MY thoughts amaz'd, I knowe not how, of late,
Halfe in a slumber, and more halfe a sleepe,
My troubled senses, at a strange debate,
VVhat kind of care should most my spirit keepe,
Me thought, I sawe a silly woman weepe,
And with her weeping, as it seem'd, so pleas'd,
As if her heart had with her teares beene eas'd.
The place, neere which she sate, was like a graue,
But all vncouer'd, and the bodie gone:
VVhere, in her care, she nothinge seem'd to craue,
But, that stolne bodie how to looke vpon.
VVhen, weeping so, appear'd to her anon
Two blessed Angels, and one Lord of blisse,
VVho came to comfort this poore wretch of his.
But ere they came, how she in bitter teares
Bewail'd the losse, or lacke of her de [...]re loue:
As to her words my vision witnesse beares,
And my remembrance, may for truth approoue,
The whole discourse, her passions seem'd to moue,
In hearts deepe griefe, & soules high [...]oy conceiued,
Was as I write▪ were not my thoughts deceiued.
If euer sorrow in a sin [...]ers hart
Liud', to distill those droppes of bitter teares,
That to the world in passions can impart
Part of that paine, the troubled spirit beares;
Smoothring the woes, wherein all pleasure weares,
Oh let her shewe the deepest of her skill,
In drawing out the essence of mine ill.
The losse of health the heart may somewhat craze,
The losse of wealth distemper may the minde;
The losse of honou [...] is a fearefull Maze;
The losse of freends, a care of greeuous kinde:
But, all these woes, vpon one heart to winde,
Were much to thinke: but much more to beleeue,
How it could liue, whom farre more Crosses greeue.
But, from the bagge of naked pouertie,
To haue more wealth, then all the world can giue:
And from the care of all calamitie,
In all the comfort of content to liue,
Where settled ioy all greefe away doth driue,
And sodenly, growe sicke, and poore againe,
Who c [...]n conceiue the plague of such a paine?
I wretched, I, the out-cast of all grace,
And banisht for my sinne, from heauenly blisse▪
I, that to Hell, did headlong runne my race,
Not caring how my soule was led amisse,
While I was cosoned, by the Serpents hisse;
I Caitiffe wretch, of all the world the worst,
By sinnes iust doome [...]o endlesse sorrow curst.
I, wretched soule, whome sinne had bared so,
As left me naked of all Natures grace:
I sinke of sinne, and also full of woe,
As knew not how in heauen to haue a place;
And in the depth of all this desperate case,
To be relieu'd, and cloth'd, grac't, and belou'd,
And on the sodaine, from all these remou'd.
To lose the Vesture of that vertues grace,
That cloth'd my naked soule, asham'd of sinne;
To lose the beautie, of that blessed face,
Where mercies loue did comforts life beginne:
To lose the ioyes, that heauens were glad to winne;
To lose the life of such a louely Freend,
Oh let me weepe, and neuer make an end.
The child, that hath his Father deerely louing,
Who sees his faults, and greatly doth abhorre them,
Yet so from wrath, will haue his thoughts remoouing,
As he will neither checke, nor chide him for them;
But puts them backe, while pitie standes before them:
And doth not onely all his faults forgiue,
But makes him kindely in his grace to liue▪
That happie Child, that in his heart hath felt
The blessed life of such a Fathers loue,
Thinke how his heart must needes in sorrow melt,
That must the losse of such a Father prooue,
And curse the death doth such a life remooue:
And, as a Creature, in all comforts freendlesse,
Bleede out his time, in teares of sor [...]ow endlesse.
That wicked Child of too much ill am I,
That had a Father held me all too deere:
Who from my sinnes, did turne his angrie eye,
And on my sorrow shew'd a smyling cheere,
And to his grace did take my soule so neere,
As when asham'd to come his face before,
He sayd but this, Take heede thou sinne no more.
My sinnes forgiuen, what ioy my soule receiu'd,
None can expresse but the repentant heart:
Nor can that sorrow euer be conceiu'd,
To see that Father from that Child depart;
But in that soule, that in the bitter smart
Of the true feeling of that Fathers loue,
Had rather death, then his departure prooue.
The carelesse Seruant, that the goods misspends,
Which his kinde Maister to his trust committ [...] ▪
And his neat house to Theeues and Varlets lends,
And cares for nought, but what his humour fitteth,
That gracious Lord, that all such faults remittteth,
And in his goodnesse doth so deerely loue him,
That from his fauour nothing shall remooue him.
So [...]ll a Seruant, that doth finde the loue
Of such a Lord, as neuer like was found▪
And in the midst of all his ioy must prooue
The death, to see his comfort all a ground,
His blessed Lord, by Theeues and Varlets bound,
Scoft, scourg'd, & beaten, sorrowing, sighing, dying;
How can that Seruant cease continuall crying?
That wicked Seruant, w [...]etched wretch am I:
That louing Maister, was my liuing Lord:
Whose gratious giftes, abus'd vngratiously,
VVhose house, my soule, fowle spirits laide aboard,
Fild full of sinnes, of graces all abhord:
Yet for all this, and all that I [...]ould doe,
My Lord forgaue me, and did loue me too.
He cleans'd my soule, from all my filthy sinne:
And with my teares, did wash it cleane againe,
Draue out the Feends, and kindly entred in,
With grace to heale, that sorrow would haue slaine:
And in his loue, did so my teares retaine,
That euerie droppe that fell vpon his feete,
Vnto my soule did giue a heauenly [...]weet.
Now, such a Maister, as was neuer such;
So good, vnto a Seruant, none so ill:
So much abus'd, abuses, oh too much;
A cursed crue, to worke their hellish will,
Like rauening VVoolues, a silly Lambe to kill,
Foule darkenesse so, to gouerne ouer light,
VVho would not weepe to death at such a sight?
A sorrie Sister that hath such a brother,
As for her loue would venter losse of life,
And her vnkindnesse so in kindnesse smother,
As twixt their lo [...]es, should kill all cause of strife;
Though her ill course were his hearts cutting knife:
To see that brother lose his liuing breath,
How can that Sister choose but weepe to death?
That Sister I, that brother was my Lord,
VVho in his loue laide downe his life for me.
VVhose death, oh C [...]osse of crosses to record,
Ah wretch that euer I was borne to see:
Though by his death, my life must onely be.
To lose a Father, Maister, Brother such,
Child, Seruant, Sister, how ca [...] I weepe too much?
Shame bad me weepe ynough, to see how sinne
Besmeered had my soule with ougly spottes,
And weepe to feele how I was feltred in
The wretched snarles of wicked natures knots,
And weepe to looke vpon those loathsome blots,
That fild me so with greefe of all disgrace,
I durst not see my Sauiour in the face.
At whose sweete feete I kneeling wept with feare,
I had offended to presume so neere,
But, sinne so fled away at euerie teare,
That grace beganne my heauie heart to cheere:
When my deere Lord sayd not, VVhat dost thou here?
Or get thee hence: or like a dogge out spurne mee:
But from my sinne vnto his mercie turne me.
He felt my tea [...]es, though no man heard my weeping,
And gaue me grace, though no man for me mou'd him.
Which made me know, he had my soule in keeping▪
Though sinne too long, too far from me remou'd him.
For sinne once fled, how deare in soule I lou'd him,
His words can witnesse, that my soule did tuch,
Much is forgiuen her, for she loued much.
He loued much that me so much forgaue.
Such my forgiuer how much should I loue?
Forgaue my sinnes, and from the Feend did saue
My wounded soule that could no comfort prooue,
Till grace and mercie did my greefe remooue.
But, when I felt my paine of sinne once past,
In mercies grace, I wept with ioy as fast.
But, oh my soule, vnworthy of this sweete,
Could not enioy these ioyfull teares too long:
For sinne and sorrow did so soundly meete,
As made my heart to sing another songe,
VVhen I beheld, the too apparant wronge,
My Lord, my Loue, my life, my King and God,
For my poore soule, and for my sinnes abode.
To see the Lambe, that bleated but our blisse,
Brought all by Woolues, vnto a bleeding end:
To see that cruell shamefull death of his,
VVho did his course but for our comfort bend,
And held our foe, that was our deerest Freend:
VVho did such good, and to receiue such ill,
VVeepe heart to death, and die in weeping still.
Vngratefull wretches, worthlesse of al grace,
Rebellious Subiects, Traytours to your King,
Could yee behold his workes before your face,
VVhat choise of good his charitie did bring?
And from your hearts could so much venom springe,
As with the Lord of peace, to stirre such strife,
To seeke his death, who onely gaue you life?
Slaues, Dogg [...]s, and Diuels, worse if I could call yee,
That so haue showne the malice of your mindes,
I cannot wish more ill then shall befall yee,
That are the impes of such accursed kindes,
As ougly Sathan with illusions blindes:
I weepe not for your sorrow; but to see,
That all yee did not die, to set him free.
And better had it beene for yee to die,
Then haue beene borne to bringe him to his death,
And by your deeds to die eternally,
Or liue in death within the Hell beneath,
Where neuer ayer shal breath you wholesome breath:
But by your choise of torments make you know,
VVhat yee haue done to breede my weeping so.
Alas, what sinne but did my soule possesse?
But that accursed crucifying sinne,
That would not let your wicked soules confesse
His glorious grace, whose grace did first beginne,
By true desert, all glorie due to winne:
And by such grace did winne my soule so to him,
My death were sweete if it might seruice doe him.
Oh that my teares, kept number with my sinnes:
Or that my sinnes were drowned in my teares:
Then should my weeping shew how ioy beginnes,
In faithfull heart, where fearefull sorrow weares,
And comforts blisse, so much contentment beares,
That hope shold shew, that halfe a heauen do [...]h win;
Better to weepe in grace, then laugh in sinne.
But, what speake I of either sinne or grace?
My sinnes too greeuous, and my gace is gone:
My life [...]s dead, the earth is all too base,
For my loues Lord, to deigne to looke vpon,
Where liues not one good creature, no not one▪
And what should I but weepe to liue to see,
I cannot see where my sweete Lord may be.
But since mine eyes haue liued to behold
The heauenly substance of my life and loue,
Wherein my faith doth gratiously vnfould
The onely blessing of my soules behoue,
All in the glorie of the heauens aboue,
Why should I liue and looke vpon the light?
Now I haue lost the ioy of such a sight.
No, I doe hope my darkenesse will not hold,
The night will passe and Sunne againe will shine.
Although my heart in comfort be a cold,
My soule doth tell me, that these teares of mine
Shall all be dri'd vp by his hand diuine:
Who so will cure me of my sinfull sore,
That I shall ioy in grace, and weepe no more.
But he is gone, my spirits onely sweete▪
And I am left, a wretched sinner heere:
Oh that my teares could with my comfort meete,
And I might see my sauing health so neere,
As with his sight my heauie heart might cheere:
Then should I loue mine eyes for such a seeing:
Without which sight, they ioy not in their being.
Let me then seeke, where I may hope to see
The onely substance of my ioying sight:
And neuer rest nor euer wearie be,
Vntill I come vnto that starre of light,
Which may direct my heart and spirit right,
Vnto that place, where gracious loue will show
My soule his presence, that it loueth so.
To clime to heauen it is too high a place:
Sinne weighes me downe to loue, to seeke him there:
For hell, it is vnworthy of such grace:
And for the world, my sorrow witnesse beare,
It is not worthy of his name to heare.
Then since, nor heere, nor there▪ without all doubt,
Within the graue I must goe seeke him ou [...].
Oh ground, more gracious then the world besides,
Which do'st enclose that all the world commaundes:
And blessed earth, that in thy Center hides
His Corpse, for whom my weeping soule demaunds:
Tell me, oh heauens, into what holy handes,
He is conuey'd, and where he now may be,
VVhome thus my heart with teares desires to see?
Thus weeping still, two Angels did appeare,
VVho, as it seem'd, desirous for to know
The monefull cause of this her mourning cheere,
Wherefore she wept, and what she sought for so;
Briefely she thus her greefe beganne to shewe
(Wringing her hands, with many a bitter teare)
Her Lord was stolne, and laid she knew not where.
O blessed Angels▪ blessed as yee be,
Tell me where is my highest blisse become?
Your Lord and mine, oh tell me where is he,
May cheere the heart that sorrow doth benumme:
Starue not my teares, vouchsafe my soule one crumme
Of comforts care, to let me truely know,
VVhere is my Lo [...]d, that I lament for so.
But doe yee aske me whome I seeke for so?
Or why I weepe? Because I cannot finde him.
O heauenly creature helpe my soule to knowe
But where he is, that I may come behinde him,
That he may know, but how my loue doth mind him:
If dead, I may vnto his tombe restore him,
And if aliue, I may on knees adore him.
Oh happie Gardiner of this holy ground,
Blest art thou borne, if thou hast liu'd to see
That blessed bodie where it may be found,
That here lay buried: tell me (if thou be,
Sent from my Lord to come and comfort me)
VVho hence hath stolne the substance of my blisse▪
And where bestowed that holy Corps of his.
But doe you aske me why I weepe so much?
And what I [...]eeke? I seeke my soules delight:
And weepe, because I finde not any such,
As can direct me to so sweete a sight:
This is the cause of my hearts heauie plight.
Oh tell me then, and put me out of doubt,
Dead, or aliue, where I may finde him out.
Thus while her ey [...]s continuall weeping kept,
Came Christ himselfe, although a while vnknowne:
VVho askt her what she sought, and why she wept:
She, as before vnto the Angels showne,
Began in teares to make her pitious mone;
Her Lord wa [...] stoln, & born [...] she knew not whither,
But if he knew, he would di [...]ect her thither.
But, while the Lord of all her life and loue,
Beheld her teares, the witnes of her truth,
To make her faith in heauenly fauour prooue
The sweete reward of mercies sacred ruth,
And know what life of such a loue ensueth,
Spake but one word, but that word was so sweete,
As would haue made her soule to kisse his feete.
Marie, quoth he, Oh Maister, blessed voice,
From which my heart recei [...]es so sweet a sound,
As makes my soule in rauisht ioy reioyce,
To thinke to liue, that I my Lord haue found:
Oh let my sinnes be in my te [...]es so drown'd,
That in my ioyes, my [...]oule be eue [...] weeping,
To haue thy presence in my Comforts keeping.
I will not presse one foote beyond the line
Of thy loues leaue, vouchsafe me but a looke
Of that sweete heauenly holy eye of thine,
Of my deere Loue the euer- [...]iuing Booke:
VVherein my teares haue such t [...] comfort tooke,
That, let the world torment [...] nere so sore,
Let me see thee, and I desire no more.
Oh, sight more pretious then tongue can expresse,
VVherein the eye doth comfort so the heart,
The heart, the soule, and all in their distresse,
Doe find an ease, and end of euerie smart,
VVhen [...]ie and heart, and soule and euerie part
Conclude in ioy, that comfort did beginne;
Better to weepe in grace, then laugh in sinne.
And with that word, she vanisht so away,
As if that no such woman there had beene.
But yet me thought, her weeping seem'd to say,
The Spirit was of Marie Magdalen;
VVhose bodie now, although not to be seene,
Yet by her speech, it seemed it was she,
That wisht all women might such VVeepers be.
FINIS.