A Heauy purse makes a light heart: O the con­sideration of this pouch, this pouch!

Why hee that has money, has hearts ease and the world in a string.

O this red chink, and siluer coine, it is the con­solation of the World.

I can sit at home quietly in my chayre, and send out my an­gels by sea, and by land, and bid fly villanes & fetch in ten in the hundred, I and a better penny too. Let me see, I haue but two children in al the world to bestow my goods vpon, Fortunatus my son & Lelia my daughter. For my son, he fol­lowes the wars, and that which he gets with swaggering, he spendes in swaggering: but Ile curbe him, his allowance whilest liue shall bee small, and so hee shall bee sure not to spend much: And if I die I will leaue him a portion, that (if he will be a good husband and follow his fathers steps) shall maintaine him like a gentleman: and if he will not, let [...] follow his owne humor til he be weary of it, and so let him go: now for my daughter she is my only ioy, & the staff of my age, and I haue bestowed good bringing vp vpon hir (barlady): why she is een modesty it self, it does me good to look on hir. Now if I can harken out some wealthy mariage for hir, I haue my only desire.

Mas, and well remembred, heer's my neighbour Ploddall hard by, has but one only sonne, and (let me see) I take it, his Lands are better than fiue thousand pounds; now if I can make a match betweene his sonne and my daughter, and so [Page 6] ioine his Land and my mony together, O twil be a blessed vnion. Well Ile in, and get a Scriuener, Ile write, to him about it presently: But stay heere come M. Churmes the Lawer, Ile desire him to do so much.

Good morrow M. Gripe.

O good morrow M. Churms.

What sayes my two debters, that I lent 200. pound to? wil they not pay vse and charges of suit?

Faith Sir I doubt they are bankrouts: I would you had your principall.

Nay Ile haue all, or Ile imprison their bodies: But M. Churms ther is a matter I would faine haue you do, but you must be very secret.

O sir feare not that Ile warrant you.

Why then this it is: my neighbour Ploddall here­by, you know is a man of very faire Land, and hee has but one son, vpon whom he means to bestow all that hee has: Now I would make a match betweene my daughter Lelia and him; what thinke you of it.

Marrie I thinke twould be a good match, but the young man has had very simple bringing vp.

[...] what care I for that? so he haue lands and liuing inough, my daughter has bringing vp will serue them both. Now I would haue you to write me a Letter to good­man Ploddall concerning this matter, and Ile please you for your paines.

Ile warrant you sir, Ile doe it artificially.

Doe, good M. Churms, but be very secret, I haue some businesse this morning, and therefore Ile leaue you a while, and if you will come to dinner to mee anone, you shall be very heartily welcome.

Thankes good sir Ile trouble you.

Now twere a good iest if I could cosen the olde Churle of his daughter, and get the wench for my selfe.

Sounds I am as proper a man, as Peter Ploddall: and though his father bee as good a man as mine, yet farre fetcht and [Page 7] deare bought is good for Ladies, and I am sure I haue been as farre as Cales to fetch that I haue.

I haue beene at Cambridge a Scholler, at Cales a Souldier, and now in the Country a Lawyer, and the next degree shal be a Connicatcher:

For Ile goe neere to cosen olde father share-penny of his daughter▪ Ile cast about Ile warrant him;

Ile go dine with him, and write him his Letter,

And then Ile go seek out my kind companion Robin Good­fellow, and betwixt vs weele make hir yeeld to any thing.

Weele ha the common law oth to hand, and the ciuilllawe oth tother:

Weele tosse Lelia like a tennis ball.

Ah Tenant, an ill husband (barlady): thrise at thy house and neuer at home?

You know my minde, will you giue tenne shillings more rent?

I must discharge you else.

Alas Landlord, will you vndoe me? I [...]it of a great rent alreadie, and am very poore.

Very poore? yare a very Asse. Lord how my stomach wambles at that same word (very poore)! Father, if you loue your sonne William, neuer name that same word very poore:

For Ile stand to it, that its pettilasseny to name very poore to a man thats oth top of his marriage.

Why son, art oth top of thy marriage, to whom I prithee?

Marrie to prittie Peg, mistresse Lelias nurses daugh­ter.

O tis the daprest wench that euer danc't after a Taberand pipe.

For shee will so heele it, and toe it, and trip it,

O hir buttockes will quake like a custard.

Why William, when were you with hir?

O Peter does your mouth water at that?

Truly I was neuer with hir, but I know I shall speed.

For tother day she lookt on me and laught, and thats a good signe (ye know): and therefore old siluer top, neuer talke of charging or discharging.

For I tell you I am my fathers heire: and if you discharge me, Ile discharge my pestilence at you. For to let my house before my lease be out, is cut-throatery: and to scrape for more rent is polepennery.

And so fare you well good Grandsire Vsury: come father lets be gone.

Well, Ile make the beggerly knaues to packe for this:

Ile haue it euery crosse, income and Rent too.

But stay here comes one: O tis M. Churms.

I hope he brings me some good newes.

M. Churms yare well met, I am een almost staru'd for mo­ney.

You must tak [...] [...]e damnable course with my Tenants: theile [...]ay.

Fayth [...]ir, they are growne to bee captious knaues.

But Ile mooue them with a Habeas corpus.

Doe, good M. Churmes, or vse any other ville­nous course shall please you.

But [...] [...]ewes abro [...]?

[...]th little news: but heer's a Letter which M. Gripe desi [...] me to deliuer you. And though it stand not with my reputatiō, to be a carrier of Letters, yet not know­ing how much it might concerne you, I thought it better something to abase my selfe, then you should be any waies hindered.

Thankes good sir, and Ile in and reade it.

Why what know'st thou Nurse? prithee tell me.

Heauy newes yfaith mistresse,

You must be matcht & married to a husband▪ ha, ha, ha, ha, [...] husband yfaith.

A Husband, Nurse? why thats good ne [...] [...] be a good one.

A good one quotha? ha, ha, ha, ha: why Wo­ [...]an I heard your father say, that he would marrie you to Peter Ploddall, that Puckefist, that snudge snowte, that Cole carrierly Clowne. Lord, twould be as good as mea [...]e and drinke to me, to see how the foole would [...] woo [...] you.

No, no, my Father did butiest: thinkest [...] I can stoope so lowe to take a browne▪ bread [...] a Clowne thats brought vp at the Cart▪

Cart quotha? I, heele cart you, for [...] tell how to court you.

Peace Mistresse, stand aside, here comes some body.

And blest be chance that hath conducted me, vnto the place where I might see my deare,

As deare to me as is the dearest life.

Sir, you may see that Fortune is your friend.

Yet Fortune fauours fooles.

By that conclusion you should not be wi [...]e.

Foule Fortune sometime smiles on vertue faire.

Sir the next way to win her loue, is to linger her leysure.

I measure my mistresse by my louely selfe, make a promise to a man, and keep it, I haue but one fault, I neere made pro­mise in my life, but I sticke to it tooth and naile: Ile pay it home yfaith.

If I promise my loue a kisse, Ile giue him two: marrie at first I will make nice, and crie fie, fie, and that will make him come againe and againe,

Ile make him breake his winde with come againes.

But what saies Lelia to her Sophos loue?

How say you by that, mistresse? heel doe any thing for your sake.

Neighbour Ploddall, and Master Churms, yare welcome to my house.

What newes in the Countrie, neighbour? you are a good husband, you ha done sowing barley I am sure.

Yes sir ant please you, a fornight since.

Master Churms, what saies my debters? can you get any money of them yet?

Not yet sir, I doubt they are scarce able to pay, You must eene forbeare them a while, theyle exclaime on you else.

Let them exclaime and hang and starue and beg, let me ha my monie.

Heres this good fellow too, Master Churms, I must eene put him and his father ouer into your hands, theyle pay me no Rent.

This good fellow quotha? I scorne that b [...], broking, brabbling, brauling, bastardly, bottlenos'd, b [...]tle­brow'd, bean-bellied name.

Why, Robin Goodfellow is this same cogging, p [...]rifogging, crackeropes Calue-skin companion:

Put me and my father ouer to him? olde Siluer top and you had not put me before my father, I would ha—

What woulst ha done?

I would haue had a snatch at you, that I [...]

What art a dogge?

No: if I had beene a dog, I would ha snapt of your nose ere this, and so I should haue cosend the D [...] of a Marriebone.

Come, come, let me end this controuersie.

Prithee go thy waies in, & bid the boy bring a cup of Sacke here for my friends.

Would you haue a sacke Sir?

A way foole, a cup of Sacke to drinke.

O I had thought you would haue had a sacke to haue put this lawcracking cogfoystin, in stead of a paire of stockes.

Away foole, get thee in I say.

Into the buttrie you meane?

I prithee doe.

Ile make your hogshead of Sackrue that word.

Neighbour Ploddall, I sent a Letter to you, by Ma­ster Churms, how like you of the motion?

Marrie I like wel of the motion: my sonne I tel you is eene all the stay I haue: and all my care is, to haue him take one that hath something: for as the world goes now, if they haue nothing they may begge.

But I doubt hees too simple for your daughter. For I haue brought him vp hardly, with brown bread, fat bacon, pud­dinges and souce, and (barlady) wee thinke it good fare too.

Tush man, I care not for that, you ha no more chil­dren: youle make him your heire, and giue hi [...] [...]our lands, will you not?

Yes, hees eene all I haue, I haue no body else to bestow it vpon.

You say well.

Nay here, you drinke afore you bargaine.

Mas, an tis a good motion: oy, fill some wine.

[...]ere Neighbour and M. Churms I drink to you.

We thanke you Sir.

Lawer wipe cleane: do you remember?

Remember, why?

Why since you know when.

Since when?

Why since you were bumbasted, that your lubberly legges would not carrie your lob cocke bodie;

When you made an infusion of your stinking excrements, in your stalking implements:

O you were plaguy frayd, and fowly raide.

Prithee peace Will. Neighbour Ploddall, what say you to this match: shall it go forward?

Sir, that must be as our children like.

For my sonne, I thinke I can rule him:

Marrie, I doubt your daughter will hardly like of him, for God wot hees very simple.

Faith, I agree.

But Sir, if you giue your daughter so large a dowrie, youle haue some part of his land conueied to her by iointure.

I, good Master Churms, and you shall be very well contented for your paines.

I marrie, thats it he lookt for all this while.

Sir, I will do the best I can.

But Landlord: I can tell you newes yfaith,

There is one Sophos, a braue genman, heele wipe your sonne Peters nose, of Mistresse Lelia, I can tell you he loues her well.

Nay, I trow:

Yes I know, for I am sure I saw them close toge­ther [Page 16] at Pupnoddie, in her Closet.

But I am sure she loues not him.

Nay, I dare take it on my death she loues him,

For hees a scholler: and ware schollers, they haue tricks for loue yfaith, for with a little Logicke & pitome colloquium theile make a wench do any thing:

Landlord, pray ye be not angrie with me, for speaking my conscience.

In good faith, your sonne Peters a verie Clowne to him:

Why, hees as fine a man as a wench can see in a sommers day.

Faith, eene like puddings without suet.

And then I will tell her plainely, that I am in loue with her, ouer my high shooes, and then I will tell her that I do no­thing of nights but sleepe and thinke on her, and specially of mornings:

And that does make my stomacke so rise, that Ile be swo [...]n, I can turne me three or foure bowles of porredgeoner i [...] a morning afore breakefast.

How now sirra, what make you here, with all that timber in your necke?

Speake man, what art afraid? what makest here?

A poore fellow Sir, ha bin drinking two or three pots of ale at an alehouse, and ha lost my way Sir▪

O, nay then I see thou art a good fellow▪

Seest thou not Master Churms the Lawer to day?

No Sir, would you speake with him.

I marrie would I.

If I see him, Ile tell him you would speake with him.

Nay, prithee stay, who wilt thou tell him would speake with him?

Marrie you Sir.

I, who am I?

Faith Sir I know not.

If thou seest him, tell him Robin Goodfellow wold speake with him.

O▪ I will Sir.

Fellow Robin, God saue you, I haue beene see­king for you in euerie Ale-house, in the Towne.

What, Master Churms? Whats the best newes a­broad? tis long since I see you.

Faith little newes: but yet I am glad I haue met with you.

I haue a matter to impart to you, wherein you may stand me in some stead, and make a good benefit to yourselfe: if we can deale cunningly, twill be worth a double fee to you, (by the Lord.)

Why, then this it is.

Here is Master Gripe hard by, a Clyent of mine, a man of mightie wealth, who has but one daughter, her Dowrie is her waight in gold.

Now Sir, this old penny father would marry her, to one Peter Ploddall, rich Ploddalls sonne and heire.

And wherein can I doe you good in this?

Marrie thus Sir:

I am of late growne passing familiar with M. Gripe,

And for Ploddall he takes me for his second selfe;

Now Sir, Ile fit my selfe to the olde crummy Churls hu­mors, and make them belieue Ile perswade Lelia to marry Peter Ploddall, and so get free accesse to the wench at my pleasure:

Now oth other side Ile fall in with the Scholler, and him Ile handle cunningly too;

Ile tell him that Lelia has acquainted me with hir loue to him:

An excellent deuise, yfaith.

I Sir, and by this meanes, Ile make a very gull of my fine Diogenes.

I shall knowe his secrets euen from the very bottome of his heart:

Nay more Sir, you shall see me deale so cunningly, that he shall make me an instrument to compasse his desire;

Nay what wil he not belieue, and take all that comes (you know my mind)

And so weele make a gull of the one, and a goose of the o­ther.

And if wee can inuent any deuise, to bring the scholler in disgrace with hir: I doe not doubt but with your helpe to creep between the bark and the tree, and get Lelia my selfe.

Tush man, I haue a deuise in my head already to doe that:

But they say hir brother Fortunatus loues him dearely.

Tuthees out of the Countrey,

He followes the drumme and the flagge.

He may chance to be kild with a double Canon before hee come home againe:

But whats your deuise?

Marrie Ile do this;

Ile frame an Inditement against Sophos, in manner and forme of a Rape, and the next Law day you shall preferre it; that so Lelia may loath him,

But how shall we prooue it?

Sounds weele hire some Strumpet or other to be sworne against him.

Now (by the substance of my soule) tis an ex­cellent deuise.

Well, lets in, Ile first try my cunning otherwise, and if all faile, weele trie this conclusion.

Yfaith Marget you must eene take your daughter Pegge home againe,

For sheele not bee rul'd by mee.

Why Mother? what will she not doe?

Faith she neither did nor does, nor will do any thing:

Send hir tuth market with egs: sheele sell them and spend the money,

Set hir to make a pudding, sheele put in no suet,

Sheele run out of nights a dancing, and come no more home till day peepe:

Nay sheele campe (I warrant ye) O she has a tongue.

But Marget eene take hir home to your Mistresse, and there keepe hir: for He keepe hir no longer.

Mother pray yee take some paines with hir, and keep hir a while longer; and if she doe not mend, Ile beat hir blacke and blew, yfaith Ile not faile you Minion.

Faith at thy request, Ile take hir ho [...] [...] try hir a weeke longer.

Come on huswife please you Granam, and be [...] good wench, and you shall ha my blessing.

Come follow vs good Wench.

I, farewell, faire weather after you.

Your blessing quotha? Ile not giue a single halpennie fo [...] ▪

Who would liue vnder a Mothers nose & a [...] [...]ong▪

A Maid cannot loue, or catch a lip clip, or [...] but heers such tittle tattle, and doe not so, and [...] and be not so fond, and do not kisse, and do no [...] [...] [Page] I cannot tell what,

But stay, I must put on my smirking lookes and smiling countenance.

For here comes one makes bominatiō suit to be my sprus husband.

Lord, that my heart would serue me to speake to hir, now she talks of hir sprus'd husband.

Well Ile set a good face ont,

Now Ile clap me as close to hir as Iones buttockes of a close stoole, and come ouer hir with my rowling, rattling, rum­bling eloquence.

Sweet Pegge, honny Pegge, fine Pegge, daintie Pegge, braue Pegge, kind Pegge, comely Pegge, my nutting, my sweeting, my Loue, my doue, my honnie, my bonnie, my ducke, my deare and my deareling:

Why William whats the matter?

Whats the matter quotha?

Faith I ha been in a faire taking, for you, a bots on you.

For tother day after I had seene you, presently my belly began to rumble:

Whats the matter, thought I?

With that I bethought my selfe, and the sweete comport [...] ­nance [Page 23] of that same sweet round face of thine came into my mind:

Out went I, and Ile bee sworne I was so neere taken, that I was faine to cut all my points.

And dost heare Pegge?

If thou dost not grant mee thy good will in the way of mar­riage;

First and for most Ile run out of my cloathes, and then out of my wits for thee.

Nay William I would bee loth you should doe so for me.

Will you looke merrily on me and loue me then?

Faith I care not greatly if I doe.

Care not greatly if I doe? what an answers that?

If thou wilt say, I Pegge take thee William to my spruce husband.

Why so I wil, but we must haue more company for witnesses first.

That needes not: heers good store of yong men & maides here.

Why then heers my hand.

Come hither my honest friend: M. Churms tolde me you had a suit to me,

Whats the matter?

Pray ye Sir is your name Robin Goodfellow?

My name is Robin Goodfellow.

Marrie Sir I heare yare a very cunning man Sir;

And sirreuerence of your worship Sir, Iam going a woe­ing to one M. Lelia a Gentlewoman here hard by,

Pray ye Sir tel me how I should be haue my selfe, to get hir to my wife.

Tush feare not the dodge;

Ile rather put on my flashing red nose, and my flaming face, and come wrapt in a Calue skin and crie bo ho:

But thou must tell hir, thou hast a good stocke, some 100. or 200. a yeare, & that will set hir hard I warrant thee.

[Page 25]For bith Mas, I was once in good comfort to haue cosend a Wench:

And wots thou what I tolde hir?

I tolde hir I had a hundred pound land a yeare, in a place where I haue not the breadth of my little finger.

I promised hir to infeoffe hir in 40. pounds a yeare of it: & I think of my conscience, if I had had but as good a face as thine,

I should haue made hir haue curst the time that euer she see mee.

And thus must thou doe, cracke, and lye, and face,

And thou shalt triumph mightily.

Barlady so had not I, I was faine to ouerreach as many times I doe.

But now experience has taught me so much craft, that I ex­cell in cunning.

Do so: and let me heare how you speede.

That I will Sir.

I heele giue you your answere (I warrant ye)

God saue you Sir.

Sir I must be plaine with you: I like not of your loue,

Lelias mine, Ile choose for Lelia,

And therefore I would wish you not to frequent my house any more,

Its better for you to ply your booke, and seeke for some preferment that way, than to seeke for a wife before you know how to maintaine hir.

Well, well, I tell yee, I like not ye should come to my house, and presume so proudly to match your poore pedigree with my daughter Lelia, and therefore I charge [Page] you to get you off of my ground: and come no more at my house:

I like not this learning without liuing, I.

He needs must goe that the diuell driues.

Sic virtus sine Censu languet.

O Ma. Churms, cry you mercy Sir, I saw not you:

I think I haue sent the scholler away with a flea in his eare.

I trow heele come no more at my house.

No, for if he doe you may indite him for com­ming of your ground.

Before God Master Churms, it is the peeuishest girle, that e­uer I knew in my life, shee will not b [...]l'd I doubt.

Pray ye sir, do you indeuour to perswade her to take Peter Ploddall.

I warrant ye, Ile perswade her: feare not.

Why, how now Mistresse; what, is it loue that makes you weepe, and tosse and tourne so a nights when you are in bed?

Saint Leonard grant you fall not loue sicke.

Yes, ants a shame for him to vse you so too.

But be of good cheare Mistresse: Ile go to Sophos euery day Ile bring you tidings and tokens too from him (Ile war­rant yee,) and if he wil send you a kisse or two, Ile bring it, let me alone, I am good at a dead lift.

Mistresse Lelia, God speed you.

Thats more then we neede at this time, for we are doing nothing.

I were as good say a good word as a bad.

But its more wisedome to say nothing at all, then speake to no purpose.

My purpose is to wiue you.

And mine, is n [...]r to wed you.

Belike, yare in loue with some body else.

Call you this a rifle? its a good backe [...]word.

Why, then you with backe sword, lets see your backe.

Nay, I must speake with Mistresse Lelia before I goe.

What would you with me?

Maintaine her with what?

Marrie, with my Lands and liuings my father has promis'd me.

I haue heard much of your wealth: but I neuer, knew your manners before now.

Faith, I haue no Mannors, but a prittie homestall, and we haue great store of Oxen, and Horses, and Carts, and Plowes, and houshold stuffe bomination:

And great flocks of sheepe, and flocks of Geese, and Ca­pons, and Hens, and Duckes; O, we haue a fine yarde of Pullen.

And thanke God: heres a fine weather for my fathers Lambes.

Its no matter what you say. For my father tolde me thus much before I came, that you would be some [...] nice at first: but he bad me like you nere the worse fo [...] for I were the liker to speede.

Then you were best leaue of your suit till some o­ther time: and when my leasure serues me to loue you, Ile send you word.

Will you? [...] Ile take my leaue of you, and [Page 30] if I may heare from you, Ile pay the messenger well for his paines.

But stay: Gods death, I had almost forgot my selfe.

Prayee let me kisse your hand ore I goe.

Faith Mistresse, his mouth runs a water for a kisse: a little would serue his turne belike.

Let him kisse your hand.

Ile not sticke for that.

Mistresse Lelia, God be with you.

Mistresse take heede you speake nothing that will beare action, for here comes Master Churms the Pet­tifogger.

Because, Sir, wee desire no other companie but our owne.

O Sir, you and hee that is her owne are farre a­sunder.

But if shee please, we may be neerer.

Why Master Churms, I had thought you had been my fathers great Counsellor in all these actions.

Master Churms, you are one can doe much with her father: and if you loue her as you say, perswade him to vse her more kindly, and giue her libertie to take her choise, for these made mariages prooue not well.

I protest I will.

Yfaith, yfaith, I canot tell what to doe,

I loue, and I loue, and I cannot tell whoe, Out vpon this loue.

For wat you what? I haue suitors comes huddle, twoes vp­on twoes, and threes vpon threes, and what thinke you troubles me?

I must chat and kisse with all commers, or else noe bar­gaine.

A bargain yfaith: ha my sweet honnie sops how doost thou?

Well I thanke you William, now I see y are a man of your word.

A man of my word quotha? why I nere broke pro­mise in my life that I kept.

Peace here comes my Granam Midnight.

Here Granam, at your elbow.

Sounds, foole in your face: foole? O monstrous in­titulation:

Foole? O disgrace to my person: sounds, foole not me, for I cannot brooke such a colde rasher I can tell you: giue me but such an other word, and Ile be thy tooth-drawer een of thy butter tooth, thou toothlesse trot thou.

Nay William pray ye be not angry, you must beare with olde folkes,

They be olde and teastie, hot and hastie: set not your wit against mine William,

For I thought you no harme by my troth.

Well, your good words haue something laide my coller.

But Granam shall I be so bolde to come to your house now and then to keep Pegge company?

I, and beshrowe thy good heart and thou doost not.

Come, and weele haue a piece of a barley bagpudding or something,

And thou shalt be very heartily welcome that thou shalt,

And Pegge shall bid thee welcome too: pray ye maide bid him welcome and make much on him, for by my vay hees a good proper springold

Granam: if you did but see him dance twoulde doe your heart good:

Lord, twould make any bodie loue him, to see how finely heele foote it.

VVilliam, prithee goe home to my house [Page] with vs, and taste a cup of our beere, and learne to knowe the way, againe another time.

Come on Granam, Ile man you home yfaith: Come Pegge.

Come hither Peter, hold vp your head: wheres your cap and leg sir boy, ha?

By your leaue master Gripe.

Welcome Peter, giue me thy hand: thart welcome; Barlady, this a good proper tall fellow, Neighbour? call you him a boy?

A good prittie squat square springold Sir.

Peter, you ha seene my daughter I am sure: how do you like hir?

What sayes she to you?

No not a whit Sir.

With all my heart Sir.

Before God, neighbour, this same Master Churms is a very good Lawer: for Ile warrant, you cannot speake [Page 37] any thing, but he has law for it advnguem,

Father did you send for me?

Sheele none she thankes you Sir.

I pray you Sir patient your selfe: shees young.

Come Neighbour, send your sonne to my house, for hees welcome thither, and shall be welcome, and Ile make Lelia bid him welcome too ere I ha done with hir:

Come Peter follow vs.

But beshrew my heart, I was afraide that Lelia would haue yeelded, whē I saw hir father take hir by the hand & cal me [Page 38] for a witnesse, my heart began to quake.

But to say the truth shee had little reason to take a Cullian, lugloafe, milkesop s [...]aue;

When she may haue a Lawyer, a Gentleman, that stands vpon his reputation in the Country:

One whose diminutiue defecte of Law may compare with his little Learning.

Well: I see that Churmes must be the man must carrie Lelia when alls done.

How now Master Churmes, what newes abroad? Me thinke you looke very spruce: yare very frolicke now a late.

What fellow Robin, how goes the squares with you?

Yare waxen very proude alate, you will not know your olde friends.

Faith I eene came to seeke you, to bestow a quart of wine of you.

Thats strange: you were nere wont to be so li­berall.

Tush man, one good turne askes another: cleare gaines man, cleare gaines:

Peter Ploddall shall pay for all: I haue guld him once,

And Ile come ouer him againe and againe, I warrant ye.

Faith, Lelia has een giuen him the doff off here, and has made hir father almost starke mad.

O all the better: then I shall bee sure of more of his custome.

But what successe haue you in your suit with hir?

But doe you thinke you shall get hir fathers good will?

Doth Sophos loue my sister Lelia?

How fares shee quotha? Marrie shee may fare how she will for you: Neither come to her, nor send to her of a whole fortnight?

Now I sweare by my maydenhead, if my husband should haue seru'd me so, when hee came a wooing to me: I would neuer haue lookt on him with a good face as long as I had liued.

But he was as kind a wretch, as euer laid lips of a woman: He would ha come through windowes or doores, or wals, or any thing, but he would haue come to me.

Marrie, after we had beene maried a while, his kindnesse began to slake, for Ile tell you what hee did:

He made me beleeue, he would go to greene goose faire, and Ile [...]ee sworne hee tooke his legges and ranne cleane a­way:

And I am afraide youle prooue eene such another kinde peece to my Mistresse: for she sits at home in a corner wee­ping for you, and Ile be sworne shees ready to die vpward for you:

And her father oth tother side, he yoles at her, and ioles at her: and shee leades such a life for you it passes, and yoole neither come to her, nor send to her:

Why, shee thinkes you haue forgotten her.

Marrie the Diuel he is: trust him and hang him. Why, hee cannot speake a good worde on him to my olde Master, and he does so ruffle before my Mistresse with his barbarian eloquence, and strut before her in a paire of Po­lonian legges, as if hee were gentleman Vsher to the great Turke, or the Diuell of Dowgate:

And if my Mistresse would be rul'd by him, Sophos might go snick vp: But he has such a buttermilke face, that shoole neuer haue him.

Iniurious villaine to betray his friend.

Sir, do you know the Gentleman?

Faith not well.

Why Sir, hee lookes like a red herring at a No­ble mans table on Easter day, and he speakes nothing but Almond butter and suger Candie.

Thats excellent.

Do, good Nurse: but in any case let no [...] my father know that I am here, vntill we haue effected all our purposes.

And I wil study to deserue this loue.

Come hither Peter, when didst thou see Ro­bin Goodfellow? Hees the man must do the feate.

Faith father, I see him not this two daies; but Ile seeke him out: for I know heele do the deed, and [...] were twentie Lelias.

For father hees a verie cunning man: for, giue him but ten groates, and heele giue me a powder, that will make Lelia come to bed to me:

[Page 48]And when I haue her there: Ile vse her well ynough.

Will he so? Marrie, I will giue him vortie shil­lings, if he can do it.

Nay, heele do more then that too,

For heele make himselfe like a diuell; and fray the Scholler that hankers about her, out ons wits.

Marrie Iesus blesse vs: will hee so?

Marrie thou shalt haue vortie shillings to giue him, and thy mother shall bestow a hard cheese on him beside.

Landlord, a pox on you, this good morne.

How now foole? what, dost curse me?

How now foole? how now Caterpiller?

Its a signe of Dearth, when such Vermine creepe hedges so early of morning.

Sirra, Foule manners, do you know to whome you speake?

Indeed Peter, I must confesse I want some of your wooing manners, or else I might haue tournde my faire bush tayle to you instead of your father: and haue giuen you the ill salutation this morning.

Yes, for fault of a better, but you get neither sweet fine, nor sower fine of me.

My masters, I pray you beare witnesse [...]

I do discharge him then.

Nay prithee stay.

Who cals me? what would you with me?

Marrie Sir, I would haue you to make proclamation, that if any manner of man, oth Towne, or oth Country, can lay any claime to Pegge Pudding, let him bring worde to the Crier, or else William Cricket will wipe his nose of her.

You meane you would be askt ith Church?

I thats it: a bots ont, I cannot hit of these marrying tearmes yet.

And Ile desire my Landlord here and his sonne, to be at the Celebrauation of my marriage too:

Yfaith Peter, you shal cramme your guts ful of Cheesecakes and Custards there.

When would you haue it done?

Marrie eene as soone as may be: let me see:

I wil be askt ith Church of Sunday at morning prayer, and againe at Euening prayer: & the next holiday that comes I will be askt ith forenoone, and married ith afternoone: For (do you marke) I am none of these sneaking fellowes that wil stand thrumming of Caps, and studying vppon a matter, as long as Hunkes with the great head has beene a­bout to show his little wit in the second part of his paultrie poetrie: but if I begin with wooing, Ile ende with wed­ding.

And therefore good Clearke, let me haue it done with all speede: for I promise you, I am verie sharpe set.

Faith you may be askt ith Church on Sunday at morning prayer, but Sir Iohn cannot tend to do it at Eue­ning prayer: For there comes a Company of Players tuth Towne, on Sunday ith after noone; and Sir Iohn is so good a fellow, that I know heele scarce leaue their companie, to say Euening prayer.

For (though I say it) hees a verie paineful man, and takes so great delight in that facultie, that heele take as great paine a­bout [Page 50] building of a Stage or so, as the basestfellow among them.

Nay, if he haue so lawfull an excuse, I am con­tent to deferre it one day the longer:

And Landlord, I hope, you and your sonne Peter wil make bold with vs, and trouble vs.

Nay William, we would be loath to trouble you: but you shal haue our companie there.

Faith you shal be very heartily welcome, and wee wil haue good merry rogues there that wil make you laugh till you burst.

Why William, what company doe you meane to haue?

Marrie, first and for most, there wil bee an honest Dutch Cobbler, that wil sing (I wil noe meare to Burgaine goe) the best that euer you heard.

What, must a Cobbler be your chiefe guest? Why hees a basefellow.

A basefellow? you may be asham'd to say so,

For hees an honestfellow, and a goodfellow:

And he begins to carrie the verie badge of good fellowship vpon his nose; that I do not doubt, but in time he wil prooue as good a Copper companion as Robin Goodfellowe him­selfe.

I and hees a tallfellow, and a man of his hands too,

For Ile tel you what: tie him tuth Bull-Ring, and for a bag­pudding, a Custard, a Cheescake, a hogges cheeke, or a Calues head, turne any man ith towne to him; and if he do not prooue himselfe as tall a man as he, let blind Hugh be­witch him, and tourne his bodie, into a barrel of strong Ale, and let his nose be the Spigat, his mouth the Fosset, and his tongue a Plugge for the bunge hole.

And then there wil be Robin Goodfellow, as good a drunken rogue as liues: and Tom Shoomaker; and I hope you wil not deny that hees an honest man, for hee was Constable oth Towne.

And a number of other honest rascals, which though they [Page 51] are growne bankroutes and liue by the reuersion of other mens tables:

Yet (thankes bee to God) they haue a penny amongst, at all times at their neede.

Yes Ile send you word.

Why then farewell, till wee heare from you.

Wel Cleark, youle see this matter brauely performed: let it be done as it should be.

Ile warrant ye, feare it not.

Why then go you to Sir Ihon, and Ile to my wench, and bid hir giue hir Maidenhead warning to prepare itself▪ for the destruction of it is at hand.

Nurse, what newes?

Faith you must and you must not.

As how I pray thee?

Marry I haue commendations to you.

From whom?

From your brother Fortunatus.

My brother Fortunatus?

No: from Sophos.

From my Loue?

No from neither.

From neither?

Yes from both.

Prithee leaue thy foolery, and let me knowe thy newes.

Your brother Fortunatus, and your loue, to mor­row night will meet you by the forrest side,

There to conferre about I knowe not what:

But tis like, that Sophos will make you of his priuy councell, before you come againe.

Is Fortunatus then retourned from the warres?

If hee had lou'd you but halfe so well, he would ha come through stone walles, but he would haue come to you ere this.

Brauely resolued yfaith.

Farewell faire loue, vntill we meet againe.

Why so: did I not tel you she would be glad to run away with mee at length?

Why this falles out, een as a man would say, Thus I would haue it.

But now I must go cast about for some money too,

Let mee see: I haue outlaw'd three or foure of Gripes deb­ters.

And I haue the bonds in mine owne hands:

The summe that is due to him, is some two or three hun­dred pounds:

Well, Ile to them: if I can get but one halfe,

Ile deliuer them their bonds, and leaue the other halfe to their owne consciences; and so I shall be sure to get mony to beare charges:

What M^r. Churms? what alone? how fares your body?

Faith Sir, reasonable well: I am eene walking here to take the fresh ayre.

Wel: let them laugh that winne.

Marrie, Iesus blesse vs: why prithee?

What a talking is here of noses and faces?

[Page 58]Come Pegge, wee are towarde marriage; let vs talke of that may doe vs good: Granam, what wil you giue vs toward howse-keeping?

If she loue me Ile loue hir, yfaith my sweet honny combe, Ile loue thee, [...]

We must be askt in Church next Sunday, and weel be mar­ried presently.

Yfaith William weele haue a merry day ont.

That wee will yfaith Pegge: weele haue a whole noise of fiddlers there:

Come Pegge lets hie vs home, weele make a bag-pudding to supper▪

And William shall go and sup with vs.

Come on yfaith.

O, peace a while: you shal see good sport a­none.

O good Sir, I beseech you, Ile do any thing;

Then downe to Hell, for sure thou art a Diuell.

O hold your hands, I am not a Diuell by my troth.

Sounds, dost thou crosse mee? I say thou art a Diuell.

O Lord sir saue my life: and Ile say as you say, or any thing else youle ha me doe.

Then stand vp and make a preachment of thy Pedigree, and how at first thou learnd'st this diuelish trade: vp I say.

O monstrous villane!

But tell me: whats thy course of life, & how thou shiftest for maintenance in the world?

The diuel himself was neuer coniur'd so.

Nay, she it is that I expect so long.

Nay first, Ile send thy soule to cole blacke night.

Thou promis'd loue: now seale it with a kisse.

Nay, let me do it, thats my part.

You wrong me much to rob me of my loue.

Auant, base braggard: Lelias mine.

She lately promis'd loue to me.

My choice is made: and here it is [...]

I know you vse to looke aloft.

Yet not so high as your crowne.

What if you had?

Faith I should ha spied but a Calues head.

We both do wish a fortunate goodnight:

And pray the Gods to guide thy steps aright.

In such a night, Aenaeas prou'd vnkind.

In such a night did Troilus court his deare.

In such a night, faire Phyllis was betraid.

Ile proue as true as euer Troylus was.

And I as constant as Penelope.

Heare you Master Goodfellow how haue you sped?

Ha you plaid the Diuel brauely, and scard the scholler out ons wits?

A pox of the Scholler.

Nay harke you: I sent you vortie shillings, and you shal haue the cheese I promis'd you too.

A plague of the vortie shillings, and the Cheese too.

Heare you, wil you giue me the powder you told me of?

How you vex me! powder quotha? Sounds I ha been powderd.

Son, I doubthee wil proue a craftie knaue, and cosen vs of our money:

Weele go to Master Iustice and complaine on him, and get him whipt out oth Countrie for a Connicatcher.

I, or haue his eares naild to the Pillorie: Comes lets goe.

Fellow Robin, what newes? howe goes the world?

Faith, the world goes I cannot tell how:

How speed you with your wench?

I would the wench were at the Diuel:

A plague vpont I neuer say my prayers, and that makes me haue such ill lucke.

I think the scholler be haunted with some Demi­diuel.

Why▪ didst thou fray him?

We are horribly haunted: our behauiour is so beastly, that we are growen loathsome, our craft gets vs nought but knocks.

What course shal we take now?

Faith [...] cannot tell [...] lets eene run our Countrie, for heres no staying for vs.

Faith agreed: lets go into some place where wee are not knowne, and there set vp the art of knauerie with the second edition.

Master, now out vpons, well aday: we are al vndone!

Tis not possible: nere tell me. I dare trust Master Churms with a greater matter then that.

Faith you must trust him whether you will or no, for hees gone.

[Page 68](Marke what I say) for Ile teach you the way to come to heauen, if you stumble not:

Giue all you haue to the poore,

But one single penny, and with that penny buy you a good strong halter,

And when you ha done so: come to mee and Ile tell you what you shall do with it.

If thou hadst sayd Lelia, it had beene something.

What moues my father to these v [...]th fits?

Faith Sir, hees almost mad: I thinke he cannot tell you:

And therefore I presuming Sir, that my wit is something better than his, at this time (do you marke Sir?)

Out of the profound circumambulation of my supernatu­rall wit Sir (do you vnderstand?)

Well, and what of that?

And how then?

Marrie then there was a certaine craking, cog­ging, pettifogging, buttermilke slaue Sir, one Churms Sir, that is the very quintessence of all the knaues in the bunch; And if the best man of all his kin had been but so good as a yeoman mans sonne:

He should haue been a markt knaue by letters patents,

And hee Sir comes me sneaking, and cosens them both of their wench, and is run away with hir:

And Sir belike hee has cosend your father heere of a great deale of his mony too.

Now, by cocke and pie, you neuer spoke a truer word in your life, hees a very kind gentleman:

For last time he was at our house he gaue me three pence.

O nobly spoken: God send Pegge to prooue as wise a woman as hir Mother, and then we shall be sure to haue wise children.

Nay if he be so liberall: olde Gransire you shall giue him the good-will of your daughter.

Faith Sir, this same Churms is a very scuruy Lawer:

For once I put a case to him: and me thought his law was not worth a pudding.

Why what was your case?

And hee sued you vpon wilfull murther?

No: but he went to law with me, and would make me either pay for his sow, or hang my dogge:

Now Sir to this same Retourner I went.

To beg a pardon for your dogge?

So Sir I take his counsaile: and alwaies when he sende to me for his goose, I denie it, and craue a longer time to answere.

Why Granam, looke where he is.

I, say it and spare not.

Marrie gods be [...]niso [...] l [...]t oth thy good hart, fort:

Ha, that I were you [...] againe!

[...] I was an olde doer at these loue songs when I was a [...]

Now by the [...] [Page 73] the merriest woer in all Womanshire.

Faith, I am none of those that loue nothing but Tum dum diddle▪

If he had not beene a merrie shauer, I would neuer haue had him.

But come my wimble lasse, let al these matters passe: And in a bouncing brauation, lets talke of our copulation: What good cheere shal we haue to morrow?

Old Grandsir Thickskin, you that sit there as melancholy as a mantletree, what will you giue vs towarde this merrie meeting?

Marry wel said old master: eene God giue them ioy indeed, for by my vay, they are a good sweete yong couple.

Granam stand out oth way, for here come gentlefolke wil run ore ye else.

Master, here comes your sonne againe▪

Sounds, I thinke he be spur-blind. Why, Lelia stands [Page 74] hard by him.

Nay an you be good at that, Ile tel you what weele doe.

[...] I must be married to morrow; and if you will, weele goe all tuth Church together: and so saue Sir Iohn a labour.

Agreed.