¶A briefe and pleasaunt discourse of duties in Mariage.
WHAT TIME that Flora had clothed the [...]arth and braunchesse of the new springing trées, with leaues of liuelye grene and being as it were in the prime of his delightes, had garnished the pleasant fields a newe with fragrant flowers, early on a morning when Phoebus also had spreade abrode his blisfull rayes, and comfortable beames, I with a friende of mine, called Maister Pedro di luxan, deuised how to enioye some part▪ of that delightfull season, and in the ende concluded to walke, and range abrode in the fieldes, and pleasant Groues, where we were not onelye pertakers with y• swéete recording birdes, in the woonderfull workes of the almightie: [Page] but were thereby also occasioned, to glorifie the Creator thereof. Thus consuming the time, tyll it was néere Noone, and when the Sunne began to waxe somwhat warme, we determined to go from thence, vnto a worthy Ladies house thereby called the Lady Iulia, where we might rest vs the heate of the day, and as it chaū ced, we came in very good time. For euen as we entred the Ladies house, they had newly washed, & were ready to sit downe to dinner, where we founde a ioyfull companie assembled togithers, both Ladies, and Gentlemen, amongst the which, was Madame Iulias daughter, called the Lady Isabella a very faire gentle womā. There was also y• Lady Aloisa with many other Ladies, and their lincked Mates, beside M. Lodouic Viues, and an olde Gentleman called M. Erasmus, of whome after we had taken acquaintance, and vsed such courtesie as the time, & place required, we sate all downe orderly to dinner, where there was such exceding chéere, such pleasaunt talke, such melodie, and such swéete chéering of y• Ladies, that it was a worlde [Page] to sée how mery we were. And being thus in our pleasures, y• Lady Iulia deuised wt the company in what pastimes we should spende the after noone. Some lyked well of carding, and dicing, some of dauncing, and other some of Chestes, al which were condemned by the most parte, who alleaged that those Pastimes were not aunswerable to the tyme of the yeare, but more méete for Christmas: and therefore such game were fittest, that might be vsed abroade in the fields, as bowling, shooting and such other like. But M. Pedro nothing at all lyking of such deuises, wherein the Ladies should be left out, said y• he wel remembred how Boccace & Countie Baltizar with others recoūted many porper deuises for exercise, both pleasant, & profitable, which quoth he, were vsed in y• courts of Italie, and some much like to them, are practised at this day in the English court, wherein is not onely delectable, but pleasure ioyned wyth profite, and exercyse of the witte. With that all the whole assemblie, both Ladies, and Gentlemen, desired him, for that they were vnskilfull in those [Page] deuises, he woulde put some one of them in [...], which he best lyked off, and they all woulde be obedient to his determination. At the first he vtterly refused it, but in the ende at their often intreaties,Maister Pedro [...] the pastime. he aunswered, that he would doe his diligence. So in haste the table was taken awaye, and the companye hauing washed, the Ladyes wythdrewe them for a whyle into their Chambers, at whose returne we went al into the Garden, a place marueylous delectable (wherein was a passing faire arbour,The description of the Arbor. at the entrance wherof, on eche side sprong vppe two pleasaunt trées, whose gréene leaues much delighted our eyes, and were supported wyth two statelye Pillers, curiously painted with diuers deuises. All the whole arbour aboue ouer our heades, and on eche side was powdred with sundrie flowers, and wreathed about with the swéete Bryer or Eglantine, betweene the braunches whereof the chéerefull Sunne layde in his beames, here and there, so that the heate did not molest vs, n [...]ther did the Sunne want to chéere vs. [...] shall I saye? It might be called a [Page] terrestrial paradise. And when the whole companie were orderly marshalled by M. Pedro on the benches, which were trimly set with Camamile, and Das [...]s, he gathered from the top of the Arbour, thrée, or foure braunches of Roses w [...]h their greene leaues, whereof he wreathed a Garlande, and demaunded of the whole company, if they woulde consent to his election, and obey whome so [...]r [...] dyd choose for their Soueraigne, whereto they all aunswered that they woulde. And then turning towardes the Lady Iulia, The Ladie Iulia chos [...]n Soueraigne. sayde that he in the name of them all, for sundrye respects presented vnto hir, that garland, and therewith the soueraigntie ouer them for that day. And when he bad set y• same vpon hir head, said that whereas they had willed him to deuise their pastime, he thought it best, the company being so apt for that purpose, they should by course eyther rehearse some pleasaunt stories, or debate vpon some such matter as the Ladie Iulia their soueraigne should commaund. And my opinion is, quoth he, forasmuch [...] euery thing sheweth nowe a certayne [Page] naturall amitie amongst themselues, yea the trées,Plinie. sayth Plinie, hath a naturall instinct of friendship, the swéete flowers, the pleasaunt herbes, declares the same also, that we intreate somewhat of friendship, and bycause no friendship, or amitie is, or ought to be more déere, and surer, than the loue of man and wife, let this treatise be thereof, wherein I woulde the duetie of the married man to be described. For the knowledge of duetie is the maintenaunce of friendship. All the company commended Maister Pedro for his pleasant deuise, & the Lady Iulia standing vp said, that forsomuch, as the souer aigntie, thought not wyth hir wyll, was committed vnto hir with consent of them all, and due obedience promised, I like well quoth shée, of thys which Maister Pedro hath alreadie deuised, touching friendship, and duetie of the maried man. Wherefore by the same authoritie, which I haue receyued, I commaunde you Sir, and turned hir towardes Maister Pedro, to performe this charge, which you haue deuised of the maried man, not for that I thinke you to [Page] be a better husbande,Maister Pedro is commaunded to describe the maried m [...] that any of the reast here. But bicause we being yet wholy ignoraunt in this kinde of pastymes, you may as the principall author thereof, instruct vs in the whole circumstance: and agayne, being so well languaged, as you are, we shall haue good sporte, to heare you interlarde our Countrie spéeche with some Spanish trickes. As I doe, quoth Maister Pedro, vtterly denie to be the author of these pastimes, which haue long ago bene else where practised: so might I right well excuse my selfe, both for want of skill, and also of good vtteraunce. But for that I haue in the name of all the rest, promised obedience vnto your L, I wyll not be the first that shall disobey. Wherefore worthie Ladies, and Gentle women, quoth he, if I doubted of your friendlye iudgement, and beneuolence, I woulde craue it at the beginning, but bicause your good hearts and noble natures,Maister Pedro beginneth this Flower of Friendship. haue bene by proofe sufficientlye tryed of me, letting that passe, I will goe briefly to my charge the Flower of Friendship, wherein I will first declare vnto you, the vertues of [Page] the matrimoniall estate, which, (setting virgmitie aside,The commend [...]tion of mariage. as the purest estate, is both holy and most necessary. It is not vnknowne vnto vs Christians, howe God the Creator of all thinges, made of the rib of Adam his welbeloued Eua, as an helper, whō Adam called bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh,Gene [...]s. 2. so that the almightie instituted this holye ordinaunce of matrimonie in the bliss [...]full place of Paradice, when man was in his chiefest perfection: and therefore, if antiquitie may giue any worthynesse, what is more auncient than this honorable estate, which God himselfe the founder of all ordayned and consecrated? What is more honorable, and praise worthie, than this, that Christ wyth his mother in Canaan did not onely with his presence make honorable, but also wyth miracles did sanctifie the same? What is more iust, than to render that to our posteritie, which we of our predecessors haue before rec [...]yued? What thing is more inhumaine, than for man to contemne that as prophane, which the eternall hath halowed, and nature hir selfe bewtified? christ [Page] our Lorde commaundeth that man shall forsake Father and Mother, and cleaue to his welbeloued spouse, and what is more holy, than loue towardes parents, which GOD in the commaundements hath rewarded with the longnesse of lyfe, yet matrimony is preserred before y• same, what is then more necessarie than Matrimony which containeth the felicity of mans life, the Flower of Friendship, y• preseruation of Realnies, the glorie of Princes, & that which is most of all, it causeth immortalitie. I might here alleage a nūber of authorities in the commendation of mariage aswell of auncient Doctors and Fathers, as also worthie Philosophers, and graue learned men. But bycause you doubt not therin, and the state doth sufficiently commende it selfe, I let them passe, and will before I procéede any further,The rites of diuers nati [...]ns in marying. shew you y• rytes of diuers Nations, in celebrating this misterie, whereof as some will make you to laugh so other some are to be noted. As for the christian orders they are not vnknowne vnto you.The Romaines. Amongst the auncient Romaines, as Cicero recordeth, were [Page] two kindes of mariages, wherby they had also two sortes of wyues, the one more ordinarye, whom they called Matrons, the other were called houswyfes, which were married by conioyning of handes, almost like vnto vs. These dyd they estéeme as their daughters, and had like enheritance of their landes, who bare the rule of their houses, and therefore called houswyfes. But no excesse of y• husband might be permitted vnto them. For on the Matrons began they their children.The Babilonians. The Babilonians maried their maides without dowries in this maner. All their maids, which were to be married, were assembled in a place appoynted, and placed orderlye the fayrest first, then the meaner sort, and last the fowlest. The fayrest was gyuen vnto him that would giue most money to marrie with hir, still paying according to their bewtie, more or lesse, till they came to the fowlest, & to them, that woulde mary any of those, was gyuen parte of the money, that was taken for the fayrer sort, paying according to the rate, as they excéeded in foulenesse. The like maner also, was vsed [Page] amongst the auncient Venetians, The Venetians. as sayeth Sabellicus, an vnhappye custome was it, quoth the Lady Iulia, & likely that the Flower of Friendship was but weak lye rooted betwéene them of so slender acquaintance: But I pray you tell vs, how the indifferent sorte were maried, that were neyther foule, nor fayre, but louely browne. Mary quoth he, for such amongst the Venetians there was no money either gyuen, or taken, but were maryed for naught. And so perchaunce, quoth a mery gentleman, that stoode by, called maister Gualter of Cawne, were some of the fairest, as they be sometimes nowe a dayes. I haue also redde, quoth Maister Pedro, that in Fraunce,The French men. the Maydens did choose their husbandes in this sorte. The parents calldd a number of young men to a banket whō they thought fittest, & him, to whome the Mayde gaue first water, by that signe she chose for hir husband. In Mauritania, The Mauritanians. as sayeth Diodorus Siculus, there was such store of women, y• euery man might haue fiue wyfes, and no lesse than thrée, which also after y• death of their husbands [Page] within one moneth eyther willinglye buried themselues wyth him, or were perforce executed by the lawe. In the Isles of Canaria, In the Isles of Canaria. there were contrariwise so many men, and so fewe women, that euerye wife might haue seauen husbands, & could not take lesse than fiue. But I trust, quoth the Lady Aloisa, that those men were not so kinde harted, as to be buried with their wyues, as the woman in that other countrie were with their husbandes. I thinke not quoth Mayster Pedro, and I doubt whether those women of Mauritania, coulde not haue béene contented to haue taried behinde their husbandes, had there béene no lawe to haue compelled them. Tush quoth the Lady Iulia, this is farre frō your matter. What appertaineth this to the Flower of Friendship? lady quoth he, I am not yet come to my purpose. But one word more, and I will to my charge. The Chaldeans, The Chaldeans. that honored the fire for their God, had an easie custome: for when they minded to marrie, the Priest kindled the fire in the good mans house, and both the parties touching it, were assured togither, [Page] and when any of them mislyked, one of them quenched the fire, and so were they as frée, as euer they were before. In another Countrie the Priest of their Idols enioyed the first nightes pleasures of the Bride,The Scots. as in Scotland the Lorde of the Soyle, hath the first fruites of all the Uirgins, wythin his Lordeship. A number of such lyke customes I coulde recite, but I may not spende longer time in those trifles,What equalitie is in mariage. & the Ladie Iulia desireth to heare of our friendly Flower, whereto nowe I returne, and saye, that equalitie is principally to be considered in this matrimoniall amytie, as well of yeares, as of the giftes of nature and fortune.Pitachus Myteleneus. For equalnesse herein maketh friendlynesse Pytachus Myteleneus one of the seauen sages of Greece, being demaunded of a yong man, whome he should take to wyfe, aunswered, go and learne of the children, that play togither, and they will informe thée. For they had agame among them, wherin they often repeated, take to thee thy peere. Marry not a superiour, sayth Plutarch. Plutarch. For in so doing, in stéede of kinsefolkes, [Page] thou shalt get thée maysters, in whose awe thou must stande, and a riche womā, that marieth a poore man, seldome, or neuer, shake off y• pride from hir shoulders. Yea,Menander. Menander sayth, that such a man hath gotten in stéede of a wyfe a husband, and she of him a wyfe, a straunge alteration, a wonderfnll metamorphosis. But Licurgus the law maker well considered that,Licurgus. when he ordained that women shoulde be married without dowries, so that then they had nothing to be prowde off, saue onely their vertues, which ought to be accounted y• chiefest dowrie. For that which is more excellent, is to be preferred before things of lower valour. Why then for lack of substance, shall a vertuous wife be repelled,Alexander▪ or for want of wealth, wisedome be reiected? Alexander, the great Monarch of the whole worlde, shewed his noble courage in nothing more, than in that hée reiecting the riche Barbarian Quéenes, vouchsafed to match with Barcina, daughter of Arbaces, a poore gentleman, but of noble parentage, wherein not riches, but nobilitie adorned with vertues [Page] preuayled. Well quoth the Ladie Iulia, I pray you what is he now a dayes that had not rather marie a woman ful of money, wanting vertue & grace, than that hauing vertues, lacketh money. For my parte, it well lyketh me that equalitie, as you say, be obserued, seing equalnesse causeth friendlynesse. But I vnderstande not this kinde of equalitie, wherein you séeme to allow the greatest inequalitie yt can be. For Alexander being Lorde of the whole worlde coulde finde no equall match, in respect of his greatnesse. Much lesse Barcina that was so farre his inferiour, both in parentage, and substance. Not so farre his inferiour, quoth Maister Pedro, for the great vertues which abounded in Barcina, and as I sayde before, the onely rychesse to be required in a woman, was in al respects comparable to the great greatnesse of Alexander the great, neyther did she want sufficient parentage, & though not a conquerour of the worlde, yet well knowne to be procéeded from the conquerours own linage, so that a vertuous woman being wise, and of good lynage, wanteth [Page] no equalitie on hir parte to counterpeyse the greatest ryches or treasure, that any man can haue. For where vertue aboundeth, all good things doe flowe. And to conclude, I say that great regard ought the man to haue in his choyse, that he may leaue hys childe parentage, which being ioyned to vertues, maketh men perfite. Now for y• equalitie in age, I say cōfisteth likewise in the equalitie of yeares, but not so much as the Philosophers, in times past affirmed. For Aristotle by his reasons, woulde haue the man to be twentie yeares elder than his wife, bycause they might leaue off procreation at one tyme. Hesiodus the Gréeke Poet, & Xenophon the philosopher woulde haue the woman fourtene, and the man thirtie yeares olde, so that there shoulde be sixtéene yeares betwéene them, bicause in that time, the man shoulde be best able to rule his housholde, and the woman taken from euill occasions. Licurgus lawe was amongest the Lacedemonians, Licurgus. that the man shoulde not marry, before thirtie and seauen yeres of age, and women at eightene. What [Page] maner of equalitie is this, quoth the Lady Isabella, I woulde neuer marry, rather than to take such olde crusts, whose wiues are more occupied in playstering, than in enioying any good conuersation. You say truth, quoth Maister Pedro, neyther doe I allowe it, yet may I not condemne the auncient philosophers. For in those daies men liued longer, and their natures were much stronger. Therfore by likelyhoode it was at that time more tollerable. But my opinion is, that they differ not aboue foure or fiue yeares. After this match made, and equalities considered, next foloweth, to loue, & to lyke well: For perfite loue knitteth louinge heartes,What loue in mariage shoulde be. in an in insoluble knot of amitie. Loue indifferent serueth not, loue fayned prospereth not. Wherefore it must be true, and perfite loue, that maketh the Flower of Friendship betwéene man and wyfe freshlye to spring. This loue must growe by little and little, and that it may be durable, must by degrées take roote in the hart. For hasty loue is soone gone. And some haue loued in post hast, that afterwards haue repented them [Page] at leysure. Wée all séeke the fayrest, the richest, and noblest. But vertues are laide aside, and naught accounted off, we seeke so feede our eyes, and not to content our eares. Why? quoth Maister Gualter, shal a man choose his wyfe with his eares. To choose with our eares, quoth Maister Pedro, is to inquire of hir vertues, & vyces by reporte whereof you shall vnderstande hir conditions, and qualities, good, & badde. As for that, quoth Gualter, it booteth not. For the best of them all hane their faults. And if she be vertuous, shée wyll looke to be so honored, that hir husbande shall haue the more a do to please hir. And I remember, that a wyse man, I knowe not hys name, being enquired of a friende of his, with whom he shoulde marry, aunswered that hée hadde béene married foure sundry times, first with a faire woman, who was so prowde of hir beautie, that he was faine to please and content hir, least she shoulde dishonour him, the seconde verye riche, whose substance made hir so statelye, that he was forced lyke a slaue to obey hir, the thirde was so vertuous, that he was glad [Page] to honor, and reuerence hir, to kéepe hir still in hir vertuous goodnesse, the last was of good lynage, which so exalted hir stomacke, that shée made him hir bondman. Nowe choose, quoth hée, which of these foure thou canst best content thy selfe. You haue made a fayre reason quoth the Lady Aloisa, I neuer knewe that you were so déepelye learned before and all the Ladies woulde haue driuen Maister Gualter out of the Arbor▪ But father Erasmus sayde that he remembred the lyke thinge of Anaxagoras, and therefore hée was not to be blamed, bycause he did but repete the wordes of a Philosopher. What then, quoth Maister Pedro, it is no parte of my charge to disprayse women, but to speake the best of them, and to plant the Flower of Friendship betwéene them, and their husbands. Wherfore, let loue be rooted déepely in the mans heart towardes the woman: Let the person be sought, not hir substaunce, craue hir vertues, not hir riches, then shall there be a ioyfull beginning, and a blessed continuance in amity, by which all things shall prosper, & come [Page] to happie ende. Beware of hatred, be circumspect in loue, which of them first taketh place, doth abide during lyfe. And loue grounded remaineth for euer, which being once gone, al other goodnesse foloweth for companye.The man must beware in chyding when he is newly maried. Therefore to confirme this loue y• married man must as much as he can, alwayes abstaine from brawling, lowring and grudging, especiallye, when he is newly married. For if the wyfe first conceyue hate, she will neuer receyue loue againe. The husband then must be mery, and pleasaunt with his wyfe, to make hir the more in loue wyth him at the beginning, so that if afterwardes they chaunce to fall at square, it shall ryse but of a sodayne anger, which will be gone againe as soone, and not of anye olde conceyued malice. There be manye men that boast much, how they be serued, and feared, like Bugges, of their wyues, but they marueylously deceyue themselues. For much better were it, if they were better beloued and lesse feared. For whome the wyfe hateth, in feare she serueth, but whome shée loueth, shée gladly cherisheth. It is good [Page] reason, that all women doe labor to stande in the good grace of their husbandes, but much more ought wée men to foresée, that we fall not into the hatred of our wyfes. For if she once fasten hir eyes on another he shall enioy hir in dispite of hir husbands beard. In this long and troublesome iourney of matrimonye, the wise man maye not be contented onely with the Spouses virginitie,The maried man steale away his wyues priuate will. but by little and lyttle must gently procure that he maye also steale away hir priuat will, and appetite, so that of two bodies there may be made one onelye heart, which shée will soone doe, if loue raygne in hir, and without this agréeable concorde, matrimonie hath but small pleasure, or none at all, and the man, that is not lyked, and loued of his mate, holdeth his lyfe in continuall perill, his goodes in great ieoperdie, his good name in suspect, and his whole house in vtter perdition. I will recite two, or thrée examples of those that loued their wyues well,Such as loued well their wiues. Adam. and then I will procéede. The first that loued hys wyfe, was our father Adam, who being set in Paradice, and forbidden on paine of [Page] death, one onelye trée in the Garden, to consent and please Eua his wyfe, did notwithstanding eate of it, and dyed. Darius the great King,Darius. being ouercome by Alexander, in all things shewed himselfe stout and inuincible, till he vnderstoode that his wyfe was taken prisoner, who then poured oute of his teares aboundantly, as lamenting for that which he more estéemed than his lyfe,Tiberius Gracchus. or estimation. Valerius Maximus saith, that Tiberius Gracchus finding two Serpents in his bed, sent for the soothsayers to knowe what y• straunge chaunce ment, and signified, which aunswered, that if he killed the male serpent, bée shoulde dye before his wyfe, but if the female were first slayne, his wyfe shoulde die before him. He bearing entire loue towardes his wyfe, gaue his owne death to prolong hir life, and killed presently the Male serpent. There be, quoth the Ladie Iulia, fewe such [...]sbandes in these our dayes, or rather none at all. That is the matter quoth Maister Gualter, that your Ladiship is so a fearde to marry, but yet to tell the truth, and shame the Deuill, there [Page] be mo suche husbandes, than lyke wyfes if it were well tryed. This [...] foole, quoth Madame Aloisa, woulde be well beaten, and banished our companie. For he is still pratling against women, and interrupt [...]th our pastime. No, no, quoth Maister Pedro, hée increaseth our sporte, and therefore we cannot well want him. But I will shewe you one example more of later yeares, bycause the Ladye Iulia sayeth that none nowe a dayes doe loue their wyfes so well. Baptista Fulgosa recounteth of a certayne poore man,Baptista Fulgosa. and hys wyfe, that were seeking for their sustenance vpon the Sea side. The woman being taken awaye, by certaine Rouers, hir husbande swam in the Sea after hir, desiring the Pirates to take him also, saying, that he had rather be with his wife in captiu [...]tie, than lacking hir, to liue at lybertie, whereat the Pirates marueiling, receyued them both into their Shippe, and declaring the whole aduenture, presented them to the King of Lunis, who vnderstanding the case, gaue them great commendation, and not onely set them at lybertie, [Page] but also sente them home wyth great rewarde.
This maye satisfie to make you vnderstand, that men doe sometimes loue their wyues, & hereby may you also sée of what force the true matrimoniall loue is, wheron let the maried man fasten, and ground all the rest of his doings, and so shall t [...]ys friendly Flower be planted in a fertile soyle. And as there be certayne sweete herbes, that are great nourishers of this Flower: Weedes that will ouergrow the friendly Flower. so there be certayne poysoned wéedes, that will ouergrowe it, and in the ende vtterly destroye it, if they be not wéeded out by the roote, whereof the first and chiefest is adulterie. For what godlynesse can raygne in that house,Adultery. where harlots beare the rule, whose fruits Salomon doth greatly describe. For if the husband please the wicked woman, he must of force displease hys owne wyfe being godlye, and that iniurie a good woman cannot with anye pacience support. At what time the married man determineth to kéepe a harlot, euen the same houre, doth he set fire to his honestie, destruction [Page] to his house, and losse of all, that euer he hath. An honest woman wyll suffer a thousand discommodities in hir husband, so that she be assured, that he is contented with hir, and loueth hir only. What greater crueltie can a man shew vnto his wife, than to kéepe all his raylings, brawlings, and chidings for hir, and another to enioy all his (good) conuersation, and pleasures. I doubte which of them hath the greater hart, either he in doing it, or she in suffring it. Can there be any greater disorder, than for the husbande to be merie abrode, and lowre at home, to take from hys wyfe, and gyue to his harlots, to want for his childrē, and to suffice for his bawdes. The fayth that the woman oweth to hir husbande, the like [...]fidelitie ought the man to repaye vnto his wyfe, and though the ciuill lawe gyueth man the superioritie ouer his wife, that is not to offende, or dispraise hir, but in misdoing louingly to reforme hir. Therefore the abhorring of adulterie increaseth amitie betwene man, and wife, and the chiefest way to ground the Flower of Friendship in matrimonie is, first to [Page] roote out the poyson of adulterie. The seco [...]de wéede that is to be ex [...]irped is gamnin [...],G [...]ing. which though the woman can with more pacience suffer, than this others: yet for his owne sake, let him forbeare it. For what wisedome is it, that a man at one chance of the Dice, hasardeth as much, as the toyle of his whole lyfe hath gottten, and scrapte togither, and small commoditie the gamester reapeth thereby, when he hath best hap, if all his cardes be tolde. For suppose hée wynne, yet is there such cursing, such lying, such brawling, chyding, and swearing, that the Deuill laugheth, them all to scorne. If he lose, he fretteth, and fumeth so, that beside the losse of his thrift, he hazardeth both body & soule, with cursing, and blaspheming. Then if he eyther wynne, or lose, yée sée these his gaines and commodities. I condemne not honest playing for recreatiō at times conuenient for some small matter, as the persons habilitie is. But what a monstrous thing is it, to consume whole dayes, yea, whole daies and nights in gaming, swearing and foreswearing. For it hapneth often, [Page] a daily gamester, a common blasphemer. Wherefore it were no great hinderance to the common wealth, if such kinde of persons were vtterly banished.Riotousnesse and dronkēnesse. The third pestiferous wéed is banqueting, and riotousnesse. For dronkennesse, whiche commonly haunteth the ryotous persons, besides that, it wa [...]teth thy thrifte, consumeth thy friends, and corrupteth thy body doth also transforme thée from a reasonable creture,Socrates. to abrute beast. Socrates compareth the witte, that is ouercome wyth Wyne, vnto a horse that casteth his Maister. What greater reproch can there be to a man, than to be called a common dronkarde, which is as much to say, as a man depriued of all vertues. I could recite many examples, what discommodities haue chaunced to woorthye men by this vice, if the tyme woulde suffer mée. You haue yet day inough, quoth the Lady Iulia. Wherfore we praye you shewe vs some of those examples for our instruction. I am content, quoth Maister Pedro, and séeing you are so willing to heare, I will declare first somewhat of wyne, which by abuse nourished [Page] dronkennesse, and by vse is the best liquor of all others.Anacharsis Anacharsis the Philosopher sayde, that the Uyne bare thrée kindes of grapes, the first of pleasure, the seconde of drunkennesse, and the thirde of sorrowe, so that passing the first, which is to drinke it temperately, and delayed, the other two are naught. [...] Noe was the first that inuented Wyne, thoughe some attribute the same to Ycanus, and some to Dionysius. The first that delayed wine, was Fylona, [...] borne in Candia, and being so dronke temperately, it quickeneth the wit, it increaseth the strength, it chéereth the harte, it taketh away cares, it causeth colour in the face, it strengtheneth the sin [...]wes, it helpeth the sight, it fortifieth the stomacke, it prouoketh vrine, it taketh away sorrowes, and to conclude with S. Paule writing to Timothe, [...] being sicke in his stomacke, counsayleth him to drinke a little wine. But as many discommodities hath it also, [...] it be abused, as breeding the gow [...]e, causing the dropsie, decaying womens beauty, and making them barraine, [...] wyth many other much worse. Licurgus [Page] the Lacedemonian lawmaker, commaū ded, that no man before .xviij. yeares of age, shoulde drinke any wyne, and from thence to fortie he gaue leaue to drynke a verye little, and much delayed, and from fortie vpwardes somewhat more, and lesse delayed.Noe the first drunkarde. As Noe was the firste inuenter of wyne: so was hée first dronken, who was therefore laught to scorne of his owne sonnes. Lot Lot. in his drunkennesse lay with his owne daughters. Alexander Alexander the greate was so spotted wyth this vice, that alwayes in hys dronkennesse, he woulde kyll his déerest friends, and in the ende being dronke, was poysoned himselfe. Marcus Antonius, Marcus. Antonius. an inuincible Romain captayne, being once ouercome with Wyne, gaue himselfe to the pleasure of Cleopatra, and was slayne by Octauius Caesar. Anac [...]eon Anac [...]eon. the Poet was so great a bibber of wyne, that he was choked with ye huske of a grape. Loe, here you sée the vnhappie ende of those that passe the golden meane, and cleaue to the excesse. If the married man doe weede out these thre daungerous wéedes by the roote, no doubt this Flower [Page] will prosper passing well, and yéeld yerely double increase. And as I sayd before, the better to nourishe, and maintaine thys Flower, [...] there are certaine delicate herbes that must of force be cherished, which bée these. First to be aduised in spéeche, courteous, and gentle in conuersation, trusty and secret in that, wherein he is trusted, wise in giuing counsayle, carefull in prouiding for his house, dyligent in looking to that which is his, suffer able in the importunities of his wife, daungerous, and circumspect in matters touching his honesty and ieolous in the education of his Chyldren. These be excellent herbes, quoth the Lady Aloisa, and rarely founde all in one garden. Wherefore we pray you teach vs how we may plant, and conserue them.
That appertayneth not to my charge, quoth Mayster Pedro, and if it dyd, yet want of skill, and shortnesse of time would not permit me. But I will instruct you in their qualities, which being well considered, wyll proueke the wyse man to séeke after th [...]m. In doing whereof, as I shall sufficiently discharge my duetie towardes [Page] the Lady Iulia, concerning hir commaū demēt. So I trust to deserue great thanks of al these Ladies. The first delicate herbe 1 that the married man must plante for the preseruation of his frendly Flower, Aduised in speach. is to be aduised in spéeche. For the man that without discretion speaketh more hast [...]l [...]e than wisely, for the most parte falleth into errors, much bablyng, declareth a foolishe heade: and a silent person is the exampler of wisedome. First expende with thy selfe, what thou wylte speake, and ponder thy meanyng well. Then note to whome, where, & when thou speakest. The tongue that runneth before the witte, commonlye bréedeth hys Maisters woe. The Philosophers in their scholes, neuer taught a man to speake, but first learned h [...]m to holde his peace. Salomon saith, [...] that much talke cannot be without offence, and he that [...] refrayne hys tongue is wyse. Two [...] Socrates allowed, that shoulde [...] one to speake, when he [...] matter very well, and when necess [...]e [...] him. Xenoph [...]n sayeth, [...] that nature gaue vs two eares, and but one mouthe, [Page] to the intent we shoulde heare more than we ought to speake. The second herbe is to 2 be courteous,Courtise in conuersatiō. and gentle in conuers [...]on. For ye sée, that fierce, and hurtfull beasts, as the Lion, the Serpent, with such lyke, bée abhorred of vs for their cruell curstnesse, when the tractable beastes, as the spa [...]u [...]ll, and the grayhound, with others, haue not onelye place in our houses, but we haue sometyme more care to nourishe them vp, than a Christian creature. The married man then must not be rigorous towarde his wyfe. For there will discorde growe by hir inwarde hate, and neuer shall they haue ioy, or peace, if the woman cannot refrayne hir tongue, nor the man suffer. If he want discretion, and she pacience, it will rather appéere the mansion of fooles, than a house of y• wise. For at the last, except one of them yéelde vp in tyme, they wyll fall to raging, & so consequently to blowes. Women for the most part, are [...]roward of complexion, and tender of condition, whereto y• wise husband must haue great regarde, and if he once repr [...]hende them sharpelye, he must a hundreth folde [Page] exhorte them louingly. There are manye occasions, that causeth variance betweene man and wyfe, as for their children, seruants, apparell, and other such housholde matters. In which the good maried man must shewe his wysedome, eyther in turning it to sporte, & dissembling the cause, or aunswering not at all. If so bee he cannot suppresse his anger, let hym then goe and disgest it abroade. For the ende of indignation, is to be ashamed of our selues. And as in a miste a man appéereth greater than in a fayre day, sayeth Diogenes: Di [...]genes▪ so appeareth hys vy [...]s more in hys anger, and rage, than when he is pacient. The thirde is to be secrete, and trusty in 3 that, wherin he is trusted.To be s [...]cre [...] One of the vertues most estéemed in tymes past was secrecie, whereby the wisedome of a man was perfitely discerned. He is diserate that kéepeth well hys secretes, sayeth Socrates. [...] But he is not wise that dis [...]uereth them. [...]. The good Cato repented him but of thrée things that he did during all his lyfe. First, for disclosing a secrete to a woman, the seconde, for sayling by sea, when hee [Page] might haue gone by land, and the last, for consuming one whole day, without doyng some profitable déede. A marueylous example of secrecie,Anaxagoras. was shewed in Anaxagoras, who wyth other conspired to kyll a tyraunt, and being betrayed, and by the tyraunt put to most cruell tormentes, not sufferable, bit off his owne tongue, bicause he woulde not discouer that, which he promised to kéepe secret. The lyke is reported of a woman in Athens, bicause she would not bewraye a conspiracie, wherein hir husbande was a parte. It is happie, quoth the Ladie Aloisa, that some women haue bene secrete in tymes past. For you men say now a daies, that women can kepe no counsayle. Sée I pray you, quoth Maister Gualter, how soone this Lady had gotten holde of that sentence, whiche so little serueth hir purpose. For I trust it was an easy mater for that woman to kepe silence when shée wanted hir tongue. Whereto the Ladies woulde haue replied, but Ma [...] ster Pedro interrupted them, and sayde, that hée dyd not condemne, althoug he the most parte were not tongue tyed, and so [Page] there be, quoth he, some men that be open ynough. But I would haue thys married man to embrace secrecie as a vertue, and thynke it is a great shame not to be so secret as a woman. The fourth, is to be wise 4 in giuyng counsayle, [...] which is not euerye mans office, but such as be of good yeares, that haue séene, and heard much. Counsel [...]lers must bewise, lerned, vertuous, of good iudgement, & without affection. [...] [...] [Page] The office of the husbande is to bryng in necessaries: of the wife, well to kepe them. The office of the husband is, to go abroad in matters of profite: of the wyfe, to tarye at home, and sée all be well there. The office of the husbande is, to prouide money, of the wife, not wastfully to spend it. The office of the husbande is, to deale, and bargaine with all men, of the wife, to meddle or make wyth no man. The office of the husband is, to giue, of the wyfe, to keepe. The office of the husbande is, to apparell him as he can, of the wyfe, to goe as shée ought. The office of the husband is, to bée Lorde of all, of the wyfe, to giue accounte of all, and finally I saye, that the office of the husbande is, to mainetayne well hys liuelyhoode, and the office of the woman is, to gouerne well the housholde. And as the man may not deny his wyfe thinges, that muste be graunted of necessitie: so he ought not to graunt hir thinges of prodigalitie, & superfluous. For as great disorder is it to graunte the one, as to denye the other. The sixte is, that the married man accompany no defamed persons, and [Page] in any case that he harbour them not. For 6 many men blame their wyues for yll life,To accompa [...]y no def [...]d p [...]rs [...]ns. when they themselues are the causers therof, for maintaining such companions, whereby he himself doth hardly escape infam [...]e, and these good fellowes doe seeke to créepe into greatest friendlshippe with the husband, to the intent they may haue [...] ter oportunitie with hys wyfe. Yet maye he vse his tried friende or n [...]re kinsman familiarly, as well in his owne house, as else where, [...]auyng alwayes regarde to the olde sa [...]ing, that a man may sh [...]w [...] wyfe, and his sword to his friende, but not to farre to trust them. For if therby gr [...]w vnto him any infamie, let hym not blame his wyfe, but hys owne negligence. The seuenth herbe of marue [...]lous vertue is,7 to be sufferable in the i [...]portunities of his wyfe, [...] sometimes dissemblyng, and in t [...]ifling matters consentyng vnto [...]ir. For if all thinges that women craue, shoulde be graunted, all thinges that they finde fault withall, shoulde be amended, & all thinges that they are agrieued with, should be redressed, Sampsons strength, the patience [Page] of Iob, and the wysedome of Salomon were all to little. For some men, whose misshaps are to be lamented, are matched with such sainctes, that deuise naught else, but howe to vexe, and molest their husbands.Socrates. Socrates pittied thrée sorts of men. The first was, a good man in the handes of a curst shrewe, the seconde a wise man, vnder the gouernaunce of a foole, and the last was a liberall man in subiection to a couetous caytife. I thanke you for this, quoth Mai [...]ter Gualter, this is the truest tale you tolde to daye, and hitherto, you haue but flattered these Ladies. Not so, quoth master Pedro. For I spake nothing heretofore but the truth, neyther speake I this nowe generally agaynst all women. For that were slaunderous vnto them. I do but touch some shrewde wyues. Tush, quoth maister Gualter, they be shrewes all, and if you giue the simplest of them leaue to daye to treade vpon your f [...]te, to mo [...]row she will treade vpon thy head. Be not angrye, I praye you, quoth Maister Pedro. For I giue no such leaue, but I say that for quietnesse sake, & for the increase [Page] of amitie, the maried man must sometime dissemble, and in this case ought to consider, that if his wife be foolish, it little helpeth to aunswere hir, and lesse profiteth to reforme hir, but if she be wyse, one worde will suffice. For it is a certaine rule, that if a woman will not be still with one word of hir husbande, she will not be quiet with as manye wordes as euer the wysemen did write, nor with so many stripes, as a man is able to gyue hir. The wyse husbande therefore I say, and affirme, must, to preserue this pleasaunt Flower, deale with his wyfe, rather by subtilitie, than by crueltie. The eyght is to be circumspect in 8 matters that concerne his honestie, [...] [...] and not to be ieolous of his wyfe. The Stoike Philosophers saye, that ielousie is a certayne care of mans mynde, least another shoulde possesse the thing, which he alone woulde enioye. There is no greater torment, than the vexation of a iealous mind which euen as the moth fretteth the cloth, doth consume the hart, that is vexed therewith. Two kinde of persons are commonlye [...]ore sicke in this disease, eyther those [Page] that are euill themselues, or they that in their youth haue gone astraye, supposing that as other mens wyues haue done towardes them, so will theirs doe towardes others, which is vanitie to thynke, more follye to suspecte, and greatest foolishnesse to speake of. For as some lewde women be dissolute: so likewise women there be, honest, and very circumspect. If the wise be to be suspected, let the man worke as secretly and closely as he can, to reprehend hir, yet all peraduenture will not aduaile. For, trust me, no wisdome, no craft, no science, no strength, no subtiltie, yea, no pacience sufficeth to enforce a woman, to be true to hir husbande, if she otherwise determine. Therefore to conclude to be ieolous, eyther néedeth not, or booteth not. The ninth, and laste herbe, is to be carefull 9 in the education of hys children. For much better were they vnborne than vntaught.To be carefull in education of his children. Diogenes being enquired what were best for a man to doe to be in fauour of the Gods, and beloued of the people, answered, that to be in the credit with the people and fauourd of the Gods, a man ought to [Page] do thrée things, the first to reuerence, and honor much the Gods, then to bryng vppe hys children in due correction, and last to be thankefull to his benefactors. What a [...]aileth riches, possessions, to be fortunate, to haue thy wyfe wyth chylde safely delyuered, & thy childe well nourished, if afterwardes by ill trayning, & for want of education he become vicious? The monarch of Macedon Philippes Sonne,Alexander being asked why he honoured more hys mayster, than his father, said, that his maister gaue him lyfe euerlastyng, and his Father lyfe but for a time. There came once before the wyse Solon a Father with his sonne, one accusing the other, the father complayned of the disobedience of his Sonne, and the sonne accused the father of his ill bringing vppe, which was the cause of his disobedience,Solon▪ Solon well considering the case, determined that bicause the Father had not brought vp his sonne in due correction, hée should therefore after his death, be depri [...]ed of his sepulchre, which was very rigorous in those dayes, and the sonne for hys disobedience was disherited. I assure you, [Page] quoth Maister Lodouic, that same was an excellent iudgement of the wise Solon, and if it were put in vre at these dayes, there would be many fathers to lye without graues, and as many sonnes put from their inheritance. The more pittie, quoth maister Pedro, and I thoughte to haue sayde more therein. But the sunne is so much declined, that it is more than tyme to vnburden these Ladies of this tedious talke, and I feare me, I haue alreadye troubled them to long. Not so, quoth the Ladye [...]. For sooner should we wante the day light, than good will to heare you; though the day were so long againe. You s [...]y your pleasure, quoth Maister Pedro, [...]ut nowe to knit vp this Flower of matrimoniall amitie, and friendshippe, touching the office of the man, I saye, that he must aboue all thynges haue the feare of God before hys eyes, which with the rest well considered, and put in execution, no doubt he shall enioye the fragrant sauour thereof. Then rose vp the Ladye Iulia, with the whole cōpany, giuing my friend m [...]yster Pedro greate thankes, wishyng [Page] that there were many such husbands, and therewith she tooke the garlande from hir head, and sayd, turning hir towards mayster Pedro, that she would surrender vnto him agayne the authoritie which shee of him receyued wyth that charge, that he shoulde the next daye bestowe it on some other in that place. For I shall not bée in quiet, quoth shée, till I haue hearde the married woman prescribed in lyke sorte, as you haue done the maried man, neyther can this Flower well prosper, or bée perfite, except the woman also put to hir helping hande. Whereto mayster Pedro aunswered, that in the woman was to be required great helpe for the preseruation of this friendlye Flower. Yet will I not, quoth hee, take the authoritie from you. But if you list to departe wyth it to some other, you shall your selfe to morrowe resigne it to whome it pleaseth you, and in the meane time he willed hir to leaue the garlande, and hir authoritie in the place, where shée receyued it, which she did, and then went we out of that most pleasaunt arbour into the Garden, where we tooke [Page] our leaue of the Ladies and gentlemen, who were very loth to haue left our company. But maister Pedro had so apointed, that we coulde not tary. Therfore promising to come againe the next day, we went home the same daye wée came in the morning, where the Nightingale saluted vs with such swéete melodie, that wée were at the ende of our iourney before wée were ware.