A briefe and plea­sant discourse of du­ties in Mariage, called the Flower of Friend­shippe.

Imprinted at London by Henrie Denham, dwelling in Pa­ter noster Rowe, at the Signe of the Starre. Anno. 1571.

Cum Priuilegio.

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¶To the Noble and most Uertuous Princesse Eli­zabeth, by the grace of God, of Englande, Fraunce, and Ire­lande Que [...]ne, de [...]ender of the Fayth. &c. Be long [...]y [...]e. quiet raig [...] and per [...] health.

WHEN I CON­sider, most noble Queene & Soue­raigne that with­in your Maiesties sacred brest, wise­dome, adourned with Noble ver­tues, is only harbored. From whence as from a pure Fountaine, doth flow, the deedes of a Noble hart, waying there­withall your Maiesties highe dignitie, and the lownesse of my estate, with my simple skill: I stoode as one dismayde, not daring to aduenture to put thys my base style to the hearing eyther of your maiesties reuerent eares, or to the [Page] iudgement of your skilfull eyes: so well otherwise, with the learned labors of more excellent authors satisfied. Yet daylye perceyuing the clemencie of your highnesse most noble minde con­ioyned with so high an estate of Soue­raignetie, and noting your princ [...] lye curtesie, and as it were, a heauenly hu­militie matched with the great know­ledge, graffed in the roote of your ma­iesties royall hart, I was by this, though before discouraged, boldened to pre­sume so farre, as humblye to offer this my simple present vnto your High­nesse, expressing my good wyll, which of my fruitlesse Garden, and barren soyle haue founde oute this fragrant Flower of Friendship crauing the only accepting of the same, no otherwyse, than that Noble Alexander of Macedon, Alexander who greatly estemed the poore Poëme giuen him by the philosopher Pirrho, or Antoninus the Emperor,Antoninus. that cōside­ring the giuers good will, highly regar­ded a fewe simple Meters offered vnto him. Wherfore, redoubted Soueraigne [Page] [...] noble Alexander, my hope is, for that in the person of your Maiestie, are as­sembled the rare vertues, not onely of those Princes, but of many others, you will amongest the Noble presentes of more higher estate, receyue these fewe simple lines, as from him that con­tinuallye prayeth for the long and prosperous continu­ance of your Maie­sties happye raigne.

Your Maiesties most humble Subiect, Edmonde Tilnay.

¶A briefe and pleasaunt discourse of duties in Mariage.

WHAT TIME that Flora had clothed the [...]arth and braunchesse of the new sprin­ging trées, with leaues of liuelye grene and being as it were in the prime of his de­lightes, had garnished the pleasant fields a newe with fragrant flowers, early on a morning when Phoebus also had spreade abrode his blisfull rayes, and comfortable beames, I with a friende of mine, called Maister Pedro di luxan, deuised how to enioye some part▪ of that delightfull sea­son, and in the ende concluded to walke, and range abrode in the fieldes, and plea­sant Groues, where we were not onelye pertakers with y swéete recording birdes, in the woonderfull workes of the almigh­tie: [Page] but were thereby also occasioned, to glorifie the Creator thereof. Thus consu­ming the time, tyll it was néere Noone, and when the Sunne began to waxe som­what warme, we determined to go from thence, vnto a worthy Ladies house there­by called the Lady Iulia, where we might rest vs the heate of the day, and as it chaū ced, we came in very good time. For euen as we entred the Ladies house, they had newly washed, & were ready to sit downe to dinner, where we founde a ioyfull com­panie assembled togithers, both Ladies, and Gentlemen, amongst the which, was Madame Iulias daughter, called the Lady Isabella a very faire gentle womā. There was also y Lady Aloisa with many other Ladies, and their lincked Mates, beside M. Lodouic Viues, and an olde Gentle­man called M. Erasmus, of whome after we had taken acquaintance, and vsed such courtesie as the time, & place required, we sate all downe orderly to dinner, where there was such exceding chéere, such plea­saunt talke, such melodie, and such swéete chéering of y Ladies, that it was a worlde [Page] to sée how mery we were. And being thus in our pleasures, y Lady Iulia deuised wt the company in what pastimes we should spende the after noone. Some lyked well of carding, and dicing, some of dauncing, and other some of Chestes, al which were condemned by the most parte, who allea­ged that those Pastimes were not aun­swerable to the tyme of the yeare, but more méete for Christmas: and therefore such game were fittest, that might be vsed abroade in the fields, as bowling, shooting and such other like. But M. Pedro nothing at all lyking of such deuises, wherein the Ladies should be left out, said y he wel re­membred how Boccace & Countie Balti­zar with others recoūted many porper de­uises for exercise, both pleasant, & profita­ble, which quoth he, were vsed in y courts of Italie, and some much like to them, are practised at this day in the English court, wherein is not onely delectable, but plea­sure ioyned wyth profite, and exercyse of the witte. With that all the whole assem­blie, both Ladies, and Gentlemen, desired him, for that they were vnskilfull in those [Page] deuises, he woulde put some one of them in [...], which he best lyked off, and they all woulde be obedient to his determination. At the first he vtterly refused it, but in the ende at their often intreaties,Maister Pedro [...] the pastime. he aunswe­red, that he would doe his diligence. So in haste the table was taken awaye, and the companye hauing washed, the Ladyes wythdrewe them for a whyle into their Chambers, at whose returne we went al into the Garden, a place marueylous de­lectable (wherein was a passing faire ar­bour,The des­cription of the Arbor. at the entrance wherof, on eche side sprong vppe two pleasaunt trées, whose gréene leaues much delighted our eyes, and were supported wyth two statelye Pillers, curiously painted with diuers de­uises. All the whole arbour aboue ouer our heades, and on eche side was powdred with sundrie flowers, and wreathed about with the swéete Bryer or Eglantine, be­tweene the braunches whereof the chéere­full Sunne layde in his beames, here and there, so that the heate did not molest vs, n [...]ther did the Sunne want to chéere vs. [...] shall I saye? It might be called a [Page] terrestrial paradise. And when the whole companie were orderly marshalled by M. Pedro on the benches, which were trimly set with Camamile, and Das [...]s, he ga­thered from the top of the Arbour, thrée, or foure braunches of Roses w [...]h their greene leaues, whereof he wreathed a Garlande, and demaunded of the whole company, if they woulde consent to his e­lection, and obey whome so [...]r [...] dyd choose for their Soueraigne, whereto they all aunswered that they woulde. And then turning towardes the Lady Iulia, The Ladie Iulia chos [...]n Soueraigne. sayde that he in the name of them all, for sun­drye respects presented vnto hir, that gar­land, and therewith the soueraigntie ouer them for that day. And when he bad set y same vpon hir head, said that whereas they had willed him to deuise their pastime, he thought it best, the company being so apt for that purpose, they should by course ey­ther rehearse some pleasaunt stories, or de­bate vpon some such matter as the Ladie Iulia their soueraigne should commaund. And my opinion is, quoth he, forasmuch [...] euery thing sheweth nowe a certayne [Page] naturall amitie amongst themselues, yea the trées,Plinie. sayth Plinie, hath a naturall instinct of friendship, the swéete flowers, the pleasaunt herbes, declares the same also, that we intreate somewhat of friend­ship, and bycause no friendship, or amitie is, or ought to be more déere, and surer, than the loue of man and wife, let this treatise be thereof, wherein I woulde the duetie of the married man to be described. For the knowledge of duetie is the main­tenaunce of friendship. All the company commended Maister Pedro for his plea­sant deuise, & the Lady Iulia standing vp said, that forsomuch, as the souer aigntie, thought not wyth hir wyll, was commit­ted vnto hir with consent of them all, and due obedience promised, I like well quoth shée, of thys which Maister Pedro hath alreadie deuised, touching friendship, and duetie of the maried man. Wherefore by the same authoritie, which I haue recey­ued, I commaunde you Sir, and turned hir towardes Maister Pedro, to performe this charge, which you haue deuised of the maried man, not for that I thinke you to [Page] be a better husbande,Maister Pedro is commaun­ded to des­cribe the maried m [...] that any of the reast here. But bicause we being yet wholy ig­noraunt in this kinde of pastymes, you may as the principall author thereof, in­struct vs in the whole circumstance: and agayne, being so well languaged, as you are, we shall haue good sporte, to heare you interlarde our Countrie spéeche with some Spanish trickes. As I doe, quoth Maister Pedro, vtterly denie to be the au­thor of these pastimes, which haue long a­go bene else where practised: so might I right well excuse my selfe, both for want of skill, and also of good vtteraunce. But for that I haue in the name of all the rest, promised obedience vnto your L, I wyll not be the first that shall disobey. Where­fore worthie Ladies, and Gentle women, quoth he, if I doubted of your friendlye iudgement, and beneuolence, I woulde craue it at the beginning, but bicause your good hearts and noble natures,Maister Pedro be­ginneth this Flower of Friendship. haue bene by proofe sufficientlye tryed of me, letting that passe, I will goe briefly to my charge the Flower of Friendship, wherein I will first declare vnto you, the vertues of [Page] the matrimoniall estate, which, (setting virgmitie aside,The com­mend [...]tion of mariage. as the purest estate, is both holy and most necessary. It is not vn­knowne vnto vs Christians, howe God the Creator of all thinges, made of the rib of Adam his welbeloued Eua, as an hel­per, whō Adam called bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh,Gene [...]s. 2. so that the almightie instituted this holye ordinaunce of matri­monie in the bliss [...]full place of Paradice, when man was in his chiefest perfection: and therefore, if antiquitie may giue any worthynesse, what is more auncient than this honorable estate, which God himselfe the founder of all ordayned and consecra­ted? What is more honorable, and praise worthie, than this, that Christ wyth his mother in Canaan did not onely with his presence make honorable, but also wyth miracles did sanctifie the same? What is more iust, than to render that to our po­steritie, which we of our predecessors haue before rec [...]yued? What thing is more in­humaine, than for man to contemne that as prophane, which the eternall hath halo­wed, and nature hir selfe bewtified? christ [Page] our Lorde commaundeth that man shall forsake Father and Mother, and cleaue to his welbeloued spouse, and what is more holy, than loue towardes parents, which GOD in the commaundements hath re­warded with the longnesse of lyfe, yet ma­trimony is preserred before y same, what is then more necessarie than Matrimony which containeth the felicity of mans life, the Flower of Friendship, y preseruation of Realnies, the glorie of Princes, & that which is most of all, it causeth immorta­litie. I might here alleage a nūber of au­thorities in the commendation of mariage aswell of auncient Doctors and Fathers, as also worthie Philosophers, and graue learned men. But bycause you doubt not therin, and the state doth sufficiently com­mende it selfe, I let them passe, and will before I procéede any further,The rites of diuers na­ti [...]ns in marying. shew you y rytes of diuers Nations, in celebrating this misterie, whereof as some will make you to laugh so other some are to be noted. As for the christian orders they are not vnknowne vnto you.The Ro­maines. Amongst the auncient Romaines, as Cicero recordeth, were [Page] two kindes of mariages, wherby they had also two sortes of wyues, the one more or­dinarye, whom they called Matrons, the other were called houswyfes, which were married by conioyning of handes, almost like vnto vs. These dyd they estéeme as their daughters, and had like enheritance of their landes, who bare the rule of their houses, and therefore called houswyfes. But no excesse of y husband might be per­mitted vnto them. For on the Matrons began they their children.The Babi­lonians. The Babilo­nians maried their maides without dow­ries in this maner. All their maids, which were to be married, were assembled in a place appoynted, and placed orderlye the fayrest first, then the meaner sort, and last the fowlest. The fayrest was gyuen vnto him that would giue most money to mar­rie with hir, still paying according to their bewtie, more or lesse, till they came to the fowlest, & to them, that woulde mary any of those, was gyuen parte of the money, that was taken for the fayrer sort, paying according to the rate, as they excéeded in foulenesse. The like maner also, was vsed [Page] amongst the auncient Venetians, The Vene­tians. as say­eth Sabellicus, an vnhappye custome was it, quoth the Lady Iulia, & likely that the Flower of Friendship was but weak lye rooted betwéene them of so slender ac­quaintance: But I pray you tell vs, how the indifferent sorte were maried, that were neyther foule, nor fayre, but louely browne. Mary quoth he, for such amongst the Venetians there was no money either gyuen, or taken, but were maryed for naught. And so perchaunce, quoth a mery gentleman, that stoode by, called maister Gualter of Cawne, were some of the fai­rest, as they be sometimes nowe a dayes. I haue also redde, quoth Maister Pedro, that in Fraunce,The French men. the Maydens did choose their husbandes in this sorte. The parents calldd a number of young men to a banket whō they thought fittest, & him, to whome the Mayde gaue first water, by that signe she chose for hir husband. In Mauritania, The Mau­ritanians. as sayeth Diodorus Siculus, there was such store of women, y euery man might haue fiue wyfes, and no lesse than thrée, which also after y death of their husbands [Page] within one moneth eyther willinglye bu­ried themselues wyth him, or were per­force executed by the lawe. In the Isles of Canaria, In the Isles of Canaria. there were contrariwise so ma­ny men, and so fewe women, that euerye wife might haue seauen husbands, & could not take lesse than fiue. But I trust, quoth the Lady Aloisa, that those men were not so kinde harted, as to be buried with their wyues, as the woman in that other coun­trie were with their husbandes. I thinke not quoth Mayster Pedro, and I doubt whether those women of Mauritania, coulde not haue béene contented to haue taried behinde their husbandes, had there béene no lawe to haue compelled them. Tush quoth the Lady Iulia, this is farre frō your matter. What appertaineth this to the Flower of Friendship? lady quoth he, I am not yet come to my purpose. But one word more, and I will to my charge. The Chaldeans, The Chal­deans. that honored the fire for their God, had an easie custome: for when they minded to marrie, the Priest kindled the fire in the good mans house, and both the parties touching it, were assured to­gither, [Page] and when any of them mislyked, one of them quenched the fire, and so were they as frée, as euer they were before. In another Countrie the Priest of their I­dols enioyed the first nightes pleasures of the Bride,The Scots. as in Scotland the Lorde of the Soyle, hath the first fruites of all the Uirgins, wythin his Lordeship. A num­ber of such lyke customes I coulde recite, but I may not spende longer time in those trifles,What e­qualitie is in mariage. & the Ladie Iulia desireth to heare of our friendly Flower, whereto nowe I returne, and saye, that equalitie is prin­cipally to be considered in this matrimo­niall amytie, as well of yeares, as of the giftes of nature and fortune.Pitachus Myteleneus. For equal­nesse herein maketh friendlynesse Pyta­chus Myteleneus one of the seauen sages of Greece, being demaunded of a yong man, whome he should take to wyfe, aun­swered, go and learne of the children, that play togither, and they will informe thée. For they had agame among them, wher­in they often repeated, take to thee thy peere. Marry not a superiour, sayth Plu­tarch. Plutarch. For in so doing, in stéede of kinse­folkes, [Page] thou shalt get thée maysters, in whose awe thou must stande, and a riche womā, that marieth a poore man, seldome, or neuer, shake off y pride from hir shoul­ders. Yea,Menander. Menander sayth, that such a man hath gotten in stéede of a wyfe a hus­band, and she of him a wyfe, a straunge al­teration, a wonderfnll metamorphosis. But Licurgus the law maker well consi­dered that,Licurgus. when he ordained that women shoulde be married without dowries, so that then they had nothing to be prowde off, saue onely their vertues, which ought to be accounted y chiefest dowrie. For that which is more excellent, is to be preferred before things of lower valour. Why then for lack of substance, shall a vertuous wife be repelled,Alexander▪ or for want of wealth, wise­dome be reiected? Alexander, the great Monarch of the whole worlde, shewed his noble courage in nothing more, than in that hée reiecting the riche Barbarian Quéenes, vouchsafed to match with Bar­cina, daughter of Arbaces, a poore gen­tleman, but of noble parentage, wherein not riches, but nobilitie adorned with ver­tues [Page] preuayled. Well quoth the Ladie Iulia, I pray you what is he now a dayes that had not rather marie a woman ful of money, wanting vertue & grace, than that hauing vertues, lacketh money. For my parte, it well lyketh me that equalitie, as you say, be obserued, seing equalnesse cau­seth friendlynesse. But I vnderstande not this kinde of equalitie, wherein you séeme to allow the greatest inequalitie yt can be. For Alexander being Lorde of the whole worlde coulde finde no equall match, in respect of his greatnesse. Much lesse Bar­cina that was so farre his inferiour, both in parentage, and substance. Not so farre his inferiour, quoth Maister Pedro, for the great vertues which abounded in Bar­cina, and as I sayde before, the onely ry­chesse to be required in a woman, was in al respects comparable to the great great­nesse of Alexander the great, neyther did she want sufficient parentage, & though not a conquerour of the worlde, yet well knowne to be procéeded from the conque­rours own linage, so that a vertuous wo­man being wise, and of good lynage, wan­teth [Page] no equalitie on hir parte to counter­peyse the greatest ryches or treasure, that any man can haue. For where vertue a­boundeth, all good things doe flowe. And to conclude, I say that great regard ought the man to haue in his choyse, that he may leaue hys childe parentage, which being ioyned to vertues, maketh men perfite. Now for y equalitie in age, I say cōfisteth likewise in the equalitie of yeares, but not so much as the Philosophers, in times past affirmed. For Aristotle by his rea­sons, woulde haue the man to be twentie yeares elder than his wife, bycause they might leaue off procreation at one tyme. Hesiodus the Gréeke Poet, & Xenophon the philosopher woulde haue the woman fourtene, and the man thirtie yeares olde, so that there shoulde be sixtéene yeares be­twéene them, bicause in that time, the man shoulde be best able to rule his housholde, and the woman taken from euill occasi­ons. Licurgus lawe was amongest the Lacedemonians, Licurgus. that the man shoulde not marry, before thirtie and seauen yeres of age, and women at eightene. What [Page] maner of equalitie is this, quoth the Lady Isabella, I woulde neuer marry, rather than to take such olde crusts, whose wiues are more occupied in playstering, than in enioying any good conuersation. You say truth, quoth Maister Pedro, neyther doe I allowe it, yet may I not condemne the auncient philosophers. For in those daies men liued longer, and their natures were much stronger. Therfore by likelyhoode it was at that time more tollerable. But my opinion is, that they differ not aboue foure or fiue yeares. After this match made, and equalities considered, next foloweth, to loue, & to lyke well: For perfite loue knit­teth louinge heartes,What loue in mariage shoulde be. in an in insoluble knot of amitie. Loue indifferent serueth not, loue fayned prospereth not. Where­fore it must be true, and perfite loue, that maketh the Flower of Friendship be­twéene man and wyfe freshlye to spring. This loue must growe by little and little, and that it may be durable, must by de­grées take roote in the hart. For hasty loue is soone gone. And some haue loued in post hast, that afterwards haue repented them [Page] at leysure. Wée all séeke the fayrest, the richest, and noblest. But vertues are laide aside, and naught accounted off, we seeke so feede our eyes, and not to content our eares. Why? quoth Maister Gualter, shal a man choose his wyfe with his eares. To choose with our eares, quoth Maister Pe­dro, is to inquire of hir vertues, & vyces by reporte whereof you shall vnderstande hir conditions, and qualities, good, & badde. As for that, quoth Gualter, it booteth not. For the best of them all hane their faults. And if she be vertuous, shée wyll looke to be so honored, that hir husbande shall haue the more a do to please hir. And I remem­ber, that a wyse man, I knowe not hys name, being enquired of a friende of his, with whom he shoulde marry, aunswered that hée hadde béene married foure sundry times, first with a faire woman, who was so prowde of hir beautie, that he was faine to please and content hir, least she shoulde dishonour him, the seconde verye riche, whose substance made hir so statelye, that he was forced lyke a slaue to obey hir, the thirde was so vertuous, that he was glad [Page] to honor, and reuerence hir, to kéepe hir still in hir vertuous goodnesse, the last was of good lynage, which so exalted hir sto­macke, that shée made him hir bondman. Nowe choose, quoth hée, which of these foure thou canst best content thy selfe. You haue made a fayre reason quoth the Lady Aloisa, I neuer knewe that you were so déepelye learned before and all the Ladies woulde haue driuen Maister Gualter out of the Arbor▪ But father Erasmus sayde that he remembred the lyke thinge of A­naxagoras, and therefore hée was not to be blamed, bycause he did but repete the wordes of a Philosopher. What then, quoth Maister Pedro, it is no parte of my charge to disprayse women, but to speake the best of them, and to plant the Flower of Friendship betwéene them, and their husbands. Wherfore, let loue be rooted déepely in the mans heart towardes the woman: Let the person be sought, not hir substaunce, craue hir vertues, not hir riches, then shall there be a ioyfull begin­ning, and a blessed continuance in amity, by which all things shall prosper, & come [Page] to happie ende. Beware of hatred, be cir­cumspect in loue, which of them first ta­keth place, doth abide during lyfe. And loue grounded remaineth for euer, which being once gone, al other goodnesse folow­eth for companye.The man must be­ware in chyding when he is newly ma­ried. Therefore to confirme this loue y married man must as much as he can, alwayes abstaine from brawling, lowring and grudging, especiallye, when he is newly married. For if the wyfe first conceyue hate, she will neuer receyue loue againe. The husband then must be mery, and pleasaunt with his wyfe, to make hir the more in loue wyth him at the begin­ning, so that if afterwardes they chaunce to fall at square, it shall ryse but of a so­dayne anger, which will be gone againe as soone, and not of anye olde conceyued malice. There be manye men that boast much, how they be serued, and feared, like Bugges, of their wyues, but they mar­ueylously deceyue themselues. For much better were it, if they were better beloued and lesse feared. For whome the wyfe ha­teth, in feare she serueth, but whome shée loueth, shée gladly cherisheth. It is good [Page] reason, that all women doe labor to stande in the good grace of their husbandes, but much more ought wée men to foresée, that we fall not into the hatred of our wyfes. For if she once fasten hir eyes on another he shall enioy hir in dispite of hir husbands beard. In this long and troublesome iour­ney of matrimonye, the wise man maye not be contented onely with the Spouses virginitie,The maried man steale away his wyues pri­uate will. but by little and lyttle must gently procure that he maye also steale a­way hir priuat will, and appetite, so that of two bodies there may be made one one­lye heart, which shée will soone doe, if loue raygne in hir, and without this agréeable concorde, matrimonie hath but small plea­sure, or none at all, and the man, that is not lyked, and loued of his mate, holdeth his lyfe in continuall perill, his goodes in great ieoperdie, his good name in suspect, and his whole house in vtter perdition. I will recite two, or thrée examples of those that loued their wyues well,Such as lo­ued well their wiues. Adam. and then I will procéede. The first that loued hys wyfe, was our father Adam, who being set in Paradice, and forbidden on paine of [Page] death, one onelye trée in the Garden, to consent and please Eua his wyfe, did not­withstanding eate of it, and dyed. Darius the great King,Darius. being ouercome by Alex­ander, in all things shewed himselfe stout and inuincible, till he vnderstoode that his wyfe was taken prisoner, who then pou­red oute of his teares aboundantly, as la­menting for that which he more estéemed than his lyfe,Tiberius Gracchus. or estimation. Valerius Maximus saith, that Tiberius Gracchus finding two Serpents in his bed, sent for the soothsayers to knowe what y straunge chaunce ment, and signified, which aun­swered, that if he killed the male serpent, bée shoulde dye before his wyfe, but if the female were first slayne, his wyfe shoulde die before him. He bearing entire loue to­wardes his wyfe, gaue his owne death to prolong hir life, and killed presently the Male serpent. There be, quoth the Ladie Iulia, fewe such [...]sbandes in these our dayes, or rather none at all. That is the matter quoth Maister Gualter, that your Ladiship is so a fearde to marry, but yet to tell the truth, and shame the Deuill, there [Page] be mo suche husbandes, than lyke wyfes if it were well tryed. This [...] foole, quoth Madame Aloisa, woulde be well beaten, and banished our companie. For he is still pratling against women, and interrupt [...]th our pastime. No, no, quoth Maister Pedro, hée increaseth our sporte, and therefore we cannot well want him. But I will shewe you one example more of later yeares, bycause the Ladye Iulia sayeth that none nowe a dayes doe loue their wyfes so well. Baptista Fulgosa re­counteth of a certayne poore man,Baptista Fulgosa. and hys wyfe, that were seeking for their suste­nance vpon the Sea side. The woman be­ing taken awaye, by certaine Rouers, hir husbande swam in the Sea after hir, desi­ring the Pirates to take him also, saying, that he had rather be with his wife in cap­tiu [...]tie, than lacking hir, to liue at lyber­tie, whereat the Pirates marueiling, re­ceyued them both into their Shippe, and declaring the whole aduenture, presented them to the King of Lunis, who vnder­standing the case, gaue them great com­mendation, and not onely set them at ly­bertie, [Page] but also sente them home wyth great rewarde.

This maye satisfie to make you vnder­stand, that men doe sometimes loue their wyues, & hereby may you also sée of what force the true matrimoniall loue is, wher­on let the maried man fasten, and ground all the rest of his doings, and so shall t [...]ys friendly Flower be planted in a fertile soyle. And as there be certayne sweete herbes, that are great nourishers of this Flower: Weedes that will ouergrow the friend­ly Flower. so there be certayne poysoned wéedes, that will ouergrowe it, and in the ende vtterly destroye it, if they be not wéeded out by the roote, whereof the first and chiefest is adulterie. For what god­lynesse can raygne in that house,Adultery. where harlots beare the rule, whose fruits Salo­mon doth greatly describe. For if the hus­band please the wicked woman, he must of force displease hys owne wyfe being godlye, and that iniurie a good woman cannot with anye pacience support. At what time the married man determineth to kéepe a harlot, euen the same houre, doth he set fire to his honestie, destruction [Page] to his house, and losse of all, that euer he hath. An honest woman wyll suffer a thousand discommodities in hir husband, so that she be assured, that he is contented with hir, and loueth hir only. What grea­ter crueltie can a man shew vnto his wife, than to kéepe all his raylings, brawlings, and chidings for hir, and another to enioy all his (good) conuersation, and pleasures. I doubte which of them hath the greater hart, either he in doing it, or she in suffring it. Can there be any greater disorder, than for the husbande to be merie abrode, and lowre at home, to take from hys wyfe, and gyue to his harlots, to want for his childrē, and to suffice for his bawdes. The fayth that the woman oweth to hir hus­bande, the like [...]fidelitie ought the man to repaye vnto his wyfe, and though the ci­uill lawe gyueth man the superioritie ouer his wife, that is not to offende, or dispraise hir, but in misdoing louingly to reforme hir. Therefore the abhorring of adulterie increaseth amitie betwene man, and wife, and the chiefest way to ground the Flower of Friendship in matrimonie is, first to [Page] roote out the poyson of adulterie. The se­co [...]de wéede that is to be ex [...]irped is gam­nin [...],G [...]ing. which though the woman can with more pacience suffer, than this others: yet for his owne sake, let him forbeare it. For what wisedome is it, that a man at one chance of the Dice, hasardeth as much, as the toyle of his whole lyfe hath gottten, and scrapte togither, and small commodi­tie the gamester reapeth thereby, when he hath best hap, if all his cardes be tolde. For suppose hée wynne, yet is there such cur­sing, such lying, such brawling, chyding, and swearing, that the Deuill laugh­eth, them all to scorne. If he lose, he fret­teth, and fumeth so, that beside the losse of his thrift, he hazardeth both body & soule, with cursing, and blaspheming. Then if he eyther wynne, or lose, yée sée these his gaines and commodities. I condemne not honest playing for recreatiō at times con­uenient for some small matter, as the per­sons habilitie is. But what a monstrous thing is it, to consume whole dayes, yea, whole daies and nights in gaming, swea­ring and foreswearing. For it hapneth of­ten, [Page] a daily gamester, a common blasphe­mer. Wherefore it were no great hinde­rance to the common wealth, if such kinde of persons were vtterly banished.Riotous­nesse and dronkēnesse. The third pestiferous wéed is banqueting, and riotousnesse. For dronkennesse, whiche commonly haunteth the ryotous persons, besides that, it wa [...]teth thy thrifte, consu­meth thy friends, and corrupteth thy body doth also transforme thée from a reasona­ble creture,Socrates. to abrute beast. Socrates com­pareth the witte, that is ouercome wyth Wyne, vnto a horse that casteth his Mai­ster. What greater reproch can there be to a man, than to be called a common dron­karde, which is as much to say, as a man depriued of all vertues. I could recite ma­ny examples, what discommodities haue chaunced to woorthye men by this vice, if the tyme woulde suffer mée. You haue yet day inough, quoth the Lady Iulia. Wher­fore we praye you shewe vs some of those examples for our instruction. I am con­tent, quoth Maister Pedro, and séeing you are so willing to heare, I will declare first somewhat of wyne, which by abuse nou­rished [Page] dronkennesse, and by vse is the best liquor of all others.Anacharsis Anacharsis the Phi­losopher sayde, that the Uyne bare thrée kindes of grapes, the first of pleasure, the seconde of drunkennesse, and the thirde of sorrowe, so that passing the first, which is to drinke it temperately, and delayed, the other two are naught. [...] Noe was the first that inuented Wyne, thoughe some at­tribute the same to Ycanus, and some to Dionysius. The first that delayed wine, was Fylona, [...] borne in Candia, and being so dronke temperately, it quickeneth the wit, it increaseth the strength, it chéereth the harte, it taketh away cares, it causeth colour in the face, it strengtheneth the sin [...]wes, it helpeth the sight, it fortifieth the stomacke, it prouoketh vrine, it taketh away sorrowes, and to conclude with S. Paule writing to Timothe, [...] being sicke in his stomacke, counsayleth him to drinke a little wine. But as many discommodities hath it also, [...] it be abused, as breeding the gow [...]e, causing the dropsie, decaying wo­mens beauty, and making them barraine, [...] wyth many other much worse. Licurgus [Page] the Lacedemonian lawmaker, commaū ­ded, that no man before .xviij. yeares of age, shoulde drinke any wyne, and from thence to fortie he gaue leaue to drynke a verye little, and much delayed, and from fortie vpwardes somewhat more, and lesse delayed.Noe the first drunkarde. As Noe was the firste in­uenter of wyne: so was hée first dronken, who was therefore laught to scorne of his owne sonnes. Lot Lot. in his drunkennesse lay with his owne daughters. Alexander Alexander the greate was so spotted wyth this vice, that alwayes in hys dronkennesse, he woulde kyll his déerest friends, and in the ende be­ing dronke, was poysoned himselfe. Mar­cus Antonius, Marcus. Antonius. an inuincible Romain cap­tayne, being once ouercome with Wyne, gaue himselfe to the pleasure of Cleopa­tra, and was slayne by Octauius Caesar. Anac [...]eon Anac [...]eon. the Poet was so great a bibber of wyne, that he was choked with ye huske of a grape. Loe, here you sée the vnhappie ende of those that passe the golden meane, and cleaue to the excesse. If the married man doe weede out these thre daungerous wéedes by the roote, no doubt this Flower [Page] will prosper passing well, and yéeld yerely double increase. And as I sayd before, the better to nourishe, and maintaine thys Flower, [...] there are certaine delicate herbes that must of force be cherished, which bée these. First to be aduised in spéeche, cour­teous, and gentle in conuersation, trusty and secret in that, wherein he is trusted, wise in giuing counsayle, carefull in pro­uiding for his house, dyligent in looking to that which is his, suffer able in the impor­tunities of his wife, daungerous, and cir­cumspect in matters touching his honesty and ieolous in the education of his Chyl­dren. These be excellent herbes, quoth the Lady Aloisa, and rarely founde all in one garden. Wherefore we pray you teach vs how we may plant, and conserue them.

That appertayneth not to my charge, quoth Mayster Pedro, and if it dyd, yet want of skill, and shortnesse of time would not permit me. But I will instruct you in their qualities, which being well conside­red, wyll proueke the wyse man to séeke after th [...]m. In doing whereof, as I shall sufficiently discharge my duetie towardes [Page] the Lady Iulia, concerning hir commaū ­demēt. So I trust to deserue great thanks of al these Ladies. The first delicate herbe 1 that the married man must plante for the preseruation of his frendly Flower, Aduised in speach. is to be aduised in spéeche. For the man that without discretion speaketh more hast [...]l [...]e than wisely, for the most parte falleth into errors, much bablyng, declareth a foolishe heade: and a silent person is the exampler of wisedome. First expende with thy selfe, what thou wylte speake, and ponder thy meanyng well. Then note to whome, where, & when thou speakest. The tongue that runneth before the witte, commonlye bréedeth hys Maisters woe. The Philoso­phers in their scholes, neuer taught a man to speake, but first learned h [...]m to holde his peace. Salomon saith, [...] that much talke cannot be without offence, and he that [...] refrayne hys tongue is wyse. Two [...] Socrates allowed, that shoulde [...] one to speake, when he [...] matter very well, and when necess [...]e [...] him. Xenoph [...]n sayeth, [...] that nature gaue vs two eares, and but one mouthe, [Page] to the intent we shoulde heare more than we ought to speake. The second herbe is to 2 be courteous,Courtise in conuersatiō. and gentle in conuers [...]on. For ye sée, that fierce, and hurtfull beasts, as the Lion, the Serpent, with such lyke, bée abhorred of vs for their cruell curst­nesse, when the tractable beastes, as the spa [...]u [...]ll, and the grayhound, with others, haue not onelye place in our houses, but we haue sometyme more care to nourishe them vp, than a Christian creature. The married man then must not be rigorous towarde his wyfe. For there will discorde growe by hir inwarde hate, and neuer shall they haue ioy, or peace, if the woman cannot refrayne hir tongue, nor the man suffer. If he want discretion, and she paci­ence, it will rather appéere the mansion of fooles, than a house of y wise. For at the last, except one of them yéelde vp in tyme, they wyll fall to raging, & so consequently to blowes. Women for the most part, are [...]roward of complexion, and tender of con­dition, whereto y wise husband must haue great regarde, and if he once repr [...]hende them sharpelye, he must a hundreth folde [Page] exhorte them louingly. There are manye occasions, that causeth variance betweene man and wyfe, as for their children, ser­uants, apparell, and other such housholde matters. In which the good maried man must shewe his wysedome, eyther in tur­ning it to sporte, & dissembling the cause, or aunswering not at all. If so bee he can­not suppresse his anger, let hym then goe and disgest it abroade. For the ende of in­dignation, is to be ashamed of our selues. And as in a miste a man appéereth grea­ter than in a fayre day, sayeth Diogenes: Di [...]genes▪ so appeareth hys vy [...]s more in hys an­ger, and rage, than when he is pacient. The thirde is to be secrete, and trusty in 3 that, wherin he is trusted.To be s [...]cre [...] One of the ver­tues most estéemed in tymes past was se­crecie, whereby the wisedome of a man was perfitely discerned. He is diserate that kéepeth well hys secretes, sayeth So­crates. [...] But he is not wise that dis [...]uereth them. [...]. The good Cato repented him but of thrée things that he did during all his lyfe. First, for disclosing a secrete to a woman, the seconde, for sayling by sea, when hee [Page] might haue gone by land, and the last, for consuming one whole day, without doyng some profitable déede. A marueylous ex­ample of secrecie,Anaxa­goras. was shewed in Anaxa­goras, who wyth other conspired to kyll a tyraunt, and being betrayed, and by the tyraunt put to most cruell tormentes, not sufferable, bit off his owne tongue, bicause he woulde not discouer that, which he pro­mised to kéepe secret. The lyke is reported of a woman in Athens, bicause she would not bewraye a conspiracie, wherein hir husbande was a parte. It is happie, quoth the Ladie Aloisa, that some women haue bene secrete in tymes past. For you men say now a daies, that women can kepe no counsayle. Sée I pray you, quoth Maister Gualter, how soone this Lady had gotten holde of that sentence, whiche so little ser­ueth hir purpose. For I trust it was an easy mater for that woman to kepe silence when shée wanted hir tongue. Whereto the Ladies woulde haue replied, but Ma [...] ­ster Pedro interrupted them, and sayde, that hée dyd not condemne, althoug he the most parte were not tongue tyed, and so [Page] there be, quoth he, some men that be open ynough. But I would haue thys married man to embrace secrecie as a vertue, and thynke it is a great shame not to be so se­cret as a woman. The fourth, is to be wise 4 in giuyng counsayle, [...] which is not euerye mans office, but such as be of good yeares, that haue séene, and heard much. Counsel [...]lers must bewise, lerned, vertuous, of good iudgement, & without affection. [...] [...] [Page] The office of the husbande is to bryng in necessaries: of the wife, well to kepe them. The office of the husband is, to go abroad in matters of profite: of the wyfe, to tarye at home, and sée all be well there. The of­fice of the husbande is, to prouide money, of the wife, not wastfully to spend it. The office of the husbande is, to deale, and bar­gaine with all men, of the wife, to meddle or make wyth no man. The office of the husband is, to giue, of the wyfe, to keepe. The office of the husbande is, to apparell him as he can, of the wyfe, to goe as shée ought. The office of the husband is, to bée Lorde of all, of the wyfe, to giue accounte of all, and finally I saye, that the office of the husbande is, to mainetayne well hys liuelyhoode, and the office of the woman is, to gouerne well the housholde. And as the man may not deny his wyfe thinges, that muste be graunted of necessitie: so he ought not to graunt hir thinges of pro­digalitie, & superfluous. For as great dis­order is it to graunte the one, as to denye the other. The sixte is, that the married man accompany no defamed persons, and [Page] in any case that he harbour them not. For 6 many men blame their wyues for yll life,To accom­pa [...]y no de­f [...]d p [...]r­s [...]ns. when they themselues are the causers therof, for maintaining such companions, whereby he himself doth hardly escape in­fam [...]e, and these good fellowes doe seeke to créepe into greatest friendlshippe with the husband, to the intent they may haue [...] ­ter oportunitie with hys wyfe. Yet maye he vse his tried friende or n [...]re kinsman familiarly, as well in his owne house, as else where, [...]auyng alwayes regarde to the olde sa [...]ing, that a man may sh [...]w [...] wyfe, and his sword to his friende, but not to farre to trust them. For if therby gr [...]w vnto him any infamie, let hym not blame his wyfe, but hys owne negligence. The seuenth herbe of marue [...]lous vertue is,7 to be sufferable in the i [...]portunities of his wyfe, [...] sometimes dissemblyng, and in t [...]i­fling matters consentyng vnto [...]ir. For if all thinges that women craue, shoulde be graunted, all thinges that they finde fault withall, shoulde be amended, & all thinges that they are agrieued with, should be re­dressed, Sampsons strength, the patience [Page] of Iob, and the wysedome of Salomon were all to little. For some men, whose misshaps are to be lamented, are matched with such sainctes, that deuise naught else, but howe to vexe, and molest their hus­bands.Socrates. Socrates pittied thrée sorts of men. The first was, a good man in the handes of a curst shrewe, the seconde a wise man, vnder the gouernaunce of a foole, and the last was a liberall man in subiection to a couetous caytife. I thanke you for this, quoth Mai [...]ter Gualter, this is the truest tale you tolde to daye, and hitherto, you haue but flattered these Ladies. Not so, quoth master Pedro. For I spake nothing heretofore but the truth, neyther speake I this nowe generally agaynst all women. For that were slaunderous vnto them. I do but touch some shrewde wyues. Tush, quoth maister Gualter, they be shrewes all, and if you giue the simplest of them leaue to daye to treade vpon your f [...]te, to mo [...]row she will treade vpon thy head. Be not angrye, I praye you, quoth Maister Pedro. For I giue no such leaue, but I say that for quietnesse sake, & for the increase [Page] of amitie, the maried man must sometime dissemble, and in this case ought to consi­der, that if his wife be foolish, it little hel­peth to aunswere hir, and lesse profiteth to reforme hir, but if she be wyse, one worde will suffice. For it is a certaine rule, that if a woman will not be still with one word of hir husbande, she will not be quiet with as manye wordes as euer the wysemen did write, nor with so many stripes, as a man is able to gyue hir. The wyse hus­bande therefore I say, and affirme, must, to preserue this pleasaunt Flower, deale with his wyfe, rather by subtilitie, than by crueltie. The eyght is to be circumspect in 8 matters that concerne his honestie, [...] [...] and not to be ieolous of his wyfe. The Stoike Philosophers saye, that ielousie is a cer­tayne care of mans mynde, least another shoulde possesse the thing, which he alone woulde enioye. There is no greater tor­ment, than the vexation of a iealous mind which euen as the moth fretteth the cloth, doth consume the hart, that is vexed there­with. Two kinde of persons are common­lye [...]ore sicke in this disease, eyther those [Page] that are euill themselues, or they that in their youth haue gone astraye, supposing that as other mens wyues haue done to­wardes them, so will theirs doe towardes others, which is vanitie to thynke, more follye to suspecte, and greatest foolishnesse to speake of. For as some lewde women be dissolute: so likewise women there be, ho­nest, and very circumspect. If the wise be to be suspected, let the man worke as se­cretly and closely as he can, to reprehend hir, yet all peraduenture will not aduaile. For, trust me, no wisdome, no craft, no sci­ence, no strength, no subtiltie, yea, no pa­cience sufficeth to enforce a woman, to be true to hir husbande, if she otherwise de­termine. Therefore to conclude to be ieo­lous, eyther néedeth not, or booteth not. The ninth, and laste herbe, is to be care­full 9 in the education of hys children. For much better were they vnborne than vn­taught.To be care­full in edu­cation of his children. Diogenes being enquired what were best for a man to doe to be in fauour of the Gods, and beloued of the people, an­swered, that to be in the credit with the people and fauourd of the Gods, a man ought to [Page] do thrée things, the first to reuerence, and honor much the Gods, then to bryng vppe hys children in due correction, and last to be thankefull to his benefactors. What a­ [...]aileth riches, possessions, to be fortunate, to haue thy wyfe wyth chylde safely dely­uered, & thy childe well nourished, if after­wardes by ill trayning, & for want of edu­cation he become vicious? The monarch of Macedon Philippes Sonne,Alexander being as­ked why he honoured more hys mayster, than his father, said, that his maister gaue him lyfe euerlastyng, and his Father lyfe but for a time. There came once before the wyse Solon a Father with his sonne, one accusing the other, the father complayned of the disobedience of his Sonne, and the sonne accused the father of his ill bringing vppe, which was the cause of his disobedi­ence,Solon▪ Solon well considering the case, de­termined that bicause the Father had not brought vp his sonne in due correction, hée should therefore after his death, be depri­ [...]ed of his sepulchre, which was very rigo­rous in those dayes, and the sonne for hys disobedience was disherited. I assure you, [Page] quoth Maister Lodouic, that same was an excellent iudgement of the wise Solon, and if it were put in vre at these dayes, there would be many fathers to lye with­out graues, and as many sonnes put from their inheritance. The more pittie, quoth maister Pedro, and I thoughte to haue sayde more therein. But the sunne is so much declined, that it is more than tyme to vnburden these Ladies of this tedious talke, and I feare me, I haue alreadye troubled them to long. Not so, quoth the Ladye [...]. For sooner should we wante the day light, than good will to heare you; though the day were so long againe. You s [...]y your pleasure, quoth Maister Pedro, [...]ut nowe to knit vp this Flower of ma­trimoniall amitie, and friendshippe, tou­ching the office of the man, I saye, that he must aboue all thynges haue the feare of God before hys eyes, which with the rest well considered, and put in execution, no doubt he shall enioye the fragrant sauour thereof. Then rose vp the Ladye Iulia, with the whole cōpany, giuing my friend m [...]yster Pedro greate thankes, wishyng [Page] that there were many such husbands, and therewith she tooke the garlande from hir head, and sayd, turning hir towards may­ster Pedro, that she would surrender vn­to him agayne the authoritie which shee of him receyued wyth that charge, that he shoulde the next daye bestowe it on some other in that place. For I shall not bée in quiet, quoth shée, till I haue hearde the married woman prescribed in lyke sorte, as you haue done the maried man, ney­ther can this Flower well prosper, or bée perfite, except the woman also put to hir helping hande. Whereto mayster Pedro aunswered, that in the woman was to be required great helpe for the preseruation of this friendlye Flower. Yet will I not, quoth hee, take the authoritie from you. But if you list to departe wyth it to some other, you shall your selfe to morrowe re­signe it to whome it pleaseth you, and in the meane time he willed hir to leaue the garlande, and hir authoritie in the place, where shée receyued it, which she did, and then went we out of that most pleasaunt arbour into the Garden, where we tooke [Page] our leaue of the Ladies and gentlemen, who were very loth to haue left our com­pany. But maister Pedro had so apointed, that we coulde not tary. Therfore promi­sing to come againe the next day, we went home the same daye wée came in the mor­ning, where the Nightingale saluted vs with such swéete melodie, that wée were at the ende of our iourney before wée were ware.

¶The office, or duetie of the married woman, for the pre­seruation, and continaunce, of this Flower of Friendship▪

TThe next morning came there two, or thrée straun­gers to Mayster Pedro, which letted vs of our mor­nings walke, notwithstan­ding we sent worde to the Lady Iulia, that in the after noone, we determyned accor­ding to our promyse, to méete hir in the garden. So after our dinner was finished and the guestes departed, wée prepared readye our horses, partly for that the wea­ther was somewhat to hote to traueyle [...]n foote, and partly for the more spéede.

But for all our haste, the companye was assembled before we came, and merily sate togithers, gyuing eare to the pleasaunt harmonie, and melodie, that was made by the musitions, to whome after our re­uerence accordingly done, we drewe nere, and tooke our places in the Arbor, where as the euening before, the Ladye Iulia [Page] had left hir authoritie. And euery one or­derly se [...], shée toke the garland of hir soue­raignt [...], and standing vp sayde. That the authoritie which she had receyued the day before of mayster Pedro, she purposed to gyue to some other, least in vsurping a continuance therein, she might doe iniu­rie to the r [...]a [...]t of the company and so cur­teously comming to the Ladie Aloisa, The Ladie Aloia chosen soue­raigne. she set the garlande of principalitie vppon hir heade, with election confirmed, by assent of vs all, wyth the promyse of due obey­sance. The Lady Iulia sat downe soberly in hir place againe, and the Ladye Aloisa standing vp, declared howe much against hir wyll shée tooke that authoritie, and so­ueraigntie vpon hir: notwithstanding for as much as the Lady Iulia by the free consent of the rest, had elected hir, she neither would vncurtesly, nor might she honestly, contemne or reiect it,Th [...] Ladiee Iulia com­m [...]unded to d [...]scribe the married w [...]man. by the vertue wher­of, quoth she, I will that the Ladye Iulia doe briefly (for that the day is farre past) describe vnto vs, the office, and duetie of the married woman, in lyke sort as may­ster Pedro hath done for the mans behalfe [Page] and therein to shew in what sort she must applie hir selfe, to maintaine this Flower of Friendship, betweene hir husband and hir. When the Lady Iulia heard this, she began a little to chaunge hir colour, and standing in doubt what she shoulde doe, much disschabling hir selfe, but in the ende after hir pawse a whyle, I rather ch [...]se quoth she, to hazarde the iudgement of ig­noraunce, by my vnskilfull tale, than to be condemned of disobedience by vngentle resistance. For disobedience is a fault in all persons, but the greatest vyce in a wo­man. And nowe,The Lady Iulia be­ginneth the married woman, and agree­eth with maister Pe­dro in diuers p [...]ynts. in hope of pardon, if my vnlearned speache be not aunswerable to your expectations, of this married wyfe this is my opinion. In diuers poyntes I agrée with Mayster Pedro, which are as well necessarie in the woman, as requisite in the man. For if in suppressing of the thrée foresaid wéedes, the chiefest enimies to the Flower of Friendship, the man must be careful: much more ought the wo­man to trauaile, that they doe not spring in hir, and also the great regard in choise with others: wherein bycause mayster [Page] Pedro hath already satisfied you, I maye be vnburdened of that traueyle. For if the man ought to be circumspect in the elec­ting of his wyfe, what shall the siely wo­men doe, being so often deceyued by you men? Therfore must she with great care consider, and be well assured of the mans honest conuersation, of his maners, and affections, and specially what loue he bea­reth. For the venom of loue blyndeth the eyes, and so bewitcheth the senses of vs poore women, that as we can foresée no­thing,Loue blin­deth the eyes, and bewitcheth the senses of women. so are we perswaded, that all the vices of the beloued are rare, and excellent vertues, and the thing most sower, to be verye swéete, and delicate: for the aduoy­ding of which, the woman can not be to inquisitiue. I meane not of the mannes welth and substaunce, but of his vertues, which be the true ryches, and remayneth for euer. With which thing mooued, The­mistocles Themisto­cles. being demaunded whether he had rather marrie his daughter to a riche man vicious, or to a poore man vertuous, worthily aunswered, that he woulde soner [...]hoose a man without money, that money [Page] without a man. Also I dissent not from Mayster Pedro, in his equalitie of match. And after such hir choyse,The happi­nesse of mariage consisteth in a chast wife. let hir endeuour to encrease a perfection of loue, and aboue all imbrace chastitie. For the happinesse of matrimonie, doth consist in a chaste ma­trone, so that if such a woman bée con­ioyned in true and vnfayned loue, to hir beloued spouse, no doubt their lyues shall be stable, easie, swéete, ioyfull and happy. But loue taken awaye, in stéede of most swéete pleasauntnesse, is placed a bitter vnsauerie, and an intollerable estate. The first thing therefore, which the maried w [...]man must labour to intende, the first thing which shee must with all hir force, applie hir whole minde vnto, and the first thing which she must hartilye put in exe­cution, is to lyke, and loue well.The woman must lyke and loue well hir husband. For rea­son doth bynde vs, to loue them, wyth whome we must eate, and drinke, whome we must only accompany, of whose ioyes, and sorrowes, wealth, and woe, wée must be partakers, for whome also wée forsake parents, friendes, and all, leauing onelye to them, for no shorter time, than during [Page] lyfe. And albeit they be cancred of nature, yll in conuersation, worse in condition, base of linage, deformed of personage, and vnaduised in worde and déede: yet being our chosen husbands, we may not, nor can we forgo them, or chaūge with our neigh­bours, as dyd sometyme the Parthians, but séeke gently to redresse them,The Par­thians ex­chaunged wiu [...]s with their neigh­bours. indeuor to please them, and labour to loue them. To whome we haue wholy gyuen our bo­dies, our goodes, our lyues, and lybertie. But it often falleth out that discord grow­eth betwéene man and wyfe, by the igno­raunce of one the others nature, and for this cause we are bounde to learne, and ob­serue them, and let not the womā to hasti­lye perswade hir selfe, in ymagining that hir husbande liketh and loueth hir intirely and sheweth hir a good countenaunce. For in that moment, when he shall perceyue that she loueth him not hartely, euen then will he abhorre hir vtterly. For as to sea­son vnsauery meates, pleasant saw [...]es be prepared: so to gyue a good release to the foode of maryage, it must be tempered with true loue. For loue gyueth to harde [Page] things an easinesse, to tedious thinges a pleasauntnesse,True loue the sauce of ma [...]iage. a beginning with facility, and ending in felycitie. Then spake the Ladye Isabella, and sayde, that it was not possible for a woman to loue that husband, the which delyteth more in another. It is sure quoth the Lady Iulia, a harde mat­ter for a vertuous wyfe to liue wyth a vi­cious husbande. For an honest woman to loue a dissolute man, or a wyse spouse to accept a foolishe mate. Yet notwithstan­ding, howe much more the husbande bée euill, and out of order, so much more is it the womans prayse, if she loue him. And you men, as vntractable as you be, yet is it not possible, if your wyues doe louingly imbrace you, though you cannot inforce your euill inclinations to repaye loue for loue againe, yet can yee not well hate them,Examples of such as loued well their hus­bandes. which is no small matter. I coulde recite diuers worthy examples as well of Romaine, as Grecian Ladies, that haue so intirelye affected their lincked mates, that not only haue they indangered them­selues in great perilles for their sakes, but haue also willinglye spent their bloude to [Page] die with them. Plutrach reporteth, howe that [...]he Lacedemonians, waging bat­tayle against the Mimians, A w [...]rthy example [...]f the Mimian Ladies. and by con­quest getting the vpper hand, tooke a num­ber of them captiues, which they impriso­ned, intending shortlye after to put them to a cruell death. The louing Wyues of those men, when they vnderstood the wo­full hap of their infortunate husbandes, came to the prisons, where they were, and wyth sorowfull teares and playntes, en­treated the Iarlors that they might haue recourse to speake with y prisoners, which thing after long and tedious sute, obtay­ned, they entred in, and after most louing imbracings, and lamentable bewaylings, these wyues tooke on them their husbands apparell, fending them out in their wo­manly attire, with their faces couered, as the guise of the countrie was, who being taken for women, were let passe, and so escaped, leauing their wyues in prison to dye the death, at the appoynted tyme for their sakes. When the day of execution was come, and the matter fully knowne, the Lacedemonians stoode in admiration [Page] and gaue these faithfull harts high prayse, and pardoning both them, and their hus­bandes, sent them l [...]me with great re­wardes, to the incouragement o [...] others, to treade the like steps of hon [...]st loue. Pan­thea, Panthea. when she hard that hir husband was slayne in battayle, ranne fortl w [...]th wyth a mourning heart to the doolefull place where he lay, whom after she had b [...]ay­led hir fill, and had bathed hir s [...]l [...]e in [...]is bloude, tooke that same vnhappye launce, wherewith he was slayne, and gored [...]ir selfe to the heart. The lyke is reported of Porcia, Brutus wife.Porcia. Martiall also wri­teth, how that Alcesta, the wyfe of King Admetes, If Alcest [...] be deade, good Ladie reuiue hir not againe. vnderstanding by the Oracle of Apollo, that hir husbandes grieuous disease, wherewith hée was sore pained, coulde not be cured, but by the bloude of a deare friend, killed hir selfe saying, that Admetes had not a dearer friend than she was, which thing when the king heard, he finished his lyfe, wyth the like death, sup­posing it more better to couple themselues togyther by one ende, than seperated, in teares to bewayle the lack of so true har­ted, [Page] and louing spouse. In lyke maner, Paulina Paulina. the wyfe of Seneca, when shée had intelligence that hir husbande by the commaundement of Nero had by cutting of his veynes bledde himselfe to death, did also cut hir owne veynes, to accompanye hir good husbande in the lyke ende, had not Nero preuenting hir purpose, caused hir veynes to be stopped vp againe.

What shall I speake worthily of Triara, Triara. the swéete spouse of Lucius Vitellus, who so intirely loued hir husbande, that she ac­companied him in the warres being a woman, aduenturing daungers with a man­lye courage, ryding alwayes next hir be­loued mate, to garde him, and to be parta­ker of his chaunces, good or bad. Did not Iulia, Iulia. Pompeius wife, erpresse the signe of a most louing hart, who when she sawe hir husbandes coate brought into the City all imbrued with gory bloud, fell into a so­daine sound, scriching most ruthfully, and bitterlye crying: O Pompei, Pompei, farewell. And being with childe, brought forth in extréeme pangues hir vntimelye fruite, which immediatly with the mother, [Page] yéelded vp y gasping breath, whose deaths were bewayled with many teares. Plinie the yonger, in an Epistle writeth of a fi­shers wife that finding no meanes to cure an intollerable disease of hir husbandes,A notabl [...] example▪ of a fishers wife. & sore lamenting his paines, that dayly in­creased, perswaded him, that one of them shoulde slay the other, and in the ende con­cluded, that they both assended to the top of a high rocke, which hung ouer the sea, and being both cowpled togither, threwe themselues downe, and were drowned. I coulde occupie you, quoth the Ladye Iulia till to morrow this time, with like stories, of worthy women. But these may suffice, to shewe the loue of the wife to hir husbād, and to let you vnderstande also, Mayster Gualter, that there hath béene alwaies women as louing as men. No doubt Ma­dam quoth he, ye loue passingly, when ye doe loue, and ye hate as extréemely, when ye doe hate. Wherefore it were a goodly matter if you coulde bring your married women vnto a meane. Not so, quoth the Lady Iulia, I will haue no meane in loue.No mea [...] in loue. And when the woman hath thus groun­ded [Page] the perfite rootes of loue, and planted this Friendly Flower, in a faithfull hart, she must be as curious as Maister Pedros good husbande in preseruing it against all tempe [...]ous stormes, and from all veny­mous w [...]e [...]es. The greatest helpe where­to is shamefastnesse, which is of such po­wer, and vertue, that it suffyceth alone to defende it against all weathers.Shamefast­nesse. And if so be that there were but one onely vertue in a woman, it might well be shamefast­nesse. For as in a creature voyd of shame there is nothing founde worthye of com­mendation:The shame­lesse crea­ture is voyde of all vertues. so in the Woman indued with that vertue, is not any thing worthy of reprehension, & there is the roote of god­lines, where springeth y branch of shame­fastnes, which is the only defence that na­ture hath giuē to women, to k [...]epe their re­petatiō, to preserue their chastity, to main­taine their honor, & to aduance their praise. How farre ther [...]ore are ye men ouersene, when you onely inquire of their beautie, substance, and parentage, leauing vertue beside, & that most excellent gift of shame­fastnesse, which is the chiefest dowrye, the [Page] greatest inheritaunce, and the precious Iewell that a woman can bring wyth hir. There is another great mainteyner of this Flower, & that is the goodlye grace of obedience.Obedience. For reasō it is that we obey our Husbands. God commaundeth it, and we are bounde so to doe. I knowe not quoth the Lady Isabella what we are bounde to doe, but as méete is it, that the husband, o­bey the wife, as the wife the husband, or at the least, that there be no superioritie be­twéene them, as the auncient philosophers haue defended. For women haue soules as wel as men, they haue wit as wel as men, and more apt for procreation of children, than men. What reason is it then, that they should be bounde, whom nature hath made frée? Naye,The A­chaians. among the Achaians, women had such soueraigntie, that what­soeuer they commaunded, their husbands obeyed. Yea Plutarch saith, that the man swept the house, drest the meate, and did al other necessaries, where the woman go­uerning the house, and kéeping the money aunswered all matters, and which worse was, they corrected them at their discretiō [Page] What did shée, quoth Mayster Gualter, & might she beate him too? Mary lo, Here is the matter, that some of our Dames in this Countrie take so much vppon them. They think belike that they be in Achaia But sure if I had bene amongst those wo­men: you would haue done, quoth the La­die Isabella, as they did. For Dogs barke boldly at their owne maisters doore. Be­léeue not daughter, quoth the Lady Iulia neither those ignorant Philosophers, nor these fonde customes. For contrary also to this, the Parthians & Thracians Parthians and thra­cians. accoun­ted not of their wiues, more than of slaues so that after they had borne them a dosen children or more, they solde the mothers at the▪ common markets or e [...]chaunged them for yonger. Fie vppon that law, quoth the Lady Isabella. But what saye you to the custome which Dionysius Alicarnasseus writeth of the Numidians and Lydians, The Nu­midians & Lydians. where the women commaunded wythin doores, and the men without. Yea marry quoth the Ladye Aloisa, that was a iust law, where the commaunding was equal. Not so quoth the Lady Iulia. For though [Page] it [...]re better than the other two: yet not [...]ollerable amongest vs, neyther was the soueraigntie so equallye deuided, as you think. For if the woman kepe alwaies hir house, as duetie is, the man standeth euer at hir cōmaundement. For as long as she is within, though he commaund hir with­out, this lawe byndeth hir not to obey. Wherfore in my opinion al those Barba­rian customes are to be disanulled, & con­temned of Christians. Ye say well, Ma­dam, quoth M. Erasmus. For in dede both [...]ine, & humaine lawes, in our religion giueth the man absolute authoritie,The man both by rea­son, and law, hath the soue­raigne [...]y ouer his wy [...]e. ouer the woman in all places. And, quoth the Lady Iulia, as I sayd before, reason doth confirm the same, the man being as he is, most apt for the soueraigntie beyng in go­uernment, not onely skill and experience to be required, but also capacite to comprehend, wisedom to vnderstand, strength to execute, solicitude to prosecute, pacience to suffer, meanes to sustayne, and aboue all, a great courage to accomplishe, all which are commonly in a man, but in a woman verye rare: Then what blame deserue [Page] those men that doe permit their wy [...] to rul [...] all, and suffer themselues to be com­maunded for company. A hard aduenture quoth Mayster Gualter, A harde aduerture happeneth to him that is matched with a shrewe. hapneth to that man, which is matched with a maisterly shrew. For she being once past shame not onely blabbeth out all that shée knoweth, but thundreth out that also, which hir mad heade conceyueth, or hir fantasticall braine dreameth of, and yet will she main­taine, that she is neuer angry, or speaketh without great cause. There bée quoth the Ladie Iulia some such women, but I doe vtterly condemne them. For this married woman, whom I haue taken vpon me t [...] describe,The woman must be o­bedient to hir husband must of duty be vnto hir husband in all things obedient, and therefore if he sometimes mooued do chaunce to chide hir she must forbeare: in doing whereof hée shal neither eate y more at his dinner, nor shée haue the lesse appetite to hir Supper. The wise woman must consider, that hi [...] husbande chydeth, eyther without reason or hath good cause. If reason mooue him, then of dutie she is bound to obey, if other­wise, it is hir part to dissemble the matter. [Page] For in nothing can a wyfe shewe a grea­ter wysedome, than in dissembling with an importunate husbande. Hir honest ye hir good nature, and hir prayse is shewed in nothing more, than in tollerating of an vndiscreate man, and to conclude, as the woman ought not to commaund the man but to be alwaies obedient: so ought he not to suffer himself to be commaunded of his wife. Seneca in his tragedies of this mat­ter sheweth a notable example. In the warres of Mithridates & the Romaines, A notable example. all the souldiours in Rome were cōmaun­ded to be in redinesse, to attend vpon Silla the Consull. This edict being published, the officers came to an olde knights house to will him to prepare hymselfe. But his wife withstood them and said, that he was not at home, & that he shoulde not go. For quoth she, though perchaunce he were a­ble, yet being an olde Souldiour, and ex­empted from the warres, I will not giue him leaue. Whereat the officers being astonied, enformed the Senate thereof, who forthwith banished the olde Knight, for suffering himselfe to be commaunded [Page] by his wyfe, and hir they kepte in prison during his exile for presumption. The ma­ried woman, must be also verye carefull, and circumspect of hir good name. For a good name is the flower of estimation,The good name of a woman is very deli­cate. and the pearle of credite, which is so delicate a thing in a woman, that she must not only be good, but likewise must appeare so. For you men are naturally so malicious, that you wil iudge aswel of that you suspect, as of that which you sée. The chefest way for a woman to preserue and maintayne this good fame,The good married womā must be resident in hir owne house. is to be resident in hir owne house. For an honest woman in sobernes, kéeping well hir house, gayneth thereby great reputation, and if she be euill, it dri­ueth away many euil occasions, and stop­peth the mouthes of the people. In keping at home, all thinges shall be better gouer­ned, hir husbandes hart better chéered, all euil suspicions depelled, angers aduoided, expences diminished, and the great excesse of apparell not required, wherein we are commonly so curious, that otherwise be­ing naturally great sauers, onely therein are we as great wasters, which thing is [Page] aduoyded by the wyues honest kéeping at home.Women are great wa­sters in ap­parell. I cannot but maruayle, how a wo­man of estimatiō can delite in gaddyng a­brode, to be a gossiper, hauing at home hir husband to conferre with, hir childrē to in­struct, hir family to looke vnto, hir kindred to please, and the euill tongues to appease. Seneca saith that his aunt for sixtene yea­res space, whiles hir husbande was in E­gypt, neuer went out of hir owne house. Faunus Kyng of the Aborigines, had a wyfe named Fauna, Fauna. who after shée was maried, would neuer looke vpon any man sauing hir husband, in doing wherof, she gate such reputation, y after hir death she was honoured for a Goddesse. Licurgus commaunded that no woman at any time shoulde goe oute of hir house, sauyng at certain festiuall dayes appointed. For the maried woman, saith he, hath nothing els to doe, but eyther in the temple to pray to the Gods, or at home to instructe hir chil­dren. My meaning is not in reciting the so examples, to haue the maried wife conti­nually lockt vp, as a cloystered Nunne, or Ancres, but to consider hereby, what re­spect [Page] she must haue in going abroade, and what a vertue it is to kéepe well hir house. Lucretia Lucretia. the famous Romaine Ladye, obtayning not so great prayse in excelling others in beautie and parentage, as shée did in being founde at home a spinning, and carding with hir Maydens, whereas the other Romaine Matrones, were ro­ming abrode in feasting, and banqueting, when their husbands came from the wars to vi [...]te them. As the wyfe must be thus wary in going abroade:The woman must auoyd suspicious companies. so must she be as carefull what is done at home, on hir part not to sit ydlely, nor to permit any one sus­piciously to come vnto hir, espeacially hir husband being not at home. Plutarch tel­leth of a custome among the Numidians, The Numi­dians. that their husbandes being abroade, the wiues kept alwaies their doores shut, and there was a lawe inuiolable, that who so euer knockt at such a doore so shut, shoulde therefore lose his hande. To be briefe, not onely in chastitie of bodye, but in honesty of behauiour, and talke, doth the womans honour, and good name consist, and is also mayntayned. These be on the wo­mans [Page] behalfe, the greatest nourishers, of this matrimoniall Flower, wherewyth being adorned, she shall please God, con­tent hir husbande, and get honour of all persons, without which all trym attyre, all outwarde payntings, and garnishings are nothing. For what auayleth it a man to haue his wife of excellent bewtie, great possessions, good parentage and wel frien­ded, if therwithal she be shamelesse, prowd curst, and dissolute. Also for the perfiting of this married woman, certaine outward qualities are to be required, as to looke well to hir huswifery,The mari­ed woman must be skilfull in huswifery. and not onely to see that all be done, but that all be well done, to the contentation of hir husbande, euen in thinges of least importaunce, and to occupie hir selfe accordinglye,The woman must not be ydle. not to sit al­wayes ydle, but to spende hir time in some profitable exercise, as with hir néedle, and rocke, or such other lyk [...], which in times past, haue béene in great reputation a­mongest the greatest Ladies,Salomon. so that Sa­lomon commending a good woman, saith that she sought woole and flaxe, & wrought by the counsayle of hir handes. It is also [Page] a great want in a woman, if she be vnskil­full in dressing of meate.Cookerie. For it is the chie­fest poynt of a huswyfe to cherish hir hus­bande, who being sicke, will haue the best appetite to the meate of hys wyues dres­sing, and if she then cherishe him well, he will loue hir the better euer after.

Stratomacha y wife of king Deiotarus, Strato­macha. whensoeuer he fell sick, was his cooke, his phisition, and his chirurgion, which wor­thye qualities so estéemed of such a noble Quéene, why should not the married wo­man labor to haue them, seing that there­by she shal enlarge y Flower of Friend­ship betwene hir & hir husbād, whose face must be hir dayly looking glasse,The face of the husbād, the looking glasse of the wyfe. wherein she ought to be alwais prying, to sée when he is mery, when sad, when content, and when discontent, wherto she must alwais frame hir own countenance. Why, quoth the Lady Isabell, what if he bee mad, or drunke, must we then shew the like coun­tenance? If you perceiue him in such case, quoth the Ladye Iulia, speake him fayre, and flatter hym, tyll you get hym to bed, and there reprehende him louingly, with [Page] kissing and embracyng, that he may per­ceyue it to come of pure loue, more than of malice, for better were it to conuerte him louingly in gentlenesse, than to con­trole him frowardly in shrewdnesse. It is most true, quoth M. Pedro. For in thys poynt, we are not much vnlyke to wylde and sauage beasts, as the Lion, or the Unicorne, which by force cannot be tamed, but by humilitie,Men must be reformed by gentle­nesse. and gentle meanes, so that who will reclayme vs, must auoyde all contrarying, and vexation of mynde, whereof I could tell you a prety story that of late yeres happened to a gentlewomā, that by suche gentle wyles reclaymed hir husband, being farre gone, but I shoulde iniurie the Lady Iulia, to intermeddle so farre in hir charge. Not so, quoth she, but you shall greatlye pleasure me therein, wherfore I pray you let vs heare it.Maister Pedro tel­leth a pretie tale, howe a woman re­claymed hir husbande. Ther was, quoth he, a Gentleman of good cal­lyng, that greatly delighted in huntyng, who on a daye, néere to a little village en­countred with a poore Wydowes daugh­ter, a simple wench, but somwhat snowte fayre, whose gaye eyes, had so intrapped [Page] thys iolye hunter, that vnder the colour thereof, he oftentimes resorted vnto hir and laye diuers nightes out of his owne house. When his wife, being both fayre, wyse, and vertuous, vnderstoode thereof, as well by hys demeanour, as by other coniectures, lyke a wyse woman she dys­sembled the matter, and kept it secret to hir selfe, not altering eyther countenance or condicions towardes him, but on a time, when she was assured, that he was gone another waye, hyed hir to the house, where she learned of the yong woman the whole circumstaunce, feyning hir selfe to be his sister, and when she had vewed the chambers, and bedding, wherein he lay, which was verye homelye, she returned home againe & trussed vp a good bed, well furnished, and hangings, with other ne­cessaries, which as secretly as she could, conuayde thither, desiring both the olde woman, and hir daughter to be good to hir brother, and sée that he wanted nothing. The next day, came this gentlemā home and according to his custome went a hun­ting to his old haunt, where he seing this [Page] newe furniture, marueyled much thereat and inquired what the matter ment. The olde mother aunswered, that a sister of his had béene there, and willing them to che­rysh him well, gaue them besides, cer­tayne money. The gentleman vnderstan­ding then how the world went, and knowing it to be hys Wyfes doing, returned foorthwith home, and demaunded of hir the truth, and what she ment thereby, who denied it not. The cause why, quoth shée, I sent such furniture thither, was bicause I vnderstanding howe daintilye you were accustomed to lie at home, doub­ted you might by such harde entertayne­ment haue gotten some harme. He should quoth the Lady Aloisa haue had a bed of nettles, or thornes, had it bene to me. For sure I woulde not haue bene the cherisher of my husband in his vnthriftinesse. And so should you haue made him worse, quoth maister Pedro. But it happened much better to this gentle woman. For he being ouercome by hir vertue, liued cōtent wyth hir euer after. This storie, quoth the La­dye Iulia, hath well holpen me forwarde [Page] for the which I thanke Maister Pedro, & now to continue my purpose, I saye that very circumspect and warie must the wo­man be in reprehendyng of hir husbande in such great matters. For in thinges of small importance, the best wil be for hir to dissemble, noting diligently the tyme, the place, and the maner in doyng. The best tyme is, when anger, and malincholye raigneth not, and in any case, let no per­son be in place to heare hir. For it is a wyse mans griefe, to beare the open re­proofe of his wyfe. The best place is, as I sayde, when they are both in bed, a place appointed for reconcilements, and renu­ing of loue and friendship, let your words not be spitefull, but louing, kinde, gentle, mery and pleasaunt. For though the wo­man euery where, ought to be mery with hir mate: yet muste she chieflye in bed, thereby to shewe what loue she beareth hym, where she may lawfullye poure out into his bosome all the thoughtes, and se­crets of hir louing hart. But now to con­clude, and knit vp the married womans office in mainteyning and conseruing this [Page] Flower of Friendship, in holye Matri­monie, she must being of hir selfe weake, and vnable besides of hir owne diligence,The maried womā must put hir trust in God. put hir whole trust in the first, and prin­cipall a [...]thor thereof, whome if she serue faythfullye, will no doubte, make thys Flower to spryng vp in hir aboundantly. For daylye we maye sée a foule deformed woman, that truely seareth, and serueth God, so well beloued of hir husbande, as if she were the fayrest of beawtie in a coun­trey, and women voyde of Gods fauour, and grace, what qualities soeuer they haue besides, seldome, or neuer enioye they the happy estate of Matrimony, nor shall they euer attayne to the swéete, and perfite smell of thys moste delectable Flower of spousall amitie, and friendship. I thinke verily, quoth maister Pedro, if eyther Medea, or Circe coulde haue ob­tained this Flower, as cunning inchaun­ters as they were, to haue tempered their charmes withall, Circes had not so soone lost hir Vlysses, nor Medea [...]orgone hir welbeloued Iason. Herewith the whole assembly rising vp, gaue the Ladye Iulia [Page] hir deserued prayse, and thankes, and the Lady Aloisa laying aside hir soueraigne­tie, went all out into the Garden, where wée roming about the pleasant allies, dis­coursed a newe of that which had béene sayde, both by the Lady Iulia and of mai­ster Pedro, which was very well borne a­way. But the Lady Isabella, who in thys seconde debating fell to my lot, at our de­parting required me for hir sake, to penne the whole discourse of this flagrāt Flower For quoth she, your quiet silēce both these dayes assureth mée, that you haue well considered thereof, and therwyth the rest of the Ladies ioined with hir, at whose im­portunate request, wyth the helpe of my friende Maister Pedro, and others I haue aduentured to publishe this Dis­course.

FINIS.

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