A bavvd A vertuous bawd, a modest bawd: as shee deserves, reproove, or else applaud. Written by John Taylor.

A bavvd A vertuous bawd, a modest bawd: as shee deserves, reproove, or else applaud. Written by John Taylor.

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Title page

To the neither Noble or Ignoble, Lord or Lady, kind or cruell, learned or ignorant, curteous or currish, Christian or Barbarian, Man or Woman, rich or poore: but to all and every one in generall and particular.

A BAVVD.

Title page

[Page]

A BAVVD.

MY Verse is honest, seemely, neat and cleane,

Yet is my Theame polluted and obsceane:

Ile touch foule pitch, yet will not be defild,

My Muse shall wade through dirt, & not be soild.

The Sun on noysome dunghills shines as well,

As on faire flowers that doe fragrant smell:

The Ayre by which we live, doth every where

Breathe still alike upon the poore and Peere.

The Sea beares many an old despised* Boat,

Yet on the Sea the best Ships doe but float,

And Earth allowes to all her scattred brood,

Food, Clothes and Lodging to the bad and good.

Yet Sun, Ayre, Sea, nor Earth receive disgrace

By any bountie which they give the base.

Even so my Muse, (free from all foule intents)

Doth take example from the Elements,

In laying better studies by a while,

And in cleane fashion write a beastly stile:

Yet will I not my sense or meaning marre;

With tearmes obscure, or phrases fetcht from farre

Nor will I any way equivocate,

With words sophisticall, or intricate,

Vtopian-Fustianisme, poore heathen Greeke,

To put my Readers wits to groape and seeke.

[Page]Small eloquence men must expect from me,

My Schollership will name things as they be.

I thinke it good, plaine English, without fraud,

To call a spide a spade, a Bawd a Bawd.

Two little Pamphlets I have wrote before,

Which I was bold to call a Thiefe, and Whore,

Yet was my Whore so chaste, that she had not,

From end to end, one foule offensive spot;

Nor did my Thiefe from any man purloyne,

Or liv'd by filching either goods or coyne.

And now by chance it came into my mind,

That with the Bawd my Pen was much behind:

My Whore was honest, and my Thiefe was true,

And in this sort Ile give the Bawd her due.

Strange fruit from my poore barren labour springs,

I modestly must immodest things:

'Tis somewhat hard, but yet it is no riddle,

All Bawdry doth not breed below the middle.

So many severall sorts of Bawds doe grow,

That where there's not a Bawd, 'tis hard to know.

The first with spirituall Bawds, whose honor high

Springs from the whoredome of Idolatry,

Cast but your eyes upon the Man of Rome,

That stiles himselfe the Head of Christendome,

Christs universall Vicar, and Vicegerent,

In whom fooles thinke the Truth is so inherent,

That he can soules to Heaven or Hell preferre,

And being full of Errours, cannot erre:

[Page]And though his witchraft thousands hath entic'd,

Hee will be call'd Lieutenant unto Christ.

How hath that false Conventicle of Trent,

Made lawes, wch God, or good men never meant,

Commanding worshipping of stones and stocks,

Of Relikes, dead mens bones, and senslesse blocks,

From which adultrate painted Adoration,

Men (worse then stocks or blocks) must seek salvation?

The Soules of men are His that dearly bought thē,

And he the only way to Heav'n hath taught them.

And who so forceth them to false adoring,

Is the maine Bawd unto this spirituall Whoring.

Besides, it is apparent, and most cleare,

That he's the greatest Bawd the Earth doth beare:

For hee that tolerates the Stewes erection,

Allowes them Priviledges and Protection,

Shares in the profit of their sordid sweat,

Reapes yearely Pensions and Revenues great,

Permits the Pole-Shorne fry of Friers and Monks,

For Annuall stipends to enjoy their Puncks.

When* Paul the third the Romish Miter wore,

Hee had contributary Trulls such store,

To five and fortie thousand they amount,

As then Romes Register gave true account.

Besides, it was approv'd, the gaine was cleere

* Full twentie thousand Duckats every yeere.

[Page]Moreover, once a Bishop (boasting said,

He had Ten Thousand Priests that paid

(Some more, some lesse (by way of Rent or fines;

Each* one of them for keeping Concubines.

And he that keepes none, payes as much as he

As for his vse doth keepe one, two or three.

Al's one, the Priests must pay t'augmēt the treasure

Keepe or not keep, Whore or not Whore at pleasure.

Now judge, good Reader, have I said amisse,

Was ever any Bawdry like to this?

Pope a Alexander of that name the sixt,

With his owne childe incestuously commixt.

And Paul the third (affecting the said Game)

With his owne b daughter did commit the same:

And after with his sister tooke such course,

That he with her did doe as bad or worse.

Iohn the thirteenth, and other more, 'tis plaine

Have with their sisters and their daughters laine,

And when their stomacks have beene gone & past,

To Princes they have married them at last.

[Page]Here's Bawds of State, of high and mighty place,

Our Turnbul street poore Bawds to these are base.

But these brave doings better to disclose,

A little while Ile turne my Verse to Prose.

The forenamed Lucrece being dead, had this Epitaph bestowed on her, written by Pontanus:

Here lies Lucrece by name, but Thais in life,

The Popes child, and spouse, & yet his ownsons wife.

Besides, I found a cursed catalogue of these veneriall Caterpillers, who were suppressed with the Monasteries in England, in the time of King Henry the eight, with number of trugs, which each of them kept in those daies, as those; Christopher Iames a Monke of the Order of Saint Bennet in Canterbury, had three whores, all married women: William Abbot of Bristoll, foure: Nicholas Wbyden Priest kept foure in Windsor Castle: in the same place George Whitthorne five, Nicholas Spoter five, Robert Hunne five, Robert Daveson sixe, Richard the Prior of Maidenbeadly five; In Shuldred Monastery in Chichester Diocesse, George Walden the Prior seven, Iohn Standnep seven, Nicholas Duke five; In Bath Monastery Richard Lincombe seven, three of them married: Iohn Hill in the Cathedrall Church at Chichester but thirteen; Iohn White Prior of Bermondsey had no more but twentie: all this Rabble was found and known in England; let [Page] a man imagine then how many were not known, and what a goodly brood of Barnes were fathered upon those that never begat them: withall, if England were so stored with them, it is not to bee doubted but all the rest of the Christian world did swarme with these lecherous Locusts.

Moreover, much knavery (Bawdery I should say) may bee covered under the vaile of Auricular Confession; for the Priest having a yong prettie maid or wife at shrift, will know her disposition, groape out all her secret conveyances, and craftily underfeele her policies, and for a penance for her faults past, she is enjoyned to commit a sin present. The unloading of her Conscience (many times) proving the burthen of her belly Forty weekes after. And in this manner the most zealous Catholike, or the most jealous Italian, may bee most devoutely cornuted under the cloake of Confession and Absolution.

Besides a most pernicious Bawd is hee,

That for pooreb scraps, and a bare ten pounds fee,

Dares not his mighty Patron to offend,

Or any way his vices reprehend,

Nor preach 'gainst pride, oppression, usury,

Dice, drinke, or drabbes, vaine oathes or simony,

[Page]Nor Veniall sinne or Mortall, or nothing

That may his Worship in the Withers wring:

But every way must fit his Text and time,

To leave untoucht th' Impropriators crime:

Thus those whose functions Heaven doth signifie,

(Who should like trumpets lift their voices high)

Are mute and muzled, for a hireling price,

And so are Bawds unto their Patrons vice;

For hee's a Bawd who doth his living winne,

By hiding, or by flattring peoples sinne.

The* Prince of darknesse, King of Acheron,

Great Emperour of Styx and Phlegeton,

Cocytus Monarch, high and mighty Dis,

Who of Great Limbo-lake Commander is,

Of Tartary, of Erebus, and all

Those Kindomes which men Barathrum doe call,

Hee is the chiefest Bawd, and still he plods

To send us whoring after godlesse gods:

And by his sway, and powerfull instigation,

Hath made the world starke drunke with fornication.

For since the first Creation, never was

The least degree of Bawdry brought to passe,

But he began it, and contriv'd it still,

He layd the plot, and did the Act fulfill.

So that of all the Bawds that ever were,

The Devill himselfe the Bell away doth beare:

Yet all his whoring base Idolatrie,

Did seeme Religious zealous sanctitie.

[Page]As thus

He blinded and withdrew people so farre from the service and knowledge of the true God, that they prayed to Pomona for the encrease of their fruit, to Ceres for Corne and Graine, to Silvanus for wilde-fowle, to Bacchus for wine, to Neptune for fish, to Mars for the successe of Wares and Captaines, to Phoebus for Physicke and Musicke, to Saturne for labourers and workmen in husbandry, to Pallas for valour, to Minerva for wisdome, to Iupiter for men of state and port, to Inno for Pompe and Iewels, to Vulcan for fire and lightening, to Venus for beauty and lascivious pleasure, to Luna for calmnes and faire weather, to Pluto for riches, to Mercury for learning and eloquence, to Flora for flowers, to Proteus for disguises, to Pan for Pypers, to Eolus for winds and stormes, to Bellona for battells and conquests, to Lucina for women with child, to Faunus for Goats and Venison, to Clotho for spinning out the thread of life, to Lachesis for wynding or reeling it, and to Atropos for cutting it off: my hee led them into more ridiculous sorts of spirituall adultery, as to worship with religious adoration, Cats, Dogges, Toades, Beetles, Serpents, Fooles, Madmen, Privies Onions, Garlicke, and many other damnable inventions, not to be numbred.

Neverthelesse, whosoever will but looke into [Page] the lying Legend of Golden Gullery; there they shall finde that the poore seduced ignorant Romanists doe imitate all the idolatrious fornication of the Heathen Pagans, and Infidels; and that they put their Hee and Shee Saints, to farre more baser and ignominious offices, then these vnbeleevers of former ages did dare to put vpon their (vaine imaginarie) gods, as they make Saint Crespine a Shoomaker, and Saint Roch the Patron of Sowters and Coblers, they put Saint Wendelin to keepe sheepe, and they make Saint Pelage a Cowheard or Neatherd, Saint Antony hath the protection of their Swine, Saint Vitus or Vitellus, aelias, Saint Calfe, an exellent patron or protector to cure those that are bitten of a Spider called Terrantulla, or Phallanx. They acknowledge Saint Gertrude for an exellent Rat-catcher, and Saint Hubert for a good Dogge-keeper (some say a cunning Huntsman:) the Smiths must pray to Eloye, the Painters to Saint Luke, the Bakers must inuocate Saint Honore, the Mariners Saint Nicholas, Saint Yue is for the Lawyers, and Saint Anne to finde things that are stolne or lost, whilst Saint Leonard is the onely Saint to set prisoners at liberty, by opening the dores in the night, and make their Shackles fall off without any noyse or knocking. Besides they make Iob a Physician to cure the Pox, when as that [Page] foule disease was not knowne in any part of the world many hundred yeares after Iobs dayes; for in the yeare 1496. (Charles the eight being then the French King) the Pox was brought from Naples into France, having but a little before bin very thriftily by the Spaniards purchased from the Americans or West Indians: And therefore they doe Iob wrong to make a Mountebank of him, in ascribing cures to him beyond his skill or knowledge: but all is one for that, he must be content with his office, as Saint Valentine is with the falling sickness, Saint Roch with scabs and scurfes, Saint Sebastian with the Plague, Saint Entrope the Dropsie, Saint Genou the Gowt, Saint Petronella the Ague or any Fever, Saint Apollonia the Toothach;* Saint Romane, they say, dispossesseth Devils out of the possessed, & Saint Maturine is the mad mens Saint to cure the Frenzie. It is to bee doubted, that Physicians and Chirurgians have small takings, where all these skilfull Saints are so employed, except now and then they get a Patient by chance, when the good Saint is over-busied, or not at leasure.

Moreover, there is a great contention amongst them, to what Saint they shal commit the keeping of their Geese: some will have Saint Andoch, some Saint Gallicet, and some Saint Feriall: the [Page] businesse is very weighty, and requires mature deliberation and ripe judgement: some there are that would deprive Saint Wendoline (before named) of his keeping sheepe, and bestow the place upon Saint Woolfe, which is a very unsutable name for a Shepheard.

By this which hath been said, the Reader may perceive what a cunning Bawd the Devill is, to adulterate the true service of the eternall God with these whorish inventions. And so though I could amplifie this point to a larger extent, in describing spirituall Bawds and Bawdry, yet now I thinke fitting to avoid tediousnesse, and to treat of this subject in other garbes and fashions.

It is reported by Henry Stephens in his Apology or defence of Herodotes, the first Book, 21. Chapt. pag. 182. That a merry disposed Priest got a pretty Lasse behind the high Altar upon a good Friday in the morning, where he thought all the Hee and Shee Saints were contented to keepe Counsell, but it was knowne to the Legate of Auignion (by the intelligence of no Saint) which Legate after hee had wisely considered on what day and time, and in what place the cleanely conveiance was acted, he out of his charitie concluded a Priest to be mortall, and that flesh was fraile, for which respects (upon promise of amendment) hee was absolved and released.

[Page]Moreover great* Emperours and Kings have beene Bawdes, as Suetonius Tranquillius writes of Tiberius Caesar, that he had Cels, and Caves, and Vaults in his house, where hee had a nursery of Whores, and oftentimes would have the execrable sport committed in his presence. The Emperour Domitian followed his admirable example, and Heliogabolus went so farre beyond them in the Art of Bawdry, that he made Punies of them both. And of latter yeares a* King of Castile, called Henry the unable, because he could uot have a child by his wife to inherit after him: he kindly intreated one of his Lords to take the paines to beget an Heire for him.

There was a rich Burger of Antwerp, a Mercer by his trade, who was a Bawd to his owne wife (though it was against his will or knowledge) but I blame him not, for I doubt hee hath many more fellowes as innocent and ignorant as himselfe, but this was the case, his wife wearing Corke-shooes, was somewhat light-heel'd, and like a foule player at Irish, sometimes she would beare a man too many, and now and then make a wrong Entrance: The summe was that shee lou'd a Doctor of Physicke well, and to attaine his company shee knew no better or safer way, then to faine her selfe sicke, [Page] that he under the colour of visitation might feele her pulses, and apply such cordiall Remedies as might either ease or cure her.

In briefe, the Doctor being sent for, comes and finds the Mercer her husband walking in his shop with a neighbour of his, where after a Leash of Conges, and a brace of Baeza los manus, the Mercer told him that his Wife is a languishing sicke woman, and withall intreats him to take the paines to walke up the staires, and minister some comfort unto her. Master Doctor, who knew her disease by the Symptomes, ascends up into the Chamber to his longing Patient, staying an houre with her, applying such directions and refections, that her health was upon the sudden almost halfe recoveered; so taking his leave of her (with promise of often visitation) hee comes downe into the shop, where the guiltlesse Bawd her husband was, who demanding of the Doctor how all did above, truely quoth he, much better then when I came, but since I went up, your wife hath had two such strange violent fits upon her, that it would have grieved your very heart to have seene but part of one of them.

I my selfe doe know two men that lighted by chance into one of these houses of Iniquitie in Antwerpe, and I dare be sworne that they went to commit no carnall act, nor did commit any; but [Page] they perceiving a pretty painted peece of Punks flesh, did suspect in what house they were, the one of them taking her by the hand, did aske her some questions (wherein I thinke was not one word of God;) the other impatient that his fel'ow had ingrost all the familiarity and talke with the wench, begins to stampe, knocke and call, at which the man of the house enters, demanding, What doe ye lacke? You base rascall, quoth the other, have you no more Whores in your house, must I stand like a Iacke an Apes heere empty handed? Good sir, (quoth mine Hoast) bee patient, and I will presently send mine owne wife to waite upon you.

Nor is the skill and knowledge of a substantiall or absolute Bawd easily gotten or learned; no my Masters, there is more in the matter then so; Frist, shee is a young prettie Girle, and passeth time away in the instructions, rudiments, and documents of a Whore, till she hath attained (with many hazards) to the yeares of 30 or 35. in all which space she hath not spent her time idlely, but hath beene a creature of much use, having for the common cause, adventur'd the blemmish of her Reputation, the rigour of the Lawes, as whippings, Penance, Imprisonments, Fines, Fees to Justices Clarkes, Beadles, and such inferiour Reliques of Authoritie. Besides, her valorous combates and [Page] conflicts with Diseases, (wherein shee often approves her selfe one of the profitablest members in a Common-wealth to Physicians and Chyrurgians:) having (I say) passed all these degrees with much perill and jeopardie of her body,* then looke higher and thinke but on the shipwracke of her soule, (an adventure of a greater price then shee is aware of;) then towards the declining of her life, and that her beautie fades, What a deale of charge is shee at with sophisticated Art, White and Red, to emplayster decayed Nature? Her humilitie being such, that when her owne head is bald, shee will weare the cast haire of any hee for shee sinner, that made a voyage in a string from Tyburne, to either Heaven or Hell. And lastly, when as Art can no longer hide the sorrowed or wrinkled deformities of her over-worne Age; then (like a true wel-willer to the old trade shee hath ever followed,) Whoring having left her very unkindly before shee was vvilling to leave it: shee, (as her proper right for her long service) takes upon her the office and authority of a Bawd, and as shee was brought up her selfe, so with motherly Care her Imployment is to bring up others, wherein her paines is not small, in hyring Countrey wenches, that come up weekely with Carryers, and putting them in Fashion, selling [Page] one Maydenhead three or foure hundred times, and sometimes with great labour and difficulty shee's forced to perswade mens wiues and daughters; all which considered, a Bawd doth not get her living with so great ease as the world supposeth; nor is her adventure, paines, charge and perill to be inconsiderately slighted.

And as blabbing, babbling, taletelling, and discovering the faults and fraileties of others, is a most cōmon and evill practice amongst too many: so on the other side, the vertues of a Bawd are much illustrated and confirmed by contrary effects: For she is the maine store-house of secresie, the Maggazin of taciturnity, the closet of connivence, the inumbudget of silence, the cloakebagge of councell, and the Capcase, sardle, packe,* male, (or female) of friendly toleration. Shee is full of intolerable charity, for her whole trade and course of life is to hide and cover the faults of the greatest offenders, in which regard shee is one of the principall secretaries to the great Goddesse Venus, and one of her industrious vigilant most horrible priuie counsell, not being ignorant of the liberall Arts and Sciences, and exceedingly qualified in the seven deadly sinnes. And (for her further behoofe) shee hath and insight and can fashion her selfe to the humors of all Nations, degrees, conditions, [Page] mysteries and occupations.

First, for her knowledges in the Arts and Sciences, she hath the grounds ofa Grammar, whereby she can speake and write Amorously, fainedly, merrily, lamentably, craftily, purposely, Bawdily: these words all ending in Lye (doe make her true dealing questionable) yet her ayme is to live profitably, though her fate is to dye miserably. Her skill inb Astronomy cannot be small, for shee hath beene an often starre-gazer lying on her backe, practis'd in elevations, retrogradations, Conjunctions, and planetary revolutions; but indeed shee is more addicted to accept the Moone for her Mistresse, then the Sunne for her Master, which makes her expert in nightworkes, ever changing from quarter to quarter, not long abiding in any place: sometimes shining in Lady-like resplendant brightnesse with admiration, and suddenly againe eclipsed with the pitchy and tenebrous clouds of contempt and deserved defamation. Sometimes at the Full at Pickt-hatch, and sometimes in the Wane at Bridewell,

A Bawd is ac Logician, which is perceived by her subtill and circumventing speeches, doubtfull and ambiguous Apothegmes, double significations, intricate, witty, and cunning equivocations, (like a skilfull Fencer that casts his eye upon a mans foot, [Page] and hits him a knock on the pate) so she, by going the further about, comes the neerer home, and by casting out the Lure, makes the Tassel-gentle come to her fist.

For Rhetoricke, she must have the Theoricke and Practicke, that though the subject of her Discourse or writing be foule and deformed, yet must shee (like ad Medicine-monger, Quack-salver, that covers his bitter pils in Sugar) with the Embroidery of her Ecquence, flourish over her immodest pretences, under the inchanting and various colours of pleasure, profit, estimation, love, reputation, and many more the like.

But of all thee Arts, I think she be most unperfect in Arithmaticke; for though she hath been brought up to know Divisions & Multiplications, yet shee hath traded but by Retaile, altogether in Fractions and broken Numbers, so that her accounts were seldome or never to number her dayes, not caring for the Past or the Future, her mind (like a Diall) alwayes fixed upon the Present given much to over and under-reckonings, for at fourty yeeres old she would be but twenty one, & at threescore she will be no lesse then fourescore: so that the marke being out of her mouth, we must take the Apocryphall account of her age from her owne Arithmaticke without any further warrant.

[Page] Cornelius Agrippa approves a Bawd for an excellenta Geometrician for devising engines to climbe into windowes, as ladders of Ropes, or such like, to scale the castle of comfort in the night, or the making of Picklocks or false keyes, wherein the Bawds care and providence is great, in greazing & oyling locks, bolts and hinges, to avoid noyse, she knowes her Angles, Triangles, quadrangles, squares, rounds, circles, semicircles and centers, her altitudes, longitudes, latitudes and dimensions; yet for all this skill of hers, she hath much adoe to live squarely, according to Geometricall rules, or to live within any reasonable Compasse.

As forb Musicke, it is to be conjectured by her long practise in Prickesong, that there is not any note above Ela, or below Gammoth, but she knows the Diapason: (a Bawd is old dog at a Hornepipe. her chiefest Instrument is a Sackbut, her female minikins do bring in her Meanes, and her Trebles, the Tenor of all is that her selfe is the Base.) Besides, there are many pretty provocatory Dances, as the Kissing dance, the Cushin dance, the Shaking of the sheets, and such like, which are important instrumentall causes, whereby the skilfull hath both clients and custome.

c Poetry many times (though shee understand it not) doth her as good service; for the most of our [Page] great Bawds are diligently waited on by scurrilous oylie sonneting, practicall, Poeticall, Panegyricall Panders, quaint trencher Epigrammatists, hungry and needy Anagrammongers, their conceits being either commending or provoking Bawdry: as one being requested by a Gentleman to invent him a poesie for a Ring which hee ment to give his Love, the conceit was: Have you any Logges to cleave?

a Painting and graving are now and then profitable servants to Bawds, as the naked Pictures of Venus, and Diana and her darlings; Aretine, and divers other in that kinde can testifie; but commonly all shee-Bawds, are or have beene painters themselves or painters of themselves, by which bold practice they are bold, adventrous, impudent, and audacious, fearing no colours.

As forb Physické and Chirurgery, she hath beene so much practis'd vpon, that by long continuance, shee's a most excellent Empericke, so that a man need not doubt but an ancient professed Bawd can play the Mountebanke.

Moreover, many old Bawds are skil'd inc Palmestry or Chiromancy, by looking into the hand of a man or woman, or Phisiognomy, and Metoposcopi, in viewing of the face or forehead, by which shee professeth to tell the parties how many husbands or wives they shall have, how long they shall live, [Page] when they are neere a good or bad turne; but above all, her skill is much credited to helpe yong women breed and fructifie, so that if shee be as barren as a Stockfish, yet the matronly medicines and instructions of this wise cunning woman, will in a little time make her encrease with a vengeance, and multiply with a mischiefe.

Besides her skill in these forenamed Arts and sciences, she hath an insight and practice into all Mysteries and manuall trades; she can imitate a deceitfulld Mercer in setting out her ware, faire to the eye, and false in the dye, with an outside of glorious glosse, and an inside of rotten decayed drosse, more for pride or pleasure, then for providence or profit.

Like a bolda Grocer, she cares not a Figge for any man, she knows flesh is fraile, yet she hath many Reasons to live by, she runns her race long, and she is able to Pepper as many as have any dealing with her; tooth Likorish, tongue Lickorish, &c. Shee knowes a bribe to a Catchpole is a sufficient as an Almond for a Parrot, to free her from the heate of the Mace. Master Clove at the signe of the Sugar-loafe, is a sweet youth, whose Candied Visitation will keepe her estate Currant till age and diseases weare her quite out of date.

b A young rich heire newly come to his lands [Page] or portion, is a Bawds Broadcloth, whom she measures out in parts, I will not tell you with what yard, but I thinke no London measure, till in the end, onely a poore Remnant remaines; her meaner Merchandise are Tradesmen, and poore Servingmen; these serve for course Kersies, Bayes, Cottons, and Pennistones, to line her inside with Sacke, Hot waters, and Aqua vitae.

Though shee live after the flesh, all isc Fish that comes to the Net with her; shee is a cunning Angler, and gets her living by hooke or by crooke, shee hath bayts for all kinde of Frye: A great Lord is her Groneland Whale, a Countrey Gentleman is her Cods-head, a rich Citizens sonne is her Sows'd Gurnet, or her Gudgeon, A Puritan is her Whiting-mopp, her Lobster is a Scarlet Townsman, and a severe Iustice of Peace is her Crab; her meanest Customers are Sprats and Pilchards, whilest the Puncke is her Salt Eele, and the Pander her Sharke & Sword-fish; And though shee deale most in Scorpio, yet shee holds correspondencie with Pisces, for they are both Signes that attend upon Venus: Friday is her day, and a day of doome to more Fish then all the dayes in the weeke beside. And Fish by nature is provocatory, as appeares by the chaste lives of fasting fish-eating Fryers and Nuns, whose notorious (qusia) [Page] meritorious continency is touched partly afore.

She differs from thed Goldsmith in the Touch, the Test, and the Weight, yet she puts the best side of her ware outward; shee casts and hammers her wenches into all fashions; she hath them burnished, polish'd, punsh'd and turn'd, and if any of them by a fall, or too much heat bee bruis'd, crack'd, or broken, shee can soder them together againe, and make them marketable.

There is scarce any Art, Mystery, Trade or Manuall Occupation, but a Bawd hath a reference or allusion to it, or it to her. Therefore to runne division through them all, would be long labour to little purpose: In which respects having spoken of a few, Ile skip over the rest to avoyd tediousnesse; and to free my selfe from the imputation of partialitie, I will at last allude her to a Water-man; for of all Degrees, Languages, Tongues, Nations, Ages, Sexes, Functions, and Fraternities are welcome and well entertain'd to the one and the other (provided that they bring money in their purses.) And as the Waterman rowes one way, and looks another, so a Bawds words and meaning doe very seldome goe together.

Our five Senses are the Cinque Ports of Bawdry, each one in his office being the Hearts Baud: The Hearing conveyes Tunes, Tales, Rymes, [Page] Riddles, Songs, Sonnets, and Madrigals. The Sigh [...] wanders, searcheth, seekes, finds and brings hom [...] (into the very bedchamber of the heart) amoro [...] actions: provocatory gestures, effeminate glances, alluring lookes, pictures of prostitution, and veneriall vanities. The Taste playes the Bawd with both Art and Nature, and searcheth through the Earth, Seas and Skies for variety of temptation poore and innocent Lamstones, Potatoes, Eringoes Crabs, Scallops. Lobsters, Wilkes, Cockles, Oysters, Anchoves and Caveare, Cock-sparrowes, Coxcombe-pyes, and all manner of feathered fowle from the Eagle to the Wren, doe waite vpon the Taste, and the Taste attends the appetite. The Snul is the senting Bawd, that huffs and snuffs up and downe, and hath the game alwayes in the winde, that is a right smell-smocke sense, who is wonderfully pleased to be led by the nose, can hunt dry foot, and smell out venery nimbler then a pinchgut Vsurer will nose out a feast.

Touching or Feeling is a very merry Bawd and though a man or woman can neither Heare, See, Taste or Smell, yet Feeling may remaine: It is the last sense that keeps vs companie, and were it not for feeling, all the rest of the sences were but senceslesse.

And thus much more in excuse of a Bawd, though shee live by one of the Seaven Deadly Sinnes [Page] which is Lechery; No man can deny Pride too be [...]other of the said Septarchy, yet the Mercer, the Silkeman, the Embroyderer, the Drawer, the Cutter, the Taylor & the Feather-maker, the new fashion-monger, the Divell and all thrive by Pride, and might shut up shop, if Pride were not.

Gluttonie and Drunkennesse is another of the brood, yet were it not for superfluous, voluptuous gurmandizing, and extraordinary swinish swilling and drinking; the Wine-Merchant, the Vintner, the Malt-man, the Brewer, the Tapster, Poulterer, the sellers of Eringoes and Potatoes, and the Cooke would have but very cold takings.

Couetousnesse is another whelpe of the same kind, yet were it not for ravenous oppression, devouring Extortion, biting Vsury, Bribery, Detoir, and Coozenage, Dives would not, or could not fare deliciously and bee clad in Purple, nor the hackney Coach bee in such common request.

Envie is a high point of State, and he is no perfect Politician that repines not at the happinesse of all men (but himselfe:) commonly it gives due attendance in Princes Courts, and feedes vpon the detraction of Noble actions; It eates into honour as a Canker doth into the best and choysest fruit, yet doth it live, thrive, weare good cloathes, is esteemed a talent of high wisedome and valour.

Wrath is a blood-hound of the aforesaid kennell, [Page] yet Armourers, Cutlers, Fencers, Chyrgians, and Bone-setters would bee idle, and vnimployment and meanes, if Wraeth did not overcome Patience, and Madnesse dispossesse Discretion and Reason.

Sloth is the last of the list, (and wel may it come last, because it is the laziest) yet is it a Gentleman like quality, and a Lady-like disposition to be idle and live upon the sweat of others; Manuall trade or handicrafts are counted base and mercenary, a good industry is contemptible; laudable endevour Mechanicall, and to take paines and labour, is drudgery and meere slavery.

Thus by Pride a man may come to bee one of the Masters of his Parish; by Gluttony and Drunkennesse, he may hap to mount to a place of reputation and worship; by Covetousnesse he may get a damnable deale of wealth, and be accounted a good man; by Envy, he may be esteemed conceited, politike, grave and wise: by Wrath hee may gain the titles of valiant and resolute; and by Sloth and Idlenesse hee may be perfectly knowne for a Ge [...]man:* And is it not a wonder, that these sixe deadly sinnes, should bee so uncharitable to the seventh, as to rob it of all earthly reputation, where [Page] if a man doe consider them rightly, there is never a barrell better Herring; nor doth the Bawd live in a worse estate or condition, than the Proudest Gluttonous Drunkard, or the most Covetous, Envious wretch: The Wrathfull bloudy villaine, or the idle slothfull drone, are clogd with vices as vile and abominable as a Bawd, yet for all this, the purblind partiall world doth hugge, embrace, cherish and reverence all these enormities, onely a Bawd, a silly painfull, serviceable Bawd, is held odious and contemptible.

Commonly most of the shee-Bawds have a peculiar priviledge more than other women: for generally they are not starveling creatures, but well larded and embost with fat, so that a Bawd hath her mouth three stories of Chinnes high, and is a well-fed Embleme of plentie; and though shee bee but of small estimation, yet is she alwayes taken for a great woman amongst her neighbours.

* On former Shrove-Tuesdayes, when the unruly Rabble did falsely take upon them the name of London Prentices, then two or three thousand of those boot-haling pillaging Rascalls, vvould march madly to the habitations of the most famous Bawds, where they would robustiously venter, breaking open Doores, battring downe Wals, [Page] tearing downe tyles, pulling downe windowes, rending Trunkes, Chestes, Cupboords, Tables, and Bedsteads in pieces; ripping and embowelling Bolsters and Featherbeds, ravishing her mayds or stale virgins, spoyling all they stole not, and stealing what they liked, beating the grave Bawd, and all her female vermine, most unmanly and vnmannerly. In all which uncivill civill hostilitie, the singular patience of the Bawd, is worthy admiration; not giving any of these landsharkes an ill word, or shewing any signe of anger or desire of revenge, but intreating the most rough-hewd Rogues in the company, with the stiles of honest worthy Gentlemen with I pray you, I humbly desire you, I heartily-beseech you, to asswage your fury, appease your wrath mollifie your anger, suppresse your ire, mitigate your rage. These and like Phrases a modest ancient Bawd would discreetly vtter to her greatest enemies, rendring good words for bad deedes, when they were doing or had done to her all the mischiefes before named, nor ever after would shee offer to take any legall course, as to cause them to bee brought before a Iustice, whereby the Law might in some sort give her satisfaction. In which sufferance the great patience of a Bawd is remarkable.

We doe esteeme a Fountaine, Well, or Spring to be the more cleere from poyson, if a Toad, [Page] Newt, or a snake, be in either of them, for we imagine that those venimous creatures doe sucke or extract all the contagion of that Christaline Element into themselves.a In the like nature, a Bawd is the snuffers of the Common-wealth, and the most wholesome or necessary Wheele-barrow or Tumbrell, for the close conveyance of mans luxurious nastinesse, and sordid beastiality. Ravens, Kites, Crowes, and many other birds of prey, are tolerated to live unhurt, not for any good that is in themselves, but because they doe good offices in devouring and carying away our Garbage and noysome excrements, which they live by; and if they were not our voluntary Scavengers, we should be much annoyed with contagious savours of these corrupted offals. These are the right paternes of an industrious Bawd, for shee pickes her living out of the laystall on dunghil of our vices; if she thrive and grow fat, it is with the Merdurinous draffe of our imperfections, (for shee is seldome beholding to an honest man for so much as a meales meat) she robs not the vertuous of any part of their virtue, she lives only by the vicious, and in this sort she is an executioner of sinners, and in the end gives the most wicked cause to repent, leaving them such aking remembrance in their joynts, that their very bones rattle in their skins.

[Page]In other trades, when Apprentices come out of their yeares, they are allowed to set up for themselves, and to have other Apprentices under them. He that hath been a Grammar Scholler, when hee commeth to ripenesse of learning and judgement, will thinke himselfe able and sufficient to bee a Schoolemaster, and to have Schollers under him: and why should notb Whores have a Mistresse of their owne dealing-trade, that they may have Apprentices under their nurture and discipline, who may by their obedience in their minoritie, be advanced to command others in the same mysterie or occupation? And therfore the law (in this point) favouring their vocation, why should any Consorious Cato plead the Law for banishing of any Bawdes?

Why should any Ecclesiasticall Lawes in Forraigne Countreyes, debarre Bawds and their disciples from the Sacrament; as if they were not i [...] Charity, when as they are knowne to be so Catholikely charitable, that they extend theirc loue to all without exception, and are ready enough to forgive all the world, knowing themselves to be such great offenders, that they much need forgivenesse?

Wel fared the Common-wealth plotted to Plato, who would have no woman appropriate [Page] to any man (it seemes he was a great enemie against inclosures, who would have all thus lye common) his reason was very Phylosophicall, the like whereof is not to bee found either in Don Quixot, or Sir Thomas Moores Vtopia, namely, that when no child had any proper father, every man would love every childe as his owne, and so the whole City should be happy in a Combination of an universall love equally extended to all. If so wise a man as Plato, was not ashamed to make himselfe the universall Bawd of a whole Common-wealth, why should any of our unlearned neighbours that have read farre fewer Bookes then hee, bee ashamed to bee accounted procuring Panders in one house, in the skirts of a City, for the Platonicall Conjunction of their neighbours within a street or two adjoyning.

* In Italy and most civill Countreys, it is counted a most vncivill curiosity to aske any man (though after long acquaintance) of what religion he is, or whence he commeth, or whither he goeth, or whether hee bee a marryed man, or intend to marry. Who then more civill or fairely mannered then the Bawdes: or they never put any of their customers to the racke to confesse, nor doe they torture their guests with the sawcy inquiry of whence come you? How long will you tarry in Towne? Have you a wife at home Or are you a loose Batchelor? [Page] are you a Gentleman? a Merchant, or Tradesman? are you a Catholike, or reformed? the Bawd I say, is so civill, that shee never will aske any of these questions; one thing onely she studieth and practiseth, which is diligently to demand* whether a man have any mony in his purse, which is no impertinent question: for the Law doth authorize a Landlor to demand his Rent vpon the ground where it is due, although sometimes hee lets his tenant enjoy his house or land a quarter, of halfe a yeere before he receive any rent: A waterman sweats and lands his fare before he lookes for mony. The Host suffers his guest to eate his meate, before anon, anon, with the white Apron comes in with thus much to pay, and yee are welcome; no man at any game takes up his winnings before the Game be wonne; an Vsurer takes no forfeit before the day of payment be part; but the Bawd in her demand is more wise and provident, then all these trades and functions, for shee like a Butcher takes present pay for her flesh, she will be sure to have her wages before she afford you her penny-worth, you shall not drinke at her muddy Well before you pay for it. Shee knowes that Hope and Desire of that which is to come, is a better paymaster, then grudging remembrance of fruition of that which is past. Herein shee hath good examples to follow of no meane vocatious, the learned Physician and [Page] Chirurgian would be loth to exspect their reward till the cure be performed; the honestest Lawyer would plead but coldly if he might receive no Fees till his clients cause were judged. A Fencer will fight but faintly if he should take no mony before his prize were plaid & the Players on their Publike stage would act very poorly if their audience did not pay at their first comming in.

The greedy haling and pulling of other mens goods, or insatiate appetite to feed, ingurgitate, guzzle and swill, are apparant markes or tokens of Intemperance; who then more Temperate then a Bawd? for* shee is so full of modestie that she lives onely vpon what people doe give her: Men doe voluntarily bring her revenues to her, shee kindly takes no more then shee can get, nor receives any thing but what is brought her, and as the Taylor steales not at all, because men do frely (and vnconstrained) deliver their goods to him; even so, the Bawd cannot be taxed with depriving any man of more then he idley parts withall.

Wise men have said, that vertue hath no great praise where there is no allurement or temptation to vice, and therefore have accounted it but small mastery for a Iudge to be uncorrupt where there are no bribes stirring, for a poore Clowne to bee humble that hath neither money nor Cloathes to bee proud of; for a Drunkard to bee sober where is no [Page] drinke but faire water; for a notorious thiefe to refraine from filching, where there is not any thing to steale; or for one to live chast in a Monasterie or Nunnery: But here is the eminency of abstinence, and the true praise of vertue, for a man to fast at a delicious feast; to be deere from bribes or gentle rewards, where oppressions, extortions, strifes and contentions doe continually grow and multiply: To be sober and thirsty where wines and strong drinkes are plenty in variety; to be true and trustie amongst inestimable Iewels, vncountable Treasure, or untold Gold. These are superarogating vertues, which though many boast of, yet few attaine to: now the Bawd lives in the store-house of libidinous confraternity, in the shop of Venery, in the Garden of lacivious pleasure, in the Ever-growing and Flourishing field of vanity; amongst those that practise the excesse of Luxury, none so neere within ken of wantonnesse and dalliance; shee admits into her house men flourishing in yeeres, hot in their desires, and willing in performance, yet (for ought I know)* a Bawd was never accused for cōmitting fornication in her owne person, (which is a rare marke of abstinence) for who can produce out of any record, that a Bawd was ever carted for playing the Whore?

And this is her comfort when she is carted, that [Page] shee rides when all her followers goe on foot, that every Dunghill payes her homage, and every Taverne looking-glasse powres bountifull reflection vpon her, the streets and windowes are full of spectators of her pompe. Shouts, acclamations and ringing on well tuned Banbury kettle-drums, and barbarous Basins, proclaime and sound forth her triumphant progresse, whilest shee rides embrodered all over like a Lady of the soyle, conducted in state out of the Easterne suburbs, to set vp her trade fresh and new in the West.

As concerning Religion or matters of* Conscience, shee is a creature that will never runne mad with beating her braines in any point of such high quality. For whereas it is a speech or proverbe, to say, that an extortioner, vsurer, or corrupted Magistrate hath a Large Conscience, so on the other part, it is a saying, that such a man or woman hath no Conscience: now betweene these extremes of large and none, the Bawd doth observe the mediocrity or meane: for to say that shee hath a large catholike or universall Conscience, to entertaine all comers, or all that would come to her, is false, for her conscience is bounded, caged, and imprisoned, & limited in any man purse or pocket, of what estate, condition or Religion soever. On the contrary, to say that shee hath no Conscience at all, [Page] it were to doe her an open injury, for she doth extend her entertainement, to as many as please to please her, and her charity doth alwayes stretch as farre as any mans money will reach: And to speake the truth, shee hath great reason on her side; for if a man let his Horse to hire, or Asse to marker, hee will looke to be paid for the travell or paines of his Beast; and shall a Bawd let her Soule to the Devill for nothing? A Knight of the Poast will not hazzard damnation (and his eares to the Pillory to boote) but (if hee be wise) hee will be well paid for his labour. Will any great man oppresse and undoe a whole Country, and (with the losse of the Kingdome of Heaven) purchase an accursed portion of Earth, but that hee will have terrestriall Angels minister to him here, making no account of the celestiall hereafter? And shall the Conscience of a Bawd be Pinfolded so straitly, that her Soule shall be of losse esteeme than a Hackney man makes of his Horse or Asse? or a swearing and forswearing Rogue doth of his eares? no, no my Masters, shee is wiser than so, shee thinkes it is a long journey to Hell, and therefore she doth thristily provide to save charges, that other men shall pay for her passage or Coach-hire: shee will not travell so farre upon her owne cost shee is so well beloved, that every one of her customers (will or must) give her [Page] something toward the reckoning, she hath more policie in her than to be damn'd for nothing; and she scornes to usurpe a place in Hell without just title or desert.

As for her Religion, it is of the same piece as her Conscience is, there went but a paire of sheeres betweene; with the Papist shee will be Ceremonious for the* Crosse, with the Puritane, shee will be precise, casting her eyes up, when her thoughts are downe, and accept the* Pyle; shee hath so brought up her schollers, that the name of God is too often in their mouthes, for they will sweare either with or without occasion; and as concerning maters of truth, shee hath brought them up so, that they will lye with any man. Most of them are of the sect of the Family of Love, they differ onely in this, the Familists doe hold opinion, that onely when the husband sleeps, that the wife may take as much liberty as a Cat, to play, &c. but the Bawd doth allow a larger toleration, and admits either man or woman to have accesse, and use their exercise both sleeping and waking. Shee is indeed addicted to any Religion, or all, or none, no further than her ease and profit doth incite her, for she knowes that charity is a good huswife, and will begin her owne work at home first: In which respect a Bawd holds [Page] a high point of Doctrine, to love her selfe better then she doth all the world besides: and in this she differs much from a Romane Catholike, that she builds not vpon her Workes, or hath any hope to be saved by her merits. And should persecution come, she will be no Martyr, she will neither hang for one religion, or burne for another, shee knowes that she came a raw creature into the world, and her resolution is, that neither religion or conscience shall send her roasted out of it.

And thus I would have the Reader to consider; that the paines that J have taken in this description of a Bawd, is more then I would willingly doe for the honestest woman that dwels betweene Smithfield-barres and Clerkenwell, and I know that there is not any of the trade so ingratefull, but that if my selfe or any friend of mine have occasion to vse them, they will doe their best for me, and goe as neere as they can to take our money. Neither have I discoursed of any vpstart new fangled bable or toy, but of an ancient solid, reall, and lasting thing, for when all trades are trade-falne and broken, a Bawd may set up with little worth, or a thing of naught, and many times her lucke is so fortunate, that she will* extract out of sinne and wickednesse, good money, good cloathes, good meat, and almost good any thing, but good conscience: [Page] but that is but a poore beggerly vertue, which her contrary nature cannot agree withall, for shee knowes by old experience that it hath vndone many, and that they are accounted none of the wisest, that make any account or reckoning of it.

I am sorry that I have not dedicated this Booke to some great Patron or Patronesse: but the world is so hard to please, that I thinke it an easier matter to displease all, then every way fully to please one; for I did lately write a small Pamphlet in the praise of cleane Linnen, which I did dedicate to a neat, spruce, prime, principall and superexellent Landresse, and shee in stead of protecting my labours, or sheltring my good and painfull study, doth not onely expresse her liberality in giving me nothing, but also shee depraves and deprives me of that small tallent and portion of wit and Poetry which nature hath given or lent me; most untruely affirming and reporting, that that Pamphlet was the invention of a grave and learned friend of mine, (whose imployments are so urgent and eminent, and whose capacitie is so mature and approved) that not one line, word, sillable, or letter is in that poore toy, but it is so farre unlike a wiseman, that they all, and every one, doe most truely and obediently call, Iohn Taylor, Father.

But belike she hath learned some frugall quallities, of some who are more honoured and worshiped, [Page] then honorable or worshipfull, who take it for a point of thrifty wisdom to discomend wher they doe not meane to reward. It is a kind of policy, under which many better labours then mine have suffred persecution and Martyrdome; and belike my unkind Patronesse is ambitious to follow the example of her betters. But I would have her to know, that if shee had but gratefully accepted my Booke of Cleane Linnen, that then I would have cudgeld and canvasde my Muse, I would have rowz'd my spirits, belabour'd my Invention, beaten my braines, thump'd, bumbasted, strapadoed, lambski'nd, and clapperclaw'd my Wits, to have mounted her praise one and thirtie yards (London measure) beyond the Moone. But ingratiude is the poyson of industry, & detraction is the destruction of good endevours, for the which sinnes of hers, I will allot her no other punishment but this, that shee shall remaine as shee was and is, the true wife to an honest Cobler, A cleanly, trusty, chast, loving and well-beloved Landresse; whom (when the fates and destinies shall deprive Chancery-Lane of) then many polluted and slovenly Linnen soylers shall lament in soule bands, blacke cuffes, and mourning shirts.

a As Sloth and idlenesse are vices discommended in all Lawes and Common-wealths, being enormites [Page] of that high nature and vile condition that they have ruined whole Kingdomes, Cities, families, and many particular persons; so on the contrary, diligence, industry and carefull vigilancy, are qualities that doe not onely erect States and Commonwealths, but they doe also conserve and preserve whomsoever shall put them in use and practice: who then is more vigilant or industrious then a diligent Bawd, shee is none of the seven Sleepers, nay she carefully watcheth whilst others sleepe, shee takes paines for the pleasure of many, shee is the true Embleme or Image of security, her eyes like carefull & trusty scouts or spies doe foresee & prevent the danger of Mr Busiman the Constable with his ragged, rusty regiment. Moreover, shee is not like a ship bound for Groneland, which must saile but in summer, or a pot of ale wth a roast, which is onely in winter: no let the winde blow where it will, her care is such, that it brings her prize & purchase all seasons, herb pinkes are fraughted, her Pinnaces are man'd, her friggors are rig'd (from the beakhead to the Poope) and if any of her vessels be boorded by Pyrats, and shot betwixt wind & water, they are so furnished with engines, that theyle send them packing with a pox, or else blow them quite up with a Devils name: there is not a poynt in the compasse but the skilfullc Bawd observes, if the wind be North or North-east, [Page] she expects profits out of the Low-countries, from Germany, Denmarke, Norway, and sometimes a prize from Scotland; if at South or S. west, then her hopes are from France; but Spaine & Italy doe seldome or never faile her; And let it blow high or low, the Englishman is neere on all occasions. Shee hath not bin much accused for receiving uncustomed goods, for to speak the truth, she will harbour no ventred commodity in her warehouse; & if the Informer or Constable doe light upon one of her conceal'd dryfats, Punchions, fardils or (naughtie) packs, and having seiz'd it by his office, & honestly laid it up safe in the storehouse of Bridewel, yet the Bawd wil so cōpound in the busines, that for a smal toy, and a little sufferance, she'l redeeme the Commodity & have her ware again in her owne hands.

d A Bawd is no deceiver of her customers, for what she promiseth shee will performe, as for example, If shee take a fee to helpe a man to a Whore shee will not cheat him and bring him an honest woman; a bargaines a bargaine, and shee will not saile you in a tittle: shee plainly and openly shewes her selfe what shee is, shee doth not dissemble or hide her function from her clyents, under the veile of hypocrysie, and for her creatures that live under her,e shee hath taught them their Art whereby [Page] they may live another day, when shee is dead and rotten, and as they have their maintenance by her instruction, & under her protection, so it is fit that in requitall of her paines, she should pick a revenue out of their commings in; shee hath good presidents out of famous Authors for it: an old brave fellow tooke great paines in teaching of his Cuthorse, and the beast was so thankfull for it, that hee got his masters provender, and his owne both, many yeeres after. If a man teach an Ape to doe trickes, the honest Ape will maintaine him for it; I have seene a Hare get her master and dames living, with playing on a Tabor. The very Baboones are grave examples in this kind, Tumblers boyes, (and sometimes their wives) doe teach us this duty; and the ignorant Puppets doe allow their maker and masters, meat, drinke, and cloath. For mine owne part, If I teach my man to row, I will have for my paines the greatest part of the profit. If I dig or plow and cast my Seed into the ground, I will expect the benefit of the Crop: If I plant or grasse, I should thinke I had but hard measure, if I should not feed vpon the fruit of my labour: By this consequence it is reason that a Bawd should reape where she hath sowne, and eate, and live vpon such fruit as shee hath planted.

To close up all, the Summe of all is this,

I'le end my Booke as Ovid ended his.

[Page]So long as on the Poles the spangled

firmament shall whirle,

So long as Procreation shall

beget a Boy or Girle,

So long as winter shall be cold,

or Summer shall be hot,

So long as poverty and spight

shall be true Vertues lot,

When Phoebus in the West shall rise

and in the East shall set,

When children on (their mothers)

their owne fathers shall beget;

Then shall this Booke, or Bawd lye dead,

and never till that day,

Shall Booke or Bawd, or Bawd or Booke,

be scarse, if men will pay.

Till Sun and Moone shall cease to shine,

and all the World lye wast;

So long his booke, or else a Bawd,

I'me sure, so long shall last.

FINIS.

Notes

*

Witnesse my paper Boat.

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*

Hen. Smith in his Treat. of Herodot. cap. 38 pag 303.

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*

Cornelius Agrippa in his vanity of Sciences.

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*

Idem. a Lucrece was first maried to her own brother the sonne of Pope Aleaxander the sixt, she being daughter to the said pope, and daughter in law to him by the marriage with his son. And being concubine to the said Pope, he caused her after his sonne her husbands death, to be married to three princes one after another: First to Duke Iohn Sforza. Secondly, to Lewis sonne to Alphonfus King of Arragon. Thirdly, to Alphonsus D.Est Duke of Ferara. b Her name was Constancia, she was married to a Duke named Sforza, but the Pope her father poysoned her, because he could not lawfully enioy her. Also for the like be poysoned his sister.

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b

A flattering hireling Preacher, is a Bawd to the vices of his surly Patron, and an hypocriticall conniver at the crying sinnes of his Audience.

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*

The Devill is the chiefe Bawd.

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*

A Glister of Holy water I thinke, would better drive out the Devill.

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*

Emperours have beene Bawdes.

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*

A King of Castile, or Spaine, Bawd to his owne wife.

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*

No toleration.

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*

A necessary male for a man to trusse up his trinkets is.

↵

a

A Bawd a Gramarian.

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b

An Astronomer.

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c

A Logician.

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d

Mounthink, Rarearcher, or Landloper.

↵

e

Arithmatick.

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a

Geometry.

↵

b

Musicke.

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c

Poetry.

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a

Painting.

↵

b

Physicke and Chirurgery.

↵

c

Palmestry and Fortune-telling.

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d

Mercer

↵

a

Grocer.

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c

Fish-mongers and Fishermen.

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d

Goldsmith.

↵

*

All vices are in high account and great respect, but onely Bawds occupation: yet many men have an itching desire in private, to that which he will condemne in publike.

↵

*

The patience of a Bawd.

↵

a

The necessity of a Bavvd.

↵

b

The equity of a Bawd.

↵

c

The charity of a Bawd.

↵

d

The Philosophy of a Bawd.

↵

*

The civility of a Bawd.

↵

*

The temperance of a Bawd.

↵

*

The chastity of a Bawd.

↵

*

The conscience and religion of a Bawd.

↵

*

Of mens money.

↵

*

Crosse and Pyle.

↵

*

A Bawd is an excellent Chimmist.

↵

a

The industry and vigilancy of a Bawd.

↵

b

Or Punckes.

↵

c

A Bawd a skilfull Navigaton.

↵

d

The plaine dealing of a Bawd

↵

e

A Bawd hath common sence and reason to take her part or share in her profession.

↵

§

§

[Page]

[Page]

[figure]

A BAWD. A vertuous Bawd, a modest Bawd: As Shee Deserves, reproove, or else applaud.

Written by JOHN TAYLOR.

Printed at London for Henry Gosson. 1635.

To the neither Noble or Ignoble, Lord or Lady, kind or cruell, learned or ignorant, curteous or currish, Christian or Barbarian, Man or Woman, rich or poore: but to all and every one in generall and particular.

[Page]

[Page]

MOnsieur, and Madam Hydra, to your many Heads and varietie of Censures I have made bold to dedicate a poore, harmelesse, modest, honest, and innocent Bawd; I know great persons of worth and Honour, are daily so visited with penurious shreds of Schollership, fragments of Hexameters and Pentameters, scraps of Poetry, the scum and dregs of wit, and the froth and lees of wisdome: One salutes my Lords Lordship at Breakfast with a Funerall Elegie, lamentably written, and is most miserably rewarded for his kindness. Another hunts out his VVorships ungentlemanly Knighthood, (having most intolerably be laboured his name with an Acroflicke or Anagram) which out of his vacuitie of worthinesse hee rewards with not a peny. A third hath belyed such a Lady or Gentlewomans Beautie and qualities, in most abominable fashion, setting her forth for faire and vertuous; for the which hee is rewarded according to the subject he wrote of, and his owne demerits, with as much as comes to nothing. For these and some other respects, I thought it not fit to desire the patronage of any one person in patticular, [Page] it being a subject that is common to all, for all, or any. At men are dispersed universally through the VVorld, so a Bawd, being an universall creature, whose function is publikely scattered, I thought it not pertinent or accomodating, that she should be privately protected by any. Therefore as she hath beene and is for al, so I dedicate her to all, knowing that all are better able to reward the Poet, than one alone. And this is further to advertise the Reader, that where I doe speake of Spirituall Bawdes, Bawdry, Adultery, or Fornication, that I have avoided prophanitie, obscenity, scurrilitie, and all manner of incivility or indecencie; not medling with Religion at all, but with a pitiful derision, and merry reprehension, explaining the abuses, foppish and sottish corruptions, that like so many Cankers or Caterpillers have and doe dayly eate, consume and putrifie both the Puritie and Pietie of that Religion which boalts it selfe to be most Primitive and Catholike. For the other part of this Booke, or Bawd, shee is altogether civill or temporall, being not troubled so much as with one good Ecclesiastical word, but merely Paradoxicall; setting foorth the rare and singular vertues of a Bawd; wherein if any of my Readers can picke any pleasure, it is on apparant signe they have some wit, and if reape any profit, let them either thanke me in words, or else revvard me with silence.

Yours so farre, and no further then you are mine,

IOHN TAILOR.

§

§

[Page]

A Common Whore With all these graces grac'd, Shee's very honest, beautifull and chaste.

Written By IOHN TAYLOR

Printed at London for Henry Gosson. 1635.

Information about this book

Title statement

A bavvd A vertuous bawd, a modest bawd: as shee deserves, reproove, or else applaud. Written by John Taylor.

Taylor, John, 1580-1653.

Edition statement

1635

Publication

Publisher

Text Creation Partnership,

Place of publication

Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) :

Date

2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1).

ID [DLPS]

A13421

ID [STC]

STC 23731

ID [STC]

ESTC S111351

ID [EEBO-CITATION]

99846713

ID [PROQUEST]

99846713

ID [VID]

11700

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This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal. The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.

Series

Early English books online.

Notes

(EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13421)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11700)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1118:10)

Source

— A bavvd A vertuous bawd, a modest bawd: as shee deserves, reproove, or else applaud. Written by John Taylor., Taylor, John, 1580-1653..

Extent

[48] p.

[By Augustine Mathewes?] for Henry Gosson,. Printed at London :: 1635.. (With a title-page woodcut.) (Printer's name conjectured by STC.) (Signatures: A-C.) (Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library.)

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