How a yonge Gentilman may behaue himselfe in all companies, and be prepared for ordinary entertainments, and to get a good oppinion and credit among his betters.
Chap. 1.

FIrst hee hath to consider, that the lacke of good behauiour, which is a comely audacitie, with out a sausie presumption (which argueth discréete iudgement and wisedome) maketh his inferiour to be his equal, and ma­keth his equall his better, till himselfe hath attayned not only the habit of béeing the like, but the time to make himselfe know to be the like. Therefore if he shall light in the company of any, whose liuing and birth is worse then his owne, and yet perceyueth the other for his wisedome and grauitie to be well estee­med of by others, it becommeth the yonge Gentleman to giue him the place (or at least with instance to offer it him) but yet with such a modest audacitie, mingled with a smiling grace, and curteous spéeche, neither too lowde nor whispering, as the rest of the company may well perceiue: it is the vertues, and not the man that is preferred, and that it is offered rather of a curteous disposition, then of a shéepishe simplicitie, which wilbe the better vnderstanded if he shall vtter some familier spéech in yelding the place at the doore, as thus.

[Page 2]I pray you goe, for I looue to follow the steppes of mine elders. Or thus:

You must néedes goe, for I cannot away to goe for­most. Or thus.

On, on I pray you, you bee the next the doore. Or thus:

If you goe not wee shall striue all day, for I will not. Or thus:

You make too mutch adoe for so small a matter: And at the placing at the table, as thus:

Will you syt sir, and I wilbe next you? Or thus:

Not I by your leaue. Or thus:

Such a one will needes haue you by him. Or thus:

You shall not rule me till you come to your owne house. Or thus:

The place is fitter for you then for me. Or thus.

Goe too, shall we striue all day like women.

And if it be one that be of great estimation, either for office, or ancientie, and will yet of too much curiosi­tie refuse the place, then it shalbe best to sit downe first, but to take a lower place either on the other side, or on the same side. But there (by the way) it is to be conside­red that this curtesy is not so precisely to bee vsed, ei­ther at common tables, where eche man payeth equal­ly for his meale, nor yet at ordenary tables in the Court: for in either of these two places, except diuersity of degree make difference, men vse not this curiositie: then this aforesayd at the table, is when men meete in their equals or inferiours houses, in which it is to be considered that the owners of the tables must beare the swaye of placing, if he be the better or equall. Howbeit, if the owner shall call or place one (either not knowing who ought or not caring who doe) that is inferiour e­uerie way, sauing for wealth, in such a case, the younge [Page 3]Gentleman shall doo well not to tarry till other be set, not abyding the placing of the owner: but takinge his nexte companion to set himself downe first, rather two or thrée lower, then he should be the next to his inferi­our: whereby the owner shalbe (in sylence) taught to consyder better an other time.

And he must not suffer himselfe to be remoued any higher, that he may kéepe the owner still in doubt whe­ther he so placed himselfe of mislike or of good fellow­ship. But if there be much adoe made, and that he finde the owner to finde his owne errour: then it will be cur­tesy to couller the fact with good words pleasauntly, As thus:

Why? thinke you that I can eate no meate but at the vpper ende of the bourd. Or thus:

I pray you hinder not my good happe, I am where I like. Or thus:

I pray you giue me leaue to sit where I like. Or thus:

I pray you trouble not your selfe, you shall sée vs as merrye here as you be there. Or thus:

As long as I finde good meat I neuer vse to studye for my place, Or thus:

I warrant you if I had not liked this place, I would haue bin so bold as chosen an other. But if happen the owner of the house, be so grosse and careles, that hee either doo not or will not finde any mislike of the mat­ter: then would I wishe in such a case, the young Gen­tlemā should be furnished with some guirding speeches or els some pleasaunt scoffes, to countenaunce out the matter, with those that syt by him, that the rest may sée he choase the place in scorne of the other, Or thus:

I am happely placed here, for if I had mounted any higher, I had béen cleane out of countenaunce. Or thus.

[Page 4]We wilbe as merrie here, as though we sat at the vpper ende of the bourd: or to some companion, that sits next abooue by the younge Gentlemans placing, thus:

If you behaue not your selues gently, and be good to vs of the second messe, we will kéepe you from moun­ting the next time. Or thus:

Beware freinds, pride will haue a fall: speake not so lowde your betters be in place. And to conclude, to make as much mirthe and pastime as may be all the meale. But if a man be in a noblemans house, or a Knight of great reputacion, then he must be contented for that time, as pleaseth them. But he may the nexte time, take as good a place as he can with modestie get, and when he is from the bourd, not loose any place that reason or courage can aduaunce him to. For as no man is disgraced by giuing (of his curtesy) place to whom he list, so to haue it taken from him by others being his right, is an abasement not to be suffred, if a man can take it either by slight or courage.

Now that this young Gentleman, may know in what sorte he may accompany himselfe with all sorts, and to all estates: he shall know, that the eldest sonne of a Knight while his father liueth, may count himselfe equall with a Gentleman of .cc. li. land rent of assise (for so the Statute limiteth) and may offer himselfe a com­panion with the best Squire, if his wit with a modest audacitie will serue him thereto, but not without some reuerent respectes in his spéeche: specially if the sayde Squier be of grauitie, and so of reputation, either for his wisdome or office, as if he wil aske a question, thus:

I pray you syr, what? where? or why is sutch a thing? Or thus:

Will it please you to doo, or haue such a thing: and [Page 5]in his affirmation and negation to answer, as thus:

Ye sir, no sir. And if the other aske him any question, as whether he will doo this, or that. Then thus:

Mary sir I will tell you. Or thus:

With a good will, if it please you, &c. As the mat­ter shall fall out. Howbeit these spéeches, if it be to no better then to the best Squier, or an ordinarie Knight be to be vsed, with such a famillier kinde of pronunti­ation, as it may appeare to be vttred by him of his cur­tesy: meaning rather to giue them more then he great­ly néeded, then of any great difference he thinkes to be betweene them: specially if they be sutch, as he is not like any way, either to be in daunger of their hurt, or in néede of their help. And though these kinde of reue­rent speeches néede not to be so curiously vsed, by the in­feriour, to one much his better, when they be once ve­ry familier: yet they become the speaker so well, as if they be vsed with a good audacitie and familier coun­tenance, a man may vse them to his inferiour, without any abacement or disgrace at all to himselfe, and spe­cially to Ladies and Gentlewomen of credit.

Then he hath to consider that among yonge Gen­tlemen, or younge Noblemen, there needes no great curiositie, but before a Barron, and so vpward, he may not be couered while he standeth in his viewe, except the Nobleman bid him: vnlesse that Nobleman vse such an ordinarie kinde of fellowship with all men (as he soeth) as meane as himselfe vse him with small cur­tesy: and yet he must way withall whether that good-fellowship bee withall men indifferently, or onely to suche as be his familliers: for sutch as be Noble may make theyr companions whom they list, and the rest though they shalbe better to such companions, not to vse euer the lesse honour to him.

[Page 6]And let this stand for a generall rule, that whatsoeuer familiarity a noble mā shall show to any his inferiour, yea though he professe to make him his equall friend: let the inferiour still beware of vsing himselfe rudely, sawcely or carelesly, especially in the presence of others, For though many to assure their inferiour of their good­will, séeme to banish all curiosity: yet such a one shalbe best estéemed, and longest hold friendship with his bet­ter, that in all their greatest familiarity can make it appeare to others that he dooth not forget, that he play­eth or iesteth with his superiour. Which a man may ve­ry well doe and yet holde company in all manner of sportes, testes, and pastimes: then much more he that is a straunger must haue the more regarde. And as it is good manner for a man in his owne house, or his friendes, if he be the best in the company, to offer inter­tainement to any noble man: so in a straunge place in the house of his better, though there be no better then himselfe in the place, he may not presume to beginne intertainment: but it is his part to be ready, and next the Nobleman in sight, against it pleaseth him to vse him, till he séeth him accompanied with some others, or call some other to him: and if it be but open talke deui­sed to passe away the time, then to helpe lengthen the same at his discretion: otherwise to finde some talke with others, and rather to stande or sit, with a steddy and assured countenaunce, as though he were studying some matter of waight, or harkening to others talke if it be not secret: then to accompanye him selfe with such as be vnwoorthy of his company: and such count I seruing men, and foolish doltish persons though they be his betters. But when a man shall sit still and say nothing, he must be sure to haue an assured coūtenance, not gnawing any thing in his mouth, or playing with [Page 7]his legges, toes, or fingers, and to haue alwaies an eare and an eye about him, to here what is saide, and to be reddy if any part of an others talke, eyther by word or looke be addressed to him, that he may receiue the oc­casion, and winne in the talke: and though no such cause be offred, yet it is a better grace to harken other folkes communication, then to be talking with a per­son of vaine credit: and if a man shall get him out of the way for lacke of countenance, when noble persons or others of reputation be in the place: then will his in­feriour lye in a waite for occasion, and step in, to bee of familiaritie before him.

Furthermore, if talke be offered to this yonge Gen­tilman by his better, he hath to consider whether the same procéede of a desire to passe away the time, and for want of other companie: or els (as some doo) because they wilbe thought curteous, they will saye some thing to euerie body, but for feare of too much familiaritie, will not stay longe with their inferiour. To this last it shalbe good only to answer to the question, adding some reason to verefie the same, but not to enter any new matter, nor to dilate any further in the old, then he shall perceiue him by his countenance and attentiuenes to heare without prouocation. But if the inferiour per­ceiue, that the talke is ministred vpon the first respect, that is to make entertainment: he must not onely an­swer all his demaunds, but enlarge the same to the vt­termost: And when he séeth his better pawse, so that he turne not away warde (as though he would be gon from him) to inuent some matter of himself, to lengthen talke: And that he may the better doo so,In any wise let a man shun as much as he can in his enter­tainments to speake of himselfe as to tell, what he hath saide or what he hath donne: for that will be takē to come of a desire to tell his owne praise, except it be either to his very frend or els that it be somthing that thother is desirous to here. he must before hand haue enquired (of such as come in his companie) if otherwise he cannot learne, what manner of country the stranger dwelleth in: from what place he commeth: [Page 8]and whither he is going: what pastime or exercise be loueth. By which meanes he may redemaunde of the wearines, or plesantnes of the iourney: of the fowle­nes or fayrenes of the weather: whether the Country he dwelleth in serue commodiouslye to the vse of sutch things as he delighteth in: whether the Gentlemen of that shyre be companiable in the like or not: and by this meanes, also he shalbe able so to vnderstand of mo countries, and men, then he knowes, although he met with them as straungers, yet he shall be prouided of sumwhat to discourse with them thereof. But if a man talke with his better, he must alwaies obserue with what attentiuenes or willing minde the other giueth care to him, that he may leaue off, before the other be weary: and to be very héedefull that he speake nothing affirmatiuely, but that himselfe hath seene: but he may well say I haue harde, or I haue read, that this, or that is thus. And in tellyng any thing by heresay, specially to a stranger, he must respect thrée things, thone, that it sound not to the dispraise of any by name, except it be a thing openlie knowne, and yet the dispraised may hap to be so neare a friend to him that shall heare it, as the teller shall get mislike. The other is, that when they tell a tale of an other mans mouth, he forbeare to tell the name of his aucthor, especially if he bee his freind, for if it shall séeme vnlikely though it be true, he shall bring his freinds credit in suspect. The thyrde kinde is, that he neuer take vpon him in open presence, to make any report of the sayings or doings of his bet­ters, except they be such as the company knoweth him to be familiarly acquainted with, for otherwise, he shall make himselfe compared to them that talke of Robin Hoode and neuer shot in his bowe. Lastly let him ne­uer make vp his entertaynements with the disprayse, [Page 9]or mocking of any, eyther present, or absent, though he heare other doo the like, (except only in the compa­nie of his very assured freinds) and that for this respect. A yonge man must euer thinke that it is vnpossible for him to be so compleat in all perfections of béehauour, but that some thing remains in him worthy the laugh­ing at, if men should not forbeare him in respect of time which brings experience to the wisest, and peraduen­ture too, euen some of the same defects which he seeth scoff at in an other, may be in himselfe, vnknowen to himselfe, or at least others as ill: And therefore the wisest way is, if his better séeme to deride any for his béehauour, to appeare by a smiling countenaunce to be of the same opinion: but in woords to escuse it, if hee may, as if the dooings of him that is mocked shew sim­plicitie, thus:

It may be that bashfulnes is the cause: if they shew rudenes, then thus:

Want of experience makes men erre. But if they be his equals, or inferiours that so scof, then merelye, thus:

Go too syrs, many a one going about to mocke on be cares not for, dooth often touche himselfe or his néere fréende, or by a similitude thus:

On, on, saw yée neuer any or this, that litfe vp a Weapon to stryke another and hyt himselfe. Or thus:

Take your pleasure my masters, I warrant you therebe that doo as mutche for vs, as we doo for them. And in déede there cannot any greater praise be giuen to any man, then this, that one shall neuer heere him speake yll of anye, and hearyng yll, wyll make the best of it. Howbéeit, it is bothe within the limmittes of honestye, wysoome, and fréendship, [Page 10]any man to discourse plainelie with his freind, either of the misbehauiour, or vnhonest dealynges of any: that on the one side he may shew himselfe a misliker of ill persons, and also make his freinde ware of them. And by the way it is to be noted, that there be thrée sorts of people, which whosoeuer shall scoffe & skornel at, or els iest with them, further then the compas of curtesy shall permit, shall receiue more disgrace by dooing it, then the other shall by suffering it.

The fyrst is women, or simple milde sprited men: for women must neuer be iesters, nor scoffers, further then the bounds of modestie and curtesie, to make the time passe away the more pleasantly: so that a man to iest so farre with them as they may not for shame an­swere, nor for insufficiencie quarrell for, wilbe accomp­ted a dishonorable battell, wherin the vanquished hath more [...] them the vanquisher:This is ment by sharpe and taunting iestes when a man will seeke to dis­grace or put one out of countenance by iestes. for it is better to yéelde with silence, then to contend for the masterie in vnfytting termes, and to offer the milde spréeted man the like: that fynding himselfe agréeued, hath neither the wit to shift of it in words, neither the courrage to reuenge i [...] in déede [...]: is [...] the same predicament that the woman is: And all noble mindes doo of their cur­tesies forbeare to offend, and offer to defend all those that either cannot (as féeble persons) or ought not (as the feminine sexe) reuenge or defend themselues.

The second sorte that may not be mocked or scoffed at [...]e age [...] persons, and such as be deformed, for want either of bewtie, fanour, or other blemishes in their shape, stature or linunes: because none of these things be faults of their owne making, neither lieth it in their power to amend them▪ So as we ought rather to bee mooued thereby too thanke the maker or vs all, for dea­ling so much better with vs, then with them, then to [Page 11]scorne or depraue them for that they cannot helpt. And if withall we will consider, that the deformities of the minde, be so much fowler then those of the body, as the soule is of more value, and ought to be more vniforme: it wilbe a good meane to make the outwarde defects of others, very small in respect of our owne, which can­not but he greater and many moe, and consequently, rather to escuse them, then despise them.

The thyrd sorte that cannot beare, neither ought to be offred scoffing, mocking, or lesting: be those that be in miscrie: either by sorrow, imprisonment, or any ad­uersitie, by losse of fréen [...]s, substance or credit: For these be things sent from God, to put vs in remembrance, that we hauing deserued as ill, may fall into the like when it pleaseth him: and in the meane times be ob­iects for vs, to practise our compassion and charitie vp­on. But there may rise this question, séeing that pub­lique enterteinments, specially among younge folkes, are continued more often with spéeche of little impor­tance, then with matters of waight: How a man find­ing himselfe in such companie, as are neither fit to dis­course of matters of wisdome, nor yet to be imparted with of his owne priuate affaires, shall finde matter suffici [...]nt to passe the time in companie? For answer héereunto, let this be remembred, that where as I haue sayd, that men must take heede in their open talke, how they be to busy in bringing in the sayings and dooings of noble persons, least the hearers should thinke that he arrogateth to himselfe greater acquaintance with such, then in déede he hath: or els, least comming to theyr eares, they should mislike that their inferiours should make them their talking stockes. Yet if he that shall so introduce (by way of confirmation, ensample, or simili­tude) the saying of his betters, be sure that it she [...] [...]s [Page 13]wisdom & praise, or at the least, some pleasantnesse with but any harme or disgrace to any other, he may well vse it in his talke: Prouided that he speake it as by heresay, ercept he haue it in deede by his owne know­ledge. Also women and deformed persons, may be plea­santed and iested with, if their wit be sutch as they de­light in the like, and can in good sporse enterchaunge in the same manner. Prouided that the boundes of cur­tesie be obserued (that is) that there be no cause of blu­shing giuen.

Also, all men in sickenes, prisonment, or pouertie, be not miserable, for they be only such that haue an afflic­ted minde: for some can iest and scoffe at their owne disgraces, thinking thereby to make them seeme the lesse in other mens eyes, while they appeare no heuier, then sutche as themselues can pleasantly beare: And sutch had rather be rested with then pittied.

The fault therefore that can be committed in these persons, is the mocking them behinde their backes, or despising them, which no man ought to shew to any, ex­cept it be to them that be knowen to be impudent and shamelesse persons, or else such as be knowen to be o­uerwenyng fooles in their owne conceyte, and be suche as doo the like by others. Of these a man may talke his pleasure, as well of them, as with them, without any disgrace to himselfe: Prouided that if any quarrell rise thereby, he be as readies of courage to maintaine it with his hand, as of speeche to vtter it with his tongue.

Also a man may test with his very famillier freind: if he finde him of disposicion willing to beare it, and of wit sufficient to aunswer it. And it skilles not what he lay to his charge, though it be dishonestie: prouided that it be not true that is imputed to him, or if it be true that the other be so brasen faced as he will not be [Page 12]ashamed of it.

I would not aduise any man to iest mutch with his inferiours, vnlesse they be such as he knoweth, both can and will vse a restraint of ouer male partnes. For if a Gentilman should be saucely vsed by iest, by his inferi­our, he cannot escape disgrace, whether he beare with it, or quarrell for it: but bearing it is best, and to shut it vp rather with a pleasant nip, then any way to seeme angry, if the mirth he of his owne beginning.

And thus much for a taste how a man may passe his talke among his betters and equals, in a straunge place, and in straunge company.

Yet this admonition more I must adde, that who so in his entertainments shall endeuour to tell any tale to mooue laughter (spectally in straunge companie) had néede to be sure that it carrye that life or quicknesse with it, as he be not so much deceaued of his expectati­on, that he be faine himselfe to laugh alone: for that wil be so great a disgrace, as in stéede of laughing at the ta­ble, they will smile in theyr stéeues at him: and therfore to shun that he must beware that he take not in hand to tell any thing for foolish, that is not folly: nor for wise that hath couller of folly: nor for a wonder that is not wonderfull: nor for rare, that is common: for want of experience may deceiue all these.

¶ How a man shall beehaue himselfe in bad com­pany, and among such Roysters as will offer familiaritie with him, will he or no: and first a guesse of sutch meanes as they will vse there­to.
¶ The second Chapter.

THeir manner is lightly, if they finde a younge Gentleman that is to bee of a fayre liuing, if they sée him soberly gi­uen, after they haue made their deuise among themselues, how euery man shall play his part, that one of them shall pretend great grauitie with him, and he shall praise him to the cloudes, and become his councellour: another shall tel wonders to his fellow, to sée if between them they can catche a Woodcocke of him.

Another (if the fyrst deuice serue not) will go about in scoffing and iollying sorte, to sée if by putting them out of countenaunce, they can make him glad to bee of their faction, and to further the same, an other shall seeme to reprooue all them. And as though he were the plainest honest man in the company, he will offer to quarrell with them in his behalfe: and all will be done with such oathes and sad lookes, as for all a man is warned (he shall doubt) whither there he any that meane good faith or not. And it may be indéed that some of these may meane honestly, and that may be the first and the last, (for thother two bewray themselues) and therfore a man must vse those he doubts of in such sort, as he neither vtterly reiect them, meaning well, nor shew him so foolish, as at the first or vpō small acquain­tance [Page 15]shall take vpon him to praise or aduise him, let him consider what reputation and countenaunce he is of, or if they be sutch, as be of lyuing, and withall can be contented to liue within the compasse of his owne, then there is the lesse suspition to he had of him, further then this: that euery wise man will suspect any man that too mutch praiseth him (except it be his famillier and assured freind) but for the more suerty it shalbe wel to answer in this manner: not seriously, but somewhat myling and famillierly. Me thinks it very good that you and I were neuer better acquainted: for by that meanes you maye be kept in that good oppion which now ye séeme to conceiue of me, either by heresay, or by your owne guesse, least by too much conuersation you be made to chainge your minde: but in the meane time I thanke you, bothe of your good liking, and of the good aduice you profer me: for I shall euer haue néede of good counsell: and if there be any other thing (because I am vnfurnished to requite you in the same) wherein I may pleasure you as much, you shal finde me as rea­dy. And so to shift him of, and fall into some other talke, enquiring of this or that, him or her, as the obiect of the eye or minde shall lead.

Now for the wonder tellers, I finde thrée or foure fortes of them: the one sort onely vpon pleasure to passe away the time, not looking to be beléeued of any, but to be iolled within the like: With these the best way is meerely to take vpon you to know it to be true, and to ad to it something that maye make it séeme more vn­likely. And though it should so fall out that the tale should be true, that to another seemeth either vnlike or vnpossible: yet is there no harme done, in not séeming to beleeue it, while I know no reason to lead me there­to: mary, if after the same with sad asseueracion and o­thers [Page 16]be iustified to be true: a man must of curtesie seeme to eredit their othes, but neuer the more to cou­fesse it likely, except they can shew so by reason.

Thother sorte for that they would be taken for doo­ers or knowers of great things, will for their owne glorie tell maruels, either of such things as they haue done, or such things as they haue seene in straung Coū ­tries. And will thinke in déede, what by his solemne countenance, what by swearing and lying, eyther to be credited, or at least that no man shall séeme to discredit them: and if any go about it to quarrell with them. In this case I would either say nothing, or if he should di­rect his tale to me, whereby I must be drouen to says something: I should be in sutch sorte as I would séeme to soothe him in woordes, but others such as I thought my fréends, should perceiue by my countenance I ra­ther thought it pittie to put him out of his vaine, then was of the minde to beléeue all he sayd. Yet that must he done so cunningly too, that if the teller or the hearers should, to picke a thanke, chalenge me for the same: I would be able (if I list) without denying anye thing I sayde or did, or make the blame light on them that would goe about to distaine my meaning, as thus:

Can I not looke on such a one, or speake so, but that I must meane as ye would: it is you, me thinkes, that go about to bringe in question that which no man els thought on, if I were as be, I would thanke you for that, &c.

The thyrde, and the worst of these wonder tellers, is he that in very déede maketh it his art, of purpose to catche Woodcockes, as they terme it, and they will vse it either so conningly or so impudently, as they will make him, whom they hunt after to be a Foole in that pointe, or seeme a foole: for they will so mingle thinges [Page 17]like to be true, or at the least not impossible with things merely, faulse and vnpossible: as if the hearer shall ei­ther receiue all indifferently, or reiect all indifferently, he shall seeme either too ignorant, or too light of beleefe. And if he shall by iudgement scan and seuer the other from the other, and so condempne any parte, though not the whole: then swearing, flowting and quarreling, wilbe offered to iustifie the matter: and this it is, will they say) to tell a tale to him that hath neuer gon fur­ther then his mother and nursery, to call for his pappe in a morning, &c.

And then must the last man that I first spake of and is the fourth in this tragedie, steppe foorthe and tell his fellow he offreth the yong Gentleman too much wrong, and he shall not take it at his hands, & himself will take his part, & go into the Field either with him or for him.

To shift bothe these of, the best way, if any will rid it, is first to let the other to tell all his lies, and to let him passe with a smile in the sleeue, as they will call it, rather then to vse either admiration, or negation: but if he be vrged to saye his oppinion, as he shall, if it be a verse of course, then shortly to answer, thus: or the like.

I say no more, but it may be true for me: for there be many things that séeme vnpossible, and yet prooue true Matters of faith may not be reasoned on, Or thus:

Me thinkes it is a very good tale, I meane not to scan any further on the matter. And these or the like woords may be vttered with such a grace, as the coun­tenance may shew the minde, and yet the speeche keepe them from quarrell. But if they wyll néedes pro­secute it to the vttermost: then he that shall seeme to set the yonge Gentleman a gog. and offer to be his compa­nion: he must of curtesie seeme to thanke him, but not be so vnwise hs accept him.

[Page 18]For no wise man will accept into his company, at such a bargen, a stranger if he haue any of his freinds to make accompt of, though he suspect no practise at all, but yet he must be put of with good words, as thus:

I thanke you, you shall not néede to take the paine, for I hau [...] promised a fréend of mine,There is a difference betweene ruffaly phra­ses and such reprochefull woords as expresse the fowlenesse of the act or the ilnesse of the person. in these cases (if I take any body with me) it must be he: I will quarrell with no body, but if any body haue any quarrell to me, I haue businesse into sutch a place, such a day, at sutche an hower: I will haue but my selfe and my man, or but my selfe and my friend, there he may finde me if he dare: and so asmuch as may be to forbeare ruffainly words. But if any man be called by any reprochefull names, they must néedes be required both in termes and déedes, but after sundrie manners according to the person, the cause and the place.

If the noble man be not of authority.For if a mans better, being a noble person (not bée­ing of the counsell) shall in scornefull woords chalenge his inferiour for any thing of offence toward him, the inferiour ought by all meanes (not abaceing himselfe too mutch) to escuse the matter. Or if it be a fault (suche as he can yéelde no reason for the committing of it) to yéelde with request of pardon. But if either the escuse will not be taken, or that the inferiour had iust cause to [...]ommit the offence, and that therevpon the nable man breake out in termes of repreche, as knaue, or lie: it may very well be answered thus:

I neither am knaue, nor lie any more then you, take it as you lift, Or thus.

My Lorde, I know you are a noble man, you may peraduenture ouermatch me with your traine, and yet I must scamble as well as I can too: These termes be very vnsitting, you must either forbeare them, or giue me leaue te thinke too, Or thus:

[Page 18]Your Lordship may bestow these liueries on those that liue by you, and cannot liue without you: if you will not haue me forget you, forget not your self, for I am much afeard I shall respect the villanie you offer me aboue the dignitie of your estate: But if a great personage shall reprooue one for any faulte, then media­tion of freinds, and humble woords, as thus:

I am sorie your L. should grow to these termes: I neither am such, nor deserue to be so called of you: how­beit you be to great a state for me to contend with, but if the proudest he in this land being mine equall, or not so much my better should vse me so, if I did not my best to teache him better manner, you might well publish me for sutche as you call me: but I will beare all these and be glad of your L. fauour if I may get it, if not I must liue like a poore man, and doo as I may, Or thus.

My Lord, these be verie ill termes to offer to a Gen­tleman: and I must tell, you offer them to him that would not beare them at many mens hands, but I must beare them at yours, For I confesse you bee able to ouermatche me: your traine is longer then mine: if I had thought you would haue vsed me thus, your Lordship should haue pardoned me for comming to you at that time.

Now it is to be considered that wordes all this while as they breake no boanes (so from one mutche a mans better) they be no great disgraces: and a man may be compted the wiser to forbeare, where he know­eth he shall by power and rowtes of men or kindred, be ouermatched. But if the best vnder a Councellour should giue a blowe, a man shalbe ashamed, if he doo not his best to reache him another, whatsoeuer come of it.

Now if betwéene equals, reproachefull words do rise, it must be distinguished thus:

[Page 19]If I giue one occasion of offence that toucheth but his profit, and he giue me reprochefull names for it, as the Lie, or Knaue: I must for my credit sake, not only requite those words with like woords, but counte the wrong mine:The best way to this is to lende him a blowe. and either offer the first blowe (if the place serue for it) or els chalenge him into the feild: vn­lesse I can (for pollicie sake) driue him to chalenge me to saue my selfe from the danger of the lawe.

For fighting quarels neuer are made for profit, but for honour: and therefore whatsoeuer hurt be doone, not touching credit, the quarell must be his that receiueth the first reprochefull words: so touching the cause, the right consideration is this: If I offer the first reproche, disdaine, or dispite, the quarell is the others: his parte it is to chalenge, and I néede not to my equall to make the chalenge. But if the other giue me the first lie, or like disgrcae, it is not inough to say he lyeth againe: but I must néeds offer a blow, or chalenge the féeild.

But yet the villany may be such as he may straine good man­ner.In the house of his fréend, I meane in the dyning place at the bourde, or where any assembly is, a man may not offer a blowe: but if he haue cause giuen him, he shall doo well to make shewe in woords that he for­beareth the present occasion, respecting the disturbance of the companie.

This is no place to growe in termes in, if it were you would not be so braue, Or thus:

These be too great villanies to be borne, if it were not in mine owne house, where thou knowest I am a­ble to eate thée vp, Or thus:

No into woords, this matter shallbe eased anon you shall sée, Or thus:

I thanke you syr, nay take your pleasure, I could rayle too, but then I should be like such a rascall as thy selfe, tell me this soone if thou sée I forget it: but if I doo [Page 20]take me for such a cowardly boye as I will take thée for, till thou méete me in such a place, Or thus:

If it were not for troubling this companie, I would be your caruer of a péece of my Dagger: but doubt not but I shall finde a time for you. Or thus:

Away rascall with thy villanous words, I heare by thy great boaste I shall passe my iourney quietly at such an hower, in such a place, I know, I shall haue cause to report thée for a good quiet fellow: I, no more a doo, you know my minde.

But to conclude in this, I shall aduise the yonge Gentleman to enforme himselfe afore he haue neede by enquerie at their hands, that the experienced in that trade, that when he hath neede he may not only be pro­uided of courage, but also of woordes, phrase and man­ner to it curragiously: and in the stoutest and séemliest manner for all that I haue written hithertoo of this matter, hath bin rather to shew that in euery thing there is a meane to be vsed, in one sorte to inferiours: and in another sorte to superiours and equals: to the ende to prouoke him to learne the right manner, then of a meaning, to shew any skill of mine in the same, belonging nothing to my profession: and therefore I will now say something how he shall take the iestings, the praysyngs, and the thankes of hia superiours and equals, as things that are bothe fitter for me to write, and shall of him be oftner and sooner put in practise.

First I will discriue some sundrie manner of ie­sting, One is, when a man will charge his famillier freinde (a mans famillier may be either his equall or his better, that list of curtesie to become his equall, or one somewhat his inferiour to whom he list by like curtesie to make his equall) with some ill matter that all the companie knoweth to be vntrue.

[Page 21]In that kinde there is no difficultie to answere: but it is good to haue varitie of phrase, and not to answer still after one manner: to his mere equall thus:

You doo well to exercise your tongue in matters of no trouth, you may hap els to be taken for a lie teller. Or thus:

Go too, you will haue euery bodie sée what a lauish tongued fellow you be, that cannot so much as kéepe counsell of that he knoweth not, what would he doo thinke you of that he knoweth? Or thus:

Nay I dare say you would faine haue it beléeued, for it gréeueth him that any man should be taken for honester man than himselfe, Or thus:

Go too, you were best leaue your tatling, least I fall a telling of true tales, Or thus:

Nay tell on, for I am sure all is Gospell that com­meth out of those lippes of yours, Or thus:

This is nothing finely handled of you, you should haue sayd sumthing that had caried some likelyhoode with it, Or thus:

Go too, I will make you no more of my counsell sée­ing you be such a blab, Or thus:

Is this the trust you performe with your fréendes, to tell all and more too? Or thus:

Houlde thy peace foole, for my honestie is so well knowen, as no body here will beléeue thée.

¶ Now in the like case to a mans better must be o­ther phrases, as thus:

You say truthe syr I haue béen taken for a sore fel­low at that, when I was a yongeman, Or thus:

If my credit were not very good, this were inough to disgrace me quite, Or thus:

It may be true that you say, but I warrant you I handle the matter so cunningly, that there is no proofe [Page 22]to be had of it, Or thus:

It were great pittie any body should doubt of that matter, Or thus:

Thus a mans credit is put in daunger by you, if the hearers be not the more fauourable, Or thus:

Some measure other mens trades by theyr owne, but I would be lothe any body should thinke I meane so by you.

¶ An other kinde of iesting with a mans freind is, when they charge him to haue sayd or donne something of a thirde person, that onely himselfe and his freinde knoweth to be fayned: but yet it may be tould with sutch a resemblance of truth, as the hearers may doubt whether it be true or no. In this case also it is not good to make deniall: but to vse some such phrase or rountenance as the hearers may perceiue he maketh so little accounte of it, as it néedeth no escuse or denial, as thus:

You haue lost mutch good labour now, if you be not beléeued, Or thus:

You may sell this good cheape, séeing it is of your owne making, Or thus:

I like you well, for I sée you loue to make the best of any thing, euer, when you wote not how to make the woorst, Or thus:

I pray you beléeue him in this, and you shall sée he will take such a pride in it, that he will quoyne you new stuffe euery day. Or to a mans better: Very well, you may say that and more too, if it please you, Or thus:

You must looke with a sadder countenance when you wilbe beléeued.

¶ An other kinde is when they will touche one with something which is true: and though it be no great in­famie, [Page 23]yet it may be somewhat that a man would bee loathe to confesse, and yet as loathe to be taken for a denier of that which is knowen to be true. In this case a man may answer thus:

You doo but dreame peraduentuoe, when you wake you shall finde it otherwise, Or thus:

Loe, now you haue heard say so: and béeing of a good faith, you béeleeued it straight. Or thus:

Naye no doubt but it must needes be true, if you say it, Or thus:

Did I: you speake your pleasure, a good tale in déede if it were long inough. Or to your better.

These and like speches with altringe only the soūd and counte­nance may serue in sport or betweene sport and er­nest, if a man like not to be iested with.This is but some malicious tongue, that hath foun­ded this in your eares, I am sure you doo not beleeue it, Or thus:

Nay you may say what pleaseth you, for I will doo so mutch as confesse it, rather then you should not bee beléeued, Or thus:

I perceiue you minde to make me beholding to you for giuing me so good report, Or thus:

I know syr your good woord is euer at hand for your freinds, and I perceiue by this that I am one of them, Or thus:

I am bound to you alwaies, I trust to be able one way or other to make you amends, Or thus:

No I warrant you, there shall no man be able to catche me in such a fault, Or thus:

Well this you would doo if a mans marriage lay on it, Or thus:

Well, when I lacke one to speake well for mee, I knowe where to finde him at a néede. Or shus:

If you looke so sadly, you will make them beléue you in deede.

[Page 24]¶ An other kinde of iesting is, when one praiseth a­nother for well handling of any matter, either in say­ing or dooing, that in deede hath not beene well, or not so well or wisely as it might haue béene: whereby the other knoweth he speaketh by contraries, this is to bee aunswered diuersly, as thus:

Nowe if another time you lacke one to doo suche a thing finely, it is but sending for me, and you shalbe sped, Or thus:

It is a signe you haue a good insight with you, for I may tell to you, and yet I would be lothe to vaunt too: it was verye excellentlye well done in déede, Or thus:

Well, ye sée I loue not to bragge: but when I doo a thing very wisely, I loue sutche fréendes as wyll tell me of it, Or thus:

O naye, but if you had had the handling of it, it would haue beene exquisitiuely doone. Or to a mans better thus:

Well, if a man chaunce to shew all the wit he hath in dooing of a thing, were it reason there should be any more required? Or thus:

I may tell to you, I did it withall the prouision of wit I had at that time in store, Or thus:

Naye, I trust I shall neuer surfet with dooing too wisely, Or thus:

I loue not to dissemble with my fréends, I meane to shew them all my wit at once.

To conclude, in any thing that may séeme to carry some defect in the dooing, if the doer can himselfe either with wit turne it to some merrie conceit, or els helpe merely to mocke him, himselfe for companie: it wil ap­peare either no defect, or els to be committed rather by carelesnesse, then for want of wit.

[Page 25]Another kinde of iesting is to praise a man to his face of things that be true in déede: as for his perso­nage, his wit, his qualities, his good nature, or his lear­ning: and whether this be spoken in sporte, or in ear­nest, it is all one: for a man must euer take vpon him as though all praises were spoken in iest: by which meanes he may in sporte arrogate them all to himselfe, with lesse glorie, then if with taking it in earnest hee should endeuour to put them from him. So as all sutch praises may bée aunswered thus with a smiling grace.

Go too, you thinke now that I wyll doo as mutche for you: and so I would if I thought you as woorthy of it as I: but you must bate me an ace of that, Or thus:

In déede I must confesse it is so: and you that want some of these rare giftes, which I am endowed with must be contented too, Or thus:

You say true, there be many proper fellowes of the name of vs, if ye knew them, Or thus:

These things be but trifles with me, in comparison of that I could doo if I list, Ot thus:

You néede say no more, for I warrant you, I beléeue all this to be true, and mutche more. Or to a mans better, thus:

I thanke you for saying so, for I hope some bodye here will beleeue it, Or thus:

Take héede syr, that you make not mee so beléeue you herein, better then you beluées your selfe: for I tell you, it will be harde to make mes thinke the contrarie. Or thus:

Beware what you saye, for it lyeth in you to bringe me in as greate an errour as this comes too, Or thus:

I know you will saye nothing, but that you bée [Page 26]sure is true: and therfore, I meane bothe to beléeue it my selfe, and also to perswade the audience to bée of a right faith.

¶ How a man shall answer to the praise and thanks and curtesies seriously offered by his beters or equals.
The third Chapter.

THe praise that any man shall giue his fréeinds to his face, proceeding of his owne iudgement,Any prayses or thankes require ra­ther some­what a smy­ling grace then too so­lem, though it be a mans better. in earnest and fréendly wise, as one fréende maye in some order (in vttering either his owne affection, or to encourage the other without touche of flatterie) doo to an other: it may be answered to his equall fréeind, dooing it of good faith, in parte as I haue prescribed before towards his better, in dooing the like in mirthe. Or thus:

I may not take your praise for any thing, for the goodwill you beare me, blindes you. Or thus:

I pray you looke better into me, and when you finde how much you be deceiued, tell me of it, that I maye amende it, Or thus:

If another should tell me so muche, I should thinke he mockes me: but you may mocke me indéede, and passe vnespied, for the goodwill I thinke you beare me.

To a stranger, that shall praise him, or séeme to con­ceaue a good opinion of him thus:

It were best (I thinke) neuer to be better ac­quainted with you, least I make you of another opini­on, Or thus:

[Page 31]I thanke you for your good opinion, I would I could beguile euerie body so conning as to make them of the same minde. And to a mans better, thus:

How muche soeuer I shall want in this, my redi­nesse to bée at your commaundement shall supplie it, Or thus:

The good opinion, whiche rather my good hap, then my deserts hath wrought in you, causeth you (I thinke) to beeléeue that to be in mee, which you wish to bee in mee. Or thus:

I account my hap good, that it pleaseth you, but to say thus mutch: for at the least, I shalbe ashamed of as mutch as I finde wanting here of in my selfe, Or thus:

I cānot but take this as a freindly curtesy, by pollicie to encourage mée to seeke the attainment of that which I am borne in hand to haue alreadie. These and like, answeres may be applied also to sutche as shall bringe to his eares the good reportes of his fréeindes giuen out of him behinde his backe (as they terme it.) Proui­ded that hée picke them out according to the distinction of persons beefore described: and withal, as it is to bee consydered that all thinges spoken in a showe of mirth though it seeme to the hearer somwhat sharpe (and peraduenture anger him) is yet to bée dissembled and answered merely.In all other entertaine­ments spo­ken seriously, a gladsome looke is a better grace then a flatte­ting smile. So whensoeuer a man in any thing that hee may atribute, truly to himselfe is praised to his face, though it bee spoken earnestly and of good meaning: hée ought also, in his foresaide manner of an­sweres: to shew sutche a smilynge grace, as it may appeare hée taketh it as spoken rather of their curtesie, then for any cause he finds in himselfe why they should so say, in speeche (for the most parte) the countenance, the grace, and sounde in the pronunciation is able with one selfe sentence, without altring woorde or sillable, [Page 32]to please or displease others, to shew himselfe wise, or make him for so mutche to séeme foolish.

Salomon affirmeth, that there is nothing that more trieth the wit of man, then the hearing of his owne praise: for saith he, the wise man is put too his triall, when he is praised to his face. And therefore for this matter I conclude, that forasmuch as many times it is harde to finde who speaketh of flatterie contrarie to his thought: who by way of mockerie, though he knowe he say true, to trie him, and who of good zeale to shew af­fection, and to encourage him: The surest way in this doubt is (except to those whose fréendship by other meanes he hath experience of) to vse his answers so, as he may make them earnest or sporte at his pleasure, as he perceiueth their asseueracion to prouoke him.

¶ How a man shall acquite himselfe towards no­ble persons, that shall either for his freendes sake, or his owne, offer him curtesies: or assure him of freeindship, willing him in all chaun­ces to be bolde with him.
¶ The .iiii. Chapter.

IN this case as in all other of intertain­ments, the inferiour must note in what manner, whether seriouslye or familliarly, such curtesie or intertain­ment be offred him: and thereafter to chuse out and shape out answers, a­gréeable to eche kinde: for the first, if he be a straunger to him: but not to his freends thus:

I knowe sutche, or sutch of my fréendes so mutche béeholding to you too, as hath bin sufficient to binde me [Page 29]to honour and loue you: and séeing it pleaseth you to extend your curtesie also towards me, I can but wish my seruice, as sufficient as my good will is: to assure you too, of my thankefull minde, Or thus:

My Lorde, I can but acknowledge that debte for my selfe; which before I thought to owe for others of my fréends, that haue tasted of your curtesie: but I am glad that I may by this meanes shew it, which your Lordship shall finde me ready to doo, wherein soeuer I shall thinke my seruice may be acceptable, Or thus:

As this your Lordships goodnes riseth of your cur­tesie without any desertes, so must I confesse my selfe euer vnable to counterpeyse it: I can but acknowledge my selfe too mutch bound to you for it: and double boūd if it shall please you to commaund me to the vttermost of my power, Or thus:

I humbly thanke your Lordship, I can but requite it with my seruice, and that I beséech you commaund, Or thus:

My humble thankes are but an vnequall recom­pence, and therefore I shall desire your L. to put my gratefull minde in triall, by commaunding my seruice, Or shortly, thus:

If my seruice may any way be ought woorth, if I may but vnderstande it, it shall not néede to be com­maunded, Or thus:

I humbly thanke your L. and I beséech you com­maund me, as your seruant, Or thus:

I humbly thanke your L. and I beséeche you thinke that you voutchsafe this curtesie on him that will be as readie to requite it with the vttermost of his seruice, as he that is better stored of woords. The vse of long or short sentences must be imployed according as he séeth the hearer at leasure.

¶ How when the foresayde speeches bee offered by a noble person plesantly, that is of acquain­tance which must be also pleasantly answered.
The .v. Chapter.

MY Lorde, you know I haue no store of eloquence: but what mayme so euer you finde in my vtterance, I can as­sure, you shall finde none in my good will, whensoeuer I may doo you anye seruice, Or thus:

I humbly thanke your Lordship, I warrant you I make so sure reckoning thereof, as I am more like to be boulde of your curtesie, then to request it: but I must pray your Lordship to thinke that shall be rather for want of power then of good will, Or thus:

Your Lordship must be content with my humble thankes for this time: but I would be very sorie to thinke your Lordship made not accompt of me, as of him whom you may most commaund, Or thus:

My Lord I haue had so good experience of your for­mer curtesies, bothe towards me and other my fréends, as I had néede with my seruice to goe about to recom­pence some parte of that, before I come in debt for any more: But the lesse we can requite, the more we muste stand bounde.

¶ How to an equall, or but little better beeing a freend and familliar.
¶ The .vi. Chapter.

[Page 28] TO our fréend thus:

I am in your debt for so mutch al­readie as if you lende me any more, you will make me bankroute: and a­grée with you for the tenthe parte, Or thus:

You offer me so mutche, and I can requite so little: as I see, you meane to make me an ill debter still, Or thus:

You know I haue no curious woords in stoare, but in plaine termes. I thanke you, and will requite it if I can, Or seriously thus:

I praye you thinke, that though I vse not manye woordes with you, I thinke my selfe so much beholding to you: as wherein I may pleasure you, if you com­maunde me not. I shall thinke you loue me not. Or to a straunger thus:

Syr I thanke you of this curtesie, if it shall lie in me to requite it, I pray you be as boulde with me, Or thus:

Sir I must be your debter for this curtesie, till time and place serue to requite it: but in the meane time I thanke you, I pray you make the like accompt of me.

¶ How a man shall take thankes of a noble person.
The .vii. Chapter.

IF thankes be offered in serious manner and for any waightie matter thus:

My Lorde, it was my goodwill, as well as my dutie, to haue done it to your best contentation: but [Page 27]if there be any defect in it, I pray your Lordship impute it to mine vnskilfulnesse. Or thus:

My Lord it is no reason that you thanke him, whom you ought to commaund: and specially me, that am vn­able to satisfie for the tenthe parte of that dewtie or goodwill I owe you: but if there be ought done to your contentation, or that haue pleased you, I am very well a paide and sufficiently thanked, Or if merely thus:

I pray you kéepe your thankes for a thing more woorthy them: for if your Lordship bestowe so manie thankes for so small matters, you will make me looke for too manie when I shall doo you any better seruice.

¶ To a mans equall fréeind, or but little his better, thus:

Nay sir, you will marre me, if you giue me too many thankes: for then you will bring me more in debt for my thankes, that I am yours for this matter by a great deale, Or thus.

Doo fréeinds vse this curiositie in giuing thankes, I am sure it is but to teach me good manners against an other time, Or thus:

I praye you keepe thankes for straungers, and let me know whether it were to your liking or not, Or thus:

You be at too muche cost for so small a matter: I know now where to haue thankes another time when I deserue them.

¶ How a man maye giue thankes to his betters and equals.
[Page 33]The .viii. Chapter.

IF my humble thankes were a suffici­ent recompence to your Lordship, I should not rest so muche in your debt as now I am bound to doo, for such a curtesie, &c. Or thus:

My Lorde, I haue humble thankes to render, for such a matter which did me great plea­sure: but they be so vnequall a requitall, as I were best to ad this to the rest of your curtesies or goodnesse, and stande bound for the whole, Or thus:

I am so muche bound to your Lordship, for sutch a thing, &c. As I must thinke all the seruice I can doo too little woorthe in respect of your goodnesse shewed therein.

To a mans fréend thus:

I am too muche in your debte, to giue you thankes for sutche a thinge, &c. For till I can make some shew in déedes, I will come vpon the score with you in words, Or thus:

Though thankes be not inough for this pleasure that you haue doone me: yet I pray you allow of them till I be able to make better paiment.

¶ What manners be requisite at the Table, and what to bee shunned: for, what is to be consi­dered in the washing before Dinner, and in the sitting downe, is set foorth in the beginning of this Direction.
¶ The .ix. Chapter.

[Page 34] FIrst, to pause when a man is set, and with leasure to vnfolde his Napkin, wipe his Knife, cut his breade,This cere­monie is not to be vsed, but when a man fitteth at the vpper messe with his betters, or at the second, when either the maister of the house sit­teth there, or some noble person. and there to slay till either his better be­gin, or make countenance to him to eate where he list: and then to begin, not at the dish that shall stand right before his better, except it be offered him: neither of the daintiest meates which (lightly) stande lowest: but to chuse some sutche dishe to be dooing on the while, till he see whether his better will chuse or refuse some other dishe, that he had rather eate on.

Item to haue an eye to sutche as sit next beneath him and cannot reach, and peraduenture for good man­ner (if they be any thing his inferiours) wil not speake: and if they eate not, to aske whether he shalbe their Caruer. But I would not haue him to be any mans Caruer, without asking him first, except it be to one so much his inferiour, as he knoweth will be glad of the curtesy he sheweth him, though he like not the meate. For as to Carue to a mans better is a presumption, so to ones equall, except by asking first the question, you know it wilbe welcome to him, wilbe taken for too mutche sawning, except also that for the daintinesse of the meate, or fine chusing of the best morsell, he offreth it to his very familier freind, by way of a curteous af­fection: for a man must for a generall rule, take héede that in a straunge place he be not to busie in offering seruice, or curtesies, though it be to his betters: but in a mans owne house or his Fathers, it cannot lightly be too mutche.

Item if a man be in his owne house, or his Fathers, where it becommeth him to giue countenance or enter­tainment he may to his equall, and such as be some­what his inferiours, he may the oftner proffer them [Page 37]this or that meate, and drink to them, but not too much. For if a man euery time he drinketh [...] shall drinke to one or other,It is counted a foolish grace euer to drinke to some body, and specially at the first draught. it wilbe séene▪ as though he did it for lacke of countenance: so that to vse the salutacion of the Cup aboue twise in one meale, wilbee too mutche, except the whole companie fall to quaffing. For wise men doo ra­ther seeke to satisfy their guests with some good spéeches then with such dum sygues.

This kinde of Cup greeting ought not to bee vsed but in one of these two respects: either to make our in­feriour (to whom we meane not to vse spéeche of famil­liaritie) to thinke we will doo them a curtefie: or els to our very fréende by way of congratulation. And there­fore a man must neuer drinke to his better, except he be sure that by way of fréendship and familliarite he be content to become his equall, and that not with a so­lem or sad countenance, but with some smiling grace, that the rest may knowe it procéedeth of familiaritie, and not of presumption, yet with reuerent woords and chaunge of phrase, as thus:

My Lorde, if some yonge Nobleman:

Sir, or Madam, will it please you to giue me leaue. Or thus.

Shall I be so boulde as salute you with this Cup of Wine. Or thus:

By your leaue syr, against it next please you. Or thus:

Will you giue me leaue to remember such a one▪ as some fréend of his. Or thus:

To plucke you out of your studies. Or thus:

Sauing your tale syr.

Item, that aboue all thinges in a straunge place, or in the presence of straungers, he attend not so gréedely, nor so continually to his feeding: but that in modest [Page 34]wise, [...] either gazing too longe in another mans face: or yet hanging his head continually [...] his tren­cher: he hath both his eye and his eare so redy, that no­thing is saide or doone at the bourde, but he may per­ceiue it, for his learning, that good is to follow, that ill is to eschew. And when he seeth any thing vncomely, to examine himselfe, whether he haue not the same grace himselfe: and also to doo the like, whensoeuer he heareth any man dispraised. For most men know what is com­ly or vncomely in another: But many for lacke of due obseruation in themselues, mocke or dyspraise in another, the same which others mock in them: and the rather for their so dooing.

Item, that he pawse betwéene meate and meate, and neuer to carue himselfe, either of meate or bread, while his mouth is full: nor till he haue swallowed the last morsell.

Item that he fill not his mouthe so full of meate as he cannot holde his lippes together while he is chaw­ing: for other wise, men shall looke into his mouthe, and see the meate rowle vp and downe while he is eatinge: which is a fowle sight, and loathesome: and for that cause, a man must forbeare to speake with meate in his mouthe, except he haue so little, as he bee sure to hide it in his mouthe while he is speaking.

Item, while his better telleth him any tale, to cease eating: bethe while he heareth, and while he answereth him.

Item, if he be prouoked to laughe in the presence of his betters to doo the same with as little noyse as may be: and likewise in the company of straungers, for too lowde a laughter, specially, for slender occasions, doo make wisemen counted foolish of sutch as know them not.

[Page 37]Item, when [...] man will tell a mery tale let him [...] it so a [...] [...]selfe be not the first that shall laughe at it. [...] smiling sound to make men know he speaketh but in sporte, is good: but a fained laughter is ill becomming. A hartie laughter (so the matter be worth it) is allow­able.

Item he must beware that while another tell a tale, or make iestures: that his wits be not caried away, so as he gaze continually in his face, and make the same countenances which he séeth the other doo: for that will make a man counted doultish.

Item if he be constrained to yawne, teache, belche, cough, snéese, clense the nose, or spit either at the bourde, or in the presence of his betters or straungers: he must suppresse the sound, and shadow the sight, as muche as he may conuiently without making it to nice.

Item in caruing himselfe or others, he must not embrew too many of his fingers, nor his thombe: nor wallow his meate vp and down to much in the sauce, because in so dooing a man shall washe his fingers in the saufe, which others will loathe, specially straun­gers.

Now to conclude, though a man either at home or among his fréends, may vse what manner he list, with­out obseruing all these ceremonies: yet it shalbe verye good somwhat to enure himselfe by dayly custome: o­therwise he shall in presence forgette bothe them and himselfe

¶ How a man shall pacifie his freeind, his better, or his equall: if he haue giuen him vnwillinglye any cause of offence.
¶ The .x. Chapter.

[Page 38] IF for a light cause, then merely thus: I am sure you take it not in ear­nest, or thinke I meant otherwise then in the best part: for if you doo, you shall doo me great wronge, Or thus: By my trouthe I did, or saide it to no such ende, as you take it: and therefore I pray you thinke of it, as I meant it. Or thus:

If I had thought it could haue bin so much mistaken, I would haue bin more wary: but let it suffice you that I ment but well and fréeindly, for otherwise I did it not I assure you: Or carnestly for some greater matter, then thus:

My hap is ill, that of so good a meaning, should fall out so ill conceiuing, or so ill successe: for that I did or sayde, was as I would haue doone to my very fréende, or would haue had doone to my selfe, it restes in your choice to beléeue me: but if you doo not, you shall wronge your selfe, as well as me, in mistrusting me without a cause, Or thus:

I can but tell you and assure you on my faithe, I meant thus, Or thus:

If I haue giuen you any cause to thinke other wise, or if it haue fallen out contrarie to mine expectation: I am not only soarie for it, but I will be readie to make any recompence I can, Or to ones better thus:

Truly sir, it was not my intent to doo herein anye thing that might offende: but I will yéelde, that it is fault mough that I vsed no more circumspection, but that you may conceiue ill of it: you néede not to giue me any penance, for that my repentance is so murche, Or thus:

If you knew my minde, you would put me in [Page 31]trust for reuenging this faut: for I shall be angrie with my selfe this good while for it.

¶ How a man shall shift of reproches or tauntes offred betweene sporte and earnest, by enuious and scornefull persons, that will seeme to doo it so cunninglye, as the other shall haue the taunt, and yet at his owne pleasure will denie it.
The .xi. Chapter.

THe best way is, if he can touche the same party as néere, without séeming to be angrie: but if he know nothing perticulerly to charge him or to mock him withall, then, to scorne him bee­twéene sporte & anger againe, as thus: Oh finely handled, were you borne so. Or thus:

Iesus who would haue thought you coulde haue throwen so harde to hit your selfe, Or thus:

I dare say, you weene you haue spoken very trimly now. Or thus:

You haue made a great speake sir, Or thus:

That is quoth you, Or thus:

I thanke you of your cost, Or thus:

It is but your good nature to take or expounde it so. Or thus:

As I remember I desired you not to say that for me: but yet you shall finde me too kinde harted to dye in your debt. Or thus:

Did any bodye teache you to say so, or comes it of your mother wit.

[Page 38]¶ Now if they shall replie, and go about to make it séeme they meane simply, then thus:

I dare say you doo, and therefore I thanke you as hartely. Or thus:

Why I trust you thinke not that I doubte of that, Or thus:

Why I take it so and therefore I commend you for it and so turne it to mirthe agayne, if the other will needs haue it so. But if the other will prosecute it with sharpe tauntes, vnder a fléeryng or laughing counte­nance, then thus:

Naye I am not skilled in iesters arte, tell me your minde in earnest, and you shall finde me ready to make you such sporte as I dare: Or thus:

I will tell you, if you will néedes become a Iester to make Gentlemen sporte: It were best to call some other to helpe countenance you, that is of your facultie, for in faith I am nothing apt for you at this time.