S. WALTER RALEIGH, TO His Sonne.
CHAP. 1.
THere is nothing more becōming a wise man [Page 2] then to make choice of Freinds; for by them thou shalt bee judged what thou art; let them therefore be wise and vertuous, and none of those that follow thee for gaine, but make election rather of thy Betters then thy Inferiors, shunning alwayes such as are poore & needie, [Page 3] for if thou giuest twenty guifts, and refuse to doe the like but once, all that thou hast done will bee lost, and such men will become thy mortall Enemies; take also especiall care, that thou neuer trust any Friend, or Soruane, with any matter that may endanger thine [Page 4] estate, for so shalt thou make thy selfe a bond-slaue to him that thou trustest, and leaue thy selfe alwayes to his mercie, and be sure of this, thou shalt neuer find a freind in these thy young yeares, whose conditions, and qualities will please the after thou commest to more [Page 5] discretion; and then all thou giuest is lost, and all wherein thou shalt trust such an one, wilbe discouered; such therefore, as are thy inferiors will follow thee, but to eate thee vp, and when thou leauest to feed them, they will hate thee; and such kinde of men, if thou preserue [Page 6] thy estate; will alwayes be had; and if thy Friends bee of better qualitie then thy selfe, thou maist been sure of two things, that they wil be more carefull to keepe thy counsell, because they haue more to loose then thou. Secondly, they esteeme thee not, because thou [Page 7] doest possesse, but for thy selfe; but if thou bee subject to any great vanitie, or ill, which I hope God will blesse thee from, then therein trust no man; for every mans folly ought to be his greatest secret. And although I perswade thee to associate thy selfe with thy betters, [Page 8] at least Peeres; yet remember alwayes, that thou venter not thy estate with any of those great ones, that shall attempt vnlawfull things, for such men labour for themselues, and not for thee; thou shalt be sure to part with them in their danger, but not in their [Page 9] honour; and to venture a true estate in present, in hope of a better in future, is meere madnes; and great men forget such as haue done them seruice, when they haue obtained what they would; and will rather hate thee for saying, thou hast beene a meanes of their preferment, [Page 10] then acknowledge it. I could giue a thousand examples, & my selfe knowes it, who haue tasted it, in all the course of my life; So that I need not in a matter so knowne, giue instance in examples. Let thy loue therefore bee, to loue God, thy Country, thy Prince, and [Page 11] thine owne estate before all others: for the Fancies of men change, and hee that loues to day, hateth to morrow; but let Reason bee thy Schoolmistris which shall guide thee aright.
CHAP. II.
THe next, and greatest care in this life, ought to be in choice of thy Wife, and the onely danger therein is Beautie, by which all men in all Ages, wise, and foolish, haue beene betrayed. And though I [Page 13] know it vaine to vse Reasons, or Arguments to dismay thee, from being captiuated therewith, there being few that euer resistted the Witcherie; yet I cannot omit to warne thee, as of other things, which may bee thy destructiō for the present time. It is true, [Page 14] that euery man preferreth his fantasie in that Appetite before other worldlie deserts, leauing the care of Honour, credit, and safetie in respect thereof; yet remember, though these afflictions doe not last, yet the bonds of Marriage, dureth to the end of the life. Nor giue thy [Page 15] humour libertie, in accompaning light Women; for though that humour may change in thee againe, yet the blot it leaues on thy honour will euer remaine. Remember secondly, that if thou marrie for Beautie, thou bindest thy selfe for all thy life, for that [Page 16] which perchance will neither last nor please thee one yere; and when thou hast it, it will be vnto thee of no price at all, for the desire dyeth when it is attayned, and the affection perisheth, when it is satisfied. Remember when thou wert a sucking Child, thou diddest [Page 17] love thy Nurse, and that thou wert fond of her, after a Child thou didst love thy dry Nurse, and didst forget the other, after that thou didst also despise her, so will it be in thy liking in elder yeares; & therefore, though thou canst not forbeare to love, yet forbeare to linke, and after a [Page 18] while thou shalt find an alteration in thy selfe, and see another far more pleasing then the first, second, or third love: yet I wish thee above all the rest, have care thou doest not marry an uncomely Woman for any respect, comelinesse in Children is riches, if nothing else bee left [Page 19] them, and if thou have care for thy races of Horses, and other beasts, value the shape of thy children before Aliants or riches; Have care therefore of both together, for if thou have a faire Wife, & a poore one, if thine owne estate bee not great, assure thy selfe that Love abideth [Page 20] not with want; for shee is the companion of plentie, for I never knew yet a poore Woman excoeding faire, that was not made dishonest by one or other in the end. This, BERSHEBA taught her Sonne SALOMON; Favour is deceitfull, and Beautie is vanitie, shee addeth that [Page 21] a wise woman overseeth the wayes of her Husband, and eateth not the bread of idlenesse; have therefore, ever more care, that thou be beloved of thy wife, then thy selfe besotted don her, and thou shalt judge of her love by these two abservations: first if thou perceive shee [Page 22] have care of thy estate, and exercise her selfe therein; the other, if she please thee and study it, and bee sweet unto thee in conversation without thy instruction, for Love needes no teaching nor precept; on the otherside, bee not sowre nor sterne to thy wise, for cruelty ingendereth [Page 23] no other thing then hatred, let her have equall part of thy estate whilest thou livest, if thou finde her sparing, and honest, but what thou giuest after thy death, remē ber that thou givest it to an enemie, and most times to a strā ger, for hee that shall marry thy Wife shall [Page 24] despise thee, thy memory, and thine, shall possesse the quiet of thy labour, the fruit which thou hast planted, enioy thy love, and spend with ioy and ease what thou hast spared, and gotten with case, and travell; yet alwayes remember, that thou leave not thy Wise to bee a [Page 25] shame unto thee after thou are dead, but shee may live according to thy estate; especially, if thou hast few Children, and them provided for; but how soever it bee, or whatsfoever thou finde, leave thy Wife no more then of necessitie thou must, but onely duting her widdowhood, [Page 26] for if shee love againe, lether not enjoy her second love in the same Bed wherein shee loved thee, nor flye to future pleasures with those feathers which death hath pulled from thy wings, but leave thy estate to thy House & Children in which thou deceasedst upon [Page 27] earth whilst it lasted. To conclude, Wives were ordayned to continue the generation of Man, to transferre them, and diminish them, eyther in countenance, or abilitie; and therefore thy house and estate which liveth in thy Sonne, and not in thy Wife, is to bee preferred; Let thy time of [Page 28] marriage bee in thy young, and strong yeares; for beleeve it, ever the young Wife bewrayeth the old Husband, and shee that had thee not in thy flower, will despise thee in thy fall, and thou shalt bee unto her, but a captivitie and sorrow, thy best time [...], for as [Page 29] the younger times are unfit, eyther to chuse or to governe a Wife and family; so if thou stay long, thou shalt hardly see the education of thy Children, which being left to strangers, are in effect lost, and better were it to bee unhorne then ill bred, for thereby thy posterity shall eyether [Page 30] perish or remayne a shame to thy name, and family. Furthermore, if it be late ere thou take a Wife, thou shalt spend the prime of thy life with Harlots, who destroy thy health, improverish thy estate, and indanger thy selfe, thy life, and bee sure of this, that how many lewd Women thou haft [Page 31] acquiantance withall, so many enemies thou shalt purchase to thy selfe, for there never was any such affection which ended not in hatred & disdain. Remēber the saying of SALOMON there is a way which seemeth right to a man, but the issues thereof are the wages of death. If thou canst not then abstaine [Page 32] from them in thy vaine, and unbridled times, yet remember that thou sowest on the sands, and purchase diseases, repentance, and hatred onely: therefore, bestow thy youth so, that thou mayest have comfort to remember it hath forsaken thee, and not to grieve at [Page 33] the account thereof, whilest thou art young; thou wilt thinke it will never have an end, bebold that the longest day hath his Evening, & that thou shalt enjoy it but once, that it never turnes againe, use it therefore as the Spring time which soone departeth, and wherein [Page 34] thou oughtest to plant, and sow all provisions for along and happie life.
CHAP. III.
TAke care thou bee not made a foole by flatterers, for even the wisest men are abused by these, know [Page 35] therefore, the flat terers are the worst kind of Traytors, for they will strengthen thy imperfections, encourage thee in all evils, correct thee in nothing, but so shadow, and paint all thy vices, and follies, as thou shalt never by their will discerne evill from good, or vice from [Page 36] vertue, because all Men are apt to flatter themselves to entertaine the additions of other mens prayses, it is most perilous, doe not therefore prayse thy selfe, and bee counted a vain-glorious foole, neyther take delight in thy prayse except thou deserve it, receive it from such as [Page 37] are worthy and honest, and will withal warne thee of thy faults; for flatterers have never no other vertue, they are ever base, creeping, cowardly persons, for thou shalt not find a valiāt friend that wil venter his life for thee a flatterer, but such creeping knaues as is good for nothing [Page 38] else. A flatterer, is sayd to bee a beast that flattereth biting, that biteth smelling; it is said by ESAY, in this manner; My people they that prayse thee seduce thee, and disorder the pathes of thy feete, & DAVID desireth GOD to cast out the tongue of a flatterer, but it is [Page 39] hard to know them from friends, so are they obsequious, & full of protestations; for as a Wolfe, a dog, so a flatterer resembleth a friend. A flatterer is compared to an Ape, who because shee cannot defend the house like a dog, labour as an Oxe, or beare burdens as a Horse doth, therefore [Page 40] yet play trickes, and provoke laughter; a Friend thou mayest bee sure that he will in private tell thee of thy faults, he adventures this mischiefe, to hazard thy hatred, for there are few men can endure it, every Man for the most part delighteth himselfe in prayse, which is one of the [Page 41] universall follies which bewitcheth mankind.
CHAP. IIII.
BE carefull to avoyd publike disputations at Feasts, or Tables, amongst quarrelsome persons, and eschew evermore to bee acquainted [Page 42] with Ruffians, for thou shalt bee in asmuch danger with a brawler in private quarrell, as in a battle wherein thou mayest get honour to thy selfe, and safetie to thy Prince, & countrey; but if thou bee once engaged, carry thy selfe bravely, that they may feare thee afterward; [Page 43] to shun therefore private fights, bee well advised in thy word and behaviour, for honour & shame is in the talke & tongue of a Man, jest not openly at those that are simple but remember how much thou art boūd to God who hath made thee wiser! Defame not any Woman [Page 44] publikely, though thou know her to bee evill, for those that are faulty cannot endure to be taxt, and will looke to bee avenged of thee, and those that are not guilty cannot endure unjust reproach, & as there is nothing more shamefull & dishonest, so truth it selfe [Page 45] cutteth his Throat that carieth her publikely. Doe therefore right to all Men where it may profit them, and thou shalt thereby get much love, and forebeare to speake evill things of Men though it be true, if thou bee not constrayned, and thereby thou shalt avoyde malice, and [Page 46] revenge. Doe not accuse any of any crime, if it be not to save thy selfe, thy Prince, or Countrey; for there is nothing more dishonourable. I would not have you for any respect loose your reputation, or endure publike disgrace; for better it were not to live then to live a coward, [Page 47] if the offence proceed not from thy selfe, if it bee it shall bee better to compound it upon good termes, then to hazard thy selfe, for if thou overcome, thou art under the crueltie of the Law, if thou be overcome thou art dead, or dishonoured; If thou therefore contend, [Page 48] or discourse in argument, let it bee with Wise and sober Men, of which thou mayest learne by reasoning, and not with ignorant persons, for thou shalt thereby instruct those: that will not thanke thee, and utter what they have learned from thee, but if thou know more then [Page 49] other Men, utter it when it may doe thee honour, and not in assemblies of ignorant, & common persons: Speaking much, is also a kinde of vanitie; for hee that is lavish in words, is a niggard in deeds, and as SALOMON sayth, the heart of a Foole is in his mouth, and the [Page 50] mouth of a wise Man is in his heart, because what he knoweth or thinketh hee uttereth, and by words, & discourse, Men will judge thee. For as SOCRATES saith, such as thy words are, such will thy affections bee esteemed, and such will thy deeds as thy affections, and such [Page 51] thy life as thy deeds, therefore be advised what thou dost discourse of, what thou maintaynest, whether touching Religion, estate, or vanitie, for if thou erre in the first, thou shalt bee counted prophane, in the second dangerous, in the third undiscreete, & foolish, hee that cannot [Page 34] refraine from much speaking, is like a City without wals, and lesse paines in the world a Man cannot take then to hold his tongue, therefore if, thou observest this rule in all assemblies thou shalt seldome erre, restraine thy choller, hearken much and speake little, for the [Page 53] tongue is the instrument of the greatest good, and greatest evill according to SALOMON; life, and death are in the power of the tongue: and as EURIPIDES truly affirmeth, every unbridled tongue in the end shall find it selfe unfortunate, for in all that ever I observed in the course [Page 54] of earthly things, I ever found, that Mens fortunes are oftner mard by their tongues then by their vices, and to conclude, all quarrels, mischiefe, hatred, and destruction ariseth from unadvised speech, and in much speech there are many errors, out of which thy enemies [Page 55] shall sure take the most dangerous advantage, and as thou shalt be happy if thou thy selfe observe these things, so shall it be most profitable for thee to avoyd their Companies that erre in that kind, & not to hearken to tale-bearers, to inquisitive persons, and such as busie [Page 56] themselves with other Mens estates, that creepe into houses as spyes to learne newes which concerne them not, for assure thy selfe such persons are most base, and unworthy, and I will thou take heed also, that thou art not found a lyer, for a lying spirit is hatefull [Page 57] both to GOD and Man, a lyar is commonly a Coward, for hee dares not avow the truth, a lyar is trusted of no Man, hee can have no credit neyther in publike nor private; and if there were no more argument but this, know that our Lord in Saint IOHN sayth, that it is a vice [Page 58] proper to SATAN, lying, being opposite to GODS nature, which consisteth in truth, and the gaine of lying is nothing else but not to bee trusted of any, nor to be beleeved when wee say the truth. It is sayd in the PROVERBS, that GOD hateth false lippes, and that hee that [Page 59] speaketh lyes shall perish; Thus thou seest how odious, & contrary to GOD a lyar is, and for the world, beleeve it, that it never did any Man good, except in the extremitie of saving life, for a lyar is of a base, unworthy, and cowardly spirit.
CHAP. V.
AMongst all other things of the world, take care of thy estate, which thou shalt ever preserve if thou observe these things: First, that thou knowest what thou hast, and to see that [Page 47] thou art not wasted by thy Servants and Officers; the second is, that thou never spend any thing before thou have it, for borrowing is the canker, and death of every Mans estate: The third is, that thou suffer not thy selfe to be wounded for other Mens faults, and scourged [Page 62] for other Mens offences, which is, to bee suerty for another, for thereby millions of Men have beene beggered and destroyed, paying the reckoning of other Mens ryot, and the charge of other Mens folly, and prodigality; if thou smart for thy owne sin, the paine [Page 63] is endured with some ease, and above all things bee not made an Asse to carry the burden of other Men; If thy friend desire thee to bee his suretie, give him a part of what thou hast to spare, if hee presse thee farther, hee is not thy friend at all, for friendship rather [Page 64] chooseth harme to it selfe then offereth it, if thou be bound for a stranger, thou art a foole, if for a Marchant, thou puttest thy estate to learne to swimme; If for a Churchman, he hath no inheritance; if for a Lawyer, hee will find an evasion by a syllable, or word to abuse thee; if for a [Page 65] poore Man thou must pay it thy selfe, therefore from Suretiship as from a Manslayer, or enchanter for the best profit, and returne will bee this, that if thou force him for whom thou art bound to pay it himselfe, hee wil become thy enemie, if thou use to pay it thy selfe, thou [Page 66] wilt be a begger, and beleeve thy Father in this, and print it in thy thoughts, that what vertue soever thou hast, bee it never so manifold, if thou be poore withall, thou, and thy qualities shall be despised; besides, Poverty is ofttimes sent as a curse of God it is a chaine amongst [Page 67] Men, an imprisonment of the mind, a vexation of everie worthy spirit; thou shalt neyther helpe thy selfe nor others, thou shalt drowne in thee all thy vertues, having no meanes to shew them, thou shalt bee a burthen, and Eye-sore of all thy friends, everie Man will scorne thy [Page 68] Company, thou shalt bee driven basely to begge, and depend on others, to flatter unworthy Men, to make dishonest shifts; and to conclude, poverty provokes a Man to doe infamous and detested deedes; Let no vanitie therefore, or perswasion draw thee to that worst [Page 69] of worldly miseries, if thou be rich, it will give thee pleasure in health, comfort in sicknesse, keepe thy mind and body free, save thee from many perils, relieve thee in thy elder yeares, the poore, and thy honest Friends, and give meanes to thy posteritie to live, and defend themselves, [Page 70] and thine own fame where it is said in the Proverbs, that hee shall bee sore vexed that is surety for a stranger, it is further said, the poore is hated even of his owne neighbor, but ye rich have many Friends. Lend not to him that is mightier then thy selfe, for if thou lendest him count it but [Page 71] lost, bee not suretie above thy power, for it thou bee suretie thinke to pay it.
CHAP. VI.
LEt thy servants be such as thou mayest command, and entertayne none about the but yeomen to [Page 72] whom thou givest wages, for those that will serve thee without thy hire wil cost thee trouble asmuch, as they that know their fare; If thou trust any Servant with thy purse, bee sure thou take his account ere thou sleepe, for if thou put it off thou wile then afterwards for tediousnesse [Page 73] neglect it, I my selfe have lost thereby more then I am worth. And whatsoever hee gaines thereby hee will never thanke thee, but laugh thy simplicity to scorne; and besides, it is the way to make thy Servants theeves, which else would be truest.
CHAP. VII.
EXceed not in the humour of ragges, & bravery, for these will soone weare out of fashion, but that Money in thy purse will ever be in fashion, and no Man is esteemed for gay Garments, but by Fooles and women.
CHAP. VIII.
ON the other side, take heed that thou seek not riches basely nor attaine them by evil meanes, destroy no Man for his wealth, nor take any thing from the poore, for the cry and complaint thereof will [Page 76] pierce the Heavens, and is most detestable before GOD, and most dishonourable before worthy Men: To wrest any thing from the needie and labouring Soule, will never prosper thee in ought if ought thou offend therein, but use thy poore neighbours, and tennants [Page 77] well, put not them, and their Children to a needlesse superfluitie, and expences to thy selfe. He that hath pitty on another Mans sorrowes shall bee free from it himselfe, and hee that delighteth in, & scorneth the misery of another, shall one time or other fall into it himselfe. Remember, [Page 78] hee that hath mercie on the poore lendeth unto the Lord, and the LORD will recompence him what hee hath given. I doe not understand such for poore as are vagabonds, and beggars, but those that labour to live, such as are old, and cannot travell, such [Page 79] poore vagabounds, and fatherlesse Children as are ordered to be relieved, & the poore Tenants that travell to pay their Rents, and that fall into poverty by mischance, and not by carelesse expence, on such have thou cō passion, and GOD will blesse thee for ever; Make not thy [Page 80] hungry Soule sorrowfull, deferre not the guift of the needy, for if hee curse thee in the bitternesse of his Soule, his prayer shall bee heard of him that made him.
CHAP. IX.
TAke especiall care that thou delight not in Wine, for there never was any Man that came to honour, or preferment that loved it, for it transformeth a Man into a Beast, because heate poysoneth the [Page 82] breath decayeth naturall heate, brings a Mans stomacke into an artificiall heate, deformeth the face, rotteth the teeth, and to conclude maketh a Man contemptible, soone old, and despised of all wise, and worthy Men: in thy servants, in thy selfe, and Companions, [Page 83] for it is a bewitching, and infectious vice. And remember my words, that it were better for a man to be subject to any vice then to it, for all other vanities and sinnes are recovered, but a Drunkard will never shake off the delight of beastlinesse, for the longer it [Page 84] possesseth a man the more hee will delight in it, and the elder hee groweth the more he shall be subject to it; for it dulleth the spirits and destroyeth the Body, as Ivy doth the old Tree; or as the worme that ingendreth in the cornell of the Nut Take heede therefore [Page 85] that such a curelesse Cankar possesse not thy youth, nor such a beastly infection thy old age; for thou shalt all thy life time live but the life of a beast, and after death thou shalt shortly prove a shamefull infamie to thy posteritie, who shall study to forget that such a one was [Page 86] their Father. ANACHARSIS saith, the first draught serveth for health, the second for pleasure; third for shame, fourth for madnesse, but in youth there is not so much as one draught permitted, for it putteth fire to fire, and wasteth the naturall heate, and therefore except [Page 87] thou hasten thine end, take this for a generall rule, that thou adde not an artificiall heat to thee by Wine or Spice untill thou find that time hath decayed thy naturall heate, and assoone as thou beginnest to helpe nature, the sooner shee will forsake thee, and trust not [Page 88] onely upon Art: who hath misfortune faith SALOMON, who have sorrow, and griefe, who have trouble without sighing, stripes without cause, and faintnesse of eyes, even they that sit at Wine, and straine themselves to emptie Cuppes; PLINY sayth, Wine makes [Page 89] the hand quivering, the eyes waterie, the night unquiet, lewd dreames, a stinking breath in the morne and all utter forgetfulnesse of things. Whosoever loveth Wine, shall not bee trusted of any Man, for he cannot keepe a secret, Wine maketh a man nor onely, a beast but a madman, [Page 90] & if thou love it, thy own Wife, thy Children, and thy Friends will despise thee, In drinke men care not what they say, what offence they give, they forget comelinesse, commit disorders, and to conclude, offend all vertuous & honest Company, and GOD most of [Page 91] all; to whom wee daily pray for health and a life free from paine, and yet by drunkennesse, and gluttony (which is the drunkennesse of feeding) wee draw on.
HESIOD saith, a swift hasty evill untimely, and an infamous old age. And AVSTIN describeth [Page 92] Drunkennes, in this manner: ‘ [...] est blandus Damon dulce venenum, suave peccatum, quam, qui habet seipsum non habet, quam, qui facit peccatum non facit; sed ipse est peccatum.’
INNOCENTIVO saith, ‘Quid turpius ebrioso cui foetor in ore, tramor in corpore, qui promit stulta, promit occalta, cui [...]es alebatar, facit transfermutur; nultum serrutum ubi [...]guat ebrietas at quid nos aliud designas malum?’
[Page 93]When DIOGENES saw a House to bee sold, whereof the owner was given to drinke, I thought at the last quoth DIOGENES, hee would spew out a whole house; Sciebam inquit quod domum tandem evomeret.
CHAP. X.
NOW for the world, I know it too well to perswade you to dive into the practises thereof, rather stand upon your owne guard against all that tempt you thereunto, or may practise upon you in your Conscience, [Page 95] your reputation, or your Purse; resolve that no Man is wise or safe, but he that is honest. Serve GOD, let him bee the Author of all your Actions, commend all your endeavors to him that must eyther wither, or prosper them, please him with prayer, least if hee [Page 96] frown, he confound all your fortunes & labours like drops of Rayne on the Sandy ground, let my experienced advice and fatherly instructions sink deep into your heart; So GOD direct you in all his wayes and fill your heart with his grace.