PIMLYCO. OR, Runne Red-Cap.
Tis a mad world at Hogsdon.
AT LONDON, ¶Printed for Io Busbie, and Geo LOFTIS, and are to bee sould vnder St. Peters Church in Cornehill. 1609.
Patrono Pimlyconico.
Facie Claro, Facetijs Raro, Thomae Normano.
ALL hayle, (ô Tom Norman,)
I make thee, the Foreman
Of Pimlyco Iury:
You are chargde to enquire Sir,
What kindles that fire sir,
That burnes with such fury.
What fire doe you suppose sir?
Tis the fi [...]e of your Nose sir,
Which your Face beares about.
For (like to the fornace,
That glowes in the Glasse-house,)
It neuer goes out.
To keepe that hye Colour,
And make it looke fuller,
You shall die it in graine sir:
Of the Pimlyco Iuice,
If you get the right vse,
O how well will it staine sir.
I create you Sole Patron
Of the Pimlyco Squadron,
choose therefore Ale-cunners.
That now against Easter,
(If you purpose to feast there)
may be your fore-runners.
Hoyst then vp your Sayle sir,
For rich Pimlyco Ale sir,
That cullors like Roses,
With your Copper Seale, marke sir,
All those that Embarke sir,
For Pimlyco-Noses.
Vade, Vale, Caue ne titubes.
To all Trauellers.
YOu that weare out your liues and weary your bodies, in Discouery of strange Countries, (bee it for pleasure or profite) Rig out a Fleet, and make a Voi age to an Iland which could neuer be found out by the Portugals, Spaniards, or Hollanders, but only (and that now of late) by Englishmen. The name of it is Pimlyco, Here haue I drawne a large Map of it: by this Chart, may you in a few houres, and with little or no winde, ariue in the very mouth of the Hauen. Some that haue trauelled thither, affirme it to be a part of the Continent, but the better sort of Nauigators say, it is an Iland: full of people it is, and they are very wilde, the women beeing able to endure more, and to doe better Seruice than the men. Diuers are of opinion, that it is an inchanted Iland, and haunted with strange Spirits; for the people there, once euery Moone, are either starke mad, or else loose their owne shapes, and are transformed into Beasts, yet within twelue houres, recouer their wittes and shapes againe. The Pimlyconians are most of them Malt-men, and exceeding good fellowes, all their delight beeing in Eating and Drinking; they liue not long, for a man can hardly star amongest them two dayes: if he doe, he is in great danger, by reason of a certaine disease, (which the Iland naturally breedes) called the Staggers, through which, many of them come to their Downe-fall, or if they scape that, then are they in feare to be made away by Smallshot, in discharging of which, the Pimlyconians are very actiue and cunning.
[Page] The Iland begins now to be as rich as it is populous: fish hath bin s [...]ldome taken there, but flesh is better cheape then Mackrell here. Wilde Duckes and wilde Geese flie there vp and downe in aboundance: you may haue a Goose sowe'd in Pimlyco, for the value of twelue pence sterling. Woodcockes (in many moneths of the yeere) are to be catched there by whole dozens. It is full of fatte pasture, and thats the reason such multitudes of young Colts runne there. A hot Climate it is, and by that meanes the people are subiect to infection, which takes them first in the Head, and so falls downe into their legges, and those fayling, they are (in a maner) gone. The Gouernour of the Iland hath much adoe to keepe himselfe vpright, so that he is compelled to giue those that are vnder him, often times very Hard measure, yet are they so vnruly, that euery houre one or other goes to the Pot.
Thus haue I giuen you a taste, both of the People and of the Countrie; if you sayle thither, you may drinke of deeper knowledge. But take heed you take a skilfull Pilot with you; be fraighted with as much wit as you can carry aboord, for all will be little enough to bring you from thence, and take heede what Lading you take in there, for the commodities of Pimlyco haue suncke many Merchants. Pay thankes for my Councell, and thinke well of my Pimlyconian Discouerie.
Farewell.
Pimlyco.
TRees that of late (like wasted Heyres,
Description of the Spring.
Or like old men, dryed vp with cares,)
Stood poorely, now looke fresh & gréene,
As Banck-rupts new set vp agen.
M [...]dowes that whilome barren lay,
(More naked than the trodden way,)
Weare garments now, wouen all of Flowers,
And waite on Flora in her Bowers,
Shepheards that du [...]st not, (for the cold,)
The Snowie heads of Hills behold,
Now (deftly piping) from coole Fountaines,
Lead Lambes and Kiddes vp to the Mountaines.
The Day, when all Birdes hold their Weddings,
(Dauncing Loue-measures in soft Treddings,)
Is past: The Yeare did it resigne,
In honour of Saint Valentine.
And now his Fethered Couples sing,
Their Nuptiall Songs before the Spring.
The Vernall Gates are set wide open,
And strew'd with Flowers and Herbes, in token
That May (Loues Queene) is comming in,
Who 12. full Moones hath absent bin.
In this Swéet Season, from my bed,
I earely rose, being wakened
By'th beating of a Golden-flame,
Which (to me) in at window came.
For from his Pallace in the East,
Description of the Sun-rising.
The King of Light in Purple drest,
(Set thicke with Gold and precious Stone,
Which like a Rocke of Diamond shonne,)
[Page] Was drawne along heav'ns Siluer way,
By the 4. Horses of the Day.
And as the Chariot mounted higher,
The Sun-god seem'd to ride in fire,
Forth came he in this braue adorning,
To court his Loue (the Rosio Morning.)
The Chaines of Pea [...]le about her necke,
He tooke from her himselfe to decke,
They were her fauours and he wore them
Till night, and did agen restore them.
The wonders (of vn-valued worth,)
Which these two wrought, intic'd mee forth;
Weary with walking, downe I threw
My bodie, on a bancke where grew
The pretty Dazie, (Eye of Day,)
The Prime-Rose which does first display
Her youthfull coloors, and first dies;
‘Beautie and Death are Enemies.’
Cowslips sprung likewise here and there,
Each blade of grasse (stiffe as a Speare)
Standing vpright to guard the Flowers,
As if they had been their Paramoures.
Anon a Yonker and his Lasse,
Might I see wrastling on the Grasse,
Shee swore shee would not fall, and yet
Shee fell, and did a Greene-Gowne get,
(A Greene-gowne, but no Gownè of Greene.)
At length (in Couples) more were séene:
Som ran, some walked, and some sat kissing,
Nothing was lost, but what was missing.
So close they ioynd in their Delights,
That they all seem [...] d Hermaphrodites,
Or rather Mermaides on the land,
Because the Shees had th [...] vpper hand.
They grac'd the fields, the fields them grac'd,
For tho none were in order plac'de,
But sat (as Flowers in Gardens grow)
T [...]inly, which makes the brauer show.
[Page] Yet (like so many in one Roome,)
All seem'd to weaue within a loome,
Some curious piece whose beautie stands,
on the rare Skill of sundry hands.
As thus they saf, and I them sraw,
A Frame (as rare) mine [...] draw
(With wonder) to [...] a farre,
The brightnes of the Kingdomes
London.
Starre;A thousand Stéeples, T [...]rrets, Towers,
(Lodgings, all fit for Emperours.)
Lifted their proud heads [...] the Skie,
As if they had sole-Souera [...]gntie,
Or'e all the Building [...] in the [...]an [...],
And séem'd on Hilles of Gould to stand,
For the Suns Beames on them being shed,
They shewed like Mynes new burnished.
Upon the Left hand and the Right,
Two
Islington, & Hogsdon.
Townes (like Citties) [...] the Sight,With pleasure and with admiration,
For (as they stand) they beare proportion,
As to an Armie doe the Wings,
(The maine Battalion led by Kings.)
Mine eye his obiects could not vary,
Yet tooke delight here still to tarry,
But not knowing how to weare out time,
By chance I found a Booke in Ryme,
Skelton.
Writ in an age when few wryt well,
(Pans Pipe (where none is) does excell.)
O learned Gower! It was not thine,
Nor Chaucer, (thou art more Diuine.)
To Lydgates graue I should do wrong,
To call him vp by such a Song.
No, It was One, that (boue his Fate,)
Would be Styl'd Poet Laureate;
Much like to Some in these our daies,
That (as bold Prologues do to Players,)
With Garlonds haue their Fore-he [...]ds bound,
Yet onely empty Sculles are crownde:
[Page] Neuer stopping,
But euer dropping.
Her Skin loose and slacke,
Grayned like a Sacke,
With a crooked backe.
Her eyen gowndy,
Are full, vnlowndy,
For they are bleared,
And shee gray heared,
Iawed like a Ietty,
A man would haue pitty,
To see how shees gummed,
Fingerd and thumbed;
Gentlye Ioynted,
Greased and annointed,
Up to the knuckles,
The bones her buckles,
Together made fast,
Her youth is far past:
Footed like a Plane,
Legges like a Crane,
And yet shee will Iet,
Like a Iolly Set,
In her fur'd flocket
And gray russet rocket,
With Simper the cocket.
Her Huke of Lincolne greene,
It had beene hers I weene,
More than fortie yeare,
And so it doth appeare:
And the greene bare threds
Looke like Sere weedes,
Withered like hay.
[Page] The wooll worne away,
And yet I dare say,
Shee thinks herselfe gay
Upon the holliday,
When shee doth her array,
And girdeth in her getes,
Stitched & prancked with pletes:
Her Kirtle Bristow red,
With cloaths vppon her head,
That they wey a sowe of lead,
Writhen in a wonder wise,
After the Sarazens gise,
With a whim wham,
Knit with a trim tram,
Upon her braine pan
Like an Egiptian,
Capped about,
When shee goeth out,
Her selfe for to shew,
Shee draweth downe the dew,
With a paire of heeles,
As broad as two wheeles,
Shee hobbles as shee goes,
With her blancket hose,
Her sboone smeard with tallow,
Greased vppon dirt,
That danbeth the Skirt.
Primus Passus.
And this comely Dame,
I vnderstand her name
Is Elynor Rumming,
At home in her wonning:
And as men say
[Page] Shee dwelt in Sothray,
In a certen stede
Beside Lederhede,
Shee is a tonnish gib,
The Deuill and shee be Sib.
I Red and smilde, but at the last,
[...]s toward the towne mine eye I cast,
In mingled troopes I might beholde
Women and men (some yong, some olde)
Like to a Spring-tide, strongly flowing
To Hogsdon, not one backward going.
Out of the Citty rush'd the streame,
A while (me thought) I did but dreame,
That I saw people, till at last,
Hogsdon ore-flowde, it swel'd so fast.
I musde that from the Citty venturde
Such heapes: for tho the Spring was enterde,
They flock'd not thus to heare the Tunc
Of that bird who sings best in Iune,
(Yclip'd the Cuckoe) as yet her note
Shee had not perfect, but by rot [...]:
Ne durst shee sing yet, being not able
In English, but in—to gabble.
Nor was it like they made these througs,
To heare the Nightingals sad songs,
For Lust (in these dayes) beares such price,
They are but mock'd that checke that Vice.
Still more and more this Sea brake in,
Yet ebb'd in one h [...]lfe houre agen,
The Voyagers that first did Vaile,
(Hauing their Lading) homeward s [...]ile.
But with a side-winde were they driuen,
Yet all cast anchor in one Hauen.
Up went my sailes. With much ad [...],
In the same Port I anchorde too.
Being landed there, all I could finde
[Page] Was this, They c [...]me to [...] the Hinde.
Into their Parke I forthwith wente
Being entred, all the ayre was rent
With a most strange confused noyse,
That sounded nothing but meere voyce.
Amazde I stood to sée a Crowd
Of Ciuill Throats stretch [...]d out so lowd:
(As at a New-play) all the Roomes
Did swarme with Gentiles mix'd with Groomes.
So that I truly thought, all These
Came to sée Shore, [...] Pericles,
And that (to haue themselues [...] plac'd)
Thus brought they victualls (they fed so fast)
But then (agen mee thought) This shoale
Swom thither for Bakers doale
Or Brewers, and that for their soules sakes,
They thus were seru'd with Ale and cakes:
For Iugs of Ale came réeling in,
As if the Pots had drun [...]rds bin.
A sayler (that had narrow eyes
Through fumes that vp to his brainess did rize)
Got I by th' arme, (children they say,
And Fooles and Dronkerds, truth bewray)
Him therefore I desirde to show
Why all these met.—Tis Pimlyco—
My Friend, Tis Pimlyco (hee cryde)
And no worde could I get beside.
This made me madder then before,
I ask'd another, and hee swore
Zoundes—I'me ten strong in Pimlyco—
What's that saide I?—stowt Pimlyco—
And backe, at least three yardes hée réeles,—
Pimlyco trips vp good mens heeles
(Lisping) he cryes, and downe he falls,
Yet for more Pimlyco—still he calls.
What Pimlyco should meane I wondred,
Because so lowd, that word still thundred
From all their throats through all their eares,
[Page] At length, a reuerend man (whose yeares
Had tourn'd his head and beard all gray,
And came but to beholde That Play,
And not to act himselfe The Vice)
Tolde all the Dronken Misteries.
And that the Ale got such high Fame,
Only by that fond, senceleffe Name.
I laugh'd to see a World (so wise,
So subtile in all [...]illames,
So scorning to be laugh'd to scorne)
Should be so drownde with Ale in Corne.
Yet since in Hogsdon all ran mad,
I playde the Mad-man too, and had
My Iug brought in; a draught or twaine
Made such hot boyling in my braine,
That (faster then their Pots were [...]de)
From my Inuention were di [...]ilde
Verses in Pimlyco's high prayse,
Pimlyco crownde my head with bay [...]s.
For straight I felt my selfe a Poet,
And (like some fooles) in Rime must show it.
Yet first I tournde o're Skeltons Rimes
With those mad times to weigh out Times,
And try how Elynor Rummings Ale,
Was Brew'd; and Drawne, and set to Sale,
What Guests drunk there, and what Drinke heere,
In this wilde Lantskip shall appeare.
BUt to make vp my tale,
She brueth nappy Ale,
And maketh thereof poort sale,
To trauaylers, to tynkers,
To sweaters, to swinkers,
And all good Ale drinkers,
That will nothing spare,
But drinke till they stare,
[Page] And bring them selues bare,
With now away the Mare,
And let vs flay care,
As wife as an hare.
Come who so will
To Elynor on the hill,
With fill the Cup fill,
And sit thereby still.
Early and late,
Thither commeth Kate,
Cisley and Sare,
With their legges bare,
And also their feet,
Hardly full vnsweet,
With their heeles dagged,
Their kirtles all to iagged,
Their smockes all to ragged,
With titters and tatters,
Bring dishes and platters,
With all their might running,
To Elynor Rumming,
To haue of her Tunning,
Shee leaueth them of the hame,
And thus beginneth the game.
Some wenches come vnbraced,
With their naked pappes,
That flippes and flappes,
It wigges and it wagges,
Like tawney saffron bagges,
A sort of fowle drabbes,
All scuruy with scabbes,
Some be fly bitten,
Some skewd as a kitten,
[Page] Some with a shooe clowte,
Binde their heads about,
Some haue no haire lace,
Their lockes about their face,
Their tresses vntrust,
All ful of vnlust.
Some looke strawry,
Some cawry mawry,
Full vntidy tegges,
Like rotten egges,
Such a lewd sort,
To Elinor resort,
From tyde to tyde;
Abide, abide,
And to you shalbe told,
How her Ale is sold,
To mawt and to molde.
Secundus Passus.
Some haue no monney,
That thither commy,
For their Ale to pay,
That is a shrewd aray.
Elinour sweared, nay
Yee shall not beare away
My Ale for nought
By him that me bought.
With hey dog hay,
Haue these dogges away,
With get me a staffe,
The swine eate my draffe,
Strike the hogs with a club,
They haue drunke vp my swilling tub,
For be there neuer so much prease[?],
[Page] These swine goe to the hye dese,
The sow with her pigges,
The Bore his taile wrigges
Against the hye b [...]nch,
With fo, there is a s [...]ench,
Gather vp thou w [...]nch,
Seest thou not what is fall,
Take vp drit and all,
And beare out-of the hall,
God giue it ill preuing,
Clenly as euill cheuing.
But let vs turne playne,
There wee left agayne,
For as ill a patch as that,
The hennes run in the mash fat,
For they goe to roust,
Strayt ouer the Ale ioust,
And dong when it comes
In the Ale tonnes,
Then Elino [...] taketh
The mash boll, and shaketh
The hennes dong away,
And skommeth it in a tray
Where as the Yest is,
With her maungy fistis:
And sometimes she blens,
The dong of her hennes
And the Ale together,
And saith Gossip come hither,
This Ale shall be thicker,
And floure the more quicker,
For I may tell you,
I learned it of a Iew,
[Page] When I began to brew,
Drinke now while it is new.
And yee may it brooke,
It shall make you looke
Yonger than you bee
Yeeres two or three.
For yee may proue it by me,
Behold she said, and see,
How bright I am of blee,
Ich am not cast away,
That can my husband say,
When wee kisse and play,
In lust and in liking,
He calleth me his whyting,
His Mulling, and his Nittine
His Nobbes and his Cunny,
His sweeting and his honny,
With basse my pretty bonny,
Thou art worth good and monny,
This make I my falyre fanny,
Till that he dreame and dronny.
For after all our sport,
Than will hee ront and snort,
Then sweetly together we lye,
As two Pigges in a stye.
But we will turne playne,
Where we left agayne.
Tertius passus.
In stead of coyne and monny,
Some bring her a conny,
And some a pot with honny,
Some a salt, and some a spoone,
Some their hose, some their shoon.
[Page] Some ran a good trot,
With a skillet or a pot, &c.
Cum multis alijs, quae nunc perscribere longum est.
Hoc est Skeltonicum, Incipit Pimlyconicum.
OF Pimlyco now let vs sing,
Rich Pimlyco, the new-found Spring,
Where men and women both together,
To warme their vaines in frosty weather,
Where men and women hot blouds coole,
By drincking Pimlycoes boyled poole.
S [...]rong Pimlyco, the nourishing foode
To make men fat, and bréed pure blood;
Deepe Pimlyco, the Well of Glee,
That drawes vp merry company.
Bewitching Pimlyco, that tyes
The Rich and Poore, the Foole and Wise,
All in one knot. Of that we write;
Inspire your Poet to indite,
You Barlie Muses Pimlyconian,
He scornes the Muses Helyconian;
(Poore Soules [...]) they none but water drincke,
But Pimlyco dropt into his yncke,
His lines shall flye with merry gale,
No Muse is like to Pimlyco Ale.
Not the neat Wine De Orleans;
Nor of Hebrian, (best in France;)
Not Gascoigne, nor the Burdeux Vine,
Nor that which flowes from swift-foote Rhyne;
Not Sheerys S [...]cks, nor Charnico,
Peter Semine, nor Mallago,
Nor th' Amber-colored Candie grape,
Which druncke with Egges makes men to—Ape.
Nor can the Greekish Vintage show
[Page] A liquor matching Pimlyco.
Not Hipocras (the drinke of women.)
Nor Bastards (that are déere, but common,)
Nor the fat lecherous Alligant,
Whose Iuice repaires what Backes doe want.
Nor Waters drawne by Distillations,
With medcinable Operations,
As Rosa Solis, Aqua Vitae,
And Nugs of Balme, so quicke, and sprighty;
No, nor the Irish Vsquebagh,
Of which, the Kerne whole pyntes will quaffe,
Strong Vsquebagh! that hotlier burnes
Than Sackes, and white the Entrailes turnes.
Nor welsh M [...]theglyn, (browne as berry)
La [...]cashier Syder, Werstershier Perry,
Nor yet a draught of Darby Ale,
Nor mother Bunch, (long since growne stale,)
Nor that old two-peny Ale of Pynder,
That many a Porter oft did hinder
From carrying Burdens, for (alacke!)
The Ale had strength to breake his backe.
Nor all those Drinkes of Northren Climes,
Whose Brewings shall fill vp our Rimes,
Brant, Rensque, and the cleere Romayne,
The Belo, Crasno, and Patisane,
Peeua (to them as is our Béere,)
With spiced Meades (wholsome, but déere)
As Meade Obarne, and Meade Cherunck,
And the base Quasse by Pesants drunck.
With all the rest that whet the sprites
Of Ruffes and cold Muscouytes.
Not all these Drinkes, nor thowsand moe,
Can reach the fame of Pimlyco.
To prooue (ô Pimlyeo) these thine honors,
Armies each day spread Crimson benners,
And with h [...]e Colours, and quicke shot,
Fight st [...]fly till the field be got.
All Sexes, all Degrées, all Nations,
[Page] All men of Arts or Occupations,
(As if for gayne to some great Fayre,)
Onely for Ale to thee repayre.
The English, Scottish, Dutch and French,
Sit whistling here vpon one bench:
If but of Pimlyco they drinke hard,
Betwixt them falls not one foule word,
They kisse like brothers, Dutch, French, Scot,
Are all One in a Pimlyco Pot.
Hither come Sergeants with their Maces,
Hither come Bailiffes with red faces,
Hither come Lads and greaste Lownes,
Hither come pockets full of Crownes,
Hither come those can scarce find Baile
For sixe pence, yet spend eight in Ale.
Usurers battle (here) their pence,
The Diuell can scarce kéepe Brokers hence,
The Lawyer that in Terme-time takes
Fat fées, pleades here for Ale and Cakes.
Doctors, Proctors, Clarkes; Atturneis,
To Pimlyco make sweattie iourneis,
And (being well Arm'd with Buckram bags,)
Fight vnder Hogsdons skarlet flags.
The Winde our Merchants this way driues,
Whilst their men take vp for their wi [...]es
Roomes before hand: and oft it hits,
Not farre from them some Fish-wife sits.
For (here) of manners none take héed,
First come, first seru'd, first seru'd first féed.
Citizens, Souldiers, Sea-men, Schollers,
Gentlemen, Clownes, Millers, Colliers,
Mercers, Taylors, Poets, Booke-bynders,
Grocers, Curriers, Goldsmiths, goldfiners,
Silkemen, Botchets, Drapers, Dray-men,
Courtiers. Carters, Church-men, Lay-men,
Midwiues, Apple-wiues, Cheape-fide Ladies,
Old Beldames, and y [...]ng Tiffany Babies,
Scotch-bums, red Wast-coats, fine Pawne-wenches,
[Page] In the same roomes, on selfe same benches,
Crown'd All together: All Drincke, All Pay,
Why then should any giue the way?
R [...]omes here are by Reuersion got,
As Offices, so men win the Pot.
B [...]th Pray and Pay, and wait, and woo [...],
That Foure may buy, what goes for two,
Yet tis refusde. The Sexton scornes
To budge to a Br [...]ght. All stay their Tourns
As [...] the Conduit or the Mill,
And nothing [...]s heard, but Fill, Fill, Fill,
Bespeaking one anothers Cups.
As men do Chayres in Barbors shops
On Christmasse Geues. A hundred laps
[...]eld vp for cakes; As many caps
Put off for Ale, whose iuice embalmes
Their Browes 'tis beg'd, as t'were an almes,
[...]et all hold Siluer vp, and cry
Take mine, (as at the Lottery.)
Drawer, néed not baule Anon, Anon,
Each Guest for his owne Drinck does run,
Braue men turne Tapsters, Women Caters,
For Te [...] that si [...], there's Forty Waiters,
French-Hoo [...]s, and Veluet Caps being prowd
Sometimes, i'th H [...]roost close to crowd.
O strange [...] what makes the Cripple heere?
When strongest legs can hardly beare
Those that stand on them, if they stand
[...]ut stifsly too 't in Pimlyco Land:
Yet euen that Wretch, (that halts on wood)
All hoe fiue furlongs off it stood,
Swe [...]res hèe [...]le lympe too 't, and too 't hée goes,
And being there, his false legs does lose.
After him, gro [...]es the Blind, and cries,
P [...]ly [...] drincks not out mine Eyes.
Pimlyco does so please the Mouth,
They come from East, West, North, [...]sh.
O Thou, ( [...] Pimlyco [...]an Ho [...],)
Which Scores what Ale and Cakes come in,
Of greater R [...]ckoning hadst thou bin.
Hadst thou had Braines, but like to some,
To know what Wether was to come
By'th Almanacke; thou hadst changde thy lucke,
Thy Hynde [...]re this had prou'de a Bucke.
Alacke! thy wits are lost in Brewings;
Th'art growne starke mad with too good Doings
Thou, onely cryest, Who payes the Shot?
(When the Maine Matters are forgot.)
Thou Barmy Foole, at last grow wise,
Build thy House round with Galleries,
Like to a Play-house; for thy Ale
(Bée't bad, bée't good, béet new, bée't Stale)
Brings thée good Audience: from each shore,
Ships of Fooles lanch, to séeke thy Dore;
Ere prodigall Gulls saile backe agen,
The [...]'le pay thée money to come in:
Kéepe then thy wife and thou, the dores,
Let those within wipe out the Scores.
Yet (O vile counsell!) why do I labour
To haue a Christian wrong his neighboure
Each afternoone thy House being full,
Makes Fortune blind, or Gelds The Bull.
No, no, (thou Pimlyconian Brewer)
Thy Castle of Comfort stands so sure,
(Moated with Ale, and wal'd with [...]akes)
Tho whirle-winds blow, it neuer shakes;
Therefore it needs no reparations,
No Rampyres, [...] no Fortifications,
But onely Shot: Charge them Pell Mell,
Let Pimlyco Ordinance go off well;
And Hogsdon séemes a Towne of warre,
Where Constables the Captaines are,
Leading to Stocks (with Bils and Stanes)
Whole troopes of druncken Whores and Knaues,
Who (tho they cannot stand) yet go,
[Page] Swearing, Zounds hey braue Pimlyco.
You therefore that do trade in Cans,
(Virginians, or Cracouians,)
You that in whole pots drinke your bane,
Lying dead-druncke at The Labour in vaine:
You Apron-men, that wéekely get[?]
By your hard labour and your sweat,
Siluer (earn'd deare, but honestly)
Enough to find your Family,
Now leaue those places (nam'd before)
Or if you'le Drinke, maintaine a Score,
But let your Wages (in one Summe)
Be wisely sau'd till Sunday come,
But (with it) buy, nor bread, nor broth,
Nor house, nor hose, nor shooe, nor cloth,
For food let wife and children Die,
Sucke Pimlyco downe merrily,
There dance and spend the day in laughter,
T'is meat and drinke a whole wéeke after.
You Ballad-Singers, that doe liue
On halfe penny almes that Ideots giue,
In euery Street (to druncken Notes)
Set out your villanous yelping throates,
That through all eares your Tunes may flow,
With praises of Browne Pimlyco.
You Poets that of Helicon boast,
Whose mornings draught without a toast
You alwayes take, but ne're [...] so,
Comming to tipple Pimlyco,)
O be more wise, and scorne that licquor,
Drincke this, which makes your Muses quicker,
Of This, thrée full Pots (I assure yee)
Leaues you starke drunke with brauer furie.
You that plough vp the salt Sea-flood,
To fetch from farre, the Grapes deare blood.
And with Out-landish drinks confound
And mad the Brayne that is most sound:
Your very Ships going neuer so steddy,
[Page] (With that moist Freight) but euer giddy
And réeling (as an ominous Sign [...],
That Those must réele, who Trade in Wine,
From S [...]ore to Shore what néed you saile,
When Pimlyco breeds such Dragon-Ale?
You that of men déere recknings make,
Yet at the Barre (for what they Take)
Arraigne them, Charging them to Stand,
Till they haue all held vp The Hand:
Downe with your Bushes, and your Grates,
Draw your selues thorow the Citie Gates,
To Sacke the Walls of Pimlyco,
Which day by day more strong do grow,
And will in time (to their owne Trench)
Driue backe both Spanish Wines and French:
Or if no Shot can batter downe
This Pimlyco Fort; then, in the Towne,
And in the fields and Common way,
Pitch Tents, and openly [...] play
Your Banners (drawne with Red and White)
Vnder those cullors Men will fight
Till they can stand, else All are lost,
And cut off by the Pimlyco [...].
Here therefore sownd, Anon, Anon,
For the mayne Army here coms on.
O you that (euery Moone) hold Feasts,
(And in the True-loue-knot are Guests)
And doe with Wreathes your Temples crowne,
(At Lothbury, and at Horsey-downe,)
Let those Deare Fleshly-Meetings go,
And Bath your Braynes in Pimlyco.
You that by Engin [...] Whéeles can force
Tydes to run backe and turne their Course,
Whose wits in water still do Diue,
(O, if you wish that Trades should thriue,)
With lowd voyce to the Citie speake,
That she her Conduit-Heads would breake,
And onely build One Cond [...]-Head.
[Page] At Pimlyco, that through pipes of Lead.
The pretious Streame may be connayd,
And Crafts- [...]en so at home be stayd.
You Bawds, you Pa [...]dars, Puncks and whores.
That are chalk'd vpon Ale-house scores,
You that lay Pet [...]oats, Gownes, and Smock [...]
To pawne for drincks to ure the Poxe,
At Pimlyco some will take them from you,
To drinke there then, shall best become you.
Of Aley-Ilands there are more,
(Some new discouered, some before)
But neither th'Old nor New of name,
Can equall Pimlyco in fame.
Of these strange Ilands, Malta is one,
Malta does Border close vpon
The Continent of Pimlyco,
And by her Streame [...] rich does grow,
On Pimlyco Seas when tis fowle weather,
That no Ship can get in; then hither,
(To Malta) flie they with swol [...]e Saile,
To buy the Iew of Malta's Ale.
Thy Knights (O Malta) now do flourish,
Pimlyco their renowne does [...]rish,
All fealty therefore they doowe
And Seruice to guard Pimlyco.
Tripoly from the Turke was taken,
But Tripoly is againe forsaken;
What Newes from Tripoly? Would you know?
Christians flye thence to Pimlyco.
Eye-bright, (so fam'd of late for Beere)
Although thy Name be numbred hiere,
Thine ancient Honors now runne low;
Thou art struck blind by Pimlyco.
The New-found Land, is now growen stale.
Few to Terceras Ilands sayie;
The once well-mand, [...] Ship of H [...]ll,
That spred a sayle, proud, sti [...], and full,
Leake [...] oft, and does at Anchor lye:
Not halfe so many Christians (now)
Their knées before his White-crosse bow.
Run, (Red-cap) Run, amongst the Rest,
Thou art nam'd last, that once wert best,
But (Red-cap) now thy W [...]ll is worne,
By Pimlyco is Red-cap shorne.
Our weary Muse (here) leapes to Shore,
On these rough Seas she Sayles no more,
This Voyage made shèe (for your sakes,)
Spending thus much in Ale and Cakes.
FINIS.