A Womans Birth, OR
A perfect relation more witty then common,
Set forth to declare the descent of a Woman.
To a pleasant new tune.
THere is a certaine kind of idle Creature,
The which by foolish name, we call a woman:
I could fall out and rayle upon dame Nature,
That ere she fram'd such creatures to undoe man,
Many have wondered how it came to passe,
But note, and I will tell you how it was.
When Nature first brought forth her son and heire,
The Gods came all one day to gossip with her,
Her husband Hymen glad to sée them there,
Dranke healths apace to bid them welcome thither,
Till drunke, to bed he went, and in that fit,
He got the second birth a femall chit.
The privy Counsell of the heavens and Planets,
Whose Counsell governes all affaires on earth:
They held a consultation in their Senats,
What should become of this prodigious birth:
These strange effects, and correspondent qualities,
Which are brought forth by course, & by formalities.
Saturne gave Sullennesse, Iove Soveraignty,
Mars suddaine Wrath, and unappeased hare,
Phoebus a garish looke and wandring Eye,
Venus Desire, and Lust insatiafe,
Mercury Craft, and déep dissembling gave her,
Luna unconstant Thoughts, still apt to waver,
Iuno the wife of Iove, gave Iealousie,
A pettish Anger, and revengefull spirit,
In which she will persist perpetually,
As if her soule could boast no other merit:
Though Love at first beare rule in her supremely,
Wanting her wil ther's none hates more extremely.
Flora bestow'd upon her chéeke, a hue
Of red and white, to make her feature pleasant,
That she the easier might the heart subdue,
Of King, Prince, Courtier, Cittizen or Peasant,
But he that trusts her faith, it is so slacke,
Her red and white to willow turnes, and blacke.
Scornefull Diana did her mind inspire
With cruell Coynesse, and obdurate Passions,
That man might thinke her soule had most desire,
Still to live single, without alterations,
When heaven knows 'tis but her pride of mind,
That thinkes none good enough to court her kind.
The second part,
to the same tune.
THus qualified, into the world was brought,
This strang & uncought piece of earth call'd woman,
Nature afraid her husband should have thought
That she had plaid the whore, or béene too common,
Besought Lucina from old Hymens sight,
Close to convey it unto Venus bright.
Where being brought by Venus she did learne
To use loose gestures with her hand and eye,
With fained sighs, false teares, not to discerne,
And divers such loose tricks of Levity,
Lisping of kisses, smilings and such fits,
As well might dride a kind man from his wits.
Venus well skill'd and apt to make escape,
Sent it to be brought up among the Fayries,
Thus finding it to prove a pretty Ape,
Wanton and merry, full of mad fegaries,
She brought it home and gave it to her son,
To be his playmate and companion.
Mulciber envying that his wife had got,
A nurcery contrary to his mind,
He call'd the Cyclopes, and with fire hot
They forg'd her heart (iust to it's proper kind)
Of stéele, i'th fashion of an Anvill hard,
That should no fire nor stroakes a whit regard.
I'th time of's Raigne, imparted to this brat,
Mischievous fancies and a proud conceit.
That should desire to doe she knows not what,
And that donation did her so inspire,
If wishes might prevayle, the world she'd fire.
The winged Child no sooner did espy her.
But he enamour'd of her feature grew,
The god of Love himselfe was set on fire,
And néeds would change his mother for a new:
If she on Lov's great power can worke such rape,
How shall his subiects with their weaknesse scape?
He prank't it up in Fardingals and Muffs,
In Masks, Rebato's Shapperowns, and Wyers,
In paintings, powd [...]ing, Perriwigs and Cuffes,
In Dutch, Italian, Spanish, French attires:
Thus was it born brought forth & made Loues baby,
And this is that which now we call a Lady.
But you yong men to whom she may be sent,
Take some aduisementere you entertaine her,
Pray use her kindly for her high d [...]scent,
Courting and kissing is the way to gaine her,
If she loue true. Ile speake this in her praise,
Each houre shée'le blesse the number of your dayes.
Philo-balladus.
FINIS.
Printed at London for Francis Grove, dwelling upon Snow-hill.