Newes from Court.

IT is thought heere, that there are as great miseries beyond happinesse, as a this side it, as being in loue. That truth is euery mans by assen­ting. That time makes euery thing aged, and yet it selfe was neuer but a minute old. That next sleep, the greatest deuourer of time is businesse: the greatest stretcher of it, Passion; the truest measure of it, Contemplation. To be saued, alwaies is the best plot: and vertue alwaies cleeres her way as she goes. Vice is euer behind-hand with it selfe; that wit and a wo­man are two fraile things, and both the frailer by concur­ring. That the meanes of begetting a man hath more en­creast mankind then the end. That the madnes of loue [Page] is to be sicke of one part, and cured by another. The mad­nes of ielousie, that it is so diligent, and yet hopes to loose his labour. That all women for the bodily part, are but the same meaning put in diuers words; that the difference in the sense is their vnderstanding. That the wisdome of Action is Discretion, the knowledge of contemplation is truth, the knowledge of action is men. That the first considers what should be, the latter makes vse of what is. That euery man is weake in his owne humors. That eue­rie man a litle beyond himselfe is a foole. That affectation is the more ridiculous part of folly, then ignorance. That the matter of greatnesse is comparison. That God made one world of Substances; man hath made another of Arte and Opinion. That money is nothing but a thing which Art hath turned vp trumpe. That custome is the soule of circumstances. That custome hath so far preuailed, that truth is now the greatest newes.

Answer to the Court newes.

THat Happines and Miserie are Antipodes. That Good­nesse is not Felicitie, but the rode thither. That mans strength is but a vicisitude of falling and rising. That only to refraine ill, is to be ill still. That the plot of saluation was laid before the plot of Paradise. That en­ioying is the preparatiue to contemning. That hee that seekes opinion beyond merit, goes iust so far backe. That no man can obtaine his desires; nor the world hath not to fill his measure. That to studie men is more profitable than bookes. That mens loues are their afflictions. That [Page] titles of honour are tartles to still ambition. That to be a King is fames butt, and feares quiuer. That the soules of women and louers are wrapt vp in the portmanque of their senses. That imagination is the end of man. That wit is the web, and wisdome the woose of the cloth, so that womens soules were neuer made vp. That enuy knowes what it will not confesse. That Goodnesse is like the art prospectiue, one point center, begetting infinite rayes. That man, woman, and the deuill, are the three degrees of comparison. That this newes holds number but not weight, by which couple all things receiue forme.

Country Newes.

THat there is most heere, for it gathers in going. That reputation is measured by the acre. That pouertie is the greatest dishonestie. That the pitty of (alas poore soule) is for the most part mistaken. That rost beefe is the best smell. That a Iustice of peace is the last relique of Idolatry. That the allegorie of Iustice drawne blind, is turned the wrong way. That not to liue to heauenly, is accounted great wrong. That wisdome descends in a race. That we loue names better than persons. That to hold in knights-seruice is a slipperie tenure. That a Papist is a new word for a traytor. That the dutie of religion is lent not pai'd. That the reward is lost in the want of hu­militie. That the Puritane persecution is as a cloud that can hide the glory of the light, but not the day. That the emulation of English and Scots to bee the Kings country­men, [Page] thrust the honour on the Welch. That a Cour­tier neuer attaines his selfe knowledge but by report. That his best [...] is a hearne dogge. That many great men are [...] they know not their own Fathers. That loue is the [...] worme. That a woman is the effect of her owne first same. That to remember, to know, and to vnderstand, are three degrees not vnderstood. That country ambition is [...], for there is nothing aboue a man. That fighting i [...] a Seruingmans valour, martyrdom their Masters. That to liue long is to fill vp the daies wee liue. That the [...]ale of some mens religion reflects from their friends. That the pleasure of vice is indulgence of the present, for it endures but the acting. That the pro­perreward of goodnesse is from within, the externall is pollicie. That good and ill is the crosse and pile in the game of life. That the soule is the lampe of the body, reason of the soule, religion of reason, faith of religion, Christ of faith. That circumstances are the atomies of policie, censure the being, action the life, but successe the ornament. That authoritie presseth downe with weight and is thought violence: policie trips vp the heeles and is called dexteritie. That this life is a throng in a narrow passage, hee that is first out finds ease, hee in the middle worst, hemb'd in with troubles, the hindmost that driues both our afore him, though not suffering wrong, hath his part in doing it. That God requires of our debts a recko­ning, not payment. That heauen is the easiest purchase, for wee are the richer for the disbursing. That liberalitie should haue no obiect but the poore, if our minds were rich. That the misterie of greatnesse is to keep the inferior ignorant of it. That all this is no newes to a better wit.

That the Citie cares not what the Country thinks.

Newes from the very Country.

THat it is a fripery of Courtiers, Merchants, and o­thers, which haue been in fashion, and are very neere worne out. That Iustices of peace haue the felling of vnderwoods, but the Lords haue the great falls. That Iesuits are like Apricocks, heretofore here and there one succour'd in a great mans house and cost deare, now you may haue them for nothing in euery cottage. That euery great vice is a Pike in a pond that deuoures vertues and lesse vices. That it is wholsomest getting a stomacke, by walking on your own ground: & the thriftiest laying of it at anothers table. That debtors are in London close pri­soners, and here haue the libertie of the house. That Atheists in affliction, like blind beggers, are forced to aske though they know not of whom. That there are (God be thanked) not two such acres in all the country, as the Ex­change and Westminster-hall. That only Christmas Lords know their ends. That w [...]omen are not so tender fruit, but that they doe as well and beare as well vpon beds, as plashed against walls. That our carts are neuer worse employed, than when they are wayted on by coa­ches. That sentences in Authors like haires in an horse­taile, concurre in one roote of beauty and strength, but being pluckt out one by one, serue onely for sprin­ges and snares. That both want and abundance e­qually aduance a rectified man from the world, as cot­ton and stones are both good casting for an hawke. That I am sure there is none of the forbidden fruit left, because we doe not all eat thereof. That our best three pilde mis­chiefe [Page] comes from beyond the sea, and rides post through the country, but his errand is to Court: That next to no wife and children, your owne wife and children are best pastime, anothers wife and your children worse, your wife and anothers children worst. That Statesmen hunt their fortunes, and are often at default: Fauorites course her and are euer in view. That intemperance is not so vnwholesome heere; for none euer saw Sparrow sicke of the pox. That here is no trechery nor fidelitie, but it is be­cause here are no secrets. That Court motions are vp and down, our [...] circular: theirs like squibs cannot stay at the highest, nor returne to the place which they rose from, but vanish & we are out in the way, Ours like mill-wheels busie without changing place; they haue peremptorie fortunes, we vicissitudes.

Answer to the very Country Newes.

IT is thought heere, that man is the coole of time, and made dresser of his owne fatting. That the fine Sences are Cinque ports for temptation, the trafficke sinne, the Lieutenant Sathan, the custome tribute, soules. That the Citizens of the high Court grow rich by simplicitie: but those of London by simple craft. That life, death and time, doe with short cudgels dance the Matachiue. That those which dwell vnder the Zona Torrida, are troubled with more damps, than those of Frigida. That Policie and Superstition hath of late hir masque rent from her face, and she is found with a wry mouth and a stinking breath, and those that courted her hotly, hate her now in the same [Page] degree, or beyond. That nature too much louing her owne, becomes vnnaturall and foolish. That the soule in some is like an egge, hatched by a young pullet, who of­ten rigging from her nest, makes hot and cold beget rot­tennesse, which her wanton youth will not beleeue, till the faire shell being broken, the stinke appeareth to profit others, but cannot her. That those are the wise ones, that hold the superficies of vertue, to support her contrary and all-sufficient. That clemencie within and without is the nurse of rebellion. That thought of the future is retired into the country, and time present dwels at Court. That I liuing neere the churchyard, where many are buried of the pest, yet my infection commeth from Spaine, and it is feared it will disperse further into the kingdome.

Newes to the Ʋniuersitie.

A Meere Scholler, is but a liue booke. Action doth expresse knowledge, better then words; so much of the soule is lost, as the body cannot vtter. To teach should rather be an effect, then the purpose of learning. Age decaies nature, perfects Arte: therefore the glory of youth, is strength of the gray head, wisdome; yet most condemne the follies of their owne infancie, runne after those of the worlds, and in reuerence of antiquitie will beare an old error against a new truth. Logick is the He­raldry of Arts, the array of iudgment; none it selfe, nor any science without it: where it and learning meet not, must bee either a skilfull ignorance, or a wilde knowledge. Vnderstanding cannot conclude out of moode and fi­gure. Discretion conteines Rhetorique; the next way [Page] to learne good words, is to learne sense; the newest Philosophie is soundest, the eldest Diuinitie: Astro­nomie begins in nature, ends in magicke. There is no honestie of the body without health, which no man hath had since Adam. Intemperance that was the first mother of sicknesse, is now the daughter. Nothing dies but qua­lities. No kinde in the world can perish without ruine of the whole. All parts helpe one another (like States) for particular interest. So in arts which are but translations of nature. There is no sound position in any one, which, imagine false, there may not from it bee drawne strong conclusions, to disproue all the rest. Where one truth is granted, it may be by direct meanes brought to confirme any other controverted. The soule and body of the first man, were made fit to be immortall together, we cannot liue to the one, but we must dye to the other. A man and a Christian are two creatures. Our perfection in this world is vertue, in the next knowledge, when wee shall read the glory of God in his owne face.

Newes from Sea.

THat the best pleasure is to haue no obiect of plea­sure, and vniformitie is a better prospect then varie­tie. That putting to Sea is change of life but not of condition: where risings and falls calmes and crossegales are yours in order and by turne, forewinds but by chance. That it is the worst winde to haue no winde, and that your smooth-fac'd Courtiers deading your course by a calme, giues greater impediment, then an open aduersa­ries crosse-gale. That leuitie is a vertue, for many are [Page] held vp by it That its nothing so intricate & infinite to rig a ship as a woman, and the more either is fraught, the ap­ter to leake. That to pumpe the one and shreeue the o­ther, is alike noysome. That small faults habituated are as dangerous as little leakes vnfound, and that to punish and not preuent, is to labour in the pumpe, and leaue the leake open. That it is best stricking saile before a storme, and necessariest in it. That a little time in our life is best, as the shortest cutt to our hauen is the happiest voyage. That to him that hath no Hauen no winde, is frendly, and yet it is better to haue no Hauen, then some kind of one. That expedition is euery where to bee bribed but at Sea. That gaine workes this miracle to make men walke vpon the water, and that the sound of commoditie drownes the noise of a storme, especially of an absent one. That I haue once in my life out gon night at Sea, but neuer darknesse: and that I shall neuer wonder to see a hard world, because I haue liued to see the Sunne a bankerout, being ready to starue for cold in his perpetuall presence. That a mans companions are (like ships) to be kept in distance, for fal­ling foule one of another, only with my friend I will close. That the fairest field for a running head is the Sea, where he may runne himselfe out of breath, and his humor out of him. That I could carry you much further, and yet leaue more before then behind, and all will be but via Nauis, without print or tracke, for so is morall instruction to youthes watrish humor. That though a ship vnder saile bee a good sight, yet it is a better to see her moor'd in the Hauen. That I care not what become of this fraile Barcke of my flesh, so I saue the passenger. And heere I cast anchor.

From France.

IT is deliuered from France that the choice of friends there is as of their wines, those that being new, are hard and harsh, proue best; the most pleasing are least lasting. That an enemie fierce at the first on set is as a torrent tumbling down a mountaine; a while it beares all before it, haue but that whiles patience you may passe it dry-foot. That a penetrating iudgment may enter into a mans minde by his bodies gate; if this appeare affe­cted, apish, and vnstable; a wonder if that bee setled. That vaine-glory, new fashions and the French disease are vpon termes of quitting their Countries allegance to bee made free Denisons of England. That the wounds of ancient enmities haue their scars which cannot bee so well closed to the sight but they will lye open to the me­morie. That a Princes pleasurable vices vshered by au­thoritie and waited on by conuinence, sooner punish themselues by the subiects imitation, then they can be re­formed by remonstrance or correction, so apt are ill ex­amples to rebound on them that giue them. That Kings heare truth oftener for the tellers then their owne aduan­tage.

From Spaine.

THat the shortest cutt to the riches of the Indies is by their contempt. That who is feared of most, feares most. That it more vexeth the proud that men despise them, then that they not feare them. That great­nesse is fruitfull enough, when other helpes faile, to beget on it selfe destruction. That it is a grosse flattering of ti­red crueltie to honest it with the title of clemencie. That to eat much at other mens cost and little at his own is the wholsomest and most nourishing dyet both in Court and country. That those are aptest to dominere ouer others who by suffering indignities haue learned to offer them. That ambition like a seeled Doue flies vp to fall downe, it mindes not whence it came but whither it will. That euen Gally-slaues setting light by their captiuitie, finde freedome in bondage. That to be slow in militarie busi­nesses is to bee so courteous as to giue the way to an ene­mie. That lightning and greatnes more feare then hurt.

From Rome.

THat the venereall (called veniall) sinne is to passe in the rank of Cardinall vertues, and that those should bee held henceforth his Holinesse beneficiall frends that sin vpon hope of pardon. That where vice is a state-commoditie, hee is an offender that often offends not. That Iewes and Curtezans there, are as beasts that men feed to feed on. That for an Englishman to abide at Rome is not so dangerous as report makes it, since it skills [Page] not where we liue so wee take heed how we liue. That greatnesse comes not downe by the way it went vp, there being often found a small distance between the highest and the lowest fortunes. That tackt authoritie is oft lesse at home then abroad regarded, while things that seeme, are (commonly) more a far off then neere hand feared.

From Ʋenice.

THat the most profitable bancke is the true vse of a mans selfe, while such as grow mouldy in idlenesse make their houses their toombes and dye before their death. That many dangerous spirits lye buried in their wants, which had they meanes to their minds would dare as much as those that with their better fortunes ouer-top them. That professed Curtezans if they be any way good, it is because they are openly bad. That frugalitie is the richest treasure of an Estate, where men feed for hunger, clothe for cold and modestie, & spend for honor, charitie, and safetie.

From Germanie.

THat the infectious vice of drunken goodfellowship is like to sticke by that Nation as long as the multi­tude of offendors benums the sense of offending, and that a common blot is held no stayne. That discretions must bee taken by weight not taile: who doth otherwise, shall both prooue his owne too light and fall short of his reckoning. That feare and a nice forecast of euery sleight danger seldom giues either faithfull or fruitfull counsell. [Page] That the Empire of Germanie is not more great then that ouer a mans selfe.

From the Low Countries.

THat one of the surest grounds of a mans libertie is, not to giue another power ouer it. That the most dangerous plunge wherto to put thine enemie is despera­tion▪ while forcing him to set light by his owne life, thou makest him master of thine. That neglected danger lights soonest and heauiest. That they are wisest who in the likelyhood of good, prouide for ill. That since pitty dwells at the next doore to miserie, he liueth most at ease that is neighboured with enuie. That the euill fortune of the wars as well as the good is variable.

Newes from my Lodging.

THat the best prospect is to looke inward. That it is quieter sleeping in a good conscience then a whole skin. That a soule in a fat bodie lies soft, and is loth to rise. That he must rise betimes who would cosen the de­uill. That Flatterie is increased from a pillow vnder the elbow, to a bed vnder the whole bodie. That Policie is the vnsleeping night of reason. That hee who sleepes in the cradle of securitie, sins soundly without starting. That guilt is the flea of the conscience. That no man is throughly awaked but by affliction. That a hang'd chamber in priuate is nothing so convenient as a hang'd Traitor in publique. That the religion of Papistry, is like a curtaine made to keep out the light. That the life of most [Page] women is walking in their sleepe, and they talke their dreames. That chambering is counted a ciuiler qualitie, then playing at tables in the Hall, though Seruingmen vse both. That the best bedfellow for all times in the yeere is a good bed without a fellow. That he who tum­bles in a calme bed, hath his tempest within. That hee who will rise, must first lye downe, and take humilitie in his way. That sleep is deaths picture drawne to life, or the twilight of life and death. That in sleep wee kindly shake death by the hand, but when wee are awaked wee will not know him. That often sleeping are so many try­alls to die, that at last we may doe it perfectly. That few dare write the true newes of their chamber, and that I haue none secret enough to tempt a strangers curiositie, or a seruants discouerie. God giue you good morrow.

Newes of my morning worke.

THat to bee good is the way to bee most alone or the best accompanied. That the way to heauen is mi­staken for the most melancholy walke. That most feare the worlds opinion more then Gods displeasure. That a Court friend seldom goes further then the first degree of charitie. That the deuill is the perfectest Courtier. That innocency was first cozen to man, now guiltinesse hath the neerest allyance. That sleep is deaths leger Embassa­dor. That time can neuer bee spent: wee passe by it and cannot returne. That none can be sure of more time then an instant. That sin makes worke for repentance or the deuill. That patience hath more power then afflictions. That euery ones memorie is diuided into two parts: the [Page] part loosing all is the sea, the keeping part is land. That honestie in the Court liues in persecution like Protestants in Spaine. That predestination and constancie are alike vncerteine to be iudged of. That reason makes loue the Seruingman. That vertues fauour is better then a Kings fauorite. That being sick begins a sute to God, being well possesseth it. That health is the coach which caries to heauen, sicknes the post-horse. That worldly delights to one in extreame sicknes is like a hiecandle to a blind man. That absence doth sharpen loue, presence strengthens it, that the one brings fuell, the other blowes till it burnes cleere, that loue often breaks friendship, that euer increa­seth loue. That constancie in women and loue in men is alike rare. That Arte is truths iugler. That falshood playes a larger part in the world then truth. That blinde zeale and lame knowledge are alike apt to ill. That for­tune is humblest where most contemned. That no porter but resolution keeps feare out of minds. That the face of goodnes without a body is the worst wickednesse. That weomens fortunes aspire but by others powers. That a man with a female wit is the worst Hermaphrodite. That a man not worthy being a frend, wrongs himself by being an acquaintance. That the worst part of ignorance is ma­king good and ill seem alike. That all this is newes onely to fooles.

Newes from the lower end of the Table.

IT is said among the folkes heere, that if a man dye in his in­fancie, he hath onely broke his fast in this world: If in his youth, hee hath left vs at dinner. That it is bed-time with a [Page] man at therescore and ten; and he that liues to a hundred yeeres hath walked a mile after supper. That the humble-minded man makes the lowest curtsie. That grace before meat is our election before we were; grace after, our saluation when we are gone. The soule that halts between two opinions, falls between two stooles. That a foole at the vpper end of the table is the bread before the salt. He that hates to be reproued sits in his owne light. Hunger is the cheapest sawce and nature the chea­pest guest. The sensible man and the silent woman are the best discoursers. Repentance without amendment is but the shifting of a foule trencher: He that tells a lye to saue his cre­dit, wipes his mouth with his sleeue to spare his napkin. The tongue of aiester is the fiddle that the bearts of the companie dance to. The tongue of a foole carues a peece of his heart to euery man sits next him. A silent man is a couered messe. The contented man onely is his owne caruer. Hee that hath many friends eats too much salt with his meat. That wit without discretion cuts other men meat and his own fingers. That the soule of a cholericke man sits euer by the fire side. That patience is the larde to the leane meat of aduersitie. The Epicure puts his money into his belly, and the miser his belly into his purse. That the best companie makes the vpper end of the table, and not the saltseller. The supersluitie of a mans possessions is the broken meat that should remaine to the poore. That the enuious keeps his knife in his hand and swal­lowes his meat whole. A rich foole among the wise is a gilt empty bowle among the thirstie. Ignorance is an insensible hunger. The water of life is the best wine. He that robs mee of my invention bids himselfe welcome to another mans table, and I will bid him welcome when he is gone. The vaine-glo­rious man pisseth more then hee drinkes. That no man can drinke a health out of the cup of blessing. To surfet vpon wit is more dangerous then to want it. He that's ouercome of any [Page] passion is dry drunke. Tis easier to fill the belly of faith, then the eye of reason. The rich glutton is better fed then taught. That faith is the elbow for a heauy soule to leane on. Hee that sins that he may repent, surfets that he may take physicke. He that riseth without thanksgiuing, goes away and payes not for his ordinarie. He that begins to repent when he is old, neuer washed his hands till night. That this life is but one day of three meales, or one meale of three courses, childhood, youth, and old age. That to sup well is to liue well, and that's the way to sleep well. That no man goes to bed till hee dyes, nor wakes till he is dead. And therfore

Nowes from the Bed.

THat the bed is the best rendevou of mankind, and the most necessarie ornament of a chamber. That Souldiers are good antiquaries in keeping the old fashion, for the first bed was the bare ground. That a mans pillow is his best counseller. That Adam lay in state when the heauen was his canopie. That the naked truth is Eue, and Eue lay without sheetes. That they were ei­ther very innocent, very ignorant, or very impudent, they were not ashamed the heauens should see them lye with­out a couerlet. That it is likely Eue studied Astronomie, which makes the posteritie of her sex euer since to lye on their backs. That the circumference of the bed is nothing so wide as the convex of the heauens, yet it containes a [Page] whole world. That the fiue sences are the greatest slee­pers. That a slothfull man is but a reasonable Dormouse. That the soule euer wakes to watch the body. That a Iealous man sleeps dog-sleep. That sleep makes no diffe­rence between a wise-man and a foole. That for all times sleep is the best bedfellow. That the deuill and mischiefe euer wake. That loue is a dreame. That the preposte­rous hopes of ambitious men are like pleasing dreames, farthest off when awake. That the bed payes Venus more custome then all the world beside. That if dreames and wishes had been all true, there had not been since Popery one maide to make a Nun of. That the secure man sleeps soundly and is hardly to be wak't. That the charitable man dreames of building Churches, but starts to thinke the vngodly Courtier will pull them down again. That great sleepers were neuer dangerous in a state. That there is a naturall reason why popish Priests chuse the bed to confesse their women vpon, for they hold it necessarie that humiliation should follow shrift. That if the bed should speake all it knowes, it would put many to the blush. That it is fit the bed should know more then paper.