No-body, and some-body· With the true chronicle historie of Elydure, who was fortunately three seuerall times crowned King of England. The true coppy thereof, as it hath beene acted by the Queens Maiesties Seruants.

No-body, and some-body· With the true chronicle historie of Elydure, who was fortunately three seuerall times crowned King of England. The true coppy thereof, as it hath beene acted by the Queens Maiesties Seruants.

Table of contents

Title page

The Prologue.

NO-BODY, AND SOME-BODY.

The Epilogue.

§

§

§

[Page]

[Page]

NO-BODY, AND SOME-BODY. With the true Chronicle Historie of Elydure, who was fortunately three seuerall times crowned King of England. The true Coppy thereof, as it hath beene acted by the Queens Maiesties Seruants.

[figure]

Printed for Iohn Trundle and are to be sold at his shop in Barbican, at the signe of No-body.

The Prologue.

[Page]

A subiect, of no subiect, we present, for No-body, is Nothing:

Who of nothing can something make?

[...]t is a worke beyond the power of wit,

And yet inuention is ripe:

A morrall meaning you must then expect, grounded on lesser then a shadowes shadow:

Promising nothing wher there wants a toong;

And deeds as few, be done by No-bodie:

Yet something, out of nothing, we will shew,

To gaine your loues, to whome our selues we owe.

NO-BODY, AND SOME-BODY.

[Page]

Enter Cornwell and Martianus.

Corn.

MY Lord Martianus.

Mar.

My Lord of Cornwell.

Corn.

Morrow.

Mar.

Morrow,

Corn.

You are sad my Lord.

Mar.

You melancholy.

Corne.

So,

The state it selfe mournes in a robe of Wo.

Mar,

For the decease of Archigalloes vertues,

I vnderstand you Noble minded Cornwell,

What generous spirit drawes this Brittish ayre,

But droops at Archigalloes gouernement.

corn.

And reason Martianus, when the Sunne

Struggles to be deliuered from the wombe

Of an obscure Eclipse, doth not the earth

Mourne to behold his shine envelloped,

O Corbonon when I did close thine eyes,

I gaue release to Britaines miseries.

Enter Elydure.

Mar.

Good morrow to Prince Elydure.

Elid.

The same to you, and you, you are sad my Lordes,

your harts I thinke are frosty, for your blood

Seemes crvsted in your faces, like the dew

In a September morne, how fares the king,

Haue you yet bid good morrow to his highnes.

Corn.

The kings not stirring yet.

Enter Vïgenius and Peridure.

Perid

Yonders old Cornwell, come Vïgenius,

Weele haue some sport with him:

[Page]Vig.

Brother content.

Perid.

Good morrow to you brother Elydure.

Cornwel,

God morrow to Cornwell.

Vig.

Morrow old gray-beard.

Corn.

My beards not so gray as your wits greene.

Vig.

And why so.

Perid.

We shall ha you come out now with some reason that was borne in my great grand sires time.

Corn.

Would you would proue as honest princes as your great graundsire was, or halfe so wise as your elder brother was, theres a Couple of you, Sfoote I am ashamed you should be of the blood royall.

Perid.

And why father vvinter.

Corn.

You doe not knovv your state, theres Elydure

Your elder brother next vnto the King,

He plies his booke, vvhen shall you see him trace

Lasciuious Archigallo through the streets,

And fight with common hacksters hand to hand,

To wrest from them their goods and dignityes.

Perid.

You are to saucy Cornwell.

Vig.

Bridle your spirit.

Elyd.

Your words are dangerous, good honest subiect

Old reuerent states-man, faithful seruitor,

Doe not traduce the King, hees vertuous

Or say he tread somewhat besides the line

Of vertuous gouernment, his regality

Brookes not taxation, kings greatest royalties

Are that their subiects must aplaud their deedes,

As well as beare them their prerogatiues.

Are murall interponents twixt the world,

And their proceedings.

Corn.

Well, well, I haue serued foure kings,

And none of all those foure but would haue ventured

Their safeties on old Cornwels constancy,

But thats all one, now I am cald a dotard,

Go to, though now my limbes be starke and stiffe,

When Cornwels dead Brittayne I know will want

[Page]So strong a prop, Alasse I needs must weepe,

And shed teares in abundance, when I thinke

How Archigallo wrongs his gouernment.

Vig.

Nay, now youle fall into your techy humor.

Enter Lord Sicophant.

Sicoph.

My Lords, Princes I should haue said, and after

Lords, I am the Vsher and Harbinger vnto the kings most

Excellent person and his Maiesty.

Vig.

Is fourth comming.

Sicoph.

Or comming fourth, hard by or at hand, will you Put your gestures of attendaunce on, to giue his Maiestie the Bon-ioure.

Enter Archigallo and two Lords. Morgan Malgo.

All.

Good morrow to our soueraigne Archigallo.

Arch.

Morrow.

Corn.

Why do you frowne vpon your seruants king,

We loue you, and you ought to fauor vs:

Will you to Counsel. Heeres petitions,

Complaints and controuersies twixt your subiects,

Appealing all to you.

Arch.

Lets see those papers. A controuersie betwixt the Lord Morgan and the Lord Malgo, concerning their Tytles to the Southerne Island. We know this cause and what their titles be. You claime it by inheritance.

Morg.

My liege I do.

Arch.

You by the marriage of Lord Morgans mother,

To whom it was left ioynture.

Malgo.

True gratious Soueraigne.

Arch.

Whose euidence is strongest, to which part

Inclines the censures of our learned Iudges.

Morgan.

We come not heer to plead before your grace,

But humblie to intreat your Maiestie,

Peruse our euidence and censure it,

According to your wisedome.

[Page]Arch.

What I determine then youle yeeld vnto.

Both.

We will my Soueraigne.

Arch.

Then that Southerne Ile

we take to our protection, and make you

Lord gouernor thereof.

Sicoph.

I humblie thanke your highnesse.

M [...]l.

I hope your Maiesty.

Arch.

Replie not, I but take it to my selfe

Because I would not haue dissention

betwixt two peeres, I loue to see you friends,

And now the Islands mine, your quarrell ends.

Whats next. A poore Nothern mans humble petition.

Which is the plaintiue?

Enter clowne, Wench, and Rafe.

Rafe.

I if it please your Maiestie I was betrothed to this maid.

Arch.

Is this true my Wench.

Wench.

Tis verie true and like your maiestie, but this tempting fellow after that, most felloniously stole my hart awaie fro me, caried it into the church, and I running after him to get my hart againe, was there married to this other man.

clown.

Tis verie true and like your maiesty, though Raphe were once looke for a propper man, yet when I came in place it appeared otherwise: if your highnesse note his leg and mine, there is ods, and for a foot, I dare compare, I haue a wast to, and though I say it, that shoulde not saye it there are faces in place of Gods making.

Arch.

Thou art a proper fellow, and this wench is thine by lawfull marriage.

clown.

Rafe you haue your answer, you may be gon, your onely way to saue charges, is to buy a halpenniwoorth of Hob-nailes for your shooes: Alasse you might haue looked into this before, go silly Rafe go, away, vanish.

Arch.

Is not this Lasse a pretty Neat browne Wrench?

Sicoph.

She is my liege, and mettell I dare warrant.

[Page]Arch.

Fellow, how long hast thou been married?

Clown.

I was as they say coupled the same day that my country man Raphe begunne the law: for to tell your Maiestie the truth, we are yet both virgins, it did neuer freese betwixt vs two in a bed I assure your grace.

Arch.

Didst neuer lie with thy wife?

Clown.

Neuer yet, but nowe your Maiestie hath ended the matter Ile be so bold as take possession.

Arch.

Harke my wench, wilt leaue these rusticke fellowes & stay with me?

Wench.

What will your highnes doe with me?

Arch.

Why Ile make thee a Lady.

Wench.

And shall I goe in fine clothes like a Lady.

Arch.

Thou shalt.

Wench.

Ile be a Lady then, thats flat, sweet heart farewell, I must be a Lady, so I must.

Clow.

How now, how now, but heare you Si [...].

Wench.

Away you Clowne, away.

Clown.

But will your highnes rob me of my spouse.

Arch.

What we will, we will, away with those slaues.

Clown.

Zounds, if euer I take you in Yorkshire for this.

Sicoph.

Away you slaues.

Corn.

My Lord, these generall wrongs will draw your highnesse into the common hatred of your subiects.

Arch.

Whats that to thee, old doting Lord forbeare.

Whats heere? complaints against one Nobody,

For ouermuch releeuing of the poore,

Helping distressed prisoners, entertayning

Extrauagants and vagabonds, what fellowes this?

Corn.

My liedge I know him, he's an honest subiect

That hates extortion, vsury, and such sinnes

As are too common in this Land of Brittaine.

Arch.

Ile haue none such as he within my kingdome,

Hee shall be banisht.

Sicoph.

Heare my aduise my liedge: I know a fellow

[Page]Thats opposite to Nobody in all thinges:

As he affects the poore, this other hates them,

Loues vsurie and extortion. Send him straight

Into the Country, and vpon my life,

Ere many monthes he will deuise some meanes

To make that Nobody bankrout, make him flie

His Country, and be neuer heard of more.

Arch.

VVhat doost thou call his name.

Sicoph.

His name is Sombody my liedge.

Arch.

Seeke out that Sombody, wele send him straight,

VVhat other matters stay to be decided

Determine you, and you, the rest may follow

To giue attendance.

Exeunt all but the Lords.

Manent Cornwell and Martianus.

Mart.

Alls nought already, yet these vnripe ills

Haue not their full growth, and their next degree

Must needes be worse then nought, and by what name

Doe you call that?

Cornw.

I know none bad enough:

Base, vild, notorious, vgly monstrous, slauish,

Intollerable, abhorred, damnable;

Tis worse then bad, Ile be no longer vassaile

To such a tirannous rule, nor accessarie

To the base sufferance of such out-rages.

Mart.

Youle not indure it, how can you remedie

A mayme so dangerous and incurable?

Corn.

There is a way; but walls haue eares and eyes,

Your eare my Lord, and counsell.

Mart.

I haue eares

Open to such discourse, and counsell apt:

And to the full recouery of these wounds

Made in the sicke state, most effectuall,

A word in priuate.

[Page] Enter Peridure and Vigenius.

Perid.

Come brother, I am tyrde with reuelling,

My last Caranta made me almost breathlesse,

Doth not the Kings last wench foote it with art?

Vige.

Oh rarely, rarely, and beyond opinion.

I like this state where all are Libertines

But by ambitions pleasure and large will:

See, see, two of our strict liu'd Counsellors

In secret conference; they cannot indure

This freedome.

Perid.

Nor the rule of Archigallo,

Because tis subiect to his libertie.

Are they not plotting now for some installement

And change of state: old gallants if you be

Twill cost your heads.

Vige.

Bodies and all for me.

List them, such strict reproouers should not liue,

Their austere censures on their kings to giue.

Corn.

He must be then deposd.

Perid.

Ey, are you there, that word sounds treason.

Vig.

Nay, but farther heare.

Mart.

The King deposd, how must it be effected,

What strengths and powers can sodenly be leuied,

VVho will assist this busines, to reduce

The state to better forme and gouernment?

Vig.

Ey mary, more of that.

Corn.

All Cornwells at my becke, Deuonshire our neighbour

Is one with vs, you in the North commaund.

The oppressed, wrongd, deiected and supprest,

Will flocke on all sides to this innovation:

The Clergie late despisd, the Nobles scornd,

The Commons trode on, and the Law contemnd,

Will lend a mutuall and combyned power

Vnto this happie change.

[Page]Peri.

Oh monstrous treason!

Mart.

My Lord, we are betraide, and ouer-heard

By the two princes.

Corn.

How, betraide.

Mart.

Our plots discouered.

Corn.

Ile helpe it all; doe you but sooth me vp,

Wele catch them in the trap they lay for vs.

Mart.

Ile doot.

Corn.

Now sir, the king deposd

Who shall succeede?

Mart.

Some would say Elidure.

Corn.

Tush, he's too milde to rule.

But there are two young princes, hopefull youths

And of rare expectation in the Land,

Oh would they daigne to beare this weightie charge

Betwixt them, and support the regall scepter

With ioynt assistance, all our hopes were full.

Vig.

A Scepter.

Perid.

And a Crowne.

Mart.

What if we made the motion? we haue wills

To effect it, we haue power to compasse it.

Vig.

And if I make refusall, heauen refuse me.

Perid.

These Counsellors are wise, and see in vs

More vertue then we in our selues discerne.

Would it were come to such election.

Corn.

My honord Lord, wele breake it to those princes,

Those hopefull youths, at our conuenient leasure.

Mart.

With all my hart.

Corn.

You that our footsteps watcht,

Shall in the depth of your owne wiles be catcht.

Exeunt.

Vig.

A King.

Perid.

And were a crowne, a crowne imperiall.

Vig.

And sit in state.

Perid.

Commaund.

Vig.

And be obeyed.

[Page]Perid.

Our Nobles kneeling.

Vig.

Seruants homaging, and crying Aue.

Perid.

Oh brother, shall we through nice folly

Despise the profferd bountie of these Lords?

Vig.

Not for the world, I long to sit in state,

To purse the bountie of our gracious fate.

Perid.

To entertaine forreine Embassadors.

Vig.

And haue our names ranckt in the course of kings.

Perid.

Shadow vs State with thy maiesticke wings.

Enter King, Cornwell, Martianus, and Elidure.

Vige.

Now sir, my brother Archigall deposde

Corn.

Deposd! did you heare that my Lord.

Vig.

For his licensious rule, and such abuses

As wele pretend gainst him in parliament.

Arch.

Oh monstrous brothers.

Elidu.

Oh ambitious youthes.

Vig.

Thus wele deuide the Land, all beyond Trent

And Humber, shall suffise one moitie:

The southpart of the Land shall make the tother,

Where we will keepe two Courts, and raigne deuided,

Yet as deere louing brothers.

Arch.

As vild traitors.

Perid.

Then Archigall, thou that hast sat in pompe

And seene me vassaile, shalt behold me crownd,

Whilst thou with humble knees vail [...]t to my state.

Arch.

And when must this be doone, when shall my crowne

Be parted and deuided into halfes.

You raigne on this side Humber, you beyond

The riuer Trent, when doe you take your states,

Sit crownd and scepterd to receiue our homage,

Our dutie, and our humble vassalage.

Perid.

I know not when.

[Page]Arch.

Nor you?

Vige.

Nor I.

Arch.

But I know when you shall repent your pride.

Nor will we vse delayes in our reuenge,

Ambitious boyes, we doome you prisonment,

Your Pallace royall shall a Iaile be made,

Your thrones a dungeon, and your scepters Irons,

In which wele bound your proude aspiring thoughts:

A way with them, we will not mount our chayre

Ti [...]l their best hopes be changd to blacke despaire.

Perid.

Heare vs excuse our selues.

Vige.

Or lets discouer

Who drew vs to this hope of soueraigntie.

Arch.

That shall our further leysures arbitrate,

Our eares are deafe to all excusiue pleas,

Come vnambitious brother Elidurus,

Helpe vs to lauish our abundant treasures,

In masks, sports, reuells, riots, and strange pleasures.

Exeunt:

Enter Sombody with two or three seruaunts.

Somb.

But is it true the fame of Nobody,

For vertue, almes-deedes, and for charitie,

Is so renownd and famous in the Country?

Seru.

Oh Lord sir ey, hes talkt of farre and neere,

Fills all the boundlesse country with aplause,

There liues not in all Britaine one so spoke of,

For pittie, good mind, and true charitie.

Somb.

Which Sombody shall alter ert be long.

Seru.

You may my Lord beeing in grace at Court,

And the high fauours of King Archigallo

Exile this petty fellow from the Land,

That so obscures the beautie of your deedes.

Sombod.

VVhat doth this Nobody?

Seru.

You shall heare my Lord,

[Page]Come twentie poore men to his gate at once,

Nobody giues them mony, meate and drinke,

If they be naked, clothes, then come poore souldiers,

Sick, maymd, and shot, from any forraine warres,

Nobody takes them in, prouides them harbor,

Maintaines their ruind fortunes at his charge,

He giues to orphants, and for widdowes buildes

Almes-houses, Spittles, and large Hospitals,

And when it comes in question, who is apt

For such good deedes, tis answerd Nobody.

Now Nobodie hath entertaind againe

Long banisht Hospitalitie, and at his boord

A hundred lustie yeomen daily waites,

Whose long backs bend with weightie chynes of biefe,

And choise of cheere, whose fragments at his gate

Suffice the generall poore of the whole shire.

Nobodies table's free for trauellers,

His buttry and his seller ope to all

That starue with drought, or thirst vpon the way,

Somb.

His fame is great, how should we helpe it?

Seru.

My Lord, tis past my reach, tis you must doe it,

Or't must be left vndone.

Somb.

What deedes of note is he els famous for?

Seru.

My Lord Ile tell you.

His Barnes are full, and when the Cormorants

And welthy Farmers hoord vp all the graine,

He empties all his Garners to the poore

Vnder the stretcht prise that the Market yeelds,

Nobody racks no rents, doth not oppresse

His tenants with extortions. When the King

Knighted the lustie gallants of the Land,

Nobody then made daintie to be knighted,

And indeede kept him in his knowne estate.

Somb.

The slaues ambitious▪ and his life I hate.

Seru.

How shall we bring his name in publick scandall?

[Page]Sombo.

Thus it shall be, vse my direction.

In Court and country I am Sombody,

And therefore apt and fit to be employed:

Goe thou in secrete beeing a subtile knaue.

And sowe seditious slaunders through the Land,

Oppresse the poore, suppresse the fatherlesse,

Deny the widdowes foode, the staru'd releefe,

And when the wretches shall complaine their wrongs,

Beeing cald in question, sweare twas Nobody,

Racke rents, raise prises,

Buy vp the best and choise commodities

At the best hand, then keepe them till their prises

Be lifted to their height, and double rate,

And when the raisers of this dearth are sought

Though Sombody doe this, protest and sweare

Twas Nobody fore Iudge and Magistrate:

Bring scandalls on the rich, raise mutinous lyes

Vpon the state, and rumors in the Court,

Backbite and sow dissention amongst freends,

Quarrels mongst neighbors, & debate mongst strangers,

Set man and wife at ods, kindred at strife,

And when it comes in question, to cleere vs,

Let euery one protest and sweare for one,

And so the blame will fall on Nobody.

About it then, if these things well succeede,

You shall preuaile, and we applaude your speede.

Enter Nobody and the Clowne.

See where he comes, I will withdraw and see,

The euent and fortunes of our last pollicie.

Nobod.

Come on myne owne seruaunt, some newes, some newes, what report haue I in the country? how am I talkt on in the Citty, and what fame beare I in the Court?

Clowne.

Oh Maister you are halfe hangd.

[Page]Nobod.

Hangd, why man?

Clowne.

Because you haue an ill name: a man had as good almost serue no Maister as serue you, I was carried afore the Constable but yesterday, and they tooke mee vp for a strauagant; they askt mee whom I serued, I told them Nobody, they presently drew mee to the post, and there gaue me the law of armes.

Nobody.

The law of armes.

Clow,

Ey, as much lawe as their armes were able to lay on, they tickled my Collifodium, I rid post for a quarter of an houre, with switch though not with spurre.

Nobod.

Sure Sombody was the cause of all.

Clow.

Ile be sworne of that, Sombody tickled me a heate, and that I felt, but Maister, why doe you goe thus out of fashion; you are euen a very hoddy doddy, all breech,

Nobod.

And no body. But if my breeches had as much cloth in them, as euer was drawne betwixt Kendall and Canning street, they were scarce great enough to hold all the wrongs that I must pocke [...]:

Fie, fie, how I am slaunderd through the world.

Nobody keepes tall fellowes at his heeles,

Yet if you meete a crew of rogues and beggars,

Aske who they serue, theile aunswere Nobody.

Your Caualiers and swaggerers bout the towne,

That dominere in Tauerns, sweare and stare,

Vrge them vpon some termes, theile turne their malice

To me, and say theile fight with Nobody,

Or if they fight, and Nobody by chaunce

Come in to part them, I am sure to pay for it,

And Nobody be hurt when they scape scotfree:

And not the dastardst coward in the world

But dares about with me. What shall I doe?

Somb.

Doe what thou wilt, before we end this strife,

Ile make thee tenne times weary of thy life.

Clown.

But doe you heare Maister, when I haue seru'd you a yere or two, who shall pay me my wages?

Nobo.

Why Nobody.

[Page]Clowne.

Indeede if I serue Nobody, Nobody must pay me my wages, therefore Ile euen seeke out Sombody or other, to get me a newe seruice; but the best is Maister if you runne away, you are easie to be found againe.

Nobod.

Why so sir?

Clowne.

Mary aske a deafe man whom hee heares, heele straight say Nobody, aske the blindest beetle that is whom hee sees, and heele aunswere, Nobodie, hee that neuer saw in his life can see you, though you were as little as a moate, and hee that neuer heard, can heare you, though you treade as softlie as a Mouse, therefore I shall be sure neuer to loose you. Besides, you haue one commoditie Maister, which none hath besides you, if you should loue the most fickle & inconstants wench that is in the world, sheele be true to Nobody, therefore constant to you.

Nobod.

And thou sayest true in that my honest seruaunt,

Besides, I am in great especiall grace

With the King Archigallo that now raignes

In tiranny, and strange misgouerment,

Nobody loues him, and he loues Nobody.

But that which most torments my troubled soule,

My name is made mere opposite to vertue,

For he is onely held peacefull and quiet,

That quarrels, brawles, and fights with Nobody,

He's honest held that lies with Nobodies wife,

And he that hurts and iniures Nobody,

All the world saies, ey thats a vertuous man.

And though a man haue doone a thousand mischiefes,

And come to proue the forfeit made to law,

If he can proue he hath wrong'd Nobody,

No man can touch his life. This makes me mad,

This makes me leaue the place where I was bred,

And thousand times a day to wish me dead.

Somb.

And Ile pursue thee where so ere thou fliest,

Nor shalt thou rest in England till thou diest.

[Page]Clowne.

Maister, I would wish you to leaue the Country, and see what good entertainement you wil haue in the Cittie, I do not think but there you will be most kindly respected, I haue been there in my youth, there's Hospitalitie, & you talke of Hospitalitie, and they talke of you bomination to see: for there Maister come to them as often as you will, foure times a day, and theyle make Nobody drinke, they loue to haue Nobody trouble them, and without good securitie they will lend Nobody mony. Come into Birchin Lane, theyle giue Nobody a sute, chuse where hee list; goe into Cheapeside, and Nobody may take vp as much plate as he can carrie.

Nobod.

Then Ile to London, for the Country tires me

With exclamations, and with open wrongs,

Sith in the Cittie they affect me so.

Clowne.

O Maister, there I am sure Nobody may haue anie thing without mony, Nobody may come out of the Tauerne without paying his reckoning at his pleasure.

Enter a man meeting his wife.

Nobody.

Thats better then the Country. Who comes heere?

Man

Minion, where haue you been all this night?

Wife

VVhy doe you aske husband?

Man

Because I would know wife.

Wife.

I haue beene with Nobody.

Nobod.

Tis a lie good man, beleeue her not, shee was not with mee.

Man

And who hath layne with you to night?

Wife

Lye with mee, why Nobody.

Nobod.

Oh monstrous, they would make me a whore-maister.

Man

Well, I doe not thinke but Sombody hath been with you.

Sombo.

Sombody was indeed.

Wife.

Gods life husband, you doe me wrong, I lay with Nobody.

Man.

Well minion, though Nobody beare the blame,

Vse it no more, least Sombody bide the shame.

Nobod.

I will endure no longer in this Clymate

[Page]It is so full of slaunders, Ile to the Cittie,

And there performe the deedes of charitie.

Enter the 2 man and a prentice.

2 Man.

Now you rascall, who haue you beene withall at the ale-house?

Prent.

Sooth I was with Nobody.

Nobod.

Not with me.

2 Man.

And who was drunke there with you?

Prent.

Sooth Nobody was drunke with me.

Nobod.

O intollerable! they would make me a drunkard to,

I cannot indure any longer, I must hence,

No patience with such scandals can dispence.

2 Man.

Well sirra, if I take you so againe, Ile so belabour you:

O neighbour good morrow.

1 Man.

Good morrow,

2 Man

You are sad me thinkes,

1 Man

Faith sir I haue cause, I haue lent a friend of mine a hundred pounde, and haue Nobodyes worde for the payment, bill, nor bond, nor any thing to shew.

2 Man.

Haue you Nobodies worde, Ile assure you that Nobodie is a good man, a good man I assure you neighbor, Nobodie will keepe his worde, Nobodies worde is as good as his bond.

1 Man

Ey, say you so, nay then lets drinke downe sorrow,

If none would lend, then Nobody should borrow.

Nobody

Yet there's one keepes a good tongue in his head,

That can giue Nobody a good report,

I am beholding to him for his praise:

But since my man so much commends the Cittie,

Ile thether, and to purchase me a name,

Take a large house of infinite receipt,

There keepe a table for all good spirits,

And all the chimneyes shall cast smoake at once:

There Ile giue schollers pensions, Poets gold,

Arts their deserts, Philosophy due praise,

[Page]Learning his merrit, and all worth his meede.

There Ile release poore prisoners from their dungeons.

Pay Creditors the debts of other men,

And get my selfe a name mongst Cittizens,

That after times pertakers of all blisse,

May thus record, Nobody did all this.

Country farewell, whose slaunderous tongues I slie,

The Cittie now shall lift my name on hie.

Sombody

Whether Ile follow thee with Swallowes wings,

And nimble expedition, there to raise

New brawles and rumors to eclipse thy praise.

Those subtile, slie insinuating fellowes

Whom Sombody hath sent into the country,

To rack, transport, extort, and to oppresse,

VVill I call home, and all their wits employ

Against this publique Benefactor, knowne

Honest, for all the rumors by vs sowne.

But howsoeuer, I am sworne his foe,

And opposite to all his meriting deedes,

This way must doe, though my deuining thoughts

This augurie amidsts their changes haue,

That Sombody will at length be proou'd a knaue.

Exeunt.

Enter Queene, Sicophant, and Lady Elidure seuerallie.

Sicoph.

Good day to you both faire Ladies,

But fairest of them both my gratious Queene,

Good day to your high Maiestie, and madam

The royall Lady of great Elidure,

My Soueraignes brother, vnto you I wish

This morning prooue as gracious and as good.

Queene

Those greetings from the Lady Elidure

VVould pleasingly sound in our princely eares.

Lady

Such greetings from great Archigalloes queene

[Page]VVould be most gratious to our princely eare.

Queene.

What no good morrow and our grace so neere.

Reach me my gloue.

Lady.

VVhom speakes this woman to?

Queene.

Why to my subiect, to my waiting maid,

Am not I mightie Archigalloes queene?

Is not my Lord the royall English King,

Thy husband and thy selfe my seruitors?

Lady

Is my Coach ready, where are all my men

That should attend vpon our awfull frowne,

VVhat not one neere?

Queen.

Minion, my gloue.

Sicoph.

Madam, her highnes gloue.

Lady.

My scarfe is falne, one of you reach it vp.

Queene.

You heare me.

Lady

Painted Maiestie be gone,

I am not to be countercheckt by any.

Quee.

Shall I beare this?

Sicoph.

Be patient, I will schoole her.

Your excellence greatly forgets your selfe

To be so dutilesse vnto the Queene,

I haue seene the world, I know what tis to obey,

And to commaund. What if it please the Queene

That you her subiect should attend on her,

And take her gloue vp, is it meete that I

Should stoope for yours? You're proud, fie, fie, you're proud.

This must not be twixt such two royall sisters

As you by marriage are; goe to submit,

Her Maiestie is easie to forgiue.

Lady.

Sawcie Lord forbeare, there's for your exhortation.

Queene.

I cannot beare this, tis insufferable,

Ile to the King, and if he saue thy life

He shall haue mine: madnes and wrath attend,

My thoughts are leueld at a bloody end.

Exit.

Lady.

Shee's shadow,

[Page]We the true substance are: follow her those

That to our greatnesse dare themselues oppose.

Enter Cornwell, Martianus, Morgan and Malgo.

Cornw.

Helth to your Ladiship, I would say Queene

If I might haue my minde, bir lady Ladie.

Mart.

I had a sute vnto the King with this Lord

For the great office of high Seneshall,

Because of our good seruice to the state,

But he in scorne, as he doth euery thing,

Hath tane it from vs both, and gin't a foole.

Morg.

To a Sicophant, a courtly parasite.

Sicoph.

Beare witnes Madam, Ile goe tell the King

That they speake treason.

Malgo.

Passe vpon our swords,

You old exchecker of all flatterie,

I tell thee Archigallo shall be deposd,

And thou disroab'd of all thy dignitie.

Sicoph.

I hope not so.

Cornw.

See heere the Counsels hands,

Subscrib'd to Archigallos ouerthrow.

The names of sixteene royall English Peeres,

Ioynd in a league that is inviolate,

And nothing wants but Elidurus grant

To accept the kingdome when the deede is done.

Sicoph.

Nay then Ile take your parts, and ioyne with you▪

Mart.

We will not haue a Clawbacks hand comixt

With such heroick peeres.

Sicoph.

I hope my Lady

Is not of their minds. My most gratious Queene,

What I did speake in reprehensiue sort,

Was more because her Maiestie was present

Then any offence of yours, and so esteeme it,

God knowes I loue your highnes, and these Lords.

[Page]Lady

VVhich of you will perswade my Elidure

To take vpon him Englands royaltie.

Mart.

Madam, we all haue so importund him,

Laying vnto his iudgement euery thing

That might attract his sences to the crowne,

But he frost braind will not be obtaind

To take vpon him this Realmes gouernment.

Malg.

Hee is the verie soule of lenitie,

If euer moderation liu'd in any,

Your Lord with that rich vertue is possest.

Lady

This mildnes in him makes me so despisd

By the proude Queene, and by her fauourits.

Enter Elidure.

Cornw.

See maddam where he comes reading a booke.

Lady

My Lord and husband, with your leaue this booke

Is fitter for an Vniuersitie

Then to be lookt on, and the Crowne so neere:

You know these Lords for tyrannie haue sworne

To banish Archigallo from the throne,

And to invest you in the royaltie:

VVill you not thanke them, and with bounteous hands

Sprinckle their greatnes with the names of Earles,

Dukes, Marquesses, and other higher termes.

Elid.

My deerest loue, the essence of my soule,

And you my honord Lords, the sute you make,

Though it be iust for many wrongs imposd,

Yet vnto me it seemes an iniurie.

VVhat is my greatnes by my brothers fall,

But like a starued body nourished

With the destruction of the other lymbes.

Innumerable are the griefes that waite

On horded treasures, then much more on Crownes:

The middle path, the golden meane for me,

Leaue me obedience, take you Maiestie.

[Page]Lady.

Why this is worser to my lofty minde,

Then the late checks giuen by the angry Queene.

Corn.

If you refuse it, knowe we are determined

To lay it else where.

Lady.

On your younger brother,

And then no doubt we shall be awde indeed,

When the ambition of the elders wife,

Can scarsly giue our patience any bounds:

England is sicke of pride and tirrany,

And in thy goodnes only to be curde.

Thou art cald foorth amongst a thousand men,

To minister this soueraigne Ancidote,

To amend thy brothers crueltie with loue,

And if thou wilt not from oppression free

Thy natiue Country, thou art vilde as he.

Elid.

I had rather stay his leasure to amend.

Lady.

Men, heauen, gods, deuills, what power should I invoke,

To fashion him a new: thunder come downe,

Crowne me with ruine, since not with a Crowne.

Cornw.

Long life vnto the Kingly Elidure,

Trumpets proclaime it whether he will or no.

Lady.

For that conceit Lords, you haue wonne my hart,

In his despight let him be straight waies Crownd,

That I may triumphe whilst the trumpets sound.

Elid.

Carry me to my graue, not to a Throne.

Lady.

Helpe Lords to seate him, nay helpe euery one:

So should the Maiestie of England sit,

Whilst we in like state doe associate him.

Elid.

Neuer did any lesse desire to raigne

Then I, heauen knowes this greatnes is my paine.

Lady.

Paine me in this sort great Lords euery day,

Tis sweete to rule.

Elid.

Tis sweeter to obay.

Cornw.

Liue King of England long and happily,

As long and happily your Highnes liue.

[Page]Lady.

We thanke you Lords, now call in the deposd,

Him and his proud Queene, bring vnto our sight,

That in her wrongs we may haue our delight.

Enter Archigallo, and his Queene bound.

Archi.

Betrayd, tane prisoner, and by those that owe

To me their duty, and allegiance:

My brother the vsurper of the Crowne,

Oh this is monstrous, most insufferable.

Elid.

Good brother grieue not, tis against my will,

That I am made a King, pray take my place,

I had rather be your subiect then your Lord.

Lady.

So had not I, sit still my gracious Lord,

Whilst I looke through this Tyrant with a frowne,

Minion reach vp my gloue.

Queene.

Thinkst thou because

Thy husband can dissemble piety,

And therein hath deposd my royall Lord,

That I am lesser in estate then Queene?

No thine owne answere lately giuen to me,

I thus reuet, stoope thou proud Queene for me.

Sicoph.

Nay, then as I did lately to her Highnes,

I must admonish you, diected Lady

You doe forget your selfe, and where you are,

Duty is debt, and it is fit since now

You are a subiect, to beare humble thoughts:

Follow my counsell Lady and submit,

Her Maiestie no doubt will pardon it.

Queene.

Theres for your paines.

Sicoph.

Which way so ere I goe,

I haue it heere, whether it ebbe or flowe.

Lady.

That pride of thine shall be thy ouerthrowe.

And thus I sentence them.

Elid.

Leaue that to me?

Lady.

No you are too mild, iudgment belongs to me:

[Page]Thou Archigallo for thy tirranie,

For euer be excluded from all rule,

And from thy life.

Elid.

Not from his life I pray.

Lady.

He vnto whom the greatest wrongs are done,

Dispatch him quickly.

Morg.

That will I.

Maglo.

Or I.

Elid.

And therein Lords effect my tragedie.

Lady.

Why strike you not, oh tis a dangerous thing,

To haue a liuing subiect of a King:

Much treason may be wrought, when in his death,

Our safty is secur'd.

Elid.

Banish him rather, oh sweete spare his life,

He is my brother.

Archi.

Crownd, and pray thy wife.

Elid.

Oh brother, if you roughly speake, I knowe

There is no hope but your sure ouerthrowe,

Pray be not angry with me for my loue:

To banishment since it must needes be so,

His life I giue him whosoere saies no.

Lady.

What and his Ladies to.

Elid.

I hers and all.

Lady.

But Ile not haue you banisht with the King,

No Minion no, since you must liue, be assur'd

Ile make thee meanest of my waiting Maides.

Queene.

I scorne thy pride.

Archi.

Farewell deceiuing state,

Pride making Crowne, my deerest wife farewell:

I have beene a Tyrant, and Ile be so still.

Exit.

Elid.

Alas my brother.

Lady.

Dry vp childish teares,

And to these Lords that haue inuested you,

Giue gracious lookes, and honorable deedes.

Elid.

Giue them my Crowne, oh giue them all I haue,

[Page]Thy Throne I reckon but a glorious graue.

Lady.

Then from my selfe these dignities receiue,

The Iland wrested from you I restore,

See it be giuen them backe Lord Sicophant.

The office of hie Seneschall bereft you,

My Lord of Cornwell to your grace we giue.

You Martianus be our Treasurer,

And if we find you faithfull, be assur'd

You shall not want preferment at our hands.

Meane time this office we impose on you,

Be Tutor to this Lady, and her pride

With your learnd principles whereof you are full

Turne to humility, or vex her soule,

Queene.

Torment on torment, tutord by a foole.

Sicoph.

Madam, it is her Highnes will be pleas'd.

Lady.

Young Peridurus and Vigenius, Lords

Release from prison, and because your King,

Is mightely affected vnto Yorke,

Thether dismisse the Court incontinent.

Sicoph.

Shall it be so my Liedge.

Lady.

Are not we King.

His silence saies it, and what we ordaine,

Who dares make question of: this day for euer

Thorough our raigne beheld a festiuall:

And tryumphe Lords that England is set free,

From a vild tyrant and his crueltie:

Elid.

On to our funerall, tis no matter where,

I sinne I knowe in suffering pride so neere.

Exeunt.

Enter Nobody, and the Clowne.

Nobody.

Ahem boy, Nobody is sound yet for all his troubles.

Clow.

And so is Nobodies man for all his whipping, but Maister we are nowe in the Citty, wald about from slaunder, there cannot a lie come in but it must runne thorough bricke, or get the goodwill of the warders, whose browne bills looke blew vppon [Page] all passengers.

Nobody.

O this Citty, if Nobody liue to be as old againe, be it spoken in secret, Ile haue fenst about with a wall of brasse.

Clowne.

Of Nobodies making, that will be rare.

Nobody.

Ile bring the Tems through the middle of it, empty Moore-ditch at my owne charge, and build vp Paules-steple without a collection. I see not what becomes of these collctions.

Clowne.

Why Nobody receaues them.

Nobody.

I knaue?

Clowne.

You knaue: or as the world goes, Somebody receiues all, and Nobody is blamd for it.

Nobody.

But is it rumord so thorough out the Citty.

Clowne.

Doe not you knowe that? theres not an orphants portion lost out of the Chamber, but Nobody has got it, no Corne transported without warrant, but Nobody has donne it, no goods stolne but by Nobody, no extortion without Nobody: and but that truth will come to light, fewe wenches got with child, but with Nobody.

Nobody.

Nay thats by Somebody.

Clowne.

I thinke Somebody had a hand in't, but Nobody sometimes paies for the nursing of it.

Nobody.

Indeede I haue taken into my charge many a poore infant left to the almes of the wideworld, I haue helpt many a vertuous maide to a good husband, & nere desird her maiden-head: redeemed many Gentlemens lands, that haue thankt Nobody for it, built Pest-houses, and other places of retirement in the sicknes time for the good of the Cittie, and yet Nobody cannot get a good word for his labor.

Clowne.

Tis a mad world Maister.

Nobody.

Yet this mad world shall not make me mad, I am

All spirit, Nobody let them grieue,

That scrape for wealth I will the poore relieue,

Where are the Maisters of the seuerall prisons:

Within and neere adioyning to the Citty,

That I may spred my charity abroad.

Clowne.

Heere they be Sir.

[Page] Enter three or foure.

Nobody.

Welcome Gentlemen:

You are they that make poore men housholders

Against their wills, and yet doe them no wrong:

You haue the actions, and the cases of your sides,

Whilst your Tenants in comon, want money to fill them.

How many Gentlemen of lesse reuenewes then Nobody,

Lie in your Knights ward, for want of maintenance.

1

I am Sir a Keeper of the Counter, and there are in our wards aboue a hundred poore prisoners, that are like nere to come foorth without satisfaction.

Nobody.

But Nobody will be their benefactor. What in yours.

2

As many as in the other prison.

Nobody.

Theres to release them. What in yours.

3

Double the number, and in the Gayle.

Nobody.

Talke not of the Gayle, tis full of limetwigs, lifts, and pickpockets.

1

Is it your pleasure Sir to free them all.

Nobody.

All that he in for debt.

2

Ten thousand pound, and ten to that will not doe it.

Nobody.

Nobody Sir will giue a hundred thousand,

Ten hundred thousand, Nobody will not haue a prisoner,

Because they all shall pray for Nobody.

Clowne.

Tis great pitty my Maister has Nobody, and so kind a hart.

A noise within. Follow, follow, follow.

Nobody.

What outcries that?

Enter Somebody, with two or three.

Somebody.

That is the gallant, apprehend him straight,

Tis he that sowes sedition in the Land,

Vnder the couler of being charitable,

When search is made for such in euery Inne,

Though I haue seene them housd, the Chamberlaine

[Page]For gold will answere there is Nobody:

He [...]or all bankrouts is a common bail [...],

And when the execution should be serud

Vpon the sureties, they find Nobody:

In priuate houses who so apt to lie,

As those that haue beene taught by Nobody,

Seruants forgetfull of their Maisters friends,

Being askt how many were to speake with him

Whilst he was absent, they say Nobody,

Nobody breakes more glasses in a house,

Then all his wealth hath power to satisfie:

If you will free this Citty then from shame,

Sease Nobody, and let him beare the blame.

Const.

Lay hold vpon him.

Nobody.

What on Nobody, giue me my sword, my morglay,

My friends, you that doe know how innocent I am,

Draw in my quarrell, succor Nobody,

What Nobody, but Nobody remaining.

Clowne.

Yes Maister, I Nobodies man.

Nobody.

Stand to me nobly then, and feare them not,

Thy Maister Nobody, can take no wounds,

Nobody is no coward, Nobody

Dares fight withall the world.

Somb.

Vpon them then.

A fight betwixt Somebody and Nobody, Nobody escapes.

What has he scapt vs.

Const.

He is gone my Lord.

Somb.

It shall be thus, now you haue seene his shape,

Let him be straight imprinted to the life:

His picture shall be set on euery stall,

And proclamation made, that he that takes him,

Shall haue a hundred pounds of Sombody,

Country and Citty, I shall thus set free,

[Page]And haue more roome to worke my villanie.

Exeunt.

Nobody.

What are they gonne, then Citty now adew,

Since I haue taken such great iniury,

For my good life within thy gouernment:

No more will Nobody be charitable,

No mote will Nobody relieue the poore,

Honor your Lord, and Maister Somebody,

For Somebody is he that wrongs you all.

Ile to the Court the changing of the ayre,

May peraduenture change my iniuries,

And if I speede no better being there,

Yet say that Nobody liu'd euery where.

Exit.

Enter Archigallo.

Archi.

I was a King, but now I am slaue,

How happie were I in this base estate,

If I had neuer tasted royaltie:

But the remembrance that I was a King,

Vnseasons the Content of pouertie,

I heare the hunters musicke, heere Ile lie,

To keepe me out of sight till they passe by.

Enter Morgan, and Malgo.

Morgan.

The stag is hearded, come my Lord

Shall we to horse and single him againe.

Malgo.

Content, the King will chase, the day is spent

And we haue kild no game, to horse, away.

Exeunt.

Enter Elidu [...]e.

Elid.

Hearded, goe single him, or couple straight,

He will not fall to day, what fellowes this.

Archi.

I am a man.

Elid.

A banisht man I thinke,

My brother Archigallo, ist not so.

Archi.

Tis so, I am thy brother Elidure,

[Page]All that thou hast is mine, the Crowne is mine,

Thy royaltie is mine; these hunting pleasures

Thou doost vsurpe: ambitious Elidure

I was a King.

Elidu.

And I may be a wretch: poore Archigallo,

The sight of thee that wert my Soueraigne,

In this estate, drawes riuers from mine eyes.

VVill you be king againe? if they agree

Ile redeliuer all my royaltie,

Saue what a second brother and a subiect

Keepes in an humble bosome, for I sweare

The Crowne is yours that Elidure doth weare.

Arch.

Then giue it me; vse not the common sleights,

To pittie one, and keepe away his right.

Seest thou these ragges, doe they become my person?

O Elidure, take pittie on my state,

Let me not still liue thus infortunate.

Elidu.

Alas, if pittie could procure your good,

Insteed of water, Ide weepe teares of blood

To expresse both loue and pittie: say deere brother

I should vncrowne my selfe, the angry Peeres

VVill neuer let me reach the imperiall wreathe

To Archigalloes head. There's ancient Cornwell,

Stout Martianus, Morgan, and bold Malgo,

From whom you tooke the pleasant Southerne Ile,

VVill neuer kneele to you: what should I say,

Your tirannie was cause of your decay.

Arch.

What shall I die then? welcome be that fate

Rather then still liue in this wretched state.

Enter Cornwell, Martianus, Morgan and Malgo.

Corn.

Yonders the King; my soueraigne you haue lost

The fall of a braue stagge, he's dead my liedge.

VVhat fellowes this?

[Page]Elidu.

Knowest him not Cornwell?

Corn.

No my liedge not I.

Arch.

I am thy King.

Elid.

Tis Archigallo man.

Corn.

Thou art no king of mine, thou art a traytor,

Thy life is forfeit by thy stay in Brittaine.

VVert thou not banisht?

Elidu.

Noble Cornwell speake

More gently, or my piteous hart will breake,

Lord Martianus, Morgan, and the rest,

I am a wearie of my gouernment,

And willinglie resigne it to my brother.

Mart.

Your brother was a tyrant, and my knee

Shall neuer bow to wrong and tirannie.

Elid.

Yet looke vpon his misery, his teares

Argue repentance; thinke not honourd Lords

The feare of dangers waiting on my Crowne

Makes me so willing to resigne the same,

For I am lou'd I know, but iustice bids

I make a resignation, tis his right,

My calls but vsurpation.

Corn.

Elidure,

If you are wearie of your gouernment,

Wele set the Crowne vpon a strangers head

Rather then Archigallo. Harke ye Lords,

Shall we make him our King we did depose,

So might our heads be chopt of, Ile loose mine

Ere my poore Country shall endure such wrongs,

As that iniurious tyrant plagues her with,

Mor.

Keepe still your Crowne my Liedge, happy is Brittaine

Vnder the gouernment of Elidure.

Arch.

Let it be so,

Death is the happy period of all woe.

The wretch thats torne vpon the torturing wrack,

Feeles not more de [...]sh torment then my hart.

[Page]When I but call to minde my tirannie,

I record heauen my Lords, my brothers fight,

The pittie that he takes of my distresse,

Your loue and true allegiance vnto him,

Hath wrought in me a reconciled spirit,

I doe confesse my sinne, and freely say,

I did deserue to be deposd.

Elidu.

Alas good Prince, my honorable Lords,

Be not flint-harted, pitty Archigallo,

I know his penitentiall words proceede

From a remorcefull spirit, Ile ingage

My life vpon his righteous gouernment.

Good Cornwell, gentle Martianus, speake,

Shall Archigallo be your king againe?

Arch.

By heauen I not desire it.

Elidu.

See my Lords,

Hee's not ambitious, as thou lou'st me Cornwell,

As thou didst loue our Father, let his sonne

Be righted, giue him backe the gouernment

You tooke from him.

Corn.

VVhat should I say? faith I shall fall a weeping:

Therefore speake you.

Elid.

Lord Martianus speake.

Mart.

What say these Lords that haue been wrongd by him.

Elidu.

Morgan and Malgo, all I haue in Brittaine

Shall be ingag'd to you, that Archigallo

Will neuer more oppresse you, nor impose

Wrong on the meanest subiect in the Land.

Morg.

Then weele embrace his gouernment.

Elidu.

Saies Malgo so?

Malg.

I doe my Lord.

Elidu.

What saies Martianus?

Mart.

Faith as my Lord of Cornwell.

Corn.

I say that I am sorry he was bad.

And now am glad hee's chang'd; his wickednes

[Page]We punisht, and his goodnes there's great reason

Should be rewarded; therefore Lords set on

To Yorke then, to his Coronation.

Elidu.

Then happie Elidurus, happie day

That takes from me a kingdomes cares away.

Arch.

And happie Archigallo that haue rangd

From sin, to sin, and now at last am changd.

My Lords and friends, the wrongs that you haue seene

In me, my future vertues shall redeeme.

Come gentle brother, pittie that should rest

In women most, is harbor'd in thy brest.

Exeunt.

Enter Queene, Lady Elidure, and Flatterer.

Lady

Come haue you done your taske, now doe you see

What tis to be so proude of Maiestie,

We must take vp your gloue, and not be thought

Worthy the name of Sister, thus you minx

Ile teach you ply your worke, and thanke me to,

This paines will be your owne another day.

Queene.

Insulting, ouer-proude, ambitious woman▪

Queene I disdaine to call thee, thou doost wrong

Thy brothers wife, indeede thy Kings espousd,

And manger all thy tyrannie I sweare,

Rather then still liue thus, Ile perrish heere.

Sicoph.

You are not wise, deiected as you are

To bandie braues against her Maiestie,

You must consider you are now her subiect,

Your tongue is bounded by the awe of dutie,

Fie, fie, I needes must chide you, since I see

You are so sawcie with her soueraigntie.

Queene.

Time was base spaniell thou didst fawne as much

On me, as now thou striuest to flatter her:

O God, that one borne noble should be so base,

His generous blood to scandall all his race.

Lady

My Lord, if she continue these proude termes,

[Page]I giue you libertie to punish her.

Ile not maintaine my prisoner and my slaue

To raile gainst any one that honours me.

Enter Morgan and Malgo.

Morg.

Health to the Queene, and happines to her

That must change states with you, and once more raigne

Queene of this Land.

Queene

Speake that againe, ô I will blesse my fate,

If once more I supply my former state.

Malgo.

Long may your highnes liue, your banisht Lord

Is by his brother Elidurus seated

Once more in Britaines throne.

Lady

O I could teare my haire, base Elidure

To wrong himselfe, and make a slaue of me.

Queene

Now minion, Ile cry quittance with your pride,

And make you stoope at our imperiall side▪

But tell me Morgan by what accident

You met with my beloued Archigallo?

Morg.

Euen in the woods where we did hunt the stagge,

There did the tender harted Elidure

Meete his distressed Brother, and so wrought

By his importunate speech with all his Peeres,

That after much deniall, yet at last

They yeelded their allegiance to your Lord,

Whom now we must acknowledge our dread King,

And you our princelie Queene.

Lady

Thou Screchowle, Rauen, vglie throated slaue▪

Theres for thy newes.

Queene

Restraine her good my Lord.

Sicoph.

Fie madam fie, fore God you are too blame

In presence of my soueraigne ladie Queene

To be thus rude, it would become you better

To shew more dutie to her Maiestie.

Lady.

O monstrous, was not I thy Queene but now.

[Page]Sicoph.

Yes, when your husband was my King you were.

But now the streame is turnd, and the States currant,

Runnes all to Archigallo, blame not mee,

Wisedome nere lou'd declined Maiestie.

Enter Archigallo crownd, Elidure, Peridure, Vigenius, Cornwell, Martianus, and others.

Queene.

VVelcome from banishment my louing Lord,

Your kinglie presence wraps my soule to heauen.

Arch.

To heauen, and my kind brother Elidure,

Faire Queene we owe chiefe thanks for this our greatnes,

Next them, these honourable Lords.

Corn.

Great Queene,

Once more the tribute of our bended knees

We pay to you, and humbly kisse your hand.

Mart.

So doth Martianus.

Perid.

And I.

Vige.

And I.

Queene.

Our brothers, by how much that name exceedes

The name of Lord, so much the more this dutie

Deserues requitall, thanks both, and thanks to all.

Arch.

Set on there.

Exeunt all but Lady & Sicophant

Sicoph.

Madam, you are not wise to grieue at that

Heauen hath decreed, and the state yeelded to,

No doubt her Maiestie will vse you well.

Lady

VVell saiest thou: no I looke that she should treble

All the disgraces I haue layd on her.

I shall turne Laundresse now, and learne to starch,

And set and poke, and pocket vp such basenes

As neuer princesse did: did you obserue

What lookes I cast at Elidure my husband?

Sicoph.

Your lookes declard the passion of your hart,

They were all fire.

[Page]Lady.

Would they had burnt his eyes out

That hath eclipsd our state and Maiestie.

Enter Queene, Morgan, and Malgo.

Queene.

Bring hether the proude wife of Elidure,

Sicop.

It shall be done.

Queene

Our shoe string is vntied, stoope minion, stoope.

Lady

Ile rather stoope to death thou moone-like Queene,

New changd, and yet so proude: theres those are made

For flexure, let them stoope, thus much Ile doe,

You are my Queene, tis but a debt I owe.

Queene

Bring me the worke there, I will taske you to,

That by the howre spin it, I charge you doe.

Lady

A distaffe and a spindle, so indeed

I told you this, Diana be my speede.

Morg.

Yet for his Princelie worth that made you Queene

Respect her as the wife of Elidure.

Enter Cornwell.

Cornw.

VVheres the Queene?

Queene

What newes with Cornwell, why so sad my Lord?

Corn.

Your husband on the suddaine is falne sicke.

Queene.

How; sicke.

Lady

Now if it be thy will, sweet blessed heauen

Take him to mercie.

Quee.

Doe not heare her prayers heauen I beseech thee.

Enter Martianus.

Mart.

Madam, his highnes.

Queen.

Is he aliue, or dead.

Mart.

Dead madam.

Queene

O my hart.

Corn.

Looke to the Queene, let vs not loose her to,

She breathes, stand of, where be those wemen there,

Good Queene that shall be, lends a helping hand,

[Page]Helpe to vnlace her.

Lady.

Ile see her burst first.

Queene

Now as you loue me let no helping hand

Preserue life in me, I had rather die

Then loose the title of my soueraigntie.

Lady

Take backe your Distaffe yet, wele stay our rage,

We will forbeare our spleene for charitie

And loue vnto the dead, till you haue hearsd

Your husbands bones, conduct her Lords away,

Our pride though eager, yet for foode shall stay.

Sicoph.

Wilt please your high imperiall Maiestie

Commaund my seruice, I am humbly yours.

Lady

We doe commaund what we well know youle doe,

Follow the stronger part, and cleaue thereto.

Exeunt.

Enter Elidure crownd, all the Lords and Ladies attendants.

Elidu.

Once more our royall temples are ingirt

VVith Brittaines golden wreath, all seeing heauen

Witnes I not desire this soueraigntie,

But since this kingdoms good, and your Decrees,

Haue laid this heauen loade of common care

On Elidure, we shall discharge the same

To your content, I hope, and this Lands fame:

Our brother once interd, we will not stay,

But then to Troynovant weele speede, away.

Exeunt.

Enter two Porters.

1 Porter

Come fellow Porter, now the Court is heere

Our gaines will flie vpon vs like a tide,

Let vs make vse of time, and whilst theres plentie

Stirring in Court, still labour to increase

The wealth which by our office we haue got.

2 Porter.

Out of our large alowance we must saue

Of thousands that passe by vs, and our office,

[Page]we will giue entertainment to No-body.

Enter No-body.

No-body.

My name is No-body,

1. Port.

You are welcome sir, ere you peruse the court,

Tast the kings beere, heere at the Porters lodge,

A dish of beere for maister No-body.

Nobody.

I thanke you sir.

2. Port.

Heere maister No-body, withall my hart,

A full Carouse, and welcome to our Office.

Nobo.

I thanke you sir, and were your beere tems water,

Yet No-body would pledge you, to you sir.

1. Port.

You are a stranger here, how in the Citty,

Haue you bin long in towne.

Nobo.

I sir, too long, vnlesse my entertaine

Had bin more pleasing, for my life is sought,

I am a harmelesse well dispos'd plaine man,

That iniure none, yet what so ere is done

Amisse in London, is impos'd on me,

Be it lying, secret theft, or any thing

They call abuse, tis done by No-body,

I am pursued by all, and now am come,

To see what safety is within the Court

For a plaine fellow.

2. Por.

You are welcome hether sir.

Methinkes you do looke wilde, as if you wanted sufficient Sleepe.

Nobo.

O do not blame me sir,

Being pursued I fled, comming though Poules,

There No-body kneeld downe to say his prayers,

And was deuout I wis, comming through Fleetstreet,

There at a tauern doore two swaggerers

Were fighting, being attacht, twas askt who gaue

The first occasion, twas answered nobody,

The guilt was laid on me, which made me fly

To the Thems side, desired a Waterman,

[Page]To row me thence away to Charing-crosse,

He askt me for his fare, I answered him

I had no money, whats your name quoth he,

I told him No-body, then he bad me welcome,

Said he would carry No-body for nothing.

From thence I went

To see the law Courts held at Westminster,

There meeting vvith a friend, I straight vvas askt

If I had any sute, I ansvvered, yes,

Marry I vvanted money, sir quoth he,

For you, because your name is No-body

I vvill sollicit law, and no-body

Assure your selfe, shall thriue by sutes in Lavv,

I thankt him, and so came to see the court,

Where I am very much beholding to your kindnesse.

1. Port.

And Maister no-body you are very vvelcome,

Good fellow lead him to the Hall,

Will you vvalke neare the court.

nobo.

I thanke you sir.

Exeunt nobody and Porters.

Enter Some-body and a Bragart.

Som.

Fie vvhat a toile it is to find out nobody,

I haue dogd him very close, yet he is got into the court before me.

Sir you haue sworne to fight with nobody,

Do you stay heere, and watch at the court gate,

And when you meet him challenge him the field,

Whilst I set Lime-twigs for him in all Offices,

If either you or I, but prosper right,

He needs must fall by policy or slight.

Exit.

Brag:

I would this roundman nobody would come,

I that professe much valor yet haue none,

Cannot but be too hard for nobody,

For what can be in nobody, vnlesse

He be so cald because he is al spirit,

Or say he be all spirit, wanting limbes,

[Page]How can this spirit hurt me, sure he dies,

And by his death, my fame shall mount the skies.

Enter nobody.

nobody.

By thy leaue my sweet friend,

Theres for thy farewell.

Brag.

Stay.

nobo.

Thats but one word, let two go to the bargaine if it please you, why should I stay.

Brag.

I challenge thee.

no.

I may chuse whither ile answer your chalenge by your leaue.

Bra.

Ile haue thee picturd as thy picture, vnles thou answer me

no.

For what sir, pray why wold you haue me printed.

Brag.

For cowardice.

nobo.

Methinkes your picture woulde doe better for the picture of cowardice then mine sir, but pray whats your will with me.

Brag.

Thou hast abusd one Some-body,

nobo.

So haue my betters abusd Som-body in their time

Brag.

Ile fight with thee for that.

no.

Alas sir I am nobody at fighting, yet thus much let mee tell you, nobody cannot run away, I cannot budge.

Brag.

Prepare thee then, for I will spit thy body vppon this weapon.

nobo.

nay by faith that you cannot, for I haue no bodye.

Brag.

Thy bowels then.

no.

They are the fairer mark a great deal, com on sir, come on

Brag.

Haue at thy bellie.

nobo.

You must either hit that or nothing.

Brag.

Ile kill and quarter thee.

nobo.

Youle hardly find my ioynts I think to quarter me,

I am so well fed, come on sir.

Fight nobody is downe,

Brag.

now thou art at my mercie.

no.

What are you the better to haue nobody at your mercy

Brag.

Ile kill thee novv.

[Page]Nobo.

I thinke youle sooner kill me then any body,

But let me rise againe.

Brag.

No I will let No-body rise.

Nobo.

Why then let me sir, I am No-body,

Enter Clowne.

Clown.

How now, O fates, O heauens, is not that my M.

what shall I do, be valiant▪ and reskue my sweet maister,

Auant thou Pagan, Pug, what ere thou be,

Behold I come to set thy prisoner free.

Brag.

Fortune that giddy Goddesse hath turnd her wheel,

I shall be matcht, thus will I gore you both. Hold captains,

not Hercules himselfe would fight with two, I yeeld.

Clown.

Twas yoor best course, down vassall dawn, and kisse

My pumpe.

Brag.

Tis base, O base.

Clow.

Zounds, ile naile thy lips to limbo vnlesse thou kis.

Brag.

Tis done.

Nobo.

Thanks honest seruant.

Clow.

Zounds if I say ile doet, ile doet indeed.

Nobo.

For this ile carry thee into the Court,

Where thou shalt see thy Maister No-body

Hath friends will bid him welcome, so farewell,

Clown.

Farewell maister Braggart, farewell, farewell.

Exeunt.

Brag.

Ile follow, I shall meet with Some-body,

That will reuenge, ile plot and ert be long

Ile be reuengd on No-body for this wrong.

Exit.

Enter Vigenius Peridure and the Queene.

Queene.

Your hopes are great faire brothers, and your names, shall if in this you be aduisd by vs,

Be rankt in scroule of all the Brittish kings,

Oh take vpon you this so weighty charge,

To great to be dischargd by Elidure.

Vig.

Deere sister Q. how are we bound to you,

In neerer bonds then a fraternall league,

[Page]For this your royall practise to raise vs,

Vnto the height of honor and estate,

Let me no longer breath a prince on earth,

Or thinke me woorthy of your regall blood,

If we imbrace not this high motion.

Perid.

Imbrace it brother, we are all on speed,

My princely thought inflam'd with Ardency

Of this imperiall state, and Scepterd rule,

My kinglie browes, itch for a stately Crowne,

This hand to beare a round Monarchall Globe,

This the bright sword of Iustice, and stern aw,

Deere sister you haue made me all on fire,

My kingly thoughts, beyond their bounds aspire.

Vig.

How shall we quit your loue, when we ascend

The state of Elydure.

Queen.

All that I craue,

Is but to make the imperious Queene my slaue,

That she that aboue Iustice now commands,

May tast new thraldome at our royall hands.

Perid.

The Queene is yours, the king shalbe depos'd,

And she disgraded from all Soueraignty.

Queen.

That I might liue to see that happy houre,

To haue that sterne commandresse in my power.

Vig.

Shees doomd alreadie, and at your dispos [...],

And we prepard for speedy execution,

Of any plot that may availe our pompe,

Or throne vs in the state of Brittany.

Enter Morgan and Mallgo.

Perid.

Heere comes the Lords of this pretended league,

How goes our hope, speake valiant English Peeres,

Are we in way of Soueraignty, or still stand we

Subiects vnto the aw of Elidure.

Mor.

Long liue the valiant brothers of the King,

With mutuall loue to weare the Brittish Crowne,

[Page]Two thousand Souldiors haue I brought from Wales,

to wait vpon the princely Perydure.

Malg.

As many of my bold confederates

Haue I drawne from the South to sweare allegiance,

to young Vigenius.

Vig.

Do but call me king,

the charming Spheres so sweetly cannot sing.

Malg,

To king Vigenius.

Vig.

Oh but wheres our Crowne,

that make knees humble, when their soueraignes frowne.

Mal.

King Eliduras shall his state resigne.

Perid.

Say Morgan so, and Britains rule is mine.

Mor.

king Peridure shall raigne.

Perid.

And sit in sta [...]e.

Mor.

And thousand subiects on his glory waite.

Perid.

Then they that lifts vs to the imperiall seate,

Our powers and will shall study to make great.

Vig.

And thou that raisest vs, as our best friend,

Shall as we mount the like degrees ascend.

Queen.

When will you giue the attempt.

Perid.

Now royall sister.

Before the king haue notice of our plot,

Before the Lords that loue his gouernment,

Prepare their opposition.

Vig.

Well determined,

And like a king in Esse, now this night,

Lets make a hostile vprore in the Court,

Surprize the king, make ceazure of the Crowne,

Lay hands vpon the Counsell, least they scape

to leuy forces, those Lords

that serue the king, and with austere reproofes,

punish the hatefull vices of the Land,

Must not awe vs, they shall not raigne, we wil,

those that applaud vs, raise, despise vs, kill,

Perid.

I see a kind of state appeare already

In thy maiestick brow, cal in the souldiors,

[Page]Man the Court gates, barricade al the streets,

Defend the waies, the lands and passages,

And gi [...]t the pallace with a treble wall

Of armed souldiors, and in dead of night,

When all the peeresly drownd in golden sleepe,

Sound out a sodaine and a shrill Alarum,

to maze them in the midst of horrid dreames.

Vig.

The king and Crowne is ours.

Q.

The Queen I claime.

Perid.

It shal go hard, but I the shrew will tame,

trumpets and drums, your dreadfull clamors sound.

Vig.

Proclaime me captiue, or a king new crownd,

Alarum, they watche the doores, Enter at one doore Cornwell ▪

Corn

Treason, treason.

Perid.

thou art mine what ere thou be.

Corn

Prince Peridure.

Perid.

I Cornwell and thy king.

Corn.

He discords taught, that taught thee so to sing.

Alarum Enter at another doore Martianus.

Mar.

Who stops this passage.

Vig.

Martianus we.

Mar.

Vigenius.

Vig.

Vn [...]o whom thou owest thy knee.

Mar.

My knee to none▪ but Elidure shall bend.

Vig.

Our raign beginning hath when his lines end.

Alarum, Enter at another doore Elydure, stopt by the Queene.

Lady

What traitrous hand dares interdict our way?

Queene.

Why that dare ours, tis we command thee stale.

[Page]Lady.

Are we not Queene?

Queene.

Ist you, then happily met,

I haue owed you long, and now Ile pay that dept.

Lady.

Vild traitresse, darest, thou lay a violent hand on vs thy Queene?

Queene.

We dare commaund thee stand,

Thou wast a Queene, but now thou art a slaue.

Lady.

Before such bondage, graunt me heauen a graue.

Alarum Enter Elidure.

Elidure.

What seeke ye Lords? What meane these loud

Alarums, in the still silence of this hunnied night?

Perid.

King we seeke thee.

Vig.

And more we seeke thy Crowne.

Elidure.

Why Princely brothers is it not our owne,

That tis ours we plead the law of kings,

The guift of heauen, and the antiquety on earth,

Election from them both.

Vig.

We plead our powers & strength, we two must raign.

Perid.

We were borne to rule, and homage we disdaine.

Corn.

Doe not resigne, good King.

Perid.

How saucy Lord?

Corn.

Ile keepe still thy Crowne.

Perid.

I say that word shall cost old Cornwels life.

Corn.

Tush this for care.

Tyrants good subiects kills and traitors spare.

Vig.

Wilt thou submit thy Crowne?

Mar.

Dread soueraigne, no.

Vig.

He hates his owne life that aduiseth so.

Mar.

I hate all traitors, and had rather die,

Then see such wrong done to his soueraignty.

Queen.

Giue vp thy state to these two princely youthes, and thy resigment shal preserue thy life.

Lady.

Wilt thou so much wrong both thy selfe and wife?

Hast liued a king, and canst thou die a slaue,

A royal seat, doth aske a royall graue,

[Page]Though thousand swords thy present safety ring,

Thou that hast bin a Monarche, dye a king.

Queen.

Whether he liue or dye, thou sure shalt be no longer Queene, but Vassayle vnto me, Ile make ye now my drudge.

Lady.

How mynion, thine?

Queene.

Thart no more Queen, thy husband must resigne.

Corn.

Resigne, to whom?

Perid.

I am one.

Vig.

And I another.

Lady.

Canst be so base to see a younger brother,

Nay two young Boyes plast in thy throne of state,

And thou their sodaine in their traines to waite,

Ile dye before I endure it.

Perid.

So shall all,

that doe not prostrate to our homage fall.

Shall they not brother king?

Vig.

They shall by heauen.

Mar.

Come kill me first.

Corn.

Nay make the number euen,

And kill me to, for I am pleasd to dye,

Rather then this indure.

Lady.

The third am I.

Queene.

Nay strike her first.

Perid.

Rage giue my fury way.

Vig.

Strike valiant brother king.

Elid.

Yet he are me, stay.

Perid.

Be briefe for Gods sake then,

Elidure.

O heauen, that men so much should couet care,

Septers are golden baites, the outsides faire:

But he that swallowes this sweete sugred pill,

Twill make him sicke with troubles that grow stil:

Alasse you seeke to ease me being wearied

And lay my burthen on your able loines,

My vnambitious thoughts haue bin long tird,

[Page]With this great charge, and now they rest desird,

And see the kinde youths coueting my peace,

Bring me of all these turmoiles free release.

Heere take my Crown.

Lady

Wilt thou be made a stale,

Shall this proud Woman, and these boyes preuaile?

Shal I for them be made a publike scorne,

Oh hadst thou buried bin, assoone as borne,

How happy had I bin.

Elid.

Patienc sweete wife,

Thinkst thou I praise my Crowne aboue thy life,

No take it Lords, it hath my trouble bin,

And for this Crowne, oh giue me backe my Queene.

Queene.

Nay shes bestowed on me.

Elydure.

Then what you please,

Heere take my trouble, and resigne your ease.

Sicoph.

My Lords receiue the crowne of Elydure,

Faire hopefull blossoms of our future peace,

Happy am I, that I but liue to see,

the Land ruld by your dubble Soueraignty.

Vig.

Now let the king discend to be disposd of

At our high pleasure, come giue me the Crowne.

perid.

Why you the Crown, good brother more then we.

vig.

Weele proue it how it fits our kingly temples,

And how our brow becomes a wreath so faire.

perid.

Shall I see you crownd, and my selfe stand bare,

Rather this wreath maiestick let me try,

And sit inthrond, in pompious Maiesty.

vig.

And I attend, whilst you ascend the throne,

Where had we right, we should sit crownd alone.

perid.

Alone, darst thou vsurpe vpon my right.

vig.

I durst do much, had I but power and might,

But wanting that, come let vs raigne togither,

both kings, and yet the rich crowne worne by neither.

perid.

Content, the king doth on our sentence waite,

[Page]To doome him, come lets take our dubble state,

What shall he liue, or dye?

Elid.

I know not how I should deserue to dye.

Lady.

Yes to let two such vsurpers liue.

Sicoph.

Nay Madam, now I needes must tell your grace,

You wrong these kings, forget both time and place,

It is not as it was, now you must bowe,

Vnto this dubble state ile shew you how.

Lady.

Base flattring groome slauish parasite,

Vig.

Shall I pronounce his sentence.

Perid.

Brother doe.

Vig.

Thy life we graunt thee and that Womans to,

But liue deuided you within the tower,

You prisoner to that princesse.

Lady.

In her power,

Oh dubble slauery.

Perid.

Conuay both hence.

Elid.

My doomes seuerer then my small offence.

Queene.

Come Minion, will you goe.

Lady.

To death, to hel,

Rather then in thy base subiection dwell.

Vig.

Cornwell and Martianus you both see,

We are possest of this imperiall seate,

And you that were sworne liedgemen to the Crowne,

Should now submit to vs that owe the same,

We know without your graue directions,

We cannot with experience guide the land,

Therefore weele study to deserue your loues.

Perid.

Twas not ambition, or the loue of state,

that drew vs to this businesse, but the feare,

Of Elidurus weakenesse whom in zeale,

To the whole land we haue deposd this day,

speake, shall we haue your loues?

corn.

My lords, and Kings,

Tis bootlesse to contend gainst heauen and you,

[Page]Since without our consent the kings desposd,

And we vnable to support his fall,

Rather then the whole land should shrinke,

You shall haue my assystance in the state.

Mar.

Cornwell and I will beare the selfe same state.

Perid.

We now are Kings indeede and Brittaine sway,

When Cornwell and his brother Viue say

Vig.

Receiue our grace, keepe still your offyces,

Imbrace these peeres that raisd vs to the throne,

Brittaine reioice, and Crowne this happy yeare,

Two sonnes at once thine in thy royall sphere.

Corn.

And thats prodigious, I but waite the time

To see their sodaine fall that swiftly clime.

Mar.

My Lord much honor might you win your land

To giue release vnto your sister Queene,

Being a Lady in the land beloud.

Vig.

You haue aduisd vs well, it shall be so.

Corn.

Shold you set free the Princesse might not she

Make vprors in the land, and raise the Commons.

In the releasment of the Captiue King.

Perid.

Well counseld Cornwell, she shall liue in bondage.

Mar.

Renowne your selfe by being kind to her.

Corn.

Secure your state by her imprisonment.

Vig.

Weele haue the Queene set free.

Perid.

Weele haue her guarded,

With stricter keeping and seuerer charge.

Mar.

Will you be braued by one thats but your equall,

Hauing no more then party gouernment.

Corn.

Or you be scornd by one to you inferior,

In generall estimation of the land.

vig.

Set free the Princesse, say the king commaunds.

Perid.

Keepe her in thraldome still, and captiue bands.

vig.

Weele not be contermaunded.

perid.

Sir nor we.

vig.

Before Ile be halfe a king and contrould

[Page]In any regality, ile hazard all,

Ile be compleat or none.

Perid.

Before ile stand,

Thus for a Cipher with my halfe command,

Ile venture all my fortunes, how now pride,

Percht on my vpperhand.

Corn.

By heauen well spyed.

vig.

Tis ours by right, and right we will inioy.

perid.

Claimst thou preheminence, com down proud boy

vig.

Then lets try maistries, and one conquer all,

We climd at once, and we at once will fall.

They wrastle and are parted

peri.

They that loue Peridure deuide themselues vppon their part.

Corn.

That am I.

Mor.

and I.

vig.

They that loue vs on this side.

Mar.

I.

Mal.

And I.

vig.

Then to the field, to set our sister free.

perid.

By all my hopes with her ile captiue thee.

vig.

Trumpets and Drums, triumphant musick sing.

perid.

this day a captiue, or a compleat king.

Exeunt.

Alarum, Enter Some-body and Sicophant.

Somb.

Sir you haue sworne to manage these affaires,

Euen with your best of iudgement.

Enter Clowne.

Sicoph.

I haue prouided, you will let me share,

Of the Grand-benefit you get by dice,

Deceitfull Cards, and other cozening games

you bring into the Court.

[Page]C.

O rare, now shall I find out crab, som notable knauery

Somb.

You shall haue equall share with Somebody,

Prouided, you will help to apprehend that Nobody,

On whom the guilt shall lye,

Of all those cheting tricks I haue deuisd.

C.

O the fates, treason against my m. person, but I beleeue

Somb. wil pay fort, ile tickle your long wast for this ifaith,

Sico.

Giue me some bales of dice. What are these?

som.

Those are called high Fulloms.

Clo.

Ile Fullom you for this.

som.

Those low Fulloms▪

C.

They may chance bring you as hie as the Gallowes.

som.

Those Demi-bars.

clow.

Great reason you shovld come to the barre before the gallows.

som.

Those bar Sizeaces.

Clo.

A couple of Asses indeed.

som.

Those Brisle dice.

clo.

Tis like they brisle, for I am sure theile breed anger

sicop.

Now sir, as you haue compast all the Dice,

So I for cards. These for the game at maw,

All saving one, are Cut next vnder that,

Lay me the Ace of Harts, then cut the Cards,

O your fellow must needs haue it in his first tricke.

clow.

Ile teach you a trick for this yfaith.

sicop.

these for Premero cut vpon the sides,

As thr other on the ends.

clow.

Marke the end of all this.

sicop.

these are for post and paire, these for saunt,

these for new cut.

clown.

theile make you cut a fether one day,

sico.

Well, these disperst, and No-body

Attacht for all these crimes, shalbe hangd.

clow.

I or els you shall hange for him,

sico.

Come, shals about our busines.

som.

Content, lets straight about it.

Exeunt

clow.

O my hart, that it was my fortune to heare all thys, [Page] but beware a lucky man whllst you liue, Alasse if I had not rescued my maister, the swaggering fellowe woulde haue made No-body of him. Againe if I had not ouerheard this treason to his person, these Cunnicatching knaues, woulde haue made lesse then Nobody of him. For indeed they wold haue hangd him, but heeres my maister, O sweet maister how cheere you?

Enter No-body.

Nobo.

O excellent, admirable, and beyond comparison, I thinke my shape inchants them.

clo.

I think not so, for if I wer a Lady, I should neuer abide you: but Maister, I can tell you rare newes you must be apprehended, for a Cheater, a Cozener, a Libiller, and I know not what.

Nobo.

Not I, I am an innocent, no Cheater, no Cozener, but a simple honest man, hunted from place to place by some-body.

clo.

tis true sir, it is one som. that would attach you, therfore

Looke to your selfe, but Mai. if you be tooke neuer feare,

I heard all their knauery, and I can cleare you I warrant.

Enter Some-body and officers.

Som.

O haue I found you, this is he my frends,

We haue long sought, you know when twas inquird,

Who brought the false Dice, and the cheating cards

Into the court, twas answered No-body.

Clo. No.

(qd tha) I am affraid youle proue the knaue som.

som.

Lay hold vpon him, beare him to the prison.

No.

To prison, say you well, if I be guilty this fellow is my partner take him to.

som.

Are you confederate in this treason sirra?

clo.

If I be not sir some-body is, but if I be guilty I must beare

If off with head and shoulders.

som.

To prison with them, now the bird is caught,

[Page]For whom so long, through Britane haue I sought.

Clow.

I beleeue I haue a bird in a box, shal catcht you for all this.

Someb.

Away with them I say.

Exeunt.

Enter seuerally Peridure, Vigenius, Cornewell, Martianus, Morgan, Malgo, with drum and Coulors.

Vig.

In Armes well met, ambitious Peridure,

Perid.

Vigenius thou salutes me with a title,

Most proper to thy selfe,

Vig.

Art thou not proud.

Perid.

Onely to meet thee on this bed of death,

Wherein the Title to the English Crowne,

Shall perish with thy selfe.

Vig.

Faire is the end

Of such as die in honourable warre,

Oh far more faire, then on a bed of downe.

Mar.

Warre is the souldiors haruest it cuts downe.

Perid.

The liues of such as hinder our renowne.

Vig.

Such as are apt for tumult.

Perid.

Such as you,

That to our lawfull Soueraigne are vntrue.

Vig.

Blushes not Peridure to braue vs so.

Perid.

Blushes Vigenius at thy ouerthrow,

Who wast that told me he would submit.

Sicoph.

Twas I my Lord.

Vig.

Peace foole thou doest forget,

Tis not an hower since, to our princely eare,

Thou saidst thou did desire vs to forbeare.

Sicoph.

True my good Lord.

Perid.

True that I sought to stay.

vig.

That I would basely my ritcht hopes betray.

Sico.

I did it of mine owne head to make you friends.

Perid.

Still playing of the Sicophant.

[Page]Vig.

What still.

Perid.

A glose I see to insinuate our good will.

Vig.

That whosoeuer conquerd, he might gaine.

Perid.

the fauour of vs both, that was his trayne.

Vig.

But henceforth we cashiere thee from the filde.

Perid

Neuer heereafter beare a souldiers shield,

A souldiers sword, nor any other grace,

But what is like thine owne, a doubble face.

sicoph.

Now I beseech Ioue heare my praier, let them bee both slaine in the battell.

Exit.

Perid.

If there be any other of his hart,

We giue them free licence to depart.

corn.

Cornwell hates flattery.

Mar.

So does Martianus.

Malg.

Malgo is resolute for all affaires.

Morg.

And so is Morgan, for he scornes delayes.

Vig.

then where the fielde consists of such a spirit,

He that subdues conquers the Crowne by merit.

perid.

thats I.

Vig.

tis I.

Perid.

Ryuers in blood declare it.

Vig.

Grasse turne to Crimson if vigenius spare it.

Elid.

Aire be made purple with our reaking gore.

vige.

Follow my frends.

Perid.

Conquer or neare giue ore.

Alarum, Excursious, periduras, and vigenius fight, and both slaine.

Enter cornwell, Martianus, Morgan, and Malgo.

Mar.

this way I saw vigenius on the spur.

corn.

I periduras, this way.

Morg.

A strang fight, my Lord is breathlesse.

Malg.

My deare Lord is dead.

[Page]Mar.

True Brothers in ambition, and in death.

Corn.

Yet we are enemies, why fight we not

With one another, for our generals losse.

Mar.

To much blood already hath beene spent,

Now therefore since the difference in themselues,

Is reconsiled in eithers ouerthrow,

Let vs be as we were before this Iar,

And ioyning hands like honorable frends,

Inter their bodyes as becomes their state,

And which is rare once more to Elidure,

Who now in prison leades a wearied life,

With true submission offer Englands Crowne.

Of all the charges of tumultuous fate,

This is most strange three times to flow in state.

Exeunt.

Enter Queene and Sicophant.

Sico.

Madam.

Queene.

You are welcome, what new flatteries,

Are a coyning in the mint of that smoth face?

Sicoph.

Where is the Lady Elidor I pray.

Q.

Amongst my other waiting maides at worke.

sicoph.

Tis well, yet Madam with your gratious leaue

I wish it better.

Queene.

What in loue with her,

Canst thou affect such a deiected wretch,

Then I perceiue thy flattery is folly,

Or thout proue honest, louing one so poore.

Sico.

I know not Madam what your highnesse gathers

Out of my troubled words, I loue you well,

And though the time should alter, as I am sure,

It is impossible, yet I would follow

All your misfortunes with a patient hart.

Queene.

I haue seene too much of thee to credit thee.

Sico.

Now in your height of glory vse your seruant,

[Page]now Madam, whilst the noble Peridure

That loues you dearer then the Brittish Crowne,

Whilst hees conqueror, vse me to destroy

Your greatest enemy, and I will doe it.

Queene.

Thou wilt not.

sicoph.

Be it Elidure the king,

The prisoner I should say, Ide murder him,

To shew how much I loue your maiesty.

Q.

Thou wouldst not poyson for me his base Queene,

Whom I so often haue triumphed ore,

That torment now is her beatitude,

And tedious vnto me.

sico.

no more, shes dead.

Enter Lady Elidure.

queene.

See where she comes, dispatch her presently,

For though the Princely Peridure be king,

His brothers death in time will make him odious

Vnto his subiects, and they may restore

Mild Elidure againe, and then I dye,

sico.

Withdraw, shes dead, as surely as you liue.

Lady.

What shall I neuer from this seruitude

Receiue releasant euermore be plagud,

With this insulting Queen? Is there no change,

no other alteration in the state

I know there is not, I am borne to be

a slaue, to one baser then slauery

sioo.

I will release you by a speedy death.

Lady.

By death, alasse, what tongue pronounst that word?

What my Lord weather-cocke? nay then I see,

Death in thy mouth is but base flattery.

sico.

By heauen I am sent to kill you.

Lady.

By whose meanes.

sico.

By one that will auouch it when tis done.

Lady.

not the proud queene.

[Page]sico.

Yes, but I am determined

in full amends for all my flattery,

to saue your life, and kill her instantly.

La.

Oh if a Divell would vndertake that deed,

I card not though she heard me, I would say,

He were a starre more glorious then the day.

sicoph.

And would you for that good deed pardon me.

Lady.

And quite all former iniury.

sicoph.

But let me tell your highnes by the way,

the Queene is not so hasty of your death.

Lady.

no, for she had rather haue my life prolongd.

sicoph.

I do assure your highnes on mine honor,

When I did say she sent me to destroy you,

I slaunderd her great mercy towards you,

For she had giuen me order to release you.

Lady

Oh monstrous lie.

sicoph.

beleeue it, for tis true:

And this moreouer, she somuch repents

Her former pride and hardnes towards you,

that she could wish it neuer had bin done.

Lady.

then I repent me of my wrongs towards her,

And in the stead of a reward proposd

to him that should destroy her, I do wish,

Death be his death, that vndertakes the deed.

sicoph.

but will you not forget these princelie words,

if any alteration should ensue.

Lady.

not I, I in my oths am true.

sicoph.

Except once more the Lords crowne Elydure.

Lady.

though that should chance, ile hold my promise sure.

sicoph.

And you too Madam.

Q.

So thou muderst hir.

sico.

Know that Lord periduras and his

brother, are in the battell slaine, and by the nobles,

her husband Elidure raisd to the state,

setting aside all iesting, Queene beleeue it.

[Page]And truce with her, least she triumph againe.

Queen.

For Gods sake make vs friends.

sicoph.

Good Lord how strange this reconciled foes behold each other.

Lady.

Sister.

Queen.

Kind sister.

sicoph.

Then make me your brother, say are you friends.

Both.

We are.

sicoph.

Then chance what can,

in this I haue prooud my selfe an honest man.

Enter Malgo.

Malgo.

The king your husband, madam new releast,

Desires your presence at his Coronation.

Lady.

My Elydure a third time to be crownd.

Mal.

True Madam, and expects your company.

Lady.

And you knew this before.

sicoph.

No on mine honor.

Lady.

Neither you Sister.

Queene.

neither.

Lady.

If you did My oath is past, and what I haue lately sworne ile hold inuiolate, here all stryfe ends, thy wit has made two proude shrewes perfect friends.

Exeunt.

Enter in state, Elidure, Cornwell, Martianus, Morgan, and all the Lords.

Corn.

A third time liue our gratious soueraigne

Monarch of England, crowned by these hands.

Elid.

A third time Lords, I do returne your loue,

And wish it with my soule, so heauen were pleasd,

My ambitious Brothers had not died for this,

But we haue giuen them honorable graues.

[Page] Enter Queen and Lady.

And mournd their most vntimely funerall,

My loued Queen, come seat thee by my side,

Partner in all my sorrowes and my ioyes,

And you her reconciled Sister sit,

By her in second place of maiesty,

It ioyes me that you haue outworne your pride.

Lady.

Methinks my gratious husband and my King,

I neuer tooke more pleasure in my glasse,

Then I receiue in her society.

Queen.

Nor I in all my state as in her loue.

Elid.

My Lord of Cornwell, whose that whispers to you?

Or whats the newes?

Corn.

My liege, he tels me heeres a great contention

betwixt two noted persons of the Land

much spoke of by all states, one some-body

Hath brought before your highnes and this presence,

An infamous and strange opiniond fellow,

Cald No-body, they would intreat your highnes,

To heare their matters scand.

Elid.

Weele sit in person on their controuersies,

Admit them Cornwell.

Lady.

Is that strange monster tooke, somuch renownd,

In Citty, Court, and Country, for lewd prancks.

Tis well, weel heare how he can purge himselfe.

Enter some-body, bringing in No-body and his man, with Billes and staues.

Som.

now sirrha we haue brought you before the king,

Wheres your hart now?

Nob.

My harts in my hose, but my face was neuer ashamed to shew it selfe, yet before king or Keyser.

som.

And wheres your hart sirrha?

[Page]Clowne.

My harts lower then my hofe, for mine it at my heel, but whersoeuer it is, it is a true hart, and so is not somb.

som.

Health to your Maiestie, and to the Queene,

With a hart lower then this humble earth

whereon I kneele. I beg against this fellow,

Iustice my liege.

Eli.

Against whom.

som.

Against No-body.

No.

My liege, his words wel sute vnto his thoughts,

He wishes no man Iustice, being composd

Of all deceit, of subtilty and slight,

For mine own part, if in this royall presence,

And before all these true iudiciall Lords,

I cannot with sincerenes cleare my selfe,

Of all suggestions falsly coynd against me,

Let me be hangd vp sunning in the ayre,

And made a scar-crow.

Mar.

Lets heare his accusations,

And then how well thou canst aquit thy selfe.

som.

First, when this monster made his residence

Within the country, and disperst his shape

Through euery shire and country of the Land,

Where plenty had before a quiet seat,

And the poore commons of the Land were full,

With rich abundance and saciety,

At his ariue, great dearths and scarsity,

By ingrosing come, and racking poore mens rents.

This makes so many poore and honest Farmers,

to sell their leases, and to beg their bread,

this makes so many beggers in the Land.

Corn.

I but what proofe or lawfull euidence

Can you bring forth, that this was done by him.

som.

My Lord I tras't him, and so found him out,

But should your Lordship not beleeue my proofe,

Examine all the rich and wealthy chuffes,

[Page]Whose full cramd Garners to the roofes are fild,

In euery dearth who makes this scarsitye,

And euery man will clearely quit himselfe,

Then consequently, it must be No-body.

Base copper money is stampt, the mint disgrast,

Make search who doth this, euery man cleares one,

So consequently it must be No-body.

Besides, whereas the nobles of the land,

And Gentlemen built goodly manner houses,

Fit to receiue a King, and all his traine,

And there kept royall hospitality,

Since this intestine monster No-body,

Dwels in these goodly houses keepes no traine,

A hundred Chimnies, and not one cast smoke,

And now the cause of these, mock-begger Hal,

Is this they, are dwelt in by No-body,

For this out of the countrey he was chast.

No.

My royall liedge whie am I thus disgrast,

Ile proue that slandrous wretch hath this al done.

Elid.

Tis good you can acquit you, such abuses,

Growe in the countrey, and vnknowne to vs:

nay then no maruell that so manie poore,

starue in the streets and beg from doore, to doore.

Then sirha purge you from this countrey blame,

Or we will make thee the worlds publike shame.

Corn.

now No-body, vvhat can you say to this.

Clo.

My M. hath good cards, on his side Ile vvarant him.

No.

my Lord, you knovv that slanders are no proofes,

nor vvords without their present euidence,

If things were done, they must be done by some-body,

Else could they haue no being. Is corne hoorded,

some-body hords it, else it would be delt,

In mutuall plentie throughout all the land,

Are their rents raisd, if No-body should doe it,

then should it be vndone. Is

[Page]Base money stampt, and the kings letters forgd,

Some-body needes must doe it, therefore not I,

And where he saies, great houses long since built,

Lye destitute, and wast because inhabited,

By No-body my liedge, I answer thus,

If Some-body dwelt therein, I would giue place.

Or wold he but alow those chimnies fire,

They would cast cloudes to heauen, the Kitchin-foode

It would releeue the poore, the sellers beere,

It would make strangers d [...]inke, but he commits

These outragies then laies the blame on me,

And for my good deed, I am made a scorne.

I onely giue the tired a refuge seat,

The vnclothd garments, and the starued meate.

Clow.

How say you by this maister Some-body. I beleeue

you will be found out by and by.

Corn.

If this be true my liedge, as true it is,

Some-body will be found an arrant cheater,

Vnlesse he better can acquit himselfe.

Sich.

Touch him with the citty, since you haue taken the foile in the Countrey.

Mar.

Sirha, what can you say to this?

Someb.

What should I saie my Lord, see heare complaints,

Made in the citty against no-body,

Aswell as in the country. See their bils,

Heeres one complaines his wife hath bin abroad,

And asking where she reuels night, by night,

She answers she hath bin with no-body.

Heares queanes maintaind in euery suburb streete,

Aske who maintaines them, and tis no-body.

Watches are, beaten, and Constables are scoft,

In dead of night men are made drunke in tauernes,

Girles loose their maiden heads at thirteene yeares,

Pockets pickt, and purses cut in throngs.

Queene.

Inough, inough, doth no-body all this?

[Page]Though he hath cleard himselfe from country crimes,

He cannot scape the citty.

No.

Yes dread Queene,

I must confesse these things are daily done,

For which I heere accuse this Some-body,

That euery where with slaunders dogs my steps,

And cunningly assumes my borrowed shape,

Women lie out, if they be tooke and found

with somebody, then No-body goes cleere,

Else the blames mine, he doth these faults vnknowne,

then slanders my chast innocence for proofe.

somebody doth maintaine a common strumpet

ith Garden-allies, and vndid himselfe.

somebody swaggered with the watch last night,

was carried to the counter.

somebody once pickt a pocket in this Play-house yard,

Was hoysted on the stage, and shamd about it.

Clow.

Ha, ha, hath my maister met with you.

no.

Alasse my liege, your honest No-bodie

Builds Churches in these dayes, and Hospitals,

Releeues the seuerall prisons in the Citty,

Redeemes the needy debtor from the hole,

And when this somebody brings infant children,

And leaues them in the night at strangers doores,

Nobody fathers them, prouides them nurses,

What should I say, your highnes loue I craue,

That am all iust.

corn.

Then somebodies a knaue.

sicoph.

If neyther citty nor countrie wil preuaile to him, with the court ma. somebody, and there you will match him.

som.

Then touching his abuses in the court.

corn.

I marrie Nobody what say you to this,

See, heere are dangerous Libils gainst the state,

And no name to them, therefore nobodies.

Mar.

Besides strange rumors and false buzzing tales,

[Page]Of mutinous leesings raisd by No-body.

Malg.

False dice and Cheating brought euen to the presence, and who dares be so impudently knauish,

Vnlesse some fellow of your name and garbe.

Morg.

Cards of aduantage with such cheating tricks,

Brought euen amongst the noblest of the land,

And when these cosening shifts are once discouered,

There is no cheater found saue No-body.

som.

How canst thou answer these.

nobo.

Euen as the rest,

Are libels cast, if nobody did make them,

And no-bodies name to them, they are no libels,

For he that sets his name to any slander,

Makes it by that no libell, this aproues

He forgd those slanderous writs to scandall me.

And for false cards, and dice, let my great slops

And his big bellied dublet both be sercht,

And see which harbors most hipocrisie.

queene.

Let them both be sercht.

sico.

Ile take my leaue of the presence.

Clow.

nay M. sicophant weele haue the inside of your pockets translated to, weele see what stuffyng they haue, Ile take a little paines with you.

Elid.

What haue you there in nobodyes pockets.

Corn.

Here are my liedge bonds forfei [...] by poore men,

Which he releast out of the vsurers hands,

And canceld. Leases likewise forfeited,

By him repurchast. These peticions,

Of many poore men to preferre their sutes.

Vnto your highnesse.

Elid.

Thou arte Iust we know,

All great mens pockets should be lined so.

que [...]ne.

What bumbast beares his gorge.

M [...]r.

False Cards, false Dice;

The kings hand counterfeit,

[Page]Bonds put in sute to gaine the forfitures,

forgd deedes to cheate men of their ancient land,

And thousand such like trashe.

Clo.

Nay looke you heere, heares one that for his bones is pretily stuft. Heares fulloms and gourds: heeres tall-men & low-men Heere tray duce ace, passedge comes a pace.

som.

Mercy great King.

Sicoph.

Mercy my Soueraigne.

Corn.

My liedge you cannot to be seuere in punishing,

Those monstrous crimes, the onely staine and blemish

To the weale-publike.

Eli.

Villaines heare your doome,

Thou that hast bin the oppressyon of the poore,

Shalt bee more poore then penury it s [...]lfe,

All that thou hast is forfit to the Law,

For thy extortion I will haue thee branded,

Vpon the forhead with the letter F.

For Cheating whipt, for forging loose thine eares,

Last for a basing of thy Soueraignes Coyne,

And traitrous impresse of our kingly seale,

Suffer the death of traitors. Beare him hence.

som.

Since I must needs be martird graunt me this,

That No-body may whip, or torture me,

Or hang me for a traitor.

Morg

Away with him.

Som.

Or if needs I must dye a traitors death,

That No-body may see me when I dye.

Malg.

Hence with the traitor.

Clo.

I know by your complexion you wer ripe for the hangm [...]n, but now to this leane Gentleman.

Lady.

Let me doome him, smoth spaniel, soothing grome

Slicke Oyly knaue, egregious parasite,

Thou turning vane, and changing Weather-cocke,

My sentence is thou shalt be naked stript,

And by the citty beadles soundly whipt.

[Page]Clow.

Ile make bold to see thexecution.

No.

Well hath the King decreed, now by your highnesse patience let No-body borrow a word or two of Euery-body.

The Epilogue.

Heer if you wonder why the king Elidurus bestowes nothing on me for all my good seruices in his land, if the multitude shuld say he hath preferd No-body, Some-body or other would say it were not well done, for in doing good to No-body he should but get himselfe an il name. Therefore I will leaue my sute to him, and turne to you. Kinde Gentleman if any-body heere dislike No-body, then I hope Euery-body haue pleased you, for being offended with no-body, nor Any-body can finde himselfe agrieued, Gentlemen they haue a cold sute that haue no-body to speak in their cause, and therefore blame vs not to feare, yet our comfort is this, if no-body haue offended you cannot blame No-body for it, or rather we will finde Some-body heareafter shall make good the fault that no-body hath done, and so I craue the generall grace of Euery-body.

Eli.

now forward Lords, long may our glories stand,

Three sundry times Crownd king of this faire land.

Exeunt.

FINIS.

§

§

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Information about this book

Title statement

No-body, and some-body· With the true chronicle historie of Elydure, who was fortunately three seuerall times crowned King of England. The true coppy thereof, as it hath beene acted by the Queens Maiesties Seruants.

Edition statement

1606

Publication

Publisher

Text Creation Partnership,

Place of publication

Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) :

Date

2004-08 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1).

ID [DLPS]

A08262

ID [STC]

STC 18597

ID [STC]

ESTC S113225

ID [EEBO-CITATION]

99848462

ID [PROQUEST]

99848462

ID [VID]

13557

Availability

This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal. The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.

Series

Early English books online.

Notes

(EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A08262)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 13557)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 855:3)

Source

— No-body, and some-body· With the true chronicle historie of Elydure, who was fortunately three seuerall times crowned King of England. The true coppy thereof, as it hath beene acted by the Queens Maiesties Seruants.,

Extent

[72] p. : ill. (woodcut)

Printed [by James Roberts] for Iohn Trundle and are to be sold at his shop in Barbican, at the signe of No-body,. [London] :: [1606]. (Mostly in verse.) (Printer's name and publication date from STC.) (With a title-page woodcut.) (Signatures: A-I⁴.) (The first leaf is blank. The last leaf verso has a woodcut with caption: Some-body.) (Vertical chain lines.) (Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery.)

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