CHAP. I. Of the first Institution and Authour of Marriage.

IT is not good for man to bee alone (saith the alone and absolute Good­nesse of all goodnesse it selfe) [...] ­mus ergo adiutorem [...]: Gen. 2.18. Let vs therefore make him a helper meete for him: So the creation of the wo­man was to be a helper to the man, not a hinderer, a companion for his comfort, not a vexation to his sor­row, for Consortium est Solatium, Company is comforta­ble though neuer so small, and Adam tooke no little ioy in this his single companion, being thereby fréed from that solitude and silence which his lonenesse would else haue bene subiect vnto, had there beene no other end nor vse in her more, then this her bare presence and society alone: But besides all this, the earth is large and must be peopled, and therefore they are now the Crowne of his Worke­manship, the last and best and perfectest peece of his handi­worke diuided into Genders, as the rest of His creatures are, Male and Female, fit and enabled Procreare sibi simi­lem to bring forth their like, to accomplish his will, who thus blessed their fruitfulnesse in the Bud: Increase & mul­tiply, and replenish the earth. Well might S. Paul say, ob­seruing this, Marriage is honorable amongst al men, & the bed vndefiled; since God himselfe was the Author and In­stitutor [Page 2] thereof euen in Paradice, who gaue the woman in the in, before in his sleepe Adam lost a Rib, but now [...] Reperit Costam, he hath his Rib againe with [...] encrease, branched into many Veines and Ribs, and [...] and Arteries, of wonderfull vse, and admira­bl [...] [...]. So the creation of woman as it was for man, [...] out of man; Adam was made of the same of the earth, and were it not to make woman proud, I would [...] was of that better substance, of that well hus­banded workeman-ship, and refined matter, refined and [...] by the touch of his hands, in moulding to so ex­c [...]llent a proportion as man, of a bone taken out of his side (which that side euer wanteth since as Anatomists ob­serue) to make him the more plyable towards her; not of a bone of his foote, that she should be so low or contempti­ble, or of his head, so high or ambitious, but of his side, a middle part, that shee might bee of a middle con­dition, his fellow and companion, not his seruant or slaue, for Socij sunt qui iunguntur lateribus, they are fel­lowes that walke side by side: of a bone neare to his heart, to put him in minde of dilection and loue; from vnder his arme of protection and defence, &c. Now the Author of this creation we finde here to be the Author of this Myste­ry; He who made the woman of the man gaue her to the man, euen God himselfe, who as Cassianus saith further, in the very prime and beginning of the world, Dedit, this Vnam Vni, gaue this one woman to one man, and no more then one, although for the increase and peopling of all the yet vnhabited Regions and Kingdomes of the earth: In which, no doubt, the Diuine Wisedome had a respect to the loue, not to the lust of man; aiming hereby to aduance the one, and suppresse the other, for where loue is diuided there it is weakned, can neuer be strong, and as we see by experience, he who loues many formally neuer loues any feruently, for vnity is loues number, cannot transcend, and God would haue an entire affection be­tweene [Page 3] the husband and the wife, which he himselfe in per­son thus vouchsafed to honor by coniunction, that as the [...]e bodies were then not two, so their desires should be but one, and withall to insinuate by this his proper instituti­on the more respect and reuerence to that holy ordination, which had so high a beginning and so holy an end, honou­red by his Person, by his Prophets, by his Miracles, and which should so generally be exercised, throughout all estates and conditions, ages and times, to the end of the world, and decistency of all things, which by this meanes (ere that eternall dissolution) should runne a long and con­tinued race in despight of graue and death.

CHAP. II. Of the execellency of Marriage, with the consequence and vse thereof.

THE excellency thereof doth the more ma­nifest it selfe in this, in that it was an addi­tion of beatitude and blessednesse, to that happy and absolute estate that Adam had in his first creation and innocency, that it was so pretious flower that it would not thriue but in so pure a soyle, that God himselfe was the Authour to institute it, and the Priest to celebrate it, ere euer sinne and impurity had tainted the earth, or blemished the Ange­licall beauty of either the Bride or Bridegroome; and though the consequence in that place brought sorrow and death, yet hath it a relation to as full, nay more ample ioy and life in the extent and determination thereof, then it could otherwise haue had in that first perseuerance and fru­iton, from which, though now by sinne, our best faculties, priuiledges and prerogatiues, in all kinds, are so clowded, eclypsed and fallen away, that wee discerne not aright the excellencies, true vses and ends of so Diuine a Mystery in it selfe, notwithstanding we do yet in this twylight per­ceiue [Page 4] such glimpses and sparkles of originall purity and felicity vnextinguished therein, that we are wedded by our owne wils, and induced by so naturall a coaction to the embracement thereof for the mutuall society and comfort of life, without which it could neither subsist nor conti­nue, more then to any other duty or action therein, com­manded or required whatsoeuer.

From the excellency of the institution, come wee to the excellency of the true vse, the danger of the contrary, and therefore the deepe regard to be had before hand, as in the enterprise it selfe, being of such weighty moment and import of which one thus further displaying it, wri­teth.

Marriage of all the humane actions of a mans life, is one of the greatest weight and consequence, as thereon depending the future good, or euill, of a mans whole after­time, and dayes; that Gordian knot once fastened not to be vnloosed but by death, the meanes either to exalt an high to preferment, or cast downe headlong to destructi­on, and the present disposer of a mans whole estate and fortune to his greatest ioy or mysery, and therefore with his tale pondus, (as before) not be danced into lightly or vnaduisedly, with the first that comes to hand, as a blind man layes his hold, but soberly entered vpon with mature aduise, yeares, and deliberation, consent, and counsell of Parents and Friends: For it is in this action as in a Stratageme of warre: Wherein he that erres can erre but once, perisheth vnrecouerably to all after aduice and reliefe: And therefore that merry prouerbe is not amisse, that thus implyeth; That in Wiuing and Thri­uing, a man should aske counsell of all the world, it being a matter of such difficulty, doubt, and danger to bee resol­ued in; such a continuall storme and tempest to those that lanch not forth in a prosperous gale, hauing peruerted their felicity therein by running from the rule of God in their choyce, that (with Ionas) such to be deliuered, were [Page 5] better be cast aliue into the Sea, to the belly of the Whale, and mercy of the mercilesse bottomlesse deepe (though with him they neuer came to shoare againe) then indure such a perpetuall vexation it is the harbenger vnto, with such a Leuiathan of the Land as is a furious woman: for as a vertuous woman is a hauen of beauty, so a wicked woman is a sea of euils, and in her tyde more full then that element of monsters, worse far to liue with then a smoaky house, for that for the most part, offends onely the eyes in the head, but this all the sences in the body: Nay, he that hath such a Familiar, hath a worse neighbour of his owne, then Horsam should haue had, if her fabulous Dragon had beene true: Yet though in the curse it be sub­iect to these euils, blesse it in the true vse, and it is of all humane comforts the greatest; for if the mutuall society betweene friend and friend be so great, that in affliction it administreth comfort, and in ioy it heapeth the measure to the brime, by detracting from the sowre, and adding to the sweete, by a sensible participation of eithers quality, how much more then shall it be enlarged by such a friend, which is to vs a second selfe, or Treasurer of our owne thoughts, and therefore more neerely interressed in either the one or the other.

Besides this, in thy Marriage, the very name whereof should portend vnto theee Merry-age, thou not onely vni­test vnto thy selfe a friend, and comfort for society, but al­so a companion for pleasure, and in some sort a seruant for profite too, for a wife is all these: Besides, by the excellency and blessing of this institution, thou continuest thy name, thy likenesse, and thy Generation walkes vpon earth, and so liuest in thy similitude, in despight of death, when thou thy selfe art dead, and raked vp in dust, and otherwise without remembrance, vnlesse by some ruinous stone, or ragged Epitaph, and so (in some sort) makest thy body immortall, like thy soule, and not onely by this dost thou adde to the Sons of the earth, but to the Saints of heauen; [Page 6] Besides, by this so excellent, so honourably accounted of amongst all men are thy wilde and vnbrideled affections reduced to humanity and ciuility, to mercy and clemency, and thou thy selfe called backe to looke into thy selfe, and to vnderstand the substance and truth of things, and there­fore he that hath no wife is said to be a man vnbuilt that wanteth one of his ribbes, a sleepe as Adam was till his wife was made, for marriage awaketh the vnderstanding as out of a dreame; and he that hath no wife is said to be a man in the midst of the sea, perishing for want of this ship to waft him to shore: Is said to be parched in the heate of the Sunne, that hath not this Vine to rest him vnder her shadow: If sickenesse come it brings thee a Physition; if health continue it is partly a preseruer. But to go further, to equall it with the best commended Virginity, where is the man this day liuing whose Virginity may be compa­red with Abrahams Mariage, in whom all the Nations of the earth were blessed, S. Austin opposeth it to the Virgini­ty of S. Iohn: But the greatest authority we haue in praise of Marriage, is the vnion of Christ with his Church com­pared vnto it: The Bond whereof is the holy Ghost, the contract the Gospell, the Apostles the Registers, all marri­ed men, except S. Iohn and S. Paul: And Iesus Christ sealed it with his Bloud, the betrothing whereof is heere below in the Church, but the wedding it selfe shall be so­lemnized in heauen: It is likewise the originall of all paires, of all couples, Primum par, fundamentum parium saith one, father and childe, maister and seruant, hus­band and wife, all grow out of this first vnion and con­iunction, all kindred and affinity in the world take their birth from this roote, without which men would liue dis­pearsed like sauage beasts and irrationall creatures, with­out distinction or separation of Tribe or family, which are the first parts of a Common-wealth.

CHAP. III. Worldly choyce what it is, or how, for the most part men choose their wiues.

IT is a fashion much in vse in these times to choose wiues as Chapmen sell their wares, with Quantum dabitis? what is the most you will giue? and if their parents, or guar­dians shall reply there vertues are their por­tions, and others haue they none, let them be as dutifull as Sara, as vertuous as Anna, as obedient as the Virgine Mary; these to the wise man, euery one a rich portion, and more pretious then the gold of Ophire, shall be nothing valued, or make vp where wealth is wanting; these may be adiuncts or good additions, but money must be the principall, of all that marry, and (that scope is large) there are but few that vndergoe it for the right end and vse, whereby it comes to passe that many attaine not to the blessednesse therein. Some vndergoe this curse in steed of blessing, meerely for lust chusing their wiues most vnfitly, as Adulteresses, and such are said to marry by the eye, looking no further then a carnall beauty is distingui­shed, which consists in the outward shape and lyneaments of the body, as in gate, gesture, countenance, behauiour, &c. And for such a one so she be faire, and can kisse, she hath portion enough for such a Pirate: but when this flower withers, as it is of no continuance, for diseases blast it, age deuoures it, discontent doth wither it (onely vertue is not foyled by these aduersaries) what shall continue loue as then to the end, there Winter sure shall be full of want, full of discontent, that thus grashopper-like respected their Summer: There are others that marry to ioyne wealth, to wealth, and those are said to marry by the fingers ends: Some others there are that take their wiues from the re­port or good liking of others, and those are said to take [Page 8] their wiues vpon trust, and such I hope are not seldome deceiued in their venture. There are some that marry for continuance of posterity, and those come neerest to the true intent, for the end of marriage is proles, issue; It was the primall blessing, Increase and multiply: God hath gi­uen and bequeathed many Precepts and Commande­ments to mankind, yet of all that euer he deliuered, neuer was there any better obserued (for the letter) then this: Nay, the most part are so ready to accomplish his Will herein, that for hast, many times, they ouerslip the true circumstances thereof, doing it, Propter intentionem, praeter viam, for God requires Liberi, not Spurij; children not bastards; and those that thus increase it, do it more for the manner then the end, more for lust then for loue.

CHAP. IIII. How to choose a good wife from a bad.

THis vndertaking is a matter of some dif­ficulty, for good wiues are many times so like vnto bad, that they are hardly discerned betwixt, they could not other­wise deceiue so many as they do, for the deuill can transforme himselfe into an Angell of Light, the better to draw others into the chaines of darkenesse, so these, his crea­tures, themselues into the shape of honesty, the better to intangle others in the bonds of repentance: If therefore the yoke of marriage be of such perpetuity, and lasting euen Vsque ad naecem, and the ioyes or grieuance thereon depending of equall continuance therwith, either to make a short heauen or hell in this world, is not therefore to bee vndergone but vpon the duest regard, & most aduised con­sideration that may be, and because it is such a sea, wherein so many shipwracke for want of better knowledge and aduise vpon a Rock, that tooke not better counsell in the [Page 9] hauen, I haue therefore, in some sort, to preuent this danger, erected (as it were) certaine Land-markes and di­rections in the way, to giue aime to such passengers as shall héereafter expose themselues to the mercy of this fury, and the rather because our age is so aduenturous, whether boldnes or blindnes be their guid, y^e meere childrē dare vn­dertake with vessels scarce capable to hoyse vp sayle, & ad­uēture those passages, y^e former tunes in their nonage, nere president vs in the like, would haue thought scarce naui­gable, but many times this calme that leads them forth in a sun-shine with pleasure, brings them home in a tempest with sorrow; and therefore (as I said) hee that would not repent him afterwards let him be aduised before, for wise fore-sight for the most part is crowned with happy suc­cesse, therefore say not hereafter (for it is a weake reme­dy) Vtinam saperem, would God I had bene better adui­sed, but be so.

The first aime that I would giue to him, that would aduenture this voyage (for marriage is an aduenture, for whosoeuer marries aduentures, hee aduentures his peace, his freedome, his liberty, his body; yea, and sometimes his soule too) is, that in his election, after hee hath made choice of his wife, which euer I would haue grounded vpon some of these promising likely-hoods, vid. that she be of a sober and milde aspect, courteous behaui­our, decent carriage, of a fixed eye, constant looke, and vnaffected gate, the contrary being oftentimes signes of ill portent and consequence; for as the common saying is, an honest woman dwels at the signe of an honest counte­nance, and wilde lookes (for the most part) accompany wilde conditions; a rowling eye is not fixed, but would fixe vpon obiects it likes, it lookes for, and affected nicety is euer a signe of lasciuious petulancy.

Next regard, according as thine estate and condition shall best instruct thee, the education, and quality, of her thou hast so elected; her personage not being vnrespected, [Page 10] for loue lookes sometimes as well with the eye of the bo­dy, as with the minde, and beauty in some begets affecti­on, and affection augmenteth loue, whereas the contrary would decrease, and diminish it, and so bring thee to a [...]eath [...]d bed, which must be vtterly taken heed of, for the dangerous consequences that follow; therefore, let thy wisedome so gouerne thine affection, that as it ceize not vp deformity to thine owne proper vse, for some sinister respect to be shortly after repented of; so likewise (for the meane is euer best) that it leuell not at so high and abso­lute indowment and perfection, that euery carnall eye shall bethinke thee iniury, that euery Gotish disposition shall leuell to throw open thy inclosures, that thy wife shall bee harder to be kept then the Garden of the Hespe­rides, for as the Italian prouerbe is,

Next after thou hast thus elected thy choyse, and con­sidered her in her selfe, with the aforesaid circumstances, & this one more (not being of his minde that merrily said (speaking of his wife) since he was to make choice out of things that were euill, he thought it most wisedome to choose the least) to regard that shee be not of too dwarfish a size, and kindred, to store thee with a generation of Pigmies, dwarfes, halfe men, that want the Maiesty and power of heigth and strength, and the comlinesse a good stature is for the most part wedded vnto: After this, a little looke backe to the stocke from whence she sprung, for as Ezekiell saith, Like mother, like daughter; and ex­perience and nature approues it, that the fruite will relish of the Tree from whence it sprung, as the Rose is not ga­thered from the Hauthorne, and as his Maiesty well ob­serued, if men be so carefull to haue their horses and dogs of a good bréed, and race, which are onely for exter­nall, [Page 11] and superficiall vses and pleasures, how much more should they then wiues of their owne bosomes, from whom they expect to raise and continue their owne generations and posterities vpon earth, to represent and preserue aliue their owne image and virtues behind them, from generation to generation, vs (que) ad longuinqum, &c.

CHAP. V. What yeares are most conuenient for mariage.

THe forward Virgins of our age are of opi on, that this commodity can neuer be taken vp too soone, and therefore how­soeuer they neglect in other things, they are sure to catch time by the fore-locke in this, if you aske them this question, they will resolue you fouretéene is the best time of their age, if thirteene bee not better then that, and they haue for the most the example of their mo­thers before them, to confirme and approue their ability, and this withall they holde for a certaine ground, that be they neuer so little they are sure thereby to become no lesse; the effects that, for the most part, insue thereafter, are dangerous births, diminution of stature, breuity of life, and such like, yet all these paines will they aduen­ture for this pleasure: Now as these will not stay till their youth, but marry in their childe-hood, before either bloud, or affection rypen them thereto by their earely forward­nesse, so are their others that as much offend in the con­trary, by passing ouer their youth for certaine cautiona­ry worldly respects, to salute this society with their age, like to him that hath suffered his house to burne downe to the bottome, before hee would séeke to extinguish the flame, when the other, as néedlesly forward, as he foolish­ly slow, throwes on water ere any fire come néere it; the extremity in both is vtterly distastfull, and as I haue al­ready [Page 12] shewed briefly the indiscretion in either, so I might thus continue it further along in the first: that such should take vpon them to gouerne others that (which as may well appeare in this) know not yet how to gouerne them­selues; the latter, that they vtterly abandon the right vse of marriage, for if the chiefe end thereof be propagation and encrease, both for the Kingdome of earth and heauen, why then do they deferre so long till their bloud be frosty, and their bones be empty, their lamps bée wasted, and their spirits consumed, hiding in the earth their talents from vse, which might haue béene otherwise multiplyed by a lawfull vsury, to a happy encrease and excellent end, and therefore worthy such of their iust reward, which is (for the most part) to perish in themselues as the last of their name and posterity vpon earth.

Diogenes being asked what time of a mans life was best to marry, answered in youth it was too soone, and in age it was too late, cynically insinuating thereby that it was best neuer: Indéed some of our infortunate con­iunctions, might haue béene happy embracing his coun­sell, when Planets of maleuolent aspect and influence are vnfortunately howsed, like two opposite poysons in a stomacke, one euer sicke of of another, fearefully porten­ding their owne destruction and ruine; yet not to discom­fort any that are to enter héerein, the best good and most absolute perfection that euer was in the world, and most generall, neuer did all participate in the fruition thereof, although the greatest number did; God gaue sight to all, yet all pertake not the benefite thereof, health to all, yet some are daily incumbred with sicknesses, limbes to all, yet some wée sée are decrepit and lame, although the most inioy them, these infirmities hauing in their being rather deficient then efficient causes, for God created not blind­nesse, lamenesse, sickenesse, or such like, but the depri­uation of their better opposites, is the cause of their producement and effect: So likewise in marriage, [Page 13] God gaue a generall blessing to the first institution and vse thereof, Hée blest it by his Word, hée honoured it by his presence, hée confirmed it by his miracles, where hée turned water into wine, to shew that those that celebrate it in the right manner, to the lawfull and true end, shall haue their sorrow turned into ioy, their water into wine; but the contrary, their ioy into sorrow, that is, their wine into water.

One saith, wiues are yong mens Mistresses, compani­ons for middle-age, and old mens Nurses, so that a man may haue a quarrell to marry when hée will: But the A­postle saith héere, Reioyce in the wife of thy youth: As thereby hée would point out the fittest time; In thy youth whilst thou hast bloud in thy veines, & marrow in thy bones, health in thy loynes, and security in thy suffi­ency, when thou maist beget an off-spring, and by course of time be so blest, as to sée thy childrens children ingraf­ted into the Church, and Common-wealth, in honoura­ble Offices, and Functions, to thy peace of conscience, and quietnesse in thy last Dimittis: Late repentance, they say, is seldome true repentance; and it is obseruable, that in these late marriages is seldome found that true comfort and happinesse, which it is crowned withall in due season, therefore beginne not the world, diuide not thy selfe, thy loue, when thou art going out of the world.

CHAP. VI. That conueniency and fitnesse in choyse, is more to be re­garded, then either beauty, riches, or any other additi­on, of minde or fortune.

IN this one, and absolute greatest action of a mans whole life, men, for the most part, are ei­ther so carelesse, in their will, or so blinded in their iudgement, or so carried away by affection, that they regard not that which most materially concerneth [Page 14] the peace, the welfare, and felicity of their whole life and conseruation therein; for their eye, for the most part, ei­ther ceizeth vpon beauty, and those are such that choose an Apple for the red side, as the serpent deceiued Eue, which afterwards in the taste sets the téeth on edge: or the heart vpon riches, and they are rather married to the substance then the owner: Some againe marry for gentility, not respecting their owne ignobility, and basenesse, which for the most part, it vpbraideth them with all their life long; and though all of these are ioyned by the King (the Em­bleme of Wedlocke) yet few vnderstand the Morall thereof, which is a representary fitnesse to bée respected: I meane not equality or fitnesse of stature, for the more equall coniunction and action, but a fitnesse in affection, for as that being either too bigge, or too little, pincheth the finger or stayeth not on, so where this equality doth not sympathie in affection there is either a falling off from the bond of this duty, or a shrinking vp of the ioy and felici­ty therein: The chollericke man, which for some out­ward respect, maketh this his expected heauen a hell, by vnaptly conioyning vnto himselfe prouocation and impa­tience, euer to kindle that fire a fresh which of it selfe con­sumes without further addition, the very peace, and tran­quility, life, and spirit, of soule and body, when as hée should rather haue elected, as an allayer to this fury meekenesse, and indurance, such alenitiues, as should rather haue wasted the malady, then augmented the mise­ry; for what concord, or society, can bee expected to bée inioyde, when natures, more repugnant then the Ele­ments, are ioyned in one: frée spirits, with miser dispositi­ons, where they graple and tugge without ease and re­leasement, for breath and liberty: Heroycall thoughts with dull affections, where there is no correspondence to there height or eleuation: Knowledge with ignorance, where there is no zeale to communicate; and age with youth, where there is no desire of inioyment, preuenting [Page 15] the good by some blind inducement, which either might haue claimed by their likely-hood, in more sutable fitnesse, bearing the yoke with repining and displeasure, as pressing too heauily, which otherwise might haue béene supported with ease and delight, as scarce tasted or felt, Therefore (who euer thou art) know this in thy choyce, that wouldst for bondage aduenture thy fréedome; that euery good woman, makes not for euery man a good wife, no otherwise then some one good dish digesteth with eue­ry stomacke: therefore as for thy Trade thou wilt choose a fit seruant, for thy stomacke a fit diet, for thy body fit cloathing, so for thy inseparable, daily, nightly society, choose a fit companion, according to the Poets rule, in a lesser sence.

The Thiefe for his Burglaries takes his fittest opor­tunity and society: The Husbandman his seasons for his Séed time and Haruest: The Lawyer the aduantage of Assizes and Termes, The Marchant for aduenture the Tide and the Winds, and all these the fitnesse befriendeth the endeuour, and shall the husband then thinke to esta­blish his purpose, his peace, so great, and so greatly there­on depending, without this vigilancy and obseruance: The old rule will teach him new wit, in this aptnesse, which saith:

Art thou a remnant of the age of some mispended youth, fallen from the badge of one basenesse to another, [Page 16] as frowned out of some conuenient Maisters fauour, for not pleasing thy Mistresse, that now to support thy crea­ture, wouldst smoake thée out a liuing in some blind and conscious corner, smell thée then a wife out a little tain­ted, the swéeter for thy purpose, and as apt to fall downe as thy vapour to flie vp, taking care, (vnlesse thou wilt disranke thy selfe, or single out from the too too common shame and abuse in this kind) that shée bée such a one as can take it, and being light can light it.

Art thou a Marchant, a Marriner, a Termer, choose thée a wife of some Phlegmaticke humour, that like a rich Creditor, with her large stocke of vertue, without brea­king out, can forbeare thée, vpon occasion, a month or two, a yeare or two, a Tearme, or voyage, least other­wise thou abroad, shée prooue an Actor with thy Factor at home, or for thée, whilst thou labours for this right in this case, do against thée that wrong in another, which no law can helpe, nor preuention hinder, nor patience beare; if otherwise, though thou escape the perils of the sea, thou art in danger of the Pirates of the Land; or thou, though thou get a iudgement at the Hall, shalt be sure to haue exe­cution against thée at home: And from whence else pro­céedes these lamentable [...]arres of housholds, worse then the open warres of Kingdomes, that deuoure and eate vp whole families: Whence procéeds these separations, ex­clamations, disiunctions; whence arise they, but exhaled and drawne vp with the heate of this parabolicall sunne, (the muck and mammon of the world) the beames where­of blinde the eye sometimes of conscience, as well of vn­derstanding and iudgement: whose conioyning of hands may resemble the league betwéene the Low Countries & Spaine, where hearts can no more bée brought to vnity and affection one another, then those euer vowed enemies thus taken truce: These respects I say, like that respect of state, and no other, haue prostituted, vnder one couering, many a frosty Ianuary, and youthfull May, many a greene [Page 17] desire and gray performance, which could no more coha­bite then these different seasons, otherwise aforehand meant, and afterwards satisfied, though with a shamefull breaking out, to the ruine and destruction of both the one, and the other; Meere Croanes, and many of my late re­membrance, lip-bearded, as wiches, with their warted an­tiquity and age, haue angled into their beds with this bayted golden hooke, (for luker of desire and lust) on their parties, youth whose chinnes haue neuer yet fallen vnder the razor, lesse that way by their heate and haire, expres­sing man then their wiues, (wiues) nay rather Matrons, and Mothers, to their children prostituted, the shame and vneuennesse whereof hath euen crackt this fore­mentioned wreath in the ring, broke Pryscians head in the vnequall coniugations, the destruction whereof hath not slowly followed, but thus quickly, (like a Gangrene) crept on by a carelesse neglect in the one, and earnest de­sire in the other, and a timely repentance in both: The one thus (to his precedent aime) the better supported to his wilde pleasures a broad, whilst the other, with her fru­strated intention and hope, all tame and penitentiary, left destitute to bewaile her grieuance at home. But go fur­ther, admit impossibilities, that Age and Youth, Sum­mer, and Winter could bée one, yet how would the Au­tumne with her tempests blast the Summer, and her tender buddes of that season, and Summer, againe, con­tradicting her contrary melting, her snowes and frosts in­to nothing, what panges and trauels, and throbbes, and throwes, would they sustaine one with the other, till they brought an end and confusion to both: euen so admit, that youth could assume such a habite of grauity that might like an age, and age againe so shake off her vnnessa­ries, that shée could looke amiable in the fresh and greene eye of youth; yet must this mixture of vnequall heales bée more pernitious to either, then those blasting contrary seasons one to another: From these vnequall coniuncti­ons [Page 18] breake forth those maisterfull iealousies, those insup­portable discontents, that haue not set but euen in bloud and death, ruined their owners, afflicted and wrung in­to lamentations, their Friends, Allies, and Associates, and drawne bloud from the heart of any one that had but a hand or finger in the carriage: Many instances of these we know of late times which we may remember, whilst I ouerpasse them to recite one of more antiquity, as it is deliuered by Tradition.

Stowes Suruey.An Aldermans wife, sometimes of London, her hus­band deceased, and shée a rich widdow left, but as old in yeares, as rich in substance (more for desire of portion then person) was solicited to an vnequall banes and mar­riage, by a yong and courtly Gentlemen (and which af­terwards ended her bane) whose desire being obtained, and hée maister of her substance, most leudly lauished it away vpon royotous and euill company, grew carelesse of her regard, and vtterly abandoned her society, both bed and boord, which when with sorrow shée perceiued, with her too late repentance, her selfe thus rifled of her goods, vpbraided of her friends, forsaken of her husband, desti­tute of all comfort, shée tooke the euening to her mour­ning, went into a Spring néere Shore ditch (a place that takes the name from a like fatall accident) and there ended her daies, and sorrowes by drowning, which Fount to this day is christned by her name, a remembrance of her misery, and warning to aftertimes, and called (by her name) Dame Annis a Clere. And therefore who euer thou art, entering into this common garden of humanity, re­spect for thy better blessing and prosperity therein, more then Beauty, Birth, or Riches, this Harmony and fitnesse, wherein is no iarre, no strife, no discontent, nor wearinesse, and which shall land thée prosperously at the hauen of thy rest, when this other, either tackling, fraught, or sayle, may indanger to perish thée in the floud.

CHAP. VII. What is that chiefe moath, and canker, that especially vn­dermineth and fretteth the marriage bed.

PRide, Ambition, equality with others, the Example of others, variety of Appetite, the vnrealishnesse of that which is lawfull, de­sire of that which is restrained, is vnlawfull, and then the oratory of the diuell of darke­nesse, in the shape of an Angell of light, working vpon these aduantages hath ouerthrowne, and betrayed, to this vulture, and his mercilesse talant, that fort and Cittadell, with as easy resistencie as a Bower of glasse, that should be so vnspotted, but more impregnable then a Bulwarke of stone, admitted treason to the heart of the Citty, copt with the most dangerous enemy in the world, opened those gates with weakenesse, and this stratageme, that an Engine should not assayle with strength, and might, broke downe the dore that struck dead the owner, layed open those inclosures, that haue bondaged the Lord of the soyle perpetually till death, to enclose his owne supposed interest and vse: Ambition and pride you twyn-borne sisters, you, you it is, and the dependancy of your estate (you true and indulcitate yssues of Lucifer) that haue broken downe this hedge of the greatest consequence and site that euer was erected, and which else had kept out the assayling and seducing ene­mies that batter and vndermine the very supportance, roote, and life-bloud of chastity it selfe, letting in at these casements, euill conceits, and motiues more blasting thereto, then the breath of lightning, made the vowes of marrriage of lesse stability then the oathes of drunken men. Ambition, equality, example, you fore-mentioned euils, you foote-ball players which short-héeled creatures it is you that are arraigned & found guilty in this tryall.

[Page 20]The Countrey Damsell vnder the thacht roofe of her naturall habitation, where she scarce euer thought of so much pride as handsomnesse, neuer beheld her how other­wise presented then in a bowle of water, that dreamed more deuoutlier vnder that innocent couering being asleepe, then others pray in their lofty Pallaces being awake, who can scarce there remember marriage but shee blushes to thinke what a shame it is to lye with a man: yet afterwards bring her to the Citty, enter her into that schoole of vanity, set but example before her eyes, shée shall in time become a new creature, and such a strong mutati­on shall so strangely possesse her, that shée shall haue new thoughts, new purposes, and resolutions, and in the end so shoulder out her modesty, that shée shall not blush to do that vnlawfully, which before shée was bashfull to thinke on lawfully: Come to the Citty, there you shall haue some good amongst many bad, but should haue ma­ny more were it not for this sickenesse of this ill Example, therefore well were it with the world, If what were most done, were most good: Such a one could bée content (for any desire of nouelty or change, or for any heate in her bloud, more then might bee lawfully allayed) to be honest, but that shee knowes such a friend, and such a Gentlewo­man her Gossip, haue their variety of Gownes, of giftes, of fauours, and variety of pleasures to, interchanging with variety of persons, and in this regard shée will bee no longer her owne foe, to kéepe her selfe longer without such a friend, shée sees the world takes notice of no more then it sees, and they are accounted most chaste, that can best seeme so: In this resolution shée puls vp the Flood­gates, where her tyde of vanity is swelled to the brimme, which immediately ore-flowes and drownes her therein, extinguishing all former sparkes of vertue and respect, which before this conquest shée debated with, and beares her along with the perishing multitude, for these brittle respects, that héere shée is insnared with.

[Page 21]The Court, the very Element and Center of these sinnes, the ne plus vltra, for any example beyond that, being the patterne to it selfe, and to others, the respects that ioyne there, are the respects of pleasure, not of profite; the hyghest ambition of theirs is to be most allured, most desired, to haue most seruants, most friends, most fa­uours, and these should presage most falles, whose open out sides bosomes, were their insides so displayed, it would bée found a poore and idle sinne had not there béene harboured, whose sattin out-sides, and silken insides, soft rayment and swéete feeding, so stroake the skinne, and per­swade the bloud that it will not bee perswaded.

There is a Text in woman, that I would faine haue woman to expound, or man either; to what end is the lay­ing out of the embrodred haire, embared breasts, virmi­lioned chéekes, alluring lookes, fashion gates, and Artfull countenances, effeminate, intangling, and insnaring ge­stures, their curles and purles of proclaiming petulan­cies, boulstred, and layed out with such example and au­thority in these our daies, as with allowance and besee­ming conueniency, such apish fashions and follies, that the more seuerer out-worne ages of the world, deceased and gone, should they haue but lifted vp their head and in their times would haue hyssed out of countenance to death: But as to please, woman hath much starched vp man from his slouenry, so to delight man (or rather his ene­my) hath the woman thus increased in prides, doth the world waxe barren through decrease of generations, and become like the earth, lesse fruitfull then heeretofore: Doth the bloud loose his heate, or the Sunne-beames become more watrish and lesse feruent then formerly they haue béene, that men should be thus inflamed and perswaded on to lust: or hath this age of sinne vsurped such a séeming purity, or thought, that the most licensed lust, hath the originall from concupisence or some taint of sinne, and therefore must bée thus dragged vp to this anchor, like a [Page 22] Pitcher by the eares, by these bloud neare-touching wit­cheries, and inducements, no, rather the contrary witnesse the superfluity and increase of these our times, of this our Kingdome, that hath more people then pasture, more bringing forth then breeding, for that it is compelled to empty it selfe into farre distant Regions and Kingdomes: Is it not rather the contrary, when the youth of both sexes are daily cropt in the blossome by this forward motion, or rather head-strong deuill, and vnripely prest to that action, forestalling maturity and fitnesse, where a Vestall should bée more pointed at in a Cloyster, then a Comet in the Aire: Is it not rather the contrary, when lust is growne so vnbounded, so head-strong, that it will not bee hemm'd nor incircled within any Lawes, or limites, of God, or man; when it will garbadge without all respect, or controule, vpon Adultery, fornication, possest, the vn­possest, the bond, the free; where care shall more possesse a man to keepe his faire wife from foule play, when hee hath her, then iealousy did to loose her, when hee first ri­ual'd for her; where vertue shall not so disguise it selfe in any habite, but vice will trace it out and betray it. The ignorant Papists, or other sectaries of Heresies, most commonly giue no other reason for their seduced errors, then example of multitude, of parents, progenitors, or friends that went before them; so the example of this euill, so common, so much made of, so cockred, so thriuing, so bedecked, so admired, so dandled on the lap of Greatnesse, of Authority, drawes millions to perdition after it, for the greatest part neuer looke further then the example of the greatest number; the Coach easily runnes that is drawne wtth many horses, soone followes one where thou­sands leade the way: These haue disioyned in chambers by the deuill, that were conioyned in the Church by God, and yet it must be ingenuously confest, it is but a cold comfort, to goe to hote hell for company: Lust, that boy­ling damned putrefaction of the bloud, that raging, ruling, [Page 23] headstrong sinne of this age, that is too apt to breake out, though it went cloathed in Sacke-cloth, and Hairecloath, and fed onely (as saith an Authour) with the Capuchin dyet of grasse and hearbes, and such like, and supprest with all the subiection can be imposed to subdue it, that yet like lime it would flash and flie out through out all these impositions: but on the contrary, we are so far from subduing that passion, and keeping it vnder, by any such meanes, that it is attired and set out in the most Artfull bewitching, and inticing temptation that may be deuised, whole daies and nights, and thoughts and studies, and costs and cares, cast away thereon, for the better successe therein, though the worse ill thereby, for the end thereof is but repentance and sorrow.

Another maine enemy, to open this breach, is impati­ence of restraint and limitation, for that which is most forbidden is most desired; Hee is the old deuill that still tempts in that likenesse that came to Eue in Paradise, and perswaded her to eate the forbidden fruite of the Tree of knowledge of good and euill, vpon whom he obtained such a victory and conquest, in that first battell that euer was fought, that neuer since hath he distrusted the force of that stratageme: Euery woman is an abridgement of all woman-kind, containes the shape, the proportion, the lyniaments, the members, the vse of all the women in the world, and likewise so of man; why should not de­sire then, being so linked in the most sufficient, and wisest allowance, that God and man thought meete, couch and submit it selfe to these ordinances, but that concupiscence and lust, inkindle desire, and it findeth not delight in that it hath, but in that it would haue, according as the Poet ve­rifyeth.

[Page 24]It lookes out of the window, where fuell is admini­stred where temptation entreth in: edgeth it selfe vpon one for respects that it can conceiue but not vtter; vpon an other, for some thing it likes, but knowes not what; It makes choyce of a third, for modesty baites his lust in that flame, to thinke with what lookes it could looke in con­clusion, that is so fiered with blushes in but proffered, concerning circumstances, though farre distant and re­mote from either time or action: Vpon a fourth, for her quaint conceite, and discouers by debating how she could vse it, being put to her non plus, in the bare point of try­all, with the beauty of a fift, to conceiue what a large fruition it were to be inflamed on the promontory of the Hill, when the demeanes, and adiacent Vallies, to that fuller surfet, restrained not their shades nor fountaines: And indeed, to conclude, there is none so ugly, none so deformed, but Lust will finde argument to make vse of it, may it but haue meanes to enioy it.

CHAP. VIII. Aduice for choice, and whether it be best to marry a Wid­dow, or a Maide.

HEe that marryeth a Widdow, hath but a re­uersion in taile, and if she proue good, may thanke death for his aime, if euill, vpbraide him, and not vniustly for his occasion: He that takes her thus halfe-worne, makes ac­count shee hath that will pay for new dres­sing, shee seemes to promise security in her peace, yet in­uites many times to a troublesome estate, when the con­quest atchieued scarce counteruailes the warres, the prin­cipall of her loue is perished with the vse, for what is once firmely set on, can neuer be cleanly taken off, and he must nere looke to bee enriched that way that hath her. The end of her Marriage is lust and ease, more then affection [Page 25] or loue, and deserue what thou canst, the dead shall vp­braide thee by the helpe of her tongue, flattered behind his backe, the more to vexe thee to thy face: The best is, though the worse for thee, they are nauigable without difficulty, more passable then Virginia, and lye at an easi­er Rode, as vnsatiate as the sea, or rather the graue, which many times y^e sooner presents them thether: At the decease of their first husbands, they learne commonly y^e trickes to turne ouer the second or third, and they are in league with death, and coadiutors with him, for they can harden their owne hearts like iron to breake others that are but earth; and I like them the worse that they will marry, dislike them vtterly they marry so soone, for shee that so soone forgets the flower and Bride-groome of her youth, her first loue and prime of affection (which like a colour layed on in Oyle, or dyed in graine, should cleaue fast and weare long) will hardly thinke of a second in the neglect and de­cay of her age. Many presidents wee haue against these suddaine, nay against these second Marriages deriued from former times, the ages of more constancy, and shame of these latter. The daughter of M. Cato, beway­ling a long time the death of her husband, being asked which day should haue her last teare, answered the day of her death (not the end of a month or yeare) for (saith shée) should I méete with a good husband, as I had before, I should euer bée in feare to loose him, if with a bad one, I were better be without him. In like manner, Portia, a yong and honourable Lady, hauing lost her husband, answered, solicited by another, A happy and chaste Matrone neuer marries but once. Valeria, hauing lost her husband, importuned by another, answered; My husband euer liues in my thoughts. Arthemesia, the wife of Mausoll King of Corinth, could not not bée brought to any such action, but still answered, being mindefull of her husband deceased, Vpon thy pillow shall neuer second rest his head; Shée dyed a widdow, and in memory of her husband, ere­cted [Page 26] that Monument, or Tombe, the cost and fame where­of hath ouerspread the world: which Wife and Monu­ment, Lucinius thus further commendeth.

Such a Widdow couldst thou marry shée were worthy thy choyce, but such a one shee could not bee, because shee would not then marry.

Compare the loyalty of our times with those of more ancient, and sée how they equall thy conscience and car­kase breaking, how with thy piled vp chestes, they build monuments of remembrances to thy name and memory after death; nay rather obserue, but how their ambition, thus heated makes them forgetfull of themselues as well as thee: Knowing this, who would not, with these di­straughted times, to leaue the purchase of a Ladiship to his wife, glide like a shadow in his life vpon earth, with a [Page 27] shrinking inside, and penurious out-side, and sléepe with broken thoughts and distracted dreames to gather with paine, and forbeare with want, that which his liuing ene­my may afterwards spend with pleasure and surfet with fulnesse. Who can loue those liuing that he knowes will so soone forget him being dead, that are but Summer Swallowes for the time of felicity, that will hang about ones necke as if they had neuer armes for others embra­cing, or as though extreame affection without controule could not but this manifest it selfe and breake out; yet de­cease, and such a lethe of forgetfulnesse shall so soone or [...] ­rake thée as if thou hadst neuer beene, nay so little a quan­tity of time shall confine it, that shee shall not lie in her month but shée shall bée Churched againe, and open to an­other all thy fruitions, with as fresh and plenteous an ap­petite as the harlot to her next sinner. Yonger brothers, and poore Knights, may sometimes to these monsters make vse of their byrths and Titles, making them pay déere (as it cost) for their dubbing, and release of Purga­tory they are in with old ranke and fashion to their new Eliseum, and instaulement; and it must be confest, vnwise they were, but with good boote and addition, to refuse a Virginity to accept a Widdow-hood, and yet many times with a Turkish fate, wée pay déere for our Credo quod ha­bemus, that article of Beliefe we too fondly build vpon, when wée pay for the iewell that another hath stollen, and in hope of treasure imbrace y^e ransackt casket, yet they are too blame that haue thus béene to blame, and for their ea­sy punishment their first night shall discouer them. Bee not suddaine therefore vpon thy resolution in this point, because deceite, many times, lurkes in a modest face, but let long acquaintance, or inquiry, y^e more secure thee. The Country deceiues the Citty, & the Citty againe returnes it with interest, and lust so raignes in both, that there is scarce y^e quantity of virgins to be found in either to match the Parable in the Scripture; they haue faces more fairer [Page 28] then men, but hearts more deformed then deuils: It is ill building vpon a broken foundation, amendment may skinne the soare, but the scarce will long after retaine a blemish, yet no doubt free thought, which is frée, and dreames and wishes, which are but shadowes, though the rilling ruffians that break through all bosomes, & superfici­ally rauish all woman kinde, from eight to eighty, and no doubt from actuall transgressions many may be found frée, for there was neuer infection so generall but it spared some, neuer battell so great that all were wounded, some of Eues Off-spring haue withstood the temptation, all haue not tasted the forbidden Trée; and such a one if thou canst pray, to prey vpon, she hath portion enough without other portion if shée thus continue it, for shée shall make thee a father of vndoubted children, shee shall not wrinkle thy thoughts with distracting iealousies, nor vpbraide with a former husband thy vnkindnesses; her Mayden thoughts shall receiue from thee a more perfect impression of loue and duty, and returne it backe more legibly indor­sed and written, frée from all former character, inscripti­on, or soyle; her affection shall be strong, not allayed by former wearing, shee shall bée such a one as it is a heauen to liue with all, a mysery to mourne without, shée shall bée to thy sences and delight as the budding Rose in the youth of the spring, nay shall be such a one, that, Hee that walkes by thy dore shall point at her, and hee that dwels by her shall enuy him that hath her, and euery man shall admire his hap, but he most fully reioyce and be glad that hath her, and all generations shall call such blessed.

CHAP. IX. Since the end of Marriage is issue, whether it be lawfull for old Couples to marry that are past hope of Children, or whether it be lawfull, for an old man to marry a yong Maide, or the contrary.

THe chiefe end of Marriage is proles, Issue, yet there are other respects in that coue­nant, that no doubt may tollerate the most ancient in this kinde: God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone therefore hée made him an helper, and Saint Paul saith, Rather marry then burne, and as it is in another place; Vae solus: Woe to him that is alone, for if hee fall hee hath not one to helpe him vp: Now those in age, to come nee­rest to a common and sub-correctiue vnderstanding, are most defectiue in their members, and therefore most sub­iect to fall, and so by consequence most need of this helpe to raise them vp, of this staffe for their stay, and besides for ought that euer I could heare, or obserue, that age is most proue to scortch it selfe in the flames of that fire, and therefore may lawfully pertake the remedy against it, and for the latter proposition, for ought I sée, the Law forbids not the act, But the circumstances may breed some dan­ger, for if the wife be yong enough, though the husband be nere so decrepit, shee shall not bee out of all likely-hood to sée encrease of her body, but hee that thus vndertakes to mannage in his age, what hath shaked the heart of youth, may be commended for his valour, but shall nere be crow­ned for his wisedome; And for such a one (I trust) hee shall not need to bee iealous, for that his doubt shall bee apparantly enough resolued. One asked Diogenes, vpon a time, for some direction how to choose a wife, because hee was a Phylosopher, saith he vnto him, fellow, choose one without a head (if thou canst) without a body, and with­out [Page 30] lims, so her hands shall not offend in striking, nor her tongue in rayling, nor her body in lusting: Another time seeing a man in his olde age going to Church, to make vp his second Marriage, said; O foole, hast thou so lately beene shipwracked, and wilt needs to sea againe. The Law of God, nor man, doth not forbid such Marriages, but no pollicy in earth commends them; man & wife should be two in one: but can heate & cold, youth & age, be in one and not bee repugnant, hee that aduentures so for sweete meates, shall finde them relished with much bitter sauce, they say the Oake would longer last, were it not for the intwyning and embracing Iuy, but in this case I entend the contrary, for the aged Oake here blasteth the yonger, Iuy with the heate of youth, must againe renue, accor­ding to our Poet.

Many worldly respects may conioyne these Marri­ages, but this sudor will cracke in the wearing, and he that so old seekes for a nurse so yong, shall haue pappe with a Hatchet for his comfort.

CHAP. X. The difference betweene Loue and Lust.

LVst, the destroyer of Loue, the supplan­ter and vnder-myner of chastity, the Spring-frost of beauty, the tyrant of the night, the enemy of the day, the most potent match-maker in all Marri­ages vnder thirty, and the chiefe breaker of all from eighteene to eight, that pro­tests that in a hote bloud that it nere performes in a cold, a regarder onely of the present, and to that effect will with [Page 31] Esau sell a birthright for a messe of pottage, no longer esteeming the obiect then the vse, which in like example is thus further followed, according to a more common ob­seruance.

More dangerous, when it roues without lymites, then the Lyon without the verge of his grate; for he but onely would depriue the body of life, but this both of life and soule, and fame, subiect to more opposite immediate passi­ons and contradictions in it selfe then any sence or humour in the nature of man: as now well entreated, fairely spo­ken, lodged where it best likes, anon hated without en­during, curst ont of charity, thrust out of dores, and yet not onely though all this more immediately opposite, then preposterously fondly headlong, that for a minutes ioy, will incurre a months sorrow, that for one drop of water will mud the whole fountaine that gaue it, for one sweete fruite will blast the whole Tree that bare it; whereas the effect and force of loue is contrary, opressing folly, suppres­sing fury; aiming to preserue, not to destroy, and to that end, regards the end, by subduing passions and motiues that would seeme to oppose the tranquility thereof, and in conclusion reioyceth in the true fruition without discon­tent, without satiety, hauing captiuated and subdued, though with some difficulty, those passions that sence for a time would haue beene best pleased with, to tryumph at last in more full fruition to that purpose that one thus writeth.

In Loue there is no enuy, no iealousy, no discontent, no wearinesse, for it digesteth and maketh sweete the har­dest labour, and of all things doth the neerest resemble the Diuine Nature, for God is Loue, it hath in it vnity without diuision, for true loue hath not many obiects, it is a fire much water cannot quench: Now Lust contradicteth all these, for whereas Loue is bounded with easy lymites, Lust is more spacious, hath no meane, no bound, but not to be at all, more deepe, more dangerous then y^e Sea, & lesse restrayned, for the Sea hath bounds, but it hath none; not woman but all woman-kind is the range thereof, and all that whole sect not able to quench it neither: Full of enuy it is, for it enuies all without his reach, and enuies it owne nature that it cannot be satisfied: walking for the most part in similitude of an old Goate, in the shape of an incontinent man.

In Loue there is no lacke, in Lust there is the greatest penury, for though it be cloyed with too much, it pines for want: Ambitious it is, for where it treades it puffes vp, and leaues a swelling after it, turnes low flattes into little Mountaines downe, which precipitate folly tumbles headlong to confusion, a hasty breeder of disinheritable sinners it is, such as haue more pleasure in the begetting, then comfort in the bringing forth, best contented when it looseth most labour. To conclude, though Loue and Lust in a halfe brother-hood, dwell both vnder one roofe, yet so opposite they are that the one, most commonly, burnes downe the house that the other would build vp.

CHAP. XI. The best way to continue a woman chaste.

IS not the Magitians Ring, nor the Italians Locke, nor a continuall Iealousy euer watching ouer her, nor to humour her will in idle fancies, adorne her with new fan­gels, (as the well appayed folly of the world in this kinde can witnesse) but for him that would not be basely madde with the multitude, would not bespeake folly to Crowne him, would not set that to sale that hee would not haue sold, for who sets out his ware to be cheapned and not bought, that would not for his Shop haue his Wife, for a relatiue signe) is to adorne her decently, not dotingly; thriftily, not laciui­ously; to loue her seriously, not ceremoniously; to walke before her in good example (for otherwise how canst thou require that of thy wife that thou art not, wilt not be thy selfe, Vis tu vxorem tuam victricem esse & tu victus ia­ces: Wouldst thou expect thy wife a conquerour when thou thy selfe liest foyled at the same weapon) to acquaint her with, and place about her good and chaste society, to busy and apply her mind and body, in some domesticke, conuenient, and profitable exercises, according to her education and calling, for example to the frailty of that whole sexe, hath a powerfull hand, as it shall induce either to good or euill.

There are of opinion that there is in Marriage an in­euitable desteny, not to be auoyded which is either to be Acteon'd, or not to bee, if it bee not, as is the opinion of some damned in the errour of Predestination, then let him take a house in Fleete-streete, diuide it like an Inne, into as many seuerall lodgings as roomes, make his wife Chamberlaine to them all, attire her like a sacrifice, paint her out like a Mayors posts, or May-poole, let her haue [Page 34] fresh youth and high féeding, lustfull company to incite her, her husband absent: all these opportunities present, yet notwithstanding this desteny shall preserue him, to weare his brow as sleeke, as hée that neare fetched againe the lost ribbe to his side, as vnbunched as the front of a Batchelour; But if the contrary, bee shee the most pure in seeming, a very sister of that Sect, the opinion of the B [...]ownists shall so neere cleaue to her skinne, that shée shall besate thy forehead in thy sleepe, kill thee dead in that image of thy graue; Bee shee Papist, absolution shall so resolue her, that shee shall sinne vpon presumption, nay though thou hadst Argus eyes thou shalt not escape it, for

Bee shee what shee will in this case, it shall bee all one for thee to restraine or to giue liberty, where thou dwellest or what thou doest, for thy desteny is so allotted and it shall be accomplished: The rash opinion, and carelesse se­curity of either is worthy the reward, which for the most part, it doth deseruedly receiue.

It was an errour in Religion that one Ludouicus had, who had giuen himselfe ouer to this damnable opinion and security of the deuill, that if he were ordained to bee saued, saued hee should bee without any enquiry or dilli­gence of his; if otherwise, though hee toyled to death in his best endeuour, it would not helpe nor reserue him; In this conceite, setling himselfe in the most Epicurian and disolute course of liuing that might bee, hee continued, till vpon a time hee fell into a most grieuous extremity of sickenesse, when sending for a Physitian, who before hand acquainted with his damnable errour, came not, but sent him word that hee needed not his helpe, for if his houre were come he could not preserue him, if otherwise, hee should recouer though neuer any thing were admini­stred [Page 35] vnto him; by which easy application hee vnderstood himselfe, and that he must vse the best meanes and ende­uour, as well for the safety of his soule, as the preseruati­on of his body, not knowing the euent of their concealed ends, and so at once (by that meanes) was happily cured both in minde and body.

In no lesse palpable errour are those, that so wittingly and violently, are carried on either side in this dangerous streame of a corrupted iudgement to the apparantest spectacle and certaintest shame that woman may do them, making that vnquestionable their dishonour by this con­sequence, which a sober course might haue directed to a more certaine end, Therefore who euer thou art that wouldst not winke at such a shame, that so profite doth succéed, wouldst not regard whether hand brought it in, vse a good indeuour, such foresight and warinesse as may prouide for competency, preuent indigence and want two great allayers of affection, and a maine inciter of im­patient bearers to this folly and abuse, and aboue all séek to plant in her Religion, for so shee cannot loue God but withall shee must honour thee, increase her knowledge in good things, and giue her certaine assurance and testi­mony of thy loue, that she may with hers againe the more reciprocally equall thy affection; For true loue hath no power to thinke, much lesse act amisse: And these dis­creetely put in practise shall more preserue at all times, and temptations, then Spies, or Eyes, Iealousie or any restraint, for these sometimes may bee deluded, or ouer watched, or preuented by oportunity, but this neuer.

CHAP. XII. The patterne of a bad husband, and a good wife, in two Letters instanced.

CHAP. XIII. An admonition to Husbands and Wiues for vnity and concord.

IN that you are bound, you must obey, for this knot can neither bee cut nor vnloosed, but by death, therefore as wise prisoners inclosed in narrow roomes sute their mindes to their li­mites, and not impatient they can go no further, aug­ment their paine by knocking their heads against the walles, so should it bee the wisedome both of Husbands and Wiues, that haue vndergone either this curse, or blessing, as the successe or vse may make it vnto them, to beare it with patience and content the asswager of all maladies, and misfortunes, and not to storme against that which will but the deeper plunge them in their owne misery: For what madnesse were it for any one to crosse himselfe daily, because another hath crossed him once? or because another hath vexed him, therefore to vexe him­selfe? Who is so weake in discretion, that by some disaster hauing blemished one eye, for griefe thereof, will weepe out the other. That mother tries a mercilesse conclusion:

Therefore séeing it is so, whosoeuer thou art in this dis­aster, séeke to plant an affection and loue, at least wise a pa­tience to that which must of necessity bee endured: for there is nothing so easie that the want of this may not make hard: nor nothing so harsh that this may not better temper: there are many occasions that this age admini­streth more then former haue done of the vse of this ar­mor, (though all other rust by the walles of peace) intro­duced by the ouer-curious respects of secondary causes by secndary persons, that for these vses perish the principall, by ioyning hands where hearts are more dis-iunctiue then different sectaries: and what is the issue of this but a wea­ry patience, or sudden destruction. Others conioyne them selues by vntimely folly, and these many times haue a timely repentance when pleasures ebbe, and sorrowes be­gin to flow. As for instance, a youth of able meanes, hope­full expectation, equall carriage, regardfully befriended, carefully watched ouer, purposed to better destiny, pric­ked on by some rebellious bloud, and guilty oportunity, strikes downe all these hopes in the heat of his lust, with a greasy Kitchin-weneh in a corner, ceizeth her to his proper vse for vnlucky consequences, this being done, oppressed in minde, forsaken of his friends, shall hee the more augment his misery, by thought of this his peruer­ted felicity, with rage, and euill suffring, no rather let him loue her, since it was his fortune to haue her, and his fault to take her, and indeuour so to worke and husband that crosse beginning, to a more happy continuance and ending, taking S. Paules counsell to his practise, which thus aduiseth, Husbands loue your wiues, and be not bitter vnto them: Loue them for your owne peace, for your owne profite, dwell with them according to your [Page 44] wisedomes as with the weaker vessels, for there is no offence where loue is, for loue couereth the multitude of offences, of dislikes, and because the rather that God in­stituted it, who Himselfe is Loue; setting aside contenti­on, domesticke ciuill, vnciuill strife, the forerunner of ruine and the Purgatory vpon earth; remembring who­euer they be that fall into this predicament, they haue be­fore God and man by ioyning of hands, taken an euerla­sting peace one of another, more inuiolably to be kept then the leagues of Nations; for as nothing is more odious in the sight of God or man, then selfe violence against a mans owne person, and there was neuer any inraged that way but wanted either reason or faith in the deepest dis­content; so then by this consequence hee must either bee mad or desperate, that shall to that end lay hands on his wife, being pact of himselfe, for they are no more two but one, as Adam and his Rib at first were but one side till seuered and diuided from him, so after by marriage it was conioyned againe to as absolute vnity as before, after which hee pronounceth and thus witnesseth of himselfe: She is flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone, he the head, and she as part of the members, which so be­ing, to be diuided and at oddes, were as y^e hand to lift vp, or the foot to kicke against the head, the King and Gouer­uernor, or the head against these his instruments, suppor­ters, and ministers, the harmony whereof in this little world of man, may instruct in example all houshold Com­mon-wealths in the world, to vnity. Common-wealthes I say: for euery married man, for the most part, hath thrée Common-wealthes vnder him: hee is a Husband of a Wife, a Father of Children, and a Maister of Seruants, and therefore had néede of gouernment in himselfe that must gouerne all these, and to that purpose cannot take vnto himselfe a better practise or president, then from this vniformity of the body, where the head stands aloft like a King in his Three, giuing direction and command to all [Page 45] his Subiects, biddeth the foote goe, and it goeth, the hand fight and it fighteth, the members assist and they assist it, and this harmony preserues the whole man, which other­wise would destroy it, so must it betweene man and wife that Mysticall head and member or both perish, and for that reason, shall a man forsake father and mother (the neerest that else could bee) and cleaue to his wife, being then no more two but one; and which hee taketh from her parents and friends not to offer her violence, but to ten­der that loue with increase which for his sake in these shee parteth with, and shee likewise to him, which besides the profite, hath the applause both of God and man, accor­ding to the allusion of the Psalme 133. Ecce quam bo­num & iucundum fratres habitare in vnum: Therefore auoide Discord thou that wouldst see the fruite of thy labours, for vnity gathereth what discord dispearseth; auoide Iealousy that vnresolued vexation, that labours to seeke out what it hopes it shall not finde, that many times forrunnes that euill which it causeth to follow af­ter, being the author of dissention, distast, misery, and sometimes of murder too, as many examples testify, of which I haue here inserted one of most ancient truth and lamentable action, of a King that had a sonne by whose sword it was prophecyed his owne father and mother should perish, who therefore to preuent that fatall desteny forsooke his inheritance and went into a farre distant Country to inhabite, where fortune yet fauouring hee increased to great honour and riches, and to augment his greater felicity, was espoused to a wise right noble, rich, and exceeding beautifull, of whose welfare and happy successe his father and mother afterwards hearing (being deposed of their kingdome, and in extreame misery) tra­uelled to visite for reliefe and succour, and happening to his house in his absence, where making themselues knowne vnto his wife to bee her husbands father and mother, she kindly entertained them, & when hauing well [Page 44] replenished their bodies by food and sustenance, to rest them the easier after their trauell, shee laid them both in her husbands bed; after which hee suddenly entring in possessed with this deadly iealousy, and missing his wife goes into the chamber, where perceiuing two in his bed a sleepe, hee so inraged with passion (taking it to bee his wife and some adulterer with her) drew forth his sword and slew them both thereon at once, which when hee per­ceiued his father and mother, hee heauily repented with sorrow and woe, and shortly after dyed with griefe and pensiuenesse. And besides all this because it is thought (for the most part) to call a mans owne guiltinesse into question, as Petrarch to that purpose well obserueth, who thus noteth:

If children, which are the very pledges of loue, make you parents, relish their tender yeares with learning and piety, let Gods Law bee the seasoning of their first thoughts, for wee know by experience, greene vessels long relish of the first liquour they receiue, and by instru­ction they may bee as soone taught to say Hosanna to CHRIST, as Bald-pate to Elisha; assoone a good word as a bad scoffe: Affect not one more then another, loue them all, but dote vpon none, with the folly of the most; let them bee children not wantons, walke before them es­pecially, their more riper yeares with the more obseruant example, which will bee better to them then many good lessons. Repine not with the wicked worldling, who had rather see his counting house inuironed with vpbrayding bagges then his Table with this blessed garland of chil­dren, but bee thankefull for them, what euer thy pouerty, for as they are Pignora, Pledges, so are they Benedicti­ones, blessings; and it shall bee more pleasing to thy con­science [Page 51] vpon thy death-bed to seale them as treasure for the Kingdome of heauen, to yeeld vp thy spirit in the midst of their inuironing, then to vnseale so many bagges of euill heaped treasure to nere after performed Legacies, euery peece wherein shall rend thy heart in peeces at that houre, to thinke of the guilty atchieuing thereof: Be­sides hee that hath much riches, is subiect to many cares, many feares, dread of oppression of violence; but hee that hath many children hath euen a peace in warre, a security euen in greatest danger, for hee shall speake boldly with his enemies in the gate, they are as so many swords in thy defence, so many arrowes in thy Quiuer, Arrowes (as saith one) because they may bee so leuelled by good education and example, to shoote at thine enemies, as by the contrary against thy selfe. I do not see but that na­turall reason and meere carnall man may bee grauelled, incumbred and disquieted, in many circumstances of carriage in this businesse, but those must bee debated and forethought before the entring therein, not repented of afterwards: If thou hast laid thy hand to this Plow, be­come a Husbandman in this exercise, thou must not by any meanes looke backe, for then the allurement of other beauties will breed a dislike of thine owne, in which that thou maist bee the better contented, haue some part in thine owne portion, for as the saying is:

The charges of children, the vnfaithfulnesse of ser­uants, the disquietnesse of neighbours, would wish for a former liberty and releasement, and nothing disgesteth this course of life more then constancy and perseuerance, and because it is a Trade of such Mystery and Art, therefore (as a famous man of our time writeth) those that haue but seuen yeares to learne any other, haue three [Page 48] times seuen to acquaint themselues in the laborinth of this and the management thereof before they vndertake it, therefore hauing this notion make vse thereof, either discharge it willingly and contentedly, or vndertake it not at all.

CHAP. XIIII. Certaine Precepts to be obserued either in Wiuing or Marriage.

1 WOoe not by Embassadour.

2 Make not thy friend too familiar with thy wife.

3 Conceiue not an idle iealousy, being a fire once kindled not easily put out.

4 Affect him not that would ill possesse thee.

5 Blase not her beauty with thine owne tongue.

6 If thy estate bee weake and poore marry farre off and quickly; if otherwise firme and rich, at home and with deliberation.

7 Bee aduised before thou conclude, for though thy errour may teach thee wit it is vncertaine in this whether thou shalt euer haue the like occasion to practise it.

8 Marry not for Gentility without her support, be­cause it can buy nothing in the Market without money.

9 Make thy choice rather of a vertuous then a learned wife.

10 Esteeme rather what shee is of her selfe, then what shee should bee by inheritance.

11 Intactam quaeris intactam esto.

Bee that example to thy wife thou wouldst haue her to imitate.

For hee that strikes with the Point must bee content to bee beaten with the Pommell.

12 Shee whose youth hath pleased thee dispise not her age.

[Page 49]13 That thou maist bee loued, be amiable.

14 Saile not on this Sea without a good Compasse, for a wicked woman brings a man to repentance sooner than a surfet, sooner then suretiship.

15 'Tis the greater dispraise to children to bee like to wicked parents.

16 'Tis more torment to bée iealous of a mans wife, then resolued of her dishonesty.

And the more misery that a man may bee assured of her vice that way, but cannot bee of her vertue.

17 True chastity doth not onely consist in keeping the body from vncleanesse, but in with-holding the minde from lust; & she may be more maide that hath bene vnwil­lingly forced thereto in body, then shee that hath barely consented in heart.

18 A true wife should bee like a Turcoyse stone, cleere in heart in her husbands health, and clowdy in his sicke­nesse.

And like a Tortoyse vnder her shell euer bearing her house vpon her backe.

19 Deferre not thy Marriage to thy age, for a woman out of her owne choyce seldome pluckes a man, (as a Rose) full blowne.

20 Marry so thy body that thou maist marry thy mind; which that thou maist the better do, thus meditate.

1 That if thou hadst in variety of woman out-para­leld Salomon, thou shouldst in the end giue vp thy verdict with his: That all is but vanity and vexation of Spirit.

2 That it is in lust as in riches, where to desire no­thing and to inioy all things is but one: To vncouer more seuerall nakednesse then the Turke from his Decimary Seraglio hath authority for, with an vnsatiateillimited ap­petite, and to desire none, at least wise no variety, is the same I with aduantage.

3 That if thou shouldest thus seeking to please thine appetite inioy a thousand, and but want one thou desirest, [Page 50] thou shouldst more grieue for that little want, then re­ioyce in all thy former plenty.

4 Then since what thou canst enioy, consume thy oyle to the socket, and thy substance to a morsell, will not, be one to thy pleasure for ten thousand that escape it, the variety so large neuer to bee gathered into one bundle of thy fruition, to set vp thy rest, but the more thou pursuest it the more thou art distracted: Content thy selfe within thy lawfull limits, and destroy not thy selfe to runne after that thou canst nere oretake, which the faster thou fol­lowest it the swifter it flies from thee.

5 That it were a griefe to die for the full pleasure of any sence, but a torment for a tast to a greater distemper, like to him that should purchase at a deare rate salt water to quench his thirst, which the more hee should drinke should but the more increase it.

6 That if beauty, or wisedome, or any other portion of the body or minde assaile thée, refell them with this thought, that they are but shadowes of that substance, which should the more allure thee: But pictures, which if they please, are but that the patterne should be the more desired.

Thinke that as each day is an abridgement of all time, presents the same light, the same vse, the same Sunne and Firmament, and the ending of this renues but the same to morrow: So each woman an abridgement of that whole sexe, and infirmity, how meane so euer, expresseth the same substance, the same mould, and mettall, propor­tion, quality, and vse of all other in the world: Who then would be so mad against sence, though they would per­swade otherwise by Title, by Trapping, by copious adulterating all partes, to beleeue (as they would bee thought) that they are other then what they are, other then the same, vnlesse worse then other: The same way and the same fashion, leading to the Harborough of the same site, of the same condition and quality, though a [Page 51] little more circumstances (in some then other) beates the Bush, and vshers it on. Know this, that the end of all such variety is no more then one dish, dressed and presen­ted by a seuerall Cooke, and fashion the same in all one but in circumstance and carriage: Who would thus bee mad without reason to ioyle after the whole Alphabet of woman, when the lest letter in the row expoundeth all that Text and Couerture. And for Title, or Toombe­like brauery, well may they worke vpon the eie of follie but neuer besiege the heart of vnderstanding: And as it was lately well obserued by one, who, to that effect, thus further noted their vanity.

And if this bee not yet enough, take with thee besides for a conclusion and barre to all the rest, this Motto or Sentence to leade thee home: that,

CHAP. XV. Discontents in all Ages, Sexes, States, Conditions.