If Pallas wealth.

Tis Aluia, the faire wife to the king of Paphlagonia

Like you her my Lord?

What if I do Radagon?

Ill doest thou counsel him to fancy wiues.

Wife or not wife, what so he likes is his.

Denesum imperium Cum Ioue nunc teneo.

The will of the Lord be done.

Come on Smyth, thou shalt be one of the Crew, be­cause thou knowst where the best Ale in the Town is.

Come on, in faith my colts I haue left my M. striking of a heat, and stole away because I would kéep you com­pany.

Why what shall we haue this paltrie Smith with vs?

Paltry Smith, why you in [...] you that you speak pettie [...] trade?

Why slaue I am a gentleman [...]

A Gentleman good sir, I remember [...] your progenitors, your father bare office in our [...] man he was, and in great discredit in the parish, [...] two squiers liuings on him, the one was on [...] and then he kept the towne stage, and on [...] him the Sextens man, for he whipt dogs out of the [...] sir, your father, why sir mée-thinks I sée the [...] proper youth, he was faith aged some foure & ten, his [...] colour, halfe blacke halfe white, his nose was in the [...] grée of noses, it was nose Autem glorificam, so set [...] that after his death it should haue bin nailed vp in Copp [...] [...] hall for a monument: well sir, I was beholding to your [...], for he was the first man that euer instructed me in [...] sterie of a pot of Ale.

Well said Smith, that crost him ouer the thumbs.

Uillaine were it not that we go to be merry, [...] pier should presently quit thy opproprious termes. [...] O Peter, Peter, put vp thy sword I prithie heartily into thy [...] bard, hold in your rapier, for though I haue not a long reach [...] haue a short hitter. Nay then gentlemen stay me, for my [...] begins to rise against him, for marke the words a paltry [...] Oh horrible sentence, thou hast in these words I will stand [...] libelled against all the sound horses, whole horses, sore [...] Coursers, Curtalls, Iades, Cuts, Hackneies, and Mare [...] upon my friend, in their defence, I giue thée this curse, shalt [...] be worth a horse of thine owne this seuen yeare.

I prithie Smith is your occupation so excellen [...] [...] A paltry Smith, why ile stand to it, a Smith is Lord of the foure elements, for our yron is made of the earth, our bellowes blow out aire, our flore holdes fire, and our forge water. Nay sir, we reade in the Chronicles, that there was a God of our occupa­tion.

[...] a Cuckold.

[...] he cald your father cousin, paltry smith, [...] thou hast defaced their worshipfull [...]

[...] how?

[...] stand to it, that a Smith in his kinde is a [...] and a Barber. For let a Horse take a cold, or [...] the hots, and we straight giue him a potion or [...] phisicall maner that he mends straight, if [...] diseases, as the spuing, splent, ring-bone, [...] fashion, or sir a galled backe, we let him blood & clap [...] to him with a pestilence, that mends him with a [...], now if his mane grow out of order, and he haue [...] haires, we straight to our shéeres and trim him [...] cut it please vs, picke his eares and make him neat, [...] indéed sir, we are slouings for one thing, we neuer vse [...] musk-balls to wash him with, and the reason is sir, because [...] woe without kissing.

Well sirrha, leaue off these praises of a Smyth, [...] vs to the best Ale in the Towne.

[...] sir I haue a feate aboue all the Smythes in Niniuie, for sir [...] am a Philosopher that can dispute of the nature of Ale, for [...] you sir, a pot of Ale consists of foure parts, Imprimis the [...], the Toast, the Ginger, and the Nutmeg.

Excellent.

[...] Ale is a restoratiue, bread is a binder, marke you sir two ex­cellent points in phisicke, the Ginger, oh ware of that, the phi­losophers haue written of the nature of ginger, tis expullsitiue in two degrées, you shal here the sentence of Galen, it wil make a man belch, cough, and fart, and is a great comfort to the hart, a proper poesie I promise you, but now to the noble vertue of the Nutmeg, it is saith one Ballad I think an English Roman was the authour, an vnderlayer to the braines, for when the Ale giues a buffet to the head, oh the Nutmeg that keepes him for while in temper.

Thus you sée the discription of the vertue of a pot of Ale, now sir [Page] to put my phisical precepts in practise [...] any further.

Whats the matter now?

Why séeing I haue prouided the Ale, who is [...] wenches, for masters take this of me, a cup [...] wench, why alasse tis like an egge without salt, [...] without mustard.

Lead vs to the Ale, wéele haue wenches inough I [...]

Come on, I am euery day troubled with these néedie companions, what newes with you, what wind brings you hi­ther.

Sir I hope how far soeuer you make it off, you remem­ber too well for me, that this is the day wherin I should pay you mony that I tooke vp of you alate in a commoditie.

And sir, sirreuerence of your manhood and gente­rie, I haue brought home such mony as you lent me.

You yoong Gentleman is my mony readie.

Truly sir this time was so short, the commoditie so bad, and the promise of friends so broken, that I could not prouide it against the day, wherefore I am come to intreat you to stand my friend and to fauour me with a longer time, and I wil make you sufficient consideration.

Is the winde in that doore, if thou hast my mony so it is, I will not defer a day, an houre, a minute, but take the forfeyt [Page] [...] sir consider that my losse was great by the [...] vp, you knowe sir I borrowed of you fortie [...] I had ten pounds in money, and thirty pounds [...], which when I came to sell againe, I could get [...] for them, so had I sir but fiftéene poundes for [...] In consideration of this ill bargaine, I pray you sir [...] month longer.

I answered thée afore not a minute, what haue I to do how thy bargain proued, I haue thy hand set to my booke that thou receiuedst fortie pounds of me in mony.

I sir it was your deuise that, to colour the Statute, but your conscience knowes what I had.

Friend thou speakest Hebrew to him when thou tal­kest to him of conscience, for he hath as much conscience about the forfeyt of an Obligation, as my blinde Mare God blesse her, hath ouer a manger of Oates.

Then there is no fauour sir?

Come to morrow to mée, and sée how I will vse thée.

No couetous Caterpillar, know, that I haue made ex­treame shift rather then I would fall into the hands of such a ra­uening panthar, and therefore here is thy mony and deliuer me the recognisance of my lands.

What a spight is this, hath sped of his Crownes, if he had mist but one halfe houre, what a goodly Farme had I got­ten for fortie pounds, well tis my cursed fortune, Oh haue I no shift to make him forfeit his recognisance.

Come sir will you dispatch and tell your mony.

Stay, what is this a clocke foure, let me sée, to be paid betwéen the houres of thrée and foure in the afternoone, this goes right for me, you sir, heare you not the clocke, and haue you not a counterpaine of your Obligation, the houre is past, it was to be paid betwéene thrée and foure, and now the clocke hath strooken [Page] foure, I will receiue none, Ile stand to the forfeyt of the recog­nisance.

Why sir, I hope you do but iest, why tis but foure, and will you for a minute take forfeyt of my bond, if it were so sir, I was here before foure.

Why didst thou not tender thy mony then? if I offer thée iniury take the law of me, complaine to the Iudge, I will re­ceiue no mony.

Well sir, I hope you will stand my good maister for my Cow, I borrowed thirtie shillings on her, and for that I haue paid you 18. pence a wéeke, and for her meate you haue had her milke, and I tell you sir, she giues a goodly soape: now sir here is your mony.

Hang beggarly knaue, commest to me for a Cow, did I not bind her bought and sold for a peny, and was not thy day to haue paid yesterday, thou getst no Cow at my hand.

No Cow sir, alasse that word no Cow, goes as cold to my heart as a draught of small drinke in a frostie morning. No Cow sir, why alasse, alasse, M. Usurer, what shall become of me my wife, and my poore childe?

Thou getst no Cow of me knaue, I cannot stand pra­ting with you, I must be gone.

Nay but heare you M. Usurer, no Cow, why sir heres your thirtie shillings, I haue paid you 18. pence a wéeke, & there­fore there is reason I should haue my Cow.

What pratest thou, haue I not answered thée thy day is broken?

Why sir alasse, my Cow is a Common-wealth to me, for first sir, she allowes me, my wife and sonne, for to banket our selues withal, Butter, Chéese, Whay, Curds, Creame, sod milk, raw-milke, sower-milke, swéete-milk, and butter-milke, besides sir, she saued me euery yeare a peny in Almanackes, for she was as good to me as a Prognostication, if she had but set vp her tayle and haue gallapt about the meade, my litle boy was able to say, oh father there will be a storme, her verie taile was a Kalender to me, & now to loose my cow, alas M. Usurer take pittie vpō me.

I haue other matters to talke on, farwell fellowes.

Why but thou couetous churle, wilt thou not receiue thy mony and deliuer me my recognisance?

Ile deliuer thée none, if I haue wronged thée, séeke thy mends at the law.

And so I will insatiable pesant.

And sir, rather then I will put vp this word no Cow, I will laie my wiues best gowne to pawne, I tell you sir, when the slaue vttered this word no Cow, it strooke to my heart, for my wife shall neuer haue one so fit for her turne againe, for indéed sir, she is a woman that hath her twidling strings broke.

What meanest thou by that fellow?

Marry sir, sirreuerence of your manhood, she breakes winde behinde, and indéed sir, when she sat milking of her Cow and let a fart, my other Cowes would start at the noyse, and kick downe the milke and away, but this Cow sir the gentlest Cow, my wife might blow whilst she burst, and hauing such good con­ditions, shall the Usurer come vpon me with no Cow: Nay sir, before I pocket vp this word no Cow, my wiues gowne goes to the Lawier, why alasse sir tis as ill a word to me, as no Crowne to a King.

Well fellow, go with me, and ile helpe thee to a Law­yer.

Marry and I will sir: No Cow, well the world goes hard.

The wonder of the earth & pride of heauen.

I would be maister then of loue and thée.

What wooe my subiects wife that honoreth me?

I need not sir discourse vnto you the dutie of Lawiers in tendering the right cause of their Clients, nor the conscience you are tied vnto by higher command. Therefore suffise the Usu­rer hath done me wrong, you know the Case, and good sir, I haue strained my selfe to giue you your fées.

Sir if I should any way neglect so manifest a truth, I were to be accused of open periury, for the case is euident.

And truly sir, for my case, if you helpe me not for my matter, why sir, I and my wife are quite vndone, I want my mease of milke when I goe to my worke, and my boy his bread and butter when he goes to schoole, M. Lawier pitie me, for sure­ly sir, I was faine to laie my wiues best gowne to pawne for your fées, when I lookt vpon it sir, and saw how hansomly it was tawbed with statute lace, and what a faire mockado Cape it had, and then thought how hansomely it became my wife, truly sir my heart is made of butter, it melts at the least persecution, I fell on wéeping, but when I thought on the words the Usurer gaue me, no Cow: then sir, I would haue stript her into her smocke, but I would make him deliuer my Cow ere I had done, therefore good M. Lawier stand my friend.

Trust me father, I will do for thée as much as for my selfe.

Are you married sir?

I marry am I father.

Then goods Benison light on you & your good wife, [Page] and send her that she be neuer troubled with my wiues disease.

Why whats thy wiues disease?

Truly sir, she hath two open faults, and one priuie fault, sir the first is, she is too eloquēt for a poore man, and hath her words of Art, for she will call me Rascall, Rogue, Runnagate, Uarlet, Uagabond, Slaue, Knaue. Why alasse sir, and these be but holi-day tearmes, but if you heard her working-day words, in faith sir they be ratlers like thunder sir, for after the dewe fol­lowes a storme, for then am I sure either to be well buffetted, my face scratcht, or my head broken, and therefore good M. Law­yer on my knées I aske it, let me not go home again to my wife, with this word, No Cow: for then shée will exercise her two faults vpon me with all extremitie.

Feare not man, but what is thy wiues priuy fault?

Truly sir, thats a thing of nothing, alasse she indéed strreuerence of your mastership, doth vse to breake winde in her sléepe. Oh sir, here comes the Iudge, and the old Caitife the Usu­rer.

Sir here is fortie angels for you, and if at any time you want a hundreth pound or two, tis readie at your command, or the féeding of thrée or foure fat bullocks: whereas these néedie slaues can reward with nothing but a cap and aknée, and therfore I pray you sir fauour my case.

Feare not sir, Ile do what I can for you.

What maister Lawier what make you here, mine aduersary for these Clients?

So it chanceth now sir.

I know you know the old Prouerbe, He is not wise, that is not wise for himselfe. I would not be disgracst in this acti­on, therefore here is twentie angels say nothing in the matter, and what you say, say to no purpose, for the Iudge is my friend.

Let me alone, Ile fit your purpose.

Come, where are these fellowes that are the plain­tifes, what can they say against this honest Citizen our neigh­bour, a man of good report amongst all men?

Truly M. Iudge, he is a man much spoken off, marry euery mans cries are against him, and especially we, and there­fore I thinke we haue brought our Lawier to touch him with as much law as will fetch his landes and my Cowe, with a pesti­lence.

Sir, I am the other plaintife and this is my Councel­lour, I beseech your honour be fauourable to me in equitie.

Oh Signor Mizaldo, what can you say in this Gentle­mans behalfe?

Faith sir as yet litle good, sir tell you your owne case to the Iudge, for I haue so many matters in my head, that I haue almost forgotten it.

Is the winde in that doore, why then my Lord thus, I tooke vpon this cursed Usurer, for so I may well tearme him, a commoditie of fortie poundes, whereof I receiued ten pounde in mony, & thirtie pound in Lute-strings, whereof I could by great friendship make but fiue pounds: for the assurance of this badde commoditie, I bound him my land in recognisance, I came at my day and tendred him his mony and he would not take it, for the redresse of my open wrong, I craue but iustice.

What say you to this sir?

That first he had no Lute-strings of me, for looke you sir, I haue his owne hand to my booke for y^e receit of fortie pound.

That was sir, but a deuise of him to colour the Sta­tute.

Well he hath thine owne hand, and we can craue no more in law, but now sir, he saies his mony was tendred at the day and houre.

This is manifest contrary sir, and on that I will de­pose, for here is the obligation, to be paide betwéene thrée & foure in the after-noone, and the Clocke strooke foure before he offered it, and the words be betweene three and foure, therefore to be ten­dred before foure.

Sir, I was there before foure, & he held me with brab­ling till the Clock strooke, and then for the breach of a minute he refused my money, and kéepe the recognisance of my land for so [Page] small a triflle: Good Signor Mizaldo speak what is law, you haue your fée, you haue heard what the case is, and therefore do me iu­stice and right, I am a yoong Gentleman and speake for my pa­trimony.

Faith sir, the Case is altered, you told me it before in an other maner, the law goes quite against you, and therfore you must pleade to the Iudge for fauour.

O execrable bribery.

Faith sir Iudge, I pray you let me be the Gentlemans Counsellour, for I can say thus much in his defence, that the U­surers Clocke is the swiftest Clock in all the Towne, tis sir like a womans tongue, it goes euer halfe an houre before the time, for when we were gone from him, other Clocks in the Towne strooke foure.

Hold thy prating fellow, and you yoong Gentleman, this is my ward, looke better another time both to your bargains and to the paiments, for I must giue flat sentence against you, that for default of tendering the mony betwéene the houres, you haue forfeited your recognisance, and he to haue the land.

O inspeakeable iniustice.

O monstrous, miserable, moth-eaten Iudge.

Now you fellow, what haue you to say for your mat­ter?

Maister Lawier, I laid my wiues gowne to pawne for your fées, I pray you to this géere.

Alasse poore man, thy matter is out of my head, and therefore I pray thée tell it thy selfe.

I hold my Cap to a noble, that the Usurer hath giuen him some gold, and he chawing it in his mouth, hath got y^e tooth­ache that he cannot speake.

Well sirrha, I must be short, and therefore say on.

M. maister Iudge, I borrowed of this man thirtie shil­lings, for which I left him in pawne my good Cow, the bargaine was, he should haue eightéene pence a wéeke and the Cows milk for vsurie: Now sir, assoone as I had gotten the mony, I brought it him, and broke but a day, and for that he refused his mony and [Page] kéepes my Cow sir.

Why thou hast giuen sentence against thy selfe, for in breaking thy day thou hast lost thy Cow.

Master Lawier now for my ten shillings.

Faith poore man, thy Case is so bad I shall but speak against thée.

Twere good thē I shuld haue my ten shillings again.

Tis my fée fellow for comming, wouldst thou haue me come for nothing?

Why then am I like to goe home, not onely with no Cow, but no gowne, this géere goes hard.

Well you haue heard what fauour I can shew you, I must do iustice, come M. Mizaldo and you sir, go home with me to dinner.

Why but M. Iudge no Cow, & M. Lawier no gowne, Then must I cleane run out of the Towne.

How chéere you gentleman, you crie no lands too, the Iudge hath made you a knight for a gentleman, hath dubd you sir Iohn lack­land.

O miserable time wherein gold is aboue God.

Feare not man, I haue yet a fetch to get thy landes and my Cow againe, for I haue a sonne in the Court that is ei­ther a king or a kings fellow, and to him will I go & complaine on the Iudge and the Usurer both.

And I will go with thée and intreat him for my Case.

But how shall I go home to my wife, when I shall haue nothing to say vnto her, but no Cow. Alasse sir my wiues faults will fall vpon me.

Feare not, lets go, Ile quiet her shalt sée.

Farewell gentle Tapster, maisters as good Ale as euer was tapt, looke to your féete, for the Ale is strong, well far­well gentle Tapster.

Why sirrha slaue, by heauens maker, thinkest thou the wench loue thée best because she laught on thée, giue me but such an other word, and I will throw the pot at thy head.

Spill no drinke, spill no drinke, the Ale is good, Ile tel you what, Ale is Ale, & so Ile commend me to you with hear­tie commendations, farewell gentle Tapster.

Why wherfore peasant scornst thou that the wench should loue me, looke but on her, & ile thrust my daggar in thy bosome.

Well sirrha well, thart as thart, and so ile take thée

Why what am I?

Why what thou wilt, a slaue.

Then take that villaine, and learne how thou vse me ano­ther time.

Oh I am slaine.

Thats all one to me, I care not, now wil I in to my wench and call for a fresh pot.

Nay but heare ye, take me with ye, for the Ale is Ale, cut a fresh toast Tapster, fil me a pot here is mony, I am no beg­gar, Ile follow thée as long as the Ale lasts: a pestilence on the blocks for me, for I might haue had a fall, wel if we shal haue no Ale ile sit me downe, and so farwell gentle Tapster.

Wake him and make enquiry of this thing.

Sirrha you, hearest thou fellow?

If you will fill a fresh pot heres a peny, or else fare­well gentle Tapster.

He is drunke my Lord.

Wéele sport with him that Aluida may laugh.

Sirrha thou fellow, thou must come to the King.

I wil not do a stroke of worke to day, for the Ale is good Ale, and you can aske but a peny for a pot, no more by the sta­tute.

Uillaine heres the King, thou must come to him.

The King come to an Ale-house, Tapster, fil me thrée pots, wheres the King, is this he? giue me your hand sir, as good Ale as euer was tapt, you shall drinke while your skin cracke.

But hearest thou fellow, who kild this man?

Ile tell you sir, if you did taste of the Ale, all Nini­uie hath not such a cup of Ale, it floures in the cup sir, by my troth I spent eleuen pence beside thrée rases of ginger.

Answer me knaue to my question, how came this man slaine?

Slain, why Ale is strong Ale, tis hufcap, I warrant you twill make a man well, Tapster ho, for the King a cup of ale and a fresh toast, heres two rases more.

Why good fellow the King talkes not of drinke, he would haue thée tell him how this man came dead.

Dead nay, I thinke I am aliue yet, and wil drink a ful pot ere night, but here ye, if ye be the wench that fild vs drink, why so do your office, & giue vs a fresh pot, or if you be the Tap­sters wife, why so, wash the glasse cleane.

He is so drunke my Lord, theres no talking with him.

Drunke, nay then wench I am not drunke, thart a shitten queane to call me drunke, I tell thée I am not drunke, I am a Smith I.

Sir here comes one perhaps that can tell.

God saue you master.

Smith canst thou tell me how this man came dead?

May it please your highnesse, my man here and a true of them went to the Ale-house, and came out so drunke that one of them kild another, and now sir, I am faine to leaue my shop and come to fetch him home.

Some of you carry away the dead bodie, drunken men must haue their fits, and sirrha Smith hence with thy man.

Sirrha you, rise come go with me.

If we shall haue a pot of Ale lets haue it, heres mo­ny, hold Tapster take my purse.

Come then with me, the pot stands full in the house.

I am for you, lets go, thart an honest Tapster, weele drinke sixe pots ere we part.

What saist thou Aluida to this?

What answeres Paphlagon?

That what she hath requested I wil do.

March to the hauen merchants, I follow you.

Whether pretend you to imbarke your selues▪

May I haue passage for my mony then?

Hold take thy hire, I follow thée my friend.

Where is your budget let me beare it sir.

Mother, some meat or else I die for want.

Father shall Clesiphon haue no reliefe?

Faith my boy I must be flat with thée, we must féed vp­on prouerbes now. As necessitie hath no law, a churles feast is better then none at all, for other remedies haue we none, except thy brother Radagon helpe vs.

Oh how my mothers mourning moueth me?

Nay you shall paie mée interest for getting the boye (wife) before you carry him hence. Ah-lasse woman what can Al­con do more? Ile plucke the belly out of my heart for thée fwéete Samia, be not so waspish.

Nay by my troth, ile neuer aske my sonne blessing, che trow, cha taught him his lesson to know his father, what sonne Radagon, yfaith boy how doest thée?

Uillaine disturbe me not, I cannot stay.

Tut'sonne ile helpe you of that disease quickly, for I can hold thée, aske thy mother knaue what cunning I haue to ease a woman when a qualme of kindnesse come too neare her sto­macke? Let me but claspe mine armes about her bodie and saie my praiers in her bosome, and she shall be healed presently.

And I know he hath had many a péece of bread & chéese at my hands, as proud as he is, that know I.

Twere best you did, for feare you catch your bane,

Iustice O King, iustice against my sonne.

Thy sonne: what sonne?

This cursed Radagon.

Nay and please your Maiesti-ship, for proofe he was my childe, search the parish booke, the Clarke wil sweare it, his god­fathers and godmothers can witnesse it, it cost me fortie pence in ale and cakes on the wiues at his christning. Hence proud King, thou shalt neuer more haue my blessing.

Thy dost thou then contemne him & his friends?

You may sée wife what a goodly péece of worke you haue made, haue I tought you Arsmetry, as additiori multiplica­rum, the rule of thrée, and all for the begetting of a boy, and to be banished for my labour. O pittifull hearing. Come Clesiphon follow me.

Hence bastard boy for feare you taste the whip.

UUhy but heare you mistresse, you know a womans eies are like a paire of pattens fit to saue shooleather in sommer, and to kéepe away the cold in winter, so you may like your hus­band with the one eye, because you are married, and me with the other, because I am your man. Alasse, alasse, think mistresse what a thing loue is, why it is like to an ostry fagot, that once set on fire, is as hardly quenched, as the bird Crocodill driuen out of her neast.

Thy Adam cannot a woman winke but she must sléep, and can she not loue but she must crie it out at the Crosse, know [Page] Adam, I loue thée as my selfe, now that we are together in se­cret.

Mis. these words of yours are like to a Fox taile placed in a gentle womans Fanne, which as it is light, so it giueth life. Oh these words are as swéete as a lilly, wherupon offering a bo­rachio of kisses to your vnséemly personage, I entertaine you vp­on further acquaintance.

Alasse my husband comes.

Strike vp the drum, and say no words but mum.

Sirrha you, and you huswife, well taken togither, I haue long suspected you, and now I am glad I haue found you to­gither.

Truly sir, and I am glad that I may do you any way pleasure, either in helping you or my mistresse.

Boy here, and knaue you shall know it straight, I wil haue you both before the Magistrate, and there haue you surely punished.

Why then maister you are iealous?

Ielous knaue, how can I be but iealous, to sée you euer so familiar togither? Thou art not only content to drinke away my goods, but to abuse my wife.

Two good quallities, drunkennesse and leachery, but maister are you iealous?

I knaue and thou shalt know it ere I passe, for I will beswindge thee while this roape will hold.

My good husband abuse him not, for he neuer proffered you any wrong,

Nay whore, thy part shall not be behinde.

Why suppose maister I haue offended you, is it law­full for the maister to beate the seruant for all offences?

I marry is it knaue.

Then maister wil I proue by logicke, that séeing all sinnes are to receiue correction, the maister is to be corrected of the man, and sir I pray you, what greater sinne is, then iealousie? tis like a mad dog that for anger bites himselfe. Therefore that I may doe my dutie to you good maister, and to make a white [Page] sonne of you, I will so beswinge iealousie out of you, as you shall loue me the better while you liue.

What beate thy maister knaue?

What beat thy man knaue? and I maister, and dou­ble beate you, because you are a man of credite, and therfore haue at you the fairest for fortie pence.

Alasse wife, help, helpe, my man kils me.

Nay, euen as you haue baked so brue, iealousie must be driuen out by extremities.

And that will I do, mistresse.

Hold thy hand Adam, and not only I forgiue and for­get all▪ but I will giue thée a good Farme to liue on.

Begone Peasant, out of the compasse of my further wrath, for I am a corrector of vice, and at night I wil bring home my mistresse.

Euen when you please good Adam.

When I please, marke the words, tis a lease paroll, to haue and to hold, thou shalt be mine for euer, and so lets go to the Ale-house.

M. discourse vs all the accident.

A wonderous chance of mighty consequence.

Thou beautifull of all the world, we will.

Madam your song is passing passionate.

And wilt thou not then pitie my estate?

Aske loue of them who pitie may impart.

I aske of thée swéet, thou hast stole my hart.

Your loue is fixed on a greater King.

Good Lord how men are coy when they are crau'd?

Madam behold our King approacheth nie.

What if I slept, where should my pillow be?

All haile vnto Th'assirian deitie.

Priests why presume you to disturbe my peace?

Longer liues a merry man then a sad, and because I meane to make my selfe pleasant this night, I haue put my selfe into this attire, to make a Clowne afraid that passeth this way: for of late there haue appeared many strange apparitions, to the great fear and terror of the Citizens. Oh here my yoong maister comes.

Feare not mistresse, ile bring you safe home, if my mai­ster frowne, then will I stampe and stare, and if all be not well then, why then to morrow morne put out mine eyes cleane with fortie pound.

Oh but Adam, I am afraid to walke so late because of the spirits that appeare in the Citie.

What are you afraid of spirits, armde as I am, with Ale, and Nutmegs, turne me loose to all the diuels in hell.

Alasse Adam, Adam, the diuell, the diuell.

The diuell mistresse, flie you for your safegard, let me alone, the diuell and I will deale well inough, if he haue any ho­nestie at all in him, Ile either win him with a smooth tale, or else with a toste and a cup of Ale.

Surely this is a merry diuell, and I beléeue he is [Page] one of Lucifers Minstrels, hath a swéete voice, now surely, surely, he may sing to a paire of Tongs and a Bag-pipe.

Oh thou art he that I séeke for.

Spritus santus, away from me satan, I haue nothing to do with thée.

Oh villaine thou art mine.

Nominus patrus, I blesse me from thée, and I coniure thée to tell me who thou art?

I am the spirit of the dead man that was slaine in thy company when we were drunke togither at the Ale.

By my troth sir, I cry you mercy, your face is so chan­ged, that I had quite forgotten you, well maister diuell we haue tost ouer many a pot of Ale togither.

And therefore must thou go with me to hell.

I haue a pollicie to shift him, for I know he comes out of a hote place, and I know my selfe, the Smith and the diuel hath a drie tooth in his head, therefore will I leaue him a sléepe and runne my way.

Come art thou readie.

Faith sir my old friend, and now goodman diuell, you know, you and I haue bene tossing many a good cup of Ale, your nose is growne verie rich, what say you, will you take a pot of Ale now at my hands, hell is like a Smiths forge full of water, and yet euer a thrust.

No Ale villaine, spirits cannot drinke, come get vp on my backe, that I may carrie thée.

You know I am a Smith sir, let me looke whether you be well shod or no, for if you want a shoe, a remoue, or the clinching of a naile, I am at your command.

Thou hast neuer a shoe fit for me.

Why sir, we shooe horned beasts as well as you, Oh good Lord let me sit downe and laugh, hath neuer a clouen foote, a diuell quoth he, ile vse spritus santus nor nominus patrus no more to him, I warrant you Ile do more good vpon him with my cud­gell, now will I sit me downe and become Iustice of peace to the diuell.

Come art thou readie?

I am readie. And with this cudgell I will coniure thée.

Oh hold thy hand, thou kilst me, thou kilst me.

Then may I count my selfe I thinke a tall man, that am able to kill a diuell. Now who dare deale with me in the pa­rish, or what wench in Niniuie will not loue me, when they say, there goes he that beate the diuell.

Wife bid the Trumpets sound a prize, a prize, mark the posie, I cut this from a new married wife, by the helpe of a horne thombe and a knife, sixe shillings foure pence.

The better lucke ours, but what haue we here, cast ap­parell. Come away man, the Usurer is neare, this is dead ware, let it not bide on our hands.

Fellow begger whither now?

To the Usurer to get gold on commoditie.

And I to the same place to get a vent for my villany, sée where the olde crust comes, let vs salute him, God spéede sir may a man abuse your patience vpon a pawne.

Friend let me sée it.

Ecce signum, a faire doublet and hose, new bought out of the pilferers shop, a hansome cloake.

How were they gotten?

How catch the fisher-men fish?

take them as you thinke them worth, we leaue all to your conscience.

Honest men, toward men, good men, my friends, like to proue good members, vse me, command me, I will maintaine your credits, there's mony, now spend not your time in idlenesse, bring me commoditie I haue crownes for you, there is two shil­lings for thée, and six shillings for thée.

A bargaine, now Samia haue at it for a new smocke, come let vs to the spring of the best liquor, whilest this lastes, tril-lill.

Good fellowes, propper fellowes, my companions, far­well, I haue a pot for you.

Confus'd in thought, oh whither shall I wend?

My conscience cries that I haue done amisse.

Oh God of heauen, gainst thée haue I offended.

Asham'd of my misdéeds, where shal I hide me?

Oseas.

Lord.

The will of the Lord be done.

This way he is, and here will I speake with him.

Fellow, whither pressest thou?

I presse no bodie sir, I am going to speake with a friend of mine.

Why slaue, here is none but the King and his Uice­royes.

The King, marry sir he is the man I would speake withall.

Why calst him a friend of thine?

I marry do I sir, for if he be not my friend, ile make him my friend ere he and I passe.

Away vassaile be gone, thou speake vnto the King.

I marry will I sir, and if he were a king of veluet, I will talke to him.

Whats the matter there, what noyce is that?

A boone my Liege, a boone my Liege.

Faith sir nothing, but to speake a fewe sentences to your worship.

Say, what is it?

I am sure sir you haue heard of the spirits that walke in the Citie here.

I, what of that?

Truly sir, I haue an oration to tel you of one of them, and this it is.

Why goest not forward with thy tale?

Faith mistresse, I féele an imperfection in my voyce, a disease that often troubles me, but alasse easily mended, a cup of Ale, or a cup of wine, will serue the turne.

Fill him a bowle, and let him want no drinke.

Oh what a pretious word was that, and let him want no drinke. Well sir, now ile tel you foorth my tale: Sir as I was comming alongst the port ryuale of Niniuie, there appeared to me a great diuell, and as hard fauoured a diuell as euer I saw: nay sir, he was a cuckoldly diuell, for he had hornes on his head. This diuell, marke you now, presseth vpon me, and sir indéed, I charged him with my pike staffe, but when y^t would not serue, I came vpon him with sprytus santus, why it had bene able to haue put Lucifer out of his wits, when I saw my charme would not serue, I was in such a perplexitie, that sixe peny-worth of Iuni­per would not haue made the place swéete againe.

Why fellow weart thou so afraid?

Oh mistresse had you bene there and séene, his verie sight had made you shift a cleane smocke, I promise you though I were a man and counted a tall fellow, yet my Landresse calde me slouenly knaue the next day.

A pleasaunt slaue, forward sirrha, on with thy tale.

Faith sir, but I remember a word that my mistresse your bed-fellow spoake.

What was that fellow?

Oh sir, a word of comfort, a pretious word: and let him want no drinke.

Her word is lawe: and thou shalt want no drinke.

Then sir, this diuell came vpon me and would not be perswaded but he would néeds carry me to hell, I proffered him a cup of Ale, thinking because he came out of so hotte a place that he was thirstie, but the diuell was not drie, and therfore the more sorie was I, well, there was no remedie but I must with him to hell, and at last I cast mine eye aside, if you knew what I spied you would laugh, sir I lookt from top to toe, and he had no clouen féete. Then I ruffled vp my haire, and set my cap on the one side, & sir grew to be a Iustice of peace to the diuel. At last in a great fume, as I am very cholloricke, and sometime so hotte in my fastin fumes that no man can abide within twentie yards of me, I start vp, and so bombasted the diuell, that sir he cried out, and ranne away.

Truly sir, I was in a broune study about my mistresse.

About me for what?

Truly mistresse, to thinke what a golden sentence you did speake: all the philosophers in the world could not haue said more: what come let him want no drinke. Oh wise spéech.

Oh sir, tis one goodman Ionas that is come from Ie­richo, and surely I thinke he hath séene some spirit by the way, and is fallen out of his wits, for he neuer leaues crying night nor day, my maister heard him, and he shut vp his shop, gaue me my Indenture, and he and his wife do nothing but fast and pray.

Repent ye men of Niniuie, repent.

Come hither fellow, what art, & from whence commest thou?

Staie Prophet, staie.

O Lord of heauen forgiue vs our misdéeds.

O Lord of heauen forgiue vs our misdéeds.

O Lord of light forgiue me my misdéeds.

Heauens are prepitious vnto faithful praiers.

O pardon Lord, O pitie Niniuie.

O pardon Lord, O pitie Niniuie.

O pardon Lord, O pitie Niniuie.

Giue truce to praier O king, and rest a space.

Art thou so angry Ionas? tell me why?

Ionas art thou so angry for the vine?

Yea I am angry to the death my God.

Well good-man Ionas, I would you had neuer come from Iury to this Country, you haue made me looke like a leane rib of roast béefe, or like the picture of lent, painted vpon a read-herings cob. Alasse maisters, we are commanded by the proclamation to fast and pray, by my troth I could prettely so, so, away with praying, but for fasting, why tis so contrary to my nature, that I had ra­ther suffer a short hanging, then a long fasting. Marke me, the words be these. Thou shalt take no maner of foode for so many daies. I had as léeue he should haue said, thou shalt hang thy selfe for so many daies. And yet in faith I néed not finde fault with the proclamation, for I haue a buttry, and a pantry, and a kitchen, a­bout me, for proofe, Ecce signum, this right slop is my pantry, be­hold a manchet, this place is my kitchin, for loe a péece of béefe. Oh let me repeat that swéet word againe: For loe a péece of béef. This is my buttry, for sée, sée, my friends, to my great ioy, a bot­tle of béere. Thus alasse I make shift to weare out this fasting, I driue away the time, but there go Searchers about to séeke if any man breakes the Kings command. Oh here they be, in with your victuals Adam.

How duly the men of Niniuie kéep the proclama­tion, how are they armde to repentance? we haue searcht through the whole Citie & haue not as yet found one that breaks the fast.

The signe of the more grace, but staie, here sits one mée-thinkes at his praiers, let vs see who it is.

Tis Adam, the Smithes man, how now Adam?

Trouble me not, thou shalt take no maner of foode, but [Page] fast and pray.

How deuoutly he sits at his orysons, but staie, mée­thinkes I féele a smell of some meate or bread about him.

So thinkes me too, you sirrha, what victuals haue you about you?

Uictuals! Oh horrible blasphemie! Hinder me not of my praier, nor driue me not into a chollor, victailes! why hardst thou not the sentence, thou shalt take no foode but fast and pray?

Truth so it should be, but me-thinkes I smell meate about thée.

About me my friends, these words are actions in the Case, about me, No; no: hang those gluttons that cannot fast and pray.

Well, for all your words, we must search you.

Search me, take héed what you do, my hose are my ca­stles, tis burglary if you breake ope a slop, no officer must lift vp an iron hatch, take héede my slops are iron.

Oh villaine, sée how he hath gotten victailes, bread, béefe, and béere, where the King commanded vpon paine of death none should eate for so many daies, no not the sucking infant.

Alasse sir, this is nothing but a modicum non necet vt me­dicus daret, why sir, a bit to comfort my stomacke.

Uillaine thou shalt be hangd for it.

These are your words, I shall be hangd for it, but first answer me to this question, how many daies haue we to fast stil?

Fiue daies.

Fiue daies, a long time, then I must be hangd?

I marry must thou.

I am your man, I am for you sir, for I had rather be hangd thē abide so long a fast, what fiue daies? come ile vntrusse, is your halter and the gallowes, the ladder, and all such furniture in readinesse?

I warrant thée, shalt want none of these.

But heare you, must I be hangd?

I marry.

And for eating of meate, then friends, know ye by these presents, I will eate vp all my meate, and drink vp all my drink, for it shall neuer be said, I was hangd with an emptie stomake.

Come away knaue, wilt thou stand féeding now?

If you be so hastie, hang your selfe an houre while I come to you, for surely I will eate vp my meate.

Come lets draw him away perforce.

You say there is fiue daies yet to fast, these are your words.

I sir.

I am for you, come lets away, and yet let me be put in the Chronicles.

Then witnesse holie Prophet our accord.

Plight in the presence of the Lord thy God.