O My soule, what is it thou hast done? hast thou beene striving with the Angell, about the bo­die of Moses? For why else shouldst thou bee afraid of the Angels imprecation to Sathan, when hee strove with him about it, The Lord rebuke thee? Certainly either the Angel was very milde in his imprecation, or thou art very sharp in thy deprecation. But O wretch that I am! If Sathan deserved rebuking for stri­ving with an Angel; how much more do I de­serve it, for striving with the Creator of An­gels? and not about taking away the body of Moses, but about taking away the glory of his holy Name? For such, and so execrable are my sinnes, that through them, the holinesse of Gods glorious name is blasphemed among the Gentiles. And have I not just cause then to feare that he will, and therefore just cause to pray, that he will not, Rebuke me in his anger, nor chasten mee in his heavy displeasure.

But though rebuking were an imprecation to Sathan, yet to mee it is not so, seeing I doe not more deserve it, then I need it; as I deserve it for my sin, so I need it for my amendment: for without rebuking, what amending? what amending indeed without thy rebuking? For alas, the flesh flatters mee, the world abuseth mee, Sathan deludes mee; and now O God, if thou also shouldst hold thy peace, and wink at my follies, whom should I have? Alas, whom could I have, to make mee sensible of their foulenesse. If thou shouldst not tell mee, and tell me roundly, I went a stray, how should I ever, alas, how could I ever be brought to returne into the right way? To thy rebuking therefore I humbly submit my selfe; I know thou intendest it for my amendment, and not for my confusion; for my conversion, and not for my subversion: It may be bitter in the ta­sting, but is most comfortable in the working: hard perhaps to digest, but most soveraigne, being digested: Yet I cannot endure thou shouldst rebuke mee in anger, I cannot endure it in affection, but I can lesse endure it in abili­tie: It is grievous to mee, to thinke thou art angry, but it is insupportable to mee, to feele thou art angry: the hand of thine anger is hea­vie, and though of thy selfe thou be as it were a sweetly breathing ayre; yet anger maks thee a consuming fire, that if thine anger be kindled, yea, but a little, Blessed are all they that put their trust in thee.

When I consider with my selfe the many favours, undeserved favours, thou hast vouch­safed unto mee, and consider withall, how little use, how ill use I have made of them all, though I know I have justly deserved thy re­buking, yet my hope is still, thou wilt adde this favour also, not to rebuke me in thine an­ger: but when I thinke, how unkinde a thing thy rebuking is, but how terrible a thing thine anger is; when I thinke, what a paine it is to have thee chasten mee, but what a death it is, to have thee chasten mee in displeasure; then I fall a trembling in all my joynts, and never think I can make haste enough to say, and to say with sighing; O Lord, rebuke mee not in thine anger, neither chasten mee in thy heavie displeasure.

But why may not God rebuke mee, as Eli rebuked his sonnes? for hee rebuked his sons for their sinnes, and yet no anger appeared in him at all. O my soule, wilt thou make Eli a pattern for God? because God is a loving Father, wilt thou therefore make him like Eli, too indulgent a father? Ely indeed rebuked his sonnes with a rod, but hee made his rod of Roses and Violets: hee rebuked them for sins of presumption, as if they had been but sins of infirmity: hee rebuked them for sinnes of wil­fulnesse, as if they had beene but sinnes of ig­norance: and what was this, but instead of striking them, to stroake them, and instead of stopping them in their race, to adde rather a [Page 6]spurre unto them? And was it not for this, that God rebuked Eli in his anger, because Eli re­buked not his sonnes in his anger? I deny not O God, but that my sinnes deserve thine an­ger; or rather I acknowledge they justly pro­voke thine anger: but alas, O Lord, if thou shouldest enter into judgement with thy ser­vants, what flesh were able to stand before thee, and not bee consumed? O vile sinne of mine, enough to put patience it selfe into cho­ler, able to anger a saint, nay, even the King of saints. That if thou O God, shouldest re­buke mee in thine anger, if chasten mee in thy heavie displeasure, I could not say, but that thine anger were lenitie, and thy displeasure, mildnesse.

But what boldnesse of language is this in speaking to God? am I not worthy of rebuke, for praying God, not to rebuke mee in his an­ger, as though I thought that God could bee angry? For, is not anger a passion of humane infirmitie, and will I make God subject to pas­sions of infirmitie? Is not anger a defect in reason is? not God a perfection above reason? and can there bee defect in perfection? can there bee passion in him, that is Purus Actus? But is it not, that anger in God is not a passion, but an action, not a defect, but an effect: for then is God sayd to bee angry, when he puts his judgements in execution, when his rebukings tend not to conversion, but to confu­sion: when his mercy attempers not the rigour [Page 7]of his justice. Oh then, rebuke mee O God, but not in thine anger; rebuke me as thou didst the Ninevites, who at thy rebuking repented and were converted: but rebuke mee not as thou didst Pharaoh, who hardned his heart at thy rebuking, and was confounded. If thou O God, shouldst rebuke mee in thine anger, I should more have an eye to thy rod, then give an eare to thy lesson: I should bee more terrified with thine anger, then edified with thy rebuking, and should be made unca­pable of thy doctrine, with the terror of thy teaching: for I, alas, am as a nayle under the workmans hammer, better driven in with gen­tle stroakes, then with hard blowes: Oh ther­fore, rebuke mee not O God, if thou be angry, or if thou rebuke mee, bee not angry: Two such sharp notes, as anger and rebuking are, can never make any pleasing musicke, if they meet together. Anger in rebuking, makes the water troubled, and thick that should be drunk cleere, makes the Ayre sultry, and hot, that should be breathed in cold, extremely both of them unwholesome for the body: and seeing thou intendest my health, and seekest not to make mee sicke, Let not anger enflame thy rebuking O God, that so the ayre of it I may take in the cooler, that so the water of it I may drink the cleerer. I, alas, am as a narrow mou­thed vessell in the hand of the drawer, better filled with softly pouring in, then with pouring in hastily, which commonly spills more then [Page 8]it fills: and seeing thy rebuking is too precious a liquor to bee spilt, O poure it in with the softly hand of patience, and not with the ha­stie hand of anger; that so it may the sooner fil, & the better enter without spilling, into this narrow mouthed vessell of my emptie soule. Thy rebuking O God, is to mee as thunder, but thine anger is as lightning: and is it not e­nough, that thou terrifie my soule with the thunder of thy rebuking, but thou wilt also set this flaxe of my flesh on fire with the light­ning of thine anger? Thy rebuking of it selfe is a precious Balme, but mixt with anger, turns to a Corrosive: O keepe thy Corrosives, O God, for such hardned hearts as Pharaohs was; Apply to mee onely the simple Balme of thy rebuking, and let it not have any mixture at all of thy Corroding anger in it. What though I have offended thee with sins of anger, must thou needs take revenge, in the same kind thou art offended? and if needs thou must doe so, why maist thou not then take revenge of my sinnes in thy good pleasure, seeing I have of­fended thee as much with sinnes of pleasure? Thou didst walke in Paradise with our first Pa­rents, in the coole of the day, when the heate of the sunne was over, and this made thy pre­sence as cheerfull, as glorious: Vouchsafe O God, to deale so with mee, rebuke mee in the coole of thy Spirit, when the heat of thine an­ger is over-past; for else alas, it may be glori­ous, but can never be comfortable.

But if rebuking me in thine anger, be so bit­ter a Potion, what is it then, to chasten mee in thine indignation? for where the worst of thy rebuking in anger, is but threatning of punish­ment: the best of thy chastening in indignatiō, is inflicting of punishment: and though a strong heart may perhaps endure such threatnings, yet no strength of heart is able to beare such in­flictings. It is terror enough to heare thee but chide, but to feele thee strike, and that with stroakes of indignation, what power of any creature is able to endure it? I aske not, thou wouldst not chasten mee: this were to aske, thou wouldst not love mee; for whom thou lovest, thou chastenest; and would I lose thy love, for any chastening? O gracious God, chasten mee in what manner, with what mea­sure thou pleasest: chasten mee as thou didst Lazarus, by making him lye for hunger at Di­ves gate: chasten me as thou didst Iob, by ma­king him lye with sores upon the dunghill: chasten mee, as thou didst Daniel, by making him bee cast into the Lions denne: but then chasten me in love, and not in indignation; for thy chastening in love, though it paine, yet it heales; though it bruise, yet it comforts: Thy rod & thy staff, they comfort me; but thy cha­stening in indignation, is paine without hope, is bruising in despaire, or rather not a paine but a torment, not a bruising, but a breaking: that no misery can bee comparable to this chaste­ning, to be chastened in thine indignation.

Chastening and love may well bee matcht together, they are like to Iacob and Rachel, though there be seven yeares of service more, yet Rachel will bee had at last: but chastening and indignation are as badly matcht as may bee, for chastening enclines to conversion, and indignation is wholy bent upon confusion; oh therefore, match thy chastening with love, and not with indignation, that so, at least, I may come at last, to enjoy my Rachel, that is, thy favour: Chastening and love, may lodge both together in the bowels of a father, but indig­nation comes not where bowels are: and how then, O God, canst thou chasten me in indigna­tion, but thou must as it were disbowell thy selfe, and utterly abandon the name of a Fa­ther? and shall any thing make thee to leave that Name? I know, O God, it is a name so deare unto thee, that I hope I shall commit no such sinne; and suffer mee not O God, to com­mit any such sinne as shall ever be able to make thee abandon it. Indeed here, where wee call thee Lord, indignation may appeare, and bee bold to shew it selfe: but when wee come to name thee Father, indignation must be gone, and never presume to come in place. If thy chastening bee intended for reforming, or for polishing, what wouldst thou doe with indig­nation, that tends to abolishing? And if thou chasten whom thou lovest, and then destroy whom thou chastenest; what difference will there bee betweene thy indignation, and thy [Page 11]mercy? Oh let not thy chastening, which is ordained to be a rod for thy children, be made a knife to slaughter thy Children: Consider, O God, I am but a pot made of brittle Clay, that if thy hand hold not a temper in striking, I shall soone bee broken, and beaten in pieces, and then thy workmanship will bee defaced. And shall it ever bee sayd of thee, that with one hand thou makest, and with the other hand destroyest? Remember O God, whose title it is, to bee a destroyer: thy title is to bee a Creator: and shall I finde no more favour at the hands of a Creator, then I might looke to finde at the hands of a destroyer?

Alas, my soule, I know full well, it were a grievous case for mee, if God should let his chastening and his indignation joyne toge­ther, and assayle mee with them both at once; but how shall I doe to keepe them asunder? Have I any Moses to stand for mee in the gap? Blessed be thy glorious Name, O God: I have indeed a greater then Moses, even him, whom thou didst chasten in thy heavie displeasure; to the end thou mightst not chasten mee in thy heavie displeasure; for his agonie of crying, My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken mee; gives mee boldnesse to cry, and confi­dence in crying, My God, My God, have mercy upon mee: This I know will helpe, when all other helps sayle. But what have I in my selfe to plead, why God should not cha­sten mee in his heavie displeasure? Can I say, [Page 12]I have not deserved it? Or can I say I have not even provoked him to doe it? Alas, O God, I have nothing in thee to flie to, but onely thy mercy; nothing in my selfe to plead, but onely my weaknesse; Have mercy upon mee, O God, Verse 2 for I am weake.

But is not this a weak Plea, to alleage weak­nesse for a Plea? weak indeed with men, who commonly tread hardest upon the weakest, and are ever going over where the hedge is lowest; but no weake Plea with God, whose mercy is ever readie upon all occasions, and then most, when there is most need: and seeing there is greatest need, where there is greatest weaknesse, therefore no Plea with God so strong as this; Have mercy upon me, O God, for I am weake.

But why should David pray for mercy to helpe his weaknesse? for what can mercy do? Mercy can but pitty his weaknes, it is strength that must relieve it. But is it not, that mercy, I may say, is as the steward of Gods house, and hath the command of all he hath: that if wise­dome be wanting for direction, mercy can pro­cure it. If justice be wanting for defence, Mer­cy can obtain it: If strength be wanting for sup­port, Mercy can command it: and therefore no Plea so perfect to bee urged with God, as this, Have mercy upon mee, O God, for I am weake.

But why should David make his weaknesse a motive to God for mercy? for is not weak­nesse [Page 13]an effect of sinne? and can God love the effect, when hee hates the cause? but it is not the weakenesse in David that God loves, but the acknowledging of his weaknesse: for what is this, but the true humility? and who knowes not in how high account such hu­mility is with God, seeing it is indeed of this wonderfull condition, that though no­thing be so low, yet nothing reacheth so high, and therefore no motive so fit to move God, as this; Have mercy upon mee, O God, for I am weake. Mercy indeed looks downe upon no object so directly, as upon weakenesse; and weakenesse lookes up to no object so directly as to mercy: and therefore they cannot chuse but meete, and meeting, not chuse but embrace each o­ther. Mercy, weaknesse as her Clyent: weak­nesse, Mercy as her Patron: that no Plea can bee with God so strong, as this, Have mercy upon mee, O God, for I am weake. Let thy indignation, O God, be layd upon Pharaoh, and such as trust in their strength, for upon them thou maist get thee honour: but alas, what honour can bee gotten, by pouring thy indignation upon so weake a Crea­ture as I am? Thy honour shall bee as much to support my weaknesse by thy mercy; as to abate their pride, by thine indigna­tion.

But what though David be weak? is every weaknes sufficient cause to run to God about? [Page 14]might he not take Restoratives and Cordialls, and such other comfortable things, and so help his weaknesse without going to God? O my soule, what comfort is in a Cordiall, if it be not of Gods making? what strength in a Restora­tive, if it be not of Gods giving? No, O Lord, thy mercy is the only restorative that can help my weaknesse; the true Aqua Coelestis, to com­fort my spirits.

I know, O God, thou sweetly disposest all things both in weight and measure; Thou con­siderest man that he is but dust; Thou knowest mee, that I am a worme, and no man; and can it then be thou shouldst have no consideration of my weaknesse? wilt thou not proportion thy burthen to the bearer? wilt thou loade a Gnat, as thou wouldst loade a Camell? Oh have mercy upon mee, O God, and consider my weaknesse, for I am weake.

But why should David make his weaknesse; a cause for God to spare him? for how came hee by his weaknesse? was it not by his owne disorder? and then, if his weaknesse be one of his faults, hath not God just cause to strike him the harder for his weaknesse? It seemes, indeed, that David cannot deny but that he deserves it, and therefore layes not his Plea in the Court of Gods justice, but of his mercy; for his mer­cie, he knoweth, hath bowells of compassion, and will not alwaies bee ruled by rigour; but finding contrition, will have a regard of weak­nesse. And indeed, seeing the end of Gods [Page 15]chastening is but to piece up my breaches, why should hee strike so hard, to break mee in pieces.

But are there not some men, that feign them­to be selves poore, when yet they be rich, be­cause they would pay but a little tribute? And may not David be such a one, feign himselfe to bee weake, when perhaps hee was strong, be­cause hee would have God to spare him in his chastening? But never have such a thought of David: for heare him what hee sayes farther: Heale mee, for my bones are troubled, and surely, if his bones bee troubled, hee may well bee allowed to say hee is weake. For if there be any strength in our bodies, it is in our bones: they are both ablest to withstand harme, and farthest removed out of harmes way; that be­fore any trouble can come to them, it must passe the skinne, the flesh, the membranes, and all other parts, that if once the bones come to bee troubled, wee may justly say, Res rediit ad Triarios, the matter is come to the height of extremity: And therefore, David finding trouble in his bones, had just cause to com­plaine of weaknesse, and to say; Heale mee, O God, for my bones are troubled. Distempers and infirmities are ever more hard, or easie to be cured, as they are seated in parts, more hard or easie to be wrought upon: and therefore di­stempers in the spirits, are of al other the easiest to be cured, more hard in the humours, but in the solid parts hardest of all, for then they [Page 16]grow to bee Hectick; and such, in all account, are scarse held curable: and seeing of all the solid parts the bones are the most solid, and therefore diseases in them the hardest to be cu­red; David had just cause to call to God for helpe, and to say; Heale mee, O God, for my bones are troubled. If the beames of a house bee unsound and shaken, how is it possible the house should stand, and as little is it possible, that this body of mine should bee saved from ruine: if my bones which are the beams of it, be out of order, and troubled.

But if the trouble of the bones be so incura­ble, is it not presumption in David to say; Heale me, O God, for my bones are troubled: being as if he should say, cure me, O God, for I am past all cure, and so tempt God, with desi­ring him to do a worke that is impossible? But is it not, that David knowes to whom hee speakes? hee knowes hee speaks not to Galen, or to Hippocrates, hee knowes hee speakes not to Aesculapius, or to Apollo, but hee speakes to him that is a transcendent to all these: One to whom, not only nothing is impossible, but to whom all impossible things are no­thing. It were indeed an unreasonable request in the eye of Nature, but very unreasonable in the eye of Faith: seeing Faith indeed is then most reasonable, when most it is above all rea­son; which therefore-made Abraham, the Father of the faithfull, because contrary to hope, hee believed in hope, that God would [Page 17]make him such a father. And indeed most pro­perly then it growes to bee a cure for God, when in mans judgement it is growne incura­ble: as Christ would not go to heale Lazarus untill hee was dead, and had beene foure daies buried, thereby perhaps to prepare beliefe for his owne resurrection: seeing it might well bee believed hee could rise himselfe the third day, who had raised another after foure daies. Never therefore fear, my soule, to say with David, Heale me, for my bones are troubled: for the time will come, when hee shall heale thee, not onely when thy bones bee troubled, but when they bee mouldred away into dust and powder: for even then hee will gather them together againe, and make them stand up, and serve for beams to this bodie of thine, as now they doe.

But how can the bones bee troubled, seeing they have no sense? for it is the flesh and the membranes that feele the pain, the bones feele none. Oh then consider how great my trou­ble is, which strikes a sense of paine into my very parts that are not sensible.

And now, it would bee comfort indeed to have my bones healed, if when they were hea­led, I might then bee at quiet; but alas, what comfort is it now to bee healed of their trou­ble, when Gods chastening hand pursues me still, and layes more, and greater troubles up­on mee continually? for though the trouble of the bones bee the height of trouble; yet it [Page 18]is but the trouble of the bodie; my soule all this while hath beene at quiet, Verse 3 but now my soule it selfe is troubled also, and so extremly troubled, that I feele it, and feele it sensibly, in all the parts of my soule; I feele it in my memory, when I remember the grievous sins I have committed: I feele it in my understand­ing, when I consider thy glorious Majesty, whom I have offended: I feele it in my will, when I thinke upon the terrour of thy displea­sure which I have incurred. If the trouble were but in this or that part onely: I might yet finde comfort in the other: but now that every part of my soule, now that all my whole soule is troubled, and extremly troubled; Alas, now I may truly say, was ever sorrow, like my sorrow, was ever trouble like this of mine?

But can the soule bee troubled? is it not a spirituall substance? and are not all earthly things too grosse, to trouble that which is a spirit? They should bee so indeed, and they would be so indeed, if the soule had her right. But alas, while wee live here, the soule is but an Inmate to the bodie, and therefore the bo­dy crowes over it, as being upon its own dung­hill, and makes us all of kinne to Martha, trou­bled about many things, when but one is need­full. And yet these be not the things that trou­ble the noble soule, not the soule of David. In matters indeed between the World and us, the soule is forced to looke downe upon the earth, as upon that which sustaines it, and if it [Page 19]finde a want there, it findes withall a trouble indeed; but a trouble to the body onely: or if to the soule, but in the bodies behalfe, which is not much: That which properly troubles the soule, is the proper trouble of the soule, and is onely in matters betweene God and us: and in matters of this nature, it lookes up to heaven, for there indeed is the soules freehold: and if that inheritance bee once questioned, then the soule findes it selfe in trouble present­ly, and so extremely troubled: that where the trouble of the body, is but the bodie of trou­ble, this trouble of the soule is, I may say, the soule of trouble: and is not this inheritance questioned, if God fall once to rebuke mee in his anger? For seeing the inheritance is but a meere gift proceeding from his favour; how can I expect it, if I be in his displeasure? When I was in my greatest weaknesse, yet my bones afforded mee at least some strength; and when my bones were troubled, yet my soule was able to take care of their curing: but now that my soule it selfe is troubled: Alas, O God, who is there but thy selfe onely, of whom I can hope for any comfort? and therefore, O Lord, How long? How long wilt thou let me lye languishing in my weaknesse? How long wilt thou suffer me to struggle with oppression? How long wilt thou see the extremity of my misery, and not relieve mee? Thou indeed inhabitest Eternity, and no time to thee is either short, or long: but I alas, am a subject [Page 20]of times, and nothing so much tyrannizeth o­ver me, as this tyrant time; and specially when it joynes with misery: for then, as a thousand yeares are with thee but as a day, so a day with mee is as a thousand yeares: Measure me not therefore by thy standard of Eternity, but measure mee by the standard of time: And then O Lord, How long? How long shall thy chastening hand lye heavie upon mee? How long wilt thou poure upon mee the vialls of thine indignation? How long shall my soule bee kept from her true inheritance, which is, to beare a part in the consort of Angels? My soule is a free spirit, and is with nothing so much delighted, as with liberty; with nothing so much vexed, as with thraldome: and in thraldome alas, in miserable thraldome, is my soule detained: and therefore, O Lord, How long? How long shall my soule bee re­strained of her liberty? How long shall I lye groaning in the dungeon of captivity? How long shall no date bee set, to give a period to my thraldome? My soule, I may say, is all heart, and therefore every trouble it feeles, must needs go to the heart, yet none so deepe as this, that I am forced to cry to thee out of the deepe, and cannot yet ascend out of this vale of misery: And therefore, O Lord, how long? How long shall I live in the death of this feare, the feare of death? How long shall I desire to bee dissolved, that being reunited againe, I may never more be dissolved? How [Page 21]long shall my immortall soule bee kept from the possession of her immortality, from the immortality of her possession? If the Saints in heaven, who now tread time under their feet, doe yet continue this question still, to ask How long? How long, O Lord, holy, and true, wilt thou not avenge our blood on them that live in the earth; Is it mervaile, that I who live under the tyrannie of time, should beginne this question, to aske how long? How long, O Lord, mercifull, and just, wilt thou not avenge me on the world, and sathan, for the wrongs they have done mee? How long shall I bee kept from saying, O Death, where is thy sting, O grave, where is thy victo­rie? How long shall the Angell with the fla­ming sword, keepe mee from entring againe in­to Paradise? Where is the morning of joy I promised to my selfe, when I said, sorrow may bee in the evening, but joy commeth in the morning? For how many evenings, how ma­ny tedious nights of sorrow have I endured, and yet can see no morning of joy, no dawning of morning toward? Where is the truth of that Aphorisme; Dolor si gravis, Brevis, for what dolour so grievous as this of my soule, and yet O Lord, how long? How long shall I stand complaining, and say: my soule is troubled? Is it not, that I shall never cease to say, my soule is troubled, till he return again, who once said for me, that his soule was troubled: For alas, his soule should never have beene troubled, [Page 22]but to take away, amongst others, the trouble of mine: seeing hee is the sacrifice for all our sinnes, and with his stripes we are healed. And now therefore, O Lord, how long? How long wilt thou turne away thy face, and not shew me again the light of thy countenance? How long wilt thou absent thy self from me, and not afford me the joy of thy presence? How long wilt thou bee going still farther from mee, and not so much as once offer to returne? Verse 4 Oh returne at last and deliver my soule, save mee for thy mercies sake; for alas, O Lord, all my troubles are come upon mee, because thou wentst from mee; all my grievance is long of thine absence: for as long as thou wert with mee, and that I had thy pre­sence, my soule was at quiet, my bones were at rest; and I enjoyed then a sweete and plea­sing calme over all my parts: but as soone as thou departedst from mee, and didst but turn away thy face; my calme was presently turned into a tempest, a violent tempest of thunder and lightening: Thunder of thy rebuking, and lightening of thine anger: that if thou stay not thy hand from chastening, and return the soo­ner, I shall never bee able to hold out living, to taste of thy mercie. Saint Peter was never so neere drowning, when hee cried out to Christ, Lord save mee, or else I perish: as David is now neere sinking in the pit of perdi­tion, if God returne not speedily, and deliver his soule. But what speake I of David, as [Page 23]though it were not my owne case? and if my danger bee as great, shall not my prayer be as earnest? or can I finde a better way of saving, then thy returning? No, O Lord; for if thou returne, I am sure thou wilt not, I know thou canst not leave thy mercy behind: and mercie when it comes, I know it cannot, I am sure it will not ever suffer it to bee perdition: For though my soul were at the pits brink, and rea­die to fall in, yet even then would mercie put forth her hand and save mee.

Thou requirest mee to returne to thee; and alas, O Lord, how can I, if thou returne not to mee first? can I come to thee, unlesse thou draw mee? and canst thou draw mee to thee, if thou withdraw thy selfe from mee? I know thou returnest continually, to dispose and or­der the Oeconomie of thy creatures: but this returning is in thy providence, and is not that which I desire: I know thou returnest often to visit and judge the sinnes of the world, as thou didst at Sodome: but this returning is in thy justice, and therefore, neither is this re­turning for my turn; but thou hast a returning, in Grace and favour, when thou returnest to mee, to make mee returne to thee, a retur­ning from thine anger to thy patience, from thine indignation to thy loving kindnesse: and this is the returning which I so earnestly desire and sue for.

But O my soule, before God returne in this manner to thee, thou must looke to heare him [Page 24]expostulate with thee in this manner: Alas my Creature, what hast thou done, to bring these troubles upon thy selfe? Did I not make thee at first a sound bodie, and did I not give it a strong constitution? and how happens it now that thy bones should bee troubled? Did I not breathe into it a perfect soule, and gave it endowments, after mine owne image? and how comes it now to bee so quite out of order, and so cleane bereft of all my graces? Thou wilt perhaps answer; It is true O Lord, my bones are troubled: and how can they chuse, seeing thou tookest one of them away from mee, which thou gavest mee at first? My soule also is troubled: and how can it chuse, seeing thou didst suffer the Serpent in Paradise to disturb and trouble it? But may not God then justly reply, I took one of thy bones from thee indeed, but it was to make thee an helper: I let in the Serpent into Para­dise indeed, but it was to try thee, for thy bet­ter perfecting; and when I saw thee so foolish­ly hurt thy selfe with thy helper, and so easily wonne from mee by a Tempter; had I not just cause to leave thee to them, for whom thou leftest me? and now forlorne wretch, what hast thou to say, unlesse thou have leave to say; Return, O Lord, and deliver my soule, save mee for thy mercies sake.

But what more necessity is there of Gods returning to deliver his soule, then there was before to heale his bones? and in that case he [Page 25]spake not a word of returning: and why should hee more importune it now? Is it not, that many diseases may be well enough cured, one­ly by relation of symptomes, though the Phy­sitian come not where the patient is: and of this sort it seemes was the healing of his bones: but to deliver his soule, is of another nature, and requires perhaps a feeling the pulse, perhaps, an inspection of the patient: and therefore no remedie, here but the Physi­tion must himselfe bee present.

But is it enough to make suite to God in ge­nerall terms, to pray him to deliver my soule, and not tell from what it is, hee must deliver it? Can any man thinke that God will returne up­on so uncertaine an occasion? Alas, O Lord, it is not unknown to thee, that my soule wants no clothes: and therefore, it is not to deliver it from nakednesse: my soule needs no meat, and therefore it is not to deliver it from hunger: my soule is never old, and therefore it is not to deliver it from the wrackes of time; but it is indeed to deliver it from trouble: and what it is that can trouble my soule, thou knowest: for my soule is thy servant, depending wholy upon thy favour, and having offended thee, desires to bee delivered from all feare of thine anger: My soule was at first a free spirit, but is now become a bondslave to sinne, and ther­fore desires to bee delivered from this bon­dage: My soule is it selfe immortall, but is troubled here with a mortall body, and there­fore [Page 26]desires to bee delivered from this bodie of death: and in effect it is all but sinne, and the traine that sinne drawes after it, from which I desire my soule should bee delivered. And therefore returne, O Lord, and deliver my soule, save mee for thy mercies sake.

But O my soule, with what reason canst thou expect that God should ever returne to thee? for who would bee willing to come to one in trouble, as thou art, lest hee pay for his comming, with drawing a trouble upon himselfe? and if hee should returne and come unto thee, wouldst thou bee so satisfied? wouldst thou not presently bee importuning him for further favours? Hee must helpe thee in thy troubles; He must helpe thee out of thy troubles, or thou wouldst never bee at quiet. And is it a small matter to deliver a soule out of trouble? Do soules use to bee troubled for trifles? and were he not better then to endure thy importunity for his returning, then being returned, to bee troubled with importunitie for thy deliverance? But O my soule, be not frighted with these vaine objections: for, is God like man, that hee should bee afraid of being troubled? Is he not the God of mercy; and can it bee a trouble to his mercie, to doe the workes of mercie? Is it not his delight to bee; Is it not his title to bee called; Is not his glory to bee counted a deliverer? and is any deliverance so fit for his mercie, so worthy of his mercie, as deliverance of soules? Alas, [Page 27]O Lord, it is a small worke for thee to return; but thou shalt doe an infinite worke by thy re­turning: for thou shalt deliver my soule out of trouble, my grieved soule out of grievous troubles; and wilt thou not afford me so much kindnesse, to doe so small a matter, for effect­ing of so great a matter? Oh returne, O God, and deliver my soule, that as thou art called a deliverer, so I may call thee my deliverer, and may sing with Moses: Thou, O God, art my strength, and my song, for thou hast been my deliverance.

But why should this be made so great a mat­ter? For though in saying, returne, O Lord, and deliver my soule: I seeme to require of God, two severall workes: one to return, and another to deliver mee; yet they are in truth but both as one: at least, no more differing then the cause and the effect; seeing his very re­turning is it selfe a deliverance. The onely tur­ning his face towards mee, makes mee to see the light of his countenance; and no sooner doth that light shine upon my soule, but all the clouds that darkened it, are presently dis­pelled: all the troubles that vexed my bones, are instantly healed. But though deliverance bee an effect of Gods returning, yet it must bee when hee returnes in a good moode, and not in a rebuking, or in a chastening dispositi­on: for if his anger continue still, were it not better for mee, hee should tarry away? and why then am I so importunate with him to re­turne, [Page 28]before I know in what termes I stand with him; and whether hee bee angry still, or no? but it is even for this that I importune his returning, that I may bee assured his anger is past; for as long as hee is angry, hee never comes where I am; to doe that, were a grea­ter favour then his anger can afford; but as soone as his anger is a little over, hee is apt of himselfe to returne unto mee; for his delight is with the children of men, and specially with those that call upon him: and when he returns, his anger being over, hee useth to doe as the Dove did, that when the waters were a little abated, returned into the Arke, and brought the Olive branch with her in her mouth: so God returning, when the waters of his dis­pleasure are a little abated, brings the Olive branch of peace, and deliverance along with him.

But say my soule that God should returne, and should deliver thee; wouldst thou then be quiet, and not trouble him with any more suits? should this bee the last request thou wouldst make? Alas no, I have one suit more to make; and Thou O God, that gavest Abraham leave to importune thee with one suite after another, vouchsafe mee this favour, to make this suite also, and this indeed shall bee the last I will e­ver make: Save mee for thy mercies sake. For as thy returning would bee to small purpose if thou didst not deliver me: so thy deliverance will bee to small purpose, if thou doe not also [Page 29]save me. To deliver mee, and then leave me to bee seized upon againe, would make thee but Author imperfecti operis; leave thy worke im­perfect, which cannot agree with the perfecti­on of thy most perfect workmanship. And now, O God, if thou take pleasure in conjun­ctions, be pleased to take pleasure in this con­junction, not to joyne thy rebuking and thy anger together: not to joyne thy chastening and thy indignation together, but to joyne thy deliverance and salvation together: for those conjunctions seperate us from thee, this conjunction unites us to thee: those bring us to shipracke, this brings us into the Haven: Deliverance avoids the rocks, salvation sets safe on shore. And is not this that which Da­vid meanes, when in another place hee saith, With thee, O God, there is plenteous redem­ption? It is redemption indeed, if thou but onely deliver my soule: but it is not plenteous redemption, unlesse besides delivering, thou also save mee. O then bee pleased in thy plen­teous redemption, to grant mee this conjun­ction of deliverance and salvation, that I may returne thee the conjunction of praise and thanksgiving; and may sing and say, O Lord, I will praise thee: though thou wast angry with mee, yet thine anger is turned away. Be­hold, God is my salvation, I will crust, and not bee afraid.

But how can God returne to deliver mee, and to save mee: if hee returne not a deliverer [Page 30]and a saviour? and when will this bee? O my soule, in how much better state art thou, then David was? for hee onely expected when it should bee, but thou art assured when it was. For then was God manifested to returne a deliverer, and a Saviour, when the Angell brought this tidings to the shepherds; This day is borne to you a Saviour, of whom also a voice from heaven testified; This is my wel­beloved Sonne, in whom I am well pleased. Oh then return to me, in this Saviour, in whom, thou art well pleased: that so I may bee sure, for so I shall bee sure thou wilt not chasten me in thy displeasure.

As there have beene many particular Delu­ges and flouds, yet but one generall: so there have beene many particular deliverers and sa­viours, yet but one generall: and from this generall Saviour it is that I desire & expect sal­vation: for though his being a generall Savi­our, may make him bee thought lesse carefull of mee, having so many others to care for besides: yet have no feare of that, my soule, seeing hee is as much a Saviour to mee, as if he were a Saviour to none but mee; and this ge­nerall Saviour will save mee generally, not on­ly from temporall, but from spirituall enemies: Not onely from trouble of bones, but from trouble of soule: Not onely from miseries here on earth, but even from miseries, when earth it selfe shall bee no more. O happy sal­vation, when this Saviour shall come and save [Page 31]mee: but how may I doe to get him to come? for hee comes not but upon some motive. If I had all the gold of Ophir, I would willingly give it all, to get him to come and save mee: but, alas, I neither have it to give, nor doth he care to have it: if any thing winne him to doe it, it must bee for his mercies sake, and for his mercies sake hee will doe it, if ever hee will doe it.

But is not this strange? My weaknesse was the motive before to move God to mercy; and must his mercie now be it selfe the motive to move him to save mee? yet so it is: For when Gods mercie findes no motive from us; rather then fayle of moving, it becomes a mo­tive to it selfe: and happy it is from us, that so it is: for else we might often be without it, when most wee need it: or rather alwaies bee with­out it, seeing wee alwaies need it. Indeed this motive, For his mercies sake, is the Primum mobile of all motives to God, for shewing his favour. Hee had never delivered the Israelites out of Egypt, but for his mercies sake: Hee had never saved Noah in the Arke, but for his mercies sake: but above all, Hee had never sent his Sonne to save the world, but for his mercies sake: And how then can I doubt, and not rather be confident, that for his mercies sake hee will also deliver my soule, and save mee. Never therefore my soule looke after a­ny further motives: for upon this motive will I set up my rest: His mercie shall be both my [Page 32]Anchor, and my harbour; it shall bee both my Armour, and my Fortresse: it shall be both my ransome and my garland; it shall bee both my deliverance and my salvation.

And now, O God, thou seest the manifold troubles I am in, thou seest how weake I am; thou seest how my bones are troubled; thou seest how my soule is troubled; and what now can thy chastening hand have more of me, but onely to take away my life? and even my life I would willingly make a sacrifice to appease thy displeasure. Verse 5 But alas, O Lord, what good can it bee to thee, to have mee die? Can I praise thee in the dust? but can I praise thee when I am turned to dust? Is there remem­brance of thee in death? or is there hallowing of thy Name in the grave? As long as I have breath in my bodie, I can praise thy Name: unworthily indeed, but yet I can praise it: As long as I am numbred among the living, I can shew my selfe thy servant; an unprofitable one indeed, but yet a servant: but if my soule and bodie bee dissolved once, alas, then all my service of praysing thee is at an end, I cannot then doe it, though I would; but I cannot then will it, though I should: my soule will want her instruments with which thy praises should be sounded. O vile death, I hate thee for no­thing so much, as for thy hindring mee in this service? O cruell grave, I abhorre thee so much for nothing, as for thy stopping my mouth for this praysing? O mercifull God, [Page 33]If I could but remember thee in death, I would never bee loath to die. If I could but praise thee in the grave, I would willingly goe to it of my selfe, and never bee carried to it by force: but alas, death is forgetfull, the grave is dumbe; and therefore deliver my soule, O God, save mee for thy mercies sake.

It is not life that is so deare unto mee: but that in life I may praise thee, that art so deare unto mee: It is not death that is so frightfull to mee, but this affrights mee in death, that being dead, I cannot remember thee: It is not the grave that is so loathsome to mee, but that in the grave I am forced to forget thee; If death will spare me but to praise thee, let death come and never spare mee: If the grave will but let mee bee sensible of thee, the grave shall come and bee welcome to me; but alas, death hath no mercie, the grave hath no sense: and therfore return, O Lord, and deliver my soule, save mee for thy mercies sake.

Who knowes not, that death is a mortall enemie to all naturall memory: and therefore makes all men at last to end in a Lethargie: and what hope then of remembring thee in death? Who knows not that the grave never opens its mouth to let out any thing, but still to take in? and what meanes then of praising thee in the grave. If I could but get death to learne the Art of memory, or if I could but heare the grave to say once it had enough; I could then like to have some dealing with death, some [Page 34]traffique with the grave but alas, deaths Lethargie is incurable, the graves mouth is insatiable; and therefore returne, O Lord, and deliver my soule, save mee for thy mer­cies sake.

But doth Davids prayer tend to this, that hee may not see death? is this the intent of his request, that hee may not descend into the pit? doth hee pray to bee as Enoch, or Elias, taken from the earth, without returning into earth? Alas, hee knowes this to bee either altogether impossible, or altogether unlikely: and ther­fore no likely request to bee made by so wise a man. This therefore is certainely the intent of his prayer, that God will not so chasten him in his indignation, as to leave him in the hands of death: but that as death receives him from life, and delivers him to the grave, so the grave receiving him from death, may de­liver him againe to life, that as Christ com­manded his Apostles to shake off the dust from their feet, when they came into any unworthy house, and to come away; so hee comming into this unworthy house of death, the dun­geon of the grave, may bee able to shake off the dust from his feet, and by the power of of him that said, Lazarus come forth, have his soule and bodie reunited againe: and so u­nited, bee admitted into the quire of Saints and Angels, eternally to sing the eternall Allelujah. For as the departing of the soule from the bodie, is the death of the bodie; so [Page 35]the dividing of the bodie from the soule, is a kinde of death to the souler that it is not, as it would bee, nor fully enjoyes it selfe, untill it can meete with the bodie, and bee united to it againe: For though it find the bodie here but a base cottage, or rather a loathsome prison, yet it shall finde it there a glorious Palace, or rather a holy Temple consecrated to God: and therefore untill this bee had, it will not fully be accomplished that is here prayed for: Returne, O God, and deliver my soule, save mee, for thy mercies sake.

The remembrance of this, that I cannot re­memember thee in death, makes mee forget­full of my selfe in life: and because I cannot praise thee, nor pray to thee in the grave, it makes me to sigh and weepe to thee in my bed: and what I want in continuance, to supply with violence. Verse 6 For I am weary with my sigh­ing: all the night make I my bed to swimme, I water my cowch with my teares. Oh let my remembring thee in life, supply the place of my forgetting thee in death: and when I lye in my grave senslesse and silent, bee pleased to remember how I have lyen in my bed sighing and weeping. My sinnes, as being disordinate passions, make me undergo a passive pennance: and this hath beene my weaknesse, my trouble of bones, and my trouble of soule: but being also disordinate actions, they make mee liable also to doe active pennance: and what is this, but my sighing, and my weeping? and though [Page 36]I cannot act sorrow, so well as sinne, yet my bed and my couch can be witnesses of my sor­row, as well as of my sinne. Mine eyes indeed chiefly have done the pennance, because mine eyes first began the offence: if mine eyes had not set mee first on fire, mine eyes had not shed such showers of teares: but now, how could burning bee quenched but with water? how burning rising from mine eyes; but with water falling from mine eyes? But yet why should my bed suffer? for my bed had no hand in the fault of mine eyes? but alas, how could my bed but prove a Deodand; which so appa­rently, I may say, did Movere ad mortem? Though my bed were not principall in the act, yet my bed was accessary to the fact, as recei­ving unlawfull and stollen pleasures.

But though my sinnes indeed bee my grea­test enemies, yet there are personall enemies that have their malignity also, which though I cannot say they trouble mee as ill, yet I may truely say, they trouble mee as well as these: for mine eye is consumed because of griefe, Verse 7 and is waxen old, because of all mine enemies. You may say perhaps that my sighes were feigned, and that my teares were counterfeit: but the consumption of mine eye, is a witnesse of my sorrow, without exception; that if my passive pennance before, were not cause suffi­cient: at least, my active pennance now gives mee just cause to say, Was ever sorrow like my sorrow? was ever griefe like this of mine? [Page 37]And all this pennance I suffer and doe, because of mine enemies: for how could I chuse but sigh and weepe, to see the vile, the execrable dealing of mine enemies, that persecute me in their hearts, and yet speake peace with their mouthes: that lay shares to entrap mee, and yet beare mee in hand it shall be for my good: that prejudice my cause, as if it would never succeed; and prejudicate my prayers, as if they would never bee heard.

But what meanes David by this? will not his weeping make his enemies rejoyce the more? will not the seeing him thus dejected, make them the more insulting over him? will they not bee readie to say, Is this hee that en­countered a Lion, and a Beare? Hee that en­tred combate with a Giant, the terrour of a whole Armie; and now to fall a crying one cannot tell for what? But David is a better husband of his teares then to spend them idly, hee knowes for what hee spends them, because of his enemies indeed, but not for feare of his enemies: They are neither teares of feare; for whom should hee feare, that hath God on his side? Nor teares of vaine glory; for why then should hee shed them in the night, when none can see them: Nor teares of joy; for how then should they make him looke old, which is an effect of griefe: but they are tears of supplication, and teares of compassion. First of supplication; that God will either convert them, or confound them: and not converting, [Page 38]then teares of compassion, to thinke of their confusion. For such is the tendernesse of a godly eye, that it hath teares to shed even for enemies: And when these two waters, the teares of supplication, and the teares of com­passion meet together, what mervaile if they make a floud in Davids bed, seeing the con­course of like waters made the great Deluge in the whole world? for what are his teares of supplication, but as the waters that rose from the springs of the earth? and what are his teares of compassion, but as the waters that fell from the Cataracts of heaven? Or is it not perhaps that David makes his enemies here, a figure of his sinnes, which are indeed his greatest enemies? as also that hee makes his owne passion, a figure of Christs compas­sion, which was indeed one of his passions? for then hee wept over Ierusalem in compassi­on of their confusion, when with teares of supplication hee could not prevaile with them, in compassing their conversion: when they would not heare him how often hee would have gathered them together as a Hen gathe­reth her Chickens, with teares of supplication, Then they heare him say, There shall not a stone be left upon another, which shall not be cast down, with teares of compassion.

I grieve not so much that mine eye is waxen old, though it bee waxen old with griefe, as I grieve to see that my enemies have no eyes at all, at least, no eyes but of malice, who re­joyce [Page 39]at my afflictions, and make themselves as merry with my weeping eyes, as the Phili­stims made themselves with Sampsons blinded eyes. I grieve to see their destruction draw neere, and they laugh at my grieving, and at the oldnesse, and alteration which griefe hath brought upon mee. And was it not so with my Saviour Christ, which made the Iewes say; thou art not yet fifty yeares old, as though he looked like one neere fifty, when hee was in­deed not much above thirty:

But seeing with all my sighing and grieving, I cannot reclaim them; I here disclaime them: Verse 8 Depart from mee, all ye workers of iniquitie: Away from mee, all yee that are Wolves in sheepes cloathing: I put not away poore pe­nitent sinners, that do pennance for their sins as I have done, and may rather bee said to suf­fer sinne, then to doe it; as being more of in­firmity, then of will: I put away them that make iniquitie their work, and thinke it a pen­nance when they bee not committing of sinne: Them that are journeymen to the trade, or ra­ther Masters in the mysterie, Them that vilifie my sighes, and say, they are but sutors In for­ma pauperis, and therefore that God scornes them that reproach my teares, and say, they are but dumbe solicitors, and therefore God cannot heare them: but see how much they are deceived: For now contrary to their hopes, and more to their wishes; The Lord hath heard the voice of my teares, hath heard it: [Page 40]and therfore does not scorn it; the voice of my teares, and therefore my teares are not dumbe: and where all other voices may bee doubted, whether God will heare them or no: the voice of teares, hath Gods eare, I may say, at command; at least is never denied accesse unto his hearing. And this is but my first, and lowest degree of comfort, for a higher then this: Verse 9 Hee hath heard my request. But what? hath God no Masters of Request about him, but is Master of Requests himselfe? Indeed when hee would know the sinnes of Sodome, hee tooke not information from the Angels, but came downe himselfe to see: and should he in person see sinnes, and not in person heare prayers? And to shew himselfe to be his own Master of requests indeed, he hath taken my pe­tition into his hands; that I cannot now doubt of having my request granted: seeing the Prince that must grant it, is himselfe the Master of Requests to present it: and what is it to receive a supplication into his hands, but to receive the suppliant into his favour?

If hee onely heard the voice of my teares; I might doubt lest he thought them but like the teares of Esau, and so should slight them: Or if hee onely heard my request, I might feare lest he thought it but like the request of the mo­ther of Zebedees sonnes, and so reject it: but now that hee hath taken my supplication into his hands, now I may bee sure hee meanes to doe something in it: seeing hee never takes [Page 41]any thing in hand, which hee brings not to a happy and successefull period, against all op­position. The voice of my tears brought God to cast his eye upon mee: My request brought him to bow his eare unto mee: but the taking my supplication into his hand, hath brought him to compassionate my estate: and seeing his compassion is active, and his pitty relieving; my teares of sorrow may now bee turned into teares of joy, my lamentations into songs of thanks giving. The lamentable accent of my language, made God first to looke upon mee: The pittifull nature of my suite, made him next to listen to mee: but the justnesse of my cause in hand, made him lastly, to take my pe­tion into his hand, which is in effect to grant it out of hand.

Indeed God is with no musicke so much de­lighted, as with that of voyces; with no voy­ces so much, as with those of teares; with no teares so much, as with those of the heart, and such were mine, though sent forth by the eies: And now, whose eyes would not be moved at so strange a sight, to heare eyes speak? whose eares would not be moved at so strange a hea­ring, to see tears bee a sutour? whose hands would refuse so strange a writing, where eies, I may say, are the Penne, teares the Inke, and sighes the paper? Pardon my curiosity O God, in imagining wonders, while I meditate of thee, in whom are nothing but wonders.

And what remaines now, but that my sor­rowes [Page 42]remove their lodging, and sojourn with my enemies, as they have done with me: what remaines, but that my sighes bee turned upon mine enemies breasts, my teares upon their eyes, and that the pit they digged for me, they may fall into themselves; and that, with the violence of falling suddenly. As for me, I shall live to see mine enemies turne their backs and be ashamed: I shall live to see them hide their faces, and be confounded: but be­fore all, and above all, I shall live to magnifie thy glorious Name, O God, who art blessed for ever.

But is Davids charity come to this, to bee turned into cursings and imprecations? Indeed no otherwise then God to the Serpent, when hee sayd, Cursed art thou above all Cattell: for when men are growne into that reprobate sense, that they are more like to limbes of Sathan, then to creatures after the I­mage of God; then it is lawfull in Gods cause, to take Gods course, and to turne them over to shame and confusion. *⁎*

BLessednesse was cried in the first Psalme, but was there held so deare, that few or none have ever been able to go to the price. Now in this Psalme it is cried againe, and at a low rate; and if it bee not taken now, it is not like hereafter to bee ever had so cheape again. For, where before it must have cost an absolute de­clining from sin, and a perfect delighting in the Law of God, with a continuall exercising in it day and night; Now if wee can but get our iniquities to bee remitted, and our sinnes to bee covered, it will serve the turne, and bee accepted.

But is this so much an easier rate? For though the purchasing of Blessednesse, were before a great worke to bee done, yet it was a worke that might bee done by our selves: where the purchasing it this way, must be the worke of another: and were it not better to have it by a way in our owne power, then by [Page 46]a way in anothers will? But O my soule, Is it in man to direct his own way? Is it in mans power, to performe the worke that is requi­red? hath hee not long since put out the light that should have guided him in it? hath hee not long ago cut off the lock, that should have beene his strength to performe it? Oh there­fore, blessed bee hee that affords us blessednes at this rate: For though it bee in anothers will to grant it, yet consider whose will it is; even his that is more readie to forgive, then we are readie to aske forgivenesse, and is rather a sui­tour to us to take a pardon, then stayes for us to bee suitours to have a pardon.

But may it not bee thought, because bles­sednesse is set here at a lower rate, that it is not so good a blessednesse as the other? and then what is gotten by the bargaine? a lower price indeed, but meaner ware. But this cannot bee, for blessednesse admits no degrees of comparison; as blessed they, that have their sinnes forgiven, as they (if any such were) that have no sins to forgive. For though blessednes be a positive thing, yet it is a superlative thing: and if there want any thing of being a superla­tive, there must needs want something of being a blessednesse. Blessed then are they that have their sins forgiven: for to bee forgiven, is as much as never to have beene guilty: and to say, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven; is all one as to say, Blessed are they that never sinned. When our sinnes are once [Page 47]forgiven, wee are then at peace with God with whom, untill they were forgiven, wee were at enmity: and if no misery bee compa­rable to this, to have Gods displeasure; then no blessednesse can be comparable to this, to have his favour: and his favour we shall be sure to have, if he forgive us our sins; and therefore, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven.

But is all the way as smooth as this? Is there not a rubbe in the way here? for to say, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, is very plausible; but to say, Blessed are they whose sinnes are covered, seemes to marre all. For what if my sinnes bee so great that they cannot bee covered? must I therefore be for­ced to lose my blessednesse? It is true indeed, though my sinnes bee in number as the sands of the Sea, yet the Sea is great enough to co­ver them all: But alas, the sea covers not sins, though it cover the sinners; and what blessed­nesse can there bee in such a covering? If I goe to the world to cover them, and indeed the world is wide, and no doubt a great cove­rer of sinnes: but alas, the worlds covering is but Hypocrisie; and what were this, but to cover one sinne with another, a lesser with a greater, and so I should bee covering them still, and never cover them, but lay them more open in the sight of God, then they were be­fore. If I goe to the Heavens to cover them; and indeed the heavens are large, Et tegit om­nia Coelum: but alas, the Heavens are full of [Page 48]lights, and will sooner discover that which is hidden, then cover any thing that lies open to view. Yet I may hope to get the Cheru­bims to cover them, for they have broad wings, and of a wonderfull extent: but alas, the Cherubims have use enough of their wings to cover their owne faces: they cannot with all their wings so much as cover the least of all my sinnes. And what hope then to have my sinnes covered, when neither the Sea, nor the World, neither the Heavens, nor the Cheru­bims that are above the Heavens, be able to cover them. Yet they must bee covered, or there can bee no blessednesse. And how am I then in any better case for attaining of blessed­nesse, then I was before? Two waies propoun­ded for attaining it, and both impossible: There, the price not possible to bee payd: Here, the bargaine not possible to bee perfor­med. But O Thou that sittest in the Heavens, O Thou that ridest beteewn the Cherubims, Blessed bee thy glorious Name: For thou camest thy selfe from Heaven of purpose to cover them; Thou broughtest that with thee from Heaven, which onely is able to cover them: for what can cover sinnes but righte­teousnesse? what cover infinite sinnes, but in­finite righteousnesse? and where is any infi­nite righteousnesse to bee found, but in him onely that is infinitenesse it selfe? Be comfor­ted therefore my soule; for now it is not a hope, it is an assurance that my sinnes at last [Page 49]shall come to bee covered; It is not a hope, it is an assurance, that I shall come at last to this blessednesse in covert.

There are some perhaps will grant, that blessednesse may consist in covering indeed, but not in covering of sinnes: They thinke rather in covering their Tables with rich plate, and dainty dishes: or in covering their houses with slates of Gold; like Aurea domus Neronis; or in covering their backes with silke and soft raiment, such as Christ saith are in Kings hou­ses: but Nabuchodonozor will come in for one, Dives for another, and Haman for a third, and give cleer evidence that all these are decei­ved, and that David onely tells us the truth; They, they onely are the blessed men whose sinnes are covered.

But what needs all this scāning and discus­sing? For, what more mysterie is there in say­ing, Blessed are they whose iniquities are for­given, and whose sinnes are covered; then if it were said, Blessed are they, from whose ini­quities thou turnest away thy face, and whose offences thou blottest out? Or, (because the Scripture hath plenty of expressings in this kinde) then if it were sayd; Blessed are they whose iniquities thou castest behind thy back, and whose sinnes thou removest from thee as farre as the East is from the West? for to what tends this variety of expressing, but either for illustration: or at most, for vehemencie of asseveration, that our sinnes are pardoned? [Page 50]But if it be cōceived to be not so much a divers expressing of the same way, as an expressing of a divers way to blessednesse; then indeed, as being more mysticall, it will bee more misty for discerning cleerly what the meaning of David is. Is it then, that forgiving our sinnes is the worke of Gods mercie; for it is mercies worke onely to forgive; covering our sinnes, the worke of his love; for love covers the multitude of sinnes: not imputing our sinnes, the worke of his will; as hee saith, I will have mercie, on whom I will have mercie: that so wee may have here a three fold cord of Gods goodnesse to relye upon for our blessednesse? Or is it, that remission is necessary for sins of commission, Covering, necessary for sins of o­mission; but not imputing may serve for sins of transmission; that is, for sin originall, trans­mitted to us from our first Parents? Or is it that forgiving is mentioned as the worke of God the Father, whose worke properly it is to for­give: as hee saith, I am he that blot out trans­gressions: Covering is mentioned as the pro­per work of God the Son; as with whose righ­teousnesse our sins are covered: and therefore Saint Paul saith, Put yee on the Lord Christ Iesus: Not imputing is mentioned as the work of the holy Ghost; who being all love, com­passionates our infirmities, and so all the per­sons in the Deitie have a hand, (as it is fit they should) in this great worke of procuring to us our blessednesse: that as at the making of [Page 51]man at first; so at the making of man blessed at last, they may all joyne together, and say, Faciamus hominem ad imaginem nostram.

As long as iniquities are unforgiven, the conscience lies as it were on a Racke tortured and tormented, day and night; but as soone as there comes a pardon, it is presently taken off the Racke, and layd at ease: and is not this a blessednesse? As long as our sinnes remaine uncovered, God turnes away his face, and frownes upon us; but as soone as our sinnes bee covered, hee shewes us againe the light of his countenance: and is not this a blessed­nesse? As long as our sinnes are imputed to us, wee are in the state of Adam when hee was cast out of Paradise: but as soone as wee are freed from this imputation, we presently heare Christ say; This day thou shalt bee with mee in Paradise: and is not this again a blessednesse? And is it not now, that David expresseth it three waies, to shew, that by it a godly man is not onely blessed, but thrice blessed?

But seeing forgiving, and covering, and not imputing of sinnes, are all but privative things; how can they make a blessednesse, which is a positive thing? They may take away misery, but can never make a blessednesse. But is not the very taking away of misery, in this case, a blessednesse? for seeing we were ordained by God at first, to a blessed estate, and nothing barres us from that estate, but sinne; are wee not by the removing this barre, either left in [Page 52]this estate, or at least restored to it againe? O gracious God, grant mee the forgivenesse of mine iniquities, and the covering of my sins, and let mee never come at Heaven, if I make not of these privatives, a Iacobs Ladder to climbe up to Heaven. Neither yet is remission of sinnes a meere privative, but it hath in it an influence of Grace also; which brings with it a showre of blessings, turnes Ebal into Geri­zim: and of the Theefe upon the Crosse, makes a saint in Paradise.

Hitherto, Davids doctrine wee may well subscribe to, Verse 2 but what meanes hee by this; And in whose spirit there is no guile? For, if there bee no guile in his spirit, what needs ei­ther covering, or forgiving? But is it not, as Christ sayd of Nathaniel: Behold a true Is­raelite, in whom there is no guile: and yet who doubts, but in Nathaniel there was sinne? It seemes therefore meant, that though cove­ring and forgiving bee all Gods worke, yet there is a condition required in him whose sins are to bee forgiven: and this is the condition, that there bee no guile in his spirit: but that his repentance bee sincere and unfeigned, and without hypocrisie. And it is, as if hee had sayd; Blessed is he whom God justifies, and justifying sanctifies: for having sayd, Blessed is hee to whom the Lord imputeth no finne; which is our justification: it presently follows, and in whose spirit there is no guile, which is our sanctification. Or is it here annexed with [Page 53]a conjunction, perhaps to shew that sanctifica­tion doth not so much follow, as it is annexed; and from the same breath of Gods spirit, riseth together with justification? Or is it therefore added, lest wee should thinke blessednesse to be in such sort Gods gift, as that there should bee nothing required in us towards the attai­ning it: which yet is so in us, that it is not of us, but must come from God to us? for alas else, what spirit of ours could be without guile, if it were not influenced by that spirit, which is the truth it selfe?

It seemes this is a doctrine, in favour plainly of plaine dealing: but is this a world for plain dealing to thrive in? and if no thriving, what blessednesse? But is it not sayd of Iacob, that hee was a plaine man, and yet would any man desire to thrive better then he did? who went over Iordan with nothing but his staffe, and re­turned backe with multitudes of Cattell. Ne­ver therefore feare thriving by plaine dealing; for God that requires plainesse in thy dealing with him, wil no doubt blesse it in thy dealing with others; and they that make themselves rich by guile, will but finde themselves begui­led in the end, when God blowes upon them, and that they finde that guile in their fortunes, which they so greedily entertained in their spirits.

But why am I so earnest against guile in the spirit? do I not herein speak against my selfe? Verse 3 For was there not guile in my spirit, when I [Page 54]held my peace, for confessing my sinnes, and yet cried out for sense of my paine; as though I would have made God believe, it was for sense of my sinne? but God knowes I was si­lent in that, and that silence is now cause of my roaring: for if I had spoken and confessed my sinne at first, I might have beene heard in a lower voice: but having deferred my repen­tance so long, what mervaile if God bee gone so farre out of hearing, that a lower voice then roaring will never bee heard? Every sinne we commit, makes God to turne away his face and depart from us: and the longer time the sinne is unrepented, the longer time hee hath to goe from us the farther; and the slower we are in repenting, the more he hastens his pace: and have wee not need then to cry the lowder, to make him to heare us, that by long defer­ring our repentance is gone so far from us? Oh the foolishnesse of men that deferre repen­tance! for to deferre the repenting of sinnes, is a greater sinne, then the sinnes to bee repen­ted: and have wee not need then of the low­der voice to obtaine forgivenesse, when to our former sinnes to bee repented, is added this great sinne of deferring our repentance? O foolish tongue, how often hast thou spoken when it nothing concerned thee! and wouldst thou not speak now when it concerned thee so much? how often hast thou spoken at the ur­ging of impatience, and wouldst thou not speak now at the entreaty of repentance? But why [Page 55]then is it sayd, Non ulli tacuisse nocet, as if to hold ones peace did never hurt any? silence inded never hurts any by sins of commission, but by sinnes of omission often: silence is ne­ver guilty of idle words, yet guilty often of idlenesse, in letting slippe opportunity. And therefore Solomons counsell seemes much the sounder: There is a time to speake, and a time to hold ones peace: and if there bee a time for each of them, then each of them in their due time is good; out of time is bad: it is as great a fault to bee silent when it is fit to speake, as it is to speake when it is fit to bee silent: and if a­ny time be fit for speaking, unfit for silence, this is the time, when sinnes are to bee confes­sed, and when our iniquities are to be acknow­ledged and made known to God. Now there­fore am I justly punished for my silence: for seeing I held my peace when it was fit to speak, now my speaking will not serve, but I am faine to roare: seeing I would not spend a few hours in prayer at first, now I am faine to lie crying and praying all the day long. Alas, to what a miserable state had I brought my selfe, that could neither make use of my silence, nor of my crying out: for if I held my peace, I con­cealed my sin, and the sore still festered more and more: and if I cried out, it spent my spi­rits, and the very paine did Ages worke for it in my bones, and made them old, while my body was young. The truth is, I felt my selfe in paine, but knew not what I ayled: I knew [Page 56]all was not well with mee, but knew not well why it was so: Now after much searching and examining the cause, I finde what it was: It was even sinne, that lay all this while in my bosome, as a fire raked up in the embers of se­curity, and burnt mee to the very bone: but finding it to be sin, I was ashamed to confesseit: and so between shame of revealing, and danger of not revealing, I lived a long time as a man distracted, holding my peace for very shame, and crying out for very paine: And alas, O Lord, Verse 4 how could I chuse, when it was thy hand that lay heavie upon mee; thy hand of which it is sayd, that with it thou dost terrible things: and that which is in terrour the most terrible, when thou once beginnest, thou never givest over: thine anger is not as an Ague, but as a Feaver; comes not by fits, but is a continuall fit without either remission, or intermission: and what mervaile then, if in this torrid Zone of affliction, my Almond tree flourish before the time, and my strong men bow themselves under the burden? As a flower that is parch­ed with the sunne, and is ready to fall from the stalke that upheld it: and as earth that is overdried with the heat, and is ready to crum­ble into dust and powder: such, O Lord, was I, while neither wind, nor so much as a breath of thy favour blew upon mee; while neither showre, nor so much as the dew of thy Grace instilled into me: and in this maze of distresse whither could I thinke to turne my selfe for [Page 59]helpe? I thought sometimes that time might helpe mee: but alas, time was no friend of mine; for the longer time I stayed, the more my sore festered and rankled within mee: then I thought that place might helpe mee; but a­las, I turned mee from side to side, and could neither finde rest in resting, nor ease in motion: Then It hought of friends, but alas, my friends were my fortunes, and not mine; they bore mee fayre in hand, while the weather was fair; but as soone as a storme came, they shrunke in the wetting. So I bethought mee at last of a way, which the world would rather thinke a Precipice, then away, and yet perplexed as I was, I thought best to venture it. Verse 5 I said I will confesse my sinnes to God: A dangerous way I vow, to goe for helpe to him whom I had of­fended: to looke, his hand should raise me up, that had cast mee downe: yet see the event, or rather wonder at the wonderfulnesse of Gods goodnesse; I confessed my sinne to God: and hee for gave me the iniquitie of my sinne. Oh let every sinfull soule take this from mee: There is no such way in the torment of sin, as to con­fesse it to God. For it is not with God as it is with men, Gods waies are not as mens waies: if wee confesse a debt to men, no way but we must pay it: but in a debt to God, the very confessing it is a payment, and it is instead of ability, that we acknowledge our felves to bee unable.

And indeed, O my soule, what danger can [Page 60]there bee in confessing thy sinnes to God, who knowes them alreadie better then thy selfe? Thou informest him of nothing hee knew not before: thou dost but discharge thy consci­ence, and prostrate thy selfe at the foot of his mercy: and hee is the Lion of the tribe of Iu­dah: and who knowes not that it is the noble nature of the Lion to spare any thing that pro­strates it selfe before him. If Adam had con­fessed his sinne to God, would God have cast him out of Paradise? If Eve had confessed her sinne to God, should shee have had such throwes in her child-bearing? Oh then let e­very Adam that would recover Paradise, let every Eve, that would have ease in her labour, confesse their sinnes to God: for they may be confident a true confession shall never returne, either unregarded, or unrewarded: that where it was said before, Blessed are they whose ini­quities are forgiven, and whose sinnes are co­vered: wee may now alter the stile and say, Blessed are they whose iniquities are confes­sed, and whose sinnes are discovered. For if we confesse them, God is just, and will forgive them; if wee discover them, God is mercifull and will cover them: that as it was sayd of A­braham, he believed, and it was counted to him for rightcousnesse: so it shall bee sayd of us; wee confesse our iniquities, and it is imputed to us for innocencie.

But is there nothing required to forgivenes of sins but onely the confessing of them? A­las, [Page 61]confession is but a part of repentance Gods pardons are alwaies entire, and is it likely that he will grant a whole pardon, for onely a piece of repentance? Indeed so great is Gods for­wardnesse in shewing of mercy, so great his fa­vour towards penitent sinners: that as he useth the figure, I may say of Anticipation in his grace to them, so he accepts of the figure syn­echdoche in their performance to him: though confession be but a part of repentance, yet if it bee a true part hee accepts it for the whole, and puts a penitent in possession of a ful pardon upon his first payment. But then it must not bee a bare confession, such as the earth was in the beginning, Vacuaet informis: of which, it was not sayd, Et vidit Deue quod erat bonum: as the confessiō of Pharaoh & Iudas was: but it must bee Confessio informata, a con­fession of one in whose spirit is no guile: a con­fession not onely Gravida, but Parturiens, In labour, which is contrition: such as the Pub­licans was, who in confessing stroke his brest. And yet this is not all, but it must bee a confes­sion made to God: Pharaoh indeed confessed, but it was but to Moses: and Iudas cōfessed, but it was but to the Rulers, neither of them to God, as David doth here: and yet, neither is this all, but it must bee a confession, with pro­fessing to confesse; as it is here: I sayd I will confesse my sinne to God: and this kinde of con­fession is so acceptable to God, that next to a Martyr, hee loves a Confessor.

For this, Verse 6 shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thon maist bee found: for what favour can a prayer looke to finde, that is made to one that is not to bee found? But are there then criticall times for finding of God, as there are for taking of Physick, or for setting of figures in Astrologie? Is not God every where, and therefore to bee found in a­ny place? Eternall, and may be found at any time? O my soule, it is neither time nor place that is any considerable circumstance for find­ing of God: but if thou wouldst know the true place to finde him indeed, thou must look him in thy heart: if the truest time, thou must ob­serve thy repentance: for in a penitent heart are all the considerable circumstances for finding of God, either for time or place: look him there, and then thou shalt finde him: look him then, and there thou shalt finde him. O then my soule, if my heart bee the true place for finding of God, had I not need to looke him there betimes? for how long am I sure I shall keep my heart? I may be sure, not long; seeing it is alwaies upon going, and makes all the haste it can to be gone: and if it should be gone before I finde God in it, alas my soule, there would bee no finding him there, for thee for ever. And as the heart is the true place; so what may wee say is the true time when God may bee found? What, no doubt, but the pre­sent time? for seeing in God, there is neither time past, nor time to come, how should wee [Page 63]looke to finde him where hee is not? For this therefore shall every one that is godly pray to God while hee may bee found, that is, pre­sently, and at this very instant, and not defer repentance to the time to come, in which God is not found, no more then it is found in God.

God no doubt may bee found at all times; but wee are not at all times in case to finde him: for how should wee finde him, when we have no eyes to looke him? and am I sure I shall have eyes alwaies? God knowes, I am sure I shall not, for I finde them to grow dimmer every day then other; and this dimnesse ere long, must needs end in darknesse. Oh then my soule, make haste to finde God, before the crystall of thine eyes bee broken: for if thou tarry till then, there will bee no finding him; and if not finde him, no asking him forgivenes: and if not aske it, not have it; and not having forgivenesse, there will bee no blessednesse. For this shall every one that is godly pray to God while hee may bee found, that is, before his lights bee put out, and before hee goe to dwell at the City of Wormes, in the dungeon of darknes. There is indeed no finding of God, without repentance, and no repentance with­out faith: which because it shall cease in the life to come, we must therfore find him now, or shall not at all, either here or not hereafter.

But if no more but repentance bee required for finding of God: what hinders, but he may bee found at any time: seeing what hinders, [Page 64]but I may repent at any time? O my soule, who tells thee so? For hast thou the heart to breake thy heart at any time? and if thou hast not, then canst thou not repent at any time: for true repentance is a breaking of the heart. Thou maist perhaps quench the spirit when thou pleasest: but canst thou set it a burning when thou pleasest? If thou canst not, then canst thou not repent when thou pleasest; for a true repentance, is never without a burning ardour of Gods Spirit.

But is there indeed any time when God may not be found? Is he like to some Princes, who shut themselves up in state at times, and are not then to bee spoken withall, or seene? O great God, thou art not like man, and therefore not found after their manner: found, when onely their persons are found: but to finde thee, is to find thee gracious, without which, as good lost thou wert, as found: and gracious can none finde thee, but onely the penitent: and therefore for this, shall every one that is godly pray unto thee, so that through the grace of a true repentance, hee may finde thee gracious.

When a sinne is committed, a shower of Gods anger raines presently downe upon the sinner; and continues raining, till there be re­pentance: and if the repentance bee deferred long, it may raine downe anger so long, till it make a floud, and then there will bee no go­ing neere to God for water: but rather the wa­ter will goe neere to bee a cause of drowning: [Page 65]for it is not every ones cafe to have an Arke to save himselfe in from the floud of Gods anger; hee onely may bee confident to bee saved, that like Noah, begins to make his Arke betimes, and returns to God with a speedy repentance.

But why is it sayd, every one that is godly, and not rather, every one that is wise? seeing it is wisedome, and not godlinesse, that can discerne the fitnesse of times and seasons? Is it not, that wisedome, and godlinesse in spirituall matters, are terms convertible: No true wise­dome without godlinesse, no godlinesse with­out true wisedome: but therefore rather said godly then wise, because indeed there is no o­ther godlinesse, though there bee other wise­dome.

And now, O my soule, consider the bles­sednesse of a true repentance, and what a con­version it makes in a penitent heart: I could never thinke before, but that the world was the safest sanctuary; the flesh, the best Para­dise: but now I cansay; Thou, O God, Verse 7 art my refuge from tribulation; thou my Iubilee a­gainst all perfecutions: the place from which I hid my selfe before, is now become the place to hide mee in: and that which I fled from be­fore, as my onely terrour, I now flye to as my onely succour. Before I repented, I thought that to go to God, was to runne upon a rocke: but now I finde it is to go into the Haven: Be­fore, I thought still upon that saying, A man shall leave Father, and mother, and cleave to [Page 66]his wife: but now I finde, that Adhaerere Deo bonum est, there is no blessednesse but in clea­ving to God. Before I repented, I aspired to nothing, but to sit at Dives his table, and to fare deliciously every day: I tooke pleasure in nothing, but in wearing soft rayment, in mirth and jollity: but now I finde that all the dishes I fed on there were poyson: I find there is no wearing like to sack-cloth, nosweet pow­der like to ashes, and say to laughter thou art mad. Thou, O Christ, art the true food that nourisheth to eternall life: Thou, the true gar­ment, that gives mee entrance to the marriage of the Lambe, and makest mee to heare the melody of Heaven, in the quire of Angels. Be­fore I repented, I said to the world Aegypt, thou art my staffe, and to the flesh Dalilah, thou art my joy: but now I can say, Thou, O God, art my refuge in all tribulations; Thou, the joy of my heart, against all my persecutors.

But O the vanity of the world, have I lived to heare that glorious acclamation, Saul hath killed his thousand, and David his ten thou­sand: and is my glory come now to this, that I am glad of a place to hide me in? Indeed, Sic transit gloria Mundi. But O my bodie, never doe thou trouble thy selfe for the matter, for thou art sure enough of a place to hide thee, seeing a spanne or two of earth will serve thy turne: It is thou my soule, that makest mee glad of a place to hide me, for thou indeed art not easily hidden, thou ly est open to all as­saults [Page 67]of Sathan, to all temptations of the world, and that which is more then these, to the angry hand of God: and from this it is chiefly, I am glad of a place to hide me: though the world may thinke it strange I should goe to God, to hide mee from God: But O foolish world, it is not strange, for I goe to Gods Mercy, to hide me from his Iustice; for God forbid, I should bee of those, that call to the Mountaines to cover them, and to the Hills to hide them. No, deare Iesus, Thou art the Mountaine that must cover mee; Thou, the Sanctuary, that I flye unto: to which if Ioab had fled, it had not been Abner that could have drawne him forth.

But had not David Towers, and Fortresses to defend him, and could hee not bee safe un­lesse he were hidden? and say he were brought to a necessity of hiding himselfe; yet is hee well advised to make choyce of God, for his place to hide him? The darkest places are fittest for hiding; and what hiding then could he look for of God, who is nothing but light? O my soule, there is no hiding so excellent, as to be hidden with light; for thither my enemies, who are children of darknesse can never come. When I am hidden with light, I can see my enemies, and they not see mee: not much un­like the advantage that God himselfe hath o­ver us. When I am hidden with light, there is more glory in the light, then desparagement in the hiding: and have I not reason then, to [Page 68]make choyce of God who dwells in light inac­cessible, for my place to hide me? Others hi­ding can but keep me from the eyes of my ene­mies, it cannot keepe me from the hands of my enemies: Gods hiding can doe both: For, Thou, O God, shalt preserve mee from trouble: though in others hiding, enemies perhaps can­not, yet troubles at least may finde mee out; but when thou hidest mee; as enemies cannot, so troubles dare not: I shall bee as free from the feare, as from the sense of troubles. And yet, O God, if thou shouldst onely preserve mee from trouble, this were no more, then I might enjoy, if I were a senslesse creature; for what trouble, where there is no sense? but thy hiding will do more then this: it will compasse me about with songs of deliverance: and this wil give me a sense, and in that sense a delight of the happines I enjoy by the benefit of thy hiding.

If thou shouldst deliver mee but in part, I should in part bee in bondage still: and what would my state bee the better for this? seeing in this case, all figures are synechdoches; a part here as much as the whole: to bee a Pri­soner in part, is to bee a Prisoner altogether: but when thou compassest mee about with de­liverance; this leaves no place for synechdo­ches, but gives mee a totall and absolute free­dome; and makes mee obnoxious to no mo­lestation, And yet if thou shouldst also com­passe mee with deliverance, and so leave mee; I might be still both insensible of it in my selfe, [Page 69]and unthankfull for it to thee, and so my state but little the better for this neither: but when thou compassest mee about with songs of de­liverance; this makes mee a Quirister in the Quire (I might say of Angells,) but that their songs are all songs of Iubilee, and mine onely of deliverance. O my soule, God is not a deliverer like a halfe Moone, bright in one part, and darke in another; but he is a delive­rer like the Sunne, his deliverance shines al­waies the whole compasse: and with his deli­verance, hee delivers also songs of thankfulnes to him, and in my selfe of joyfulnesse.

But what need is there of Plurality of songs? may not one song serve? and if one may, what need many? One song perhaps, may serve for one deliverance: but if there bee many deliverances, must there not bee many songs? and must there not be many deliverances, when there are many bondages? and are there not many bondages when I incurre a new bon­dage, as often as I commit a new sinne? and yet another reason as great as this: For say that Gods deliverance bee but one, will that one deliverance require but one song? O my soule, it deserves, and therefore requires, I say not a Pluralitie, but an infinitie of songs: for there must be some songs to expresse it, and others to extoll it; some songs of miserere, and others of Magnificat: some de profundis, and others in excelsis, some songs of praise, and others of thanksgiving: and though there [Page 70]will bee a time when all these songs shall bee collected into one, and so collected make the great Canticum Canticorum: yet till that time come, there will bee need of many songs: and seeing I shall need many; I hope, O God, thou wilt not see mee want, and tye me to one song: but wilt compasse mee about with songs of de­liverance.

But alas, O Lord, I am farre as yet from be­ing compassed with songs of deliverance; I have not so much as one song of deliverance to sing: for how should I sing of deliverance, that am still in bondage? how sing at all, that am still a weeping? But I know thy goodnes O God, I know how much thou delightest in the Musicke of Thanksgiving; and therefore, am assured, the time will come, and (conside­ring the haste thou makest) will come speedi­ly, that thou wilt compasse mee about with songs of deliverance.

But have I beene all this while right, in the understanding of Davids meaning, where hee saith, Thou shalt compasse mee about with songs of deliverance? for are they songs that are sung for mee, or songs that are sung by mee? if sung for mee, then they are men and Angells that sing them, as rejoycing for my deliverance; if sung by mee, then it is I, O God, that sing them to thee, as giving thanks for my deliverance. Songs of deliverance, of my deliverance, that I am delivered: or songs of deliverance, of thy deliverance, that thou hast [Page 71]delivered me. Take them in either sense, & Da­vid is pleas'd; take them either way, and God is glorified. So there need be no question of this, yet of this, there will be question: how I can be sure of repenting, if I am not sure to repent whē I list? and this question David seemes to an­swer, putting the matter upon God; Verse 8 and there­fore brings God in, as speaking thus: I will give thee understanding, and will instruct thee in the way that thou shalt walke; I will fixe mine eye upon thee: and Gods instructions are never in vaine: for with the lessons hee gives, hee gives also an aptnesse to understand them; and with the aptnesse, a capacity to performe them: and then having God, for an instructour, by teaching thee the way, and for an overseer, by fixing his eye upon thee: how canst thoudoubt of profiting in a learning, where all the learning is but one lesson of repentance. Repentance in­deed is but one lesson: but it is the hardest lesson in all the booke: and wee may see how hard it is, by the great adoe that is about it: for first, God must give us understand­ing for it; and this will not bee enough; then hee must give us instructions in it; and neither will this bee enough; then hee must have a continuall eye upon us, to hold us to it, and all these together will be but little enough; Alas, all these together will bee too little, and not enough, if wee bee wanting to our selves. Bee not therefore, O my soule, like the Vine­yard of which God sayd, what could I doe [Page 72]more to my Vineyard, then I did, and yet it hath brought forth nothing but wilde grapes? No my soule, Bee not like to Horse and Mule, that have no understanding: Verse 9 when thou art shewed the right way, doe not wilfully runne another way: when one comes to dresse and keem be thee, doe not offer to byte and strike; do not cast thy Riders, nor kicke at thy Rulers: Bee not headstrong like the Horse, nor lazy like the Mule: for if thou use thy selfe like a Horse and a Mule, thou must looke to bee used like a Horse and a Mule; have a bridle put in thy mouth, and a snaffle in thy jawes: and if these will not serve, a spurre and a rod too, to quic­ken and beate understanding into thee. For consider, O my soule, in what state thou stan­dest: though thou have understanding, as be­ing made Ad similitudinem Dei; yet if thou use not understanding, thou makest thy selfe Ad similitudinem Bruti: or rather so much worse then a Beast, as corruption makes worse than privation: for if a man shall doe that by abu­sing Reason, which a Horse doth by wanting Reason; shall hee not doe it, not onely with more shame, but with more violence, as ma­king that an instrument of stubbornnes, which was given for a furtherance of obedience? Is it not a shamefull thing that a man should bee bridled and spurred as a Horse? yet if he use not understanding, but will bee like a Horse, hee must bee so: for as understanding is the sterne, I may say, of a man, to direct him in his [Page 74]course, so a bridle is the sterne of a Horse to guide him in his way; and he that will not take into his heart, his owne sterne of understand­ing, must be forced to take into his mouth, the Horses sterne of a bridle; for a sterne hee must have, no remedy, either his owne sterne or a Horses, either understanding or a bridle: that wee may truely say, there is not a more neces­sary trade in the world then a bridle-maker is; seeing without such a one, there would bee no living in the world, for the multitude of un­rulie Horses.

And thus when men grow so wicked and so voyd of understanding, to bee like Horse and Mule: It may justly then bee sayd, Many are the troubles of the wicked: Verse 10 for there will bee troubles of bridle, and troubles of snaffle, troubles of spurro, and troubles of rod; from all which the godly are free: No bridle in their mouthes, because they doe that willing­ly, which the foolish Horse will not doe but by constraint. No spurre in their sides; be­cause with the assistāce of Gods grace, they use understanding, and run readily of themselves, to the marke that is before them.

But why then should David in another place say; Many are the troubles of the Righteous? for by this it should seeme, there is nothing lost by being wicked, nothing gotten by being righteous; for whither wicked or righteous, there will bee troubles still. It is true, there will bee troubles, but is there not a difference? [Page 72] [...] [Page 73] [...] [Page 74]The troubles of the godly are but onely out­ward, but the troubles of the wicked are in­ward rather: The troubles of the godly are but to exercise them, but the troubles of the wicked tend to ruine. The troubles of the wicked have a Corrosive, I may say, a worme within them, but the troubles of the godly have a Cordiall, I may say a kernell within them, a sweet kernell indeed, that makes am­ple amends for all the hardnesse and fracture of their shell. The troubles of the wicked, have no deliverer: but of the troubles of the godly, it is sayd, The Lord shall deliver them out of all. And all this long of Gods mercy that compasseth them about. It is no doubt, a strong fortresse to the godly, that the Angells pitch their tents about them: but it is a far stronger, that Gods mercy compasseth them about: for that which is but Ministeriall in the Angells, is Primitive in God: and though the Ministery of Angells may bee: yet Gods mercy can ne­ver bee frustrate; and especially when it com­passeth about; for then, neither troubles on the right hand, nor troubles on the left; neither tumours of Prosperity, nor grypings of Ad­versity: then neither troubles before them, nor troubles behind them; neither agonies of terrour, nor rackes of persecution, shall ever come so neere them, as to touch them; at least, not so prevaile against them, as to hurt them. That notwithstanding all their troubles: Verse 11 It shall bee justly sayd still; Bee glad yee that are [Page 71]righteous, and rejoyce in the Lord: showte for joy, all yee that are upright of heart.

And may it not bee as well sayd to the wic­ked: Bee glad, and showte for joy? or rather have they not more cause of rejoycing, then the godly: The wicked indeed may rejoyce to see their full barnes and their full bags: but alas, what becomes of their joy, when they heare it sayd; Stulte hac nocte repetent animam tuam? They may rejoyce to sit with Belshaz­zar at their full cups, in revelling and feasting: but alas, what becomes of their rejoycing, when they see it written upon the wall before them, Mene, Tekel, Peres? All gladnesse of the world is often converted, alwaies conver­tible into sorrow: onely the gladnesse that is in God, never suffers Ecclypse. A single kinde of joy the wicked may have, but because their rejoycing is in the world, and not in God; they are farre, God knowes from showting for joy. None but the righteous rejoyce in the Lord: and therefore none but the righteous can showte for joy. This David did, when hee danced before the Arke: and this Abra­ham did; when Exultavit ut videret diem Demini: Hee leaped for joy, to see the day of Christ. Is there showting for joy at Olympick games, where but a Garland is gotten perhaps of Bay, at most but of some fading matter: and shall their not bee showting for joy, at the game of the great Olympus, where there wil be a crown gotten of glory, that shall never wither [Page 72]nor fade away? O my soule, there will be the victory, that is onely worthy of showting for joy: which as it is common to all the godly, so it is proper to onely the godly: who being upright in heart, and having their conversati­on in Heaven already, they see with cleerer eyes than Abraham saw Christs day, the saints expecting them, the Angels ready to re­ceive them; and that which is more than the most that can be said or thought, God himsefle preparing for them their severall Mansions of Beatitude: that wee may justly conclude as we began; Blessed are they whose iniqui­quities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; Blessed is the man to whom the Lord imputeth no sinne, and in whose Spirit there is no guile.

BUt is it not an absurd request, Verse 1 to re­quire God, not to rebuke mee in his anger; as though I thought hee would rebuke mee if hee were not angry? Is it not a senslesse suite, to pray to God, not to chasten mee in his displeasure; as though hee would chasten mee if hee were not displeased? The frowardest natures that [Page 76]are, will yet be quiet as long as they be pleas'd: and shall I have such a thought, of the great, yet gracious God, that hee should be pleas'd, and yet not bee quiet? But O my soule, Is it all one, to rebuke in his anger, and to rebuke when hee is angry? He may rebuke when hee is angry, and yet restraine and bridle in his an­ger: but to rebuke in his anger, is to let loose the reines to his anger: and what is it to give the reines to his anger, but to make it out-run his mercy? and then what a miserable case should I bee in, to have his anger to assault me, and not his mercie readie to relieve mee? to have his in dignation fall upon mee, when his loving kindnesse were not by to take it off? Oh therefore, rebuke mee not in thine anger, O God: but let thy rebuking stay for thy mer­cie; chasten mee not in thy displeasure, but let thy lovingkindnesse have the keeping of thy rod.

But though the request be never so just; yet must it not needs be a wearisome thing to God, to have us alwaies come to him with the same petition, as though wee would persecute him with importunity, and make him doe that, which he is not willing to doe? for if he were willing to grant it, hee would no doubt have done it before now; when in the sixth Psalme, we asked him as earnestly for it, as we can doe in this. But O my soule, is importu­nity a fault? if it bee, it is a fault I shall hard­ly bee perswaded ever to leave. Did Christ [Page 77]count it a fault in the woman of Canaan, who would take no answer; but still cried after him, till hee granted her suite? Did not Abra­ham importune God five times, about the spa­ring of Sodome? and did not God grant as long as hee importun'd? And may wee not thinke that if hee had continued his importunity still, hee might as well have gotten Sodome to bee spared for one mans sake, as hee had done for ten? Is God like man, that the importunitie of suitours should bee a trouble to him? Can wee thinke, that God should bee displeased with our importunity to him, when he is plea­sed to use importunity himselfe to us? Did not God call to Samnel, three times one after ano­ther; when hee bid him go to Eli, with a mes­sage? Was it not importunity which Christ used to Peter, when thrice together hee asked him, Simon sonne of Ionas, lovest thou mee? Indeed Peter seemed not well pleas'd with this importunity: but God never was, never will bee found to bee displeased with it. Never therefore feare to bee importunatewith God; but feare rather, thou canst never bee impor­tunate enough; for so highly is God pleased, or rather indeed delighted with our importu­nity in praying, that hee oftentimes denies the first suit of his servants, because he would bee importun'd by a second; oftentimes the second, because hee would have a third. In­deed, that which in suits to men is importuni­tie, in suits to God is fervencie and perseve­rance, [Page 78]and seemes to resemble the nature of the Seraphims; where single prayer but of or­dinary Angels, of whom as some fell, so this may faile, and often doth, the other never.

But though importunity bee to God most pleasing alwaies: yet to us, it is then most ne­cessary, when the cheerfull face of God is turned into frownes: and when there is a just­ly conceived feare of the continuance of his anger: and have not I just cause to feare it, having the arrowes of his anger sticking so fast in mee? if hee had meant to make me but a Butt, at which to shoot his arrows; he would quickly, I suppose, have taken them up againe; but now that hee leaves them sticking in mee, what can I think, but that he meanes to make mee his quiver; and then I may looke long e­nough, before hee come to plucke them out. They are arrows indeed that are fethered with swiftnesse, and headed with sharpnesse; and to give them a force in flying, they are shot, I may say, out of his Crosse-bow, I am sure his bow of crosses: for no arrowes can flie so fast, none pierce so deep, as the crosses & afflictions with which he hath surprized me: I may truly say surprized me; seeing when I thought my self most safe, and said, I shall never be moved even then these arrows of his anger lighted upō me, and stick so fast in my flesh, that no arm but his that shot them, is ever able to draw them forth Oh then, as thou hast stretched forth thine arme of anger, O God, to shoot these arrowes [Page 79]at mee; So stretch forth thine arme of mercy, to draw them forth; that I may rather sing Hymns, then Dyrges unto thee: and that thou maist shew thy power, as well in pardoning, as thou hast done in condemning. I, alas, am as an Anvile under two hammers: one, of thine anger, another of my sinne; both of them beating incessantly upon mee; the ham­mer of thine anger, beating upon my flesh, and making that unsound: the hammer of my sin, beating upon my bones, and making them un­quiet; although indeed both beat upon both: but thine anger more upon my flesh, as being more sensible: my sin more upon my bones, as being more obdurate. Gods anger and sin, are the two efficient causes of all misery; but the Procatarkticke cause indeed, is sin: Gods anger, like the house that Sampson pulled upon his own head, falls not upon us, but when we pull it upon our selves, by sinne.

I know by the unsoundnesse of my flesh, that God is angry with me: for if it were not for his anger, my flesh would bee sound: but what soundnesse can be in it now, when Gods angry hand lies beating upon it continually, and never ceaseth? I know by the unquietnes of my bones, that I have sinne in my bosome; for if it were not for sinne, my bones would bee quiet: But what quietnesse can bee in them now, when sin lies gnawing upon them incessantly, with the worme of remorse? one would thinke my bones were farre enough re­moved, [Page 80]and closely enough hidden from sins doing them any hurt: yet see the searching nature, the venemous poyson of sinne, which pierceth through my flesh, and makes unqui­etnesse in my very bones.

I know my flesh is guilty of many faults, by which it justly deserves unsoundnesse: but what have my bones done? for they minister no fuell to the flames of my fleshes sensuality; and why then should they bee troubled? But are not my bones supporters of my flesh, and are they not by this, at least accessary to my fleshes faults? as accessaries then, they are sub­ject to the same punishment the flesh it selfe is, which is the principall.

I cannot but wonder at this condition in my selfe: there is nothing I more loath then sinne, yet nothing I more willingly embrace: nothing that I more abhorre, yet nothing I more readily entertaine: what mervaile then, if their bee unsoundnesse in my flesh, and un­quietnesse in my bones, when I will needes bee taking so turbulent a guest, so deadly a poyson as sinne is into my bosome? and make an idoll of that, which I know so well to bee a monster?

As a man that stands in the water, as long as it comes but to his middle, or but up to his shoulders, endures and beares it safty enough; but when it comes once to goe over his head, it then overwhelmes and presently strangles him: such alas am I, my sinne a long time, [Page 81]came I may say, but up to my shoulders; and then I thought my selfe safe enough; now God knowes, I am over head and eares in sinne, and so overwhelmed with it, that my breath is ta­ken from mee, and I have not so much as any breath of Grace remaining in me. No strength is so great, but it may be overburdened, though Sampson went light away with the gates of Az­zah; yet when a whole house fell upon him, it crushed him to death. And such, alas, am I, I have had sin as a burden upon mee, ever since I was borne: but bore them a long time as light, as Sampson did the gates of Azzah; but now that I have pulled a whole house of sinne upon mee, how can I chuse but be crushed to death with so great a weight? And crushed, O my Soule, thou shouldst be indeed; if God for all his anger, did not take some pitty on thee: and for all his displeasure, did not stay his hand from further chastening thee.

I know, O Lord, I have done most foolish­ly, to let my sores runne so long, without seek­ing for helpe: For now, Verse 5 My wounds stinke and are corrupt; in as ill a case as Lazarus body was, when it had beene foure daies buried; e­nough to make any man despaire, that did not know thee as I doe: For, doe not I know, that Nullum tempus occurrit tibi? doe not I know, thou hast as well wisedome to remedy my foo­lishnesse, as power to cure my wounds? Could the grave hold Lazarus, when thou didst but open thy mouth to call him forth? No more [Page 82]can the corruption of my sores, bee any hinde­rance to their healing, when thy pleasure is to have them be cured. Although therfore I have done my owne discretion wrong to deferre my care; yet I will not doe thy power wrong, to despaire of thy cure: for, how should I despair, who know thee to be as powerfull, as thou art mercifull; if I may not rather say, to bee as mercifull, as thou art powerfull: Each of them indeed an Abyssus: and when Abyssus Abyssum vocat, what marvell, if their follow marvells?

And as I do not despaire, so neither do I pre­sume: Verse 6 For I am troubled, I am bowed downe, and go mourning all the day long. I am troubled no lesse with the griefe of thy displeasure, then with the paine of my wounds: each of them alone, just cause of mourning; but both of them together, of mourning all the day long.

I have told hertofore, how I spend my night: all the night I water my bed with teares. Now I tell how I spend my day; all the day long in mourning. And can it be, O God, thou shouldst neither regard my weeping, nor my mourning? neither my weeping all night, nor my mour­ning all day?

If my flesh had continued as God made it, there had been in it, both soundnes, and beau­tie; but alas, my sinne, and his arrowes, his arrowes by reason of my sin, have so wounded it, that it is nothing now, but a very Cistern of corruption: for all sinne hath poyson in it, and breedes diseases; infinite diseases in the Soule, [Page 83]loathsome diseases in the bodie. And what will not diseases doe in these bodies of ours? whose spirits can be so errect, but will bee de­jected? whose limbes so strong, but will bee bowed downe? whose heart so cheerefull, but will bee made to mourne with the violence of diseases? And now therfore, am I dejected, I am bowed down, I gomourning all the day long and may I not say, with the worst kinde of mour­ning, the mourning perhaps of the chyne: like Horse and Mule that have no understanding? For my loynes are filled with a loathsome disease: the very disease, that made Elias, Verse 7 and Iohn Bap­tist to weare girdles of beasts skins about their loynes; and they with wearing such girdles, prevented in themselves, the loathsomnesse of this disease: but I, alas, never thought of any girdle, much lesse of Beasts skins: and there­fore the disease is now grown so loathsome up­on mee, that it hath filled my loynes; so filled them, that it hath not so much as a spare room left to make a perfume in; so loathsome, that it makes me fit for no company but Lazars, for no place but an Hospitall: for how should o­thers endure the stinch of my sores, when I am not able to endure it my selfe? how much lesse, O God, canst thou endure it, whose pure sense is sensible, even of that impurity, which is to us insensible, in the starres themselves? Thou, O God, didst vouchsafe this favour to our first Parents, to make them garments of Beasts skins to cover their nakednesse, and may wee [Page 84]not be bold to think, that the Girdles of Beasts skins, which Elias and Iohn Baptist wore about their loynes, were also of thy making? Oh then vouchsafe, O God, to give me such a gir­dle to weare about my loynes; a girdle of con­tinence & true mortification; which though it cannot now, as in Elias and Iohn Baptist it did, prevent the growth and loathsomnesse of con­cupiscence in mee: It may at least, as in Mary Magdalen restraine it, and make mee capable of being cured.

And as I have not despaired, Verse 8 nor presumed: so neither have I murmured nor repined at thy chastisements: I acknowledge my selfe most worthy to suffer them, but most unable to bear them. I am dejected no lesse in body, then in spirit; and yet though I could not speake for weaknesse, I have roured for griefe; and the un­quietnes of my heart, hath supplied the feeble­nes of my tongue. Indeed if I could have been a Boanerges, and have gotten a voice like thun­der, I should have used it now in speaking to thee; that if my importunity before could not, at least my loudnesse now might prevaile with thee, to procure thee to hear me. For I am feeble and sore broken, I have roared through the unqui­etnes of my heart. All long of the unquietnes of my heart, and the unquietnes of my heart, all long of my sin: for where sin is, there will never be but unquietnes of heart, & an unquiet heart will alwaies produce these miserable effects: Feeblenes of body, dejectednesse of mind, and [Page 85]roaring of voice.

But how can roaring stand with feeblenesse, which seemes to require a strength of spirits? Is it not therefore a roaring, perhaps not so much in lowdnesse, as in an inarticulate expres­sing? that having done actions more like a beast then a man, I am forced to use a voice, not so much of a man, as of a beast? Or is it perhaps a roaring in spirit, which the heart may send forth, though the bodie bee feeble: or rather then most, when it is most feeble: not unlike the blaze of a Candle, then greatest, when going out. Howsoever it be, this is cer­taine; the heart is that unhappy plot of ground which receiving into it the accursed seed of sinne, brings forth in the bodie and soule of man, these miserable fruits: and how then can I be free from these weedes of the fruits, that have received into me so great a measure of the seed? O vile sinne, that I could as well avoid thee, as I can see thee; or could as easily resist thee, as I deadly hate thee; I should not then complaine of either feeblenesse of bodie, or dejectednesse of mind, or roaring of voice: but I should perfectly injoy that happie quietnesse in all my parts, which thou, O God, didst gra­ciously bestow as a blessed dowrie on our first Parents, at their creation. And now, Verse 9 O my soule, let mee aske thee a question: Why art thou cast downe, and why art thou disquieted within mee? Hope thou in God; for I will yet praise him, who is the health of my coun­tenance, [Page 86]and my God. But what neede was thereof roaring? for what matter is it whether I speake to God in a soft voice, or in a lowd? seeing thou knowest, O God, the very thoughts of my heart, and my groaning is not hid from thee. Though I speake not, but onely thinke to speake, yet thou knowest it: though I think not, but onely groane to think, yet thou know­est it; and knowing these things, thou knowest O God, that my griefe is more for thy displea­sure, then for my wounds: lesse for the paine I feele of thine arrowes sticking in mee, then for the unkindnesse I take at thy shooting them at mee. As the love with which thou givest, is more deare to mee then thy gifts; so the anger with which thou strikest, is more grievous to mee then thy rod: and alas, O Lord, how can I then chuse but roare through the unquietnes of my heart, when I want both thy gifts, and thy love too, and yet feele thy rod, and thine anger too? Verse 9 All my desire, O Lord, is ever before thee, and my groaning is not hid from thee: but what availes it mee, that my desire bee all be­fore thee, if it be not all for thee? what avails it mee, that my groaning be not hid from thee, if it be not made to thee? If I desire any thing besides thee, that desire is from weaknesse, and then thou regardest it not; if I groane to any but thee, that groaning is from vainnesse, and then thou seest it not: but now that my desire is onely for thee, and my groaning onely to thee; now I know, thou both seest and regar­dest [Page 87]them; and I doubt not, O God, but mee for them.

But, alas, O Lord, Verse 10 this is not yet the whole chapter of my misery; for besides this, My heart panteth, my strength faileth mee; and as for the light of mine eyes, that also is gone from me. And what is my heart, but the foundation; what my strength, but the pillars? what mine eies, but the windows of my building? If these then bee ruined, how can my whole building chuse but bee demolished? My heart is not wont to pant, but in some great agonie; nor my strength to sayle, but in some great con­flict; nor my sight to goe from mee, but in some great disaster: how great then, alas, must my agonie bee, how hard my conflict, how grievous my disaster; when my heart, my strength, my sight, all sayle mee at once? Though my heart panted, yet if my strength continued, I should have a support: or though my strength fayled, yet if my sight continued, I should have a guide: but when they all faile, and faile at once; alas, O Lord, how can I chuse but fall, that have neither strength to support mee, nor eyes to guide mee: Thou, O God, must say to my heart, bee of good cheere: Thou must say to my strength, I will bee thy fortresse: Thou must say to mine eies, I will be thy light: and then, and not till then, shall I ever have case, or confidence, or con­solation.

It is some comfort to men in misery, when [Page 88]they have their friends about them; if not to relieve them, yet at least to pitty them: for e­ven pitty, is a comfort to men in misery: but so miserable am I, that I am left alone, as one utterly forsaken. For even my lovers and friends stand aloofe from mee, and my kinsmen stand a farre off. They are all pieces that recoyle, and flie backe at the first voice of the powder. Yet it is not so much mee they stand aloofe from, as my sore; for if it were not for my sore, I should have enough of their company, easily enough: but they cannot abide sores, their eies are too tender to endure to see them, and yet hard enough, not to relieve them. Or is it they stand aloofe, that is so neere, as to shew, they are willing enough to see them; but yet so farre off, as to shew, they have no meaning to come and helpe them. But call you these lovers and friends? Men that flutter about us like flies, in the Summer of prosperity, but vanish and are gone in the winter of adversity? Are friends but painted flowers, onely for shew, and nothing at all for use? Or if true flowers, yet onely to make nosegayes of, and never to make medicine of? Is there use of Physitians but when there are sores; and when sores come, will not they bee gotten to come? Is there use of friends, but in time of need; and when need comes, will they then bee gone? But alas, O Lord, was it not so with Christ himselfe? company enough, friends enow, when there was no need; but as soone as Iudas [Page 89]comes with a band of men, scarse a man found that will bee gotten to tarry: and if they used the Master so, can I that am a servant, looke to bee better used?

But say, you call them friends, yet how can you call them lovers? for it is the nature of love, to bee readiest at hand, when there bee troubles at hand. Doth not the Elme, alover of the Vine, support the Vine, when it else would sinke downe and fall to the ground? doth not the Vine stick close to the Elme, and if the Elm chance to fall, chuseth rather to fall with it, then to forsake it? And shall nature doe this in trees, and shall not reason, shall not vertue, do it much more in men? or shall trees bee reckoned the reasonable Creatures, and men bee cashiered out of the number? But this is the world; they are called lovers and friends, of their faces, no otherwise then Ba­boones may bee called men: for when a day of triall comes, they are often found as farre from friendship and true love, as Baboones from reason, and true understanding. And such were my lovers and friends (alwaies ex­cepting Ionathan:) but I looked for better at my kinsmens hands: for there is in them a pro­pinquity of nature, and nature will hardly be kept from working: yet such is my unfortu­natnesse, that in my behalfe, even nature her selfe growes idle, and I finde as little comfort from my kinsmen, as from my other lovers and friends: and to say truely, rather lesse: [Page 90] for where my lovens and friends stand but aloofe, Verse 11 my kinsmen stand afarre off: neither of them neere indeed, but yet my kinsmen the farthest off: My lovers and friends stand but aloofe from my sore, as taking it perhaps for a Noli me tangere; but my kinsmen stand afarre off, as taking it for no lesse then the very plague. My lovers and friends stand aloofe from my sore, as expecting perhaps a time of reco­very when they may come on againe; but my kinsmen stand afarre off, as never intending to hearken more after mee. My lovers and friends stand aloofe from my sore, as fearing more my sore then me, but my kinsmen stand a farre off, as fearing mee no lesse then my sore: and where my lovers and friends by standing aloofe, doe but violate the law of a contracted friendship: My kinsmen by standing afarre off, violate even the law of naturall affection: And is not this a grievous thing, that the law of reason, the law of friendship, the law of na­ture shall all bee broken, rather then I shall be relieved, or finde assistance? And now, O my soule, seeing thy lovers and friends, and kinsmen prove all unloyall, unfaithfull, and unnaturall, in whom alas canst thou hope for helpe? In whom, O Lord, but onely in thee? for thou art a lover incomparably more loyall, then either the Vine to the Elme, or the Elme to the Vine: Thou are a friend infinitely more faithfull, then either Jonathan to David, or David to Ionathan; Thou art a kinsman, but [Page 91]rather a father unspeakably more tender of thy children, then either Boaz of Ruth; or Abra­ham of his one and onely sonne Isaac.

But though to bee thus forsaken, rejected, and even abhorred, by lovers, and friends, and kinsmen, bee misery enough, and more then enough for one man to beare; yet this is not all the misery I beare, Verse 12 but they also that seek after my life lay snares for me: and they that seeke my hurt, speake mischievous things, and imagine deceit all the day long. Is it not enough that my friends and kinsmen will doe mee no good; but there are others that will doe mee hurt: and it is not enough, that they wish my hurt, but they seeke to do it; they hunt after mee, as after a prey: and it is no small hurt they seeke to doe mee; but they lay snares for my life: nothing but my life will serve them; and they doe it not so much by open violence, which might perhaps bee withstood; but they doe it by fraud and deceit, which is not easie to bee avoided: for first, they speake mischie­vous things, they raise scandalls, and worke the world to an ill opinion of mee; and then they lye devising of waies how to entrap mee; and they spend not an houre or two about it, but they imagine deceit all the day long. And alas, O Lord, is this a world to have safety in scandalls? where if some bee ready to de­vise them, others are as ready to believe them? If there bee a Iezabel to plot a false accusation, are there not elders to put it in execution? and [Page 92]do I not in this still runne in the same line with my Lord Christ Iesus? For did not the scribes and Pharisees, first devise mischievous things against him; and then the High-priests and Rulers believe what they devised, and execute what they believed? And what, O Lord, do I all this while? doe I stand upon my guard, and have an eye to their practises? doe I seeke to repell their violence by force, or to frustrate their fraud with circumspection? Do I cleere their scandalls with apologies, or do I answer their clamours with vociferations? God knowes, none of all these: I neither use armes offensive, nor defensive; all my doing is suffe­ring, and all the apology I make for my selfe, is silence; Verse 13 For as a deafe man, I heard not, and as a dumbe man, I opened not my mouth: For why should I hear, when I meant not to speak? and why should I speake, when I knew before hand I should not bee heard? I knew by con­testing, I should but provoke them, and make them more guilty, that were guilty too much before. I therefore thought it better my selfe to bee silent, then to set them a roaring, and make them grow outragious. No doubt, a great wisedome in David, to know that, to be deaf and dumb was in this case his best course, but yet a farre greater vertue, that knowing it, hee was able to do it. O how happy should we bee, if wee could alwaies doe that, which wee know is best to bee done: and if our wills were as readie to act, as our reason is able to enact, [Page 93]wee should then decline many rocks wee now runne upon; wee should then avoid many er­rours we now runne into. To bee deafe, and dumb, are indeed great inabilities and defects, when they bee naturall; but when they be vo­luntary, and I may say artificiall, they are then great abilities, or rather perfections. They are two stemmes, upon which do grow the excellent vertues of patience and charity; which though David shewed in himselfe in a great measure, at the rayling of Shimei: yet he could never so properly speake them of him­selfe, as in the person of Christ: for of him in­deed the sacred story relates, that being ray­led upon, and reviled, buffeted and beaten by the base multitude, yet as a sheepe led to the slaughter, hee opened not his mouth, but was deafe and dumbe even to death.

O grievous alteration! transcendent indig­nity! Hee that restored Creeples to health, and raised the dead to life; now to bee depri­ved himselfe of the chiefe faculties of life, both active and passive? He that made the deafe to heare, and the dumbe to speake: now himself neither to speake, nor heare? A grievous case no doubt to bee so: and yet no doubt, a just cause it should bee so: for if he had heard, he should have heard but blasphemies: and if he had spoken, he must have spoken but reproofs: and seeing blasphemies were too prophane for his sacred ears to hear, and reproofs too harsh for his milde tongue to utter: what marvell, [Page 94]if he that made the care, did himselfe not hear, what marvell, if hee that was the Word it self, did not speake a word?

And as my deafenesse and dumbenesse, Verse 15 have not proceeded from imbecillity, but from pa­tience; so neither have they proceeded from feare, but from reverence: for why should I speake, when my hope is in thee, O God, that thou wilt speak: why should I hear, when thou wilt heare for mee? For alas, O Lord, when I hear, they speak what they list, as either think­ing I cannot controll them or not caring whe­ther I can or no: but whē thou hearest, they are glad to take heed what they say; for thou hast scales to weigh their words, and if find them light, power to censure them. Why then should I offer to hear or speak, when I know ere long I shall have a hearing before thee, where thou shalt bee their judge, and wilt be my advocate. And have I not reason, till then, to consecrate my eares and tongue to thee? It is true, inju­rious language is a provocation able to make a dumbe man to speake, and I may say, able to loosen the tongue of Croesus his dumbe sonne: but he that so provoked, should fall a speaking, were very like to fall in speaking: for it is a slip­pery argument to be spoken in: and if in speak­ing I should slip never so little, Oh what a joy it would bee to my enemies, they would ne­ver desire better sport, they would magnifie themselves against mee: I should be their blind Sampson to make them merry, I should serve [Page 95]them for a stocke of derision. Oh therefore, suffer mee not, O God, to suffer these indigni­ties; but do thou heare for me, do thou speak for mee: for I alas, am readie to halt, Verse 17 and my sorrow is continually before mee, that if my slipping and falling, bee a cause to make mine enemies rejoyce, they may bee sure of joy e­nough: for how can I chuse but often fall, that am of my selfe so readie to halt? and specially when my sorrow is alwaies before mee; that makes me I cannot see my way before me; for what doth more blind the eyes, and take away the sight, then sorrow? Was it not sorrow that hindred Mary Magdalen from discerning Christ, when shee saw him at the Sepulchre? And besides, my halting is the worst kinde of halting that is; for I come not to it, as Iacob came to his, by wrastling with an Angell, which brought a blessing with it: but I come to it as Mephibosheth did, by the imbecillity or inequalitie of my parts: For having two feete to goe upon, my reason, and my will; how can I chuse but halt, when my will is so much longer then my reason? and then, if to the apt­nesse of my falling, by reason of my halting, there bee added the inadvertency of the way, by reason of my sorrow: how can I chuse but even trip at every step I take? that if mine e­nemies rejoyce at my fallings, they are very like to have their fill of rejoycing; for if a just man fall seven times a day, how often, alas; am I like to fall, that halt, I may rightly say, down [Page 96]right in sinne? but let mine enemies rejoyce to see mee fall as much as they please; this shall not hinder mee from seeking to rise: and see­ing there is no rising from sin, but by cōfessing it; Verse 18 I will therefore declare mine iniquitie, I will bee sorry for my sinne: I will declare mine iniquity, that my enemies may see, I can speak to God, though I was dumbe to them; and I will bee sorry for my sinne, to make them see how little I envie their rejoycing, that can take pleasure in my own sorrowing: for to declare mine iniquities without sorrowing for my sin, might rather bee thought an ostentation then a penitence, and rather shew mee proud of my sinne, then ashamed of it. I will therefore bee sorry for my sinne, that my sorrow may testifie for me, that my declaration now is out of con­trition; as my declaration shall testifie, that my dumbnesse before, was out of compassion. But though I scorn mine enemies deriding, yet I am not insensible of mine owne disgrace: and therefore hope that my speaking now, shall supply my dumbnesse before; and make thee, O God, to take my cause into thine owne hea­ring; and either convert mine enemies, or else confound them. This indeed is my hope, though I see as yet but small fruit of my hope; For mine enemies are lively and strong, Verse 19 and they that hate mee without a cause are multiplied. I looked for abatement of their rejoycing, and they continue lively still: for abatement of their power, and they continue as strong as e­ver: [Page 97]for abatement of their number, and they are rather multiplied, and increase. But though it bee an easie matter for them to be lively, be­ing so strong as they are; and to bee strong; being so many as they are: yet how easie is it for thee, O God, by thy Spirit of life, to strike a dump into their livelinesse; by thy Almigh­tinesse, to suppresse their strength; by thy In­finitenesse, to confound their number: and why then should I bee afraid what mine ene­mies can doe unto mee? why should I bee frighted with an arm of flesh? But that which is most strange of all, Verse 20 they hate mee without a cause: as if one should say; Their hatred to mee is miraculous: an effect, without a cause: for what cause of hatred, where such motives of love? I seeke to doe them good, I follow the thing that is good, and yet they hate mee. And yet this is no wonder, for is it not sayd, Qui male agit, odit lucem? They that do evill hate the light? and if hate the light, how can they chuse but hate the children of light? That it appeares to bee cause enough to the wicked, to hate the godly, if they discerne in them but any sparkes of godlinesse: and then if this bee the case, that I must either be wicked my selfe, or else bee hated of the wicked: I shall never stand long in making my choice, seeing I shall never certainly buy their love so deere. But since they are generations of vipers, and ren­der mee evill for good: at least, O Lord, doe not thou forsake mee; be not thou farre from [Page 98]mee: for as long as thou art on my side, and stayest by mee, what though the waters roare, and the mountaines shake with the swelling therof? What though the bulls of Basan com­passeme, and the strong bulls be set me round: seeing thou art able to deliver mee from their fury, and from the hands of all that hate me.

But O my soule, thou maist call long enough to God, not to bee farre from thee, and all in vaine, if thou bee farre from him. Take heed therefore, it bee not found true in thee, which hee sometimes sayd: This people draweth neere mee with their lips, but their hearts are far from mee: for if thou bee neere him onely with thy lips, such neerenesse will do thee small good: it is not the neighbourhood of lips that hee cares for: but if thou wilt have him not to be farre from thee, Verse 22 thou must bee carefull that thy heart be not farre from him. And yet nei­ther is this enough, O God, that thou bee not farre from me, if thou stand but onely looking on, and makest not haste to helpe me: Thy slownesse may bee as prejudiciall to mee, as thy being farre off: for alas, mine enemies are ready to devoure mee, and they that seeke af­ter my soule, make haste. Doe thou therefore, O God, make haste also, & be not slower then mine enemies: neither let thy love, be out-run by their hatred. But O my soul, why shouldst thou require God to make such haste, as though thou wouldst as it were surprize him on a suddaine? Alas, is God like man, that hee [Page 99]should stand in need of time to consider? Are there Secundae cogitationes with him, as there are with men? Is there any thing that can be suddaine, or unlookt for to him? Although therefore hee bee slow to anger, yet hee is ne­ver slow to mercy; but for shewing of mercy, hee hath the wings of a Dove, and rides upon the winde. And seeing, O God, thou art able and canst doe it; O shew thy selfe willing also, and be forward to doe it: Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation: Make haste to helpe me, that thou maist be Lord of my salva­tion; lest I fall into mine enemies hands, that would be lords of my destruction: or rather, make haste to helpe me, O Lord, Thou that art my salvation: for untill thou come, I am, alas, a servant of sin, and a bondslave to Sathan, that would bee my destruction.