The first parte, of the eyghth liberall science: entituled, Ars adulandi, the arte of flatterie with the confutation therof, both very pleasaunt and profitable, deuised and compiled, by Vlpian Fulwell.

The first parte, of the eyghth liberall science: entituled, Ars adulandi, the arte of flatterie with the confutation therof, both very pleasaunt and profitable, deuised and compiled, by Vlpian Fulwell.

Table of contents

¶ A Dialogue betweene the Author and his Muse, as touching the dedication of this booke.

To the Right noble and vertuous Lady, the Lady Mildred Burleigh, VVife vnto the right honorable Lorde Treasorer of England, Vlpian Fulwell wisheth perfect Felicitie.

To the Freendly Reader, Ulpian FullWell.

¶ A discription of the seuen liberall Sciences, into whose company the eight hath intruded her selfe.

❧ The first Dialogue betweene the Author and the Printer.

The seconde Dialogue betweene the Author, and Lady Fortune.

¶ Fulwels farewell vnto dame Fortune.

¶ The thirde Dialogue, between the Author and a Frier.

The fourth Dialogue betweene the Author, and Fortunatus.

❧ The fifth Dialogue, betweene Pierce Pickthanke, drunken Dickon. Dame Annat the Alewife, and the Author.

❧ The sixth Dialogue, betweene Diogenes, and Ulpianus. Wherin is expressed vnder the person of the Author, the simplicity of such as thinke the Courte to preferre all that flocke vnto it, which after experience had therof, is found an vnfit place for simple persons of grosse education.

❧ The seuenth Dialogue, betweene Tom Tapster, Miles makeshift, VVat VVily, and the Author.

❧ A▪ short Dialogue, betweene the Authour and his booke, wherin is shewed sundry opinions that were vttered of the first Impression of this booke, which the Authour him selfe hearde in Paules Church yeard. and else where.

The eyghth Dialogue, betweene Si•… Symon the Parson of Poll Iobbam, and the Authour.

¶ A Dialogue betweene the Author and his Muse, as touching the dedication of this booke.

[Page]

[Page]

Authour

MY fréendly Muse leaue Parnas hill a while,

I craue thy ayde and counsayle now at neede:

L end mee thy laurel crown to gui [...]e my stile,

DRED driues my minde to doubt of lucky speed

May I be bold this rude booke to addres,

To her who is a Mirror of worthinesse.

Musa.

B lush not at all (thou dastard) in this case,

V nto the best, best welcome is goodwill,

R efrayne thy doubtes, and hope for fauours grace,

G iue mee the charge to rule thy rusty quill:

LEY all thy care vpon her curtesie:

Whose noble hart knowes all humanity.

Authour.

Thy wordes (my Muse) some hope of hap doth yéeld,

But yet I feele a conflict in my brest:

And whether part may win in mee the féelde,

My staggering doubt vncertayne yet doth rest:

Before mine eyes a platforme doth appeare,

Of all her worthynesse as thou shalt heare.

If learning may lifte vp her fame to skies,

Her laude is sent vnto the highest throne:

If vertue vaunt, a lofte hir honor flies,

In godlines hir like is rarely knowne,

For noble nature, and for curtesie,

What should I say, my pen cannot descry.

May I not then bee ouer saucy déemd,

To make a match as this so far vnfit.

May I haue hope my booke to bee estéemd,

That shewes not forth one dramme of skill ne wit:

Nay, nay, my Muse, I am resolude in minde:

My vndeserts, shall slender fauour finde.

Mus [...].

Ah simple sot, I cannot choose but smile,

To see how thou doost maske in follies n [...]t:

[Page]

[...]

[Page]

[...]

[Page] Thou séemst abashed of thy homely stile,

Learne this of mée, and doo it not forget,

Where learned skill her golden gyftes doo place:

Good will vnlearned shall finde fauours grace.

Where vertue kéepes possession of the brest,

And godlinesse doth harbour in the hart,

Scorne is exylde, shée doth disdaine detest,

From noble nature, fauour doth not start.

Shun not to shew the fruites of thy good will,

No shame ensues where meaning is not yll.

The simple beast that feares the Lious lookes,

Is flesht at length by fauour once obtaynde:

Though (as thou sayst) vnskilfull bée thy bookes,

Yet thou ere this hast fauours fréendship gainde.

Her noble spouse, thy booke did not disdayne,

While in thy brest like skirmish did remaine.

Where Milde is first, Rede then what doth ensue,

Milde mindes are alwayes matcht with curtesie:

Dread not at all, shée will vouchsafe to vew

Thy booke if thou approche with modesty,

No tricke of loue or Venus wanton toyes.

Are herein pend, to féede fonde louers ioyes.

If coy conceit of curious eloquence,

Had [...]xed foote within her learned minde:

Then were it time for thée to fly from hence,

To hunt for termes that hardly thou maist finde.

But why doo I, to thee this lesson tell,

Shée is none such, and that thou knowest full w [...]ll.

Then on I goe, God sende mée lucky spéede,

In humble wise, to craue her fauours grace:

Adew dispaire, on hope my hart shall féede,

With full assurance of her fréendly face.

And this I vow, and shall perfourme thesame,

In prayer to recorde her noble name.

While life doth last.

To the Right noble and vertuous Lady, the Lady Mildred Burleigh, VVife vnto the right honorable Lorde Treasorer of England, Vlpian Fulwell wisheth perfect Felicitie.

[Page]

WHen I had taken a view (right honorable and vertuous Lady) of the great and greeuous enormities, that issue from the filthy fountaine of pestilent flattery, the practitioners wherof (as it is sayde) are the moste pernitious of al tame Beastes, I was iustly moued, or rather vrged in conscience, to display the wicked and impudent exercises of the flattering floake in these dayes: Not that I thinke my selfe the meetest man to take this charge in hand (beeing very rude both in phrase & also inuention) but rather to call the fine sorte of writers that now swarm in England, to leaue the currant handling of Venus Pageants (wherin they shew their excellency) and prosecute this, so necessary matter to bee inueied at, as a pestilent weede in a pleasant Garden, most necessary to bee Irradicate.

I shall not neede to flye to the Poet Homer for his ayde in discription of the Syrens, seeinge that thus our vnhappy age is furnished with Mermaydes, whose luring songes yeeld such daynty and delicate tunes to the eares of ambitious & vaine glorious people, that while they seeme to swim in the flood of Fortune, they sinke in the stinking puddle of folly: but the wiser sorte follow the example of Vlisses for the auoydinge of their sweete venemous enchauntmentes. And as it is well knowen that your L. haue stopte your eares against their magicall incantations, as a patterne of prudence [Page] and discretion, for others, (both therin and in all other commendable vertues) to imitate: So I am bold, humbly to desire your honour to bee my Patronesse in this my inuectiue against that liberal science, which though I haue (by a contrarye) termed it the E [...]ghth liberall Science, not that it contayneth in it any liberalitye of vertue or honest knowledge, yet because benefites are so liberally contributed vnto it (as dayly experience sheweth.) And if any Scycophant wil captiously turne vpon mee, the pyke of this edge toole, for any thing in this Epistle vnto your L contayned, I doubt not but easely to auoyde his assault, with a great multitude of witnesses. For the abandoning of which filthy Arte, I refrayne to write that which common knowledge and publike report do of your L. worthinesse dayly testify. And although I may seeme very presumtuous, to aspire to so noble a Patronesse, with so slender a present to so learned a Lady, with so rude a Treatise, yet the great curtesie that I haue both seene & receiued at your L. handes, hath enforced mee to expresse my du etifull gratuity, with this my very simple & vnpolished peece of worke, in the acceptation wherof, I shalbe moste bounden vnto your honour, with my humble & harty prayer vnto almighty God, both for you and my good Lorde, whom God preserue to the inestimable comfort of the common wealth of this Realme.

Your Honours most humble. Vlpian FulWell.

To the Freendly Reader, Ulpian FullWell.

[Page]

I Doubt not at al (gentle Reader) but that I, for my industry in detecting this eyghth liberall Science, shall bee reputed with many sapientum octauus, the eyghth wise man: that is as wise as Will Sommer, but I shall contente my selfe with such reputacion, rather chosing to be truthes drudge, then Fortunes flattering dearling. And I can not but greatly lamente, that so many in these dayes doo so adict themselues to the filthy trade of flattery, whereby both Noble men, Gentlemen, and good natured men are abused: & fooles flatterers, dissemblers and gesters, noseled in impudency, and nourished by petty theeuery, like the waspe that liueth vpon the labour of the paynefull Bee. And although such Waspes will for this my labour doo their endeuour to stinge mee for my paine: yet I will bee so bold with them as to tell thee (gentle Reader) what they are. Such they are as lye at receite for the fruites of other mens desertes. They catche the birdes, for the which other men beate the bush, and such they are, as with their detestable practice of flattery, withdrawe men from the study of vertue.

And this their execrable science hath so peruerted the [...] of many in this age, and hath taken [Page] such habit in mans affections: that it is in moste men altera natura, and very difficile to bee expelled: yea, the very sucking babes hath a kinde of adulation towardes their Nurses for the dugge, which (in my iudgement) commeth vnto them by corruption of nature: and as they grow in reason, so they increase therin, vntill in time it is turned frō greene and tender addulation, to ripe and perfect dissimulation, except by good education the same bee preuented. If I should generally condemne all men of this foule crime, I might iustly be blamed, yet may I bouldly say, that in comparison of the multitude, very few there are, whose hartes and tongues are not stayned with the blemish of flattery and the brāches therof: namely dissimulatiō, deceit, wicked perswations, with such other like sinisters practis. How common a thing is it, to see one man embrace another with such freendly salutacions, as though they were knit in the insoluble knot of perfect frend ship, and yet a man may buy as much loue at Byllingsgate for a boxe on the eare.

How shifte some men with goulden wordes to promisse, and how slacke to performe: how easie to haue a freend in wordes, and how hard to finde one in deedes: And certes, if I should particulerly descend to the very Begger, I should both bee too tedious in this Epistle, and also publish the effecte of my seconde parte of this matter, (as yet to come.) Desiringe thee not to wreste my woordes [Page] vnto a worse sence, then my playne meaninge hath pretended: and where thou findest this name Fortune, my meaning is the selfesame blinde Māmon, that the Poets speake of, vnder whose name and person, they comprehend earthly prosperitie, which wee daily see to bee vnegally, and vndiscretly distributed: and her stately pallace, is the wide worlde, wherunto all men haue ingresse and egresse: and thus dooing, thou shalt both gratify my desire, and hasten mee forth vnto my second part: Until which time (gentle Reader,) I pray thee let not this my beginninge offend thee, except thou be one of them that is here rubbed on the gall: but trustinge that thou art one of Lady Truethes retinue, I submit my labour vnto thy censure, wishing thee thy harts desire in God. Vale.

Vlpian Fulwell

¶ A discription of the seuen liberall Sciences, into whose company the eight hath intruded her selfe.

[Page]

Grammer.

IF learning may delight thy youthfull brest

If tender yeares to skilfull lore bee bent

Approche to mee, voutchsafe to bee my guest:

My entertaynement shall thy minde content.

My key in hand shall ope the gate of skill,

My Booke on brest shall teach thy tongue and quill.

Logick.

FRom Grammers Schoole approch to mee with speede,

Where thou maist learne the rule to reason right,

I geue the fruit, though Grammer sow the seede:

In mee thou maist decerne the darke from light.

My fastened fist much matter doth import,

Coucht in few wordes fit for the learned sort.

Rethorick.

WHen Grammers grace, and Logickes learned lore,

Hath deckt thy minde, and mended nature well,

My golden study shall yeeld thee such store,

Of flowing wordes and phrases that excell.

Lo here with open hand I do display,

The flowing flood of eloquence alway.

Musick.

WHen mistie clowde of drouping dumpish head

[Page] Doth driue thy minde to plunge in pensiue poole,

The clog of care that soking sorowes bread,

Is cleane shakte of, by entring to my Schoole.

My dainty tunes do yeeld such sugred sap,

As drawes ech blisse, and driues eche foule mishap.

Arrithmetick.

BY Sciphering Science, lo my summes I cast,

By wit and weight, I wonderous thinges contriue,

With bunch of keyes, my counts are lockt vp fast:

In mee thou maist see how thy wealth doth thriue.

My armes and brest, my legs eke naked bee,

To shew that trueth and plainenesse rests in mee.

Astronomy.

FRom earthly skill vnto the lofty skies,

My globe and I, will shew the lore of light

Thou shalt foresee what tempest will arise,

To thee such secrets shall appeare in sight.

That Starres and Planets shall thy matesremain,

And thou a fellow with celestiall traine.

Geometry.

BEholde the Compasse and the other tooles,

Wherwith I worke such wonders as seeme straunge,

My Rule and Quadrant, are no bookes for fooles,

A learned scull must in my precepts range.

Now when thou hast vs Sisters seauen obtainde.

A worlde of wealth and wisdome thou hast gainde.

[Page]

Adulatior, or flatterie.

BEholde the bragges that Sisters seauen haue made,

Suruiew their vaunts that seeme to shine so bright

My glittering skill shall clips them in the shade:

In mee appeares the beames of perfect light.

My flattering tongue shall gaine more then they all,

I geue the trip and they shall take the fall.

Grammarians gaine nought els but bread and cheese,

Per [...]hance dame Logick haue a small reward,

Nete Eloquence will pleade for slender fees:

Nice Musick as a Minstrel men regard.

Arrithmatick obtaines but litle thrift,

Astronomy serues for a simple shift.

Geometrie may iog on barrels bun,

And drinke the dregs when liquor al is spent,

My golden Art the game and gole hath won:

To my sweete skill, eche hart and eare is bent.

The Well of wealth my Science doth contriue,

Then learne my lore all ye that meane to thriue.

To mee doth flow the flood of happy state,

In mee is matcht a masse of worldly blisse,

No sturdy storme my fauour may abate:

For Princely eares my presence may not misse.

I spin the threed and weaue the web of hap,

And none but I may sit in Fortunes lap.

❧ The first Dialogue betweene the Author and the Printer.

[Page]

Author.

FVll well I do finde, that Fortune is blinde, her wheele runnes by chaunce:

VVhen shee list to frown, the wise she throwes downe, and fooles doth aduaunce.

Printer.

SIr, I doo not a litle maruayle that you séeme so to blame Fortune, whose fauour, I suppose, you haue sufficiently enioyed from time to time, wherfore (mée séemeth) you shew your selfe very vnthankeful for her good gifts on you bestowed.

Author.

In déede, my olde fellow and fréend W. H. (I déeme you are guided by this Prouerbial reason,) Fortune fauoureth fooles, Ergo Fortune fauoureth Fulwell, but all olde Prouerbes are not alwayes true, for then should I be very fortunate, but I will render vnto thée the cause that I am out of her grace and fauour.

Printer.

Sir, I pray you let mée craue that curtesie at your handes, so may I happely learne the cause why shée is my professed enemy also.

Author.

First thou must vnderstand, that I was seruant a longtime vnto Lady Hope, who in fine, was minded to preferre mee vnto the seruice of Lady Fortune, & when my sayd Maistres perceiued that this blinde Goddesse was determined to entertaine certaine men into her seruice, & bestow on them very liberally, shée sente mée to Fortune, with her letter of cōmendaciōs, the tenure wherof ensueth

¶ Most bountifull Lady and my good Cosin (Dame Fortune) your approoued frendship towardes mee at all times extended, emboldneth mee to write vnto you at this presente [Page] in the behalfe of this bearer U. F. my seruaunt, whom to preferre vnto your Ladiships seruice, is my desire, and earnest suite vnto you, of whose approoued fidelity (vtterly voyde of dissimulation and flatterie) I geue you warrantize, and in entertaininge of him you shall do mee a very acceptable good turne. Thus with harty salutacions, I wishe you as vnto my selfe, from my house at N.

By your very louing [...] Cosin Lady Hope.

Printer.

Truely this was a very louing letter, and (in my iudgement) you were happy to haue so freendly a Maistresse. I maruaile that vpon the deliuery of this letter vnto Lady Fortune, shee made not you chiefe ruler & orderer of her house.

Author.

Nay nay, one clause of this letter dasht al the rest, and made mee lose my golden seruice.

Printer.

What clause was it I pray you?

Author.

These are the words that marde all, (vtterly voyde of flattery and dissimulation.)

Printer.

Why? then I perceiue that slattery and dissimulation is the way to win Fortunes fauour, and certis now I see plainely the cause that I haue bene alwayes alienated Fortune fauoreth none [...] [...]atterers from her fauour, and a continuall subiecte to her frownes. But I pray you, had you a [...]at denial at the first, or els by some prety sleight of circumstance.

Author.

I wil disclose vnto thée the order of my comming to b [...]r Court, and of my entertainment there. At my first entry into her Court, I set aside bashfulnes, knowing that boldnes hath more free passage into the Court gates. Thē with y• Courtlikest fashiō that I could, (béeing indéed more cart [...]rlike thē Courtier like) I prest my self into the Chā ber of presence, my thréedbare cloke was markt of many, & y• rest of my attire agréeable therunto, was mockt of most, but specially of them that swinged vp & downe in brauery of other mens cost, and I was thought very saucy and malapert. And amonge the rest, one lusty Courtiour (whose [Page] name as I vnderstood afterwards, was double Diligence) Double [...]. asked of mée how I durst presume to iussel my balde cloake by their braue garments. Sir (sayd I) the basenes of mine doth encrease the beauty of yours. This gentleman was so prowd of his Pecocks plewms, that to ostend his brauery by my contrary, was willinge to walke and talke with mée in the Chamber of presēce, vnto whom at last I brake my minde, and the cause of my comming to the Court, and when hée vnderstood that I had letters to Dame Fortune from her Cosin Lady Hope, he welcomed mee very fréendly, and with small intreatie became my Soliciter vnto his Maistresse the Lady Fortune: by meanes wherof I was called into the presence of this blinde Goddesse, whom whē I saw, I found the Poets and painters true men and not lyers, for shee was muffled from her chin to the top of her temples, & it so fell out that as I came in, shée was blindly in bestowing of her guiftes, in such sorte, as I haue seene the Préest in time past, deale holy bread, shée gaue to much to very many, but ynough to none, Superfluity sate alofte, but Sacietie was shut in prison, and as did the rest, so did I holde out my hand for her beneuolence. I gaped wide, but other snatched vp the benefits before they fel to the groūd, I stretched forth my arme & opened my hand, but I could [...] finger nothing, shée crossed my hand with many bare blessinges, but the giftes fell on both sides of my fist and non [...] right: it rayned pottage, but I wanted a dish: there might I sée howe some of William Sommers kynred had their handes full, Pierce Pickthanke filled his purse, Fraunces the Flatterer flourished in wealth, Crispin the Counterfai [...] was compted a ioly fellow▪ Dauy Dissembler had wealth at will and in great estimacion, but to resite y• detestable crew of fooles, flatterers, and parasites, that receiued giftes o [...] this blinde Lady Fortune, would be to tedious to discribe. At last I espide in a corner all solitarely, a beautifull Lady of cumly feature, in very modest attire, and shée noting my simplicitie, amongst such a sorte of snatching companions, come hyther thou simple foole F. (quod shée) for thou art very

[...]

[Page] the second pride, the thirde ambition, and they so preuayled, that my trayne became freends with her, and rebelled agaynst mée. Thus was shee aduaunced, and I throwne downe, then was I compelled to seeke my habitation among temporal princes, and noble peeres but my enemies were so mighty, that they constrayned many potentates, to haue of mée small regard, yet the deuine power so prouided for mee, that I was not, nor am not vtterly fréendles, and béeinge aduertised by a Sister of mine, named Ladye Vertue, that I am had in great veneration at this time within the realme of England, I am determined to addres my iurney, as wel for the singular good report that I hear of the most renowmed Queene of that realme, compar [...] to the godly and vertuous Queene of Saba (Elizabeth by name) as also for the good hope of welcome vnto that famous nacion. And in this wandring pilgrimage, I chanced vpon this Pallace of blinde Fortune (as thou now séest wherin I haue noted great liberality with no lesse parcialitie, wise men beate the bush and fooles catch the birdes, valiaunt men cracke the nuttes, but cowards eat the curnels. Thus as I sit, I sée and smile therat. Among the rest, I saw when Homer came vnto this Court, accompanied with the nine Muses, vnto whom I stept (knowing [...] hi [...] intente) and like coole Prophet vttered vnto him these wordes.

[...].

Friend Homer though you seeme to come with garde of Muses nine,

Bringe you nought els? nay then adewe, goe feede amonge the swine.

AND full truely prooued this prophesie, for while he was liuing, hée was litle regard [...]d i [...] this Court, but béeing dead, the great conqueror Alexander spake of him much worship. And so it fareth [...], [...] men are not wanted, till they are lodged in their graues. And although [Page] I know full well, that there resteth in thee no extraordinary wisdome, nor scant so much as should serue thy turn, yet the experience that I haue in this Courte, and by the coniecture of thy nature, I dare assure thee thou shalt haue a coulde sute, if thou haue ought to dooinge with Ladye Fortune.

Madame (quod I) I haue attentiuely harkened vnto The Author exhorteth Lady Trueth to come into England. your tale euen from the beginning, and am sory for your misfortunes, which to redresse I would it in mee rested. And if it bee your Ladiships pleasure to repayre vnto the Realme of Englande I will bee your man, and I doubte not but there you shalbe entertayned very noblye, bothe in the Court, Citie, and Countrey. Notwithstanding (good Madame) I will bee so saucy as to beshrew you for your prophesie agaynst mee in this my sute vnto Ladye Fortune, because I know that your woordes cannot bee false, you beeinge as you are (Lady Trueth) notwithstanding voyde of all hope. I will approche vnto her with my message, and then will I keepe my promise in waytinge on your good Ladyship. Now fréende Printer, if you list to heare howe I speede, reade this Dialogue followinge.

The seconde Dialogue betweene the Author, and Lady Fortune.

[Page]

Author.

Haphazard dame Fortune, your wheele runnes to fast,

You lifte vp a foole, and a wiseman downe cast.

FOrtune.

What malapart iacke is it that so saucely checketh my dooings: it were more fit for him to sit by the héeles in the porters lodge [...]linde Fortunes coma [...]on almes. then so presumptuously to prate in our presēce Althouhh I winke, yet am not I so blinde, but that I can perceiue thy bold approching aboue thy degrée.

Author.

Deare Lady Fortune, as I am sory for that I haue so sodainly offended you, euen so I am right ioyus for your sodaine depriuation from your blindnes, trusting that your Ladiship will y• rather vouchsafe to peruse these letters that I bringe vnto you from my good Lady & Maistresse, the Lady Hope.

Fortune.

If thou be seruaunt vnto my Cosine Ladye Hope, thou art the better welcome to my presence, and I pardon thy former saucines. But before I peruse this letter, tell mee what is thy name, and by what frendshippe thou were admitted into this place, béeing clad in so simple attier?

Author.

Deare Lady, the first letter of my first name beginneth with this letter V. signifiyng vnfortunate, and my surname is Fulwell, which béeinge ioyned togeather, is Vnfortunate Fulwell. And as touching my approching into your presence, so it is that I fulfilled the olde prouerb (who so bolde as blinde Bayarde, but I came not to this place without a backe burthen of mockes and tauntes.

Fortune.

While thou hast bin telling thy tale, I haue [...] [...]mon ex [...]se I would you had cum [...]. perused the letter, and considered the contentes therof, and I wish thou hadst come a litle sooner, while I was in dealinge of my doale, that somwhat might haue fallen to thy share.

Author.

In déede Madam, as somwhat hath some sauor, [Page] so nothing doth no harm, but I was present at your doale▪ and yet may carry away my gaines in mine eye, and not blemish my sight. I confesse your hand blessed mee verye often, but I feele no vertue to consist therin, so that I can make no great brags of my gaynes at your handes.

Fortune.

Right now thou madest confession of thy boldnesse, what soddaine bashfulnes possessed thee, that thou fearedst to snatch out of my handes, as well as others.

Author.

Truly Madam I was neuer instructed in the schoole of scamblinge, and now I am to olde to learne, but quietly to stand at receit to take vp nothing.

Fortune.

Then art thou vtterly vnable to thriue in Many haue not learned to thriue. these dayes, but now to the purpose, my Cosin Lady Hope hath written vnto mee very freendly in thy behalf, that I should take thee into my seruice, but one clause therin conteyned maketh mée déeme thée very vnfit for my Court.

Author.

May it please your Ladiship to shew me wherin my vnabilitie consisteth.

Fortune.

As thou sayst, thy name is Vnfortunate Fulwell, so I perceiue thy destenies agrée therunto, for except All sauinge flatterers are vnfit to serue in Fortunes Court. thou bée skilfull in the Eyghth liberall science, thou canst not enioy either wealth or any speciall fauour.

Author.

Truely Madam, I haue beene a block bedly scholler all dayes of my life, and not vtterly ignorante in some of the seauen liberall sciences, although cunning in none of them al, but certes of the eighth I neuer heard vn till now, wherby I see the longer a man liueth the more hée may learne. Wherfore I pray you Madam voutchsafe The eyghth liberall sciēce the nature of it, & vvherin it most con [...]steth. to let mée vnderstand somewhat of this science at your handes.

Fortune.

For thy Maistresse sake I will do so much for thée, it is called ars adulandi, and well deserueth to bée reckoned among the liberal sciences and may bée called Sciencia liberalissima, because it hath more liberalitie contributed vnto it then is to any other Art, and of it selfe liberally bestoweth her skill on as many as are willing to study the same. It consisteth more in practises then on preceptes, [Page] and the first principle of it is this, q [...]i nesc [...] si [...]lare nesci [...] viuere. Hée that knoweth not how t [...] dissemble cannot [...] how to liue. Now that I haue directed thee thus farre in this science, go study the same diligently, and practise it effectually, and then come vnto my court agayne.

Author.

But is there any vniuersitie wherin this sci [...]e, is studied:

Fortune.

It is both studied and practised throughout the The world is full of such Graduates. world, & thou maist haue enstructers in euery citie, towne, village, and bamlet, yea, & almost in euery priuate house, wherfore learne with speede, or els liue like a very foole, and so farewell, for I can no longer attend thee.

¶ Fulwels farewell vnto dame Fortune.

FArewell thou froward frowning dame, the fautor still of fooles:

A list not learne thy fawning lo [...]re, I loth thy flattering schooles:

For tract of time by tryed truth, shall turne thy whirlinge wheele,

And throw him from thy [...]ickle [...]on, to tomble at thy heele.

My dreary date shall driue the line, to A [...]ops fatall blade,

E [...] I vnto thy [...]lthy art, will frame my liuing trade:

Let greedy neede make olde wiues [...]rot, to [...]ill their rusty [...]:

Let Gnato feede his hungry pan [...]he, I list not to bee such.

Let Aristippu [...] cogging skill, the ytching e [...]res still r [...]:

And I with playne Diogenes, wil tumble in a Tub.

Where wee with rootes wil take repast, with conscience cleare possest▪

Before [...]ne [...]are▪ with tongue in mouth, quite from the heart in brest.

[...]ew therfore thou doting dame, I da dis [...]ine thy skill:

And while I liue agaynst thy lore, I will direct my quill▪

Thy fruite with [...]lthy taste is fraught, yet faire to view of eyes:

Wherunder priuy poyson larkes, and secret [...]enime lyes.

The sap is sweete and pleasant ban [...], yet feedes the foolish minde:

Such graffes so set on rotten stackes, such fruite must yeeld by kinde,

I rather choose the homely dish that holesome drinke doth holde:

Then sugred wine with poyson saust, in cup of glittering gold [...].

As thou hast alwayes scornd my state, so I doo thee disdayne:

That pleasure is to dearely bought, that purchast is with payne.

And glorious though thy gyftes appeare, yet tickle is the stay:

And hatefull heartes pursues with grudge, thy golden giftes alway.

And when thy wrinkled for [...]hed frownes vpon the welthy wight:

What sot is hee so s [...]ple then, that shewes not forth his spight.

[Page] Then hee poore wretch that erst was set full nicely in thy lap:

Lyes prostrate at ethe Peasants foote, to wayle his wofull hap▪

When flud of wealth is turnd to [...]b, what greater greefe may bee:

Two contraries extreamely plaste, doth ay full yll agree.

Soo hee that hath bene [...]nely fed with sweetenes of thy bower:

Most greeuously sustaynes the chaunge, when hee castes of the sower.

The meane estate, that thee contemnes, in stedfast boat doth row:

The Ship in safegard most doth passe, that beares her sayles but low

And for my part, I force thee not, thy frownes I can sustaine:

For if thou cause my sp [...]y fall. I fall but in the playne.

This vantage then I haue by right, to vaunt where euer I goe:

That I may [...]it and smyle at thee, that haue deceiud [...] th [...] soe.

But most of all I must needes muse, that wis [...]n seeke thy grace:

Sith troubles so attend on them that haue thy freendly face▪

But some can vse thee in thy kinde, whom thou hast [...]uely [...]

And are not now to learne I trow to bring a babe to bed.

Let them that lyst that hazard try, and trust in thee repose:

As I by thee no ga [...]nes doo seeke, so nothing will I lose.

And thus farewell, I [...]ll returne to Lady Hope agayne:

And for a token I thee sende, a dotinge Figge of Spayn [...].

FINIS.

¶ The thirde Dialogue, between the Author and a Frier.

[Page]

Author.

A Fox or a Frier, who fasting doth meete:

Presageth yll Fortune to lie at his feete.

FRier.

In very deede that olde prouerb is not to bee disproued, for I dare auouch the trueth therof, A gentle and true in terpre tation. and yet (gentill s [...]rra) it is not as you vnderstand it, for I know you consture it as thus: if you meete with mee or such as I am, or with a Fox in a morning (you beeing fasting) that then it prognosticateth yll luck [...] vnto you that daye, but the true construction is cleane contrary, and is thus to bee vnderstood. If you meete with a Fox in a morninge that hath not broken her fast, or a Frier that goeth from the place where hée was harbored without eating any thing, it may well protend some misfortune. For a Fox purloyneth all the night, and returneth to her Berry with a full paunch: And a Frier issueth not out of the doores without his brea [...]fast both in his belly and in his budget for failyng.

Author.

I am right ioyous that I haue met with so noble a Doctor this morning, at whose handes I haue already learned one lesson, and by whose company I hope to attaine more skill. I pray you Maister Frier let mee be your companion this day, for I am already enflamed with the loue of your company.

Frier.

Is thy businesse so stender, that thou maist intend to walke with mée at randon?

Author.

My businesse is soone dispatcht, for I haue nought to dooynge this day but to make loytringe pinnes.

Frier.

In fayth good fellow, then, then is thy occupacion and mine much alike, and mee seemeth by thy attire, thou thriuest but slowly with thy trade, or els thou art one of them that cannot thriue for shame, howbeit (because thou seemest to hee a good fellow) I will for good fellowships sake teach vnto thee the eighth liberal science, which [Page] is a very profitable art, wherin (I iudge by thy estate) thou art vtterly ignorant.

Author.

And are you maister Frier, a studient in that Science?

Frier.

Yea sir that am I, and in degree aboue a studient, A Doctor in knaucry. for I am an auncient practicioner therin, and thinke my selfe sufficiencie to proceede Doctor in that faculty, so good an opinion I haue of my selfe.

Author.

It is like that you are very well séene in the olde liberall Sciences, and in other good studies, that you are so excellent in this new found Arte.

Frier.

Nay verely, I count him a foole that beateth his braines about many matters, and hath no excellency in any one, wherfore I haue set aside all other studies to attayne to the very perfection of this onely Arte, wherby I am welcome whersoeuer I come. The name of it is, ar [...] adulandi, The arte of Flattery. And there belongeth vnto it, glosinge, cogginge, doublenes, dissimulation, iestinge and railinge, with many other branches as in practise is very easie to bee learned. But euery man that weeneth to win credit by his art, may not bée rashe in makinge his Some one to be follovved. choyse of these branches, least hée bée espied, and so discredit himselfe. I will not mention vnto thée of the courtiers practise, nor of the homely Country mans handling of his matters, nor of any others, but I will reueale vnto thee which of these branches I haue chosen, and how I vse it.

Author.

My eares are prepared to heare your discourse I pray you begin.

Frier.

Thou knowest that it is my profession to wander as a pilgrim, from place to place, and am an authorised begger, my coule is my pasport, and my shauen crowne my credit. And when I first began to wander, I was vtterly vnskilful in this art before mencioned, at what time my order was to geue holsome & godly counsell vnto my good Dames of the Country, and would sumtimes checke their wanton children, when I saw them rude and lassiuious, insomuch that at the laste, when I was espied comminge [Page] into any Uillage, the children, yea and their mothers also would shut their doores agaynst mee. I (knowinge the A bold geste. cause of their dislikinge mee) was so sau [...]y as to draw the latch, and boldely entred into the house, for I was as perfect of the way in, and also of euery corner in the house, as was the good wife her self. This was no poore mans house but a good fat Farmer, and my Dame was a lusty wench and had a rowling eye. And when I came into the Hall, there was shee and her two daughters with her, the elder of them beeing but twelue yeares of age, and the yonger ten yeares olde, and her onely sonne lyinge in the Cradle. God blesse my good Dame (quod I) and God be heare. &c. Let it not offende you (my good Dame) that I rushe in so boldely vnto you, for I was this night warned by God in A counter [...] [...]ait reuelation. a vision, to bringe you good tydinges, and the spirite that appeared vnto mee reuealed as I haue already found, the woordes that hee spake were these. Frier Frances, I charge thee that this day about ten of the clocke in the forenoone, thou repaire to thy good ben [...]factor I. G. and will her stedfastly beleeue, that whatsoeuer thou shalt say vnto her, is as true as the Gospell, and at thy first comminge, thou shalt finde her doores shut against thee, notwithstandinge, enter in boldly, & thou shalt finde her & her three children with her in the Hall, but her husband shal bee at Plowe in the fielde (which I new before I came thither) & thou shalt say vnto her, set your seruantes that are about your house, to such worke as they may not come to heare the secretes that I haue to reueale, and also let your two daughters bée [...]ecluded from our presence, and then (Frier Frances) I will sende to thy minde what thou shalt say.

Author.

Truely this is a proper ceremonial beginning, but was shée not doubtfull least some body shoulde come in and take you so suspiciously togeather.

Frier.

Nay, wee Friers are at a good point for such matters we ar not suspected because we are accoūted men mortified [...] fleshly lusts, & are authorised to shreue both mē & womē.

Author.

Latet anguis in Herb [...], I doubt least vnder your [Page] cloake of simplicitie, lurketh a huge heape of subtilty, and I feare mee least you be one of them that Saint Paule mencioneth in the second Epistle to Timothi in the third Cha. who with external holynes, and internal filthines, deuour the soules of the simple, whose wordes are these There are some which créepe into houses, and leade captiue simple women laden with sinnes and lead with diuers lustes &c. And also vnto Titus in the first Chapter, as thus. There are many disobedient and vaine talkers, and deceiuers of mindes, which subuerte whole houses, teachinge thinges which they ought not, for filthy lukers sake. Notwithstandinge (Maister Frier) I praye you procéede with your discourse, and wee will set Saint Paule aside till you haue done.

Frier.

Tush, tush, I was a preacher of Peter and Paule More profite in flattering, then in preaching Gods worde. a great while, vntill the world was weary of mee, but I finde more profit in this Science ten to one, as in the ende thou shalt perceiue. And now to return to my good dame G. agayne, when wée were by our selues, then called I my wittes togeather, how I might set a face of honestye vpon my pretensed Reu [...]lation, affirming that I speak nothing of my selfe, but by diuine inspiration. You are (quoth I) at this present cōceiued with a sonne in your womb, which Hipocrisic cloaked vnder Religio [...] childe is predestinate to bee a noble peere of this lande, and shall aduaunce your whole linage to great honor and dignities, and you shall liue to see those happy dayes. Your selfe shal haue soueraignitie (the thing that women chiefly desire.) Your two daughters shalbe Ladyes of greate renowne, and haue many suters come vnto thē for to get their good willes in marriage, and that of no meane persons, and I trust (as olde as I am to see this litle boy in the Cradle (God blesse him) bee of greate estimation in this Country.

This Newes so rauisht the hart of my Dame, that shee thought her selfe immediatly halfe way to Heauen, supposing that I had beene the Angell Gabriell. Then had I the best cheare in the house set before mee, and who then but [Page] Maister Frier Frances?

Author.

Mée thinke this was a blinde policy, and sounded in her eares incredible. But to begin a litle (with your lycence) was shée then conceiued with childe.

Frier.

Yea sir that was shee, for I had heard certayne of her gossips reasoning of that matter before. And leaste shee should seeme incredulous of my wordes, I set in that Caueat at the beginning, whereby she might stand in fear of incredulity, and if any thing should happen contrary to my wordes, I would haue ascribed it to her vnbeleefe, and as for the chéefe effect of my prophesie, I was certain that Sea crafty dissemblers conueyance. in my life time it could not bée expected, so that I forged this matter but to serue for my life time.

Author.

But was shée not inquisitiue to know by what meanes this thing should come to passe?

Frier.

Yes, and I had a proper inuention in a readynesse. I tolde her, that when this childe commineth to the age of xxii. yeares, there should be great warres beetweene the Emperour, and the Turke, and it should fall to his lot to atchiue many notable Steatagems, againste the Machometicall Emperour, by meanes wherof his glory should be aduaunced throughout all Christian Regions and especially within this Nation. But to see howe Fortune fauored my procéedinges, when I was once entred into the profession of this Arte, it happened, that while wée were at our iolye good chéere, there came in a gossip of hers, (who according to the curtesie of our Country) was inuited to doo as wee did. And when wee had chatced a while togeather, I willed her to shew mee her lefte hand, professing my selfe to bee very cunninge in Palmestry (in which arte I haue as much skill as a horse, and no more) I looked on her hand and would sumtimes name Lineauite Knauery coloured vnder a shadovv of learning. sumtimes Lineanuptialis, but to conclude, I knew neither of them both, nor any other line, but for a shadow to blear her eyes withall. And then I mused with my selfe (as if I had been in a browne study) during which time, I considered with my selfe what daungers are commonly incident [Page] vnto men and women: and at the last I tolde her that shee had hardly escaped the daunger of drowning, shee ratified my assertion with an othe, deeming mee to bee rather an Angell then a mortal man: this so flesht mee that I was now a gog.

Author.

But what if shée had denied that shée euer escaped such daunger?

Frier.

Then woulde I haue sayde that it was in her youth, before her remembraunce, but it fell out better. Then I blundred at other of her misfortunes paste, and some I hit right, and on the rest that shee remembred not so well, I caste such a cloake of cullusion, that shee rather ascribed to it her oblyuion, then to any wante of Arte in mée.

Author.

But was shee not as desirous to heare of her good fortunes to come, as of her euill chaunces past?

Frier.

Yes mary was shee, and there beginneth the sporte. I should haue noted vnto thée before, that while we were in our merimēts as wée sate at our dinner, this wife dranke to all good husbands, and then (quod shée) my busbands parte is least. I thought on these wordes, and I perceiued also by more of her talke, that there was but small good lykinge betweene her husbande and her, therfore to please her minde by tellinge of good newes, I sayd that as she had suffred care and sorow by the frowardnes of an vnlouing man, so shee should (within short space) possesse ioye and solace by the entire loue of a faythfull husbande, with whom shee should haue her owne will, and wealth at pleasure, and shee should see her desire vpon her enemies, and beare the swing & sway of al the women of the Parish shée should dwell in, with such lyke. Thus I was among my good Dames estéemed as a very Prophet, because I spake Faire vvorde [...] makes such fooles fayce. vnto them pleasinge thinges, and by these meanes I was more sought vnto then any Dector of Phisicke, or Counsaylour of the Lawes, and specially of Women.

Author.

But could you please all that came vnto you with these practises, or had you other shiftes in store?

[Page]Frier.

Nay. I am not so simple but I can respecte the person, for I met with some women, that I knew loued their husbands full well, and for them I had other deuises. I will flatter some of them in their children sayinge, that as they are of amiable counteuance, and of faire feature, so there are manifest tokens in their faces of wisdome, towardlynes grace and good fortune, and what Parent will not delight to heare this of their children, and for the Parentes themselues, I haue a thousand pleasing inuentions in this head of mine.

Author.

But will not the foolish Parentes perceiue thy grosse flattery, if they sée no such thing in their children in deede, as thou speakest of?

Frier.

Neuer a whit, for thou knowest the Fable in Esop, that the Oule thought her owne birdes fairest, and in this respect parentes for the more part are blinde, and specially mothers. And it is as feate a poynte in flattery to gloze in that which is neuer like to come to passe, as to promise that which a man neuer ment to geue, or would doo him no pleasure to whom it is offred. As I reade once in a prophane story that at what time vertuous Deborah the Prophetesse indged Israel: in the Cittie of Babel was dwelling a ritch Lieutenant named Ishewa who beeing presented by a Souldiour, which fought vnder Apollos Banner with a simple peece of worke which he had framed in Mineruas Shop: requited him only with a Bezeles manus and fed him with faire wordes, promising him that which neither hee could geue, as hee knew right well, neither the Monstrous promises choake [...]oles. other regarded as did plainely appeare. But as for anye other rewarde the diuell a whitte hee gaue him for his paynes.

Author.

I am sure thou aboundest in such good examples, but what neede so farre fet and of such antiquity? I thinke thou maist haue store in the profounde Maisters of your faculty and neuer trauaile to Babell for them. For yee are all of one predicament, both hee of whom thou spakell and al the rable of you, a company of cogging coistrels, [Page] howbeit I am sure thou hast taken forth a lesson before thē all, and maist well reade a lecture in the arte of Adulation. For truely thou flattering Frier, I haue heard so much of thée that I am ashamed to he are any more. And that inuenting It vvas hee o [...] some like godly Captaine. head of thine, lacketh nothing but a halter in stéed of a hoode, but yet I pray thee (Frier) between earnest and ieste, was it not thou that preachedst of late vnto certaine theeues by the hie waies side, and approuedst them worthy members of a common wealth, comparing them in many poyntes vnto Christ?

Frier.

No verely, it was not I, but certes I knowe him and commend him, for hee was a wise fellow & made a learned and profitable Sermon. Hée preached not for six shillinges and eyght pence, the ordinary price: but for ten pound and more. And truely to gaine halfe the mony (although it stand not with my professiō to handle mony) I will affirme that theeues ought to bee rulers, and not to bée ruled, yea and are worthy to bée canonised amonge the Saintes, when the yeare of Iubile commeth.

Author.

First I haue noted thy apostacie, in fallinge from thy profession to the filthye trade of Flattery for thy bellyes sake, wherby I condemne thee for a belly god: and before I procéede any further, I will compare thee to that wicked Iulian Apostata, whose ende may bee a Mirrour to the terrible example of all Renegates, of which number thou art a Captayne, most blasphemously belying the holy spirite of God, with thy forged inspiration, not vnlike that falie seducinge Prophet Machomet who with his forged inspiracions vnto this day beguileth the Turkes. So Machomet sedu [...]eth the Turkes by a forged reue lation. that thou hast denied Christe our Sauiour who in the generall iudgement will also deny thee, except (by his speciall grace) thou repent. Secondly, I condemne thy impudēt arrogancy in arrogating to thy selfe cunninge skill in Palmestry, thou hauing no more iudgement thē an Asse, wherin thou art one of the deceiuers of the worlde, foreprophesied by Saint Paule, to abuse the latter Age. And also, wheras thou art vtterly vnlearned in any good arte or facultie, [Page] thou art not to be taken for a member, much lesse a Minist [...]r of Christes Church, but to bée whipt out of the same, as one for whose cause the worde of God is euill spoken of, for thou and such as thou art, haue bene the ruin & ouerthrow of many goodly houses, to the great annoyance o [...] pouertie, & of such bussards as thou art, are to many in these dayes, that maketh the worlde in feare of a seconde subuersion (which God forbid.) Thirdly, thy lyking, and allowing [...] [...]phemy. of blas [...]hemous do [...]rine, comparinge Christ our Sauiour to wicked and abhominable theeues, is most stinking, and detestable. Thou knowest, or oughtest to know, that Ihon the Baptist, although he were the Kings Chaplaine, namely Kinge Herodes, fed not his Lorde and Maisters eares with slattering doctrine for promotions sake, but reproued A comenda [...]on of S. Ihon the Bap [...]st. his sinne to his face, for the truthes sake. Hee rather chose to liue in penury, wt Locustes & wilde Hony in the desert, then to fare delicately in the wickednesse of his Maisters Court. Hée desired with the Psalmist, rather to bee a doore keeper in the house of God, then to dwell in the Tentes of vngodlynesse. Hée might haue been aduaunced, to bée taken for the Messias of the worlde, but hee put it from him, vnto him who of right ought to haue it. Hee was neither couetous, nor prowde, nor lasciuious, hée was no disse [...] bler, but a true preacher, not protesting one thing and perfourming another: hee was no Simonist, hée hunted neyther for Bishoprike nor Benefice, but directed his whole life to the setting forth of Gods glory. When the Pharasies and head rulers came to his Baptisme, hée called them not gracious Lordes, but generation of [...]pers, and bid them bring forth fruites of repentance, hée was altogether ignorant in thy [...]lthy Arte of Flattery.

When the Publicans came to him to learne their dueties, hee preached not lyinge Palmestry but learned Diuinitie. Hee allowed not their polling and pillinge, with a cloake of Custom, because they were receiuers of custom for the Prince, but sharply rebuked their extor [...]ions, and b [...] them take no more of any man then right required. [Page] But the professors of thy arte will not sticke to perswade them, (by wresting the Scriptures cleane out of ioynte) that all their dealinges, what wicked & peruerse meanes so euer they vse, is tollerable. Also when the roistinge Souldiers came vnto him, hée commended not their [...]alyantnes, nor their couragious stomackes, but [...]eckt and taunted their iniurious violence shewed towardes men, and exhorted them neither actually to hurte any man vnder colour of true seruice to their Prince, nor wrongfully to accuse any man, which two [...]aults they commonly vsed, and lastly perswaded them to bee contente with their wages and stipend. Finally (as is before sayd) hee spared not the Maiesty of the King his Maister, in respecte of the trueth, which if hee would haue doone, no doubt but hee might haue béene (if hée listed) Princeps sacerdotum, in st [...]ed wherof hee was contente rather to loose his head then recant.

Thus (Frier) I haue expressed vnto thée parte of my minde, defiynge both thee and thy detestable Arte of Adulation.

Frier.

I am sory that I conceiued so good an opinion of thee, seeing thou art so contrary to my disposicion, & where as thou saiest thou hast expressed parte of thy minde vnto mée, I assure thée I thinke neither thou nor any man can shewe any more then thou hast rehearsed. And wheras thou hast brought in Saint Iohn against mée, I can alleage for that one a number, that were as well learned as euer was Saint Iohn, who were studients and practisioners of my arte, and I pray you among the reste, what say you of Saint Peter as good a man as Sainte Iohn in each poynt, did not hee dissemble by denyinge his Maister for feare of his life, and I hold him the wiser of the twayne.

Auchor.

O thou Childe of Perdicion, that so dissolutely, and desperatly [...]unnest hedlong to the pit of Hell. First because thou sayst I can s [...]yte no more examples to make for my purpose, I will omitte a great many that I might name for the contentacion of my assertion, as well [Page] the Apostles of Christ, as a multitude of other goodly Martirs, and note vnto thee only Saint Peter. For wheras thou sayst that Peter for sau [...]gard of his life dissembled, thou shewest thy ignorance in the sacred truth, and thy exe [...]rable study in wrestinge the same. Peter dissembled not, but the hope that hee had to see his Maisters deliuerance out of the han [...]es of his mal [...]cious enemies, through the entire loue that hée bare vnto his Maister Christe, caused him to reiecte consideration of any former matters, as well his stoute promise, as otherwise, which in the ende hee bitterly, with teares repented. Hee so much hated dissimulation that hée could not abide an old grandfather of thine, Simon Magus, to delude the world with his cogging skill, dispiseinge Si [...] Magus grandfather [...] [...]. and abhorringe both him and his money. And as touching his flattery, let the whole course of his doctrine witnesse, wherin I thinke thee to bée ignorant. Of timerousnesse of death, his end can witnes, for he suffred death for Christes sake.

Frier.

Mary s [...]r there hangeth the doubte, for I haue heard that hee neuer came at Rome, where it is sayd that hee was put to death vnder Nero, and was Pope there, by olde report.

Author.

It is impertinente to our matter to prooue whether Peter were at Rome or not, but whosoeuer affirmeth that hee neuer was at Rome, (in proofe wherof [...]es must condemne some good Authors) yet will hee not saye that Peter suffred not death for Christes sake: and it may well be olde report, or rather olde wiues tales, that Peter was Pope of Rome, for y• name was ascribed many yeres after Peters death. Thus thou hast abused that holy Apostle by challenginge him to bée of thy Arte, which thou termest the Eyghth Liberall Science. And thus to conclude with thee, I shall pray to God to illuminate thy hart with his holy spirite, to expell that foule F [...]end of Flattery from thee vntill which time, I shall detest and abhorre thy company, as S. Iohn [...]d from Ce [...]inthius that wicked her [...]tick.

The fourth Dialogue betweene the Author, and Fortunatus.

[Page]

If Fortunes grace be perfect hap,

For worldling [...] calles i [...] [...]o:

Then I at last do bath in bl [...]

That [...]arst was wrapt in w [...]

AVthor.

Sir I haue heard many men complaine of that Lady whom you so commende, for the [...] and happinesse on you bestowed, but I see that ec [...]e man speaketh as iust [...] cause him moueth. And sithens you are, by her benefits and bounty, occas [...]oned to honor her: may I bee so bolde as to learne at your handes, what wayes and meanes you vsed to obtayne so highly her fauour & friendship, so shall you binde mee vnto you, for I haue beene an vns [...]ilfull suter vnto her Ladiship, and therfore a slow [...] [...]peeder.

Fortunatus.

Your reasonable request, which seemeth vnto mee to bee tempered with mere simplicitie, shall bee easely graunted, attend therfore and marke wel the euent so thou maist, perhaps, bee directed a more ready & perfect Litle [...] in simplici [...] way to win her fauour by diligent imitacion.

When I first came to the Courte, I liued a bare and beggerly life▪ vsing sundry simple shifts to rub out am [...]gst the rest. I cared not in whose dette I became, so I might serue my present necessity. But at the last I perceiued that this trade could not longe continue, for experience taught mee that easely wonne was lightly lo [...]e, and euill gotten was yll spent. I applyed my sel [...]e to a profitable trade, which was to learne the Eyghth liberall [...], and to practise the same, by meanes wherof I haue obta [...]ed Fortunes special fauour, but before I could bring this matter to perfect effect, I was constrained to vse prety [...] [...]or there are certayne degrees ascendinge before a ma [...] [...] [...] [...] ▪ may come to her grace and fauour. [Page] I presumed not at the first to her owne presence, but obserued diligently on whom shee vsed moste commonly to smile, and when I perceiued who was her minion, I also found out which of his gentlemen wayters was greatest in his bookes, and hauing diligently serched these premisses, I framed my self to bee very officious and seruiceable vnto Lady Fortunes man, towardes whom I behaued my selfe so pleasantly by skilful insinuation, that (what with my cunninge adulation and déepe Dissimulation) I crepte To publish d [...]ued commendacions is no flattery, but aboue measure is folly. euen into the very bowels of his secretes. Then began I to magnifie and extoll the wisedome, prowes, fame, and renowne of his noble Maister, yea, (and I may tell thee) far aboue his desertes, and doubtinge least my woordes in commendinge him should not bee brought to his eares, I compiled a pleasant Pamphlet, and dedicated the same vnto him, in the preface wherof I fed his vayne glorious humor with magnificent Tytles and termes. But before I would presume to exhibite the same vnto him, I thought it good to vse the counsell and aduise of my yonge Maister and new found friend, whom I knew to haue perfecte experience of his Maisters my patrons inclination. This my industry ioyned with fayned fidelity liked him so well, that (to further my wished successe) he gaue a very good report Flatteringe Epistels sum time finde fauour, but vvise men [...] at the folly of such & gene thē small thanks for their [...]. of me vnto his Maister, and by his counsaile I waited oportunity to deliuer my sayd Pamphlet vnto the Patron when I found him in a mery moode (which is a thing specially to bee regarded of all suters) it pleased him so wel to reade his owne commendacions, that hee vouchsaued to peruse the rest, and gaue mee his rewarde and good countenance which was the thinge for the which I fished, and within shorte space I grew into greater fauour then was my first Maister, his man before specified: so that I was not Lady Fortunes minions mans man, but Lady Fortunes minions fellow. And not longe after that, by my daily accesse vnto Lady Fortunes presence, and my cunning skill in Adulation, wherin I was an absolute Scholler, I had the charge of her whirling wheele in my owne hand, to aduāce [Page] whom I liked, and throw downe whom I listed.

Author.

Then I doubt not but the Authors of your preferment were at your hands right bountifully rewarded.

Fortunatus.

Certes and so they were, for I not onely depriued them from their former dignities, but also banished them the Court. For thinkest thou that I would suffer any man to bee in the Courte that might iustly vpbraide mée with these wordes? I was the causer of this thy preferment, or thou mayst thank my father or freends for thy dignities? Nay, nay, I will none of that, I rather commend the heroicall minde of him that sayde, hee would rather bee a Prince to rule and raigne, yea though hee had no possessions, then to bee a vassall, or subiect with infinite wealth. What néede I bee ashamed of ambition, sithens to hit the top of Dignitye is the marke wherat all shoote. Doth not the yonge Scholler couet to excell all others in learning, the Musition in Musick, the Artificer in his crafte, and so of the rest.

Author.

Yea sir, but (vnder your correction) I déeme that these desires of excellency, procéede from an honeste emulation, but the other from a wicked condicion, and I thinke that neyther the finest Scholler, the most cunning Musicion, nor the excellentest Artificer, with the reste, thinke no scorne of their first enstructors, thoughe you of your first founders.

Fortunatus.

Tush, tush, who so preferreth honesty before honor shall prooue himselfe a foole.

Author.

But experience teacheth, that honor vpholdē with honesty, standeth when honor without honesty falleth to decay, and as nothinge is more fickle then Fortunes fauour, so nothing may bee more daungerous then an aspiring minde, who hauinge attained the top of Dignity, by the fawning face of vnconstant Fortune, is forced to sustayne a most gréeuous and irrecuperable fall, at whose ouerthrow, men rather reioyce then lament.

Wherfore I prefer the meane estate, who if hée fall [Page] falleth but in the playne, which he may easely endure, and quickly rise agayne, before the great daunger of the lofty degree, when it liketh froward Foreune to frowne.

Fortunatus.

I see full wel the Fox will eate no Grapes because hee cannot reache them, so thou mislykest honour and dignity, because thou canst not attayne vnto it, which I haue in thy former wordes obserued, when thou saydest that thou were a suter in vayne vnto Lady Fortune, and in good sooth, I do partly remember thee since that time, as A better [...]de to be applyed. well by thy face, as also by thy balde thread bare robes, as though thy Wardrop were in the Castell of ragges: but if thou wilt apply thy self to the noble Science of Adulation, thou mayst soone come to good prefermente, and set forth thy selfe after a more braue and costly fashion.

Author.

Sir, if there be no meane to attaine vnto brauery without the exercise of knauery (for I account flattery no better) I wil rather content my selfe to liue beggerly. A theefe is almost as yll as a vsurer. And as for your brauery and such as you are, it is maintained with double Theeuery, which is almost as yl as vsery, for I may well ioyne them both togeather. I heard one say of late, that all worne in the Courte, is not payde in the Cittie, but let the Marchaunt looke to that, and as for the poore Husbandman who toyleth for the liuinge not Note this poynt. onely of himselfe and his owne family, but also of the com mon wealth, findeth the coste of your brauery in his fines and rentes, but the best is, where as hee was wont to ingurgitace himselfe in your kitchin, by surfeiture, now hee is moderated, and may returne from thence with a good appetite, for your Beefe is on your backe, and the rest of your wonted victuals conuerted by strange Metamorphosis into Breeches, and brauery. But as for my Maistresse your wife, I wil not say shee weareth in her Kirtle the poore mans Oxe, nor in her Ueluet gowne the Bankrowtes stocke. If these be the fruites of flattery, for Vincit veritas. Gods sake, sir, learne some newe trade of fresher fashion, and study the arte of Trueth, which God will prosper: for [Page] Trueth in the ende shall preuayle, and so shall God bles your store and encrease, both in the fielde, and in the Kitchin, in the House and in the Barne, when brauery shalbe turned to beggery, and beauty to baldenesse. And as touching your politicke practice at your first entry into Fortunes Courte, I say no more, but wish that as many as All is well that endowell. loue flatterers tales had Midas eares. Wherfore, gentle Maister Philodoxus, I bid you adew, with this Motion, or Caueat: Respice finem.

❧ The fifth Dialogue, betweene Pierce Pickthanke, drunken Dickon. Dame Annat the Alewife, and the Author.

[Page]

Dickon.

Now fill the pot Ostesse, with liquor of life,

In steede of your payment, faire wordes shalbe rife.

Annat.

Faire words makes foles fain, the old Prouerb doth say,

Such guestes are best welcome when they go away.

PIerce Pickthanke.

In fayth Dickon, this goeth very harde that wée haue rackt and crackt our credit so longe▪ vntill it is not worth one pot of Ale, and my throte is so drye, that a man may grate ginger on my tongue.

Dickon.

Well Pierce, as harde as the world goes, I trow wee shall finde some shift or other to quench the scorching heate of our parched throtes, with the best Nippitatum in this towne, which is commonly called Hufcap, it will make a man looke as though [...]ee had séene the Diuel, and quickly mooue him to call his owne Father hoareson.

Pierce.

This thy description of Dagger Ale, augmenteth my thirst vntill I taste therof, wherfore I pray thee make haste to flatter my Ostesse in the best manner thou canst, and yet I dare i [...]opard my Cap to forty shillinges, thou shalt haue but a colde suite.

Dickon.

I assure thee Pierce, our Ostesse Dame Anne [...] is as freendly a wench as any is in this lande, and shée loueth a good fellow very well, and hath holpen many a one in her dayes, that otherwise would haue doone full yll. I would all weomen were of her nature and condicions, for [...]hee is both honest and liberal with great discretion.

Annat.

Go [...] to you drunken knaue, that flatteringe [Page] face of thine shall cost mée a glasse of dissembling water. Take heed [...] your oth.

Dickon.

What Ostes, did you heare mee? now I swere by my honesty I thought you had beene farther of. But my good sweet Ostes I pray you keepe in store your dissembling water for P. the Promoter, and C. the Counterfait, with M. the Makeshift, and other of your dainty guestes, for I poore Dickon will thanke you more for one pot of Ale of the right stampe, then for twenty your glasses of water.

Annat.

I sée well Dickon thou art a good Ale oratour, but I cannot pay the brewer with faire wordes, and that thou knowest.

Pierce.

Truely Ostes, I was doubtfull at my first comminge in, to call you by the name of Ostesse, for I rather A shift t [...] win some simple women. supposed you to haue béen one of the maidens of the house, you looke so yonge and smooth.

Annat.

Well honest man I will take your woorde for two or three pottes of drinke. But as for Dickon, I am to well acquainted with his condicions to geue him any credit.

Pierce.

How sayst thou Dickon to this? whether of vs two are better worthy of commendacions for the Arte of Flattery.

Dickon.

Truely Pierce, I perceiue that thou hast a very good dexteritie in pleasing the humours of women, Some wom [...] loue to bee counted yonge. whose natures I sée, are most affected with hearinge commendacions of their youth, beauty & comly feature, with other the like, in which subtilties it appeareth thou haste perfect experience.

Pierce.

Yea Dickon, thou and I are apte Schollers in the Eyghth liberall Science. And if there bée any Painter disposed to make a perfecte protraiture of two slatteringe knaues, hée shall not néede to séeke any further for his patterne then to vs.

Dickon.

In déede as thou sayest, but the best Artisan in Europ cannot depainte thée in thy right kinde better then my selfe can, but I will omit the discription of thy [Page] liniamentes, and display thy condicions.

And to begin withall, thou art an egregious flatterer, a deepe dissembler, a singuler good bawd, a plaine counterfaite, The perfecte blasoning of a knau [...] in grayne. an archerakehell, a naturall varlet, a knaue incarnate, and to conclude, a passing pickthanke. Thou hast two faces vnder one bood, two harts in one body, two tongues in one head, and finally in all knauery thou art incomparable and this is the right imblasure of thy condicions.

Pierce.

Certes Dickon, thou makest mée right prowd of my excellency in these commendable qualities. Wherfore to requite thy curtesie, I will fulfill the olde prouerb. Muli mutuum scabiunt, and I will shew thee as in a glasse A description of a proper man. both thy proportion and thy laudable condicions. And first I will beginne at the crowne of thy heade, which is so comly knauebalde as the like is hard to bee found whervnto is ioyned a beautifull browe, much like vnto the forehead of a faire Cowe, very well adorned with Oxe fethers of the right stampe, and a litle beneath that there sitteth as it were in a chaire of estate, and most riche precious and glorious nose tipped with a great bottell of brazile, garnished with Rubies, Saphires, and Crincums, beautified with oriente colours much like vnto Scarlet or Crimson Ueluet, indented with motheaten maladies, which beautifull member of thine is circumuented with a flushing f [...]ery face, wherat a man may warme his hands in the colde winter, and light a candell at any time, with many other commodities contayned in that good face of thine, and therwithall hath fixed theron a terrible Tartarian bearde, a notable harbour for the Crablouse. And to make spéedy dispatch of the rest, thou art whole chested in the brest like an Owle, an excellent backe to carye my Lords Ape, a graund liricumpanch like a Mare with foale, a bounsinge buttocke of a Carte loade, a paire of lefte legs with the thighes downwarde, and a goodly splay foote iust the length of the [...]ouens last. And now to thy properties thy vse is to counterfaite thy selfe to bee a mad mery companion, and wilt not blush to place thy selfe in euery mans [Page] company, and taste of euery mans pot. And if thou perceiuest Goodly c [...]ndiciōs I warrant you. the company to bee delighted with thy iestes, then art thou in thy ruffe, but if they be so wise as to mislike of thy saucines, then thou hast this subtile shifte, with olde drunken Latine, which I haue often times hard thee pronounce.

Potus lusorum meretrices Prespiterorum

Panis perfesus, cunctorum spectat ad vsus.

Also thou canst prate like a pardoner, and for thy facility in lying, thou art worthy to weare a whetstone in thy hat in stéede of a brouch. Lo now haue I playde the paynter, by drawinge thy picture in their right coulours.

Dickon.

Well Pierce, let vs now leaue our painting and fall to drinking, for when I haue well swild my soule, then am I a mate for all companies & a Maister of our art.

Pierce.

Thy counsaile is good, wherfore let vs tosse the Can to & fro, with hay iolye Ienkin I sée a knaue a drinkinge. &c.

Author.

Although (gentle Reader) I may seeme perhaps to offend thy modesty with this drunken Dialogue, yet I pray thée let me be rather excused, because I swarue not much herein from the vaine of Erasmus of Rotrodame, (although far beneath any comparisō vnto him) who vsed to place pleasant pamphletes in the midest of serious, and graue matters, as well for the recreation of his reader, as also to display and therby to taunt the follyes and trifling fantasies of all sortes of people. And now that these drunken drudges, that glory so much in their iniquity are busy in their bibbing, I will play the painters part indifferently for them both, desiringe thee that I may herein vse thy Pacience. The one of them namely drunken Dickon, (vnder whom I comprehend all maner of Roisters, rakehels, Such impudent cou [...] fait [...]s are to well vsed a [...] manye me [...] Tables. and drunkardes) is a saucye and malaperte varlet, who vseth very broad iesting, as wel with men of honour as with meaner sorte, whom they terme a madde mery knaue. Hee taketh all floutes and bobs in good parte, [...]y meanes wherof hee bobbeth many others. [Page] Among the company of lusty swearers, hée will out swere them all. And sumtimes hée will put on the habite of a foole, in which garment hée is receiued in, when wiser & honester men are put backe, & because hée noteth that wise men take sporte to sée fooles in a rage, hee will counterfait himselfe to bée in a mad moode, when hee is nothing at all angry, hee is a common cosoner, and a subtile shifter, the circumstances of which mischeuous practises, I wil hereafter note in my second parte, and these are the branches of his Adulation that bringeth forth most bitter fruite, of which kinde of dissemblers, let as many beware, as either feare God or regarde their owne profite. Now as touchinge A religious dissembler. the other, (namely) Pierce Pickthanke, his condicion is to cloake his hollow harte, with a holy pretence, and his dissimulation is chéefely in matters of Religion, although in very déede, there is in him no more sincerity then in an Ape. Hée will come sumtimes vnto a Bishop, and sometimes to others that hée thinketh to bée zelous in Religion and hath vnder his arme a new Testament, or a Psalter, as though his speciall care, and onely study were in the Scriptures, vnder which pretexte hée beguileth both the wise and the learned. Hée will in their presence temper Such knaues would bee better h [...]owē. his talke with such a shew of godlinesse, as though he were rapt vp into the thirde Heauen. Hee is a Saint outwardly and a Diuell inwardly. And hée will seeme to bee greatly gréeued in conscience, that papistrie should beare such sway in mens harts, and that such papistes (naming this man or that) are not straitly seene vnto and sharply punished, and will pray God to preserue such good men as they are, vnto whom hée talketh, as by whom Gods true religion is aduaunced and errour suppressed &c. With these and the like practises hee winneth fauour and beneuolence among the Protestantes.

Then hee hath an olde Portas, or some such booke in store, and therwith hee commeth vnto them that hee knoweth to bee of the olde stampe, and frameth his tale to this effecte.

[Page] A good sir (sayth hee) the great anguish that I beare in my conscience, enforceth mee to seeke for the setlinge and satisfaction of the same at your handes or some such godly learned man, as I know to bee of vpright iudgemente in the Scriptures, the true interpretation wherof hath been wrested and peruerted by the professors of this new Religion. I see and am sory to thinke vnto what penury the worlde is brought since the ouerthrowe of Abbies, to the greate impouerishment of this Realme, and what a sorte of skipiackes are now crepte into the places of aunciente and graue Fathers, by whom the holy Sacramentes are nothing at all Sacramentally vsed, contrary to the institucions of the Catholike Church of Rome, our holy Mother. With these and the like wordes, hee is a deepe dissembler in Religion. And also to picke thankes and profit at all mennes handes, hee can frame himselfe to feede all mens humors, so cunning is hee in this filthy Arte of Flattery, from which kinde of dissemblers, and al others, God sheelde vs, and sende vs his grace, that wee may embrace the honest and godly retinue of Lady Trueth, and shake of all such flatterers and dissemblers, as haue hitherunto peruerted the natures of men in these our dayes.

❧ The sixth Dialogue, betweene Diogenes, and Ulpianus. Wherin is expressed vnder the person of the Author, the simplicity of such as thinke the Courte to preferre all that flocke vnto it, which after experience had therof, is found an vnfit place for simple persons of grosse education.

[Page]

Diogenes.

WH [...]t new delight hath rapt thy minde: my tumbling tub to shun

H [...]th fronticke folly woue the web that foolish fancy spun?

Doth carefull Court accoy thy minde where daungers daily dwell

To loth the fleldish quiet lyfe that whilom lykt thee well?

Diogenes was an olde Cou [...]tier.

Expresse therfore the cause to mee whom freendship driues to doubte

Least thou bee causer of thy woe by seekinge Fortune out.

Whose coy conceites I saw full well while I in Court abode

Wherby my olde delight renewde to liue in feeldes abrode.

When Alexander mighty king, in Macedon did rayne

Hee wonne mee to Dame Fortunes Court by lure of pleasant traine

Where I might vew the vayne delightes that vaded euery day

I saw and smilde how some still gapte for gayne of golden pray.

Which was in deede a harmefull hooke, with pleasant poysoned bayt:

For beeing had spight spurnd a pace, on his downefall to wayte.

On fauour alwaye did attende with fayned freendly face

The flatterer with cap and knee to sue for Fortunes grace.

But secret spight stoode still aloofe, to hatch his hatefull broo [...],

And open malice kept a coyle, with mad and ragyng moode.

Enuy pursueth promotion.

These and a thousand troubles more in Fortunes Courte I viewde

I lothde to drinke those pleasant dregges that danger daily brewde.

At last as I lay on my Couche a silly mouse I saw

That crept out of her homly neast to feede her hungry maw.

And hauing fed, thee tournd agayne with well contented minde

Which lesson was a lore to mee, from courtlyke state to winde.

Then to my Tub I turne agayne, where I am lorde and Kinge,

A Castell m [...]te for such a Prince wherto I closely clinge.

[Page] My homly house no eye sore is, my londes none doth desire

Diogenes vsed a Tub in steede of his house.

My fall no man seekes for my wealth I hange not by the bri [...]r.

And thus I dare be bolde to speake, as trueth shall offer cause:

And yet I liue in safeties seat free from the tyrants iawes.

Wherfore friend Fulwell leaue thy g [...]d and liue with mee in rest:

No lyfe is like a quiet hart lodgde in contented brest.

No new delight of courtly ioyes hath drawne mee from thy loue,

Vlp [...].

Ne sugred band of Fortunes toyes may once my minde remoue:

To learne experience was the cause that I from thee did wend,

Skill is a poole thats bottomles, and Wisedome hath no end.

Insaciable knowledge is a burning quenchlesse fire:

The more experience geues mee drinke the more I still desire,

Knowledge is vnsacrable.

How ofte hast thou with scornefull tongue, Dame Fortunes name exprest:

Which made me long to se the wight, whom thou dost so detest.

That I might say by sight of eye, as eke by hearesayes talke,

That Fortune is a v [...]nge flower, a withered fruitlesse stalke.

This, this I say sent mee to Court where I might see and learne,

To know the dusty, chaffe from corne, and good from yll discerne.

There saw I wonders very straunge, that asketh time to tell,

They thinke there is no other Heauen that ay hath bene in Hell.

When thou an I in whelmed Tub, from stormes in couert lay.

I thought no harbour like to that, for night and rainy day.

Our rootes mee se [...]de was sweete repast, and iunkets passinge [...]ne:

For hunger is a noble sauce, and thirst makes water wine:

A wodden dish is worthy plate, where mettals are vnknowne:

In steede of goblet, nature gaue vs handes that are our owne.

But when I came to courtly trayne, then might my eyes beholde:

Such buyldings braue, such costly robes, such plate of glittering gold [...]er,

Such gems and iewels of great price, such fashions of atyre:

Such flaunting Dames whose beautye braue, would kindle Cupids

Such iustling to beare swing and sway, such clyming to the top,

Note.

And some I saw did reape the corne, that neuer sowde the crop.

Diogenes.

And might not these enflame thy minde, in courty troupe to stay?

Vlpianus.

No no, but lende thy eares a while and so shall I display.

The cause that, I am far vnfit, to serue in Fortunes traine:

Wherby my fates inforceth mee to clownish flelde agayne.

As kinde forbids the Larke to swim, and fishe to fly in ayre:

So I in Court deuoyde of hope, may liue in deepe despaire.

[Page] When first I came to Fortunes Court, with hope of happy speede;

I saw the fruite like Tantalus, but might not theron feede.

A hungrye plague to see [...]ate and drinke & yet to starue.

I smeld the rost, but felt no taste, my hunger to augment:

I might beholde the fragrant Wines, and follow by the sent.

I saw the Ladyes gallant gownes with many a garde and dente,

And Courtiers for their Ladies sakes in costly colours went,

The fashion of my thread bare robes, no Courtier did desire:

But eche one sayd a ragged Colte may serue a scabbed squire.

And thus I kilde a Courtier then for courting any more:

I saw the snare and scapte the trayne, and hauing learnd this lore,

I can exhort my compires now, that are for Court vnapt,

To leaue the life thats linkt in care, with troubles daily wrapt.

Diogenes.

Then shew I pray the what thou sawest, and what thou didst obserue:

Tis longe s [...]nce I of Court had vew, and courtly fashions swerue,

Declare to mee how lusty lads Dame Fortunes grace doth win:

Prepare thy tonge, my eares are bent to heare thy tale begin.

Vlpianus.

To shew of Robes the sundry sutes and fashions very straunge:

Would bee to tedious to describe for why they daily change.

And what was vsde but last yeare past, is now so olde and stale:

That country clownes do buy them now in Courte they haue no sale.

And that which now in Court is worne, growes daily out of vre:

A merye world for Taylors.

The Taylor that can make new guise, of currant coyne is sure,

But this I cheefely did obserue, Frenchmen haue framde such tooles

That now french Nets are cast on neckes to catch vp English fooles.

But let it passe I spurne it not, let each one vse their vaine:

These vanities I will omit, and turne my tale agayne.

French Nets are to catch English fooles.

Unto the wonders that I saw, by practise put in vse:

But first to honest Courtiers I will frame my iust excuse.

Whom I doo not in any poynt meane to offend at all:

Though galbackt Bayard winch when hee is rubbed on the gall,

I saw where Aristippus stoode, fast by a Lordinges side:

Who in his taunting tatlinge [...]onge reposde a iolly pride.

Aristippus was a good Courtier.

Hee finely framde his fyled talke, the hearers to delight

Smooth wordes I see doth [...]eare great sway and are of mickle might.

Eche man salutes him by his name, and hee doth them imbrace:

Wordes are good cheape, and tis small cost to shew a frendly face,

[...]s new found science in the Court, did truth of times betray:

And who but Aristippians might beare the bell away.

At last hee mee espyde by chaunce, and thus to mee gan say:

What? old acquaintance? what affaires hath the to court now brought

[Page] What winde driue thee? and whats the cause? that thou the court hast sought

Some men call this, holy water of the Court.

If any thing in mee doth rest, that may thy fancy feede:

Expresse thy minde, aske and receiue, but speake and thou shalt speede,

I gaue him thankes, but yet I thought these go [...]dly golden wordes

Would prooue but winde of slender weight, & bushes voyd of burds:

I calde to minde an olde sayd saw, which I haue not forgot:

Tis wisedome to take time in time, and strike while thyron is wh [...]t.

When Pig is proferd, ope the poke, my Nurse taught me that tricke:

My poke was open by and by, my hammer was very quicke.

Faire sir (quod I) your freendly wordes emboldeneth mee to craue

That I (through you) in Fortunes court some simple place may haue.

Small entertaynment serues my turne, so it be ought at all:

Poore men are pleasde with Potage aye, till better vittailes fall,

And you that earst was as I am, s [...]t now in Fortunes lap:

Make freendes of Fortune while you may: men say shee hath a trap,

Wherin her darlings oft times falles, when frowning cheare begins,

Fortunes giftes [...]b [...] [...]low.

First poynt of hawking is holde fast, hee laughes they say that wins,

Tush tush (quod hee) thou witles wight, thou spendest winde in waste:

First learne the skill to flatter fine, and then thou maist bee plaste.

Diogenes that dotinge drudge hath drawne thee to his schoole,

His preignant wit is yll applyde, hee proues himselfe a foole.

Hee calles mee Dionisius dog, for fawning flattery fine,

But hee like dogge doth snar and grinne at this wise trade of mine.

If [...]ee would turne his taunts and quips, to pleasant mery iest,

Hee might in fauoures grace remaine, and flaunt it with the best.

So thou that yet hast not shakte of, that sottish kinde of skill:

Must smooth thy tongue, and oyle thy wordes, and finely [...]le thy quille

Then come to Court, and I protest thou shalt haue my good will.

Ah s [...]r (quoth I) I see right well my sute growes very colde,

All promises are not perfourmde, all glistering is not golde.

And wordes of course haue course effect, experience teacheth so:

Deedes sinke, and lye at lowest ebbe, while golden wordes do slowe.

And s [...]th no meane but flattery may saue mee from Fortunes scornes:

As good [...] foe ehat hurteth not, [...] [...] s [...]ende that helpeth not.

I list not seeke a pleasant rose, among so many thornes.

As good such freendes were lost as found that helpeth not at neede:

Of thousand losses tis the least, thus wee were soone a greede.

Diogene [...].

Ah s [...]r, and sawest thou Aristip, that spaniell of curres kinde?

Who hunts eche haunt where gayn [...] doth grow and turneth with the winde

A smelfeast Gnato for his gut to [...]ouch each Thraso [...] bragge:

Whose wordes are free to promise much, but bound vp in his bagge:

His [...]lthy [...]oule Philosophy more frendship hath obtaynde,

Then truthfull tongue and trusty harte that neuer was distaynd.

Much like the false and wily Fox, that whilom hath espide

[Page] A Rauen with her pray in mouth, wherat the Fox enuide.

And cast within his crafty minde, how hee might her beguile:

The Foxes flattering Oration to the Rauen.

From top of tree where Rauen s [...]te, at last hee framde this wile.

O noble birde whose heauenly hue, with ioyfull eyes I see:

And muse that fame hath forgd such tales, and foule vntruthes of thee:

For flying fame, nay, lying fame, reportes thee to bee blacke:

But sure I see thy stately corpes, no beauty braue doth lacke.

The lofty oke thou makste thy pertch, the hauty towre thy seate:

Thy mighty winges with princely pompe, the fleggy ayre doth beate.

Thy port doth passe the Eagles lookes, I know full well thy kinde:

Thy race is sure heroicall, thou art of noble minde.

A good O [...]ator.

And if thy songe bee like thy shape, the beastes would sure reioyce:

To see that comely corpes of thine, and heare so sweet a voyce.

The Rauen then puft vp with pride, her prayses to augment:

Began to singe, the pray fell downe, the Fox had his intent,

And laught to scorne the foolish birde, that thought her selfe so braue:

Euen so playes flatterers when they catch the thinge that they would haue

But now proceede, what sawest thou els, it is no new found cast:

Tis common now for fooles to feede, when wiser men do fast.

Vlpianus.

If I should shew what sleights I saw, dame Fortunes grace to gayn,

Would try my wittes and, mee procure, displeasure for my payne.

Diogenes

Hast thou such feare of Fortunes frownes or of her whirling wheele?

Who since thou were three horseloues high hast tumbled at her heele?

Dread not at all except thou meane, to learne her fawning skill:

Whose flattering cup is [...] with wine that thirst enforceth still.

Vlpi [...]nus.

Nay, nay, tis time that wee go in, to take some small repast

My limmes wax weake, my tongue is faynt, Pigges are content with mast,

The Courtly fare hath fed my eyes, but belly had no share:

Nothing at all no sauour hath, nothing is homly fare:

I know thy stor [...]house is not voyde, of rootes or some such dish.

Sharpe hunger is a noble sauce, for rootes, for flesh or fishe.

Diogenes.

Yet tell I pray thee, foundst thou not one faythful freende at all:

Wherby some hope of better hap in time to thee might fall.

Yl is his chaunce, worse is that place where fre [...]ndship no [...] is fo [...].

Vlpianus.

Yes verely one freend I had to whom I am much bound.

[...]iogenes.

But was hee of hability, by Fortunes sawning grace?

[Page]Vlpianus.

Dame vertue gaue him worships seat, in spight of Fortunes face.

Diogenes.

Fayne would I know that freendly wight. I [...]onge to heare his name.

Vlpianus.

Some men would deeme I flatter him, if I should write his fame.

Diogenes.

Truth may bee blamd but neuer shamd, Truth needes not feare her f [...]

In truthfull prayse a man may speake. Truth needes no glosing sho.

A lying flatterer ay is forste his forged tale to hyde,

With cloake of fayned eloquence, for feare hee bee espyde.

But why shouldest thou refrayne to speake: the truth that thou haste tride.

Wherfore thou maist impart to mee his name and worthinesse:

Vlpian [...].

Then marke my wordes, and couertly thesame I will expresse.

Ernest hee is in zeale of sacred trueth,

Debonaire eke, and freend to euery wight:

A faythfull freend to th [...] Author.

Modest and meeke, a father vnto youth,

Vertue to further is his whole delight.

No nigard of the wealth that God him sent,

Despising pride, and with his state content.

His hart doth harbour giftes of heauenly grace,

Among the poore a patron of defence:

Right louingly doth learned wightes embrace,

Makes small account of curraunt quoyned pence.

A pacient man in suffring any wrong,

Not rendring yll agayne in deede nor tonge:

Dioge [...].

Ful well I now perceiue his name, and haue obserude his praise:

Such freendes in whom such vertues are be rare in th [...]se our dayes.

❧ The seuenth Dialogue, betweene Tom Tapster, Miles makeshift, VVat VVily, and the Author.

[Page]

Tom Tapster.

You are welcom gentlemē wil it please you to go neare.

Author.

Such welcome I like not that bought is to deare.

MIles Make shift.

Sir I perceiue right well that you haue béene accustomed with the flattering entertainmēt of Tapsters, vnto whom a mans purse is alwaies better welcom then his person.

Wat Wily.

In good sooth Tapster, if thou knewest howe weake our purses are, thou wouldest geue vs but féeble entertainment.

Tom Tapster.

I see you are merry gentlemen and disposed to iest, but if it bée as you say, you shal (notwithstanding) haue so much credit at my handes as your dinner and horse meate amounteth vnto, for you séeme to bee honeste Gentlemen.

Miles make shifte.

Of our honesty wée will make no great vauntes, but that wee are Gentlemen, and cleane gentlemen, wee will not denye, for I suppose wee three cannot make a stocke of two pence. But I praye thee wherby doost thou déeme vs to bée Gentlemen.

Tom Tapster.

Sir it is a gentle Tapsters curtesie, generally to salute all men by that tytle, which lesson I The tapsters curtesie. first learned in the Schoole of Adulation, in which Arte I haue so profited that I am now a publike reader therof, and by my absolute knowledge herein, I can both prooue A good guest [...] you. you a gentleman, and also emblaze your armes.

Wat Wily.

Thou art a gentleman like Tapster.

[Page]Miles make shifte.

I warrant you hee was neuer begotten without the consent of a Gentleman.

But Tapster, set forwardes our dinner, and if we lacke money, I wil promise thee by the faith of a Gentleman, to pay thee when I come hither next.

Tom Tapster.

I take your word, you shall lacke no good cheare. Exit.

Author.

Lo here is cretensis cum cretense, a cogginge knaue with a foystinge varlet well met: hée with his herhaltry and you with your hemphaltry, I trust anon will make a good medley.

Wat Wily.

Holde thee contente fonde fellowe, and giue vs leaue, and so shall thy charges bee borne, for thou hast oft heard say, that Fallere fallentum non est frans to deceiue a deceiuer is no deceit. And hée that with his flattery deceiueth a thousand in a yeare, is now like to be mated with his matches, holde thou thy tongue and obserue the euent.

No more wordes, for now hee commeth in.

Tom Tapster.

Gentlemen, I pray you haue pacience yet a litle while, and it wil not be longe vntill your dinner bée ready.

Wat Wily.

No haste but good, better is a litle tariance Tapsters ar [...] maisters o [...] nevves. then a raw dinner. But in the meane season I pray thée tell vs what newes is now stirring.

Tom Tapster.

I haue in my taphouse both stale and fresh newes: yea, & if néede require, I haue there a stamp to quoyne newes at all times.

Miles make shifte.

I pray thee tell vs new newes and true newes.

Tom Tapster.

Sithens you are so greedy of newes I will tell you such as will seeme wonderfull, and incredible. First I geue you to wéete, that there is beetweene Sir Morpheus and mée, very great and familiar acquayntance, by meanes wherof, we confer togeather somtimes Tom Tapste [...] dreame. at noone, as well as at midnight, and béeing this last night past in a deuont dreame, hee led mee vp by the hande into [Page] a pleasant Paradise, where I might beholde wonderfull visions: first I saw how Iupiter sate in his Throne of Maiesty callinge all the other Gods to accompt of their offices and Ministeries, before whose royall seate, the pety Gods and Goddesses endeuored with all diligence to cury fauor by sundry straunge and vnacustomed sleights: the terrible and wreckfull God Mars, whose harte was whilom bent [...] altogeather to conquer whole Monarchies and Empires, as an infest enemy vnto peace and tranquility, hath now set aside his warlike instruments, and is become a suter to Ioue, to liue at ease, preferringe quiet before conquest, and golde before glory, hée hath shaken of his harnesse, and taken into his armes in steade of armour, the beautifull Lady Venus, wherat the cunning Smith Vulcan takinge indignation (by his exquisite skil) enclosed them togeather in a net of Wier, for the which, this noble craftsman was had in great admiration amonge the Gods, and well commended of Iupiter him selfe. And when Vulcan had playd this pleasant Pageant, in came Appollo (as it were vpon the Stage) to solace Ioue with some kinde of Adulation, wherby I see full well that my science is practised euen among the Gods. Then came in Sir Cupid like a carpet knight, and with smiling countenance and smooth woords, allured Appollo to resigne the Scepter of his prudence and his learned laurel crowne vnto Ioue, wherby to discharge himselfe of a great burthen, and also to please Iupiter with his excellent skill of Musicke, vnto which fond request Appollo eftsoones applyed, to his perpetuall obloqui. Howbeit his incomparable harmony found such fauour with the father of the Gods & the rest, that his change chaunced to the multiplication of his gayne, though to the diminution of his credit. Thus Appollo became a Minstrell, and many of the rest daunced after his Pipe. Then came in Mercurius in the habite of a trauayler, and hee tould vnto He that hath trau [...]yled so [...] as none, so far as h [...]e may ly [...]by authority. Ioue wonderfull newes and monstrous lyes, namely English lies, French lies, Spanish, Dutch, Italian, Irish, Welsh, Romaine, Polonian, Muscouian, Babylonian, and Turkish lyes. And to conclude, hée could set out all [Page] manner of lyes, with all manner of colours. But it is a worlde to see how acceptably his newes were receyued, and to consider howe the eares of Gods are delighted with vayne fables, and forged fantasies. But here began the sporte: There stoode a far of, a simple sot named V. F. and when hee saw how Mercury was fauoured for his Fables, and commended for his cogging: perswaded himselfe, that hee by speakinge the trueth should bee right well regarded. And euen on the suddeine rushed into the place, as though his quill was then to speake, with malapert and sauey boldnesse, vttered these wordes following.

O mighty Ioue sith licence thine to speake is now assignde,

And pardon free proclaimde, giue leaue for mee to speake my minde.

Fooles boltes (men say) are soonest shot yet ofte they hit the marke:

Blinde Bayard is as sure of foote as Palfrey in the darke.

On Stage who stands to play his part ech frown may not him daunt

Some play to please, some laugh, some wepe, some flatter, some do ta [...]t

But hee whose parte tendes to this ende, fond fansies toyes to schoole

Best welcome is when hee resines, the Scaffold to the foole.

Lo now the foole is come in place, though not with patcht pyde co [...]te,

To tell such newes as carst hee saw within Cocklorels bote.

The Rowers cryde, to Barge to Barge, the passengers make haste:

The tyde is iurnde, and euery foole in his degree is plast.

With lusty gaole and laboring Oars the B [...]rge hath won the Porte

Where Iupiter doth reigne and rule, within a stately Forte,

Eche one deuisde which way were best in fauoures grace to grow:

Some crake, some brag, some flaunt it out, some crouch and creepe ful low

With cap and knee some sue & serue, some gape for others [...]alles

Some snatch the fruit before rebound, some gnaw on tastlesse shalles. grope

Some fish and catch a Frog at last yet feede on better hope:

Some sting their handes with nettles keene, while they for flowers

Some sing some daunce, some [...]ype, some pl [...]y, & al for fauours grace:

Thus greedy gayn [...] makes men beleeue, they runne in endlesse race.

What desperate hazard is so hard, that makes the yonker doubt,

What way so wilde where gaine doth grow, that worldling findes not out

What hole so small in wri [...]ings o [...]e, that cannot be now found:

But lucre & large cōscience makes some holes where wordes be found

Ah, Conscience is a banisht wight, with garment [...]l to torne?

But though shee sit in homly [...]agges, she laughes some robes to scorne

She [...] saules at tyranis that [...]oyle to make their will [...] law:

Whose [...]ing mindes by right or wrong, would hold all men in aw.

Refusing same and [...] shame, by hunting Mammons chace:

A [...]g (say th [...]) for good report, let mee haue Fortunes grace.

Oh Ioue, a [...]e th [...]se things h [...]d from thee, nay, nay, thou seest them all:

[Page] But win [...]ing wisdome is not blinde to t [...]rne the tossed ball.

Thou seest that sundry sortes of [...]n, by flattery do aspire:

To guerdon great, when trusty trueth, hath hatred for her hyre,

Thou seest I know the subtile sleights that worldly wightes deuise:

Who currieth fauour currantly, is onely counted wise.

Alas how is Religion vsde to serue the turne at neede:

Whose cloake hides sundry hypocrites that many errours breede?

For why [...] now a common trade, when refuge all is past:

To take Religion for a shield, a shift to serue at last.

Oh Ioue if thou wilt ransacke some that vaunt of her decrees

They will appeare but flauntinge leaues of withered fruitlesse trees.

To flatter Princes many men, apply them to the time:

They force no whit Religions fall, so they aloft may clime.

Now mighty Ioue, looke well about all thinges are in thy sight:

The Touchstone tries, all is not golde, that glistereth faire & bright:

Loe, thus I haue exprest my minde, and shewd forth my intent.

My part is playd, and I am pla [...]de so that I bee not shent.

Miles make shifte.

Mary sir this was a very saucy and presumpteous foole, for not onely his boldnesse in preasing himselfe to that place was worthy of reproch: but the subtiltie of his Metaphoricall Phrases deserued iuste punishment.

Wat Wily.

Thus wee may see what madnesse it is to permit fooles freely to speake their mindes but much more to suborne them in their taunting talkatiue veynes, whose tongues are alwaies bente to shoote their doltishe boltes at other mens vices; and yet sée not their owne follies, but I hope to sée the daye that such cocscomes shalbe restrained, for they are infest enemies vnto the noble faculty of Flattery.

Tom Tapster.

Uerely, if you had heard his words, and beheld his gestures, you would haue wondered at his impudency, for besides that his spéeche, which I haue recited vnto you, hée rayled and raged at the egregious flattery vsed among the Gods and in Iupiters Court, not sparing any state or degree.

Miles make shifte.

Well, well, gentle Tapster, let vs now leaue to talke any more of that daw and of his doctrine, and supplye the time with more necessary matter, [Page] wherfore sithe [...]s thou art a publike reader in the science of Adulation, I pray thée reade a Lecture of that art for our instruction.

Tom Tapster.

I graunt your request, and for the better explication and vnderstanding of the matter, you must imagine your selfe to bée the Lorde, vnto whom I reade this Lecture.

Miles make shifte.

Bee it as thou hast sayd, now shew forth thy learning to mée thy Lorde and Maister.

Tom Tapsters Lecture.

AS flying fame with golden trompe, hath sent thy brute abrode:

So bounden duety by deserts bids mee my minde vnloade.

Thy hauty porte, thy heauenly gifts, thy line of noble race:

Thy passinge prayse, thy happy state, makes all men ioy thy case.

As one who for his countryes wealth, by fate was first ordaynde:

Oh happy soyle whose lucky lot so rare a gem hath gaynd.

But whether are our ioyes more great, in hauinge such a wight:

Or els our greefe when sisters three, shall worke their yreful spight.

And as both Heauen and earth are bent thy honour to procure,

So prudence thine (O noble Lord) must cause thesame endure:

But by thy leaue (O maister mine,) I see and sighe withall:

That bounty should beare such asway, as to procure thy fall.

For thou (my Lorde) with princely pompe thy table doost maintayne,

A freend to all saue to thy selfe, but how may this remayne.

Thy purse is open to the poore, their naked lymmes to cloake:

Like Lords thy tennants liue at ease free from all seruill yoake.

If in the ende thy state decay, eche man bewayles the case,

Take time, in time, so feareles thou maist spit in Fortunes face,

And to begin, first cut thy troupe, and trayne of seruing men,

Where two or three may serue the turne, what shouldst thou doo with tent

But ten times ten on you depend and by your purse maintaind:

Leaue of my Lord, as good as you that pompe hath now refraind.

Imploy the Court with dilligence in presence of the Prince:

Whence profit growes, & fauour springs though mumbling lobcock wince.

Breake vp housekeeping & your troup, geue pasportes to your traine

In Court two wayters and a Page will serue while you remayne.

Agayne in Court such cheats do chance as causeth gaine to grow:

What neede I name the order how sith you your selfe do know,

If neede require that you appeare in presence of the king:

[Page] when as it shall expected bee, that you a trayne must bring.

Your tennants are good hansome hines, when badged blew cotes o [...].

So may you muster lustely with Simkin, Hob and Iohn

And hee poore swad, will willingly, on cote bestow the cost:

A warme [...] [...] you

His best ca [...]t horse will make good shifte, to ride with you in poste.

And were not these things better saued, then prodigally spent

Though you spend all, yet clownish crew, will neuer bee content:

And when continuance in the Court do breed destre of change.

With Haukes and Spaniels then you may about the country range.

Now here, now there, among your freendes how will you entertayne:

Plaine cuntry houses sumtimes hath in store, so y• you bring no trayn:

Mas p [...]rson sumtimes serues, a Capon or some such:

Pinch on the parsons side my Lorde, the whorsons haue to much.

The Diuell sendeth such counsaylor [...].

And when you list to lye at ease, goe to some proper towne:

So shall you not bee charged oft to feede Simswad the clowne.

Your stable then your owne turne serues, your stable may bee small,

Few dishes fraught with littel meate, to fill thee bo [...]rde withall

I trow your tennants will prouide, both Capon, Pig, and goose:

Beare them in hand their coppies naught and that the lease is loose.

So shall you haue prouision brought, to serue you all the yeare.

Yea sir, let tennants loke to that for markets now be deare.

And though your noble auncetors were cleane voyde of the skill:

That doth belong to husbandry, the greedy barne to fill.

Yet shun not you the trade to know, that yeeldeth treble gayne:

Nothing seemes hard to prudent men, where gaine requites the paine.

The more your knowledge doth excell the grater is your prayse:

Who knowes of land to make the most, is wisest now adayes.

When graue and prudent men are set, at table to their meate:

Their table talke tends to this ende, of husbandry to treat.

By meanes wherof no toyling Hine, that plowes and tilles the field [...]

Can better tell then noble men, what gayne a plough will yeelde,

What neede the Grasler you beguile, in hyringe of your ground:

When you your selfe may plainly see what gayne doth thence redound

Why should the butcher gayne the Hide, in dying of a bee [...]e:

This knowledge now in noble men doth chuse the farmers greefe.

Lea [...], learne (my Lorde) of landlords now to let thinges to the best:

Tis well when tennants crouch and creepe, to [...]llthe landlordes chest.

Your shepeheard is a subtill knaue, and breeds himselfe a stocke:

By k [...]ping many sheep [...] of his among your Lordships flocke.

The Tapster hath a [...]ge at C [...]l men.

A [...]o you haue the Pa [...]adge and gifte of goodly Tithes:

[...] faire globe lands in haruest time, that tryes the Mo [...]rs [...]thes

Which to bestow on pra [...] priestes, for te [...]nge of a tale:

Is madnes meere, but rather you may set them out to sale.

Sir Simon is a lusty [...]ad and hath good store of golde,

But s [...] a price and dou [...] [...] not the mony is soone tolde.

[Page] And if hee thinke it very much, to giue so large a fine:

Then may you choose a simple sot? who easely will incline.

To bee your drudge at all assayes? and feede among the s [...]ine.

Who will be glad with portion small although the fruites bee [...].

Poore men with pottage are well pleasd, such fellowes wil not gruic [...].

What though hee bee no Preacher sir, haue you no care for that:

Hee hath a prety skill to dig and delue a garden plat.

These precepts if your Lordship marke, and put thesame in vre:

Then Fortune shall be at your becke and stoupe vnto your lure,

Loe thus (my Lord) I make an ende and wish you happy dayes.

To bath in blisse, to s [...]im in ioy, to win immortall prayse.

Miles make shifte

O egregious Schoolemaister worthy of immortall prayse, whose excellent cunning ioyned with Muli mu [...] um [...] singular eloquence, meriteth equallitye with Virgill and Homer, verely Maister Tapster you are profoundly learned in this noble science of Adulation.

Wat Wily.

I haue heard many publique readers in A songe of three [...] in one, wher three flattering varl [...] are s [...]ly matcht. sundry faculties, but the like to him I neuer heard, for hee sheweth himselfe a perfect Rethorician, his wordes are so cunningly cowched that they importe much matter in few wordes, euery worde hath his weight, eche sillable his perfecte sence, hee is pithy without prolixity, shorte, and yet substanciall. Finally, his wordes, his countenance, his sweete pronounciation, his cumly gesture, with all his other actions, shew forth a grace (in my iudgement) incomparable, and therfore worthy of admiration. How thinke you freend Fulwell, let vs heare your iudgement.

Author.

My iudgement is thus, that for his excellency The [...] iudgement. in his execrable Science, hee shall bee endued with a garland of Hempe, & shal take his degrée of Poetry at the vniuersity of Tiborne, for his presence will become that place passing well. And because that lecture is very vnprofitable where out no necessary notes may bee gathered, I will shew you what I haue noted in the discourse of this Lecture. First that this fellow is to be reputed a Maister or Captaine Parasite, which kinde of people are the peruertors of vertuous affections, and corrupters of noble na [...]re, as by his detestable perswasions may appeare. [Page] But let vs sée how these vngracious graffes were trode vnder foote (as pernicious branches, or rather rotten and stinking weedes) euen among the Heathen wise men. Diogenes noting two of most noysom beastes of the world tearmeth a sclanderer the worst of wilde beastes, and of [...]ame beastes a flatterer. Also Plato accompteth him a freende in presence, and a foe in absence, wherof dayly experience is a perfecte witnesse. For as a flatterer wil prosesse freendship to thée and thy fréends, with like protestation of hatred towarde [...] thy enemies, euen so will hée (for his bellyes sake) vse the like dissimulation with thy aduersaries, and in the ende bewray and betray you both, if any gayne grow vnto him therby. Wherfore hée is right [...]oosin to a dog, whose property is to fawne with his tayle on all men that will rewarde him whether they bée his Maisters fréendes or foes. But what néede I stand vpon the inuectiues of Philosophers agaynst flatterers and flatterry, séeing the canonicall bookes of the Bible are furnished with examples and documents, wherof I will of a multitude, set a few, for the further displaying and iust detestation of that wicked Science, wherof Satan himselfe was the first Schoolemaister. Wherby I infer that the studientes, and practisioners therof, are fit Schollers for such a Maister.

It appeareth that by the subtilty of this art, Doctor Diuell Gen [...]. 3. deluded our first parents in Paradice, with his flattering promises of much more then hée could perfourme, the effecte wherof, the worlde feeleth, and shall doo vntill the consummation therof. And now let vs sée what manner of disciples this Doctor had, and for auoydinge of tediousnesse, I will pretermit many examples of the old Testament, and come vnto Christe his time

Herode with flattering wordes of dissembled intente, perswaded the Magians to bringe him newes where hee M [...]h. [...]. might finde Christ and how his wordes agréede with his meaning, the texte doth teach thée. In processe of time [...]. when Christ wrought wonders and miracles among the [Page] people, hée was cheefly commended among them for filling their bellyes in the w [...]ldernesse, in which slocke and multitude were many Pharasites and smelfeastes, that for their bellyes sakes, would haue proclaymed Christ to bee Iohn. [...] their Kinge, flattering him also with these wordes. This is of a truth, that Prophet that should come into the world. And yet the selfe same flattering varlets, when they sawe no longer likelyhoode of good cheare, cryed out on him Crucifige. The secte of flattering Pharises when they ment nothing lesse then truth, came vnto Christ with these glosing wordes. Maister wée know that thou art true, and teachest the way of God truely. &c. But their wielfed intent Math. 2 [...]. was to intrap him with wordes of treason, wherby to condempne him, of whose pharaseicall conditions are our Maisters of flattery, and thus let these fewe places serue for my first note. Secondly I haue noted by his Lecture, the vnconstant and sond affections of them that bend their eares to the sugred venim of flattery, wherby manye doo dishonor, disworship, and dishonest themselues by putting in vre such wicked attempts as this tapster hath perswaded. Thirdly I haue noted in you two a playne protrayture of a brace of cogging knaues, from whom I will flye as from a Serpent, exhorting al my fréends to doo the same and so fare you well.

Fallere te nullus vult, qui tibi dura minatur

Sed poti [...]s vt caueas turbidus ille mone [...],

Man [...] [...].

Fallimur a placidis verbis, vultuque sereno,

Cum sapido capimus, sepe venena scipo,

❧ A▪ short Dialogue, betweene the Authour and his booke, wherin is shewed sundry opinions that were vttered of the first Impression of this booke, which the Authour him selfe hearde in Paules Church yeard. and else where.

[Page]

Author.

VVHat loytring cause or lingring let,

Hath helde thee from my handes so long

Or elss hast thou such checke mates met,

As by some meanes hath done thee wrong

Some newes hath chaunst, I know full well,

If good or bad? I pray thee tell.

Booke.

Such newes perhaps, I haue to show,

As vneth will thy minde content:

If talke may make mennes eares to glow,

I muse if thine be not quite spent,

A thousand tongues doo speake of thee,

Thou hast so fondly framed mee.

This is a new found arte, say they,

Pickte out of late from ydle brayne:

But some agaynst those wordes inuey,

And say thou tookst an honest payne,

[Page] By mery meane thus to detect:

The folly of the flattering sect.

Some like thy verse, but not thy proes,

Some prayse thy minde, but not thy skill:

Some shew them selues to bee thy foes,

By mocking thee, and eke thy quill,

Some say thou hast a litle wit,

But doost apply thesame vnfit.

Some say that in times pas [...],

In Flatteries Schoole thou hast been traynde:

And yet to thriue foundst not the cast,

For Fortune aye thy state disdaind:

And now thou takst as weapon stronge,

Thy pen for to auenge that wrong.

And thus as I haue raunged abrode,

I heare the verdictes of them all:

Some rage and rayle, some lay on lode.

Belike they were rubde on the gall.

Some smyle to see so quaint a toy,

Some laugh right out, and some looke coy▪

Author.

Ah sily booke, that thus hast past,

Amid thy freends, and through thy foes▪

VVhat writer euer found the cast,

To please all men? none I suppose,

For fancy comes to men by fittes,

So many heads, so many wittes.

[Page]

Sith sundry men in sundry wise,

Do shoote their sentence at my name:

Goe tell them all, that I despise,

The scoffes that taunting tongues do frame,

Thy humble duety do expresse,

To thy right noble patronesse,

Then reuerently thy selfe submit,

Vnto the troupe of learned trayne:

As for fooles boltes, that would thee hitte,

Thou shalt full well their shot sustayne.

And say to them, that thee doo blame,

My Author prayse you mend the same.

So shall you answere his desire,

And haue his thankes, a small rewarde,

Els let your tongue from taunts retire,

Yll tongues good matters, ofte hath marde,

A fault is sooner found, then mended,

Few bookes by finde faulte is defended.

Farewell my booke, God bee thy speede,

I sende thee forth to walke alone:

In homly stile, a threede bare weede,

For robe of Rethorike I haue none,

My VVaredrope hath no filed phrase,

VVheron fine eyes delight to gase.

FINIS.

The eyghth Dialogue, betweene Si [...] Symon the Parson of Poll Iobbam, and the Authour.

[Page]

Sir Simon.

VVho liues to learne, and learnes to liue

And list to come to thrist,

May see the skill, and finde the way,

By my new sounded shrift.

AVthour.

If your shrifte haue such vertue as [...] teach men thrift, I pray you Sir Simon take mee vnder b [...]edicitie, who neuer as yet could finde the way to thriue, I thinke it bée for wante of absolution ab omne frugalitate.

Sir Simon.

I neither vse auri [...]uler confession, nor any kinde of absolution, but certaine infallible precepts to bee obserued, by practise wherof, thrift is obtayned.

Authour.

And yet (Sir Simon) if the common saying be The [...] of poul [...] ba [...]. true, you haue playd an vnthrifty part your selfe, for you are sayd to bee bee that solde his benefice for a boale of new Al [...] in corns, and what thrift call you that▪

Sir Simon.

Better thrift then you are ware of, for the boale was spiced with a hundred Duckets, which spice sunke to the bottom that all men could not see it.

Author.

Then your name shall bée conuerted from Sir Simon to Sir Simony, but haue you any other benefice lefte to liue vpon, and [...]pe hospitality withall?

Sir Simon.

I am not as yet vnfurnished of my plurality, but if I had not one, yet haue I the feate to [...]ishe an [...] Sir Simon fisheth vvih a gold [...] [...]. catch: so fine a bayte I haue in store.

Author.

How longe haue you beene so cunning a [...]sher? When I knew you first you had no such skill, but [...] ted your selfe to l [...]e as bar [...]ly as I, and other your poore neighbours.

Sir Simon.

That I liued barely I confesse, but that it conte [...]ted mee I denye, wherfore I directe my study to the Art of Fl [...]ttery: wherin I found such sauour, that I set [Page] aside al other studies, and dedicate my selfe wholly to that, in which art I am now an absolute Schoolemaister, and if thou once tastedst the swéetenes therof, thou wouldest reiecte thy stoi [...]all study and become a Philosopher of our se [...]te.

Author.

I pray you Sir Simon, for olde acquaintance Honest studies [...]cted in respect. tell mee how you put this kinde of Philosophy to so profitable vse?

Sir Simon.

I will rip it vp vnto thee euen from the beginninge. It is not knowen vnto thee how solitary a life I led when I first became a Clergie man, and when I went any where abroade, my onely arrant was to preach, in which my sermons I could not cease to inuey agaynst the abuses of these dayes, not sparing Lorde or Lady or any degree, in reproouinge of sinne and wickednes, so farre forth, that I was counted [...] saucy knaue among Gentiles. And specially of patrons of benefices, whose foule disorders, in making marchandise of the Church béeinge Gods parte, would heape vp wrath for them against the daye of vengeance, and that therby the childrens bread was taken This [...] ty is greatly to be [...]. away and cast vnto dogges for not onely they were depri [...]ed from the foode of the soule, by selling of the benefice to simple Sir Iohn, vtterly vnlearned, but also the patron must haue the sweetest soppe of the tithe to maintaine his [...]oundes, greyhoundes, and Spaniels, for lacke wherof the poore parson is vnable to keepe hospitalitie: & as Christ whipt out the Marchants from the Temple at Ierusalem, so these Churche Marchantes must looke for a greeuous Let them su [...]ely looke [...] it. s [...]ourge to come on them from God. For this and the like doct [...]ine I was hated of many, and loued of few. On the other side, I sawe how some other Preachers that were my neere neighboures, could cunningly claw the ytching eares of vaine glorious men, and like Pro [...]heus conuerte themselues vnto sundry shapes, by means wherof lyuings were powred into their lappes. I set aside my satirical [...]ous, and became a plausible preacher, I reiected seli [...], and became a boone companion: I left my bookes [Page] and [...]ell to my bowles, [...] shut up my study, and sought out the Ale house, and then who so good a fellow as Sir Simon with the Papist I was a P [...]pist: with the Protestant, an earnest gospeller, [...] the newfound Famely of Loue, I was a lo [...]ge companion: among graue men, auncie [...] A Chaplay [...] of trust. with wilde [...]ates, youthfull: among gamesters, a good [...] low: and finally, a man at all assaye [...]. Then began my credite to encrease, and those that before spake euil of mee, now gaue mee good rep [...]rte, and in short space I had more lyuings [...] on mee, then law would permit mee to Scoggi [...] do [...]le is [...] ge [...] vvhere [...] is [...] [...] no [...] d [...]ert. receiue, but I would refuse none: for I inuented a proper policy both for f [...]uour and profit. When soeuer any [...]yuinge came vnto mee more then by law I was capable of, I would either make marchandice of one, or els make ouer my entangled lyuing vnto some man of such Authority as agaynst whom no common promoter durst presume, by meanes wherof, I was sure to haue a good bucklar of defence, Such mar [...] chandi [...] haue mard a [...] and a profitable gayne without deserte, so that in shorte space I was taken vp among states, in whose presence, to win further fauour, I could behaue my selfe [...]o pleasantly, that who so great a man as I among [...] Lo [...]des and Ladies. I haue committed to my minde such store An vn [...]it thinge for [...] P [...] to be [...] a lesse [...]. of pleasant denise [...] to [...]eede their humors at the table, that I am called my Lords mery greeke, for the company is the merier that I am in. And on [...]ee attendeth simple Sir Iohn, who is made a dou [...]te and dogbolt of euery seruing [...] A Chap [...] [...] [...] [...]o [...] [...] Th [...] [...] [...]o [...] [...]. man, because of his simplicity, but for all that, I with [...] subti [...], and hee with his simplicity, and my Lorde [...] men with their policy, keepe in our hands many good be [...]ices in the Country, if this bee no thrifte now iudge yo [...].

Author.

If such shifting thrift, [...]nd with good thriuing▪ I much [...]aruel, but this mean while, how do you discharge y [...]r cons [...]ence in preachi [...]ge according to your function?

Sir Simon.

[...] preach very often, and that with great cōmendations, for when I am in Pulpit before Nobles [...] Sir Simon▪ preacht [...] pro [...]. peeres of the Realme, I tende my inuectiues wholly against the insaciable couetousnesse of the Country man, [Page] with the subtiltie that is in them harbored vnder the cloke of simplicity, and how they beate their brayues only about worldly affaires, omittinge first to seeke the kingdome of God, and the rightuousnes therof, accordinge to the commaundement of our Maister Christ. &c. And like wise of the Lawyers that vnconsionably take fees, by whom contrauersies are rather mayntayned then ended. And when I preache in the Cittie, and before Lawyers, I declayme against both the Courtier and the Cuntry occupier, whose dealinges are so vnconcionable towardes the Marchaunt, that hee causeth many riche and wealthy Marchants to become bankrout. Agayne in the Country, I preach that the pride of Landlords is the impouerishment of the common wealth, wherby also vice is nourished and vertue decaied, and that disguised attire of men and women, maketh them seeme more lyke monsters then humayne creatures. Sir Simon preacheth dog [...]kes in stead of Doctrine. And in all my sermons, I haue one pleasant dogtricke or other to delight my auditory, which mery conceyt is committed to memory, when the rest of my dectrine is neglected.

Author.

But I pray you Sir Simon, is your life so confourmed to your doctrine that it cannot iustly be sayd vnto you Medice cura te ipsum.

Sir Simon.

Tush that is the least care that may encumber my minde, for I haue so bold a tongue, and such a brasen face, that if I bee detected of any notorious crime, I can so hide my wooluish carcas vnder a cloke of Lamskin, that my deserued blame shall rebounde into the bosoms of my accusers.

Author.

But I pray you (sir Simon) haue you had frée passage in these your proceedinges without taking of some notable foyle.

Sir Simon.

Loe now thou dooste vrge mée eyther to accuse my selfe vnto thee, or els to deny thy request, but because I thinke that whatsoeuer I doo r [...]ale vnto thee, shall bee buried in the Sepu [...]chre of thy secretes, I will display certayne finester practises of late I put in vre, to the [Page] vtter Shipwrack of my fame, and greenous wound of my good reporte, which skarre lyeth so open vnto the eyes of the world, that it is shot at with the sharp arrowes of many mennes tongues, and yet I hope to saue it from festering by a plaster of new inuention as in the end of my tale thou shalt heare.

Author.

I couet first to heare your practises (the causes of your wound) and then your chirurgicall policy.

Sir Simon.

Thou knowest that when I was in the flower Bbelike Sir Simon wa [...] a long lubber of my youth, I was well regarded of many men, as well for my prompe wit in scoffing and taunting, as also for the comlynesse of my personage, beeinge of very tall stature, and actiue in many thinges, by meanes wherof I became a Seruitour, but I was soone weary of that trade, & tooke on mee a habit of holynesse, namely a Friers coule, and was a painfull Preacher. Shortly after I caste of my coule and tooke on mee the office of Preesthood. But within a while, I lyked so yll of that function that I shakte of my square cap and my tippet, and became a practicioner of yt ciuil Law, in the attire of a temporal man, as though I had taken no orders at all more then the. 24. at which time I traded many thinges and cheefely in mineralles. But it is a world to sée how promotion pricketh the minde Sir Simon a [...] [...] all kinde of [...]. of man, as in [...] may appeare a perfect patterne: for it so happened that a certayne Archedeacon in the Prouince of M. dyed while I was at N. a Cittie of the sayde Prouince, after whose death I tooke new orders, and became a new olde Préest againe, then I labored so effectually and s [...]ed so finely, as wel with my golden hooke, as my glosing tongue, that at last I got into my handes, not only the sayd Archede [...]nry of N. but also certaine fat benefices in that same Prouince, wherat the worlde smyled and spake of mée much shame. But I bare out that with a brasen [...]ace, and d [...]ised meanes to win new credit, for the oldst was so crackt and wormeaten rotten, that it was nought worth

Author.

Truely Sir Simon, I déeme it one of the [Page] most difficult matters in the world for a man to win new credit in a place where the olde is so far past as you haue described.

Sir Simon.

Nay verely, I estéeme it no difficult matter. For by this meanes that I shall tell thee, I beare a greater countenance then euer I did. For I keepe iolly good cheere in my house, but not for eche poore [...]aue and euery rascall, or for the poore and impotent, but for Lords, Knights, Esquires, and Gentlemen. And let them bring Sir Simons almes with them whom they list, yea, euen their very Dogges, Rug, Rig, and Risbie: yea, cut and longtaile, they shalbe welcom, & for this cause I am a companiō among estates.

Author.

But I thinke those men of honour and worship, vse you as men vse their waterspaniels: that is, they make you their instrument to fetch and bringe vnto them Sir Simoni [...] [...]ruisable [...]tniell. such commodities, as you by the corrupting of your conscience may compasse, and for your labour they spitte in your mouth, and make you their mocking stocke behinde your backe, and if it bée so what new credit doo you win hereby?

Sir Simon.

It may bee as thou sayst, but I haue not as yet perceiued it. But all this while I haue not tolde thee of one of my practises which sticketh more in my stomacke then all the rest, the wound wherof, though in time it may bee care [...], yet I feare mee the skarre will remaine while I liue. Wherfore, to vnloade my stomacke of that chorasie I will vtter it vnto thee as foloweth.

There is a very honest man dwellinge neare vnto a Towne called D. in the Country where my dignities are, which honest man was my very freend in time of necessity who dwelleth on a lyuing geuen vnto him by an olde Mai [...]er of his, sometimes Are [...]deacon of the place that I now possesse, and by my dignity I am now his Landlord, but oh how it greeued mee to see so sweete a sop (as hee eni [...]yed) [...]. out of my dishe, wherfore I sommoned an assembly of my wittes and willes tog [...]ther, and so deuised how to surprise him by the practis [...] of my pro [...]ssed art of Adulatiō, wherin [...] vsed also deepe [...], which is a special branche [Page] of this Art, and to begin, I wroat vnto him a letter in effect following.

My olde fréend M

the sunory good turnes that I haue receiued at your handes enforceth mee to study how I may requite thesame. And sithe Fortune hath now aduaunced mee to bee your Landlord, I assure you, (if your lyuinge were not already on you bestowed) I would endewe you therwith in more ample manner, then did your olde Maister, and perswade your selfe herein that you shall finde mee as fast a fréend vnto you, as any you haue in yt world, wherof you may make proofe when you will. And because I make the like account of you, I am bolde to request the vse of your fréendship at this time, which is, that you will lende mee one hundred powndes of mony, towardes the charges that hath growen vnto mee by late purchased promotions, I wish you well, from my house at N. &c.

By your &c.

Author.

Truely Sir, your letter protendeth much Adulation, & yet peraduenture you perfourmed your promise vnto him, and in so dooing your wordes were fréendly and not flattery.

Sir Simon.

In déede I perfourmed the same with shame enough vnto my selfe, for hee (ioyning with another of my tennants) gratified my request, and I requited it in this manner: I refused to receiue my rente of him because the A man of good con [...] ence as by this practi [...] appea [...]h. forfaiture of his liuing, stoode vpon the non paiment of his rent: willing him not to regarde the tenderinge therof at the dayes and place limited, seeing that not only I was his very fréend, but also endetted vnto him far beyond ye value of my rent. But hereby I see how God standeth with true meaning men, and frustrateth the wicked pollicies of vnconscionable dealers, to their shame, as in mée may appere a notable example, for I intending to circumuent him wt my subtilty, was my selfe caught in the snare of shamefull obloqui. For when I supposed y• he had forfaited his sayd lease for want of tendring the rent, wheras (in very deed) [Page] hée (vnknowen to mee) had lawfully tendered thesame, I came vnto his house as Iudas did vnto his Maister & freend God prouideth [...] plaine meaning [...]. Christ with a trecherous kisse of egregious dissimulation, and brought with mée a troupe of my adherents. And at our comming, (albeit it was on a soddeine) wee found such cheare and fréendly entertainment, as right well deserued great thankes, in recompence wherof, I sent the good man out of the way by a trayne, and in his absence gaue possession of his house to another, which beeing knowen, all the A good turne wel [...]ed. Country cryed against mée Crucifige. And yet hee (by his aboue specified wisedome) preuented my pestilente wilynesse. And this is the scarre that I feare m [...]e I shal neuer cure.

Author.

Certes of all knaueries, cogginges and dissimulations, I neuer hearde the like, but I pray you haue you applyed no plaister vnto this so foule a wound, which I thinke stinketh so that it offendeth the sences of as many as know you or heare of you?

Sir Simon.

Yes I haue a litle molified the same with A proper excuse to blear the eyes of fooles. the oyntment of smooth wordes, saying vnto him, that my meaninge was to take it into my owne handes, and so to bestow it agayne on him, that therby hee might perceyue how well I loued him, but al this cannot stop the mouthes of the people, and therfore (as I tolde thée before) I cleaue fast vnto the company of worshipfull, trusting that in time it will bée a Scarfe to shadow the scarre of my knauery.

Author.

Now to conclude with you Sir Simon, I pray you what is the price of a good benefice in your Country? for I know that you are both a Marchant, and a factor for other chapmen.

Sir Simon.

Ah sir, that is such a secrete as I list not reueale vnto you for doubt least I bee shent. But if thou wilte study my [...]te, I will bee thy reader, and then thou A [...]ret [...]ote [...]o bee publ [...]y [...] shall both kn [...]w the order, and enioy the fruites therof.

Author.

Uerely Sir Simon, I doo so much detest and abborre the study and practice of that filthy Science, that I wil rather suffer any worldly penury, thē bee a follower [Page] of thy secte. And now I cannot choose but declaime against all thy practises, as thou hast particularly recited them vnto mée. And first to begin with. Wheras thou hast acknowledged thy returne from grauity to knauery, from holynesse to hollownesse, from light to darkenesse, from trueth to lyinge, and from sincerity to flattery, for this thy notable apostacy, thou deseruost to bée baffolde here on earth, and to bee enstalled the Archdeacon, or rather Archedeuill of Plutos infernall Court. Also where as thou hast confessed thy impudency, in committing of euill, & bearing A fit preferment for such a Cl [...] playne. out the same with a blushles brazen countenance, I assure thee, the day will come when thou shalt stande before the tribunall Seate of Christe, and all thy filthy factes shalbe then layde before thy shamelesse face, and penetrate the brasse therof (if any there bée) when thy owne conscience shall put thee in minde of these words that thou hast often times preached, out of the Psalme: that is. And vnto the vngodly sayd God, how darest thou take my lawes in thy mouth wheras thou hatest to bee reformed, for when thou sawest a théefe thou consentedst vnto him, and hast layde downe thy portion among the adulterers.

And also thou hast read Saint Paules rules vnto Timothi, as touching the framing of his life to his doctrine, and his workes to his wordes, that in the function of his ministery might bée found no faulte. Then wilt thou say, oh that I had so directed my life by the lyne of Gods woorde, that I might boldly and truly haue saide with our Sauior Christ, Quis ex vobis potest me arguere de peccato? But all to late shall it then bee, excepte while thou hast space thou call for Man can not bleare the eyes of God. grace, and without dissimulation turne vnto God, whose eyes thou canst not bleare with all thy cunning in Adulation, because hee is scrutator cordis, the searcher of the very hart of man and will not bee deceiued by any art of glosing wordes &c. Now where as thou hast practised to bee bolstred vp by the countenance of worshipfull Gentlemen, I must needes note, that many noble men & gentlemen are by thee and thy sect vehemently abused. For thou hast acknowledged [Page] thy insinuation towardes them, by meanes wherof they commit credit vnto thee, and such is thy wickednesse, that whether they bee inclined to to vertue or to vice, all is one to thée: So that if they bee couetous, extorcioners, prowde, voluptuous or blasphemers of Gods holy name, they are not by thee rebuked, but such shall dye in their owne sinne, and their blood shalbe required at thy handes, and also (as I haue heard of thee) thou haste honest Ezek. 33. termes to cloke these forenamed vices. First, couetousnes is thrifte: extorcion, good husbandry: pride is clenlinesse Clenly terms for filthy faultes. lechery, a spurt of youth: and swearing is lustinesse &c.

And as for Simony, it is but honest consideration, wherby thou, and simple Sir Iohn, with Sir W. the Weauer, and Sir T. but lately a Tinker, with [...]unce the seruinge man, snatche vp the benefices in the Country. But God bee thanked these disorders are like to be refourmed by the Vnmeet Ministers in the Church of Christ. prouidence of our Noble Quéene and her Honorable counsayle, with the Bishops and Fathers of the Church: & then shall Sir Simon bee shaked of from the presence of Noble men, and men of aucthority, and true preachers placed in his roome. And now to conclude with thy sinister and execrable practise in the Prouince of M. wherof thou sayest God graunt this may bee done with speede. thou art ashamed. Consider the premisses, and liue hereafter like an honest man (if thou canst) and that shalbe the best plaister to cure that scar, which otherwise will neuer bée healed, & beeing once whole & sound with continuance of that salue, thou maist then boldly shew thy face, which is, as yet so blemished, and alwaies regarde these wordes, veritas nonquerit angulos. Truth seeketh out no corners, nor searcheth for coulorable shiftes.

FINIS.

[Page]

Information about this book

Title statement

The first parte, of the eyghth liberall science: entituled, Ars adulandi, the arte of flatterie with the confutation therof, both very pleasaunt and profitable, deuised and compiled, by Vlpian Fulwell.

Fulwell, Ulpian, fl. 1586.

Edition statement

1579

Publication

Publisher

Text Creation Partnership,

Place of publication

Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) :

Date

2004-05 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1).

ID [DLPS]

A01351

ID [STC]

STC 11472

ID [STC]

ESTC S119694

ID [EEBO-CITATION]

99854901

ID [PROQUEST]

99854901

ID [VID]

20357

Availability

This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal. The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.

Series

Early English books online.

Notes

(EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A01351)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 20357)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 567:10)

Source

— The first parte, of the eyghth liberall science: entituled, Ars adulandi, the arte of flatterie with the confutation therof, both very pleasaunt and profitable, deuised and compiled, by Vlpian Fulwell., Fulwell, Ulpian, fl. 1586.. Newly corrected and augmented..

Extent

[76] p.

By [William How for] Richarde Iones, and are to bee solde at his shoppe ouer agaynst Sainct Sepulchers Churche,. Imprinted at London :: [1579]. (Eight dialogues, partly in verse.) (Actual printer's name and publication date from STC.) (A variant of the edition with year "1579" in the imprint--Cf. STC.) (The last leaf is blank.) (Signatures: A-I⁴ K² .) (Reproduction of the original in the British Library.)

Creation

Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford.

Editorial practices

EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO.

EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org).

The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source.

Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data.

Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so.

Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor.

The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines.

Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements).

Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site.