Certain elegies, done by sundrie excellent wits With satyres and epigrames. — Satyres: and satyricall epigrams

Certain elegies, done by sundrie excellent wits With satyres and epigrames. — Satyres: and satyricall epigrams

Table of contents

Title page

An Elegie by F. B.

An Elegie on the Lady Penelope Clifton. By M. Dr.

An Elegie. by N. H.

An Elegie on the death of the three sonnes of the Lord Sheffeild, drowned neere where Trent falleth into Humber.

The Author in praise of his owne BOOKE.

Of his deare Friend the Author, H. F.

The Author's Answer.

HORAT: De Arte Poeti.

Satyra prima.

Satyra Secunda.

To his worthy Friend vpon these Satyres.

THE SECOND BOOKE: OF Satyricall Epigram's.

To his True Friend Tho: Fletcher of LINCOLN'S-INNE Gent:

Satyricall Epigram's.

Ad Emptorem. Epig: 1.

In Thrasonem. Epig: 2.

Of a Rayling Clyent. Epig. 3.

Of Debt. Epig. 4.

In Medicum. Epig. 5.

Against the Accademicks of their abusiue * Ignoramus. Epig. 6.

In Cornutum. Epig. 7.

No-lawes Reformation. Epig: 8.

Of Lucus and his long Haire. Epig: 9.

Francisco's Trauels. Epig: 10.

Of Braggado and his Valour. Epig: 11.

Of Duke and his Imprisonment. Epig. 12.

Againe: Of Duke and the Debt. Epig. 13.

(Guido's) Bounty. Epig. 14.

Of Lawyers. Epig. 15.

To his Fellow Students. Epig. 16.

Of Him selfe. Epig. 17.

Of Phantasmo a Mistris Boaster. Epig. 18.

In Sextum. Epig. 19.

Epig. 20.

Cynna's Theft. Epig. 21.

Of Luce and her 4. Husbands, 3. of them thus Named, Small, Forman, Middleton. Epig. 22.

More-dew's Payment. Epig. 23.

Clyms Account. Epig. 24.

Of Sim, and his speedy Marriage. Epig. 25.

A Manly Woman the best Wife. Epig. 26.

The Womans Answer. Epig. 27.

Tom's good Fortune in being Rob'd. Epig. 28.

Of Lawyers and Poets. Epig. 29.

In Ignotum. Epig. 30.

In Sprusam. Epig. 31.

Of the Riming Sculler. Epig. 32.

Sues Slip. Epig. 33.

Of Win and her Sutors. Epig: 34.

Tym's Studiosity. Epig. 35.

AEnigma.

Of an Egregious Whoore. Epig. 36.

Of Felo and his Poetry. Epig. 37.

To his Vnconstant Mistris. Epig. 38.

Woman (quasi) Woe-man. Epig. 39.

For Lawyers. Epig. 40.

Speudall's Pollicie. Epig. 41.

Of Liber too wary to Thriue. Epig. 42.

In Lesbiam, ingratam. Epig. 43.

Sir Hughes mistake. Epig. 44.

In Pontum. Epig. 45.

In Milonem. Epig: 46.

Of Wine. Epig. 47.

In Presbiterum. Epig. 48.

In Ignotum. Epig. 49.

The Iealous Man.

The Wittall.

Epig. 50.

Incerti Authoris Of a Bald-man. Epig. 51.

An Answer to the same. Epig. 52.

In Philippum. Epig: 53.

To his Ingenious Friend Will: Goddard of his Booke intituled: Waspes. Epig. 54.

Amor ex visu. Of a Blind-man, Louing. Epig. 55.

Maxima amicitia inter aequales. The Younger Brother to the Elder. Epig. 56.

Vaitas non est numerus. Epig. 57.

Againe: Vnus Homo nullus homo. Epig. 58.

Natura nihil agit frustra. Against Painted Women. Epig. 59.

To his Hearts conciled Honor.

In Amicam dotem quaerentem. Epig. 60.

Of a Lawyer and a Physitian, which the Better man. Epig. 61.

Of 2. Painters contending for Preeminence in their Art. Epig. 62.

To the worthy Author vpon these Epigrams.

THE Third Booke of Humours: Intituled Notes from BLACK-FRYERS.

Epigram. To his Lou: Chamber-Fellow, and nearest Friend NAT: GVRLIN Of Lincolnes-Inne Gent.

Notes from Black-Fryers.

To his worthy Friend, H.F. vpon his Notes from BLACK-FRYERS.

Epilogue. The Author for Himselfe.

Post-script to his Book-binder.

§

§

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CERTAIN ELEGIES, DONE BY SVNDRIE Excellent Wits.

WITH Satyres and Epigrames.

LONDON, Printed by B: A: for Miles Partriche, and are to be solde at his shoppe neare Saint Dunstons Church in Fleet-streete. 1618.

An Elegie by F. B.

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SO Madam may my verses pleasing be,

So may you laugh at them, and not at me.

Tis something to you I would gladly say,

But how to doe it, cannot finde the way:

I would auoyde the common troden wayes,

To Ladyes vs'd, which be or loue or prayse:

As for the first, that little wit I haue,

Is not yet growne so neere vnto the graue,

But that I can by that dim-fading light.

Perceiue of what, and vnto whom I write:

Let such as in a hopelesse, witlesse rage,

Can sigh a quire, and reade it to a page,

Such as can make ten Sonets ere they rest,

When each is but a a great blot at the best,

Such (as) can backes of bookes, and windows fill,

With their (too furious Diamond and Quill)

Such as are well resolued to end their dayes,

With a loude laughter blowne behind the Sea:

Such as are mortified, that they can liue,

[Page]Laught at by all the world, and yet forgiue,

Write loue to you, I would not willingly,

Be pointed at in euery company,

As was that little Tayler, who till death

Was hote in loue with Queene Elizabeth.

And for my last, in all my liuing dayes,

I neuer yet did liuing creature prayse,

In verse, not prose, and when I doe beginne,

Ile picke some woman out, as full of sinne,

As you are sull of vertue, with a soule

As blacke as yours is white, a face as foule,

As yours is beautifull, for it shall be

Out of the rules of Physiognomie.

So farre, that I doe feare, I must displace,

The arte a little, to let in the face.

It shall at least fower faces bee below,

The Diuels and her parched corpes shall show

In hir loose skin, as if some spirit she were,

Kept in a bagge, by some great Coniurer:

Her breath shall be as horrible and vilde,

As euery word you speake is sweet and milde:

It shall be such a one, as will not be,

Couered with any art or policie.

But let her take all waters, fumes and drinke,

Shee shall make nothing but a dearer stinke.

She shall haue such a face, and such a nose,

As will not stand in any thing but prose:

If I bestow my prayses vpon such,

[Page]Tis Charity, and I shall merite much,

My prayse will come to her like a full bowle,

Bestow'd at most need on a thirsty soule,

Where if I sing your praises in my ryme,

I loose my incke, my paper and my time,

Adde nothing to your euer flowing store,

And tell you noughts but what you knew before,

Nor doe the vertuous minded, which I sweare

Madam, I thinke you are, delight to heare

Their owne perfections into question brought,

But stoppe their eares at them, for if I thought

You tooke a pride, to haue your vertues knowne,

(Pardon me Madam) I should thinke them none,

But if your braue thoughts (which I must respect

Aboue your glorious titles) shall accept

These harsh disordered lines, I shall ere long

Dresse vp your vertues new, in a new song:

Yet far from all base prayse of flatterie.

Although I know what ere my verses be,

They will like the most seruile flatterie shew,

If I write truth, and make my subiect you.

Fr. Beau:

An Elegie on the Lady Penelope Clifton. By M. Dr.

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MVst I needes write, who's he that can refuse'

He wants a mind for her that hath no Muse

The thought of her doth heau'nly rage inspire.

Next powerfull to those clouen tongues of fire,

Since I knew ought, time neuer did allow,

Me stuffe fit for an Elegie till now.

When France and Englands Henries dy'de my quill,

Why I know not, but it that while lay still,

Tis more then greatnesse that my spirit must rayse,

To obserue custome I vse not to prayse,

Nor the least thought of mine yet ere depended

On any one from whom she was descended,

That for their fauour I this way should wooe,

As some poore wretched thing perhaps may doe.

I gaine the end whereat I onely ayme,

If by my freedome I may giue her fame [...]

Walking then forth, being newly vp from bed,

(Oh) Sir quoth one, the Lady Clifron's dead,

[Page]When but that reason my sterne rage withstood,

My hand had sure beene guilty of his bloud.

If shee bee so, must thy rude tongue confesse it,

And com'st thou too so coldly to expresse it.

Thou shoul'dst haue giuē a shrike to make me fear

That might haue slain what euer had bin neer th [...]

Thou should'st haue com'n like Time with thy scalp

And in both hands thou should'st haue brought t [...]

Casting vpon me such a dreadfull looke,

As seene a spirit, or th'adst beene thunder stroo [...]

And gazing on me so a little space,

Thou should'st haue shot thine eye-balls in my fa [...]

Then falling at my feet thou should'st haue sayd,

(Oh) she is gone, and Nature with her dead.

With this ill newes amaz'd, by chance I past

By that neere groue, whereas both first and last

I saw her, not three months before she dy'd,

When though full summer gan to vaile her pride

And that I saw men lead home ripened corn,

Besides aduis'd me well, I durst haue sworne,

The lingring yeare the Autumne had reiourn'd,

And the fresh spring had beene againe return'd,

Her delicacie, louelinesse and grace,

With such a summer brauery deckt the place,

But now alas it look'd forlorne and dead,

And where she stood the fading leaues were she

Presenting so much sorrow to my sight,

(Oh) God thought I, this is her Embleme right,

[Page]sure I thinke it cannot but bee thought,

That I to her by prouidence was brought:

[...]or that the Fates foredooming she should dye,

Shew'd me this wondrous master-peece, that I

Should sing her Funerall, that the world should know it

That Heau'n did thinke her worthy of a Poet:

My hand is fatall, nor doth Fortune doubt,

For what it writes, not fire shall ere raze out.

A thousand silken puppets should haue dy'de,

And in their fulsome coffins putrifide:

Ere in my lines, you of their names should heare,

Or in the world tell such there euer were,

Whose memory shall from the earth decay,

Before those ragges be worne they gaue away,

Had I her godlike features neuer seene,

Poore slight report had told me she had beene

A handsome Lady, comely, very well;

And so might I haue liu'd an Infidell,

As many doe which did her neuer see,

Or cannot credite what shee was by me:

Nature, her selfe that before Art prefers,

To goe beyond all our Cosmographers,

By Charts and Mappes exactly that haue showne,

All of this earth that euer could be known;

For that shee would aboue them all descrie,

What art could not by any mortall eye:

A mappe of heauen in her rare features drue,

And that she did so liuely and so true,

[Page]That any soule but seeing it, might sweare,

That all was perfect heauenly that was there:

If euer any painter were so blest,

To draw that face which so much heauen exprest,

If in his best of skill he did her right,

I wish it neuer may come in my sight;

I greatly doubt my faith, weake man, left I

Should to that face commit Idolatrie.

Death might haue tyth'd her sexe, but for this one

Nay haue ta'ne halfe, to haue let her alone:

Such as their wrinckled temples to supply,

Cyment them vp with sluttish Mercurie.

Such as vndrest, were able to affright,

A valiant man approaching him by night:

Death might haue taken such, her end defer'd,

Vntill the dayes shee had been clymaterd:

When she would haue been at threescore years & thr

Such as our best, at three and twenty be,

With enuie then he might haue ouerthrowne her,

When age nor time had power to ceaze vpon her

But when the vnpittying Fates her end decreede,

They to her end did instantly proceed,

For well they knew if she had languish'd so,

As those which hence by naturall causes goe:

So many prayers and teares for her had spoken,

As certainely theyr yron lawes had broken,

And had wak'd heauen, who clearly would haue sho

That change of kingdoms to her death she ow'd,

[Page]And that the world still of her end might thinke,

It would haue let some neighbouring mountaine sinke

Or the vaste sea, it in on vs to caste,

As Seuerne did about some fiue yeares past,

Or some sterne Commet his curld top to reare,

Whose length should measure half our Hemispheare

Holding this height, to say some will not sticke,

That now I raue, and am grow'n lunaticke,

You of what sexe so ere you be, you lye,

Tis thou thy selfe art lunatique, not I:

I charge you in her name that thus is gone,

That may coniure you if you be not stone,

That you no harsh nor shallow rymes decline

Vpon that day wherein you shall reade mine,

Such as indeed are falsely tearmed verse,

And will but sit like moath's vpon her Herse,)

Nor that no child, no chambermaid, nor page

Disturbe the roome the whil'st my sacred rage,

In reading is, but whilst you heare it read,

Suppose before you, that you see her dead,

The walles about you hung with mournfull blacke,

And nothing for her funerall doth lacke:

And when this period giues you leaue to pause,

Cast vp your eyes and sigh for my applause.

An Elegie. by N. H.

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WHether those Honours, or else Loue, it be

That on his windie wings doth carry me:

I find thy outward fauours much exchang'd,

And their fayre order fals'd, and disarang'd,

I seeke thee in thy selfe, but cannot see,

A trace or shadow that resembles thee,

Those eyes, that wont the morning light out-shining,

And by reflection, our dull beames refining,

Whose motion did from earthly darknesse free vs,

Does with neglect regard, and slightly see vs,

Those lips that wonting to depart in sunder,

Charm'd the admiring hearer in his wonder:

Vse not their power, as fainting in their course,

Nor does thy sauing tongue display her force,

Thy heart that in free graces so abounded,

Is now with iealousies and feares surrounded,

Pale trembling, doubt, with many ey'd suspition,

Keepes solemne court in thy sad disposition,

Briefly, so desperate a change I finde,

As suddenlie is not to be definde,

[Page] [...] these new honours or ambition,

Be arches that thy feares are founded on,

Be lesse ambitious, seeke to comprehend

Lesse in thy vaste thoughts, and thy feares will end:

If it be loue, that does deuide thy rest,

And waken vp those tumults in thy brest,

It askes more, pardon for thy beautie's such,

As for mans good thou canst not loue too much.

Thine age is tender. and to loue inuites,

Then seeke out thy required appetites,

Which when thou hast encountred in some one

Of thousands, whose supreame perfection,

Will bee a double soule, to loue and serue,

Thine art shall bee such duty to preserue,

And with deare grace nurse the concealed fire,

Till it to glorious action may aspire:

Which though but seldome, when it does arriue,

And in a well espyed occasion thriue,

Shall open wonders, such as by Cupids leaue,

None but the elder louers can conceyue,

Whom thou from point to point must imitate,

And from their ground new principles create,

Which thou to thy occasions must apply,

And let no minutes passe, vnused by,

Bee well advisde, and warie in thy choyce,

And know him well, to whom thou giuest thy voyce

So perfect notices, required are

Of him, with whom thine honour goes so farre,

[Page]But hauing well explor'd, it will behoue

Thou be not nice, to shew that thou do'st loue,

Discretion, asking it should be reueal'd,

As cleare to him, as from the world conceal'd,

For inundacitie, did neuer ayde,

And hath loues childhood oftentimes betrayde,

Besides, there's losse of time in Ceremonie,

Ere ought be done, the world being call'd to eye

Thine actiue wit, with iealous thought fore-runne.

And let the businesse many times be done,

With fauours numberlesse, which thou shalt besto [...]

Ere thou in distance of opinion grow.

But walke in secret, and consult with night,

And shun the dangers of the treasnous light.

Sleepe silent Mother euer friend to loue,

Will thy proportions Secretarie proue,

And in her quiet sayles her forfaites hide,

Which are no faults but when they are espied,

N. H.

An Elegie on the death of the three sonnes of the Lord Sheffeild, drowned neere where Trent falleth into Humber.

[Page]

LIght Sonets hence, and to loose louers flie,

And mournfull maydens sing an Elegie,

On those three Sheffe [...]ds ouerwhelm'd with waues,

Whose iosse the teares of all the Muses craues,

A thing so full of pitty as this was,

Me thinkes (for nothing) slightly should not passe:

Treble this losse was, why should it not borrow,

Through this Isles tripple parts, a treble sorrow:

But Fate did this to let the world to know,

That sorrow which from common causes grow

Are not worth mourning for, the losse to beare,

But of one onely son's not worth a teare,

Some tender hearted man as I may spend

Some teares (perhaps) for a deceased friend:

Some men perhaps their wiues late death may rue,

Or wiues their husbands, but such be but few:

Care that hath vs'd the hearts of men to tuch,

So oft and deepely, will not now be such,

Who will care for losse of maintenance, or place,

Fame, Liberty, or of the Princes grace,

Or sutes in law, by vile corruption croste,

When he shall finde that this which he hath lost,

(Alasse) is nothing to theirs which did lose

Three sonnes at once so excellent as those:

May it be fear'd that this in time may breed

Hard hearts in men to their owne naturall seed,

That in respect of this great losse of theirs,

[Page]Men will scarce mourne the de [...]th of their own heir

Through all this Isle their losse so publike is,

That euery man doth take them to be his,

And as a plague which had beginnings there,

So catching is and raigning euery where,

That those the farth'st remote as much do rue.

As those then most familiarly that knew thee,

Children with this disaster are wex'd sage,

And like to men that strooken are in age,

Talke what it is, three children at one time,

Thus to haue drown'd, and in their very prime,

Yea, and doe learne to act the same so well

That then old folks, they better can it tell.

Inuention oft, that passion vsde to faine,

In sorrow of it selfe, but sleight and meane,

To make it seeme great, that here shall not need,

For that this subiect doth so farre exceed

All forc'd expression, that what Poesie shal

Happily thinke to grace it selfe withall,

Fals so below it, that it rather borrowes

Grace from their griefe, then addeth to their sorrow

For sad mischance thus in the losse of three,

To shew it selfe the vtmost it could be;

Also exacting by the selfe same Law

The vtmost teares that sorrow, had to draw

All future times hath vtterly preuented

Of a more losse, or more to be lamented,

Whilest in fayre youth they liuely flourisht here,

To their kind Parents they were onely deare,

[Page]But being dead, now euery one doth take

Them for their owne, aud doe like sorrow make.

As for their owne begot, as they pretended

Hope in the issue, which should haue descended

From them againe: nor here doth end our sorrow,

But those of vs that shall be borne to morrow,

Still shall lament them, and when times shall count,

To what vaste nomber passed yeares shall mount,

They from their death's shall duly reckon so,

As from the Deluge former vs'd to doe.

O cruell Humber, guilty of their gore,

I nowe beleeue more then I did before

The British story, that thy name begunne,

Of kingly Humber, an inuading Hunne,

By thee deuoured, for tis likely thou

With bloud wert christned, bloud thirsty till now,

The Owse, the Don, & that more siluer Trent,

To drowne these Sheffeilds, as yee gaue consent,

Shall curse the time, that ere you were infused,

Which haue your waters basely thus abused:

The groueling Boore, yee hinder not to goe,

And at his pleasure firrie to and fro:

The very best part of whose soule and bloud,

Compar'd with theirs is viler then thy mud.

But wherefore paper doe I idely spend

On these deafe waters to so little end.

And vp to starry heau'n doe I not looke,

In which, as in an euerlasting Booke:

Our ends are written, O let times reherse,

The [...] losse in their sad anniuerse.

M. D.

The Author in praise of his owne BOOKE.

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COmmend my Selfe? No! But my Booke I may!

And boldly (blamelesse) 'tis Praise-worthy say.

How so? The sencelesse Substance well may plead,

My Selfe I was not, when the Booke I made.

Of his deare Friend the Author, H. F.

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OF what is heere thou'lt not haue any write

Prayses: that willing, would: and iustly might,

Permit me then! For Ile Praise what I see

Deficient heere (thy name FITZ-IEOFFERY,)

Where English FITZ aright, and I ha' done

So rightly art thou called IEOFFERYES-Sonne.

Then adde time Age but to thy industry,

In thee againe will liue Old-IEOFFERY.

NATH: GVRLYN.

The Author's Answer.

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OF what is Heere I forbid any Write

Praises. Why? Nothing Heere can merite it:

Yet Ile Permit thee. Thoul't but Praise my Name.

And that's Deficient. Then Praise not for shame

Where do (FITZ) right: Write, place it to ye minde:

Stil rightly must (FITZ) IEOFFERYES come behind wrought:

French must turne English first, (strange wonders)

(Olde) be a new Borne: The (Sonne) brought to naught.

HORAT: De Arte Poeti.

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NVnc satis est dixisse, Ego mira poemata pango:

Occupet extremum scabies!

Anglicè sic

NOw 'tis inough to speake,

I wondrous Poemes make:

Then, Diuell the hindmost take.

Satyra prima.

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LIB: 1.

VVHo'd not at venture Write? So many waies

A man may proue a Poet now a daies?

Does Nature witt afford to breake a Ieft?

This is a Poet: and his friends protest

He is to blame he Writes not: when (indeed,)

Th'Illiterate Gull can neither write nor read.

Let Nature faile! Takes he but so much Paine,

To write obscurely: adding so much Braine.

As end his crabbed sencelesse verse in Rime:

This might a Poet beene in Perseus time.

[Page]And more! (Though Horace in his book reherses)

(Nature and Arte are both requir'd in Verses.)

There are those, of their Poetry will vaunt,

Which do (God wot) both Wit & Learning want:

I know them! Such as they at Table sit

Each Iest you speake, will to a Metre fit.

And thus your Witt's sell for their priuate gaine

And bee accounted Poets for their paine.

Others there are, that Others workes suruay,

And must from all thinges some thing filtch away,

Who if to weaker Braines they can vnfolde

A Learned Author: nick a Phrase thats olde:

Or change but one word in a line or two:

Straight all's their owne, they write, who doubts it so?

When I wood scarce beleeu't, though they, in fine,

To euery Verse subscribe: By Ioue 'tis mine.

Nor is't [...]inough they this in priuate show,

But these are Poets, all the world must know.

[Page]Tis strange to see what stretching is of Wits,

What spare of speech this plentious Presse begets.

Some (if you keepe them company) you'l finde

As choise to breake a Iest as to bteake winde.

And what's the reason thinke ye? Onely this:

All they can speak's too little for the Presse.

Where 'tis not losse of Friend, Life, Libertie,

Shall cause them keepe a Iest in secrecy.

Others haue helpes: when their Inuention faile,

Straight they begin abusiuely to raile.

Then out comes Whelps of the olde Dog: for sport:

Shall barke at Great ones: bite the meaner sort:

When the On-setters (after all their paine:

For feare, woo'd gladly call them in againe.

And these will Poets bee accounted too:

Because they Dare doe more then others doe.

Though they their Verses write, (a man may say:)

As Clown's get Bastards, and straight runne away.

[Page] Montanus needes will bee a Poet! why?

Because the Muses on a Mountaine hy

Inhabited. Peto for that his Name

Denotes him Poet in the Anagrame:

And Quaint Castilio: (since his Father dy'd!)

Who many Volumes publish't: and beside

Diuers neglected, Left vnto his Son:

Which dubbes him Poet, by praescription.

True! And Castilio will approued bee,

Or he will Print his Fathers Legacy.

And marke Crisippo, but what shifts he'l finde,

Ere he'l bee counted once to come behinde,

In euery Booke he will bespeake afore:

The comming out, roome for halfe a score

Or a dozen Verses, which he'l hugely puffe

With commendations of the Authors stuffe.

And in Hyperbolyes his Name extoll

Yond Homer, Virgill, Ouide, Iuuenall.

[Page]Vouching no better Volume, ere was Writ,

And that himselfe hath had a Hand in it.

Oh this vaine-Praise-Affecting Poetry

Is a bewitching-itching Leoprosie:

That makes men Rub, scrub, rouz and touz their Braine,

Pump their Pates dry for Iests: and all to gaine

So much Report: might serue to make them vaunt,

They are Applauded (though of Ignorant.)

They'l snatch, and scratch, and scrape (though nere so ill)

And rather smart then holde their fingers still:

Be there a Citty show: or sight at Court:

Of Acts Heroicke: or of Princely sport:

(which right to write of, or in Type to tell:

Might taxe a Daniels or a Spencers quill.)

Marke how these hungerbit Inuentions scud

To eye! to spy! All for no other good

Then onely this! poore this! But to obtaine:

Some sodder for their needy greedy straine.

[Page]See then how (Enuy) gin's her eyes to fat

On dainties plenty, and repines there at!

How muttering Momus (that knowes not to bite,

Grumbles and mumbles mouthfuls out of spite.

How currish (Critticks) most seuerely harke:

Ready at each sound of applause to barke.

How all together, and how each a part

Stretch, retch, faine, strain, Inuention, Iudgement Art

Raile, Lybell: what not? Rather then labour loose

Iest on your Gesture: or be-lye your cloathes.

A subiect fitter for a Beadles fist

Then the tart lines of a smart Satyrist.

Let Natures causes (which are too profound

For euery blockish sottish Pate to sound)

Produce some monster: some rare spectacle:

Some seauen yeares Wonder: Ages miracle:

Bee it a worke of nere so sleight a waight,

It is recorded vp in Metre straight,

[Page]And counted purchase of no small renowne,

To heare the Praise sung in a Market-towne.

How many Volumes lye neglected thrust

In euery Bench-hole? euery heape of dust?

Which from some Gowries practise, Powder plot,

Or Tiburne Lectur's, all their substance got:

Yet tosse our Time-stalles youll admire the rout

Of carelesse fearelesse Pamphlets flye about.

Bookes, made of Ballades: Workes, of Playes,

Sightes, to be Read of my Lo: Maiors day's:

Post's, lately set forth: Bearing (their Backe at)

Letters, of all sorts: An intollerable Packet.

Villains discouery, by Lanthorn and Candle-light:

(strange if the author should not see it to hādle right)

A Quest of Inquirie: (Iacke a Douer's)

The Iests of Scoggin: and diuers others

(which no man Better the Stationer knowes)

Wonderfull Writers; Poets in Prose.

[Page]What poste pin'd Poets that on each base Theame,

With Inuocations vexe Apollo's name.

Springes for Woodcockes: Doctor Merriman:

Rub and a good Cast: Taylor the Terriman.

Fennor, with his Vnisounding Eare word;

The vnreasonable Epigramatist of Hereford:

Rowland with his Knaues a murniuall;

Non worth the calling for, a fire burne em all;

And number numberlesse that march (vutolde)

Mongst Almanacks and Pippins, to be solde.

Apologie.

THese Ill which better Dare thē know to wrigh [...]

Makes those (I know) not dare wt better might

For who ist now attempts to Print, but knowes,

He must be one or censured on, of Those!

[Page]For my part (Gallants) it was nere my hap,

On high Pernassus Top, to take a nap:

Or the Diuine Nine sisters Fount to see:

Whence I might steale a sip of Poetry.

These Idle Verses (which I Idly made)

None but the Idle I request to read:

Then what Applause looke I for, all may guesse,

When none may looke for Praise from Idlenes.

Finis Saty: Primae.

Satyra Secunda.

[Page]

[Page]

A MORALL SATYRE.

Sunt Videntur.

QVidam & non

Videntur Sunt

[Page]

Proaemium.

I Taxe no Times, I beare no Furyes scourge:

I bring no powerfull Fountaine springes to purge

This vicefull Lerna, this Augean stye,

From long neglected noysome filthery.

Vaunt Varlots then: Grizely Tartarian curres:

Vice-Pack-horses: Swaines of inchanting pleasures:

Wallow in Lake of Leaudnesse: racket: yell

And all the world with thundring vproare fill,

Till angry Loue his Chaos drench agen

And a new nature of milde molde begin.

Yet knowe (Earths Of-scums) I haue force, and woo'd

Vncase, vnlase, your Leaudnes: make ye scud:

Lash at Lines length: and instrike such a print,

Shu'd make ye startle, had ye hartes of flint,

Coo'd I finde Patrons to maintaine me in't.

[Page]BVt range my Muse! find out some fresher Game,

Some Mayden matter, some vnchased Theame.

Beat through ye throwes of these disordered times,

The thorny thickets of contagious crimes,

And rouz from squat, pursue with aeger cry,

The lurking Leaudnesse, strong scent villany,

Of those close Foxes, who (in milder skins)

Inuey, and guesse inuectiuely at Sinnes:

Bite with sharpe censure: and seuerely scan

The inward Vertues, by the outward man.

Beshrow mee (Sirs) if I dare strout in street,

Winke at a Window: A God-dam-me greet:

Vsher a Lady: but salute her Gloue:

Or Kisse a Maide for manners more then Loue:

Cringe to a Scriuener: be conuersing seene

In Ludgate, with a broken Citizen:

[Page]Turne oft in Pauls: call for a stoole o'th Stage:

Or walke atended with my Hackney Page:

Pace Turnball, Shorditch, Long-lane: or Pickt-hatch

Least I be taken by this heedfull watch.

These pickthanke Pesants; that with Lynceus eye,

Inspect mans Actions too Iniuriously.

First to yon Masse of man: yon loade of Guts,

That all he handles in his belly puts:

Who euery meales meate makes a Masse cry,

Of Shambles, Poultry, Sea variety.

How on the Table he his Panch doth rest,

And stuffes it as a Wallet of the best

Yet close his Buttockes rammes vp as in Pound

For feare o'th worst, to'th'good-behauiour bound

S [...]orts at mid-day: yet startles at the sturre,

Of a betraying Boote, or tel-tale Spurre:

Cryes out of Fashions, as of Fasting-dayes,

Rebukes Excesse: gainst Vanityes inueyes:

[Page]Hates Vice as Hunger: and abhorres to stand

In sight of a (Sir reuerance) Saffron-band.

Tell him his Wo [...]ship is so strictly wise:

His closest Trounces, full as full of vice.

As wide from Vertues meane as Largest size.

Next to yon Prester Iohn, that Learned Clarke:

Who after all my closest acts doth harke.

A man, that for a Wise one sure woo'd passe,

Shu'd there but 6. bee, as there 7. was:

Hee heretofore (out of his Loue exceeding)

Woo'd euer bee examining my Reading:

Now (more Officious) euer Checking is:

A strickt Remembrancer of all amisse.

Bid him bee lesse in Office: more in Loue:

Least he ere long Iacke out of Office proue.

Laugh, Laugh, Demorritus! who can hold to hear

Socraticke Doctors, Catoes most austeer.

[Page]Roule vp the Records of Antiquity,

To frame Abridgements for youth's Liberty.

Accuse Wits folly. Times strange alterations:

The vaine expence of cloth consuming fashions,

When their allowance was (themselues can [...]ell)

At least vnto a Codpisse halfe an Ell.

Lend me Athenian but a while thy light:

To scowre the scoutes, the Lurking holes of Spite,

And execrable Enuy: see the rout

Of Rascals [...] venome Vermin, I'le finde out:

Cankermouth'd Catchpoles, that in Ambush lye,

To wreck, to seck Vertues aeternitie:

With poysnous blast of miscreant Infamy.

( [...]ustinian) is too Fortunate to beare

The name of Iust: (Flora) too Curtious farre

To harbour Honesty: (Varro) held to bee

Vaine, for his skilfull vaine in Poetry.

[Page] (Fantasticke) cannot with his Flaunders feete

Lock'd in his foure-wheele-casket vex the street:

Knocke in a Tauerne, but his Father heares,

Some 20 Leagues off. Luxurio feares

R [...]taine a seruant fairer then his wife:

Nor will L [...]rella in despair of Life

Tell of her side-stitch or the Belly-ake,

Le [...]st she bee said Lucinas ayde to lacke.

Who is't from scourge of Censure can scape free,

Yea (Temperate Nature) men will jerke at thee!

How suffer some but for a Sanguin Nose?

A Scarlet scone? when each Logitian knowes

'Tis Vertues colour. How enuy some at

A Stirrill Chin? Or a top naked Pate?

Emblem of Truth, and Graces. What reproofe

Goes with a Limping Leg? Or Vulcan Hoofe?

Yea some so farre presume, as to define

Knaues, by their Bunch-back's, and their Goggle-eyne

[Page]When Accidents (affirmes the Stagerite)

Not Naturall cause no note but in Spirit.

Peace then Melampus, peace Albertus, Cocles:

Ptolomie, Rasis, and Auerroes.

Gall [...]n, Palemon: hence be silent all,

Or prone the cunning Huperphisicall.

And all lesse learn'd in Rules of Phisnomy:

That Natures notes, holde markes of Infamy.

Else (min [...]ing Madam's) why doe we (alas!)

Pine at your Pencill and conspiring Glasse?

Your Curles, Purles, P [...]rriwigs, your Whalebone-wheels?

That shelter all defects from head to heeles.

Making but Good what these count Vicious:

Yet not iniustly termed odious.

To strout in Purple or rich Scarlet dye

With siluer bar [...]es begarded thriftily:

To set in print the Haire: Character the Face:

Or dye in graine the Ruffe for Visage grace.

[Page]To clog the Eare with plummets: clag the wrests

With Busk-points, Ribbons, or Rebato-Twists:

From Barbors tyranny to saue a locke,

His Mistris wanton fingers to prouoke:

Such Trifles, Toyes: in these sharpe Critti [...]ks view,

Throwes vs in number of the damued Crue.

As if a Frounced, pounced, Pale coo'd not,

As much Braine couer, as a Stoike cut.

Or practicke Vertue, might not lodge as soone

Vnder a Silken, as a Cynicke gowne.

Fond fond Philosophers: who e're definde

Vertue a Habite of the Cloathes but minde?

Tell me (precisely) what auailes it ware,

A Bongrace Bonnet, Eye-brow shorter Haire?

A Circumcized Ruffe? Conuerting Eye?

In Sadnesse? Yes Indeed? Yea Verily?

To beare a Bible euery Edifying day

Of an Armefull, (beside the Apochriphay?

[Page]To carry no more cloath then skin: to show

The Stockens worne at Knees, the Shooes at Toe?

If thou but nod at Fryers, Or be tane

Cloasly conuerting an impure Queane?

Found in a Morgage, not a minute spare?

Or turne Informer for a demyshare.

Who Vertue holdes a bare apparant Good,

Makes nothing Vice, that may assume a hood,

A vaile of Well, pure honesty no more

Then flat Hypocrisie: a painted Whore.

Countes nothing more (when indeed nothing lesse)

Then others mens Opinions Happines.

And Vertue (rare!) All thinges to be at End:

When euery action needs to Good must tend.

Giue me a Genius: a well tempred minde

which no Feare vrge: no Syren note can winde

From way of Right: that doth all Good approue

For no Good else, but for bare Vertues Loue.

[Page]Whome not Cymerian darknes, more then day:

Nor Giges Ring could corrupt any way.

A Minde well mou [...]ted, that will scoffe at Hate,

Trample on [...]ortune, feircel Incounter Fate,

Spurne at the sound of Vulgar praise as base:

Spit a defiance in proud Enuyes face:

An armed Conscience that dares grapple with

A muster of Opinions, in the teeth:

Who though a Theater should striue bring out

His closest grosest Faults, and all about

Set on to barke: durst boldly stand it out.

Who thinks to trauerse so vpright the Stage

(Free from Controle) of this Censorious Age:

Or aimes in Action at the Vulgar grace,

Of Hydra-Headed multitude, Applause;

Need frame him selfe a Nature that will brooke

As many shapes as euer Proteus tooke.

To crye God saue you with a Courtly grace,

[Page]To Kisse the Hand, to lay at Foote the Face:

To act the Cros-point Longey sleightly:

Is held Affecting Proud Humility.

To Vaile the Bonnet: stiffe as Elephant,

A Furlong off to cast a Complement:

To titch the Brimmes: or scarce to speake at all:

Wee stately, scornefull, hatefull Gesture call.

And carelesse carriage argues Loues neglect:

In best indeauours Critticks finde defect.

Let me no oftner then Apollo appeare

To Laugh, to skip (like Phaebus) once a yeare,

To goe more formall then my wonted fashion,

Corrected in my Taylours last Edition.

To rectifie my Fore-top: or assume,

For one nights Reuels a 3. story Plume:

(Though some will La [...]es we are, and Le [...]kes as oft,

And with a more (perchance) Ambitious thought,)

Straight 'tis surmised, rumord round about

[Page]I roare, I score, I lauish, lash it out.

Trifle Times Treasure: And keepe open port,

To all Companions of licentious sort.

When in a day or two, being found alone,

Hemmed in the hopefull habite of a Gowne.

By me a Plowdon or a Littleton.

Lord! what a new bred fame gins hence to passe,

How I am changed from the man I was?

Thus I can expectation falsify:

Weary out Censure in vncertainty:

Redeeme Time as I list: proue Want of Wit

In those that most inuectiue jerke at it:

And most precize, of greatest vice condemne.

Making my Faults theirs: by Belying them.

Know I can Frolique be with (Fregio)

Court it in Comptest phrase with (Curio.)

Come deepe the Caster: and Carouce it free.

(As farre as Vertues limites Licence mee.)

[Page]In as rich Grograns, Sattins, Tissues, goe

As Florence, Carles, Tartary can showe.

Meet, and crye farwell, to those spirits bolde

By Pistoll tenure that their Liuings holde,

Confer with Crop-eard knights ath'post; heare tell

Of Stangate prizes, and of Shooters Hill,

Of Brothells, Stewes, of vilest villanies,

And learne out Vertue by her contraries.

Fond Affectation, to be counted Great,

To be The man held: to be pointed at.

I eu're neglected. Singularitye

May sometimes vertue be: nere Policye.

Who is a man of Note (not this from me)

Is sure ne're to offend in secrecie:

To liue in Bondage in Fames Iealosie.

Tis not the mouthfull of mans breath I care,

Nor seuere Censure of strict Critick feare

In spite of Enuy, Hate 'twas neuer known:

[Page] But euer Fame will Vertue waite vpon;

And now, when Vertue Vice is held: whome is't

We may not Praise or Dispraise as wee list?

THen (Snarling curres) turn to this gaully slyme.

Feed on the putrid substance of my Ryme,

Heer's Hotch-pot: Sosse: prouided filling stuffe

Shall finde your greedy Censures worke inough.

Where if I finde ye! Or but spie a traine:

A fresh haue at yee (Varlots) once againe.

FINIS.

To his worthy Friend vpon these Satyres.

[Page]

SAtyres in English? I pray God your fate,

Send's you not into the world too late

To proue there may be such: For there ha's bin

So much deceit in Satyres, 'tis a Sin

(Almost) to hope for good ones: They who best

Haue done, haue onely Dar'd: and more exprest

Their Passions, then a Poem. Nay eeuen all

Doe but conuert their little Braines to gall:

And bee it bitter once they care not then

How venomous it be. Which errors when

I see, and see how well approu'd they are,

'Tis more then miracle, Your's be so farre

Distinguished. And that you suruiue to Write,

More out of true discerning then of Spite.

I. STEPHENS.

THE SECOND BOOKE: OF Satyricall Epigram's.

[Page]

[Page]

To his True Friend Tho: Fletcher of LINCOLN'S-INNE Gent:

TOM!) 'twas thy Speeches did me first possesse

These scattered E [...]igramm's deseru'd the Presse.

VVhose Learned Iudgement, and Loue, I knew such,

Might wel Commend, and Command, twice as much.

If (Reader) then heer's ought may breed delight,

Giue halfe the thankes to him it brought to light.

Nor blush not (Tom!) nor blame not! that I seeme,

Thee the halfe-parent of my Booke to deeme.

Heer's nought but Good (if nothing they mis-scan!)

Let Critticks, Momus, All, say what they can!

Th'are Good: who doubts it? not, for ought I know:

Yet Good Ile sweare: because Thou saist th'are so.

[Page]

Satyricall Epigram's.

Ad Emptorem. Epig: 1.

THese Epigrams thou see'st whose are they? mine?

No! The Book-binders: buy thē, they are thine.

In Thrasonem. Epig: 2.

SInce (Thraso) met one stoutly in the field,

He cracks his Spirit knowes not how to yeeld.

Looks big! Sweares! stroutes with set-side armes ye streets:

Yet gently yeelds the wall to all he meets.

And to his Friend that askes the reason why?

His Answer's this: my selfe I grace thereby.

For euery one, the common Prouerbe knowes:

That All-wayes to the Wall the weakest goes.

[Page]

Of a Rayling Clyent. Epig. 3.

I Call'd one Knaue: who answered: (Sir) not so!

The Knaue doth all-way's with the Lawyer goe.

How could I well but well approue his speech?

Each Lawyer walkes, his Clyent at his breech.

Of Debt. Epig. 4.

TO bee Indebted is a shame (men say!)

Then 'tis Confessing of a shame, to Pay.

In Medicum. Epig. 5.

WHen (Mingo) cries How do you sir! tis thought

He Patients wanteth? & his practic's nought.

Wherefore of late now euery one he meeteth,

[Page]With Sir I'm glad to see you well hee greeteth.

But who'l beleeue him now, when all can tell

The world goes Ill with him when all are Well?

Against the Accademicks of their abusiue * Ignoramus. Epig. 6.

THe Law is in our Hands! How dare ye then

Abusiue bee? Cause ye are Law-lésse men:

Your fault was great! but wee neglect the same,

For ye excuse your Error in the * Name.

In Cornutum. Epig. 7.

ONe tolde his wife a Harts-bead he had bought

To hang his Hat vpon: and home it brought,

To whome his frugall Wife: what needs this care?

I hope (sweete Hart) your Head your hat can beare.

[Page]

No-lawes Reformation. Epig: 8.

SInce (No-law's) Father did him Counsaile giue

And said, hee onely by his Booke must liue:

Ha's bought the Law: and vowes his life to mend,

And most on's time will in his Studdy spend.

And (doubtlesse) so he meanes, for wot ye why?

Has chang'd his Bed, and doth in's Studdy lye:

How like ye (No-law) now? Is hee not wise?

Thus he is certaine by the Law to Rise.

Of Lucus and his long Haire. Epig: 9.

LVcus) long locks down to his shoulders weares:

And why? He dares not cut them for his Eares.

[Page]

Francisco's Trauels. Epig: 10.

TEn monthes (I take it) are not fully gone,

Since bolde (Francisco) crost the Seas alone.

VVho late returned (one would thinke it much)

A compleat Linguist: skilfull in the Dutch.

And more (if you knew all) for wot yee what?

In the Low-cuntry's hee the French hath got.

Of Braggado and his Valour. Epig: 11.

GIue one bad word out comes Braggadoes sword,

And sweares (in rage) to sheath it in your guts.

But draw and stifly stand vnto your word,

And gently vp againe his blade he puts.

Craues your acquaintance: vowes he loues all such

As on their Reputation stand so much.

[Page]But bee he One that can his wroth containe,

He Scornes to strike him! Hee'l not strike againe.

When will Braggado then his manhood proue?

When he [...] meets one he doth not scorne, or Loue.

Of Duke and his Imprisonment. Epig. 12.

DVke) lyes for Debt, yet nothing owes he'l sweare.

Beleeu't, 'tis false, as sure as hee Lyes there.

Againe: Of Duke and the Debt. Epig. 13.

DVke's not in debt: yee doe him wrong to say it:

The Debt is — God knowes whose. His that wil pay it.

[Page]

(Guido's) Bounty. Epig. 14.

GIft-gobling Guido alwayes, as he takes,

Vnto his Friend this hopefull answere makes.

I thanke you kindely: You haue beene at cost:

But (if I liue) you shall not finde it lost.

Then can I euer hope to liue and finde

Close-fisted Guido in the Giuing minde?

Nor can I thinke guifts lost, though Guido dye?

For who can loose that he doth Giue away?

Of Lawyers. Epig. 15.

SOme, Lawyers praise: & some their sect defame:

The first I cann't: the last I will not blame.

Nor yet esteeme Those lesse Praise-worthy, when

All loue not Vertue: No not most of men.

[Page]VVhome All men Praise I praise him not at all,

But rather him a Temporizer call.

When Two contend for, what but One must haue,

Who can doe Right and eithers fauours saue?

When one mans Losse anothers Game doth make,

And Loosers must, and will haue leaue to speake:

Then (Gentle Lawyers,) thinke it more then well,

If the halfe part of men your Praises tell.

To his Fellow Students. Epig. 16.

TO Rise by Law, a Life wee couet all:

Why? 'Tis Death to vs, by the Law to Fall.

Of Him selfe. Epig. 17.

A Friend of mine, (and yet no friend to mee,)

Comes oft and craues my Epigram's to see.

[Page]He waighes each word, & highly doth cōmend 'em

And much intreats me to the Presse to send 'em.

Thus (Foole!) my Labour's I let him pertake,

That Labour's mee a Foole imprint to make.

Of Phantasmo a Mistris Boaster. Epig. 18.

FYe! fie (Phantasmo!) cease to raise

Such Trophaeis in thy Mistris Praise.

Shee's Faire! what then? The house most white

Seeme Venus Birds most to inuite.

And Trees that fairest Fruite doe beare

VVith Stones assaulted oftnest are.

Shee's Pretty [...] Witty! cruell Wit,

If not Wisdome, Ioyn'd with it!

Shee's Kinde! 'Tis true! what better knowne?

VVhat worse? when Kinde to more then one.

[Page]Wrong not then my Purest Faire,

With this meane this skin compare.

Rather by thy Sonnets, seeke,

To make her Praises Venus like.

How ere she Propper: Faire her Feature:

Beleeu't shee's but a Common creature.

In Sextum. Epig. 19.

SExtus) 6. Pockets weares: 2. for his Vses:

The other 4. to Pocket vp Abuses.

Epig. 20.

KIt) I commend thy care of all I know,

That p [...]un'dst thy Cushion for a Pipe of To —

Now thou art like (though not to studdy more!)

Yet ten-times Harder then thou didst before.

[Page]

Cynna's Theft. Epig. 21.

STolne Fruite is sweete: So cannot Cynna say,

That Stole a Wench, and had her tooke away.

Of Luce and her 4. Husbands, 3. of them thus Named, Small, Forman, Middleton. Epig. 22.

LVce) late is left a Wealthy widdow:

(How can it other bee then so?)

Foure Husbands she hath buryed,

Yet would not stick againe to wed,

Which on her Hand she thus doth cast:

Small, Forman, Middleton: And my Last.

(Counting for euery finger One)

Which all (God wot) are dead and gone,

Then (Luce) beware a Fift to take,

Least so a Hand of all you make.

[Page]

More-dew's Payment. Epig. 23.

MOre-dew) the Mercer (with a kinde salute)

Would needs intreat my Custome for a Sute.

He're Sir (quoth hee) for Sattins, Veluets, call:

VVhat ere you please, Ile take your word for all.

I thank't! Tooke! Gaue my word! (say than?)

Am I at all indebted to this man?

Clyms Account. Epig. 24.

CLym calls his Wife and reckoning all his neighbors

Iust Halfe of them are Cuckolds he auer's.

Nay fie (quoth she!) I would they heard you speake

You of your selfe it seemes no Reckoning make.

[Page]

Of Sim, and his speedy Marriage. Epig. 25.

SIx months (quoth Sim) a Sutor and not sped?

I in a Sennet did both Woe and Bed.

Who greene Fruit Loues must take long paines to shake.

Thinc was some Downe-fall I dare vndertake.

A Manly Woman the best Wife. Epig. 26.

FAire! manly! Wise! Imagine which of these

In Wedlock choise would best my fancy please?

Of all: giue me the Woman halfe a Man:

So I shall (happy) haue but halfe a Woman.

The Womans Answer. Epig. 27.

IF Halfe a woman best your Humour fit:

'Twere best to marry an Hermophrodite.

[Page]

Tom's good Fortune in being Rob'd. Epig. 28.

TOm) tels hee's Rob'd, and counting all his losses,

Concludes: All's gone ye world is full of Crosses.

If all be gone (Tom) take this comfort then,

Th'art certaine neuer to haue Crosse agen.

Of Lawyers and Poets. Epig. 29.

NO mar'le that Lawyers, rich: Poets, poore liue,

One giues to take, the other, takes to Giue.

In Ignotum. Epig. 30.

VVHat bred a Scholler: borne a Gentleman,

Of 5. yeares standing an Oxonian.

[Page]Of person Proper: of a comely Feature:

And shall I basely now turne Seruing-Creature?

( [...]oole!) hug thy fortune S'fut't may be thy making

A Ladyes proffered Seruice not worth taking?

Who her serues (sure) shall be well Borne: (and more)

One knowne sufficient for the Turne before.

The more thy Standing, greater (Foole) thy Grace.

And thou farre fitter to supply the place.

For men in seruing Ladyes much may get,

Then men of Best-parts soonest they'l admit.

In Sprusam. Epig. 31.

WHen men speake Baudy knowest thou what's the matter.

(Sprusa) so often spitteth? (not to flatter!)

The cause (I take't) is this: Her teeth doe water.

[Page]

Of the Riming Sculler. Epig. 32.

HOrace the Poet, in his Booke reherses,

That Water-drinkers neuer make good Verses.

Yet I a Poet know, And (in his Praise!)

Hee's one has liu'd by Water all his day's.

Sues Slip. Epig. 33.

SVe swore she Lou'd mee: and vow'd faithfully

Neuer to match with any but with mee.

Now she hath chang'd her minde: and of All men

Will none of mee. Hath she not match't mee then?

Tell her she Trifles. Aske but to what end

She swore shee Lou'd? She meant but as a Friend.

[Page]Aske why Loue tokens she did priuate send?

Still shee replyes: She meant but as a Friend.

Aske why sh'Inuited mee to walke alone

where she her thoughts more fully did make known

Binding with Oathes, Deliuering Hand on that,

Sealing with Lippes, In Wttnesse I know what:

Casting her selfe downe by mee [...] where I could

And might haue tooke, what Suerty I would.

Still blamelesse, shamelesse, Shee will all defend,

Saying in all: Shee meant but as a Friend.

Then bee Sue such to all her Friends, as mee,

I'ad rather shee my Friend then Wife shu'd bee.

Of Win and her Sutors. Epig: 34.

VVIn is much wooed to, but not wonne of any:

The troth on't is: She doth admit too many.

[Page]

Tym's Studiosity. Epig. 35.

MArke ye how studious (Tym) is turnd of late?

How he breakes Company to meditate?

Does hee but thus continue, certainly,

Hee'l bee (at least) a Sargeant, ere hee dye.

Hee may doe (doubtlesse) much! yet I can tell,

Hee'l not come neere a Sargeant, by his will.

AEnigma.

A Begger once exceeding poore

A penny pray'd mee giue him:

And deeply vow'd n'ere to aske more:

And I, nere more, to giue Him.

Next day he Begg'd againe, I gaue,

Yet Both of vs onr Oathes did saue.

[Page]

Of an Egregious Whoore. Epig. 36.

THy Belly is thy God. I well may say!

All thy care is to serue it Night and Day.

Feare then thy God: least (whil'st thou worship so!)

He Rise, and Hellish torments put the to.

Of Felo and his Poetry. Epig. 37.

FElo) that lately kist the Gaole, hath got

A smacke of Poetry! yea more then that!

Hee will maintaine none can bee truely said

A Poet, that was neere Imprisoned.

: No Bird sings sweeter then the Bird in Cage.

: And Satyrists (like Dogs) ty'd, fiercest rage.

[Page]Thus will fond (Felo) proue by Disputation,

That New-gate is the Muses habitation.

But how so? when some there cannot reherse,

In a month's Learning, for their Liues a Verse.

To his Vnconstant Mistris. Epig. 38.

I Dare not much say when I thee commend,

Least Thou bee changed ere my Praises end.

Woman (quasi) Woe-man. Epig. 39.

HAd I not felt it misery to Woe,

I had beene marryed (certaine) long agoe.

Had I Not marryed, straight (Moroco) sayes,

I had not once felt Woe in all my dayes.

[Page]If after Woman as before comes Woe,

Woe worth the Man with Woman hath to doe.

For Lawyers. Epig. 40.

I Muse that Lawyers feare no more to marry

That from their Wiues must all the Terme-time tarry.

O Sir! If Termely absence breeds the Feare,

How many Frights each Lawyer, in a yeare?

Speudall's Pollicie. Epig. 41.

NOuerint Vniuersi per prae — Thus began

(Notario) read, ere hee'd his Coyne forgoe.

Holde (cryes young Spendall:) S'fut you marre all man!

By any meanes my Father must not know.

For any money I'de not haue it so.

[Page]

Of Liber too wary to Thriue. Epig. 42.

LIber) is late set vp, and wanteth Custome.

Yet great resort hath got: but hee'l not Trust 'em.

Is not his Loue vnto his Friend the greater?

Hee'l want himselfe, ere hee'l see him a Debtor.

In Lesbiam, ingratam. Epig. 43.

WHy I should Loue thee I no Reason see:

Then Out of Reason (Lesbia) I Loue thee.

Sir Hughes mistake. Epig. 44.

IN Marriage, Woman promise makes:

To serue her Husband all her Life.

[Page]Hence comes it that Sir Hugh mistakes:

Tha [...] vses Seruants as his Wi [...]e.

And further yet the sence doth wrest,

Louing Her most that serues him best.

In Pontum. Epig. 45.

POntus comes Posting almost euery day,

And cryes How doe you Sir? Come, what's the play?

Who doubts but much his labour hee hath lost,

I nere coo'd tell, no more then coo'd the Post.

In Milonem. Epig: 46.

MIlo) much blames mee, that in all my Verse,

I nothing in my [...]istris Praise reherse.

Know I haue Volumes, and wou'd (I confesse.)

But can not get consent of Her to Presse.

[Page]

Of Wine. Epig. 47.

PHysitians) Wine at Spring-Time poyson call;

I hold! It neuer hurteth but ith' Fall.

In Presbiterum. Epig. 48.

PResbyter) that of late his Parish crost,

By his loose Liuing, hath his Liuing lost.

And will turne Begger: hoping by his Wittes,

To raise a Benefice from Benefitts

Foole! Studdy better, better meanes to liue.

To Learned B [...]ggers, rate, or ne're men giue.

Where Art and Pouerty together dwell,

'Tis shrowdly to bee fear'd all is not well.

Men doe by Beggiug Liuings get (we see!)

Yet few get Liuings by their Beggery.

[Page]

In Ignotum. Epig. 49.

A Cornish Citizen came to his Wife,

Swore he had beene in danger of his life.

How man (quoth shee!) Faith pointing but at One

Counted the arrant'st Cuckold in the Towne.

Nay Lord (quoth shee!) wha [...] meant you Man to say it?

Fye you forget your Selfe too bad, be quiet.

The Iealous Man.

I Care: I Feare: I Vexe full sore:

To Know of what would Vexe mee more.

The Wittall.

I Know my Fate, and that must beare,

And since I Know I need not Feare.

[Page]

Epig. 50.

HOw can (Sir Amorous) in his sute speede ill,

That hath his Mistris, euery where at Will.

Then worke thy Will of her, for know, of Olde,

Tayle Tenure hath been held the surest holde.

Incerti Authoris Of a Bald-man. Epig. 51.

THy Haires, and sinnes, no man may aequall call,

For as thy Sinnes increase thy Haires doe Fall.

An Answer to the same. Epig. 52.

YEs: If thy Haires fall, as thy Sinnes increaese,

Both will ere long proue aequall, Numberlesse.

[Page]

In Philippum. Epig: 53.

CAll Phillip, Flat-nose, straight [...]ee frets thereat!

And yet this Phillip hath a Nose, that's Flat.

To his Ingenious Friend Will: Goddard of his Booke intituled: Waspes. Epig. 54.

TRue Epigrams most fitly likned are

To Waspes, that in their taile a sting must beare.

Thine being Waspes. I say, (who'st will repine!)

They are not Epigrams are not like Thine.

Amor ex visu. Of a Blind-man, Louing. Epig. 55.

IF Loue comes but by Sight: (as true we finde.)

Then needs must (Caeco) see: for he is Blinde.

[Page]

Maxima amicitia inter aequales. The Younger Brother to the Elder. Epig. 56.

IF Amongst aequals greatest Friendship bee,

Our Loue was Best in our minoritie.

When as this mutuall Lesson wee were taught,

To bee as Equall branches from One graft.

Then did wee Goe and Grow alike, as One,

No Difference had in Education.

So our Affections Sympathiz'd in all,

That no euent could come but mutuall.

So Neare so Deare, we both did Loue and Liue,

That each ones Breath to each might Being giue,

What more? So Life, and Loue, in all did linke vs,

That One that knew vs both, both one wou'd thinke vs [...]

Which in our Father bred this foule mistake,

Who gaue One all, and so did Difference make.

[Page]

Vaitas non est numerus. Epig. 57.

ROme for (Reuersio:) there's but One, Ile sweare

Betwixt him and 5. hundred a Yeare.

O happy, thrice (Reuersio) if that One,

(As none a Number) thou coo'dst number none!

Againe: Vnus Homo nullus homo. Epig. 58.

ONe Man is no man: Proue that if you can,

(Reuersio) you for euer make a Man.

Natura nihil agit frustra. Against Painted Women. Epig. 59.

MOst are of minde that Women are lesse Faire,

And more Deformed: then of Olde they were.

[Page]True! else In vaine woo'd Nature labour take.

To giue them Beauty, that can Beauty make.

To his Hearts conciled Honor.

THen Thee, the Goddesse did Diuinely frame.

For her Art's glory, and these Artists shame.

In Amicam dotem quaerentem. Epig. 60.

(—) Loues me, and woo'd wed, but wot ye what?

Vnlesse I make her Ioynture shee will not.

And whats this Ioynture? A future Estate

: Purchast by Prouidence, possest by Fate.

Whereon to Hopes vnkindnesse, griefe t'inioy,

A Sin, to wish for, in it selfe a toy.

[Page]A meerly neerl' Inuention, onely fit

To part false hearts, and not to Ioyne on it.

Then (—) on Ioynture doe not so much stand,

All faithfull Louers are not borne to Land.

It breeds Distrust: Inferres suspition

Of other dislikes, to dislike ther on.

For was thy Loue, so firme as mine! with me

Thou'dst thinke no other but to liue and dye.

Yet bee't as 'twill! ere Ile my Loue forgoe,

For want of what I need not: this Ile doe,

Take mee! Ile play th' Good-husband, and I will

Both Day and Night bee getting for thee still.

And what I get (and I will get for Life,)

Dying Ile wholly leaue vppon my Wife.

If this contents not! marke then what Ile say,

Dues must not bee demaunded till the Day.

[Page]Let (—) then Iustly Ioyne me to her now,

And then aske Ioynture when it shall grow Due.

Of a Lawyer and a Physitian, which the Better man. Epig. 61.

A Quaint Physitian that had tooke Degree,

Like in his Habite: aequall in his Fee.

Being a man of Vniuersall grace,

Contended with a Lawyer for the place:

Sir (quoth 'Physitian) I am One you know

That before Lords and Ladyes vse to goe.

My Life secure, voide of seditious strife.

Not one dares once molest me, for his Life.

I of [...] am sent for, (Lawyer then bee se'd)

And haue to doe, with Ladyes in their bed.

Lawyer.

Be Patient (D [...]ctor,) And take this from mee,

Tis no [...] your Grace: like Habite: aequall Fee:

[Page]Nor Priuiledges all: (say what you can)

May make you bee, or seeme the better man:

I (as Apollo) am the God, to whome

All Countryes croutching doe for Counsaile come.

Iudge then my state! how Honored I liue:

How Liberall: Counsaile vnto all I Giue:

How Honest, That am sought too: free from Hate

When men will trust mee with [...]heir whole estate.

No [...]ot the statelyest Lady in the Land,

Will sticke [...]o put her Case into my hand:

Goe to our Practise! (for my Countries care)

I most am sturing where Contentions are.

You in Infections, and Diseases [...]aining,

Make out of O [...]hers losse and Hurt, your gaining.

I to suppresse Deceit, Truth's Causes vrge:

You, Humours to exhale, with Glisters purge.

Mistake not Doct [...]r then, and you shall finde,

It is your Office for to come behinde.

[Page]

Of 2. Painters contending for Preeminence in their Art. Epig. 62.

TWo Painters on a time at variance fell,

Which might each other in his Art excell.

One thinking straight to end so vaine a strife,

Pluckes forth the curious Picture of his Wife,

Swearing if ought of his could this surpasse,

Hee, of the Two the better Artist was:

The other more Learned in Philosophie,

Saves All compares must amongst aequalls bee.

Now then (if this must the Contention end)

You of necessity your Wife must lend.

Then let me presently her with me take,

And I her Image shall more Liuely make.

Let no suspition cause you to deny her,

Ile make it speedily: And send it by her.

This done! The Artist cunningly did bid her,

Before him stand, as when her Husband did her.

[Page]Who speedily his Pencill forth did plucke,

And close himselfe vnto his worke betooke.

So Iustly Her hee fitted euery where,

She swore her Husband could not him come neere.

: No better Iudge then, can I haue, nor Will,

: Goe home and tell thy Husband of my Skill.

At whose returne the Good-man (fond to know)

Askt her the Ensigne of his Art to show.

(Quoth she) this time the Ground he onely laide.

It shall in time bee perfected (hee saide)

Oft was he vrgent, (and woo'd Answer none,)

From day to day hee'd aske (What ha's hee done?)

It chanced so that in some 10. Months after.

Shee was deliuered of a goodly Daughter.

So like in all, to th'Mother was this Elfe,

That none could thought bee mother but herselfe.

Which Borne, she tooke, and to her Man did send it

Loe heere my Picture: Trie if you can mend it.

FINIS.

[Page]

To the worthy Author vpon these Epigrams.

LEt me not whilst I praise an Epigram,

Deserue a Satyre: Let not me who am

As nice in praising as dispraisi [...]g still,

Commend your worke as trading Poets will:

For then I might praise Bookes I neuer read,

Bookes sencelesse, at least not Interpreted,

And sweare I know them good. Thus many doe

Commend and yet maintaine, their credits too [...]

Which, my poore Innocence hath much admir'd,

Till I perceiu'd these Poets who are hir'd,

In all respects are Shop-keepers: And they

Grow Bankroupts, if forsworne but once a day:

So these in wit grow beggerly whose sloath

Hath nothing but a Wager, or an Oath

To proue their owne or other mens desert:

[Page]And did not my per-vsall now conuert

My Iudgement to consider what I praise:

I might (as they) approue, and many wayes

Recant hereafter: But I giue them leaue

To Write vpon me, when they shall perceiue

Such scorn'd Inconstancie; and if they please

To doo't in Epigrams, Let them first learne These.

Which if they can learne, they may truely boast,

They haue aduantage gotten with the most.

IO: STEPHENS.

THE Third Booke of Humours: Intituled Notes from BLACK-FRYERS.

[Page]

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Epigram. To his Lou: Chamber-Fellow, and nearest Friend NAT: GVRLIN Of Lincolnes-Inne Gent.

NAT) Counsaile me I (faith!) what wod'st haue me doe?

My priuate Notes produce in publique view?

Tush! mooue me not: yet (doubtles) tis rare stuffe

And may Take, why not? if so! Good inough.

How ere (Nat) Patronize it, thou canst tell,

(If ought mislike:) I meant, and wish all well.

Then, Good: or Bad: heer (Sirs!) on liking take it:

If Good, 'tis I: If Bad: 'tis you that make it.

[Page]

Notes from Black-Fryers.

WHat (friend Philemo) let me thy corpes Imbrace

So jumpe met in this vnfrequented place?

Then, faith! 'lets Frolique't: pre'thee whats ye Play

(The first I visited this twelue monthes day.)

(They say) A new Inuented Toy of Purle

That ieoparded his Necke, to steale a Girle

Of 12: And (lying fast impounded for't)

Hath hither sent his Beard, to Act his part.

Against all those in open Malice bent,

That would not freely to the Theft consent.

Faines all to's wish, and in the Epilogue,

Goes out applauded for a famous —)

[Page]Now hang me if I did not looke at first,

For some such stuffe by the fond peoples thrust.

Then stay! Ile see't, and sit it out (what ere)

Had I at comming forth tooke a G [...]ister:

Had Fate fore-read me in a Croude to dye:

To bee made Adder-deafe with P [...]ppin-crye.

Come [...] let's bethink our selue [...] what may be found:

To deceiue Time with, till the second sound:

Out with these matches fore-runners of Smoake,

This Indian pastime I could neuer brooke.

SEe (Captaine Martio) he ith' Renounce me Band,

That in the middle Region doth stand

Woth' reputation steele! Faith! lets remoue.

Into his Ranke, (if such discourse you Loue)

Hee'l tell of Basilisks, Trenches, Retires [...]

Of Pallizadoes, Parepets, Frontires:

[Page]Of Caluerins, and Baricadoes too:

What to bee Harquebazerd: to lye in Perdue:

How many men a Souldier ought to slay

For a Lieutenant-ship: or Twelue month Pay.

Hee'l read a Lecture (by his skill exceeding)

Of Reputation: when it lyes a Bleeding:

When Titcht: when Ingaged: when quite Dead:

: How none may euer Fight once Baffled.

What satisfaction for the Lye: and when

Quarrels are mortall: when Seconds may come in.

Then of the Nether-lands! what Passes there:

What stout Performances: wherein hee'l sweare

As many weekely fall but for the Lye,

As did in hottest time of Sicknesse dye.

Last for his Manhood: how in furie (crost)

For a false reckoning once he slew his Host.

And late in England, (since his comming o're)

Into the Channell flung an Oyster-whore.

[Page]For taking th'wall of him: seeme but to doubt

(The least) of these: straight he will plucke ye out

Handfuls of Reputation: gain'd of those

That dared not his Valour counterpose.

But wronging him: and call'd to account for't

In Satisfaction from their Hands woo'd part.

Which he puts vp, and gloriously puts forth

In Ordinaries to proclaime his worth,

Thinking to get (what common sence denyes)

Credit: by Pocketting vp Iniuryes.

Then Learne of him, he'l teach you how yee might

Be counted Valiant, and neuer Fight.

LOok next to him too, One we both know well,

(Sir Iland Hunt) a Trauailer that will tell

Of stranger Things then Tatterd Tom ere li't of,

Then Pliny, or Heroditus e're writ of:

How he a remnant lately brought with him

[Page]Of Iacobs Ladder from Ierusalem:

At the Barmodies how the Fishes fly.

Of Lands inriched by a Lottery.

Of Affricke, AEgypt: with strange Monsters fild,

Such as nere Noahs Arke: nere Eden held.

And rarer Rarities, then all of these:

Iust now to bee discouered (if yee please!)

Such as woo'd make a Blind-man fond to see;

Conuicted Gallants loose their hopes and flie,

Most younger Brothers sell their Lands to buy,

Guyanian Plumes: like Icarus to fly.

BVt stay! see heere (but newly Entred,)

A Cheapside Dame, by th'Tittle on her head!

Plot (Villain!) plot! Let's lay our heads together!

We may deuise perchance to get her hither.

(If wee to-gether cunniningly compact)

Shee'l holde vs dooing till the Latter Act.

[Page]And (on my life) Inuite vs Supper home,

Wee'l thrust hard for it, but wee'l finde her rome,

Heer Mis — (pox ont! she's past, she'l not come ore,

Sure shee's bespoken for a box before.

KNowest thou yo [...] world of fashions now comes in

In Turkie colours carued to the skin.

Mounted Pelonianly vntill hee reeles,

That scornes (so much) plaine dealing at his heeles.

His Boote speakes Spanish to his Scottish Spurres,

His Sute cut Frenchly, round bestucke with Burres.

Pure Holland is his Shirt, which proudly faire,

Seemes to out-face his Doublet euery where,

His Haire like to your Moor's or Irish Lockes,

His chiefest Dyet, Indian minced Dockes.

What Countrey may-game might wee this suppose,

Sure one woo'd thinke a Roman by his Nose.

[Page]No! In his Habite better vnderstand,

Hee is of England by his Yellow Band.

NOw Mars defend vs! seest thou who comes yonder?

Monstrous! A Woman of the masculine Gender.

Looke! thou mayst well descry her by her groath,

Out, point not man! Least wee be beaten both.

Eye her a little, marke but where shee'l goe,

Now (by this hand) into the Gallants Roe.

Let her alone! What ere she giues to stand,

Shee'l make her selfe a gayner, By the Hand.

WHat think'st thou of yon plumed Dandebrat,

Yon Ladyes Shittle-cocke, Egyptian Rat:

Yon Musk-ball, Milke-sop: yon French Sincopace:

That Vshers in, with a Coranto grace.

[Page]Yon Gilded March-pane: yon All Verdingall,

This is the Puppet, which the Ladyes all

Send for of purpose and solicite so

To daunce with them. Pray (Sir) a step or two.

A Galliard or a I [...]gg: Pox ont! cryes hee,

That ere I knew this Toyling fa [...]ulty.

Yet marke! No sooner shall the Cornets blow,

But ye shall haue him skipping too and fro.

A Stoole and Cushion! Enter Tissue slop!

Vengeance! I know him well, did he not drop

Out of the Tyring-house? Then how (the duse)

Comes the mishapen Prodig [...]ll so spruse,

His year's Reuenewes (I dare stand vnto't,)

Is not of worth to purchase such a Sute.

Tush! is it now to question Gallantry,

When No-land for a rich Gra [...]uity,

[Page]May Seale as deepe as can Auaro's Heire,

That may d [...]spend fiue hundred a yeare?

When Tradesmen take by whole sale all they can,

Venting it out, on day, to any Man.

And then thems [...]lu [...]s for Twelu-pence in y• pound,

Will in the payment of the Debt be bound

And escape free by Breaking. This an age

To feare preferment? When a Rascall Page

An Ab [...]ect ou [...]side shall presume to Woe

Rich bruted (Cashia:) and hope better too,

Then hee that of the Of-scums of his Braine,

Can a man better then the (Vice) maintaine.

(Tut! 'tis the Mothers plot! Now she shall see

The Court sometimes! Oh Carnall Pollicy!)

Then who in Studdy woo'd spend Time in vaine?

Omit youth's pleasures for a fruitlesse paine?

Or for an Ay [...]ie puffe of Enuy'd Praise,

Liue bound to th'Good-behauiour all his dayes.

[Page]Hang't! Let's be Iouiall! Braue it whilst we can!

Whats Coyne ordain'd for, but the vse of Man?

To Borrow is a Vertue, when to Lend,

Is to beget an euerlasting freind:

And may a man haue more said in his grace,

Then to bee Credited in euery place?

Hee's not a Gentleman I dare maintaine,

Whose Word runnes not as Current as his Coyne.

A Pipe heere (Sirra) no Sophistocate.

(Villain) the best: what ere you prize it at.

Tell yonder Lady, with the Yellow fan,

I shall be proude to Vsher her anon:

My Coach stands ready. Lord how me thinkes I long!

To carue the inside of a dry'd Neats-tong.

England cannot afford a kinder relish,

For Backragg, Deale, or your more pleasing Renish

When shall we make a pleasant cut to Douer,

In a mad merry Humor? And send ouer?

[Page]A Laugh shall rouz the Hage: shake Lesbon walls:

And raise in Armes the fearfull Portugalls.

Say Gallants (faith) shall's neuer see the day,

When wee shall Fish-street once againe suruey.

A butterd Crab or Lobsters leg to get,

O Venus! How a Life I sauour it?

Who woo'd not all his Land spend had hee more,

Then in a day a Kite could hoouer ore.

T'inioy the pleasant Harmony that wee

Finde in this Microcosme, Man's societie.

When all is gone, tis weaknesse to dispaire,

Are there not wealthy Widdowes eu'ry where.

Ambitious Sick, woo'd part from all their Good,

To crowne their latter dayes with a French-hoed?

Are there not Pates, in strange discoueries teaching

where mountains are of Gold ?s'fut, tis but fetching!

Twenty such Fetches hath the (Sharke) to moue

Gallants of the first Head, but to approue

[Page]His swaggering Humor, vowes that all he spends,

He getteth brauely by his Fingers ends.

There's not a Cheap side Mercer (if he looke)

That will not sweare to't deeply on his booke.

No noted No [...]ary in Cornwell row,

But is subscribed Witnesse there too.

Silkmen, Haberdashers, Tradesmen all:

Inamor'd on him, for his Custome call,

And he takes all of them [...] But woe to him

If he bee taken but by one of Them.

: W' Ant it for Women woe shu'd all be men.

I cannot present better instance, then

In yon Spruse Coxcombe, yon Affecting Asse,

That neuer walkes without his Looking-glasse,

In a Tobacco box, or Diall set,

That he may priuately conferre with it.

[Page]How his Band jumpeth with his Peccadilly,

Whether his Band [...]strings ballance equally:

Which way his Feather wagg's: And (to say truth)

What wordes in vtterance best become his mouth.

Oh! Hadst thou yesterday beheld the Valour

I saw him exercising on his Taylour.

How, out of measure, hee the Ruscall beat,

Not fitting to his minde his Doublet.

Lord! how I laught to see the witlesse Noddy,

Du [...]st not reply, he meant it to his Body.

See Villain, Rogue! (And in he shrinks his brest)

Oh Heauens! Too wide a handfull at the least,

Straight it is Cut! And then proues (being try'd)

As much too little on the other side.

But what skil't [...] Hee'l haue an attractiue Lace,

And Whalebone-bodyes, for the better grace.

Admit spare dyet, on no sustnance feed,

But Oatmeale, Milke, and crums of Barly-bread.

[Page]Vse Exercise vntill at last hee fit:

(With much adoe) his Body vnto it.

Hee'l not approach a Tauerne, no nor drinke ye

To saue his life Hot-water, (wherefore thinke ye,)

For heating's Liuer Which some may suppose

Scalding hote, by the Bubbles on his Nose.

Hee'l put vp any publique foule disgrace.

Rather then hazzard cutting of his Face.

If in his Element you'd haue the (Foole!)

Aske him when he came from the Dauncing-schoole

Whereas much Leather he doth dayly waste

In the French Cringe, which Ieremy brought last.

And more, then Coriat (I dare maintaine)

In going to the Alpes and backe againe.

Whereof, that all the world may notice take,

See! euery step an Honor hee doth make

That Ladyes, may denote him with their Fan,

As he goes by, with a Lo: Hee's the man.

[Page]

IS't not a thing to bee admired at

That any man should Sing himselfe in debt.

Then who'd not giue as willingly a groate,

To heare (Fantasticks) admirable note?

: As see a Mandrake, or a Sea-monster:

: Edwards blade: with the Tombes at Westminster.

The Eagle at the Tower: St. Iames's Rarityes:

The Estrich, or Beauer, that woo'd worrey Trees?

(Amorous Fantasticke) that did neuer ayme at

A smaller Rise, then Ela in the Gamat.

That ne're conuersed but with men of Note,

Your Crotchet Pate, and your Organick Throat.

Neuer Ambitious more then to be able,

But to attaine vnto a Chamber Treble.

Wondrous proficient! See how the Gentlewomen

Throng to his Chamber doore, but dare not come in,

Why? least he rauish them! Tush! Laugh ye not,

H'as done (I wosse) as great exploites as that.

[Page](Or else he cracks) the sweetnesse of his voyce

Ore-heard of Ladyes, hath procur'd him choyse

Of Matches: Noble, Rich: but hee'l not meddle,

And why (I pray?) for cracking of his Treble.

No [...] bee'l with better industry make tryall,

If [...]ee can Match his Treble to the V [...]oll.

Gainst when, hee hath proclaim'd throughout the Citty,

To A [...]l your Witts, an Angell for a Ditty:

Faith! was he heere wee'd bargain for a Rime,

And heere he comes. So truely he keepes Time.

BVt h'st! with him Crabbed (Websterio)

The Play wright, Cart-wright: whether? either! ho —

No further. Looke as yee'd bee look't into:

Sit as ye woo'd be Read: Lord! who woo'd know him?

Was euer man so mangl'd with a Poem?

See how he drawes his mouth aw [...]y of late,

[Page]How he scrubs: wrings his wrests: scratches his Pa [...]e.

A Midwife! helpe? By his Braines coitus,

Some Centaure strange: some huge Bucephalus,

Or Pallas (sure) ingendred in his Braine,

Strike Vulcan with thy hammer once againe.

This is the Crittick that (of all the rest)

I'de not haue view mee, yet I feare him least,

Heer's not a word cursi [...]ely I haue W [...]i [...],

But hee'l Industriously examine it.

And in some 12. monthes hence (or there about)

Set in a shamefull sheete, my errors out.

But what care I it will be so obscure,

That none shall vnderstand him (I am sure.)

Others may chance (that know me not a right,)

Report (iniuriously) all my delight,

And strength of studdy I doe wholly bend

[Page]To this Losse-labour and no other end.

To these I wish my scandald Muse reply

In as plaine tearmes as may bee 'Tis a lye.

Heer's but Pate-pastime: Play-house Obseruation,

Fruits of the vacants howers of a Vacation.

Then (say all what they can) I am sure of this,

That for Play-time it is not spent amisse,

Semel insaniuimus omnes.

Once wee haue all

Beene Iouiall.

FINIS

[Page]

To his worthy Friend, H.F. vpon his Notes from BLACK-FRYERS.

HAd the Black-Fryers beene still vn-suppressd,

I cannot thinke their Cloysters had bin blessd

With better contemplations: Seeing now

Lesse may be gleand from Puritanes then you

Haue gathered from the Play-house. And I must

(Though't bee a Players vice to be vniust,

To Verse not yeelding coyne) let Players know

They cannot recompence your labour: Though

They grace you with a Chayre vpon the Stage,

And take no money of you nor your Page.

For now the Humours which oppresse Playes most,

Shall (if the owners can feele shame) be lost:

And when they so conuerted doe allow,

What they dislik'd once, Players must thanke you,

[Page]And Poets too: for both of them will saue

Much in true Verse, which hisses might depraue:

Since you haue so refin'd their Audience,

That now good Playes will neuer neede defence.

IO: STEPHENS.

[Page]

Epilogue. The Author for Himselfe.

I Am no Poet! (yet I doe not know

Why I should not: or why I should be so,)

I can (I must confesse) a Metre s [...]an:

And Iudge of Verses as an other man.

I haue been Trayn'd vp'mongst the Muses: (more!)

The sacred Name of Phaebus I adore.

[Page]Yet I no Poet am! (I'de haue ye know)

I am no Poet (as the world goes now.)

: My Muse cannot a Note so poorly frame.

: As Inuocate a Penny-Patrons name.

: I cannot speake and vnspeake (as I list:)

: Exchange a sound friend for a broken Iest:

: Conferre with Fountaines: or conuerse with Trees.

: Admit in my discourse Hyperbolyes.

[Page]I cannot highly praise Those highest are

Because they sit in Honours lofty chayre.

Nor make their States in Sonnets happy knowne,

Being (perchance) lesse happy then mine owne.

I cannot sing my Mistris shee is Faire:

Tell her of her Lilly Hand: her golden Haire,

Fetch a Comparison (beyond the Moone,)

To proue her constant in Affection.

[Page]: I dare not Her so much as Louely call:

: Or say I haue a Mistris at all.

: Why? Ere too morrow, she will changed bee [...]

: And leaue me laught at for my Poetry.

Had I of Scoggins Crowes writ: or set out

In Womans Praises what I was about.

I am perswaded (yet I cannot tell)

I had a Poet prou'd against my will.

[Page]Yet (ye vnproued good) blame not because

I yet as (doubtfull on your merits) pause.

I will produce and Patronize it too:

Finde I but one amongst so many true.

But Faine I cannot, heere is not a word,

Which I dare not maintaine true with my sword.

Poets men Lyers call. If so! Then (know it)

Hee is a Poet, doth mee call a Poet.

[Page]

[Page]

Post-script to his Book-binder.

STationer) A Good turne to thee I owe:

Heere! I will pay thee now in Folio.

But stay! Not soe: that I woo'd haue thee pu [...]

Mee in the Folio: or the Quarto cut.

Rather contriue mee to the Smallest size,

Least I bee eaten vnder Pippin-pyes.

Or in th' Apothicaryes shop bee s [...]ene

To wrap Drugg's: or to dry Tobacco in.

First (might I chuse) I would be bound to wipe,

Where he discharged last his Glister-pipe.

[Page]The Character I care not, Great, or Small,

So I bee plainly vnderstood of all.

Onely preserue mee from the sight of Those,

That cannot but must Read me in the Nose.

[...]he [...] [...]are to cast mee: not ith' Learned Ro [...],

[...]eas [...] I the Learned censure vndergoe.

Nor lay me with s [...]ald Poets least I titch,

And so become infected with Their itch.

Let not each Pesant, each Mecannick Asse,

That neer knew further then his Horn-booke crosse.

Each rauin-Rusticke: each illiterate Gull:

Buy of my Poesie, by pocket full.

Bookes like made-Dishes may for Daintyes goe,

Yet will not euery pallate taste 'em so:

[Page]Then were it good, I should inioyne the Sell.

Mee vnto none but those that loue me well.

If any Puff-paste, Bumbaste Iobernole,

Wrapt in the Hangings of a Brokers-stall.

A halfe-Nose: or a Carbonado'd face:

Of a suspitious subtill Serpents pace.

Trust to a Basket-hilt: chances to drop,

But for a Resting-roome into thy shop.

And catches in his fatall hand my Rime.

To lurke in it, vntill hee see his Time.

Thrust him out head-long, for (beleiue him not)

Now (by the Mace) it is a Counter plot.

If thou behold a Courtcast Satten-show,

Fallen from the Fashion a Degree or two.

[Page] One as goes purueying vp and downe for Tales,

[...]o Iest his hungry stomacke into meales.

[...]hat with a merry pocket-Pamphlet will,

[...]or a weeke after Laugh his Belly full.

[...]end him to Sojourne with Duke Humfrey,

[...]et him starue ere hee get a bitt of mee.

[...]east lying (Read) neglected in his Slop,

[...]bee conueyed vnto the Brokers-shop.

Or by his theeuish Page discouered:

Quickly conuerted into Ginger-bread.

If any Younger Brother, that noe more

[...]ath then a Daggle-tayl'd Sheep-skin kept in store:

[...]hose Annuall fleece will but bare meanes afford,

[...]nd with the Echer of his Brothers bord.

[Page]That sits a Ledger at his Fathers Table:

My Booke woo'd fondly purchase: (hardly able,)

To win, the presence by the Fiers side,

Of Mrs. Sis, or Sue the Dary-maide.

Or cho [...]ke the Rusticke Leather-lobs with laughter

Bid him goe studdy how to liue hereafter:

Read where more sollid substance hee may get

To Liue vpon, or learne to goe in Debt.

Ye, ye, Braue Gallants: Patrons of liuely mirth:

Ye, the young hopefull Land-Lords of the Earth:

The youth of youth! That read most liberally,

More out of Pastime then necessity.

Yee worthy Worthyes! None else (might I chuse)

Doe I desire my Poesie peruse.

[Page] [...]or to saue charges: ere the Playes begin:

Or when the Lord of Libertie comes in.

And if a Booke must needs a Patron haue,

Yours is the onely Patronage I craue.

Orhers I wish the Stationer fore-warne,

With a Hand's off: It is not for your turne.

FINIS.

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Information about this book

Title statement

Certain elegies, done by sundrie excellent wits With satyres and epigrames.Satyres: and satyricall epigrams

Fitzgeffrey, Henry.

Edition statement

1618

Publication

Publisher

Text Creation Partnership,

Place of publication

Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) :

Date

2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1).

ID [DLPS]

A00825

ID [STC]

STC 10945.3

ID [STC]

ESTC S116819

ID [EEBO-CITATION]

99852035

ID [PROQUEST]

99852035

ID [VID]

17335

Availability

This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal. The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.

Series

Early English books online.

Notes

(EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A00825)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 17335)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1378:01)

Source

— Certain elegies, done by sundrie excellent wits With satyres and epigrames., Satyres: and satyricall epigrams, Fitzgeffrey, Henry., Beaumont, Francis, 1584-1616., Drayton, Michael, 1563-1631., Hookes, Nathaniel, fl. 1618, attributed name..

Extent

[124] p.

Printed by B: A[lsop]: for Miles Partriche, and are to be solde at his shoppe neare Saint Dunstons Church in Fleet-streete,. London :: 1618.. (Printer's name from STC.) (Another issue, with title page cancelled and replaced with quire piA, of: Satyres: and satyricall epigrams.) (In three books, each with separate title page; register continuous.) (The new quire contains elegies signed by: Fr. Beau[mont], M. Dr[ayton], and N. H[ookes?].) (Signatures: piA A(-A1,2) B-G.) (This copy does not retain the errata leaf, G7; final leaf, G8, is blank?.) (Formerly STC 7567.) (Identified as STC 7567 on UMI microfilm.) (Reproduction of the original in the British Library.)

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