IN the moneth of March, a time as fit for wooing as May is plea­sant to sporte in, Honestie trauel­ling as his custome is, to search such corners as good fellowship h [...]unteth, it was my hap, cōming into Hogsden, to light vpon a house, wherein were met such a troupe of louers, as had not the hall béen wondrous bigge, a multitude should haue béen forced to stand without dores. Yet though the roume was so spatious, as an armie might haue lodged therein with­out pesterment, notwithstanding it was so well filled at this instant, as all the place Honestie could get amongst them, was to sit on the rafters on the top of the house, which fitted best my humour, that desires rather to sée then to be séene. There seated in my Maiestie (as ready to heare newes, as the pick thanke is forward to tell newes) I might easely perceaue my louers mated, as if they ment to make Marche birds, euery man hauing his swéete hart, and euery couple their corner. There were of all sortes, and in many manners sorted, some batchelers sewed to widdowes, others to maides, widdowers likewise wooed some maides, and othersome widdowes, there was age and youth coupled together, equalitie of yeares courting each other, and diuersity of dispositions, arguing to make a sym­pathie.

Amongst them, I lent my eares first to a couple that had chosen forth the most secret corner in the house, which were not worst fitted for yeares; for it was a youth of thrée and twentie, that had matched himselfe with a maide of eightéene: hée holding her vpon his knée, with his right hand clasping hers, & his left about her mid­dle, made many proffers to win her fauour, and breathed many sighes to shew his loue, he vowed constancie with protestations, and confirmed with othes the pleadge of his loyaltie; he shewed her how long he had loued her befor [...] he durst tel her of his affection, how many iournies he had made with losse of labour, and how many complaintes to the God of Loue not finding any remedie. Hée made her priuie to the many houres he had at sundrie times spent in watching to haue a sight of her, shewing vnto her how ioyfull he were, had he, perchance, but seene any creature belonging to her fathers house, yea were it but the little dog that turned the spit. Many times (quoth he) haue I lookt vp to the windowe, imagining I haue séene thy picture engrauen in the glasse, when with long gasing to viewe the true portrature thereof, I haue at last recal­led my selfe, by letting my soule sée how mine eyes were deceiued, in expecting that true forme from the glasse, which was onely pictured in my heart. Then would I sorrowe to my selfe, and power forth such passions into the ayre, as my heart, bring ouer loaded with the extremi­tie they would force, would constraine me to sit downe, ending my spéeche with such sighes, as my breathed sor­rowe would no lesse darken the ayre, then a mistie fogge doth obscure the skie. But at last, comming to my selfe, I would returne home, locking vp my selfe within my lod­ging, a close prisoner by the commandemēt of loue; where to passe away the time, I would write passionate lines, a­morous ditties, pleasing fancies, pleasant rounddelaies, and dolefull drerelayes. Now would I thinke to winne thée by letters, anon I thought it better to pen spéeches, but suddainely, both misliking mée, I would throwe [Page] my selfe vppon the bed, so long thinking which way to obtaine thée, as in the end I should fall into a slumber. Yet amidst my rest, my thoughtes concerning thée were restles: For then should I dreame sometimes thou spa­kest me faire, repaying my kindenes with swéete kisses, granting my requests and forward to doe my will: but a­waking from forth that soueraigne elusion, looking to finde thée, I should féele the bed-poastes, that hard hap, turning my glad heart to a new bread sorrow, which was the more painefull, by how much my dreame was plea­sing: at another time, I should thinke, that suing to thée for sauour, thou wouldest bestowe frownes, & profering my seruice, thou wouldst offer skornes. If I sighed, thou wouldst smile, laughing at my teares, and ioying at my griefe, requiting euery kinde demande with so cruell an­swers, as if thy bitter words could not force me to leaue my suite, thy skornefull farewels should frustrate my wil: offering to touch thine hand, mée thought thou profereds thy foote, and stouping to catch that, being glad of any thing, thou wouldst in a rage fling from me, and leaue the doore barred against me. There should I sit till my téeth chattered in my head, and my heart aked in my bellie: then should I shake for colde, and sigh for sorrowe, when thinking to knock my legges against the ground to get heate, I should kick al the cloathes off me, being in the end constrained to awake through colde. At what time that colde fare would better content me, then the former flat­tering cheare did please me, being as glad it was false, as I would haue béen glad if the other had béen true. Many like to these did I endure before my acquaintance with thée, not knowing any meanes how to obtaine the same of thée, vntill happely finding thee in a sommers euening at the dore, I presumed to enter parlie with thée, offering my selfe your seruant, which had béen a tweluemoneth your sworne subiect, doubting of your patiēce, though you séeme to be a patterne of pittie. How and after what order I haue since that time besought your sauour, your selfe shall [Page] be my iudge, for I list not to rehearse my dayly shiftes, to shewe my zeale, my manyfolde conclusions to obtaine your companie, my giftes to wooe the seruants, and my presents to gaine your good will. But to be briefe, there­by to come to that I like best, one whole yeare I loued thée before thou knewest me, & thrée more are passed since first I spake to thée: yet then was I as neare as now I am, and now as farre off as I was then. Say therefore swéete, since to stay longer yéelds but little comfort, shall my suite now end with the verdit, You loue me?

To which long preamble, shut vp with so whot a con­clusion, she no lesse prepared herselfe to answere him, then Frier Tuck vsed ceremonies before he song mattens. She cast her eyes vp to Heauen, as if she had béen making her praiers to loue, sighing so bitterly, as I thought hir plac­ket lace would haue brokē, then to the matter thus she an­swered. Alas gentle sir, I must confesse I haue found you kinde, and you haue béen at a great deale more cost then I could wish you had, your suite hath béen long, and my kindenes not much, nor doe I hope you e [...]pect more at my hands then you haue had, before my friends haue gran­ted their good will. Maidens are modest, and must not bée prodigall of their courtesie: children are bound and can­not consent without their parents counsell: pardon mée therefore I pray you, if I say I loue you not, since my fa­ther knowes you not, and thinke not much if I desire you to leaue to loue mée, vntill my mother giue me leaue to like of you. At which time assure your selfe I will bee as ready to performe your will, as they shall be forward to wish me that good, and thus in the meane time, I hope you will rest satisfied. This was a shroade bone for my pas­sionate youth to gnawe on, that being so strucken on the head as his heart aked therewith, thought to ease his sor­rowe with this replie. Ah my swéetest swéete (quoth hée) Thinke not on thy fathers counsel, séeing a greater friend craueth his deserte, nor let me rest their leasure with­out pitie, that hath thus long remained constant vnto [Page] thée. I loue thée nor for thy fréendes sake, though I loue them for thy sake: nor doe thou lothe me for their pleasure that liues but at thy pleasure. But swéete and soueraigne of my hart, as thy thoughts be not tied to their wils, so let not thy loue be linked so fast to their liking, as their mis­like should end my life by remouing thy loue. Say my god­desse, and therewithall as he was procéeding, she cut off the rest with this short answere. I beséech you sir to leaue off your courting, vnlesse you entend some other conclusi­on then as yet I can gather: for of my faith loue you I wil not, nor consent I dare not without my fréends giue their consents first, and thereupon she thrusted through the throng and poasted out of doores, leauing my passionate louer to say his pater noster alone, where we will leaue them.

What I thought I will tell you, and I hope you will not doubt of the matter, for that Honestie speakes it. One yéeres loue without acquaintance, and thrée yéeres suite to be neuer the néerer: either he was a bad lawyer, or she a monstrous vniust iudge: but be it, both a passionate Asse, and a péeuish wench were well met. But marke his folly and her cunning, he building Castles in the aire and set­ting trappes in the Sunne to catch the shadowe of a coye queane, was pleased by her, with wagging his bawble, and ringing his bell, while she pickt his pocket and cut his pursse. A proper péece of seruice of a passionate Souldier, and a prettie sleight of a flattering Slut: I would we had more of them, nay why wish I that, since the worlde is too full of such alreadie? Yet of my honesty, she was as fitte a match for such a foole, as might be found in the worlde. A great deale of fond fancie repaied with a sharpe shorte deniall, and thrée yéeres affection rewarded with an ounce of flatterie, mingled with a pound of discurtesie? a good cor­diall to comfort so kinde a hart. Oh the subtilty of the di­uell, that vnder the shadow of obedience, couers y^• craft of cosonage. It is hotte loue that buildes on fréendes liking, and pestilent affection that relies rather on the mothers [Page] loue, then on the Louers loyaltie. Such as stands so curi­ously on their Parents good will, hauing dealt so craftily without their consent, are worthie by Honesties doome to stand in a Cage, vntill either their fréends good will be got, or her swéet harts licence obtained for her deliuerie. And this is too good, for that the kinde Asse wil too too soone release her: I thinke this punishment would be worse welcome vnto her, namely, that she be bound from mari­age, so long as she hath kept him without his answere, which will so pinche her prodigall desire, as either she will forsweare honestie, or neuer commit the like knauerie. Oh there is a companie of minions which delight to haue ma­ny sutors, that they may bragge amongst their mates of their diuersitie of louers: they thinke it commendable to haue store of customers. But knewe they so much as I know, they were better to goe once in a fortnight to Greenes Cunnyberries, then to haue such resorte to haunt their companies.

Honestie honours the consent of Parents, but abhorres such loue as is built on their liking, if there be no remedie but that either they shall like, or thou wilt not loue, let him haue thy Fathers good will before he obtaines thy countenance: for doubtles she that will entertaine lo­uers, and repay their courting with kindenes, will care as little for her fréends counsell, hapning on a mate she can fancie, as the horse wil for haye, that hath his manger full of prouender. And what is the cause why so many stande so curiously on their fréends consent? nought for­sooth, but the presumption of a double baite, that being sure of their countenance, they may be assured of an other din­ner if their owne likes them not; or otherwise to haue a hole to hide a For in, for that her owne denne is not secret enough. If her Husband controlle her for any misdemea­nour, or reproue her of any dishonest behauiour, then on goes her pantoples, building the reckoning of her honesty on her fathers countenance, so far presuming of his boun­den duetie for the match making, as if he kept the keye of [Page] her huswiferie. Her long toung vtters large spéeches, standing at defiance vnder the banner of her Fathers de­fence, and his house must be her Castell to kéepe her from her Husband. This is the commoditie a man shall reap by such a match, and this is their meaning that would couer their rebellion with the cloak of obedience. Is not he wel preferred that is so well married, and how can he mend it? Marry no way but this, that he which is mated with the like inconuenience, to learne more wit against the next time, striuing in the meane time to please both her and her fréends, since he had so much reason to woo both her fréends and her to be bound to so bad a bargaine.

It is follie (quoth a wise man) to be sorrowful for things irrecouerable, and Honestie thinkes it madnes to repent for déedes done, whereof her selfe is culpable: can any man be so witles (especially in matter wherein wisedome is so much required) as to doe, and wish vndoone in a moment? yea d [...]ubtles, Honestie knowes such, they being the hotte spurres of our age, that thinke euery day a twelue moneth vntill they be married, and after they are matched, euery houre seauen yéeres, vntill they are parted. It was hotte loue that will be so soone colde, some of you will say, but I say, if it bad béen hot loue (as it was burning lust) it would not haue béen so soone colde. For whereas y^• prouerb goes, that hot loue wil be soone colde, it is ment by such affection as wants matter therby to continue longer. For as that is the purest wood which yéelds the perfectest heat, and y^• pu­rer it is, the sooner it wilbe it own destruction, leauing the sitters by without fire, vnles a fresh supply be as néede re­quires, added; so wil our hotte loue (whose kindled affection is come vnto it perfection, the hart being on such a blaze, as euery part of it is on a light flame) decay (as reason and nature requireth) vnles new faggots of kindenes, adde fresh matter for fiering, the supply thereof remoning all suspition of want of affection. How pure y^• loue is, where there is so light a regarde of proffered kindenes, as my Fathers will or my Mothers leaue must be a Spurre [Page] to my liking, let euery one iudge that knowes loue.

But [...]n my opinion, as I confesse that the duetie we owe to our Parents, may doo muche where the know­ledge thereof bindes to obeye, so must I confirme that loue is a duetie himselfe, b [...]nding to so great obedience and tying with such strong conuaiances, as he remoues all thoughts of lower dueties: I tearming al dueties lower, for that by commaundement those dueties must be reiec­ted in respect of the louing duetie that a Husband shall re­quire. Now how far my nice Mimon was from knowing this duetie, her coye demeanour and cunning behauiour hath manifested. Yet how happie was my youth at l [...]st to be rid of such a monster? And monster may I tearme her in respect of her lewde behauiour; for was it not much better that her inconstancie should haue béene knowen be­fore he was fast linked vnto her, then it should haue béene found when it had béen incurable? Doubtles it was a good cause he had to double his orisons vnto loue, for so louing­ly preseruing him from so pestilent a prittie-bird, I should haue said pricking-burre, or paultry bauble.

BVt to come to my second couple, which were seated op­posite to these in an other corner, being a lustie wid­dower that was courting a gallant wench, both of them being highly beholding to nature for her liberall skill in their making, which were thus placed. She was set down ouerlooked by him standing before her, hauing [...]ne of his hands leaning on her lap, and the other resting on the w [...]l, hauing therby (as I gesse) the more libertie to vse his plea­sure, in bestowing kinde kisses and louing fauours: so he wa [...] seated, and thus he began to sue. Faire Maide (quoth he) I know my experience to be greater then your practise, for that I haue tried, rules me by reason: hauing loued and liued with my loue, vntill by the fates I was bere [...] ­ued of that fruit, so well liked I of my last losse, as my for­mer good hap bréeds an assured hope of the like good for­tune, that being a helpe to further my will, and a meane to make a now choise: which change, what good it shal yéeld, [Page] your selfe shall challenge, whose good reporte hath bound me to commence my deserts, to receiue their censure by your doome. To boast what I am were frinelous, for that your fréends are alreadie priuie to my estate, and to say how well I loue you were booteles, for that women loue to trie ere they trust, yet vnles I should say more then I haue saide, I should séeme to say nothing: though to say more then is spoken already were [...]éerely foolish For thus stands the case, I haue made choise of you for my second wife, and haue already your fréends good will, there restes therefore nothing but a confirmation of your duetie, in a­gréeing to that they haue confirmed: thus conuning to a full point, he closed vp his period with a brace of smirking kisses, which wrought with his Louer, as a strong pyll dooth with a sore sicke patient: namely, they forced her to answere him thus threwdely. The assurance of your good fortune Sir, hath made you highly beholden to her deitie, that dauncing in the morrice of good matches, you should be led by her to so good hap: but belike it was ouer good to continue long, either her kindenes being ouermatched with your vnconstancie, or your good happe ouer ruled by fortunes cruelty: They euer change and lightly neuer but for the worse: which the rather séemes so vnto me, by the sure knowledge I haue of your second choice, that is so far vnequall to your reported first match, as I know your li­king would not remain long, or my misliking would come too too soone; because I am not able to follow what you [...] first wife hath performed, and you will be vnwilling to beare with the wants your second choice must be enriched with. But peraduenture I mistake your meaning, for where as I thinke you sue to haue me to your second wife, you s [...]eke but to haue my good wil to liue with my fréende, [...] good s [...]r my duetie (as you say) must not gainsay their pleasure, nor will I for that matter, but with all my hart if you haue their licence for your boord, haue my good will to obtaine your bed there also, for their house is at their owne commaundement. Then doubt I not (replyed he) to [Page] haue you for my bedfellow. But that doubt I (answered she) for that I know the contrary. Why dare you (quoth he) to disobay your Fathers commaundement? No (sayd she) so it be for my commoditie. It shall be both for your profite and prefe [...]ment. Make me to beléeue that (quoth she) and then peraduenture it may be a bargaine. Why woman (said he) I deserue your better. Take her (answe­red she) and I will not be matched to your inferiour. Why then I sée you do scant loue me? I vse it not (quoth she) and yet I sweare I will mocke you, rather then mar­rie with you. With which being highly displeased, he be­stowed thrée or foure crabbed tearmes, being liueries of his cholerick long toung, and so departed.

A shame goe with him, thought Honestie, whatsoeuer she thought, and with all such Louers; louers? with a hal­ter, lubbers I may better tearme them. What monstrous matches are such as are shuffled vp after the selfe same order? Suppose she had beene fearefull and durst not to haue resisted the receipt of what she lothed, imagine she had béene foolish and could not haue iudged of affection? thinke she had béene forward, and would haue béene glad of any one? alas poore wretch, I pittie the supposition, what should I haue said to the confirmation? I know as­suredly she should haue sighed whatsoeuer I had saide, and mourning should haue béen her companion, what ere had béen my communication; he would haue daunst with her portion, while she had drooped through want of affection; he would haue loathed her company, for that she was not a dayly commoditie; her life should haue béen like the hack­nies that are at euery mans commaundement for the hire, and her ioy as momentary as the florishing gréene grasse in Iuly. Pitifully should she haue liued, punished by him without pitie, and this is my reason of the possibilitie; for that it is most likely he loued her not, & how well any bo­dy vse them they loue not, let them speake that suspect not. Now that he loued her not, may be proued both by his kinde of wrong, careleslye suing vnto her, peremptorily v­surping [Page] her Fathers authoritie, which was a band to lye her to obedience, though a bad meane to obtaine her curte­sie. For affection is not to be limitted, nor loue to be com­pelled, but cōtrarily, hatred followes feare, and feare fore­runnes mislike, and how we loue those we regarde not, iudge they that woo and obtaine not? But this custome is too common and ouer cruell, namely, a wooing of fréends, and a constraint of loue, I would not say, compelling, but for feare it shoul [...] haue been taken for compelling. Were Honestie a Iust [...]e, they should either lye in the stockes a fortnight, or marry her I would match him with, which should séeke a wife after this order. I thinke verily he would rather stay his stint by the héeles, then be bound to the other inconuenience; and yet he could finde in his hart to binde another to y^• bad bargaine. This is charitie, yea & neuer a whit of honestie, being so farre from ciuilitie, as the Millers craft is from true dealing. Now truely tru­ly, to deale as we would be dealt with, is sent to the hedge a begging, and neighbourly loue is made a hacknie, being so worne to the bones with séeking a good Maister, as his skinne will hang on the bush shortely.

I haue heard a reporte of a passing kinde man, that com­plained of his wife at a Sessions, for pissing a pot full, iudging thereby she was dishonest, and that same man shortly after burying his wise, sued to a maide, after the manner aforesaid: he had obtained her fréends good will, and were at a point for the Maidens loue, yet on a time she was troubled with the head-ake, at his being with her, whereof he so misliked, as in the morning he went to the Phisitions to haue their opinions to what disease it coulde turne, and vpon their reporte left her. I am assured I haue erred in no point, vnlesse I haue mistooke the last, putting the Phisitions opinion in the roome of his owne bad mea­ning; it was no disease indéede that misliked or misled him, but it was of the Fathers pursse, not of the Daughters head: well she was well prouided for in missing of him, and if he sped any thing the better, let him boast of it, but [Page] Honestie can iudge no better of the remnant of his compa­nions, then his action giues the verdict of him, which is as bad as may be.

But to another that hapned on one that had the too thanke, with whom he would not matry for feare the hollownesse of her tooth should corrupt her bre [...]th, and so annoye his colde stomack. It was colde indéede, and I would such stomacks might be heated with redde hotte gold, as chéer­full as scalding leade. Well to a third, he liked her parents wel, for that they were honest & godly, and as well of the maiden, because she séemed modest: to be bréef, he could find no saulte in either of them, onely his feare was that the Daughter would be somewhat shrewish, for that she had a long nose, and thereupon gaue her ouer. If her nose had béene long enough, I think [...]he might haue smelt a knaue, but I am assured she knew [...] a churle, and so let her claime him wheresoeuer she sées him. Yet one more of the same stampe, and so we will leaue them. This was a wooer in graine, who had gone so far, as they were at next doore to he askt in the Church. The wedding apparel was bought, the day appointed, yea and I may tel you, many of y^• gesse bid, only there was no assurance, for that he abhorred: but it fortuned that before the day there dyed a rich man that left a welthie widdow, to whom he made so secret loue, as he wonne her good will within a fortnight after the death of his predecessour: well, notwithstanding to saue his coū ­terfeit credit, and preserue his hypocriticall honestie, he re­sorted dayly to his olde swéete hart, with whom vpon some smal reason he fel at ods, vsing her so vnkindly in spéeches, as he drew teares for sorrow. Glad of this, though tur­ning his earnest into iest, he called her vnto him, in the pre­sence of many of her Fathers seruants, then swearing that if the tooke him not about the necke & kissed him, he would neuer marry with her as long as he liued. Which y^• yong Gentlewoman refused to doe, partely for that he had iniu­red her highly, but y^• rather least such fondnes should séeme immodestie to the seruants: vpon whose denial, in a great [Page] fume he slung forth of the doores, and in a rage as if of spight, within one fortnight after he matcht with the wid­dowe aforesaid. But to tell you what a life she lead with him, were to hunt from the purpose, yet assure your selfe it was so bad, as y^• world iudged this maid neuer better blest then in not being bestowed ne cast away vpon him.

Such and of the same sorte are these money-woers, that sue first to the Father to saue labour, for spéede they will, and if they misse in one place, they knowe another where they will practise. And how can it be iudged other­wise, séeing their meaning in vsing that meane importes no lesse: for thinke they, if I haue the Fathers good will, the daughter will be easilie wonne, and if I misse of his, I saue that time and labour, in suing to the maide, besides the giftes I should bestowe. Ha ha, I haue him by sent, and what thinke you of him? in faith no otherwise then Hone­stie beléeues. You smell a Foxe, I and a ranke one too, whose breach is so stainde with this gilding matter, as it may easely bée iudged what muck hée loues. Alas good hearts, that are coupled with such bad mindes, this is loue? true, but what loue? couetous loue, hatefull dissimulati­on, hipocriticall affection, and what not that is contrarie to the swéete soueraigne loue, which sues for kisses and not for co [...]ne, which craues the heart & nothing e [...]se; for with it al she hath is his, and he that wil looke for more, I would he had a halter, and he shall not want it in hell, howsoeuer he spéedes here. Fie fie, mariages for the most part are at this day so made, as looke how the butcher bies his cattel, so wil men sel their children. He that bids most shal spéed soonest, & so he hath money, we care not a fart for his honestie. Well it hath not béen so, and I hope it wil not be long so, & I wil assure you, loues common-wealth wil neuer florish vntil it be otherwise. Why, it is a common practize to aske the fa­ther what hée will giue with his childe, and what is that differing from cheapening an Ore? And it is as common, that if she be fat, it is a bargaine, but if leane, she must stay another customer. Out alas what loue is this, in faith if I [Page] might haue sped better in another place, come to notice after I haue bought your daughter, she shall pay for it, or I will make dice on her bones. Apittifull partenership, where there is no greater loue, and how can but one of them be vndone? He will vse her ill, because he loues her not, and shée cannot loue him for not vsing her well; for whome we feare we hate, and what then? Hée will prac­tise her ende, she will wish his death, and while they liue together, it will be so full of heart breakings through quar­rels and contentions, as woe to them both, I and to the third too, that was so forward to make so bad a matche. But howsoeuer they two spéede, I am assured shée will spéede worse, as for hir husband, he will not want ercuses to defend his knauerie, and hir Father must beléeue him, because of hir former credit giuen vnto him; so that con­tented she must be, how discontented so euer she liues, and beare it she must, vntill her hart breake, which happie day must ende her miserie, and set my craftie wooer at li­bertie.

Thus much for my second corner, and now to my third couple, which were ciuilly seated on a benche together, they being the one a batcheler, and the other a widdowe, which was wooed by him after this like order. It were fol­lie forséeth (quoth he) to vse circumstances, since you are so well acquainted with the like practize: but to leaue them and come to the matter, which is (as I thinke) the best meane to please vs both, you shall vnderstand that vp­on the good reporte your honest life hath deserued, I haue conceiued so good liking of you, as I should thinke my selfe happie, if I should spéede no worsse. I thanke you (answe­red she) for your good will: but surely Sir, I thinke you haue deceiued your selfe. For peraduenture you imagine, or it hath béen vntruely reported, that I am the woman, which indéede I am not, namely ritche, for that my decea­sed husband made some showe to the world, but if that bée your thought, I assure you, you are deceiued. You mistake my meaning (replied hée) for it is no such matter; I re­spect [Page] not so much your wealth, as I doo your matronlike modestie, my selfe is young, and I haue a trade, and am, I thanke God, of my selfe able to maintaine a woman. But I doo rather desire to match with your like then with a younger, for that you knowe better, both what belongs to a man, as also to vse thriftely what I get. And moreouer my selfe is not so young, but that I am meeter to match with a widd [...]we then to marrie with a maide, and would be most glad, if it might be my good happe to speede with you. I cannot tell (quoth she) what your good speede may be; I knowe you not, and therefore I hope you will giue me leaue to enquire of you, which done I will send you your answere by such a day, in the meane time I wish you well.

I mary, Honestie, & what then? no marry these, forth she went to her broker to will him to search after his sub­stance, vsing that manner which vsurers can best disclose, which is their practise in putting forth their money. This was a passing commoditie, for what better then a ritche widdowe? but that foolish enquirie spoyled all: had shee thankt him heartily, desired farther libertie, and had made search into his estate secretly, shee had shewed her selfe the wiser: but so bluntly to saie, giue mee leaue to enquire of you, shewed as bad bringing vp, as might bee possible. But tut, I like her the better, because she could not dissem­ble, for she alas did but followe the common trade, dooing with the ape, but what she had seene done before her. She had heard her husband instruct his prentices to make a profit, and she thought she might trie the same for her own good. I would shee and others knewe what was good for them, they would then rather respect the man then money. But this couetousnes spoyles all, though I would I had more, is too much in our mouthes, for followed she not the greedie desire of adding muck to much? might shee not as well haue liued with this man, that had a trade as good, yea much better then her husbands was, as shee did be­fore with him? Shee had no children, suppose she had, they [Page] were prouided for well, and what greater charge woulde this haue brought? he had a care to liue, or else hee would haue sought to loue without respect; for who knowes not that she is as able to satisfie a mans desire, that hath little, as she that hath much, if we onely regarde pleasure? Take this on Hone [...]ies credit, that hee that buildes his loue on such reason, as hauing little, hée will chose one that hath somewhat, wil proue a better match vnto thée, then him that brings mountaines. Beware when lou [...] is vphol­den with maintenance, if the heart remembers, I am thus much beholden vnto her, shée loued mée or else shée would neuer haue matcht with me, she made me a man, being be­fore worse then nothing, how much better might she haue done, if she had not béen led with affection, and such like: It will also remember the duetie this kindnes requireth, e­uen like for like, least the worse crie shanie of him. How happie should parents be, were this in their rememb [...]nce at their mariges making? how blessed should their chil­dren be, if the like practises were vsed? and what a flori­shing commonwealth would that be, where equalitie of birth (which alwaies should bée regarded specially on the mans side) should bée linked to abundance, whereby the number of gentle beggers should be decreased, and the mis­gouernement of wealth will be auoided. One man should not haue his cofersful, and twentie want it that better de­serue it. How many able men should we haue (if this were vsed) to serue and set forth men for the princes seruice? where now I am but one man, and I am bound but to my stint, to finde one mans charge, though I haue fiue mens liuings. But no more, this is too serious for Honestie, & I meruaile how I fell into this vaine, since I studied to bee pleasant. What, thinke you, did my widdowe after her search of enquirie, for you must thinke that the b [...]tcheler longed for his answere? Marry though she was not a fore in her spéeches, yet shée proued no lesse in her dooing, for now shée kept her house as closely as hée dooth his holde craftely. She mislikt of the man, for what cause gesse you, [Page] if you knew as much as I knowe, you would sweare, not for lack of honestie, or because he was vnthristie. But wil you knowe whie? he had not the hundreds lying by him, as the reporte went shée had left her, and therefore shée thought it néedeles any one should lose so much labour, as to fulfill her promise in carrying his answere. Yet if that were all, it were well, I and it had béen well for him (for the sauing of shoo lether) if she would haue spoken with him at his comming to fetche it: But my widdowe would not be within, or else she was busie: and thus was his kinde­nes requited. Now [...]e of the diuell, is this a méete reward for affection, nay suppose it be no more, the good will was it well requited? Me thinkes that if his dog had come, h [...]e deserued better entertainement then to haue béen beaten away, and shee had dealt better if shée had sent himselfe a­way with a crabbed answere, then so vn [...]anne [...]ly to vse him by sléeueles ercuses. And well it were if shee had no more fellowes, but out vpon them, there are too many such, whose coye nicenes e [...]presse their mischieuous fondenes, for speake they will with any man that come, vnles a He­rald fore runnes the sewtor.

In my opinion, and it shall bée grounded vpon reason, such widdowes are worthie to sit while their bréeches growe to their seates, as refuse to answer all conuners of what degrée soeuer, and because I promist you reason, th [...] shall be it. Who knowes not that whosoeuer su [...]s for the like match, winneth a thousand incombrances with his good spéede, for he that knowes not that care shal be ming­led with his best contentment, shall fall into a pitte before he beware of it. And who, were it not for his soules health, would imbrace such an inconuenience for a little commo­ditie? I and the best mariage, is but a little commoditie, in respect of the continuall carking that comes with it. If then, as who saies it is otherwise, a man makes so great suite for so small hearts ease (respecting the earthly plea­sure) deserues not he a good countenance, or at least a wel­come that longs for so bad a bargaine? In my iudgement, [Page] and it shall [...]umpe with mine opinion, that woman [...] much more beholden to the man that would match with her, then to her parents that haue brought her vp; for they did what ere they did, of duety, & this doth what might be vndone of mere deuotion. Why, thinke the best you can, thinke for your selues, suppose one that hath nothing comes to craue your loue, did he only respect your wealth without his owne welfare (and hée that thinkes to haue welfare without dealing wel with you, he reckens with­out his hostesse, and shal finde a new bil of charges) had he not much better to hazsurd the taking of a purse by the high way? Yes doubtles, for were hée by that means brought vnto miserie, he might haue death at his cal, to rid him from extremitie: but now being grieued vncessant­ly, he may séeke for death, but méete with the diuell, hope for an ende, but féele the want of it continually. Yet come we to one further point, imagine some men that bée ouer-unruly, desire to haue accesse into your companie, if you knowe them for such companions, I would holde you vn­wise to admit them into your presence, but shall your hart but say, I suspect without trial, you cannot out-runne the crime of want of descretion. It is best therefore, you that feare such resorte, to harbour your selues, during the time of the heate of the market in such places, as the countenan­ces of your protectors shall preuent suspect, and disparage the practise of such vndecent behauiour; or otherwise to appropriate vnto your houses such helpes as shall bée likely to forestall the like mischiefe. That euery one may bee answered is Hone [...]ies meaning, for vnles they bee, they haue not their due, nor doo [...]ou shewe your selues to de inriched with that cur [...]esie, which wi [...]dowes descreti­on dooth challenge. For let me tell you, and ensure as ma­ny as knowe it not, that a man shall finde more pleasure in lying in the campe, being dayly threatned with the bul­lets of his enemie, then in lodging with a wise, vnles his wisdome be the greater. And I knowe you looke for my reason, then for this cause, for that their vnconstancie [Page] bréedes more feare then the shot brings hurt, and their ten­der heart will craue more gouernement to content them, then the other will aske forecast to preuent the danger they bring with them. For a stéele coate resistes the harme of a musket, but what garment shall out stand her threat­ning of the horne? That man amongst Souldiers is counted accurst, that is strucken with a great shot, and that husband thrise blest among married men, that is not continually wounded with some misdemeanor, or other, he shall espie in his wife? well, I say no more, because I am a batcheler: but Honestie must speake the trueth, or shame will follow him.

It is wisdome to looke before lepping, but extreame fol­lie to stand vpon nothing: hée or shée that makes many doubtes, shall neuer want care, and she wil il rule a charge that cannot charme a knaue. Speake the diuell faire and he will be satisfied, and what woman knowes not how to flatter? It is good to knowe vice, that we may shun that euill, and as good to trie the honestie of wooers, that you may not spéede the worse. You shall often finde a kings heart clad in a thred-bare coate, and a senators wisdome harbored in a youthfull head: vertue goes not by birth, nor descretion by yeares, for there are olde fooles, and young councellers, counterfeit knaues & crabbed churles, the one being clad in a lambes skinne, and the other kept warme with Foxe furre. Nature makes, but fortune clothes, a ritch knaue therefore may march in the habit of a true meaning gentleman, when poore Honestie must goe as he is able, bee it in a mouldie cassock. I haue heard it credibly reported, that there was a ritch widdowe fell here in England, which had left her liuing enough to maintaine a younger brother, and vnto her did resorte such an one, as had not sildome flung out at a bootie, nor would haue cared much if it had béen his father, so he had met him in a conuenient place. This young gentleman (yet not ve­r [...] [...]oung, for he was about fortie) came vnto this wid­dowe, to craue her good wil, vsing as spéedie tearmes as he [Page] desired quicke spéede. Hée tolde her his name, so well knowne throughout the countrie fo [...] a shifting liuer, as he spake no sooner then hee was well knowne vnto hir. Whome she vsed courteously, answering him after this or­der. I hope gentle sir (quoth she) you will giue me leaue to answer you as spéedely as you bluntly aske the question: And with all my heart (replied hée,) for that is my desire. Then assure you thus much (said she) that if there were no more men in the world besides your selfe, I would not marrie with you. A short and sower answere (quoth he) yet let mée assure you, that onely such an one (naming himselfe) will haue you, and so tooke his leaue, depar­ting in as good order, as shée had in kinde manner v­sed him. Shortly after at a méeting with many of his companions, he craued their aide, finding them as forward to performe any thing hée should require, as hée would wish. Vnto whome hée shewed his whole intention, the rather desiring their helpes, for that they had béen part­ners with him in as great hazards, well agréed vppon the match, they rode towards the widdowes house, comming thither in the euening about supper-time, when it was very darke, whereby their companie coulde not bée descried. They knockte at the gate, and was answered by the porter, that being asked who was within, certified them according to his know­ledge. Him they so hampered, as gagde hée was and bound, being laide forth of the way, which done, they pas­sed further, entring the hall with their drawne swordes, where they found all the seruants at Supper. They had no weapons néere them but bones, being vnméete instrue­ments to resist armed men; and dogges they were not to be wonne by such baites. Therefore easily one by one they were bound and laide on a heape, the wooer in the meane time with two of his mates, being in the Parlor with the widdowe that was garded with two sutors, being Gen­tlemen of account in that Country; he vnmasked him­s [...]fe, for they had al visards, and tolde the widdow he was [Page] come for her: at what time one of them grewe cholerick, and I thinke it was he that was likest to haue sped best, for he was placed on the benche néerest to her hart, and drew his poyniard, the best weapon he had at that instant, making as if he meant to darte the same; but vpon better consideration had, be put vp his Dagger, and was conten­ted to be hound with his fellowe. All of them being bound they got y^e Widowe foorth, and bound her with a towel behinde one of them, hauing before their departure hid all the Saddles and turned forth the Horses out from y^• house. Ouer a long plaine they rode so through a wood, where being out of greatest danger, he himselfe the wooer got vp before the widdowe, entreating her to consider of their e­states, not so much he himselfe respecting his own weale, as he regarded his fréends welfare, whome he had drawen into that desperate action. But it was all in vaine, for a­gré [...] she would not, she sware rather to dye then to con­sent, which séemed little to remedie his affection. Wel, in short time they were come to a place prepared for y^• nonce, where they found a good fire with a Parson, and other good company, assembled together about the same matter. It was a wonderfull rainie euening, so that all of them were throughly wet, but there she wanted nothing she could desire, nor spared he kinde words to winne her good will, which was so long in graunting, as before the obtai­ning of it, Hue and cry was followed into that Towne. Whereof he hauing notice, came to her with his last hope, w [...]lling her, that as she was a woman, either then or neuer to consent to the sauing of all their liues. When she séeing no remedy, but either she must relent or they repent it: will you (quoth she) be good to my boy Tom? for she had one onely childe called Thomas. To say I would (replyed he) in this extremitie, might be saide to be but flatterie, but assure thy selfe I will, and much better then I will boast on: vpon which agréement, they were foorthwith maried. Soone after he called her aside, and tolde her she was now his wife, whose credit was her good regarde, we [Page] shal, I know (quoth he) be brought for this before y^e coun­sel, at which time vnlesse you vse y^• matter thus cunning­lye as to affirme this was your owne practise, to shewe your loue, and shun a bad reporte, we shall notwithstan­ding smart for it. Which she promised to doo, and did in­déede no lesse, all them being shortly after apprehended and brought vp to answere it at the coūsell Table, where she tolde so good a tale for him and his fellowes to the ef­fect aforesaide, as the faulte was remitted and they dis­charged. Now that you may vnderstand how well he re­quited this her kindnes, she liued with him a long time, and yet lesse then a dosen yéeres, and dying left this good re­porte of his vsage towards her: namely, that neuer wo­man liued with a more kinde man then she had found him, with other such probable tokens of the certainty thereof, as a Countrie can witnes the same. Him selfe liued not long after her, at his death leauing her sonne Thomas fiue hundred pounds by the yéere, ouer and aboue his own Fa­thers liuing, which he himselfe had purchased by his good husbandrie.

What say you to this vnthrifte? was not she put to a shrewde triall? she was and it proued passing wel. Wher­fore then should yonger brothers be reiected, or why they that haue little be vnregarded? surely because the hart is couetous and mistrustfull, and womens mindes are a­spiring being neuer contented. They so much thirste after preferment, as often they ouer-leape amendement, and iumpe iust into a worser predicament.

Many looke so long for aboundance of mucke, as as they fall into a quagmire of miseries, hauing siluer to looke on, though wanting mony to supply many wants, hauing a faire shewe and a shrewde kéeper, one that hath more then enough, & yet will not part with any thing: Ho­nest [...]e knowes many of these, and they féele more then I can tell you. Who goes for the most parte worse shod then the Shoomakers childe, and who hath lesse mone [...] in her pursse then she whose Husband hath most in his chest? [Page] But for that I am some what straied out of my way, I will return to my first widdowe before my shooes be quite worne: My forenamed Bacheler that neither by himself [...] or his fréends, could speake with her to know her answer, deuised this conclusion, to send her a Letter by a fréend, not so much for the matter there in set downe, as that y^• might be a meane to entice her to be spoken with, which indéed [...] proued to some purpose. For to the Messenger she came, and after notice giuen from whome the Letter was sent, gods Lord (quoth she) did not my fréend giue him his an­swere? No, replyed the Messenger, for he craues no more by this Letter. Surely (quoth she) I thanke him for his good will, but I am not minded that way. What way (re­plyed he) not to marry? Yes saide she, but not with one so yong. Now you shall vnderstand her simple excuse, clean­ly made, for in a mans iudgement it would not be thought there was much difference betwéene their ages. And as it was gathered after, she meant one way, and the Messen­ger tooke it an other, for she meant yong in substance, though he vnderstood it for yéers: as after further talk she plainely expressed. What shall Honestie say more of her? in sooth nothing but to pray either for the amendement of her and her companions, or else that this punishment may be inflicted vpon them: that is to say, that they may be so haunted vntill they deale better, as they may not péepe foorth of their houses, without as much wondermen as the Owle hath that flieth in the day time. And doo they deserue lesse, that make fooles? it hath béene a fustie saying, Qui moccat moccabitur, and vntill that proue true by practice, as i [...] falles out true often vnlookte for, we that are to spéed shall neuer finde better. If all men will agrée to Honestie, we wil keepe a Cronicle of such wenches, my selfe will be speak the registreship, and though it be no great office, yet it may doo much good. But now to a fourth kinde.

Which were a thrise-made, not a thréed-bare Widdow­er, and a fiue times left Widdowe, both of them being so much in Fortunes bookes, as they were endowed with the [Page] thousands. They soone agréed vpon the matter, and with­in a shorte time were married, vnto whose house hauing heard them boast of their substance, I often resorted to sée what good chéere they kept, I was twise there together in Christmas time, but neuer could sée hotte meate, yet good store of cold by reason they had had foure daies before many guests. But since the holly dayes hoping for hetter fare, I found him and she set at a couple of red. Herring, & a slice of barrel butter, colde fare as I thought for a tues­day supper. Alas how were the seruants dieted, when they had no better? I would haue thought y^e faulte to haue béene in her, vntill she saide vnto me, that she was sorrye she had no better fare for Honestie; when the olde Churle replied, holde thée content wife, he is welcome, I thanke God I haue this for him. I thanke your worship saide I, though I thought, I beshrewe the Churles hart. But there of force must I lodge too, for that I had ouer farre home, and he that had fedde me so hungerly, had found talke enough to kéepe me with him till midnight. I must confesse I lay better then I had supped, lodgde in the next Chamber to themselues, there being nothing but a thinne wall betwéene vs. After my first sléepe I heard them two very lowde, and though I did not greatly desire to be a partaker of their secret, yet I could not choose vnles I had béene either naturally or artificially deafe. They were at so hotte words, as he cryed, out vpon thée old beg­garly whore, with other most shamefull tearmes, she ther­by being forced thus to complaine. Alas that euer I was borne to sée your face, I was no begger when I met with [...]ou, for I brought with me as good as twentie thousand pounds, which now being at your disposition, you deale thus crabbedly with me, méeting together in respect but yesterday: what hope resteth to me of the end, seeing the beginning is so bad? you diet me with hardmeat, and chéer me with crabbed vsage, I can neither haue a penny in my pursse, nor a good shooe to my foote. I gréeue to heare my seruants repine thereat, though I cannot amend it, and [Page] for that I tell you of it which may redresse it, thus you re­uile me. Holde thy peace olde whore (quoth he) or I will make thée, if they like it not, let them mend theirselues, and either charme your toung or I will clapperclaw your bones: with which cooling carde, she was glad to be qui­et, as I gesse, for I could beare no more of her at that time.

Now Honestie hauing leasure to thinke of what he had heard, still harpt of y^• twentie thousand pounds, which as I thought, was méeter to haue made a King, then to haue pleased a churle, with y^• I condemned his cruelty, and piti­ed her chaunce, so long thinking on her hard fortune, as I fell a sléepe, taking vp the remnant of my mornings nap. Well, before I rose my olde carle was vp, and before I was ready gone ahroad, when suddenly comming foorth of my lodging, forced to passe through his Chamber, I found the good olde woman shedding teares so aboundant­ly, as I could not but gréeue for company. But séeing me, she rowzed vp her selfe and would haue shadowed her dis­content, yet at last assured I had heard the [...]arre, she saide she was sorrie I had béene disquieted, the which I ex­cused, saying, I was more greeued for her then for my dis­quieting, for had that béene the worst, Honestie hath béene farre woorse troubled. Ah good sir (quoth she) this is their fortune that are couetous, for I had enough left me to haue liued like a woman, if I could haue béen so contented: but aiming at dignitie hath béen my destruction, and longing after promotion hath brought me to this miserie: my last Husband was accounted a good housholder, and compa­nion to the best in the parish, but he being gone, and my hope to become a Lady, hath ledde me to this ill bargaine. Ah gentle Honestie, I was no meane woman when I met with him, but he thinkes, for that I haue turned my Cloth to silke, he hath made me happie. How happie had I béene, if I had neuer séene him, but too late it is to wish, and folly to complaine, for that it was my owne choice that hath matcht my selfe with such a churle. He clothes me in gay [Page] coates for his owne credit, but with them cloyes me with multitudes of discontentments: abroad he is gone, and perchaunce I shall not sée him till bed time, nor are such trickes plaide seldome, when he leaues nothing, what néed soeuer we should haue of any thing, but what the houshold prouision is, the best being no better thē your yesternights fare. If he brings any bodie home with him, we must run to the Cookes to saue fiering, nor can a bit of bread be ea­ten without an account giuen to him, he scarcheth euery corner, [...] chides for euery candles end he findes misplaced, and if perchaunce he happe on a crust, he will make as much stirre as if it were the losse of a Cow: he will prie into the greace pot, and hunt after the Tappe droppings, to be bréefe, the creame pot should be ouerlooked by him e­uery day once at the least, and his fiering surueied as of­ten, a Chéefe cannot be cut without his leaue, nor a sticke be burned without grutching. Nor doo I so much gréeue at this in respect of my selfe, as for that my seruants want their due, their want being more irkesome vnto me, then this scant: for what will they let to reporte, and who can blame them? or who will staye in such an house, and not without reason? so that dayly discredit is heaped on vs and continuall care for looking after new seruants neuer from vs. This is my greatest hart breake, and my sute to haue this redressed is our only breake-peace. He sumes when I informe him of what I haue heard, and stampes when I tell him it is not well, nor wil I tel thée all, for that this is too much, nor shouldst thou haue knowne of thus much for me, except his crabbednes had made the path. But hark he is come in, for the passion of God hide thy selfe, for if he should know thou wert not gon, he will mistrust vs, and smart I shall for vs both.

Now the Diuell breake his necke, or God amend him, thoght I, yet for feare of her harm I was contēt to be lockt vp by her into a closet, where I was cōstraind to stay while y^• téeth chattered in my head, before we could be rid of him. W [...]ll, at last by good fortune a companion of his fetcht him [Page] forth to dinner, who being gone, I was let forth, an extra­ordinary fier being made for my welcome down; & to make me a mends, she had sent a bracelet she had, of which he knew not, to paune, prouiding so good fare for my Dinner, as I was not at better all the Christmas. But while we were eating of it, our mirth could not be much, her feare was so great of his comming home, but we making as quick spéede as our téeth would let vs, after we had doone I thanked her, taking my leaue and departing. Wel, my backe was scarce turnde, when she bid her men and maids to bestirre them that the kitchen might be drest vp and the remnant of our Christmas fire to be quencht and cast into the priuie, least his search should finde out the brandes, and that bréede no little disquietnes to them all. Alas poore wretch thought I, how many seruants are there which liue at more ease and stand in lesse awe then thou doost? Is this a wiues protion? doubtles no, but a iust plague for couetousnes, for they which cannot vse a benefite when they haue it to a good purpose, shall want it when they would, and seeke it when they cannot finde it. Couetous­nes shall not escape hell, for how farre I pray you was she from it? her good daies died with her matching with him, and if there be any purgatory betwéene vs and hell, she was in it, and thereby at the next doore to that dungeon. I would but all couetous mindes were plagued but with a dramme of the like discontent, I would haue theirs but a seauen-nights punishment, whereas she must endure per­aduenture seauen yéeres torment. Honestie thinkes such a messe of miserie would bring them to a banquet of happi­nes at their deliuerie from that wretchednes. If many of our coye dames that cannot be content with any thing, and are so curious, as daily dainties séeme nothing vnto them, were but pincht a while with her morselles, I am perswaded it would saue their husbands a great deale of charges in their diet thence after, and would make their seruants much happier, by being fréed from much néedeles labour. Their houses would be pulled downe, and the [Page] delight of their curious poked ruffes would be set aside, they would not respect y^e superfluous dishes they vse, nor regarde their superstitious curiositie in rubbing y^• [...]owres of their houses: what should I say more? they would vse obedience towards their Husbands more, and brawling with their seruants lesse, they would thinke of their owne happie liues & pittie others; they would séeke to please, and be more easily pleased; they would liue contentedly, and be thankfull for so great prosperitie.

The fishe that hath b [...]ne stricken with the hook, feares the baite; the childe that hath burnte his fingers, dreades the candle; the horse that hath beene punished with the spurre, suspects the wagging of the héele, and the apprehē ­ded theefe, begins to thinke on the halter. What delight brings sweete things vnto them that neuer tasted of sharp sauce? or what an indifferent opinion carrie they of pro­speritie, that haue neuer béene in miserie? The vnridden Colte bites the snaffle while the olde horse is glad to play with the bit, and they that are vsed to shackles, weare thē without much annoiance: for that it is vse that gets experience, and experience that brings profit. When a curst Cow hath short hornes, harme is lesse suspected, and if a crabbed cur be musled there can be no danger. There are both baites to entice, and bobbes to make to forbeare: allurements to winne, and corrections to driue away; and he that thought this to be néedefull, knowes best to vse it, which happens alwaies to vnbrideled nouices: once good spéede egges vs to a second aduenture, and if twise a théefe hath escaped the halter, he will neuer leaue vntill he pur­chase tiborne. My last Husband was so good, makes some so desirous of a second, as their hastie bargaine bringes o­uer late repentance. Like will to like, quoth the Diuell to the Collier, and some will neuer be satisfied vntill their mouthes be filled with Clay. He that hath enough séekes for more, and so I carrie a great countenance I care not how I am beloued. Indéede what cannot money doo that will buye any thing, and yet honestie will purchase that [Page] which all the muck in the world cannot compasse, namely a good report for euer. Who knowes not that the coue­tons man cannot line quietly, and why wil we not knowe that the aspiring minde shall be brought lowe? The loue of your wealth is in your owne hands, but the key of your wittes kept by a higher guide. You may chose a ritch man and hunt after an honest (yet ritches and honestie goe sil­dome together) but to say it shall be for your weale must craue anothers leaue. Hée that giues all things can giue thée both, and if thou wilt taste of his liberalitie, built on his charitie, suspect not and speede well, feare and speede ill, let therefore all thy care be built on his kindenes, and thou wilt be better contented with a kinde begger then a crab­bed churle. To take heede by another mans ha [...]me is a lo­uing warning, but if thou wilt needes try, take the hazard. When our neighbours house is on s [...]er, we haue neede to bestirre vs, and he that sits still at such an e [...]tremetie, is worthie to taste of the like miserie. To looke ere we lep is good counsell, yet to looke hartely and lep faintly, makes many to fall into a ditch dangerously, well a word to a wise man is enough, and there are few women but haue store of wit, if they adde discretion vnto it. Honestie ther­fore wishes them to vse it so well as they neuer speede ill.

A sift forte now followeth, which was a couple stan­ding in the midst of the company, both of them being of e­quall yeares. He was a young ciuill gentleman, no lesse proper then hée séemed wise, his discreet gouernement beautifying both; but she, though shée had wit al will and was very proper, yet lacked shée the other step to wis­dome, namely discreetenes in her behauior. Her immodest fondnes gaue suspect of vnciuill lightnes, so that her ouer­forwardnes séemed to ouerlay her louers affection. Shée would hang about his neck before all that company, as a iacke of Napes doth sitting on the bear heards shoulder, and kisse as openly as a dog scombers carelesly. She fol­lowed him at héeles like a tantinie pigge, and hong about him as if pinned to his slieue. He could not stirre without [Page] her company, nor scarce goe to make water, but she would awaite on him. Thus much did she not let to doe openly, and therefore I had the more desire to sée how she spent her time secretly: which was as contrarie as might bée, for whereas she would bee mad merrie in his company, in his absence she would be as mad melancholie. Shée then would sit in a corner, as a dogge doth that is crept into a hole, h [...]uing done a shroude turne, wetting her couch with teares for the lack of her swéet heart, as a childe doth the bed for want of a chamber-pot. But being in a good vaine, shée would pen passionate sonnets, and in that hu­mor did I once take her when she had newly finished this amorous dittie.

After the selfesame order spends shée her well spent time, yéelding such bitter sighes, while she is setting down the like passions as a horse doth hartie neeses, that is trou­bled with an extreame colde. Then pausing a while on that she hath done, weighing the estate of her lamentable case, shee castes her selfe vpon hir bed, b [...]ea [...]hing against the fates the rancor of her heart after [...] [...]anner. Vn­iust and cruell sisters, that haue prol [...]ng [...] my dayes to endure this miserie; is this the force of your [...]crée, to de­crease my ioy by increasing my d [...]yes? Haue you drawne to this length the thread of [...] life, now to cut the same with so sharpe an edge-to [...]le? Cruell and vnkinde are ye so crabbedly to deale with a poore virgin, suffering me to liue to endure this crueltie. There making a full point, would she lie gasping as if she were giuing vp the Ghost, till at length hauing gathered winde, shee would thus begin to murmur against Fortune. Vnconstant dame, so much delighting in mutabilitie, as all thy ioye is to alter chances. How wauering is thy wheele, and how vncer­taine thy fauours, the one still turning, and the other ne­uer remaining long where so ere they are bestowed? Was this the pittie of your heart, to set downe so vnmer­cifull a doome, as I should alwaies rest vnhappie? You whirle your whéele about to please your selfe with the turning, tossing thereby vnto me one miserie vpon ano­ther: then casing me of that burthen, to make the next séeme more displeasing vnto me, thou shewes me my harts ioye, and sets me on the top of delight to beholde the diffe­rence betwéene weale and woe. But from thence thou throwest me as quickly downe, as I was ioyfully seated, letting thy whéele rest as ouerlong, while I lie in the dun­geon of vnceasing paine, as it did too too little stay at the [Page] height of my pleasure. Thou giues me kinde words, and cruell fare, happie sightes and horrible heart-akes, thou shewes me rest and sees me with trouble, setting me at the table of daiuties, yet binding my hands least I should touch them, so far am I from tasting of their sweetnes. Vnkinde and vnconstant fortune, what chance had m [...]n­kinde to be charmed to thy beck, and wherein are we more vnfortunate, then in being forced to obay fortune? To which interrogation, her selfe would answere with a flat mad fit, cursing her parents that begot her, her birth day wherein shee was brought forth, the nurse that gaue her sucke, the cradle that lulled her a sléepe, death for that hee ended not her dayes, and her selfe for that she was. Now tearde she her haire from her head, anon she vnapparelled her selfe to hir smocke, then like a spirit would shée daunce the Morrice about the chamber, and soone sossing her selfe downe by the fiers side, sit no les senceles then her actions had béen witlesse, a long time resting as in a traunce. But at last as ouerlate comming to her selfe, shée would, looking on her selfe, séeme to bée afraide of her selfe, sor­rowfull to sée the fruite of her forsaken reason, and rising would soone make her readie. Being readie shée fell vpon her knées, crying the Gods mercie, and powring forth a­boundance of teares, in token of her penitencie. And after that being indeede in her rightest minde: shée tooke her lute singing to her singering this sonnet.

Which musick would bée so metamorphosed, as in truth her singing would turne to sighing, and her playing to complaining, when in a rage she would throwe her lute downe, beginning to dilate on her loues vnkindnes, that could be so cruell to stay foure and twentie houres from her. Now found she fault with her selfe for being so fond on him that forbeared so carelesly her companie, and by and by in a great rage swearing to forsake him, she set­led her selfe to frame a rayling letter for a last farewell. But before shée had scarce written an vnkinde worde, she pausedon the matter, casting both pen inke and paper from her, yet vpon her second aduice about she goes with a fresh charge to pen a crabbed charme, and had gone so farre as she had set downe, Fie vnkinde wretch. And there againe in a doubt of going forward or leauing the rest vn­done, shée gnawed so long vpon her pen in studying what to doe as she had eaten it almost quite vp. But at last with a resolution she played the woman, falling into so kinde a vaine of scoulding, as she had charged him with a thousand discourtesies for missing one nights resorte vnto her. And as she was concluding her colour with a protestation, ne­uer to desire to sée his face againe, in came one of her si­sters with newes that Master Anthony was belowe. Which so quite purged her of her melancholie, as in a rage she rent the paper, and cast all her anger with it into the fier, posting with such haste to her swéete-heart, as in stead of running downe she tumbled downe a whole paire of stayres. Which bad beginning was carelesly put ouer with the conceiued ioy of his presence, shée entertaining [Page] him with a kisse, for that he was not forward enough, to bestowe on her the like fauour. But ere long, shée began to perceaue that Master Anthonie was changed, being no­thing so frolick of his kindnes as hée had béen, and it was no maruel. For some reporte of her fore-used fondnes was come to his eares, that being no small frost to my his for­mer affection; so that his onely comming was to make that conclusion she was of late imagining, soone finishing in wise and discréet tearmes that her suspect was penning. Vpon whose departure, with the paune left of his reso­lution, my minion fel into a sound, there being such a stirre for her recouerie, as what for running for aqua vitae, po­sting for ale, plying warme cloathes and such like, there was no lesse rule then is in a [...]auerne of great resorte. Here forsooth, saith she that had the aqua come quickly, By and by answered shée, being called that went for the ale, the rest no otherwise replying to euery question and com­maunde. Well at length life was got in her, though no words could bée drawne from her, but being got to bed, she song ere long like a bird of Bedlam.

In which fit I left her, more pittying her péeuishnes then her passions, the rather lesse regarding either for that I knew that violent fit would not stay long. But to tell you what Honestie thought all this while, for I knowe that is your longing, and if you be shrowe any body, blame her for not letting you haue your will sooner, by kéeping me so long there against my will. For vnwilling I was to stay there so long, and as loath to leaue her before shée had left at a full point. That you might know all was my wish, and since I haue mine now, you shall not bée long without your wil. She neuer sighed hartely, but I laught as merely, being as often readie to pisse my bréeche for ioye, as she was to shed teares, which came from her as had at commandement. And wherefore was Honestie thus vncharitable thinke you, reioycing at his neighbours mi­serie? Surely because her selfe was so foolish to bée so dis­quietly moued with nut-shels: would it not haue made a [Page] horse breake his halter, to sée her mumble to her selfe as an ape mowes at his own shaddow. Doubtles, may I speake it without the suspect of arrogancy, Honestie hath as much holde of his ciuilitie, as a mare hath of her honestie, and yet I might as well be hanged, as be kept from being merry when she mourned. A Camelion cannot change her selfe into more kinde of colours then shée would vse change of motions. Sometimes shée would walke with her hands clasped and her eyes cast vp to heauen, as if shée were sent for, with all spéede to render an account of her passions. Anon she would runne about the chamber like a hare that had lost her way: then by and by would she houle like a kinde dogge that had lost her master. After that girne like a Monkie that sées her dinner, and ere long be as dead as a dore naile, lying by the fier side as a block doth at the backe of a chimney. And this last simile proues not worst, for she burned no lesse through the cinders of too kinde affection, then the logge dooth with the helpe of charke-coles.

Was not this a monstrous fit, that had so many moti­ons? Why if Honestie should tell you how shée would sometimes bite of her owne nailes, knocking the wall with her féete, praunsing on the ground, and lepping of and on the bed, you would thinke hée had to doe with an vnruly iade. Fie no she was a mankinde creature, and I would not offend them for a kingdome: but this Hone­stie is such a pestilent spie-fault, as he cannot sée a wench out-start the bounds of modestie, but straight he hollowes the sight of a striker, thinking it vnpossible that if shée want maidenly behauiour shee can haue womanly hone­stie. Well I knowe some will say hee is a pick thanke, but were not they shonne-thankes they would speake bet­ter of Honesties sonne. But thus much for Honesties credit, and now againe to my cract-loue, that had crauled so farre into affections extremitie, as she had lost the habit of her customers curtesie. I went once more of deuotion to sée her, because I left her in so extreame an agonie: and it was [Page] within two dayes after. Whome then I found clasped within a new louers pawes, as iocunde with him of mine honestie, as euer I sawe her pleasant with Master Antho­nie. And what thought Honestie then thinke you? in faith no otherwise then I am assured you doe now. I thought vpon such fondnes, the prouer be was builded, hot loue wil be soone colde, but enough of that in another place, and thus much more of her at this time.

She was as glad I warrant you of a louer, as a weried [...]ade is of a faire way, and he being tyred is not more glad of a stable, then she was desirous of a bab [...]ll: it is onely, for rime at this instant, and therefore let it passe (I pray you) with your fauour; but whether it doth or no, I be­shrewe my name if I get any blame. For my tongue will not amble out of the trueth, though I should digge out my guttes with the Spurre, Beware least you offend. There is one still at mine elbowe, and sayes I must take heede how I diffemble, since Honestie is become a deitie. I would I were not, or went not so vnuisible, for then I should not craule so easily into maydens chambers, and heare them boaste of so many fauours bestowed by them on this day, so many kisses giuen to one, another vnloo­sing her garter, yea and she thought hee went not high e­nough. Well but that I am mercifull, and will not name you that are so immodest as to boast of such lightnes, for if I should, I should quite fray away many of M. Anthonies companions, from bestowing them affections on so liberall whipsters. But I saye no more for shame, hoping I shall haue no cause to speake of the like againe, you will become so ciuill, then thus much for you, and now to another.

This way a coy dame whose nice strangenes moued me not to the least admiration: she stoode iust at the doore, to whom not so few as twenty had in my veine made suite. They were of sundrie sciences, and of all degrées that had tooke the deniall of her, which made mee the rather to ad­mire the cause, and to obtaine my longing, I lodged my [Page] selfe that night vnder her bed. When she was layed, and one of her mothers maides with her, shee began thus to parly. Wot you what Nan (quoth she) how many sutors thinkes thou haue I sent packing to daye? Not so many (answered the maide) as you did the last time you were there. Yes faith girle double (replied she.) And found you so many faultes in these (quoth Nan) as you did in the other? Nay I trow wench (answered she) I let not them passe in whom I discouer not many ouer-stippes. And what were their faults I pray you, quoth the girle? Some of them had store of wealth (answered she) but little honestie, other were honest enough, but too too hard fauoured; some had good faces, and b [...]d bodies; other being proper, had crab­bed countenances, some were amiable for fauour, perfect of bodie, yet ill legged; other which were well legde, sha­led with their féete or were splafooted; and to b [...] briefe, they that trode right were either clouterly caulfed, trée like set, spindle shankte, or bakerly knéed; onely there were two e [...]quisitely shapte, whereof one was too tall, and the other too too lowe. Thus much for their parts, and now to their properties.

They that were wealthy were meanely qualited, and they that had many good properties were moniles: some had good toungs and spake well, hauing as ill gestures, o­thers were rich and séemed wise, those I suspected to be wenchers. And to make as shorte woorke in telling thée of them, as I made spéedie haste in sending them packing; either I mislikte their estates, scorned their personages, lothed their want of qualities, or could not away with their kinde of wooing. But shal I be so bolde (quoth Nan) to aske you one more question? I twentie and thou wilt, for in faith I haue no list to sléepe. In sooth forsooth, then (quoth the girle) what manner of man shall he be, with whom you will match? Mary such a one (answered she) as shalbe the onely matchles creature in the worlde. But how will you méete with him replyed Nan? As he shall light vpon me by Fortune. But Fortune is blinde (quoth [Page] the wench) and may lead him to another in steade of you. Yet as she is blinde (replyed the other) so is she a Goddesse a good supporter of my chaunces, and I know my reporte is set so néere her elbowe, as she cannot forget me if s [...] would.

I marry sirs you talk of a wench, and what w [...]s this of a proud one? is it not great pittie but nature should haue compassion on this neate creature, and shape for her a mirrour of meane worth? Now of my troth Honestie likes such an one, and why thinke you? I will tell you my reason, and if it iumpes with your conceite, say you mette with a kill Crowe. I am assured that they that are of my minde shall escape a great deale of trouble, for of mine ho­nestie, if I should light on such an one, I know certainely I should be quickly rid of a néere nushap, in being preuen­ted of matching with a nice ninnte, by a nice body: for not being the paragon of the worlde, would kéepe me from marrying with the onely paltrie one of y^• worlde: whether then thinke you such to be profitable members of a com­mon wealth? Howsoeuer you think, Honestie hath said, he thinks them hurtfull to none that escape thē, for y^• their folly one [...]y hurtes themselues, dooing good to others, in the like manner as he hath tolde you. Trot you and you will to trye your Fortune, and runne to wooe such curious cu­stomers, but say I bid you take héede, least you resist good lucke, by being importunate to wooe them, with whome you shall winne a masse of manner-les Monkish trickes. And I speak especially to you, that hunt after monsters of modestie, desiring to haue the maidens you would matche with, as very matrones as your mothers. Beware you light not vpon an ouer wearied conceipted sollom-bird, be­ing one that hath béene so curious to be talkte with of any as hauing liued ouer long without one, is become glad of any. Honestie knowes such, and you may be troubled with such, and how can you thinke your selues vnworthie? In faith ill conceited birds, if you thinke your selues so vn­wise, as you are vnable to gouern a wilde wench, you will [Page] shewe your selues more foolish, if you match with a nice no-maide. But what saide Honestie? be there any such? I that there are, ordained for the nonce, to nurture such nod­dies. It is as easie to be mislead by hypocrisie, as it is follie to trust to an vncertaintie, and it is more vncertaine to know now a daies whether a woman bee honestly mo­dest, or knauishly coye, then whether a Smithféelde horse will proue good, or iadish.

Sée how I haue a tale by the end of a ninnie of my now handled maidens qualitie, which was a Misers Daughter in the low Countries. Who was so proper a péece of flesh, as I can tell you we haue not many Oyster women that out goes her in hooke shoulders. By reporte she was a louely one, but that she was monstrous blobber lipt, and stoopt somewhat vnreasonably in the vpper parte of her backside, but that is no matter, her father was richer then most in that Countrie, and why should not she thinke her selfe the properest of a thousand? of Honesties word so by likelyhoode she did, and if you say not so anon, then say I haue heard a lye. She thought her selfe so proper, as none vnder a Burges his eldest Sonne might sue vnto her, and he too to be no faultie gallant; for he with all commers should be so surely sifted by her, to sée whether they trod their shooes aw [...]y or no, as the Miller doth the grist before he mingles chalke amongst it. She would haue a fling at their heades, to sée whether they were round like a ball, or long like a bottell, and so from euery parte, til she were past the vndermost parte of their Pantoples. And in all of them she would be sure to finde some fault or other, the least being a sufficient cause to cut off their procéedings. Thus dealt she so long, as at last her doultish age was vn­awares come vpon her, making her fustie curiositie a shamefull mockerie throughout the Countrie; so that the generall reporte of her bruted ignomynie made her growe glad of any companie: and now faine would she b [...] married, though loth to encrease her shame by matching with farre worse then she had refused being offered, and [Page] therefore thinking to hinder the make-spéede of murmured ignominie, with a craftie colour of a continuing care to couple her selfe to one of Fortunes darlings, she concluded there should be a Lotterie, and whose chaunce it was to be drawen by her sh [...]uld onely possesse her w [...]thered self. You must thinke that many were glad to win her, for whom almost will not wealth wooe to a bad bargaine? My storie reportes that of all sortes, some for pastime and others for profite, [...]ut their scrolles into fortunes budget, and on the day when my minions draft should be manifested, who should haue her by lot, but such an one as Tom-witles is, that will cry if one offer to take away his bable.

A sutable mate for so long a search; there was but one grand foole in a Country, and sée how Fortune had kept her for him. Now such chaunce follow like curious coye wenches, and may neuer wiser persons match with them. And are they not thinke you the méetest for them? For they desire to haue them, that haue the smallest faults, and Honestie thinks it y^• least fault in a man to be a foole. Who is more proude then a foole, and what woman more coy for the most parte then she that hath least reason for it? The Crow likes her own birde best, though it be the blackest, and would not we haue women thinke well of thēselues? I pray you let them haue their willes, or they will whe­ther you will or no; and if you like them not you may leaue them, and with as good reason as they will be sure to deale so with you, vnlesse you highly please them. The Asse hath a curious eye, and y^• makes his pace so slowe; for short legges will trippe at euery stone, and what, she is not afraide to fall on a stone? And reason too, but they will neuer be happie, vntill Tom foole and his fellowes be ba­nisht for throwing stones at them which often hurt their bellies, whereas their falling breakes but their knées. A­las poore asses that your eyes cannot kéepe you from bur­thens, as they make you ouer-leape often vnknowne di­amondes. But what are more pretious then pleasing thoughts, and what fancies are more full of pleasure then [Page] those that most extoll our selues. This arrogancie is an infectious pestilence; for we get pride one from an other, as we purchase the plague in a mortalitie. But once more returne we to the merry talke of our coye Maiden.

After a long progresse passed in description of the swéet hart she would haue, being such an exquisite proper quali­ted Squire, as is scarse one in a whole Countrey, y^• maid sell with her to this point: Now of my troth (quoth she) by your leaue I am not of your minde, for such a matchles fellowe is as méete a baite to entice many women to doo his wife wrong, as a faire woman shall haue sutors to doo her Husband a shrewde turne. And therefore as I would not wish to be matcht with such a crabbed péece of flesh as none can fancie, so desire not I to holde a mark for euery one to shoote at, the rather for that there are fewe men which will refuse a kinde offer. Beware when the woman wooes, if she be perceiued to be forward to some dispositions, she shall not want the offering of a bob: so that the bobbing bable shall bob the foole with her own cu­rious choice. Which knauish quip did so nip my Mistres Daughter on the head, as in troth she left arguing and fell harde to scolding.

This is bobbing with a witnes thought Honestie, but surely it were pittie it should not be true in some cases, and in those onely would I wish it true, that striue so far to out-goe their fellowes in superexcellent obiectes.

Beware the Foxe that hath the smoothest skinne, it is signe his coate is olde, and his wit not young, he will be sure of a goose in store, when many of his neighbours shall want one. I know some, about whome Nature hath be­stowed so long time in shaping faire faces with proper bo­dies, as she hath at last for haste béene constrained to let them passe with vnperfect hartes. She must performe her stinte, and a time is limited her to fashion euery childe; by reason thē they must haue the purest harts, y^• haue the vn­l [...]kest shapes. I know what you will say, and therby wil onely séeme to gainsay Honestie, for that it is a Prouerbe, [Page] C [...]ooked without, and crabbed within. Of tr [...]th I must confesse, that it is very likely, though not alwaies true, (for no work-man but hath sometimes a mischaunce hap­pen to his most curious worke, after the finishing therof, either by a fall or such like casuall chaunce) that a halting bodie hath a dissembling hart, and a mishapen creature a crabbed disposition, and we doe finde it commonly, that vnder foulest aspects are hidden the fairest harts, though I know women accompt blacke thinges to be of least worth. But search againe and looke what dye is more perfect, or what will take soile sooner then the milke­like white? well, the maidens proposition pleased Hone­stie ouerwell, as you may gesse by my long stay vpon it, but I will assure you it displeased no les my yong mistres. Alas it is a little thing that will not displease them whom nothing can please, and shall we thinke a wench could pos­sibly please her long, vnto whom so many men were disli­king? Now surely he shall haue a new accompte, that rec­kons on lesse then this: namelye, that his matching with such a minion, which was so curious to be pleased, will craue as great care to be kept pleased, as a iade will re­quire arte to be kept from tiring. Nor doo I say she wil be tired, I would rather be driuen to affirme he shalbe iaded, though with such an one as will neuer be tired.

But let such as my Mistres Many-mislike is, take héede least by their coye kindenes, they kill their harts whome they would gladly saue after, with all their arte, and can­not. How easie is it to put that away with our little sin­ger, which we would willingly recouer againe with both our hands? I haue knowen some Faulkoners that haue béene so curious in dieting their Hawkes, as a nice curte­san is of her fare, and yet sometimes they haue searcht a whole day after the killing of a carrion Crowe, and mist of it too. The faire lastes not alwaies, and such as lightly regarde a good bargaine when it is proffered, may trie the market a twelue moneth after and misse of the like offer. The rolling stone gathers no mosse, nor the running fan­cie [Page] is worth the catching. They shalbe sure to méete with a fickle hart, that match with such a wauering loue, and an vnconstant affection is better lost then found. And for that I am entred into the path of vncōstancie, I wil come to a seauenth enemie, which a couple harboured that stood behinde the doore.

He was a Prentice that had foure yéers to serue, which I certainely vnderstoode afterwards, though at that in­stant I geste no lesse by his fearefulnes to be séene: wel, these had so wooed and wonne the one the other, as sure they were, hauing remained so by the space of thrée yéers: yet now there was dislike growen betwéene them, firste springing from the woman that was discontented that she had alreadie lost so much time, being yet bound to endure a longer stay. Who knowes not the certaintie of her pre­sumption confirmed by an order of the Cittie of London, (which is, that if any man standing bound for the seruing of yéeres, entangle himselfe and marrie before the tearme of his yéeres ended, he shall double his prentiship) and ther­fore must she either out-stay thē, or binde him by the hastie match to seauen yéers more seruice. Vpon this inconue­nience mislike harboured in her bosome, hauing tied that with her toung which she could not loose with her hands; so that mad melancholly she was for the matche made by her selfe, that tooke so small delight therein.

Now I would all might be serued with y^• same sauce, thought Honestie, that so soone tying themselues, desire as soone to be loosed: and it is great maruell when it falles out otherwise, especially in these daies, wherin constancie is made a hackney. Lingring loue breedes mislike, and how can that loue be faithfull, that is fastned with so slender a thong. There is a thing which maintaines the coherence of two harts, which if it be long wanting, our loue will proue but watrish affection: I meane that certaintie of an euerlasting happines, with an assurance of a continuall earthly pleasure. There comes many faire Horses into Smith féelde in a twelue moneth, which make many that [Page] are sped alreadye, to wish themselues vnprouided, to deale with them; for all men haue not kéeping for two Gel­dings. It is time that makes a iade knowen, and our knowledge y^• wishes him further from vs. Many thinges must alter in seauen yéeres, for that wonders happen in a moment. In one day a begger and a King are made equal, both the pompe of the one, and the poore estate of the other being buried in dust. Losses come soonest vnlooked for, and the worst bargaines are gotten with the greatest search: néede raiseth the market, and much enquirie after a com­moditie engenders suspect there is scarcitie thereof. What cannot golde doo, and may it not then easily conuert a hart that longes after it? There are many entising baites that change many mindes, & who wil not striue for the golden Apple? onely except those that know they cannot get it, though they are deseruing thereof, which impossibilitie must néeds hatche miserie. How be cormorants more pla­gued, then by a disappointment of their purpose? They that forestall markets, make often times but bad bar­gaines, as well as the sluggard that comes a day after the Faire.

Is it not folly to striue to kéepe a wet Eele by the taile? or what commoditie ariseth, of holding the Diuell by the great toe? the one is ouer-quick, and the other won­derous strong: and in Honesties iudgement a knowne losse, the sooner it comes the lesse it gréeues, and better it is to be without company, then to be matcht with an ene­mie. Slipperie ware is not y^• best Marchandize, and what requires more care, then Glasse that is most brittle? I know you wil say a womās hart is as tēder, and y^• I think no lesse. Then since we must hazard our welfare, that are constrained to deale with such pure metall, being tied to that traffique, let vs not bestowe all our hope on a péec [...] we know must stay so long by vs, before we can make pro­fite thereof. Honestie is rather a professed solicitor for a woman, then a counseller to a man: but for that both men and women are troubled with the like diseases, let them [Page] vse my plaster that like best of my knowledge. Where loue strikes the bargaine, their liking cannot start backe, but vnles he be bound by his agréement, affection is a fic­kle fellowe. What surer couenant then setled loue? But they which respect not their worde, will hardly regarde an oathe. Honestie is all, for hee is the father of constancie, and a fig for that loue which must be tied by the lawe. If we foster a snake she will sting vs by the bosome, and hée that sues for an enemie, is worthy to haue his pate broken with want of honestie. A tedious suite makes ritch law­yers and léesing clients, and a desire to haue all, makes vs often to loose all.

I haue heard of a Gentleman, that tied himselfe to a poore maide after the manner aforesaide, meaning to mar­rie with her after the death of his father, for that hée durst not doe it while hée liued. Hée maintained her passing brauely, running himselfe greatly into debt, through the large expenses she lasht out. Which curious and ritch set­ting forth, made many to looke after her, which otherwise would not haue thought on her. A blazing starre presages alteration, as the Astronomers holde it, and doubtles a proper woman gayly apparelled, bréeds miracles in mens mindes. A prancing horse moues wondring, when a sure nagge onely pleaseth the rider; so while shée liued accor­ding to her birth, few or none regarded hir, but now set foorth as readie for sale, her gallantnes engendred thoughts of some great portion, to be fallen by an vnloo­ked for accident. Nor will friends let to speake, to make a friend spéede well, and hire of the same minde gaue forth, that it was so indéede; vpon which reporte many wooers were drawne to trie their fortunes, and amongst them a ritch farmers some set in his foote to hazard his happe. Whome her parents and friends so well liked, being his fathers onely childe, as they began to perswade their daughter to take it while it were offered after this maner. Tut wench (quoth they) while the grasse growes the stéed starues, and as soone goes the young steare, as the [Page] olde ore to the market. Young heads are fickle, and sup­pose he should play false, how should we remedie it? Golde bies lawe now a dayes, and may not a bribe eate vp a sure title, as wee haue heard a fat hog did a poore mans glasse of oyle? He that can giue moste shall be sure to speed best, and you knowe daughter, your father is not able to wage lawe against so ritch an enemie. Why woman, you haue not séene him this fortnight, and how knowe we but he hath a wife in a corner? By our Lady girle, such windefalles happen not often, as is this day put into your mouth. By cock and pie doo as you will, but if you doo refuse this proffer, we will denie you our blessing. Which counsell stroke so déepe into her conscience, as it sent pac­king all the affection her protested loyaltie had promised, and turned it so to the farmers sonne, as in short time hée maried with her.

By that time as my minion had béen married thrée or foure dayes, thither comes posting my out-ioynted Gen­tleman, of whose starke staring mad discontentment vpon the hearing of his willow guift, Honestie lists not to stand, since you can imagine it was great, but what remedie? What wise man would sue for a false-hearted begger, or what gaine should be got by the recouerie of a broken pip­kin? In séeking to haue plagued her, he should haue puni­shed himselfe, adding but shame to the losse of a greater ex­pence, and in the ende recouered a flap with a fore tale. Well I pittie him because of his kindnes which was so crossed, but if Honestie heares of any such kinde asses here­after, he will make as good sporte thereat, as the boyes doo at the foole of a Morrice. Are they not worthie to lie by the héeles that purchase the countertenor with so plaine a pricksong? I warrant you it prict and pincht him too, but his father was the more [...]illing to release him, for that he hopte that losse had gaind him more wit. Honestie could tell you of a thousand that haue béen serued after the same order, they hauing promised to staye one for another, some a yeare, others more or lesse, whereof some haue had their [Page] hope sound within a fortnight of their day, and then think­ing themselues néerest to haue their willes, in come takers pu [...]ing their noses quite besides the swéete sent of their forespoken bedfellowes. This can be no small griefe to a kinde constant heart, that hath peraduenture refused ma­ny good likely hoods to stay for such a light huswife. He that will thinke himselfe sure to a woman, or shee that will build on a mans constancie, till the parish priest hath saide God giue yee ioye, and the brides bed hath borne it first nights w [...]ight, he is not of Honesties minde, though I wish it were otherwise.

It is as good to bee assured of the borne, as to bee made sure to an vnconstant heart, for they that looke for les shall be disappointed. God forbid Honestie should say it were vnpossible, that two may loue constantly vnmarried seuen yeres, but he may aboue that two say, such are scarce found in seauen ages. Walke but to Westminster, a place in faith where constancie is as little vsed, as wit in Bed­lam, and yet there (I warrant you) you shall haue your head filled with tales of vnconstant louers. Goe likewise to Poules (a path as well haunted with hunters of hone­stie, as Kemps head is sometimes pestered with knauerie) and blame Honestie if there you heare not outeries of wa­uering wenches. Long lanes and broade streetes, little cottages and manner places, are at this day by report bol­stred with naught so much as with vnconstant mindes. Whereby what through the sorrowe, Constancies com­plainte moues and the griefe honesties broken pate pro­cures, it is great pittie wée should not haue many knackes to knowe knaues by, and as many Iigges to gird garish girles with. I peticoate laue, is a pocket ful of new fasshi­ons, the drift whereof, is that first commers should be first serued: but they meane no commers which enter not the placket. In Shooleane there is one that selles running lether, the vertue whereof is maintained with liquor of a careles heart, so that hee or shee that cannot play light of loue, shall not be customed there. Withdrawe your selues [Page] to Crooked lane, and of Honesties credite you shall finde more traps to catch Rats and Mice there, then constant louers in S [...]ordich Church at midnight.

What shall I say? since the art of Cony-catching hath forestalled good inuention: but fie on the diuell that driues such wits to so bad a bargaine, as to be forst to spend their time in no better studies. They haue néed of good intelli­gencers that shall intermeddle with trickes of Coning­shifts: for mine own part, I had rather wade to the middle in Loues whirle-poole, then to the anckles in the brooke of vnconstancie. And yet force perforce, by Loues appoynt­ment, I must haue a fling at her followers. Let them flye to the gallowes, for Honestie that loues her so well, and my fling will driue them to a worse place, vnlesse they leaue her. Vp hill and downe hill is a very troublesome labour, but vp the ladder and downe the rope ends many ones miserie. What stéeper way then to the height of of­fection? and how many often post vp and down betwéene that and the valley Likings-recantation. I recant now a daies followes Loues héeles like his shadowe: it is a hal­ting crackhalter, and a hurtfull hinderloue, and best he shall be knowne by his stumpe foote. I meane not a misha­penledge, but a resting loue, that either makes such a full poynt in the beginning, as he can goe no further, or els stands at a stay two or thrée quarters, not knowing whe­ther it were best to goe forwards or backwards. Ex­treames are as daungerous as stretches: for as many ioynts are out-set or crackt by the one, so many vncurable hurts are receiued by the other. Honestie thinkes a seuen nights space is too short a time to fasten a true louers knot, but he that out stayes y^• moneth may learne as much in that time as is néedfull to be knowne. A longer time is pleasing to them that haue barres to hinder their forward­nes, but he that may goe on without hinderances, if hée aimes at a longer respite, take it on Honesties word, hée workes but vpon aduantage. They that build their affec­tion vpon reason, are like to remaine most constant: for [Page] where a condition of profite binds the sutors, there a long day will not likely be broken. But this reason craues wisedome, the experience whereof must a waite on Loues followers, the pr [...]ctise being nothing but this, a care in our choyce to maintaine the maine chaunce. That is, that they which haue little, doe fancie none but such as haue somewhat, and they that haue nothing, either to match with such as haue enough to serue themselues and others, or els to fit still in the chimney corner. Al must measure their liking according to the depth of their desire, to the end they may liue with contentment, which will (I warrant you) nourish constancie.

Now followeth another sort, which are not the least e­nemies Loue hath, being our common courting lads, who take such pleasure in their pregnant wits, and so great glorie in their readie tongues, as a wench cannot péepe forth the doores, but they must haue a fling at her beautie. First comes, faire ladie God saue you, and then followes, that the sight of such a blazing Commet makes them stand at the gaze, for that such sights are seldome séene. After en­sues their application, falling from the celestiall creatures to their earthly Goddesses, extolling their beauties to such a height, as when they can goe no further, hauing forgot­ten their way backwards, they fall downe headlong, brea­king the necke of Good reason. Then come they to the good parts of their bodies, and from thence to a supernatu­rall view of their hidden vertues, building vpon the pro­uerbe, A faire face cannot haue a crabbed heart, though ma­ny of them find by experience, but crabbed entertainment to procéede from those their celestial obiects: yet the most, what through their quicke conceipts, false protestations and vsuall resorting into their companies, bring many in­to such a fooles paradice, as they harpe on nothing but ma­riage. And maruell not, séeing we haue many so forward wenches, that if a man looke but earnestly vpō them, they thinke verely, hee is inamoured of their beautie: but shal he speake and say he loues them? my father, my mother [Page] and all my friends must be made priuie to his procéedings, for I know he will haue me.

Alas light hearts that are lead away with euery kinde blast: know ye not that our age flowes with fine wits, that must borrow their practise of such like patients? Doe not many men cheapen that meane not to buy, & think you to want such customers? How many come into a Faire with neuer a farthing in their purses, and yet for fashion sake will aske the price of a costly péece of worke? Our tongues stand vs in little charges for reparations, and séeing they weare not, we will not spare to wagge them. But this is best knowne to you women, whom nature bindes to the greatest practice, hauing giuen you no other weapon; yet I may tell you, men cannot want that in­strument, especially in their wooing matters. But did many of both kindes vse it lesse, both you and they should spéede neuer the worse, for you should misse of many fond faithles spéeches, and they should march without as many kinde hit home floutes. They should not playing with the fire, be burnt with the flame, and remaine helples through your careles pitie: nor should you be intrapt in the snares of their smoothe words, decreasing your glorious beauty by hopeles conceites of obtaining your withed happines.

Many honest mindes taken at their words, are bound to bad bargaines, when on the contrarie part, a crackt cre­dit regardes neither his own reputation or anothers wel­fare. How easte is a frée horse tired, a good edge-toole spoy­led, and a kinde heart surfeited? Adull iade will rather be spurde to death then breake his pace: and with a bad knife we may assay to cut any thing, without dooing it much harme, but woe bee vnto that heart, whose mildenes makes it selfe subiect to a counterfeit kindnes. You shall sighe forth your sorrow, while they smile at their good suc­cesse, they building their assurance of being no losers on your good dispositions, that serue for stables, to rest their hopes in: your good natures must bée but roumes for hack­nies that neuer knowe their masters, and your kinde [Page] hearts to serue for mangers to féede their had conceites. Their trotting shall fasten to your heads [...]eapes of pro­clamations, the clauses whereof shall bréede thousand of doubted miseries and ten thousands of carefull heartbrea­kings. Their counterfeit frendship shall hinder faithfull and louing procéedings, hurting affection by hindring it from it desarte, with kéeping it from receiuing the due of requitall. That bootles constancie shall banish faithfull loyaltie by crabbed crosses, and purchase to it self, through a haples conclusion a cart-loade of carefull extremities. True-meaning thereby shall be deceaued on both sides, and kind-heartednes plagued with ouer-sureset affecti­on. Loue shal be banded away with the racket of dissinm­lation, and beaten at last into the hazard Despaire by his sporting enemie. What a great losse will followe such a chase, and how great expence of hearts griefe, must ensue so shroude a game, gesse you that lie condemned in the like charges? Onely Honestie pitties such a pastime that ends with so smal pleasure, and wil now come to giue you war­ning of what he hath séene happen in the like cases of little conscience.

There was one of this societie that had so courted vp a wench, as through a potion of pleasure he had giuen her, her belly rose like a blowne bladder. Belly round she was, so that through his craft her credit stoode vpon cracking, which she perceauing entreated her phisition, that as hée had tasted of her curtesie, so he would saue her honestie, de­claring that she was with childe as the truth was. Of my faith (quoth he) what care I? You might haue tooke bet­ter heede, you are best to make haste and get a father for it. I hope (answered she) you will not serue me so: are these your faire promises, and can your vowes bee so slightly passed ouer? Haue you not made loue to me by the space of a quarter, being vsed kindly of mee, and can you finde in your heart thus cruelly to requite my extraordinarie fa­uour, putting me to shiftes in this extremitie? Is it possi­ble your professed whot loue should be so soone cold, or that [Page] your large promises should turne to so little performance▪ I cannot thinke you being a man can be so cruell, as to cast away a poore maiden. Away beast (quoth he) thy perswa­sions are as bootles as thy thoughts, and I am assured thou art not so foolish as to build of any thing I haue saide, or of that I haue done but as of a iest, if thou doost, it will be a bad foundation, and with that he flong forth of the dores, leauing my maimed-maide in a bad taking.

Doe you tearme such dooing iesting? thought Honestie, if Chaucers iapes were such iestes, it was but bad sporte; well a sporte it was, though it proued a sure earnest, and who knowes not that swéete meates craue sowre sauce? Her laughing lye-downe, came to sad rising-vp a shrewde sporte to turne to such sorrie p [...]stime, and if such an ear­nest penny cannot binde a bargaine, nought wil holde the like chapmen but a halier. Now Tiborne and Wapping waite on such for Porters, as post to markets, so to iest with lac'st-mutton. If saying had béen all, shee had béene foolish indéede to haue regarded a fooles spéeches, but séeing he crept so farre into credit with her, as he crackt her plac­ket lace, how could he of conscience call that iesting? Doth Honestie talke of conscience to B [...]ls bailiffes, that haue no care of any thing but to saue their cassokes from being his purchase? Now fie of all the Beadles of Bridewell, if they spare such a sporter comming vnder their correction, with­out double the dole they punish one of Baals common Priests with. I would their blewe coates might fall to be Hindes fées, vnlesse they giue such foure lustie lashes at e­uery kennell and stréets corner they passe by. Why vn­der the cloake of honest satisfaction, to allure an honest minde to lewde corruption, is no lesse thefte then robbing of Churches, onely the Clarkes consent seemes in the one to craue some tolleration ouer it doth in the other. Then you will say they deserue both to be hanged, and so would Honestie say, but that their christianity merites charitie. But of my troth if Honestie were a Iustice, such as sue af­ter the selfesame order, should either marrie with thē they [Page] haue deceiued, or hang without them, my minion going vnpunished for that time in hope of amendment. Loue is a kinde hart, and mariage is a swéete baire what then will not such promises gaine of a faithfull louer? This iesting turnes to lingeing loue, when the weakest hath surfeited in affection. Swéet spéeches haue vowed euerlasting con­stancie, and running in the pleasant meddowe of kindenes it growes lustie, spending the remnant of his wooing to winne vnto such bad fare: courting endes with such a charge, changing professed loue into burning lust. Loue lookes to be maintained with kindenes, and when he hath got what wordes can affoorde, then falles he to iesting, which turns contrary to Chaucers meaning, to y^• satisfying of a leachers lust in earnest. But too too much of this, ex­cept it were better, and once more returne we to our me­l [...]ncholly lefte mardemaide.

She poore soule set so lightly by in her fortie wéekes reckoning, so thought on her present hard hap, as she quite forgot her accompt, wherby now she was in a worse takīg then before: for if being put to her othe, she should misse of that, his counter othe would make but a so so end for her, and therefore thus she bestirred her selfe in the matter. She made her case knowne to a fréend, and falling downe vpon her knées, entreated him for the passion of our Lady to stand good helpe vnto her, to draw her mate to marry with her. Who being a very honest man y^• had some care of her credit, laboured so effectually in y^• matter, as what through promises and a peece of money, he made it a match, so that what through a little honestie my man was endued with, and a peece of money my maiden was en­dowed with, we had a choptlodgicke. Now woe vnto such wooed spouses, if their mates want altogether honestie, and they haue no money, and this might haue perchaunce wonne the standing in a white shéete without so good a maister. Take héede girles how you trust to such helpes, for Honestie can tell you they are not ordinarie. It is har­der to finde one such in euery parishe through a Countrie, [Page] then to finde a honest woman in a house of Westmin­sters Hospitalitie. Alas how many honest mens children come to decay through this practise? Talke with any cor­rupted Virgine, and excepting one amongst twentie, if they all not agrée that such enticements were the procu­rers of their miserie, neuer beléeue Honestie for a halfepen­nie. Beware if a rich mariage be offered for a rewarde of breache of honestie, there are fewe that will not consent to leacherie with such briberie.

But the opening of an other wound remaines, with which loue is hurt by his courting enemies, for they which haue beene once deceiued by flatterie, will hardly be drawen to beléeue sinceritie, whereby the faithfull su­tor is hindred from his due. The beaten dogge shuns the stick, the tormēted patient feares the Pothecaries drugs, the childe that hath béene sore whipt for a fault, will feare by offending to hazard his bréeche. Who is more warie of his welfare, then he that hath béen in greatest extremi­tie? and if loue hath béen wounded with a dissembled affec­tion, he will be afraide to enter into an action from whence the like sorrowe may flowe. What giues greater hope of constanice, then vowed loyalty? or what séemes swéeter then sugered flatterie? Affection springeth of kinde v­sage, and loue settles on a continued shewe of professed zeale, which being sure set, cānot be remoued w^tout great danger, except wisedome be a helper. What sorrowe dan­ger brings, and what care discontentment harboureth he knowes not? But of the vnceasing harts-gréefe with the tormenting soure-sauce which seasoneth the destruction of entire affection, none can iudge, saue those that haue tasted thereof: onely it may be imagined by y^• effects that haue followed the like causes (as by the vntimely death it hath brought to some, a depriuation of their wits to others, lan­guishing diseases to many, namely, the gréene sicknes, the mother, and such like: and lastly, to ali mad melancholye fits) that they which are fauoured with the least mishap that comes through want of their longing, are rewarded [Page] with the losse of a present wel-fare, hauing that supplyed by a gifte of sighing heauines. Now after y^• fréedome from such a mischéefe, who will not sweare to flie from the like danger? And since flatterie cannot without dangerous triall be knowen from faithfull fréendship, who will not shunne both, fearing to mistake the one for the other? If a kinde hart hath béene deceiued by a crooked knaue, clad in the robes of a courteous louer, she will euer after mistrust the habite, for that it is vnpossible to know the hart. Who can forbid the Tailor to vse his arte? and doo you thinke that any one for an aduantage will let to trie his crafte? The Diuell can change himselfe into any shape, and the onely meanes to knowe him (as is saide before) is his stumpe foote.

Liking wil not be long a dooing, and loue that followes is but little, whereby he brings no great harme, but al the mischéefe comes with desire, which swelles the affecti­ons, and predominates ouer loue and liking: he makes the mis-rule and kéeps the open Christmas, he desires the sporte, and main [...]ines the pastime, so that though he be long in comming, and staies but little in his Lordship, yet the remembrance of his iolitie is not forgotten a long time after. He kéepes his custome euery yéere, and a yéere with him is but a short space, so that after he comes to his full age, he makes many Christmasses: for Desire is not short liued. It is therefore this lingring loue that dooth all the harme, because by him Desire is onely begotten. He that beating the market is willing to buye, will not stand long a bargaining, when he hath met with his liking, for feare a francker customer steppe betwéene him and his longing: but if he be careles, he will not deale without a good penniworth. Very easily then is the mischéefe of re­pentance taken from women, séeing a true-meaning su­tor may be as quickly discerned, as a careles chapman may be perceiued. And how fondly doo they entrude them­selues into the néedles hazard of great discontent, that will let their loue runne so farre without reason, as it [Page] cannot be called backe without great gréefe at the least. Though a buyer be not able to giue the seller his asking, yet will he be earnest to haue it at such a price as he doth offer, and although this louing customer be not of abilitie to answere thy fréends expectation, yet shall he not be for­ward to be possessed of thée? he is but a watcher for aduan­tages. So that if either his abilitie be such as of himselfe he can maintaine thée, or be thy possibilitie so great, as by his good endeuour he may winne a liuing, thy fréends good will by the possession of thée, thy affection is too too colde, if thou kéepes him lingring without his longing, and his de­uotion is small, if he be not an vnceasing sutor for it.

And truely in Honesties minde (and pardon me I pray you with whose conceipts it iumpes not) those matches shall prosper best, where lone is rather respected then wealth: prouided there be a care had of the likelyhoode of possibilitie which must come with one of them. But shall one that hath nothing ioyne louing issue with an other that hath or is like to haue as little, he hauing no meanes to make a liuing, he shewes himself to be afoolish follower of repentance, and an vncharitable procurer of an others wretchednes? There are many good wits, that wanting matter to worke on, wade into the triall of dangerous conclusions, which otherwise being imployed would be­come profitable members of a common wealth. All can­not be heires, and many yonger brothers children are but barely left, though they haue had good bringing vp, which nothing hinders their gentrie, onely now a daies it is a barre to their preferment. For men wil sooner match their daughters with my yong maister arich Coblers Sonne, though they be their heires, then with a Gentleman of a good house being a yonger Brother. Héerby comes the de­cay of a ancient gentilitie, and this y^• making of vpstart houses; héerby those that haue had good bringing vp, must either goe to plough and carte, being drudges to such drones, or their natures, disdaining that, and more abhor­ring to begge, leade them to lewde practises to maintaine [Page] the state of their birth. And did you Fathers which are to match your Children, know the hart-breakings many parents (which haue béene of your mindes) haue found by triall, then would the feare of vnciuill behauiour, which springeth by succession from their carterly progenitors, turne your gréedie desire of golden gaine to a ioyfull gai­ning of your posterities happines.

But fie of couetousnes that is the roote of all mischiefe: for men that haue enough to make their Daughters Gen­tlewomen, by matching them with houses of no small an­tiquitie, will, with the desire they haue therevnto, wooe men of great liuing with large offers, to match their sons and heires with them. Who being drawen therunto, will vse them their wiues mée [...]ly well during the life time of their owne and wiues Fathers, for that their estates are by their great portions better maintained, and their best fréends thereby well pleased. But let your Daugh­ters beware after your and their Fathers death (when all hope is taken away of a further gaine, and a search made of their auncestors alliance) for then seeing the basenes of your pettigrée, and y^• noble descents of their predecessors, that corruption of blood which you with your corrup­tion of money hath made, and their Fathers couetousnes hath purchased to their succession, will (as for the most parte it doth in the like cases) moue such hartbreakinges, as either quarrelles of diuorcement or sutes of separation will surely followe. When on the contrary parte, if re­specting gentrie, thereby to aduaunce your houses, you would match thē with Gent. yonger brothers (of whom there ought to be lesse regarde, the chiefe house being maintained) your Daughters portions, being the onely maintenance of their estates, would be so strong a helpe to encrease their affection towards your children, with pur­chased happines to their posterities, as knowing no hous­holde quarrelles can be without charges, they will be glad to studie to encrease the swéetenes of vnitie, thereby to continue euerlasting prosperitie to their following ages.

Honestie knowes what the fairing-monger will saye, when he shall heare of one so flat against his opi­nion touching mariages, not letting to affirme that it is most necessarie that the consent of parents should be last sued for, and little regarded in respect of loue, especiallye séeing his Pamphlet buildes so diuinelye on farre-fetcht arguments, to proue the contrarie. Therfore to preuent him, and to prouide against the great danger their matches-making procure, Honestie must tell him and assure all those that are of his minde, that were the worlde like vnto that wherein Abraham liued, or were Fathers of these daies of his disposition, his argument drawen from the gift of Euah to Adam by God and such like might séeme to proue some thing. But séeing these times in effect are quite contrary to those, and the disposi­tions of men in our daies, altogether disagréeing to theirs of that age, his time had béene better spent in a worke to some other purpose. For a little to séeme to flie from my matter, and to haue a fling at him; how many Fathers now a daies are there so carefull of prouiding conuenient mates for their children at a seasonable time, as our great Grandfather Abraham was? Againe, how ma­nye haue children that are so obedient to bend their loue to their Parents liking as was Isaac? Oh Sir, you are de­ceaued, our yong ones are of riper wits, and far forwar­der then Children were in those daies, and our olde ones are of more couetous mindes and far forwarder to be drawen to their childrens good: for what greater good then to enioye them they loue? and what will offend our parents more then to entreat that? he sent his seruant to search forth one of his next kinne, not to enquire after one that had most wealth, and should some children entertaine no loue in our time vntill their parents procured it, nor sue for a match before their fréends made it, it were requi­site their honestie should be great, or I knowe what will follow. Yet againe, Fathers liue not now adaies ordina­rily aboue a hundred yéeres, whereby they haue a long la­sting [Page] gouernement ouer their Children, but beholde it is far contrary, and therefore it requires contrary procée­dings. And lastly, (for that I will not be long at this time in this matter) the holy writ beares not such sway in our consciences, as it workt wonders in theirs of those daies, and therefore to helpe our weaknes in the want of that warrant we must vse the meanes, loue, to drawe vs to that euerlasting happines.

But once more to my courting companions to make as spéedie an end with them, whose haire-braine fancying and fickle affection, is no small hindrance to loues procée­dings. Honestie hauing set downe the meanes to finde out their knauerie, hath also prouided a batte to beate downe such flatterie, the instrument to finde out their dissimula­tion, being a search into their lingring, and the clubbe to match their clubbe féete, a loathing of their company. But to come to the punishment I would haue such to be pla­gued with, in my opinion, and by Honesties doome, they are worthie to be set for scarre-crowes in newe sowen fieldes; and the rather thus goes my iudgement, for that séeing they are so skilfull to doo harme in townes and ci­ties, if that bad-used wit were forst to be imployed about that commodious doo-good, they would inuent excellent meanes to preuent the spoyle the rauenous birds commit. Their pregnant wits and cunning deuices to catch wo­mens affections that farre excéede crowes in reason and discretion, confirme they would be strange, and therefore profitable; yet because it is somewhat too bace, though their practises are as beastly, I will ende with them with this resolution. That they are as worthie to stand in white-shéetes in Churches, for leauing women in despe­rate cases, hauing drawen them into that fooles paradice of ouer-passionate affection, as they that poyson stran­gers bellies: This would make faithfull sutors happie, constant louers ioyfull, and conrting dissemblers feareful.

Honestie, hauing noted these enormities harbored in lewde dispositions shuffled into this Morrice, at last lent [Page] his eares, and bestowed his eyes, ioyning with him his best vnderstanding to search into the natures of y^• remnant, to see whether y^• multitud were mixed with these in bad con­ceits. But behold so contrarie practizes were performed by them, as those procéedings are disagréeing to the furthe­rance of perfect vnitie. Amongst these did I beholde Loue dandled with swéete musick, and constant affection vphol­ [...]n with modest demeanour. The soueraignes of Vir­ginitie displayed their heauenly dignitie, by the imperiall colours of matchles beautie, grounde with the Ambrosian oyle of celestiall courtesie; and the matronly deities pro­ued their ethereall discréetnes, in following the heauens prescriptiō for Loues true imitation. I saw Kindenes mat­ched w^t Goodwill, Affection lin [...]ed vnto Liking, & Loue embraced with Loyaltie, Vertue leading thē to eternall happines. They liked not for a moment, loued not vpon aduantage, nor wooed but with a good intention. These shaked not hands with hatefull hearts, nor vsed smoothe tongues with dissembling thoughts. They courted not kindely, to corrupt shamefully, ne protested with vowes, to wound with wordes, and kill with déeds, but hand and heart went together, and the tongue vttered their passio­nate conceites, their heart louing them as faithfully as their tongue labored to winne their courtesie. And you no earthly creatures, though ioyned with men for their eter­nall good, (you heauenly saints I meane, masking in the shadowes of terrestriall shapes) you beautifie this crue with your deuine motions, whose mindes ar [...] onely inrit­ched with the true wisdome that vpholdes Loues welfare. Your sacred actions, ayde his simple followers, & naught but your carefull kindnes binds mens weake affections from vnconstancie. You make their praiers effectuall, their request gayning through you the safetie of their lon­ging. Your pittie brings them to pietie, and your almes relieues them from the captiuitie of Despaire. Destressed Honestie is soly harbored within your milke-white bo­somes, and were it not for your bountifull charitie, his end [Page] would be tormenting beggerie. Your allablaster pappes do wholy minister moisture to my consuming welfare, and from their sugered teates doe I onely drawe my liquor of life, so that by your motherly kindnes to decaying Hone­stie, they reape likewise their blisse, that would giue mée my baine, recouering contrarie to their wils the remayn­der of their weale. For how marcheth the passionate soul­dier without you sound the alarome of his good-spéede? or how fareth the amorous gallant, except you play the gal­liard of acceptance? Vnfortunate eyes, your pearcing fightes shal be cruelly curst, and vnnaturall vsage shall be offered to your obedient hearts, for séeing and adoring ce­lestiall obiects, vnles their relenting pittie take mercie on your destressed abiects. And blaspheming tongue, thy vn­bridled impudencie shall heape vpon thy owne back a bun­dle of vntollerable miseries, by being forced to vtter exe­crable slaunders against them for their hard hearts, that were purchased to worke your hard happe through your owne iniurious follie. Passions of discontent must please your fancies, and sorrowfull poems must grace your mu­sick; déep sighes must straine your heart-strings, and dire­full sorrowe lull you a sléepe, when visions of new destres­ses must disquiet your greatest happines, and dreames of fresh vexations forbid you the least ease. You shall suc in vaine, because you haue delighted in vanitie, and hope without obtaining, for that your heart haue harbored dis­sembling, except these goddesses, whose goodnes is vnspeak­able, vouchsafe to minister a plaster of pitty to your louing pietie. It is their courtesie that must make you chereful, and their good conceits must cherish your dying mirth; their liking must honour your affection, and their grate­full kindnes must aduance the zeale of your protested loy­altie. It is in their choyse to change your chance, and in their power to bridle Fortune, for that the Fates, being their sisters, are at their calles to set downe your desti­nies. If they say they doe hate you, beware, for they can hurt you, but if they affirme they loue you, striue to con­tinue [Page] your present happines, and feare to lose the proffered blessednes. Why are women accounted weake, but be­cause their nature is pure? Or wherefore are they ne­cessarie but that men cannot liue without their companie? When we are succorles they comfort vs, being melancho­ly they chéere vs, and they are the meanes to redéeme vs from the gates of hell. Being mad, their musicall tongues chase away the euill spirits, being bewitched their loue charmes the tormenting diuels, and being swal­lowed vp by the gulfe licentiousnes, the heauens haue cre­ated thē the helpe to redéeme vs from that hellish furnace.

Thus much for their power, & now a little of their pro­perties. O sacred mercie (neuer more honored then in the pittifull bosomes of these feminine deities) thou holds thy chief harborow within their passionate besomes, & only art nourished in their relenting harts. Thou singst within the closets of their pittifull consciences, & reioycest within the castles of their celestiall soules: thou liuest with them secure, and makes through them multitudes of miserable wretches possessors of the highest happines. Thou beares the sighes of suing swéet-hearts, & comforts the pinching griefe of pining louers. Thou meditates of their vowes, and studies to requite their carefull affection with kindest curtesie. Thou pittiest the foolish maladies of fond noui­ces, & sorrowest at the weaknes of many mens wisdome. Thou striuest to do no wrong, that thou maist be frée from iniurie, and labours to shunne suspect, that thou maist bee without misdoubt. Thou studiest to repay that thou maist reape thy due, and kéepest thy day that thou maist bee well dealt with. Yea much more and so much the better for man, thou pitties them that would spoile thée, and forgiues them that would hurt thée: thou wishest them well that would dereaue thée of thy weale, & louest them (which is thy on­ly fault) ouer entirely that estéeme of thy proffered kind­nes too too carelesly. Yet let discretiō haue the second place with you, for she guides them by reason, and that gouerns men with wisdome. She knowes when to charme with [Page] swéete melodie, and when to correct with louing perswa­sions: she vseth to dandle vertue, and reproue vice, to em­brace good and flie from euill, and willingly to subiect obe­dient imitation to holsome counsell, as also dutifully to desire libertie from stooping to iniurious doctrine. Shee searcheth into the depth of subiected seruise, and discoue­ring whether it be offered of curtesie, or proffered of kna­uerie, regards it according to it value, and rewardes it with it full worth. She teacheth to like ere they loue, and louing to encrease or deminish the heate of their fancie, ac­cording to the proportion of kinde coales that nourisheth the fire of their affection. She perswadeth to launce, cour­ting to the bones, to finde out the danger, and séeing what likelyhoode either of weale or woe is likest to ensue, thée sheweth them what is good to withdrawe the putrified li­king, and what is holsome to preserue the sound loue. And she studies to make them happie, by wishing men their welfare, to make them constant, by endeuoring to en­crease a sparke of loyaltie, and to make them honored by instructing them in the true rules of modestie.

And now step in further thou beautifying modestie; for thou addest no small renoune to their adored natures, nor doth thy bashfulnes meanely adorne their highly pri­sed excellencies: thy rosie blusshes bring no small honor to their admired beauty, nor euer dies that sacred stayning colour, vntil by mans corruption, that maidenly marke be extinguished. Yet then (but ah that man should do so much) thy decent sobrietie aduanceth the dignity of their woman­ly chastitie, and thy matronly behauiour displayeth the so­ueraintie of their motherly nurture. Thou giues examples that imitated, preuent occasions of enticing offers to draw to folly, and escapes the iniurious slanders of suspitions searchers, y^• hunt after shewes of sensuality. Thou main­tainest peace at home, escapest suspect abroade, and keepest thy louers heart from harboring ielousie, the chiefe procu­rer of greatest miserie. And thou gainest liking and en­creasest affection, receiuing loue and loyaltie with an assu­red [Page] pledge of neuer-dying constancie. Neither art thou euerlasting goddes, a stranger to mens-helpers; for thou withall the vertues waite vpon these beautiful spectacles, and they with the Graces extol those the earths miracles. Their praises are vnspeakeable, for that their worth is vn­ualuable, and their desartes vnrequited, because through mans weakenes misprised; but such and so great were the adorned excellencies of these humaine deities, as their practises layde open their princely courtesie, and their per­formances made their louers happie. And men reioyced through their faithfull affection, studying to requite wo­mens euerlasting kindnes with the reward of neuer-cea­sing constancie. Men vsed heauenly wisdome to obtaine liking, and carefull behauior, to confirme loue being purchased, and women were forward to bestowe modest kindnes, being faithfully dealt withall, and effectually re­quited proffered curtesie, neither being too too coye, or shewing themselues ouer forward to be wonne. But brief­ly, and so to end, euery one of them rendred like for like with proofes of neuer-altering affection, they thereby gaining vnto themselus the sugred swéetnes of cele­stiall amitie, & tying vnto their kinde thoughts, the affections of their well-willers, with euerlasting constancie.