((A LETTER TO A NOBLE LORD, ETC. MY LORD,)) I AM INDUCED TO THE LIBERTY OF THIS ADDRESS, ON HAVING LATELY BEEN AT THE REPRESENTATION OF A FARCE, CALLED MISS LUCY IN TOWN, SUPPOSED TO BE WROTE BY MR((.)) FIELDING. AS TO THE WIT OR HUMOUR OF THE PIECE, I AM ENTIRELY SILENT, BUT CON-+ GRATULATE / THE POET ON HIS HAPPY GENIUS; WHICH THO' THE LEGISLATURE SEVERELY CHECK'D ON ITS DARING TO SUCCEED IN A REPRESENTA-+ TION / ON THE PRINCIPLE OF LIBERTY, PASQUIN;

YET IT NOW, LIKE A PHOENIX, RISES OUT OF ITS OWN ASHES, AND CONVINCES THE WORLD, THAT IT IS NOT CONFINED TO THE LEWDNESS OF LI-+ BERTY, / BUT CAN EQUALLY SHINE AND BE AP-+ PROVED / IN THE CHASTENESS OF GALLANTRY. PASQUIN, YOUR G- KNOWS, PAINTED LIBERTY IN A FAVOURABLE LIGHT, AND COR-+ RUPTION / IN A MOST CONTEMPTIBLE AND VICIOUS ONE. IT HAD SOME INFAMOUS INUENDO'S OF A STRONG BOX LEFT IN THE CARRIAGE, I THINK DROP'D IN THE DEPTHS OF THE SEA. THE TWO FIRST ALARMED THE LATE MINISTRY; (OF THE DEAD, MY LORD, I SPEAK NO ILL, THO' IT MIGHT NOT OFFEND YOUR G- , AS YOUR SWEET COMPLAISANCE CAN DRAW WITH, OR CONVENIENTLY WITHDRAW FROM ANY MINISTRY) AND THE LAST CALLED FOR VENGEANCE FROM AN ALL-BURNING PRIESTHOOD. - PERHAPS YOUR LORDSHIP MAY NOT COMPREHEND THE LI-+ CENTIOUSNESS / OF THE POET'S WIT AS TO THE STRONG BOX: IT WAS INDEED MYSTERIOUS, VERY MYSTERIOUS, AND FOR THAT REASON GAVE OF-+ FENCE / TO THE CRAFTSMEN OF MYSTERIES. THIS COMPLICATED CRY AGAINST THE PIECE, WISELY INDUCED THE LAST PARLIAMENT TO PASS AN ACT BY WAY OF AMENDMENT TO THE ((12TH)) OF QUEEN ANNE, WHICH SUBJECTED ALL PLAY-+ ERS /

FOR GAIN, UNLESS DULY AUTHORIZED, TO A PECUNIARY PUNISHMENT, AND ON FAILURE OF PAYMENT, TO BE SENT TO THE HOUSE OF CORRECTION AS COMMON VAGABONDS. THE ACT WENT FURTHER, AND PROHIBITED THE RE-+ PRESENTATION / OF ANY NEW INTERLUDE, TRAGEDY, COMEDY, OR FARCE, UNLESS A COPY WAS SENT FOURTEEN DAYS, AT LEAST, BEFORE THE ACTING, TO THE LORD CHAMBERLAIN FOR THE TIME BEING; AND A NEGATIVE POWER WAS VESTED IN HIM TO PROHIBIT THE REPRESENTATION; AND THE ACTING IT AGAINST HIS PROHIBITION, SUBJECTED THE ACTOR TO THE LIKE FORFEITURE AND PUNISH-+ MENT / AS ABOVE. THIS ACT, MY LORD, WAS APPROVED BY COURTIERS AND PLACEMEN, AND ALL THE SOBER PART OF THE CITIES OF LON-+ DON / AND WESTMINSTER. THE FIRST HUG'D THEM-+ SELVES / IN SECURITY, THAT THEIR WILDEST AND MOST KNAVISH SCHEMES WOULD BE SECURED FROM THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE MANY; AND THE LAST CONCLUDED THEY MIGHT SAFELY PER-+ MIT / THEIR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS TO GO AD LIBITUM AND INDISCRIMINATELY TO COMEDY OR TRAGEDY, WITHOUT ANY DANGER OF HAVING THEIR MINDS DEBAUCHED WITHIN THE THEATRE, OR THEIR BLOOD FERMENTED TO UNCHASTE DE-+ SIRE, / IN CONSEQUENCE OF ANY PERFORMANCES ON THE STAGE. THE LAST WERE MORE PECU-+ LIARLY / AND TEMPORALLY HAPPY, AS THE GRAND-+ SON /

OF THAT PIOUS AND MOST RELIGIOUS KING CHARLES ((II.)) WAS TO HAVE THE IMMEDIATE DI-+ RECTION; / I THINK, MY LORD, IT WAS THE WISDOM OF THE CLERGY OF HIS REIGN TO FIX SUCH APT AND PROPER EPITHETS TO HIS NAME, SO EXACTLY CONSONANT TO HIS MIND AND ACTIONS. YOUR CHARACTER, IN PUBLIC AND PRIVATE LIFE, HAS SUCH AN EXACT CONFORMITY TO HIS, THAT EXCEPT IN HIS WIT, HIS RELIGION, AND HIS POWER, I DEFY THE NICEST DISTINGUISHER TO POINT OUT THE DIFFERENCE. HIS CHASTITY, HIS FAITH TO HIS PROMISES, HIS TOIL IN SOME BUSINESSES, (I PRESUME THE DUKE OF BUCK-+ INGHAM, / WHO DREW HIS CHARACTER, MEANT IN HIS CHAMBERINGS, AND FOX-CHACES) SHINE REMARKABLY IN YOUR G- . BUT ABOVE ALL, HIS LOVE OF HIS COUNTRY, AND GENERAL BENE-+ VOLENCE, / IS YOUR DISTINGUISHING CHARACTER. HOW OFTEN, MY LOR, HAVE APPLAUDING THEATRES SEEN AND ADMIRED YOUR NURSING VIGILANCE OVER THAT SACRED PERSON, ON WHOM NOT ONLY THE HAPPINESS OF THREE NATIONS DEPENDS, BUT THE PARADE OF NU-+ MEROUS / FLEETS, AND THE VERY BEING OF ARMIES, ARMIES OF DANES, ARMIES OF HESSIANS, PRUSSIANS, POLES, CROATIANS; IN SHORT, ARMIES OF MORE NATIONS THAN

EVER CAESAR TRIUMPH'D OVER. THESE QUA-+ LITIES / RENDER YOU THE ADMIRATION AND ESTEEM OF ALL THAT SEE YOU, AND, NO DOUBT, DETERMINED THE LEGISLATURE TO VEST IN YOU THIS TRIBUNITIAL POWER OVER PLAYERS AND POETS. HAPPY FOR THIS KINGDOM IF YOUR SUCCESSORS ARE EQUALLY QUALIFIED! SINCE THIS ACT TOOK PLACE, MANY TRA-+ GEDIES, / SOME SONGS, AND SOME PROLOGUES AND EPILOGUES HAVE BEEN REFUSED. POETS WILL TALK OF LIBERTY AND PROPERTY, THO' PERHAPS THEY HAVE NEITHER: THAT SACRED LOVE OF ARBITRARY POWER IN KINGS; THAT RAPACIOUSNESS SO FREQUENT IN MINISTERS; AND A VICIOUSNESS NOT UNUSUAL IN COURTS, AND MANY SUCH SCENES HAVE BEEN ATTEMPT-+ ED / TO BE EXHIBITED TO PUBLIC VIEW, SINCE YOUR DRAMATIC ADMINISTRATION; - YOU WELL KNEW THE DANGER OF THEM, AND OUT OF LOVE TO THE PUBLIC, WISELY DENIED THEM YOUR LICENCE, WHEN LO! THE TOWN HAS BEEN TEAZ'S AND PESTER'D WITH SUBSCRIP-+ TIONS, / AND THE POETS, INSTEAD OF RUN-+ NING/ A PROBABLE RISQUE OF BEING DAMN-+ ED / ON THE STAGE, HAVE BEEN SAVED AND ADMIRED IN THE CLOSET. SO RETROGRADE AND PERVERSE IS HUMAN NATURE, THAT I VERILY

BELIEVE IF THE PARSONS WOULD JOIN IN DE-+ FAMING / OUR RELIGION, WE SHOULD HAVE MORE RELIGION AMONGST US. YOU, MY LORD, HAVE WISELY JUDGED, THAT THE REMEMBRANCE OF LIBERTY FREQUENTLY DINN'D IN THE PEOPLE'S EARS MIGHT MAKE THEM GIDDY, AND DREAM OF STRANGE THINGS, AS IF IT WAS IN IMMINENT DANGER; AND CORRUPTION IS SO ESSENTIAL TO THIS FLOURISHING NATION, THAT SHOULD IT FALL IN DISREPUTE, OUR BUROUGHS MIGHT BE RECONCILED TO COM-+ MON / SENSE, AND COMMON HONESTY, TWO PRINCIPLES SO VERY MALIGNANT, AS MIGHT BE FATAL TO ALL MINISTERS PRESENT AND TO COME, WITH SOME REGARD TO ONE THAT IS NOW PAST. MINISTERARCHY IS THE VERY SOUL OF OUR PRESENT CONSITUTION, EQUAL ALMOST TO MO-+ NARCHY, / AND ANY REPROACH TO THE ONE IS AS UNREASONABLE, AND OF AS WICKED A TEN-+ DENCY / AS TO THE OTHER. IT IS TRUE, FRAN-+ CIS / THE FIRST PERMITTED THE DRAMATIC WRITERS OF HIS TIME TO RIDICULE HIM-+ SELF, / HIS MINISTER, AND NOBLES; BUT MONARCHS AND MINISTERS NOW-A-DAYS ARE OTHER KIND OF PEOPLE, AND NOT ON A FOOT-+ ING / WITH FRANCIS THE FIRST, AND HIS COURT.

YOU HAVE A MUCH GREATER RULE IN FAVOUR OF YOUR CONDUCT, THE OLD ROMANS, WHO ARE REPROACHED FOR PERMITTING THEIR POETS TO RIDICULE AND SATIRIZE THEIR GODS; BUT IF THEY TOOK THE SAME LIBERTY WITH THE MA-+ GISTRATE, / THEY WERE PUNISHED WITH DEATH. SUCH SUBJECTS BELONG CHIEFLY TO TRAGEDY, AND FEW ENTERTAINMENTS OF THAT KIND, SINCE THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE ACT, HAVE APPEARED ON THE STAGE. COME-+ DY / HAS MET WITH A BETTER TREATMENT; WHAT THO' THEY HAVE BEEN VOID OF WIT, ALMOST VOID OF COMMON SENSE OR DICTION, IT COULD NOT HURT A MINISTRY OF THE SAME STANDARD; (I MEAN THE LAST, HEAVEN FOR-+ BID / I SHOULD INSINUATE ANY THING OF THAT NATURE OF THE PRESENT.) SCENES OF CUC-+ KOLDOM / MADE THE JOLLY CIRCLE LAUGH; IT MADE THE THING FAMILIAR, AND TAUGHT THE IGNORANT HOW TO MANAGE INTRIGUES OF THAT NATURE. THE FIRST IMPROVED THE TAME-+ NESS / OF HUSBANDS, AND THE LAST WAS MEND-+ ING / THE UNDERSTANDING OF THE GALLANT. BE-+ SIDES, / THE SACREDNESS OF THE MARRIAGE-CON-+ TRACT / IS SUCH A VULGAR ERROR, THAT THE EYES OF THE PEOPLE WANT TO BE OPENED. - AN UN-+ DUTIFUL / SON, WHO IS JUSTLY ANGRY WITH HIS FATHER FOR KEEPING HIM SO LONG OUT OF AN

ESTATE, IS SURELY A CHARACTER TO BE APPLAUD-+ ED. / - AND HOW WOULD MANY NOBLE FAMILIES BE LINEALLY DESCENDED DOWN, IF THE STAGE DID NOT TEACH LADIES, THAT THE FOOTMAN CAN AMPLY MAKE UP THE DEFICIENCY OF MY LORD. IT IS TRUE, THE FIRST FOUR ACTS ARE FREQUENT-+ LY / FILLED WITH CHARACTERS OF THIS STAMP; AND AFTER THE POET HAS RENDER'D THEM AS AMIABLE AS HE CAN, A FEW STANZA'S AT THE END OF THE FIFTH, TAGG'D WITH RHIME, TELLS US, THAT VIRTUE AND ALL THAT, AS BAYS SAYS, IS THE MOST REASONABLE PURSUIT. IT IS JUST THE SAME AS IF CLOA, YOUR BROTHER D-'S COOK, WAS TO GIVE YOU A SECRETARY'S DINNER ON A BIRTH-DAY, FILLED WITH ALL THE DELICA-+ CIES / OF GLUTTONY AND LUXURY, SUCH AS ES-+ SENCE / OF PARTRIDGE, WHITINGS LIVERS, WILD-+ DUCKS / TONGUES, ETC((.)) AND AS SOON AS YOU HAD CRAMMED YOURSELF UP TO A PADLEING HEIGHT, (A TERM WELL KNOWN TO THE MAM-+ MONS / OF THE AGE) AND A PROFOUND EATING STUPIDITY, MONSIEUR THE COOK WAS TO ENTER AND PREACH YOU A SERMON ON TEMPERANCE AND SOBRIETY. AS TO DANCES, I THINK YOUR PROVINCE OF PROHIBITION DOES NOT EXTEND; SO THE

PUBLIC CAN'T OWE THEIR GRATITUDE TO YOU FOR SEVERAL. (I APPEAL TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN ON THE COAST OF MALABAR, AND THE BANKS OF THE GANGES) WHETHER WE HAVE NOT HAD SOME THAT HAVE EXCEEDED IN POS-+ TURES, / ACTIONS, OR ANY THING OF THAT KIND SO COMMON AMONGST THE POLITE INDIANS OF INDOSTAN. THE LAST PIECE WHICH HAS HAD YOUR PER-+ MISSION, / I DARE SAY YOUR PARTICULAR APPRO-+ BATION, / IS BUT A FARCE, AND WHICH I MEN-+ TIONED TO YOUR G- AS THE OCCASION OF THIS LETTER. - I WAS AT THE PLAYHOUSE IN THE MIDST OF A VERY POLITE AUDIENCE, PART OF IT THE ROYAL FAMILY, WHEN THIS FARCE WAS REPRE-+ SENTED, / AND COULD NOT BUT OBSERVE THE TENDER AND WISE CARE YOU TAKE OF THE FAIR SEX, THE DELIGHT OF YOUR JUVENILE DAYS, AND I PRESUME THE IMPOTENT HANKERING OF A MA-+ TURN / AGE. - IT IS TRUE THE LADIES OF THE PRE-+ SENT / AGE ARE IN GENERAL MORE KNOWING IN THE MISTERIES OF NATURE, THAN THOSE OF AN-+ CIENT / TIMES; NOT A FAMILY IN THE LIBER-+ TY / OF WESTMINSTER BUT CAN JUSTIFY THE AS-+ SERTION. / HOWEVER, AS THE PREJUDICES OF EDUCATION, AND THE SEVERITY OF SOME PA-+ RENTS / WHO PRESUME TO BE DECENT, MAY POS-+ SIBLY /

HAVE HINDER'D A FEW FROM HAVING LAUNCHED INTO THE NIGHTLY MISTERIES OF COVENT GARDEN, THAT THEY MIGHT NO LONGER BE IG-+ NORANT / IN SUCH ESSENTIAL SECRETS, IN WHICH ALL VENAL LOVE IS SHEWN IN ITS PUREST LIGHT, THIS FARCE IS PRESENTED TO THE PUBLIC. THE SCENE, LEST IT SHOULD NOT HAVE ITS DUE AT-+ TENTION, / IS CONTINUED TO THE END. IT IS A BROTHEL, THE PLAN TAKEN EXACTLY FROM A LADY'S HOUSE OF VERY NOTORIOUS FAME IN THAT PART OF THE TOWN, CALLED MOTHER HEYWOOD, AND THE CHIEF OF THE DRAMATIS PERSONAE, IS ONE MRS((.)) LAYCOCK. (MY LORD, IF I MISTAKE, YOU CAN SET ME RIGHT, AS THE COPY MUST BE AMONGST THE ARCHIVES OF YOUR OFFICE.) IN THE FIRST SCENE, THE IMMORALITY OF THE GENTLEMEN, IN THE PAYMENT OF THEIR LADIES, IS VERY JUSTLY EXPOSED, WHICH OC-+ CASIONS / THE UNHAPPY LADY TO BE REDUCED TO LETTING LODGINGS. IN THE MIDST OF THIS SCENE, IN CONSEQUENCE OF THE TICKET AT THE DOOR, OF LODGINGS TO BE LETT, - ENTER MR((.)) THOMAS, HIS WIFE, AND COMPANY. THE INNOCENCE OF THE WIFE, MRS((.)) LAYCOCK, LIKE A KNOWING WOMAN, LAYS HER SCHEMES TO MAKE THE BEST ADVANTAGE OF, AND LUCKILY

IN STEPS MY LORD BAWBLE, WHO NOT BEING PROVIDED WITH THE PRICE DEMANDED, IS OB-+ LIGED / TO GO HOME, TO MAKE HIS WIFE RE-+ FUND / WHAT, WITHOUT PRECEDENT, CONSIDER-+ ING / HIS QUALITY, HE HAD GIVEN HER TO PAY A TRADESMAN'S BILL. IN THIS SCENE, YOU HAVE UNHAPPILY NOT PROHIBITED A FEW RE-+ FLECTIONS, / WHICH MAY BE OF DANGEROUS CON-+ SEQUENCE / TO YOUR LORDSHIP'S COUNTRY; BUT OF THAT I'LL SPEAK AT LARGE PRESENTLY. DU-+ RING / HIS ABSENCE, COMES VERY SNUG IN A CHAIR, MR((.)) ZOROBABEL, WHO IS ONE OF THE GOOD WOMAN'S BEST CUSTOMERS, SHE SEEMS OVERJOYED, TELLS HIM OF THE PRIZE THAT HAD THEN FALLEN INTO HER HANDS: SHE TALKS MUCH IN THE STILE OF MR((.)) COCK THE AUC-+ TIONEER, / HER NEIGHBOUR. SUCH A PIECE! SUCH AN ANGEL! BUT UNLUCKILY TELLS HIM LORD BAWBLE WAS TO HAVE THE PREFERENCE: A QUARREL ENSUES, TO INSINUATE THAT HIS TRIBE PAY THEIR WOMEN BETTER THAN SUCH CHRISTIANS, YOUR LORDSHIP, OR MYSELF. YOU KNEW THE FALSHOOD, AND THEREFORE DID NOT CASTRATE THE LICENTIOUSNESS OF THE POET'S HUMOUR. LIKE COMMON FRIENDS, THE A QUARREL ONLY INCREAS'D THEIR INTIMACY, AND THEY LAY THEIR HEADS TOGETHER, AND THE RE-+ SULT / IS, LORD BAWBLE IS TO BE FOBB'D OFF WITH A STABLE WOMEN OF QUALITY, WHICH, BY

THE WAY, IS TO SHEW THE AUDIENCE, THAT THE BEST COMPANY WERE IN MRS((.)) LAYCOCK'S LIST, AND I PRESUME FREQUENTLY VISITED HER. A NOISE ENSUING IN THE HOUSE, THE JEW IS HUDDLED OFF TO SAVE HIS REPUTATION, AND ENTER AN ITALIAN SINGER, AND AN ENGLISH; WE'LL SUPPOSE THEM MONTECELLI AND MR((.)) LOWE. - THE SCENE NOW BEGINS TO OPEN, AND ENTER MR((.)) ZOROBABEL, MRS((.)) LAYCOCK, AND THE HEROINE OF THE PIECE: HE ADMIRES HER BEAUTY, AND TALKS OF ALL THE LITTLE PRELUDES TO THE LAST SCENE OF LOVE, AS SOFT HANDS, WHITE NECK, SWEET LIPS; THESE PROVOCA-+ TIVES, / AT LAST, MAKE HIM TAKE A SAMPLE OF HER, AND HE FAIRLY KISSES HER, AND FEELS HER BUBBIES; I SPEAK OUT, LEST THE WITS SHOULD THINK UNHAPPILY, AND NOT PAY A PROPER REGARD TO YOUR LORDSHIP'S GREAT DELICACY DISPLAYED THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE FARCE. AT LAST THE BARGAIN IS MADE, AND ZOROBABEL IS PACK'D OFF TO FETCH HER SOME BAWBLES. THE TWO SINGERS THEN ADDRESS THE LADY, AND HAVING DONE THEIR UTMOST TO GAIN HER, ARE DISAPPOINTED, AND THE ITALIAN FLIES THE STAGE, OF AN INCIDENT WHICH DESERVES SOME NOTICE HEREAFTER, AND MR((.)) BALLAD RETIRES TO COOL HIS PASSION WITH MRS((.)) TAWDRY. MY LORD BAWBLE RETURNS WITH THE READY, AND HE AND THE NECESSARY MRS((.)) LAYCOCK TALK

ASIDE; SHE TELLS HIM SHE CAN MAKE NOTHING OF HER YET, SHE IS YOUNG; HAVE PATIENCE, AND SHE'LL DO IT; THAT SHE IS FRESH AND RAW, AND ALL THAT; AND, AT LAST, MY LORD CAR-+ RIES / HER OFF; FOR WHAT? - ONLY TO EQUIP HER LIKE A WOMAN OF QUALITY, THAT'S ALL. TO SHORTEN THE MATTER, THE HUSBAND RE-+ TURNS, / AND THE FATHER; AND, IN THE MIDST OF THEIR ANXIETY FOR THE LOSS OF HER, (IN WHICH MR((.)) THOMAS SHEWS A GREAT DEAL OF OLD-FASHION'D HONOUR ABOUT HIS WIFE) IN COMES MR((.)) ZOROBABEL WITH HIS BAWBLES, AND BEING BAULKED OF HIS PIECE, DISCOVERS MRS((.)) LAYCOCK'S PROFESSIONS AND PROMISES TO HIM, WHICH THE FATHER AND HUSBAND, NOT KNOWING THE WORLD, SEEM TO DETEST, AND RE-ENTERS MADAM THE WIFE. - SHE TALKS OF JOYS AND RAPTURES, ETC. AND AFTER A FEW AIRS, LORD BAWBLE COMES IN, AND ASSURING TOM HE HAD NOTHING BUT KISSES, A RECON-+ CILIATION / ENSUES, AND THEY IMMEDIATELY DE-+ TERMINE / BAG AND BAGGAGE FOR THE COUNTRY, AND THE SCENE CLOSES, AS USUAL, WITH A FEW POETICAL MORAL REFLECTIONS, AND A SONG. WHILST THE FARCE WAS PERFORMING, I OVER-HEARD A GENTLEMAN BEHIND ME CRY OUT, BY G- , IT IS QUITE NATURAL! DAMN IT, I FANCY MYSELF AT MOTHER HEYWOOD'S!

S'BLOOD, THE B-CH SERV'D ME ONCE JUST AS SHE DOES LORD BAWBLE, AND GAVE ME A DAMNED P-X. A SOBER PERSON THAT SAT BY, TAKING A PINCH OF SNUFF, SAID, FAITH FLEET-+ WOOD / HAD BETTER HAVE HIRED MOTHER HEY-+ WOOD, / AND HER COMPANY, PERSONALLY TO HAVE APPEARED. A THIRD, KNOWING YOUR G-'S MODESTY, SAID, TO BE SURE MY L-D C-N WOULD NOT HAVE SUFFER'D IT. WHY NOT? BY G-, SAYS THE FIRST SPARK, I KNOW OF NO OBJECTION, UNLESS PERHAPS HEYWOOD WOULD PUT ON MORE SQUEAMISH AIRS, AND AFFECT MORE MODESTY THAN CROSS'S WIFE. I MUST NOW TROUBLE YOU WITH MY SEN-+ TIMENTS / ON THE WHOLE PERFORMANCE, AND DECLARE HOW MUCH I THINK THE PUBLIC OB-+ LIGED / TO YOUR G- FOR PERMITTING IT. THE FIRST PERSON OF WHOM YOU HAVE SHEWN YOUR TENDER CARE, IS THAT GOOD CREATURE, HEYWOOD, AS IT MUST SHAME HER GENTLMAN-CUSTOMERS INTO JUSTER PAY-+ MENTS; / FOR THE HEIGHT OF IMMORALITY IS NON-PAYMENT OF THE LADIES. A ROGUE OF A TRADESMAN GETS CENT PER CENT BY HIS GOODS AND WARES; BUT THAT GOOD PAINS-+ TAKING / WOMAN, WHOSE DOORS ARE OPEN MOST

CHARITABLY AT ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT FOR THE GOOD OF THE PUBLIC; SHE, I SAY, GETS NOTHING BY HER COMMODITIES, UNLESS HER CUSTOMERS BRING READY MONEY, BUT OP-+ PROBRIOUS / TERMS, AND BROKEN WINDOWS. THE JEWS MUST OWN THEMSELVES OBLIGED, AS FOR THE FUTURE, NO DOUBT, IN AN AGE WHEN MOST WOMEN ARE MERE BROKERS IN LOVE, WHAT LADY WOULD NOT PREFER A RICH PAYING LEVITE, OR A WELL-DRESS'D PRO-+ MISING / CHRISTIAN LORD? NEXT, THE LADIES, WHO YET PEEP THRO' THEIR FANS AT A DOUBLE ENTENDRE, AND HAVE NOT SURVIVED THE PREJUDICES OF EDUCATION, CAN NEVER EXPRESS THEIR GRATITUDE SUFFICIENT-+ LY, / AS WITHOUT THIS PERFORMANCE, HOW DIF-+ CULT / WOULD IT BE FOR THEM TO GRATIFY THEIR CURIOSITY IN SO NICE A POINT AS A BAWDY-+ HOUSE. / - THEY MUST HAVE FEE'D CHAIRMEN; THEY MUST HAVE DECEIV'D PARENTS, AND SENT THEIR FOOTMEN OUT OF THE WAY; AND A THOU-+ SAND / OTHER SHIFTS. - BUT NOW, BY YOUR GOODNESS, ALL OBSTACLES ARE REMOVED, AND IF YOU CONTINUE YOUR INDULGENCE, A PLAY-+ HOUSE / AND A BAWDY-HOUSE WILL BE SYNONI-+ MOUS / WORDS. COULD YOU BUT INTRODUCE A CHURCH-SCENE, LORD! HOW MUCH TROUBLE WOULD YOU SAVE THE LADIES IN POINT OF

DAYS AND HOURS. BESIDES, A WOMAN THAT HAS BEEN AT LUCY IN TOWN, I THINK MAY HAVE A GENERAL PASSPORT TO MOTHER HEYWOOD'S, OR ANY HOUSE OF EQUAL REPUTATION. THE UPPER GALLERY MUST CLAP FOR JOY, WHEN-+ EVER / YOU APPEAR AT THE THEATRE; FOR NOW THEY KNOW THAT THE BALANCE OF HONOUR IS BEHIND THE COACH, AND, NO DOUBT, WILL TREAT THOSE WITHIN WITH AN ADEQUATE OB-+ SERVANCE. / THE COMMUNICATION OF SUCH TRUTHS IN SO FAMILIAR AND PLEASING A MAN-+ NER, / MUST UNDOUBTEDLY ENLIGHTEN THEIR UN-+ DERSTANDING. / ONE THING, I AM IN SOME PAIN FOR, ON YOUR G-'S ACCOUNT; THAT IS, I WISH YOU DO NOT PULL A ROTTEN HOUSE ABOUT YOUR EARS; I MEAN, MY LORD, THE CHURCH: FOR YOU SHOULD HAVE REGARDED YOURSELF SO FAR, AS TO HAVE STRUCK OUT THE SCENE IN WHICH MRS((.)) LAYCOCK INSINUATES, THAT MR((.)) WHITFIELD HAD DRAWN POOR JENNY RANTER ASTRAY, AND THAT SHE WAS TURNED METHODIST. AS RELIGION SEEMS AT PRESENT CHIEFLY IN VOGUE AMONGST THE SECT, SURELY THEY MUST BE THE CHURCH; ESPECIALLY, AS THEIR PASTORS ARE EPISCOPALLY ORDAIN'D. BESIDES, I CHAL-+ LENGE / THE POET, ON BEHALF OF THE CHURCH, TO SHEW ME A SINGLE INSTANCE OF SUCH AN

APOSTACY BROUGHT ABOUT BY ANY DEACON, PRIEST, DOCTOR, BISHOP, OR ARCHBISHOP IN HIS MAJESTY'S THREE KINGDOMS. I AM IN SOME PAIN LIKEWISE FOR YOUR G- ON ANO-+ THER ACCOUNT: WHEN SINGER CANTILERO GOES OFF THE STAGE ON MY LORD BAWBLE'S AP-+ PEARANCE; / I THINK HE SAYS, 'LE DIABLE.' ONE OF OUR DIRECTORS; I WOULD NOT BE SEEN HERE FOR THE WORLD. I ONLY SUBMIT WHE-+ THER / YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE CASTRATED THIS SCENE, AS IT OBLIQUELY SCANDALIZES MON SIGNIORS, THE LORDS COMMISSIONERS OF THE EUNUCHS; - AS IF THE PERFORMANCES AND PURSUITS OF THE CANTILERO'S WERE, IN ALL RE-+ SPECTS, / EQUAL, AND THE SAME WITH THIER LORDSHIPS. I ONLY HINT THIS TO YOU; - YOU MAY MAKE WHAT USE YOU PLEASE OF IT: A SUBORDINATION IS NECESSARY IN ALL CORPO-+ RATIONS / AND GOVERNMENTS, AND IT MAY BE DANGEROUS TO THE ADMINISTRATION OF THE OPERA'S, TO HAVE SUCH A LEVELLING PRINCIPLE INCULCATED. IT MAY FOMENT REBELLIONS! HOW MUCH THE PRESENT AGE IS INDEBTED TO YOU FOR THUS IMPROVING THE MORALS AND KNOWLEDGE, AND PRESERVING THE PROPERTY OF SUCH CONSIDERABLE BODIES, AS THE BAWDS, THE LADIES, AND THE FOOTMEN, I AM AT A LOSS

TO EXPRESS; BUT A SEVERE RAGE WOULD HAVE ERECTED A BRAZEN STATUE TO YOUR MEMORY, EQUAL TO ANY THAT THE ANCIENTS EVER ERECTED TO THAT ALL-RULING DEITY PRIAPUS. I CANNOT CONCLUDE THIS LETTER, WITH-+ OUT / OBSERVING ONE THING, WHICH PERHAPS THE MANY WILL NOT BELEIVE; THAT IS, TO QUA-+ LIFY / YOURSELF FOR THE TRUST WHICH THE LE-+ GISLATURE / VESTED IN YOU, HOW ACCURATELY MUST YOU HAVE READ HORACE; I OBSERVE IT IN THIS PARTICULAR, IN THAT PART OF IT WHERE HE LAYS DOWN SOME RULES FOR TRAGEDY. HE SAYS, ((NEC PUEROS CORAM POPULO MEDAEA TRUCIDAT.)) YOU, MY LORD, HAVE TRANSPOSED THIS TO THE COMIC SCENE, AND, I DARE SAY, TRANSLATED IT THUS, NOR LET THE WOMEN ON THE STAGE SHEW ALL. I WOULD DEFY DR((.)) BENTLEY HIMSELF, IF LIVING, TO MAKE A JUSTER CRITICISM OR TRANS-+ POSITION / FROM THAT AUTHOR, AND I AM SURE IN THIS FARCE YOU HAVE STRICTLY KEPT TO THIS

TRANSPOSITION; FOR NEITHER MRS((.)) LAYCOCK, MRS((.)) TAWDRY, OR MISS LUCY ARE GUILTY OF ANY SUCH INDECENCY. INDEED IT COMES AS NEAR THE LAST ACT AS POSSIBLE; - TO STOP THERE SHEWS YOUR DELICACY. AFTER ALL, I FEAR YOU'LL, WITH YOUR USUAL MODESTY, THROW THE CREDIT OF THIS REPRE-+ SENTATION / ON MR((.)) C-DE'S PERMISSION; BE IT SO, THE PUBLIC, MY LORD, TO YOU ALONE MUST GIVE THE HONOUR, BECAUSE THE LEGI-+ SLATURE / ONLY VESTED THE POWER OF PROHIBI-+ TION / IN THE C-N, AND DID NOT ENACT A POWER OF CREATING A DEPUTY. INDEED IT WAS NECESSARY FOR YOU TO TAKE SOME CARE OF ONE WHO BEHAVED SO WELL IN YOUR FAMILY, AND THE CROWN INDULGED YOU IN A DEPU-+ TATION, / AND A SALARY OF ((300 L.)) A YEAR; BUT THAT'S A SECRET, AND I ASK YOUR PAR-+ DON. / ONE THING I AM WELL CONVINCED OF, THE CROWN NOR YOURSELF CANNOT DEPUTY YOUR JUDGMENT, YOUR ACCURACY, YOUR ELOCUTION, AND THE MANY OTHER REQUISITES TO YOUR OFFICE. YOUR G- KNOWS POETS ARE BORN SUCH; THE CLERGY ARE BORN SUCH; (FOR I DARE SAY PROVIDENCE DOES NOT CALL OR ELECT

THEM AFTERWARDS;) AND FOR THE FUTURE, I SHALL HOPE THAT L-D C-NS ARE BORN SUCH, AND THAT YOU CAME INTO THE WORLD WITH A WHITE ROD, TO REFORM THE STAGE, AND LASH A DEGENERATE AGE. THIS IS THE EXPECTATION OF, ((MY LORD, YOUR G-'S MOST OBEDIENT AND DEVOTED SERVANT, AND ADMIRER.)) //// $ ****